RiffTrax: Drugs Are Like That (FREE Full Short)

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  • Опубліковано 9 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 914

  • @brainfat1
    @brainfat1 Рік тому +29

    Legos are like drugs...but more expensive.

  • @scottparkinson3058
    @scottparkinson3058 Рік тому +18

    Videos like this are the reason that drugs won the war on drugs

  • @ArtemyMusha
    @ArtemyMusha 2 роки тому +232

    Remember, whenever you're precariously reaching for the cookie jar, you're shaking hands with danger.

  • @dereksteed2030
    @dereksteed2030 3 роки тому +330

    Now that little girl with the cookie jar will need opiates for her back pain after falling. Drugs are like that.

    • @HylianFox3
      @HylianFox3 3 роки тому +36

      I like how the mother is more annoyed than "omfg my kid just split her head open"

    • @Zara-Bari
      @Zara-Bari 3 роки тому +21

      @@HylianFox3, yeah, assess amount of injury first, and then decide how to respond. Also if they've already deeply traumatized themselves, it seems like you being upset about it isn't going to make them less likely to do it in future.

    • @waysilentbob6976
      @waysilentbob6976 2 роки тому +4

      "I want my lawyer"

    • @UnconsciousCompetence
      @UnconsciousCompetence 2 роки тому +4

      Sugar is the gateway drug...

    • @shanac5536
      @shanac5536 Рік тому +1

      She now lives on skid row

  • @guyvizard549
    @guyvizard549 3 роки тому +52

    "Well?"
    "What?"
    "Who?"
    "Whadya mean?"
    Drugs are like that.

    • @XXhite
      @XXhite 3 місяці тому

      I honestly don't know why this is funny.. but phuck if it didn't make me chuckle🤣💯💯💯.

  • @rgs8970
    @rgs8970 3 роки тому +443

    this short truly does simulate the tedium of trying to tell your sibling a boring story that neither of you care about

  • @thomaspalazzolo5902
    @thomaspalazzolo5902 3 роки тому +508

    First Riff is free man.
    Drugs are like that.
    But seriously, thanks for the free stuff!

    • @DemonWarp65
      @DemonWarp65 3 роки тому +10

      Thanks for the what?

    • @howiegruwitz3173
      @howiegruwitz3173 3 роки тому +6

      In cooperation with the corporation, man

    • @mfraye12
      @mfraye12 3 роки тому +7

      @@DemonWarp65 The free stuff! Drugs are like that, too.

    • @AlcoholicBoredom
      @AlcoholicBoredom 3 роки тому +5

      I hope they’re getting ad revenue

    • @DemonWarp65
      @DemonWarp65 3 роки тому +9

      @@AlcoholicBoredom getting what?

  • @CyberKnight1
    @CyberKnight1 3 роки тому +199

    Habits are hard to break, like spending all day watching RiffTrax. Drugs are like that.

  • @nishsingh8553
    @nishsingh8553 3 роки тому +157

    That kid put together a complex technica-Lego kit without looking at the instruction leaflet.... drugs are like that

    • @daelen.cclark
      @daelen.cclark 3 роки тому +9

      and like toenails and cereal.

    • @tgiacin435
      @tgiacin435 3 роки тому +12

      I love how they shifted a piece that had nothing to do with the main structure, and it frakin explodes and smokes. Drug are like that too

    • @planescaped
      @planescaped 3 роки тому +5

      @@tgiacin435 I just put an m80 in your lego thing for kicks

  • @jimminybunkwhack5706
    @jimminybunkwhack5706 3 роки тому +48

    The gear the girl swapped around literally played no role in the workings of the machine.
    Drugs are like that

  • @Youcifer
    @Youcifer 2 роки тому +35

    These kids have short term memory loss. Drugs are like that, too.

  • @AmyLSacks
    @AmyLSacks 3 роки тому +277

    If I had a dime for every narrator in a short who gloated when a kid was hurt or miserable, I could... uh, afford some *really* good drugs!

    • @Zara-Bari
      @Zara-Bari 3 роки тому +42

      Drugs are like a narrator gloating over the torment of a child.

    • @Sitharos
      @Sitharos 3 роки тому +15

      Drugs are like that

    • @nonprofitgirl
      @nonprofitgirl 2 роки тому +1

      Ooh, can I come over, Amy? Um, I like good drugz and (we all know “drugs are like that...ha ha!” says a narrator when a kid is possibly GRAVELY INJURED!)

    • @Edward-jn5pl
      @Edward-jn5pl 2 роки тому

      @@Zara-Bari Hahaha! Then I need to get me some!

    • @andyjay729
      @andyjay729 Рік тому +1

      If I had a dime for every narrator who sounded like they were on drugs...

  • @fangjokerLS
    @fangjokerLS 3 роки тому +92

    Drugs are also like pipe wrenches, free range chickens, Telly Savalas, line division, and the DC-10 engine assembly mount.

    • @daelen.cclark
      @daelen.cclark 3 роки тому +19

      Not to mention drugs are like enchiladas, alligators, coffee mugs, Mylar, the ark of the covenant, meatloaf, and those little blood stains you find on motel bedsheets.

    • @RichardX1
      @RichardX1 3 роки тому +19

      Strangely enough, the one thing that drugs are NOT like is drugs.

    • @rd30000
      @rd30000 3 роки тому +7

      Like what?!

    • @Dirt_Master
      @Dirt_Master 3 роки тому +12

      You really hit the nail on the head with the Telly Savalas thing. I've been saying that for years. And now that I think about it the head of a nail is like drugs too.

    • @daelen.cclark
      @daelen.cclark 3 роки тому +9

      @@Dirt_Master
      Screws are like drugs, too.

  • @finfrog3237
    @finfrog3237 3 роки тому +167

    Grass is like corn. The lawn is also like corn. Therefore Mowing is drugs.

    • @bleedlifedry
      @bleedlifedry 3 роки тому +12

      THE WHOLE DAMN YARD IS ON A COBB!

    • @straker454
      @straker454 3 роки тому +6

      I'M FREAKING OUT, MAN!!

    • @utility63
      @utility63 3 роки тому +18

      Wait, is corn grass?

    • @finfrog3237
      @finfrog3237 3 роки тому +1

      Hehehehe

    • @finfrog3237
      @finfrog3237 3 роки тому +8

      Drugs are also like old parmesan grated cheese on the rug.
      ~Some Important guy's son

  • @Afaustianbargainbin
    @Afaustianbargainbin 3 роки тому +180

    Lead poisoning in the 70's was no joke, those poor kids :(

    • @Mike-rt2vp
      @Mike-rt2vp 3 роки тому +8

      Yeah they should have shut down the whole country.

    • @lordhirudo5311
      @lordhirudo5311 3 роки тому +21

      I heard that the average IQ in the country went up about 20 points once they got rid of leaded gas.

    • @howiegruwitz3173
      @howiegruwitz3173 3 роки тому +4

      The shooting range should be DOWN HILL from the berry farm

    • @andrewlemerond4688
      @andrewlemerond4688 3 роки тому +5

      Drugs are like that

    • @julieporter7805
      @julieporter7805 2 роки тому

      Or maybe they are now the Strom Thurmond age biting his nails, pulling her hair, and having stimulating conversations that consist of "What?" "What's that?" and "What do you mean?"

  • @arbknight12
    @arbknight12 3 роки тому +254

    Short: “This is a baby.”
    Mike: “Is this an instruction manual for martians?”

    • @WobblesandBean
      @WobblesandBean 3 роки тому +12

      Yes. We all heard him say that. Very good.

    • @suchiuomizu
      @suchiuomizu 3 роки тому +22

      @@WobblesandBean And no one asked for your childish whining.

    • @ilikethecokev2
      @ilikethecokev2 3 роки тому +7

      "Ba-by. Ba-by. Yip, yip yip yip, yip, yip!"

    • @HylianFox3
      @HylianFox3 3 роки тому +19

      @@WobblesandBean You know what's more annoying than people who quote directly from the video? People who bitch about people who quote directly from the video.

    • @RichardX1
      @RichardX1 3 роки тому +7

      No, it's a center for ants.

  • @tgiacin435
    @tgiacin435 3 роки тому +125

    I love how the mom just taps her foot at seeing her kid on the ground crying surrounded by broken pieces instead of making sure she was alright. “Oh you got hurt doing something you weren’t supposed to do? I hope you get brain damage.”

    • @robokill387
      @robokill387 2 роки тому +22

      Drugs are like that.

    • @dynamicsketch
      @dynamicsketch 2 роки тому +3

      @@robokill387 Drugs are also like parent of the year.

    • @demonkingbadger6689
      @demonkingbadger6689 2 роки тому +1

      Gotta toughen them up.

    • @popuptarget7386
      @popuptarget7386 Рік тому +11

      1970s parenting. If there is no visible arterial blood or protruding bones, then quit whining.

    • @danodamano2581
      @danodamano2581 Рік тому +1

      Absolutel, they need to see you break up at predicament and cry louder than they do. Then, promise them they'll never fall again and make sure they can stuff their fat bellies with all the cookies they want on their road to diabetes. Then promis that nothing bad will happen to them for the rest of their lives while living with you until they have someone else or government program to mooch off of. Eternal victimhood!

  • @CinnamonGrrlErin1
    @CinnamonGrrlErin1 3 роки тому +132

    Spending all day watching Rifftrax and MST3K? Drugs are like that.

    • @Jangobadass
      @Jangobadass 3 роки тому +11

      What? They help take the edge off after a hard day, okay?

    • @suedenim
      @suedenim 3 роки тому +11

      I learned it from watching YOU, Dad!

  • @Popebug
    @Popebug 3 роки тому +24

    Nothing says the seventies like an educational drug film where the creators really go out of their way to never tell kids to not do drugs.

  • @tonyjackson4078
    @tonyjackson4078 3 роки тому +28

    So...everything is like drugs? Quit living life. Just do drugs and cut out the middle man. Solid message writers.

  • @cryptodentist
    @cryptodentist 3 роки тому +32

    The kids conversation is like a bad Abbot and Costello routine, spoken by one person

  • @srbrant5391
    @srbrant5391 3 роки тому +26

    Drugs are also like Moorhouse College, Faberge Eggs, thatching, elbow pasta, forklifts, handheld radios, Warren J. Harding, durians, engine manifolds and the 2013 census of Alpha, Wisconsin.

    • @louismonnichii7619
      @louismonnichii7619 2 роки тому +5

      Don't forget the entirety of the Trump administration. Drugs are like that too

    • @srbrant5391
      @srbrant5391 2 роки тому +3

      @@louismonnichii7619 Very much so.

    • @psycher7
      @psycher7 Рік тому +2

      @@louismonnichii7619 What if I DO want to forget that? Can drugs help?

  • @06mustangCE
    @06mustangCE 3 роки тому +90

    "Samuel Beckett wrote this, right?" "Yes, if by Samuel Beckett you mean Scott Bakula in that episode of Quantum Leap where he was a chimp."

    • @Zaneyboy2_0
      @Zaneyboy2_0 3 роки тому +9

      "It was the best of times, it was the BLERST OF TIMES!?!? OH, YOU STUPID MONKEY!!!"
      ...Drugs are like that too

  • @TrashHeapCustodian
    @TrashHeapCustodian 3 роки тому +66

    I'm 100% on team "Mike is frustrated with these dang kids"

  • @FPwLola
    @FPwLola 3 роки тому +73

    The director on this meant to make a cohesive story with dazzling visuals and riveting dialogue but instead he made this.
    Drugs are like that. 😉👌

    • @choosecarefully408
      @choosecarefully408 2 роки тому +2

      You _said_ it, Mr. B-Flat!

    • @lindaeasley5606
      @lindaeasley5606 2 роки тому +1

      It turned out to be a confusing mess because they failed to tackle the actual subject of drugs and how dangerous they are.
      Instead kids came away equating illegal drug use to toddlers eating cookies and babies with a binkey

  • @whyherewhynow7418
    @whyherewhynow7418 3 роки тому +76

    This is the result of the production company being told "Make an anti-drug film for kids, but we don't want to upset the parents so don't actually talk about drugs or portray drug use in any way."

    • @petergray7576
      @petergray7576 3 роки тому +21

      "Also its the 1970s, too. So try to do it in an auterish way like a big budget Hollywood production like the Godfather or Deer Hunter. But we don't have anyway near that much money to afford that, so just hire a recent film school grad to direct, and make the film drip with pretentiousness and unintended irony."

    • @zoeyrochellezhombie829
      @zoeyrochellezhombie829 3 роки тому +3

      Just like teaching sex Ed.

    • @Popebug
      @Popebug 3 роки тому +11

      It also feels like they really don't want to tell kids to not do drugs. It's less "just say no" and more "look, just make sure you get clean needles and you'll be okay".

    • @typacsk
      @typacsk Рік тому +1

      Sounds perfect for the new Florida educational standards!

    • @speedgriffon2504
      @speedgriffon2504 Рік тому +4

      "But DO show a totalled car with the driver's dead body spilling out onto the highway. Because drugs are like THAT too."

  • @nickfarmer2452
    @nickfarmer2452 3 роки тому +57

    "Aahh, you stupid children! Stupid! Stupid!"
    And thus Mike gains a deeper understanding of and empathy for the aliens of Plan 9 from Outer Space.

    • @HylianFox3
      @HylianFox3 2 місяці тому

      "Your STUPID HUMAN MINDS!!! *STUPID!!! STUUUUUPIIIDDDD!!!!"*

  • @hhairball9
    @hhairball9 3 роки тому +16

    "You mean funny ha-ha, or Dane Cook funny?"
    (I can't breathe!)😂

    • @davohna
      @davohna 29 днів тому +1

      Drugs are like that too😂

  • @michellegray7892
    @michellegray7892 Рік тому +10

    The fact this had ads for THC gummies makes this riff perfection.

  • @williamcrowe2576
    @williamcrowe2576 3 роки тому +155

    So to recap, drugs are like the following; a baby's dependency on a pacifier, a silly kids game that's habit forming, absently making yourself dizzy, sneaking into a cookie jar without permission or approval, a lake that's not all it seems, and making a slight alteration to a mechanism just to see what'll happen. Good job, PBS and Lego. Good job.

    • @sclarin2
      @sclarin2 3 роки тому +25

      This short actually caused thousands of kids to start doing drugs due to the traumatic levels of confusion

    • @daffers2345
      @daffers2345 3 роки тому +19

      What the heck happened in that lake? Why did the guy just drown all of a sudden?

    • @Jangobadass
      @Jangobadass 3 роки тому +7

      Thanks! You just explained the metaphors than the short itself! NOW I (think) I get it! 👍

    • @howiegruwitz3173
      @howiegruwitz3173 3 роки тому +6

      All we remembered was the drugs, and the legos

    • @maouprier
      @maouprier 3 роки тому +8

      @@daffers2345 I think the swim was too far/ too long and he tired out. That's my guess anyway.

  • @HylianFox3
    @HylianFox3 3 роки тому +54

    This short taught me that grown men get addicted to Step on A Crack.

    • @Oppeldeldoc1
      @Oppeldeldoc1 3 роки тому +2

      Especially if they resemble Sorrell Booke or Allan Sherman.

    • @TheFreshcorn1
      @TheFreshcorn1 3 роки тому +1

      Drugs are like that, too.

    • @oneearrabbit
      @oneearrabbit 2 роки тому

      Back at it like a crack addict.

  • @foxymetroid
    @foxymetroid 3 роки тому +112

    "What are drugs like?"
    "Yes."
    Also, there's no way these kids don't know what drugs are like. They sound like they're on something.

    • @builderdex
      @builderdex 3 роки тому +6

      When you are "high on life", but it's 70's suburbia.

    • @pryingeyes1551
      @pryingeyes1551 2 роки тому +2

      @@builderdex
      Misspelling the '70s? Drugs are like that.

    • @builderdex
      @builderdex 2 роки тому +3

      @@pryingeyes1551 I was speaking of a very specific suburbia that happens to be owned by my good friend 70.

  • @uthertheking
    @uthertheking 3 роки тому +95

    I've heard it so many times, but I still get frustrated hearing the goldfish twins reset their conversation over and over.

    • @HylianFox3
      @HylianFox3 3 роки тому +13

      Who? What?

    • @Popebug
      @Popebug 3 роки тому +13

      Honestly, drugs would do those kids a world of good.

    • @srbrant5391
      @srbrant5391 3 роки тому +6

      A _whaaat?!_

    • @AmyLSacks
      @AmyLSacks 3 роки тому +9

      @@Popebug Sounded to me like they were already very familiar with drug consumption.

    • @Youcifer
      @Youcifer 2 роки тому +4

      "the goldfish twins" lmao!
      >inb4 "Actually, the notion that goldfish have poor memories is apocryphal."

  • @WhoopDeeDamnDoo
    @WhoopDeeDamnDoo 3 роки тому +93

    It's amazing how much it didn't say about what drugs are actually like

    • @krikeydial3430
      @krikeydial3430 3 роки тому +13

      This made me feel like I was on drugs just from watching. The creators were on lsd for sure.

    • @SkolneyVikings
      @SkolneyVikings 3 роки тому +14

      Drugs are like THAT. What more do you need to know?

    • @jackjones4248
      @jackjones4248 3 роки тому +5

      Drugs are like that

    • @ThatDudeWithBoobs
      @ThatDudeWithBoobs 3 роки тому +3

      It be like that sometimes

    • @skeetsmcgrew3282
      @skeetsmcgrew3282 3 роки тому +10

      If as an adult I had trouble figuring out where they were going with this shit, kids had no chance. If you really want to break it down, they were actually teaching moderation. Its not like they were saying swimming, eating cookies, and playing sidewalk games is inherently dangerous.

  • @JamyzTJerk
    @JamyzTJerk Рік тому +5

    What are drugs like? Watching this short. I feel high af.

  • @fluffyman85
    @fluffyman85 3 роки тому +36

    "Put drugs in cereal to start your day!"
    My favorite part, works so well.

  • @dunbar9finger
    @dunbar9finger 3 роки тому +89

    So for the "change one little thing" part, they ignored the many relevant gears the motion depends on which would actually make the machine stop working, and instead removed the gear that's purely decorative so they had to make a silly effect to fake the machine failing.

    • @daffers2345
      @daffers2345 3 роки тому +20

      I was wondering why it magically started smoking :B

    • @donkrouskop1743
      @donkrouskop1743 3 роки тому +32

      Drugs are like that.

    • @TehDarkOn3
      @TehDarkOn3 3 роки тому +10

      @@daffers2345 drugs are like that.

    • @fuzzballzz36
      @fuzzballzz36 2 роки тому +7

      Not to mention adding Moog computer noises you would NEVER hear from a Lego set.

    • @eaglescout1984
      @eaglescout1984 2 роки тому +4

      LEGO machine destruction sequence written by someone on drugs.

  • @Omnywrench
    @Omnywrench Рік тому +4

    This feels like the lesser known prequel to "Skinamarink"

  • @LuxAeterna22878
    @LuxAeterna22878 3 роки тому +28

    This video can be summed up in one word:
    "WHAT???!!!"

  • @guyvizard549
    @guyvizard549 3 роки тому +16

    I get it. The twist is that the boy with Legos has been stoned this whole time.

  • @ngobleus
    @ngobleus Рік тому +4

    Thousands died that day, and all around the world people asked the same questions: "Huh?" "What's that?" "What lady?"

  • @curleed85
    @curleed85 3 роки тому +57

    Since when were things like a game of “step on the crack” and spinning on a swing addictive like drugs?
    Also, if those kids kept saying, “What do you mean?” to each other, it could literally go on forever.

    • @hoomanm6807
      @hoomanm6807 3 роки тому +21

      Step on a crack is no joke, it's a gateway drug to more serious addictions like spinning or Persian poetry.
      I should know. I used to do that as a kid all the time and now I inject five marijuanas and smoke a beer every day.

    • @stephaniemorrissey123
      @stephaniemorrissey123 Рік тому +4

      @Hooman M I really, really hope that the "Persian poetry" comment is a reference to The Music Man. If so, that just made my week.

  • @MrGroove1970
    @MrGroove1970 3 роки тому +87

    “It’s the Lego William Burroughs starter kit” had me pause the video to laugh for a whole five minutes! 👍

    • @judgem0rt1s23
      @judgem0rt1s23 3 роки тому +11

      That one flew over my head, until I got up to get a drink, and saw my copy of Naked Lunch on my dresser.

    • @srbrant5391
      @srbrant5391 3 роки тому +7

      @@judgem0rt1s23 It shot a glass off my head.

    • @choosecarefully408
      @choosecarefully408 2 роки тому +1

      It was the "hair" -oin joke that did it for me. The listless way Kevin said it...

  • @AReallyBadSN
    @AReallyBadSN 3 роки тому +61

    "ok, ok, Funs over guys, give me my nook. come on guys, i really need that nook! im getting the shakes, ok This isnt funny anymore, give me my nook! oh god im dying here, here comes the DTs, Spiders! SPIDERS!!!! ERRGGGGHHH"

    • @WobblesandBean
      @WobblesandBean 3 роки тому +1

      Remember when people had independent thoughts, instead of just directly quoting other people word for word and expecting attention for

    • @Kirkklan
      @Kirkklan 3 роки тому +21

      @@WobblesandBean Drugs are like that.

    • @CreepyPersonCube.
      @CreepyPersonCube. 3 роки тому +13

      @@WobblesandBean This is a UA-cam comment section. It's either this or rampant real racism and rampant "funny ironic" racism. Given the choice, I guess I'll take the people quoting their favorite joke.

    • @dynamicsketch
      @dynamicsketch 3 роки тому +3

      @@Kirkklan So drugs are like quoting jokes from a film short and complaining about those jokes being quoted.

    • @Kirkklan
      @Kirkklan 3 роки тому +1

      @@dynamicsketch :)

  • @cometkite
    @cometkite 3 роки тому +31

    If anyone wanted the lyrics to the theme song, here you go:
    Once you start some things, you just can't stop
    And drugs are like that too
    You pick it up and it's hard to drop
    And drugs are like that too
    Like a baby going through a phase
    And like a player playing in a daze, yeah yeah
    You break a rule and you have to pay
    It may not hurt, but then again it may
    Drugs are like that too, you know
    Drugs are like that too, I know
    Drugs are like that too

    • @peterd.9522
      @peterd.9522 Рік тому +1

      I wonder if Anita Bryant was one of the singers?She WAS the narrator 😂 She’s in the credits.

  • @aikisteven0616
    @aikisteven0616 3 роки тому +102

    Originally saw this way, way back in 2nd grade. Until seeing it here, I only had vague memories of the class cracking up at 'step-on-a-crack' business guy, and I'm pretty sure that was the only part that held any interest to our sugar-addled, 8-year-old brains.

    • @icemachine79
      @icemachine79 2 роки тому +14

      Did you notice the narrator? Anita Bryant, the singer turned mouth-foaming holy rolling anti-gay rights activist who was famously pied on television.

    • @srbrant5391
      @srbrant5391 2 роки тому +4

      @@icemachine79 The narrator was _her?!_

    • @icemachine79
      @icemachine79 2 роки тому

      @@srbrant5391 Indeed.

    • @caturdaynite7217
      @caturdaynite7217 2 роки тому +1

      No, Miss Anita Bryant. Not, Ms. Anti-Bryant. She probably just had lunch with Phyllis Schafley.

    • @Tony_Cardoza
      @Tony_Cardoza 2 роки тому +2

      @@icemachine79 Anita Bryant rules.

  • @observationsfromthebunker9639
    @observationsfromthebunker9639 Рік тому +4

    This so-called educational film makes "Jus say no!" seem like a stroke of genius.

  • @lisacoleman4389
    @lisacoleman4389 3 роки тому +124

    Thank you, "my boys." And thank you for being my main sanity stabilizer for 20-plus years. I truly dont know what I'd do without you. ❤

  • @ZERO_O7X
    @ZERO_O7X 3 роки тому +8

    Lol at the Moog synthesizer joke.

  • @DrowinMJ
    @DrowinMJ 3 роки тому +37

    "Drugs are like your toys! They're like your toys!" and "Put drugs in cereal to start your day!" have lived in my head, rent-controlled, since this first came out.

    • @Schornforce
      @Schornforce 3 роки тому +2

      Same. lol I find that a lot with the musical bits in Rifftrax and MST3K. Another example in this short for me is "rissleti rossleti meow meow meow." I have no idea what that's from or what it means, but I find myself singing it for no reason often.

    • @Jude300c
      @Jude300c 3 роки тому +1

      @@Schornforce Alfred Hotchcock's the birds. Those school were singing it

    • @Schornforce
      @Schornforce 3 роки тому

      @@Jude300c Oh wow! Thanks, June300c! :)

  • @pixiepianoplayer114
    @pixiepianoplayer114 3 роки тому +53

    Replace every " What?" With a LiL Jon " WhAaaT?!"

  • @jims.2274
    @jims.2274 3 роки тому +11

    "She's not supposed to go for the COOKIES!" ["So her guardian angel tries to KILL HER!!!"]

  • @agentonyx
    @agentonyx 2 роки тому +4

    “We’ll give you methadone instead.”

  • @Shamandigi62091
    @Shamandigi62091 3 роки тому +13

    drugs are like a confusing overelaborate metaphor for drugs

  • @ArchibaldClumpy
    @ArchibaldClumpy Рік тому +4

    That Phil Spector joke was some vintage MST3K shit.

  • @HylianFox3
    @HylianFox3 3 роки тому +34

    14:31
    Narrator: "Some of the things might look great...
    Kevin: "Like stealing James Bond's Aston Martin for a joy ride."
    Narrator: "and turn out to be terrible."
    Mike: "Like dead guys."
    *Bill: "Or homosexuality, or the juice of fruits besides oranges."*
    Bill's riff makes a lot more sense when you realize the narrator is Anita Bryant, the staunchly anti-gay conservative who was the spokesperson for the Florida Citrus Commission (side note: this short was made in Florida). Anita Bryant also appears (and sings, ugh) in the 'Wonderful World of Tupperware' short.

    • @Nightweaver1
      @Nightweaver1 3 роки тому +3

      Wow that one went WAY over my head. These guys really do their research.

    • @joseph-zoramcbride4029
      @joseph-zoramcbride4029 2 роки тому +4

      Aaah, thanks, I was confused by that. Makes much more sense now, and is funny in lieu of being mean. :)

    • @deanfiora4227
      @deanfiora4227 Рік тому +7

      Anita Bryant also had a string of hit pop singles from 1959-1961. If you've never heard them, you're luckier than I am.

    • @psycher7
      @psycher7 Рік тому +4

      Yeah, I was wondering where that swerve came from and then I saw her name in the credits. Makes total sense.

    • @tekbarrier
      @tekbarrier Рік тому

      @@psycher7same! 😂

  • @StanleyFlinn
    @StanleyFlinn 3 роки тому +23

    No way are two kids gonna dump a big box of Lego on the floor and then proceed to sort all the pieces by shape and color without being on some kind of upper.

  • @Nightweaver1
    @Nightweaver1 3 роки тому +6

    I can stop RiffTrax any time I want!

  • @youreviltwin
    @youreviltwin 3 роки тому +38

    Narrator: "Never mind what they look like they'll do it's what they might do you have to worry about."
    Kevin: "Diagram that sentence, I dare you."

    • @daffers2345
      @daffers2345 3 роки тому +5

      It ends on a preposition! NOOOO

    • @Jude300c
      @Jude300c 3 роки тому +7

      My old english teacher would be livid it she her that

    • @elafimilo8199
      @elafimilo8199 2 роки тому

      1) Missing a period in there.
      2) Even so, what a _bad_ pair of sentences.

    • @typacsk
      @typacsk Рік тому +2

      "If we learn to care for others to respect others we'll learn how to care for to respect our country." -- Bob Crane

  • @anonagain
    @anonagain 2 роки тому +5

    PBS was involved in this?
    I'm giving back my tote bag.

  • @Lethgar_Smith
    @Lethgar_Smith 3 роки тому +4

    As someone who began their education in Florida in 1969, I saw the fuck out of this movie all the way through elementary school and even on TV a few times.

  • @LakeFX
    @LakeFX Рік тому +3

    4:54 The Ministry of Silly Habits

  • @demonkingbadger6689
    @demonkingbadger6689 2 роки тому +3

    Never seen a guy in a business suit playing dont step on a crack.
    But, if i do i will ask to share his drugs.

  • @andrewnostvick3275
    @andrewnostvick3275 3 роки тому +18

    "Eye on Pensacola" gets me every time

    • @williamcrowe2576
      @williamcrowe2576 3 роки тому +1

      Are you sure it's not "High on Pepsi Cola"?

    • @HylianFox3
      @HylianFox3 Місяць тому

      It's Kevin's giggle that really makes it

  • @l.a.gothro3999
    @l.a.gothro3999 3 роки тому +18

    Just in time for Sir Ringo's 81st birthday!

  • @daffers2345
    @daffers2345 3 роки тому +11

    Dude, that LEGO set ... lovin' those old-school pieces!

    • @maxxam3590
      @maxxam3590 3 роки тому

      I don't know much 'bout LEGO. They don't make those pieces no more?

    • @daffers2345
      @daffers2345 3 роки тому

      @@maxxam3590 They haven't for YEARS. They make all licensed stuff now, with very specific pieces that are different colors.

    • @EvanCWaters
      @EvanCWaters 3 роки тому +2

      @@maxxam3590 I mean they make the basic blocks in those colors but I haven't seen any gears or engines that you can use to violate the laws of thermodynamics.

  • @jakepullman4914
    @jakepullman4914 3 роки тому +2

    11:47 That's an argument against doing ANYTHING! "It might look like a good idea, but what if it's NOT?!"

  • @boskostoybox
    @boskostoybox Рік тому +4

    Fun fact: I actually found Legos in a box of drugs

  • @andrewforbes1433
    @andrewforbes1433 Рік тому +3

    I was addicted to inapt analogies, once. I was referred to a metaphor clinic, and now I’m right as rain. I mean fit as a fiddle! Oh, no… oh, god…

  • @deanfiora4227
    @deanfiora4227 Рік тому +3

    "It's the Lego William Burroughs starter kit." Love it!

  • @TPrower
    @TPrower 3 роки тому +9

    Constantly and flatly asking for clarification on what they were just talking about?
    Drugs are like that, too.

  • @danodamano2581
    @danodamano2581 Рік тому +2

    Ironical how every other commercial on tv tells you, got a problem? Got a drug for that.

  • @RichardX1
    @RichardX1 3 роки тому +54

    The opinions of Anita Bryant on topics other than drugs do not necessarily represent those of the Lego Company.

    • @seanwilkinson8696
      @seanwilkinson8696 3 роки тому +25

      The opinions of Anita Bryant on *any* topic are not necessarily well-considered or fully-formed, nor necessarily contain any amount of trenchant insight or cogently expressed, retainable knowledge.
      Drugs are like Anita Bryant, too. And they're like the United Nations parking lot, facecloths you can't wash the sour stink out of, desserts where you can tell with one bite contain rhubarb, Mirko "CroCop" Filipovic, ants with cordyceps fungi growing in and controlling them, that N&A Productions goofball who sounds like Balki and acts like he's on bad ketamine, the "Laugh-In" wannabe TV show "Turn-On" that so offended viewers and network affiliates, its premiere episode was yanked off-air halfway through its half-hour slot, tempura-battered and quick-fried oxygen nuggets, the entire population of Medicine Hat, Alberta, and a shiny pebble on the sidewalk.
      Drugs are all like that.

    • @srbrant5391
      @srbrant5391 3 роки тому +10

      @@seanwilkinson8696 It’s also like fuel-injectors, Steak-Ums, Brian Regan and carpet under-padding.

    • @donkrouskop1743
      @donkrouskop1743 3 роки тому +7

      @@srbrant5391 What carpet?

    • @Jude300c
      @Jude300c 3 роки тому +3

      @@donkrouskop1743 you know... the carpet

    • @Tony_Cardoza
      @Tony_Cardoza 2 роки тому +1

      Had Anita Bryant made any statements even slightly controversial regarding racial issues 50 years ago, you better believe that Lego would still make a statement in current year, distancing themselves from her once some smart aleck brought up this short to the lego corporation. Distancing themselves from statements made 50 years ago, that's current year in a nutshell.

  • @Lady_Flashheart40
    @Lady_Flashheart40 Рік тому +2

    I've seen many ineffectual PIFs about drugs (a lot of them from PDFA), but this one really takes the cake.

  • @Omnywrench
    @Omnywrench Рік тому +4

    All jokes aside, its funny how at no point in the actual short do they ever actually name a single drug or illicit substance, nor any of their actual side effects. They just flash some nondescript pills and needles on screen in between their asinine, half-baked metaphors.

  • @demonkingbadger6689
    @demonkingbadger6689 2 роки тому +2

    Drugs are like a box of candy.

  • @MeowthRocket
    @MeowthRocket 3 роки тому +3

    3:50 wonder what he said, ha ha ha

  • @darronjonesii637
    @darronjonesii637 3 роки тому +26

    Rifftrax: You get a riff! You get a riff! Everyone gets a riff!

  • @HersheyHemi1
    @HersheyHemi1 Рік тому +5

    What are Drugs like again? I forgot.

  • @classiclife7204
    @classiclife7204 3 роки тому +13

    So many laughs in this one. Gotta say, in Miami-Dade in the early 70s - where and when this short was produced - they didn't seem to take drugs all that seriously. I've seen, via Rifftrax/MST3K, more alarming safety films about bicycle-riding.

  • @notme222
    @notme222 3 роки тому +34

    Possibly my favorite of all their shorts.

    • @teresacarosella7624
      @teresacarosella7624 3 роки тому +1

      Mine too.👍

    • @WobblesandBean
      @WobblesandBean 3 роки тому +1

      It's my first time seeing it, and you know what, I agree, this is brilliant 😂

    • @bdeamon1
      @bdeamon1 3 роки тому +2

      mine too and it's the one that introduced me to rifftrax

  • @djay6651
    @djay6651 2 місяці тому +1

    At this point, I'm surprised they didn't show a baby drown while trying to get into a cookie jar. Drugs are like that.

  • @Jangobadass
    @Jangobadass 3 роки тому +16

    And I thought D.A.R.E was an epic anti-drug fail...

    • @daelen.cclark
      @daelen.cclark 3 роки тому +2

      It was when it started, at least.

    • @ryanjacobson2508
      @ryanjacobson2508 3 роки тому +1

      Well, drug use did go down a lot in the late 80's and early 90's, so people were listening to the anti-drug crowd.

    • @kendromeda42
      @kendromeda42 3 роки тому

      Why not both?

    • @christopherwall2121
      @christopherwall2121 3 роки тому +1

      DARE was never meant to stop drug use, it was to get kids afraid of cities and black people.

    • @Tony_Cardoza
      @Tony_Cardoza 2 роки тому

      @@christopherwall2121 What an idiotic statement. As if the majority of people in DARE, a program mostly done in inner cities and public schools, wasn't largely aimed at keeping black children away from drugs, as they were the most at risk. It was created with good intentions.

  • @pryingeyes1551
    @pryingeyes1551 2 роки тому +4

    @14:39 The narrator is singer and notorious anti-gay spokesderp Anita Bryant. She ran the "Save the Children" campaign, which fought for the right to discriminate against the queer community in regards to housing and employment, under the guise of protecting children (a manipulative tactic used for so many things. )
    She claimed the passing of an anti- discrimination bill discriminated against her right to teach the Bible to children.
    She was also the spokeswoman for Florida orange juice, hence the orange juice comment made by Bill Corbett toward the end.

  • @bwriddle6650
    @bwriddle6650 3 роки тому +25

    Not sure who’s dumber. Rod from Birdemic or the adult dying from stepping over cracks.

  • @shenloken2
    @shenloken2 7 місяців тому +2

    🎵Put drugs in cereal to start your day!🎵 😂

  • @kenjohnson7682
    @kenjohnson7682 3 роки тому +13

    Yes! I asked them to pretty please add this full short on Twitter the other day. I didn't know I had this much power! 🤣 And you're welcome everyone else who loves this one and wants to make all your friends and family watch it. 😂

  • @jeffjensen8
    @jeffjensen8 3 роки тому +49

    All I can think about is how that Lego set would probably cost $5000 today

    • @daffers2345
      @daffers2345 3 роки тому +4

      I'm thinking the same thing. It's gorgeous!

    • @pong86r
      @pong86r 3 роки тому +10

      Drugs are like that

    • @jeffjensen8
      @jeffjensen8 3 роки тому +6

      @@pong86r I wish that I had only spent that much on drugs!

    • @Jude300c
      @Jude300c 3 роки тому

      You would STILL cost that much today. Legos are one of the few things that have stayed a stable price for many years.

  • @pavo1394
    @pavo1394 3 роки тому +22

    My favorite short. Actually saw this as a kid in school in the 70s.

    • @daelen.cclark
      @daelen.cclark 3 роки тому +1

      Did you laugh at it then, too?

    • @sweetcinnamonpnchkin
      @sweetcinnamonpnchkin 3 роки тому +1

      Probably did

    • @pavo1394
      @pavo1394 3 роки тому +6

      @@daelen.cclark It was Catholic school, so no laughing allowed.

    • @mario0318
      @mario0318 3 роки тому +6

      @@pavo1394 oh yeah. Damn. Thank you. I almost forgot today what Catholic school was like with their God-sanctioned mission of undoing God's work in avoiding the very things that make us human through habit-inducing punishments and the myriad ways of fear-mongering with just the right dose of negative feedback to further recede any self-esteem you may have acquired during the summer.
      Perplexing to say the least.
      Drugs are like that.

    • @crs290
      @crs290 3 роки тому +4

      @@mario0318 So just quit touching yourself. Problem solved.

  • @straker454
    @straker454 3 роки тому +15

    One of my favorites! Right up there with "Good Eating Habits" and "One Got Fat"!

  • @BaronVonHardcharger
    @BaronVonHardcharger 3 роки тому +10

    Have done drugs, can confirm, drugs are in fact NOT like that. LOL

  • @SlamminWolfgang
    @SlamminWolfgang 11 місяців тому +2

    you know, when you jokingly screamed out "what in god's name is a baby?!", I didn't expect the short to answer you

  • @niknik6655
    @niknik6655 3 роки тому +3

    “Original music, by Charles Manson” 😂🤣

  • @goflyakitefilms
    @goflyakitefilms 3 роки тому +3

    Me smoking a Spliff for this Riff? Drugs are like that

  • @LordmonkeyTRM
    @LordmonkeyTRM 3 роки тому +7

    Drugs ARE like that!

  • @spudd86
    @spudd86 3 роки тому +10

    As a source material for a riff this is a greatest of all time contender.

  • @impartialobserver3099
    @impartialobserver3099 3 роки тому +16

    "Rifftrax is like drugs"

  • @TheGourdKing
    @TheGourdKing 3 роки тому +3

    "Gloria Steinem! Janet Reno! Strom Thurmond!"

  • @JamesAcrossAmerica
    @JamesAcrossAmerica 3 роки тому +21

    This would be funny except I'm genuinely addicted to Riff Trax

  • @Youcifer
    @Youcifer 2 роки тому +2

    Drugs are also like diacritics, the seventh cranial nerve, and staph infections.