I hear you Michelle - putting myself in the shoes of the one who cheated on me for 2 1/2 years helps me develop empathy for HIM. And consider the amends I need to make to HIM. Hopefully you will find more answers to resolving Resentment than the ones you put forth here. 🙄
In certain situations like yours, making amends or putting yourself in his shoes would not make sense. I agree. The others steps are still valid though. Looking at our part even indirectly can be helpful. For instance, how we have treated the other person can be what we can change within ourselves and in this delicate situation that may be more painful... BUT sometimes it can help us grow. Hope that helps.
@@nish_preps7562 I can’t know what that would be - but the goal in healing a resentment is to find out our part in the situation. When someone cheats that’s not something we contributed to but we can look at how we have acted in the relationship that might contribute in an indirect way. For example, if someone was cheated on - of course they’d have a right to be hurt and upset. Say the person who was cheated on treated their partner badly ( I’m talking hypothetical here ) and wasn’t willing to look at their behavior - that would contribute to the relationship failing BUT it doesn’t excuse the infidelity. Looking at our part can help put certain things in perspective. Hope that helps.
I struggle with resentment for years but recently found out I got I kept bursting when my parents spoke bcs of how I never get a chance to say what I feel
Thanks so much for this video! Do you have any tips on what can be done when others have resentments towards you and even when you have tried to apologize the resentment remains?
Well you could ask them how you can make it right if they are open but if they aren’t you might consider letting it go for now. Sometimes people need time and if they don’t want to engage then respecting that might help.
Hello! Great advice. I am wondering how can I get over resentment if my partner drunkenly kissed another girl in a club…I know we were going through relationship issues but I can’t seem to excuse that behavior because this is something I would never do to him. I do want to rebuild trust, I am just having a hard time letting go of the resentment.
Do you have any advice for a situation where I truly did absolutely nothing wrong. In fact, I was collateral damage between choices that other people made. They acted completely selfishly and jeopardized their relationship with me. I would never do what they did so I honestly cannot empathize, and it was a very selfish and intentional thing. I’m finding it very difficult to let go of my resentment.
@@Christine-gc1bs I would work through the steps in this video. It’s hard if you don’t think you played a part because then you need to assess what you want to do next. I have some relationship checklists that help assess what’s working ( and what doesn’t ). You can find it in the description of this video. Hope that helps.
That’s good and all but if they are a narc? It’s hard when we are in a trauma bond because of their manipulation and gaslighting. I mean how fo we have empathy?
Yeah if you are dealing with a narcissist it iS more challenging but that os a disorder and though it would not be easy given their behavior, having narcissistic traits negatively impacts him too and finding some empathy can help ease the resentment. Setting good boundaries to protect yourself is super important. Not easy for sure.
Hey Michelle, I am in a situation is that my girl friend and I were dating for few months, we had a very strong relationship but I had to go back home in America for 5-6 months. At first, I thought everything was normal because we FaceTime, and text everyday and I thought every thing was fine. Until April, I came back and found out that she cheated on me once in march. I was hurt and felt betrayed but I know she's not a bad girl and she still young and made decision and I know she really love me so I forgave her. we're back together for a month now but I still think of resentment I have for her that she cheated, even though I know part of it was my fault because I've went away for too long so is there a way I can completely forgive her and going forward with our relationship in the future? Thank you. :)
Finally someone with the HOW.
Thank you for sharing
Glad you found it helpful!
I hear you Michelle - putting myself in the shoes of the one who cheated on me for 2 1/2 years helps me develop empathy for HIM.
And consider the amends I need to make to HIM.
Hopefully you will find more answers to resolving Resentment than the ones you put forth here.
🙄
In certain situations like yours, making amends or putting yourself in his shoes would not make sense. I agree. The others steps are still valid though. Looking at our part even indirectly can be helpful. For instance, how we have treated the other person can be what we can change within ourselves and in this delicate situation that may be more painful... BUT sometimes it can help us grow. Hope that helps.
Can you explain what on earth she would need to change in this resentment?
Is her being nicer to her ex partner where you suggest she look??
@@nish_preps7562 I can’t know what that would be - but the goal in healing a resentment is to find out our part in the situation. When someone cheats that’s not something we contributed to but we can look at how we have acted in the relationship that might contribute in an indirect way. For example, if someone was cheated on - of course they’d have a right to be hurt and upset. Say the person who was cheated on treated their partner badly ( I’m talking hypothetical here ) and wasn’t willing to look at their behavior - that would contribute to the relationship failing BUT it doesn’t excuse the infidelity. Looking at our part can help put certain things in perspective. Hope that helps.
@nish_preps7562 just to look at what her behaviors have been in the relationship. She may have no part but it’s important to check.
Wow! I need to work on my resentments. This is deep stuff for me😫
Thank you Bella!
I struggle with resentment of my father, my childhood and how it has affected my outlook on God, myself, and future relationships.
I can we practice this for someone who has passed away
Yeah that is a process often done in therapy. I created a step by step journal for healing resentments that may be helpful to you
I’m just realizing I’ve spent the last 35 years of my life feeling resentment towards my wife. I just starting therapy. What time will tell.
Yeah those resentments can really create separation. I hope these steps help you start the process.
I struggle with resentment for years but recently found out I got I kept bursting when my parents spoke bcs of how I never get a chance to say what I feel
Yeah not being heard can definitely create resentment. Glad it helped!
Thanks so much for this video!
Do you have any tips on what can be done when others have resentments towards you and even when you have tried to apologize the resentment remains?
Well you could ask them how you can make it right if they are open but if they aren’t you might consider letting it go for now. Sometimes people need time and if they don’t want to engage then respecting that might help.
Hello! Great advice. I am wondering how can I get over resentment if my partner drunkenly kissed another girl in a club…I know we were going through relationship issues but I can’t seem to excuse that behavior because this is something I would never do to him. I do want to rebuild trust, I am just having a hard time letting go of the resentment.
That makes sense because it's a kind of betrayal. Building trust will take time and hopefully help you heal.
Do you have any advice for a situation where I truly did absolutely nothing wrong. In fact, I was collateral damage between choices that other people made.
They acted completely selfishly and jeopardized their relationship with me. I would never do what they did so I honestly cannot empathize, and it was a very selfish and intentional thing.
I’m finding it very difficult to let go of my resentment.
@@Christine-gc1bs I would work through the steps in this video. It’s hard if you don’t think you played a part because then you need to assess what you want to do next. I have some relationship checklists that help assess what’s working ( and what doesn’t ). You can find it in the description of this video. Hope that helps.
That’s good and all but if they are a narc? It’s hard when we are in a trauma bond because of their manipulation and gaslighting. I mean how fo we have empathy?
Yeah if you are dealing with a narcissist it iS more challenging but that os a disorder and though it would not be easy given their behavior, having narcissistic traits negatively impacts him too and finding some empathy can help ease the resentment. Setting good boundaries to protect yourself is super important. Not easy for sure.
Letting go of resentment is just as much about healing yourself as forgiving the other person. Drinking poison, you know?
Hey Michelle, I am in a situation is that my girl friend and I were dating for few months, we had a very strong relationship but I had to go back home in America for 5-6 months. At first, I thought everything was normal because we FaceTime, and text everyday and I thought every thing was fine. Until April, I came back and found out that she cheated on me once in march. I was hurt and felt betrayed but I know she's not a bad girl and she still young and made decision and I know she really love me so I forgave her. we're back together for a month now but I still think of resentment I have for her that she cheated, even though I know part of it was my fault because I've went away for too long so is there a way I can completely forgive her and going forward with our relationship in the future? Thank you. :)
Forgiveness is a process and it's different for everyone. I'm sorry but I can't really answer this for you.