Conquer the FEAR of Being Alone!
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- Опубліковано 6 січ 2024
- 👉🏼👉🏼👉🏼 PDF: What to do when Panic Strikes: F.A.C.E. Fear
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👉🏼👉🏼👉🏼 Panic Attacks Self Assessment
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Recovering from the fear of being alone involves the same treatment process used for recovering from any phobia. Exposure and Response Prevention therapy or ERP is a specific type of CBT Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and is the evidenced-based method of treatment to treat phobias.
ERP involves gradually confronting the fear of being alone by starting with short periods of time and progressing from there.
Safety aids, like having a safety person with you or having them on the phone, along with distractions are slowly eliminated while the time spent alone including doing activities alone are increased.
As you can imagine, recovery involves educating the key people in your life about how they can support your independence without supporting your anxiety, while still treating you with compassion and understanding.
Overcoming the fear of being alone isn’t just about enhancing mental well-being, it opens the world to people again. They genuinely want to do things independently and are so much happier in every aspect of their lives when they recover.
If you need help, I include compassionate exposure treatment for the fear of being alone in my new program to help people recover form agoraphobia called, “Power Over Agoraphobia”. It’s coming out soon and you can sign up in advance at paigepradko.com.
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Until next time...I will see you in session,
Paige
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(Although Paige Pradko is a licensed psychotherapist, the views expressed on this video and this UA-cam channel including comments or any related content should not be taken for medical, psychological or psychiatric advice. Always contact your physician and mental health provider before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.)
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I developed fear of being alone in the car or at home waiting for my husband. I get IBS just thinking that I would be alone waiting in a doctor's office as well. I had an insecure attachment in childhood and I am bipolar with both parents being narcissistic. I started the practice of exposures being alone at home for increasingly longer periods and I am tolerating it much better. But waiting in the car is still a problem. I have mapped out all the bathrooms in my city since I get the need to use them every time I wait in the car when my husband picks up food, etc. I am 70 yrs old, and I have dealt with this problem for a long time. But my anxiety is caused now to a family situation. I am not particularly afraid of any possible outcome when I am alone. It seems to be a subconscious problem that originated in childhood, when I actually was left alone routinely. Thank you, Paige for bringing this up. You are a ray of sunshine for us!
I am sincerely sorry that you have had anxiety symptoms throughout your life. I am always impressed by your knowledge and how much work you have done and continue to do to improve. You have a strength within you that keeps motivating you to keep going and keep gaining courage and strength. I am grateful that you continue to support my channel and the people that come here with anxiety conditions that need help and support.
I wake up sometimes 1-2-3 AM , wide awake, with no one up to talk to and nothing interests me to read or watch - I begin to get anxious even panicky. This happens several times/month - mostly of weekends when I’m not working
I developed monophobia (and agoraphobia) after being on a benzodiazepine called klonopin for over 15 years. I never had issues with being alone or going places until I was put on this drug. It slowly developed over the years until I ended up housebound and needed someone home with me 24 hours a day. It was maddening. I felt so unsafe in my body and couldn't explain why. I went to so many therapist and no one recognized it was being caused by the klonopin. I've been off the benzo for a few years now and I no longer deal with the monophobia and can drive around and go places again. I'm fine now being home alone for hours, days at a time. I wish more doctors and therapists recognized that medications (particularly benzodiazepines) can cause this condition too. It would have saved me many years I spent struggling with this.
How terrible that you went through all of that due to klonopin. Not many know that agoraphobia is a side effect of taking benzodiazepines and I imagine monophobia is as well. So glad that yo are off those medications and feeling better.
Wow thank you so much for saying this! I am on klonopin and tapering but ive been afraid to taper all the way and i deal with this fear of being home alone because i fear i will become depressed or suicidal [never been depressed in my life] but it is irrational... i had NO IDEA benzodiazapines could cause this!! How many mg were you prescribed per day? I was on .5mg twice a day now im down to .5mg once a day but this is inspiring to me that it didnt make anxiety worse coming off but it actually HELPED you! This is life changing!
@PaigePradkoTherapy thank you so much for this information!! I had no idea benzos could cause this!
@PaigePradkoTherapy could you please post about benefits of coming off benzos and side effects many don't know about maybe?
Whenever my anxiety is sky high & mood is depressed, I feel anxious being alone because I fear if I'm alone, I might harm myself. 5 years ago when this first happened, I became so fearful that I'd waste my time roaming around with an alcoholic friend (I'm a teetotaler) just to have someone in my company or play soccer with school going kids. My parents came to visit me for a week, I forced them to stay for a month. Later I realized that it's my brain which is projecting all such scenarios to me whenever it becomes anxious. And I used to do exactly the thing which anxiety wanted to keep itself alive. Now I stay alone even during my anxious phases & don't let the fear overwhelm me.
I am sorry you went through that. But you are doing better now managing anxiety.
I've been suffering from this age agoraphobia for ten years now. It happened after i was in an abusive relationship with a chronic narcissistic gaslighter. I was gaslit until i didn't trust music to know what up, down or side to side was.
What started it was having panic attacks (out of nowhere lol now i know why) and i would call him because he was the only person that could "save me".
It just kept getting worse and worse and now i can't do any of the things i love about life and I'm very depressed now.
I spend my days at my friends house and then go home to my partner. I miss my solitude and independence.
I'm 35.
I can't go to the grocery store, make friends or even function. And yes I've been diagnosed with panic disorder, medical anxiety and OCD (obsessive, not really compulsive)
I am so sorry that you went through that and began to shut down to protect yourself from feeling anxious. I am not sure if you know this, but struggle in the areas that I specialize in: panic, agoraphobia, Health Anxiety and OCD. That’s quite remarkable. I have effective programs available to help you regain your independence. I am also available daily in my community (WarmHeart Hub) to guide you. If you would like to contact me, you may do so at paigepradko.com. I hope to help you regain your confidence and peace of mind.
Ma'am, kindly make more videos on monophobia/autophobia and social anxiety disorders. You are effectively address our concern which is not available here.
Glad that I hit a topic that interests you.
Sitting here looking at you tube. Seen your video. It’s a good time to be grateful. I’m doing great. Four years of suffering from ptsd. What a trip that was. I’m doing great! Thank you for chatting with me at times here on your channel at times. My brain and nervous system was mess, and your videos helped in tuff moments. Just dropping in to say thank you. I’m sure I’ll thank you again , and again in the future.
What an awesome and wonderful comment to read. Thank you Michael. I appreciate it. We can mutually appreciate each other. I am glad that my videos have helped at times. Please drop in to say hello anytime. ❤️
Thank you so much for addressing this. I feel hopeful everytime I watch your videos.
You are so welcome. Thank you for watching, Raj. ❤️
Hi Paige
I have been suffering from health anxiety for over 2 years and I have a heart arrhythmia which makes me afraid of being on my own. Unfortunately I’m now single and I’m terrified of having an episode especially at night and it triggers my anxiety so much. I live my life in complete fear which is making me so depressed.
I am sorry that you are having to deal with this. If you have had your arrhythmia checked out and have been told it is not dangerous, then you will have to find a way to change your thinking to interpret them as not dangerous or harmful. What that means is that you will need to work on tolerating discomfort. There is a big difference between tolerating discomfort and dealing with something that you have been told is very dangerous. Work on your thinking and your mental interpretation of what you are dealing with. And then, there are techniques that can help you if these are exacerbated by anxiety and stress. If you need help, I cover how to do those techniques in my health anxiety and panic course bundle at paigepradko.com.
If you would like help specifically with the fear of being alone, I cover that treatment along with cardiophobia in my new agoraphobia course that will be available in February. If you would like more information on that course, you may join my newsletter at paigepradko.com
Omg that sounds awful I too hate being alone as I suffer with anxiety I’m scared of hearing noises seeing stuff in my home and having derealisation and not being able to bring myself out of it because I’m alone
Thank you :(
🙏 😢
I am like this. My husband is my safe person. I stopped driving some years ago and will not go anywhere with out my husband. I have to overcome this. When he goes places other than work I overthink it and I will have panic attacks. Can you help me with this.? Thank you
I am sorry you are facing this. You are not alone. I include treatment for this condition in my agoraphobia program. You may sign up for my newsletter at paigepradko.com and I will notify you when I launch the program in February.
Thank you
I am the same!
Could you do a video about the fear of dementia? My mother is 61 yo and sort of convinced that she has it although there is no real evidence. I would like to help her.
That is a good suggestion. I bet there are many with that fear. You are so kind to ask for a video to help your mother.
Hi! Could you please do more videos on shame and its relationship to social anxiety.
How can I let go of feeling shameful not good enough ..?
Yes. That subject interests me as well. I do believe that shame avoidance begins due to early childhood trauma. It is so painful. Understanding that it is trauma and having compassion for yourself while facing socially anxious situations is so important. ❤️
Can you do a video about Tinnitus caused by anxiety and how to deal with it.. thanks 🙏🏼
There is an excellent book called Meditation for tinnitus. It helped me tremendously.
@@Sereneis ok I'll look into it, thank you for the information 🙏🏼
@@Sereneis Hi ! Do you have more info, what author ? Thanks
Great suggestion. 😊
@@Sereneis Why not taking 5 more seconds to specify the author ????
I get this too I’m 61 and hate being left alone. My husband is going abroad and I have to stay alone in my house I’ve been getting derealisation too from stress and feel sick to my stomach I’ve no idea how I’m going to get through it and feel absolutely ridiculous I’ve suffered this since a child
I’m so sorry that you are dealing with this. If you need help and support, please feel free to reach out to me at paigepradko.com
Does autophobia cause sadness?I have this issues along with health anxiety and now I feel unexplained sadness nothing makes me happy
I am so sorry. Sadness is an emotional experience that can come and go naturally. If it persists over a few weeks and nothing you do seems to make a difference, you will want to seek help and evaluation from a therapist.
doctor.....my story started with an anxiety symptom which was sweating i hated being seen sweaty so i started having that resistance obver it until it git worst and worst i went to a psychiatric and after coming back i felt like the whole family was now judging me by thinking am a weirdo i started having this attitude with everyone so i can protect me from seen weak or weird unti the days where i started having fights with my sister and suddenly everything is triggering....and now whenever i talk to a someone am in my head my minds blank and i won't have any personality...and I'd go back to my room and feel the guilt of turning to this unconscious creature.... it's probably social anxiety but even with family members i don't feel peace at all cuz they started noticing it .....i lost focus lost track of what am doing cuz outside feels as worst as the inside i really really need your help doctor...the feeling of weakness and shame didn't leave me since 4years ago from that incident....and i am disconnected the whole day lost 6kg cuz my stomach just can't and I can't even tell this to my family cuz they'd see me as that weak and crazy creature that everyone in the family is normal and i had to go to a psychiatric . please help me please
I am so sorry that you are going through this much stress. You are trying so hard, almost too hard. Please know that none of us are perfect and you do not need to look perfect, sound perfect or be perfect in any way. Please treat yourself with compassion and acceptance because you deserve to be loved and appreciated just for being you.
What could cause this fear to suddenly appear after years of being happy alone?
It’s hard to say. That’s a good question.
@@PaigePradkoTherapy yes, it is!
It’s really effecting me.Iam always afraid being alone.For example: we should build a group and i don’t know anyone there.Or if I join a club ,than I will not have a partner for activities as a group.Has anyone tips for this kind of problem ?
It is difficult and takes self compassion and courage as well to go out into the world as an individual and realize that you can cope.
Hey Paige. You said in an old video of yours about 10 ways to make exposure more effective, that CBT doesnt get rid of old learned neural pathways which can cause relapses. Are there any other therapies thzt works directly to heal those pathways (i was thinking emdr), i would love to hear your opinion, thank you
According to neuroscience research, the original fear neuropathway always remains, no matter what therapy or technique is used to create a bridge of new safety learning that overrides the original established fear. I imagine this function in our brain, to remember our fears and respond instantly with our fear response helped our ancestors to survive. But, we can create those overriding bridges that replace our fear response with a safety response, as long as we keep somewhat active in facing our fears.
@@PaigePradkoTherapy thank you 💯
So inhibitory learning is the tool to avoid relapse i assume
@@freemindsoul, Inhibitory learning theory is research that helps us understand how we learn and retain information. We apply that research to exposure therapy to make our exposures more effective in new learning retention.
@@PaigePradkoTherapy ok thank you, i appreciate your videos and glad i found your channel
I need help to become strong
I always wonder why every type of anxiety is named seprerately. Like, acrophobia, thanatophobia, carcinophobia, etc. Like if you look at all types of anxiety the ultimate fear is PAIN. either psychological or physical.
Like if a person fears height, its not that height is his ultimate fear instead its the "pain" after reaching bottom. And next is fear of death, a person do not fear death instead a person fear the "pain" that comes after death like going to hell etc. So why are all psychotherapists blind in this concept? Why nobody is thinking like this? If they treat fear of pain in all types of anxiety then it will be the best solution. Then why no psychotherapists are doing that? Are they helpless that there is no way to treat fear of pain?
In one sense, I agree with you because fear is fear. But to treat the fear, you do have to understand the specifics of fear. The fear is not always related to physical pain. Often the fear is that something will never stop, or that they might just snap, or that they will be embarrassed or excluded. Fear is fear in the brain. Treatment needs to be specific to what triggers their fear. Fear is not always about physical pain.
I'm afraid of others poor driving, hence, "Auto" phobia😅
😂 Makes sense