A Father Son Conflict To Be Aware Of
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- Опубліковано 27 вер 2024
- In this episode, Patrick Bet-David talks about the three phases fathers go through with their kids that apply to business and life.
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Recommended video:
The Fatherless Crisis In America: • The Fatherless Crisis ...
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“Rules without relationship lead to rebellion.” -James Dobson
I believe it was Josh McDowell who said that. Probably heard him in an interview with Dr. Dobson. 😉
Or relationship without rules leads to rebellion ?
My dad left me when I was 11. I’m now 50 and raised two boys of my own and every stage was challenging for me because I had no past experiences with my father to build on. So my approach was from what I aspired to as an individual. I always tell my boys to 1) treat others as they’d want to be treated, 2) live outside the box and never allow yourself to become complacent and 3) pursue your wants and not the wants of everyone else. These ideals will set them success in their personal and professional pursuits.
Great job, Von. I had a deadbeat Dad, and my 2 brothers repeated the role model. I am proud to have raised a very good son, who is a great Dad, too. My daughter married a great guy who is also a very great Dad. I sent them both this video. I adore Patrick Bet David. What a wonderful role model for Everyone! Blessings to ALL. 🙏🏼❤️⚖️
same, but i had a father with loved his career more than his family.... never saw him, rarely interacted with him.
what if ur son is a socoipath or sadist? how will he treat people? like he wants to be treated? i have rarely met anyone in my life, who deserves it
Something else to keep in mind is that all people secretly think they are both smart and right. So almost everyone thinks they are doing a good job or at least doing the best they can. However, in reality, they are morons and simply turning their kids into spitting moron images of themselves. It's tragic. There used to be social strata to keep these dopes in their place but nowadays, everyone is "equal". Everyone deserves the same "outcome". Nope. We all deserve respect as humans but most people are just total NPCs and there's very little that can change that.
You might have them evaluate those "wants" as well, because we have too many young Americans aspiring to be influencers rather than earning useful skills. If we don't change something about our kids' mentalities, then, eventually, America will have no one capable of maintaining our systems and infrastructure. It's not always bad to think inside the box, especially if you're good at what you do.
That classic saying, "The older I get, the smarter my father becomes."
As a fuck up…. I thought my dad didn’t know shit. I have a 7 month baby…. Hahaha my dad was fuckin’ right.
O.M.G. ...
Not true in all cases.
@@vv1n_yt Of course not. Almost nothing is absolute.
@@ModernSpartan300 you can turn things around and be a huge success for yourself, your father, and your baby
I still understood without having a kid myself, that my dad was hard on me for my own good
Maybe... Maybe he just was a weak d*ck...
The people that cares about you, will ANGRY when you going down a dark road that u don’t understand,sometimes our parents can see where you going but you don’t, its called experience, u mite go uni and all the scool stuff and u think u smarter thn ur parents you not, you see life is about experience, your parents ALREADY walked this earth more than you, so everytime they hard on you , u mite not understanding it that time but when you grow up and have kids on your own you will be like, man thats why my parents did that did thisto me, and things start to be clear, much love
@@trustGodsOnly They should have raised you better, so you already knew, that going down certain roads easily could get you into deeeep sh*t. And you don't TELL your kids or other loved ones, what they should do and shouldn't - you TEACH THEM WHY, before they start zig zagging through "adult" life.
I know this is about Fathers, but the same thing holds true for Mothers. I'm in my 60's and I lost my Dad 40 years ago. I lost my Mother 25 years ago. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of them, and how smart THEY were, and how dumb I was.
I miss them both.
as a father of 3 successful gentlemen, I have been blessed with great relationships. Someone said that the best measure of success is when your adult children enjoy spending time with you. Yearly family trips since they were born have been parts of the best days of my life.
You ae giving great advice as always. You are wise beyond your years.
What trips you recommend me going on with kids?
@@investornabil8825 that changed over time as they. grew. It included overnight boating trip, participating in Robotica and Battlebots, ski trips, hiking, camping, ( in high school). Alaska fishing, climbing Mt Washington, and most recently Pyramids, and Petra( including my granddaughter). I really don't think it matters so much what you do but that you are present with them and teach them by living a great life in front of them. Enjoy them!
Very good advice, one should note that it doesn't require great funds to travel and see places, but good planning and desire to go out there
Facts! Man is definitely wise-beyond- his age🙏🏼🫡
Have you been able to avoid the demonising fase?
I always respected my dad BUT true respect didn't hit until I became a father myself. Understanding he was able to get through what I was currently going through gave me a new perspective on how good of a man he truly is because he never gave up.
I just came out of that “blame dad, play victim” phase…. As I see all that he said was true and accurate and I immediately reached out to repair our relationship! And the shift came from having a family of my own and Pat opening my eyes to a lot of things so thanks Pat!
oh ya all that in 2 hours of this video coming out
@@1988ZER 😂lol well if that’s the case then hopefully it’s not just dopamine talking. When that stuff wears off hopefully it’s the same energy.
That’s good bro 😎 I’m afraid I’m not doing good with my girls but I’m trying as hard as I can and they are teenagers but they love spending time with me so I must be doing something right I hope
Dustin ur a sheep
@@ryannorman8898 family comes first, job well done
As a father of 2 sons. We are not their friends and discipline is key. Structure, Care and teaching basic courtesy, kindness. Thanks PBD👍🏼
As a father myself I have a great relationship with my son, I've seen parents argue with their teen kids claiming to be right about everything and that the kid knows nothing when in fact each party can learn from each other. Parents need to put their hand up and admit when they are wrong
I'm glad that some fathers like you are aware that not every thing that say is true.
Literaly my fathers were like that, every single thing that came out from then was absolutly true for them, even they talk about things that are out from their knowledge, they were angry because I didn't belive them. And now I saw this video that bring me back to those times. I'm glad that some fathers like you are aware that not every thing that say is true
Respect to all the loving fathers out there.
Be an Encourager first.
You can't challenge anyone until you encourage them first. People don't accept a challenge before they open their minds through encouragement.
A great scentence you can implement when having a rough conversation with someone you like is " i love you anyways". When arguing with you little sister or with son or dad. Just that tiny sentence at the end makes a huge difference in how they will precess your convo afterwards
40 years old and I'm still in the demonising phase. That really kicked into another gear when I had my first son and realised a dad should never treat their kids they way mine did. It's amazing what you can accept as normal.
I loved my father untill I became a father and I realized all the terrible things my father did to me that I would never do to my child.
@@josephp7935 do you know why your father was the way he was
@Hi It's me He was raised by an abusive alcoholic who beat him and his siblings relentlessly. I think my father feared masculinity because he only was shown the horrific side of it. When my parents got divorced (I was less then 1 year old) I think it really hurt my dads ego. As he went onto his next relationships he was a door mat and let his girlfriends mistreat us and take all his money. Once I had my own child I realized how wrong what he did was to us. Now he is remarried and he gives his wife's kids, whom are not at all related to him, money and lots of attention. My dad refused to pay for my college or help in any meaningful manner and yet he buys his step kid a house. I refuse to talk to him now.
There is a bit more but this is the jist
Same
One of the Tribe Dadless here, a lot of these lessons I’ve learned the hard way with running from poverty.
Growing up I didn't have much of a relationship with my father. He would provide etc but he wouldn't offer any guidance or advice or was there when I needed him. He would scould and be critical of everything that I did. Fast forward now after nearly two decades me and my father are like best friends. I honestly learned to appreciate my parents when I myself became a parent because it can get very difficult.
Im 33 and my dad has never told me he loves me. He was tough as nails but i learned alot from that man. I love you dad 😏
We need a podcast we’re father mother daughter and son sit and talk about there daily life and find solutions together.
For me, my father had a couple strokes when I was very young and it completely changed him. Everything he thinks and does is for self preservation. He was there to provide for his family, but that’s about at far as it goes. I know it is not his fault so I try to not have animosity towards him for being the way he is now because I’m lucky and it could’ve been much worse, but it really is sad seeing a parent always putting themselves before their kids in everything they say and do.
I grew up without my father being a positive influence in my life. Often times, he let me down. So much to the point where I have completely lost trust in him, still to this day. However, I was fortunate enough to have positive role models in my life (male and female). I am now a father to a beautiful baby boy who is two years old. Although I didn't have a great father to look up to and raise me, my experience taught me of what NOT to do if I ever became a father and that inspires me today to be the version of myself that I can be and to always show unconditional love and support to my son. It is the most challenging yet rewarding role I could ever ask for.
My dad was always level headed and made relatively good decisions. I think he made some poor financial decisions over-time but couldn't of asked for a better dad TBH. It took me until I was about 28 (I'm 29 now) to fully respect him. He's still allowing my sister, who is a single mother with historical drug issues, to live at home with my parents.
I've been renovating my house by hand and I'll probably start working at improving their house after I'm done with mine.
My Dad is and was my best friend. I was blessed to have known such a great man.
The hardest thing about my dad is when he left my mother brother and I homeless to be with his gay lover. He’s dead now so 🫠 it won’t ever change for me I wish I could have a mentor so I could be better for my kids. I wish I could of had someone just challenge me and show me what manner to uphold in this world.
Im raising 6 sons. It's a challenge, but fun and rewarding. Thanks for this video. Awesome and simple perspectives.
He bless you/Keep you/ Smile @ you/ give you peace.
My boy turned 9 today. This kid is the real deal. Sharp as a tack, promising athlete, polite and level headed. My biggest concern in life now is me getting in his way and messing him up. My job is simply to provide, encourage and realise when to get out the way and let him go. It's some ride being a Dad!
Mine is 6 and it's the same situation. Life in general is a trip and this been going on for millions of years
My son is 3 months old, and I am already thinking about that stuff. My dad died when I was 1 so I have no idea of a solid father figure. I'm scared that I am gonna fail him
@@Edward.Rippett. read books on successful fathers and what they do. Emulate them and also get some mentors or role models and learn from them.
Pat, my #1 favorite content is when you talk about your kids and raising kids. - Dad in DFW
If you enjoy topics about masculinity and mastery, I invite you to explore the videos I share on the Mastery Order Channel.
Challenge yourself with some ideas about manhood, explore your masculine potential to the maximum and become the kind of man you would respect and look up to.
We can only better ourselves together, as men among men, so I invite you to use what I share and, of course, share your own points of view so that others can benefit from them as well.
All the best to you!
Pat your like the wise uncle I never had.
Thank you this! Similar things happen to Moms and it can really be painful.
That's powerful to break down the principal of a father. I've been thinking back and fourth of wanting to start a business and I see that applies to real world situations
REAL Dad's are the Ultimate Heroes on this planet. Way to GO Patrick. Lead like a father. However, plant seeds of interest and some of it is easier. I really appreciate U.
Fathers are super important in a child’s life. Thank God for dedicated dads. God bless them!
Great video. I would only add one last stage where the leadership role shifts from father to son. There often comes a point, as a son growing up in the modern world, where I have had different experiences and learned wisdom from sources my father never encountered. It is then up to me if I want to save my father from the proverbial belly of the whale.
I bet you watch JP...
We need more of this!!!!
integrity, civility and human competition
I'm a father n love the extra advice u give I have a 6 yr old boy
The humanity phase is typically when you realize that your parents are human too. They didn’t get a tutorial on how to parent, they did the best they could and showed love in the ways they knew. Mistakes were made and accepted. If you resonate with this, then it’s typically a sign of becoming an adult.
My dad had a problem with me flirting with guys in school and I hated my dad for that a long time. After my breakup that I was unable to focus on my goal, I realised why my father wanted me to stay out of boys because I might not study if I am in love with a wrong guy. Thankfully I did great in school which gave me a great career and I love my dad very much.
I’ve been in stage 1 with my dad my entire life. Always knew he was the man & looked up to him before he passed away.
Such a good video. My pops was very hard on me growing up, I didn't know it back then but I took it the wrong way and started hanging out with the wrong type of people. Fast forward a few years and I was stuck in a situation I didn't know how to get out of. I reached out to my pops to this day he has always been there for me and never gave up on me. Our relationship has never been stronger, he was right back then and he was in the right now. We are bestfriends now and our relationship has never been stronger
As a son and a father of sons, this couldn't be more true. I went through this, I was blessed that my 17 yo didn't go through as many phases, but my 15 yo son is currently in the demonize stage.
This is an understanding that will benefit families greatly.
Best advice I've heard someone give in a long time. It's all about talking to people and being clear about what's really going on. Everything you said, 100%, spot on.
Superb video. But, let me share this here knowing it can uplift someone that comes across it. Effective financial management made me rich and it is all you need if you want to build a strong financial future tomorrow. I started with 1000USD, 3 years ago I invested in a diversified stock market and fast forward to now I am worth 500000USD and am currently finishing my 8 unit apartments. I'm only 35 years old. Diversified stock investments have always proven to be very profitable, especially with the help of experts.
I'm really impressed. At 35, i was worth a little over $200,000 from * in the stock market. But what you've done with your *finances* and numbers you worth, is pure genius.
You have done well. It's people like you who set the benchmark for people like us to know that achieving financial stability and transition of status from being comfortable to wealthy is possible with the right *investment* plan.
I'm curious, is *investing* in a diversified stock *market* a pretty lucrative venture? Can you share how you achieved these figures?
@@todddelaneymargaret1893Experience plays a key role when *investing* in diversified *stock markets*, which is why I have Rachel Hilda, whose experience has greatly helped me persevere in the diversified *stock market*. For three years she helped me grow my portfolio using her diversified knowledge of the financial *market*.
@@procbarkley3193 Thank you very much for the response, I don't know if you can share a medium that I could use to communicate with Rachel. It's really a tough time for me due to inflations and an additional source of *income* would be exactly what I need for me in these unprecedented times and does she accept a minimum amount for startup?
You seem like a great coach!
Awesome topic!
This is one of those videos that I'll listen to as often as possible. I definitely needed to hear those reminders.
I am 29yo and have a 9 year old boy. I come from a very dysfunctional family and was raised in a children's home from the age of 11. I have had serious trouble being a hands on father with my son and have been more of a disciplinary father, not with violence or abuse. But this has made it very hard to build a strong and healthy relationship with my son. He has a friendship relationship[ with his mother which I admire and would love to have with my son. This video is really helpful and has inspired me to become more than just a disciplinary, I need to be a better mentor as well.
I demonized my Dad till today. I’m 29 now and seeing him laying in the icu made me realize he’s just human. I haven’t been the best son but there’s soo many things I’ve learned that I’ll use with my daughter and son that I have in future.
Wow.. that was so beautifully said and 100% True. I have 3 boys and they are 2 years apart from eachother and I know they are going to be very successful in what they decide they want to do in life. You broke me down 😢 and for that I will b calling a meeting this weekend to tell them I know how hard I am on them but love them to death and just want the very best for them. Thanks brother I needed to hear that🙂
Yep went through all that and now with my son. In my mid 20s I realized how right my dad was I’m 40 now
i swore I would never speak to my father, and didn't for almost 10 years. Now we talk every day and I finally got through that demonize phase. I realize he regrets a lot and I don't want to be carrying a grudge for the rest of my life. Forgive and move on. We're only human.
Patrick, I learned that the "fathering" process is a masculine way of teaching that I learned from my men's training which started back in 2018. It is exactly like what you described. I've been on both receiving and giving end of the process, and unfortunately, there is no other way around it - it is tough love.
Oh yeah man, I hear you, greatA advise, I have an absent son n law that I need to mentor. Pray for me as I work through his mentorship
I appreciated this video as a father of 3 2 of them being boys. Thank you Pat keep the content going!
I never had that issues with my dad. I never expected him to be perfect and same with my mum.
My daughter went through these phases too. Seems I regained my intelligence when she was about 25. 😅
Great content! I also have quality time with my 3 sons. I pray with them and read the Bible with them.
Working with my soon to be 13 year old currently who lives with his mom, I miss that idolization phase lol. Great kid, loving towards all his siblings including my new daughter, funny as hell, super smart, but there is something about school that he just doesn’t care much about it. I calmly talk with him about it instead of being my normal hyper aggressive self which is how my pops (Air Force vet) brought us all up. I’m not going to give up on pushing him because he has to at least make it out of high school to get into a trade or something if he doesn’t turn it around and go to college. He told me he wanted to be a doctor last month when I saw him so I intend on continuing to push him. Love the channel Pat!
I said it from the beginning of my fatherhood…I’m in it for the long game, and don’t expect to see results or be appreciated in the short term. That’s a shock to the system of many women in my life, whom I appreciate their contributions for our kids as well!
👍👍👍 I have a seven year old son that idolizes me, it's great.. and a 12 yr old young man that I raised since he was 2.. we are bumping heads at the moment.. but I keep reminding my self that he will see what I'm doing for him, instilling in him, when he gets older. It hurts sometimes, but I have faith one day he will see.
I raised two sons. Both are today highly successful n their families and careers. You can challenge and push your children but never push them to the point that they start to question your love for them. You also need to teach to never say or do anything that will embarrass their mother. Just some thoughts from an old man.
We all need a man to respect and look up to in life. They might not always feel like your best friend but teaching, learning, trust, and knowing that one day all those things you thought were silly and hard times make the next generation of men able to carry on what's needed to survive. You can catch a fish and feed your son for a night or you can teach your son how to fish and and feed him for a lifetime. Thanks for the video. You're an amazing person.
Glad to say I've never demonized my dad. The first one, for sure, quite possibly on the second one. But never the 3rd
I cry every time I hear the song "the living years" by Mike and the mechanics
I'm the oldest of five brothers and my dad was incredible! I could never demonize him!
Highly relatable and true in its entirety.
My parents were divorced when I was two. He was not a part of my life until I met him again when I was 53.
The only effect my father had on me was that I knew I’d never be anything like him as a parent or as a man.
My kids were given all the love a parent could give as well as discipline. In fact I remember hearing my kids say “Yes dad, I know you love me, you love me!”
I might have overdone it but today as adults we still end all our conversations with “I love you!”
They’ve both grown up to be wonderful responsible adults who are a credit to society.
While I hold no hard feelings against my father, I hold no strong feelings either way.
Hard to feel anything about a stranger.
It was ur mum tho who pushed him out of ur life
Pat is so intense about everything he does, this is how you win.
Pat thanks for putting such valuable content on the internet.
Thank god for you pat may Jesus Christ be with you and bless your path ❤
Your content is never disappointing, and always valuable. 👍
I lost my father to sarcoma in 2016 and I’m 40. We had a rough last 12 years because I was using drugs. I got sober 3 years ago on Aug 10. My father was a restaurant legend in S FLA. He was so smart (street and book). He was right about everything. I couldn’t mature in my addiction. But everything PBD says is true
It would be great to have an episode for the generational trauma curses that are broken by the stand up young men and women who did not have that role model. I had two parents that left too soon I was raised by other caregivers made huge mistakes in my life set all those aside to be the best parent I could possibly be when the father walked out. But the truth is when you don’t heal The inner child set aside or not the journey is brutal. So 28 years later there is grief as one child alienated one did not. Also you can’t know what you don’t know and my generation didn’t teach how to be open or how to ask for help or have the help needed be available. Good news though I took that pain and instead of being bitter that the other parent hell no accountability I returned home told my inner child I was never going to leave her again And have been on the best healing experience. Prayer of thankfulness is key to ALL. Thank you, your videos are great you are restoring values that the agenda is trying to wipe away with, great job! ❤
Thank you for being such a positive influence on everyone! I know you’re a great dad but it means a lot that you show compassion and respect for those you don’t even know! Thank you
I loved this. My son is 14 and a genius. He’s not motivated. Gets fantastic grades and scores off the charts. I want him to use his gift. Develop it. He has never studied for anything. Not even one minute. But he rebels any time I try to give him advice to prepare for college. Struggling with this.
The fact that Patrick is talking Dad stuff is a huge positive. Being a Father...don’t call it a come back
I never had those stages in my relationship with my father. Maybe because I saw my brother go through stuff with my parents, and he is 7 years older. My dad and I maintained a great relationship. Then he died when I was 21. He equipped me in many ways, but my life slumped after his death. I am now 48, married 6 years and have a 3.5 year old son. My dad and I had our moments. For instance, when I exploded after he took over when he was teaching me how to put a piston in my engine rather than let me do it myself with verbal guidance. It took almost a decade before I could bring myself to go camping where we did together. I miss him every day.
This is very good advice. Dads train adults. Good work
Saved this to my favorites for my own personal reasons. But thank you for sharing.
I hope your kids know how lucky they are
Cool content, Pat. I've got 4 young sons under age 7 and these things are my constant thoughts.
My father, unfortunately, was a true monster who could not control himself and so, while I've grown up and forgiven my father, there isn't an opportunity for a true "My dad was right." moment.
Anyway, I love my boys and am working hard not to repeat my father's mistakes and grow them into strong men. Enjoying every year with them and again, I appreciate this content.
Beginning to feel some pushback from my teenager now, and I know the bambi syndrome will get worse before it gets better. I just pray I don't lose him to the arrogance we all go through in our 20's.
I honestly love you man.
I needed this today. I've got a great relationship with my boys but I'm always looking to improve and grow with them.
Love my boys and love being Dad.
Never got any of that. My dad worked two jobs to keep the wolf away from the door and he did a good job of that but I rarely saw him. I was left with an angry, authoritarian mother who kept a a board wedged in the hallway heat register that she used to beat us with, always when she was spitting, swearing, red faced angry. I learned to try to never be home, to never ask for anything, because asking for things and being home was too scary.
Your kids are so lucky to have you!
daymn i felt this video and he is speaking straight facts
Very true...
I wonder if you have told him about your Assyrian background to your son?
You are a great person in any sense and you are blessed by having such a loving family. ❤️
Excellent advice!
God Bless!
Sir Please make video on the following
video 1: 10 books on Negatiation
video 2: 10 books on human nature
video 3: 10 books on sales
video 4: 10 books on money
Amazing advice!💯 Totally correct! 💚🙏🏻
This hurt and I have to comment and hope a young man or daughter sees this who may be fighting or on bad terms with their father. If he is always wondering where u are or what your doing, he's not being nosey, he's scared ur put there in the crazy world. If he gets on your nerves with lectures and speeches on life, he doesn't think your stupid, he wants you to learn only to succeed where he may have not... in my case, I was in the "demonizing" phase and like Patrick said, one day I woke up, but i didn't have kids, i hadn't grown in wisdom. One day I woke up and he was gone. I got to say a few last good byes as we waited for him to be taking from our family couch which he slept on one last time,and then on to the morgue. Leaving me with a life time of guilt that I honestly barely survived in my early 20's.. i lost him at 18 and I'm now 34 years old and i have a small boy myself. I would give anything to see my son held in my dad's arms.... your dad loves you, especially when he's there at every turn to the point of annoyance. He loves you more than u know. It took losing mine to learn that. God bless
Amen.
Man that was really solid. Thank you
Definitely appreciate the perspective..It's not easy choosing to be unpopular at times when trying your best to raise and be a positive influence..Thank you.
powerful message!
My father had 8 children after being a prisoner of war. He provided food, clothing, shelter and anger. Not sure what this guy's talking about but sounds cool.
needed this today
As a person who's father left as a child , I became homeless as a teenager, so then i moved across the country with said biological "father" thought it was the best thing ever at first , we started a family business (with my money) and he literally walked out on me on again. This time it was our business I was only 21 at the time and he left me with all the duties of over seeing a small "family" restaurant overnight.. everything was in my name, including the loans and now here I am years later , slowly chipping away at the debt , not able to depend or trust anybody ... there's plenty more I can say about how bad of a person he is but it's not worth it. I been betrayed by every single person i trusted and loved or thos people have died, But eff it, that's life right. I'm still here 👍
Excellent!