I’m so glad that I’m listening to this. I been married almost 19 years I accepted so many things that I was uncomfortable with. Then I excepted men all my life who didn’t bring any value to my life. Now I’m learning to appreciate the woman who God created me to be. Create those boundaries the right man will appreciate that.
I'M WITH U MY SISTA, I'VE BEEN THERE 2 ! NOW I HAVE BEEN SINGLE GOIN ON 8yrs I'M LEARNIN 2 PUT ME 1st. & NOT JUST SETTLE. I KNO IT WILL GET BETTER 4 ME. BC GOD HAS A PLAN 4 ME & AS WELL AS 4 U MY SISTA. & ANYONE ELSE MAN R WOMAN....😇🙏
Respect yourself. Love your self You gotta food yourself before you love respect and feed someone else, cause everyone doesn't mean you well. This message is powerful thanks for the knowledge my people are destroyed because of it This collaborates a little to that Mary j. Blige song love yourself I stated some of her lyrics in my words I spoke if you haven't listen to that song take a minute if you will then you can compare the messages to this stay authentic and true to yourself.
People pleasing never serves anyone I have had too learn that the hard way, if you don’t have boundaries you’ll always be the looser, when you start putting yourself first you’ll get one of two answers a person for life or a lesson for life !
I don’t know how I came across this in my music but man did I need this today. Today this gave me the last bit of strength I needed to leave my husband from the mental, emotional and verbal abuse. I truly feel that my God brought me here. I hope this reaches who it needs to like myself.
I hope you heal and move on and don’t look back. Dont forget who you are and if someone truly loved you they won’t subject you to verbal or mental abuse .
I've never been nice or afraid to walk away and i can tell you, it's a huge blessing. We need to be correct, kind and straight forward. Never think that being a yes woman will make a man or anyone for that matter, love you. They will instead walk all over you. Boundaries get you respected wich is far better than being 'loved'.
Well, maybe I'm a special case. When I was more of a "yes" girl I was more respected, considered a great woman and easy to get along with, I kept quiet, and generally got very good results with my relationships with men (but it was temporary, as we eventually broke up over me establishing boundaries). So the men fell out of love and chose to walk away instead. They saw that I had developed boundaries and I wasn't taking shit behavior anymore. Now, years later when I have more firm boundaries early on, and I ALWAYS all out bad behavior as soon as it starts, the men get more DISRESPECTFUL toward me, they do NOT love me anymore and they choose NOT to change. Now all they do now is DISRESPECT me and call me "too difficult" and say "you're just constantly complaining!" so my relationships always fail. Men don't want to clean up their shitty toxic behavior but I'm the bad guy? FUCK these men. I don't want a man if me wanting to resolve issues and relationship problems means that I'm difficult and unlovable. All they want to do is shut down, NOT communicate, and they lose feelings for me anyway. I just CANNOT win with a man and I'm 42. I give up.
Amen! I used to think something was wrong with me, cause my tolerance was always so low. I would keep people at a distance, and speak up at the first sign of any disrespect. People would tell me I think too highly of myself and no one owes me anything, but I ignored it. I could go on. Long story short, I'm more of a loner with only a few people that understand and accept me. Im 30, Single, no kids, a lot of guys trying and living my best boundary filled life. Guys like me more when I'm a bit mean. Some complain, but they definitely prefer it.
@@Ava_savasame here ! Good for us , our boundaries are what get us respected . Even though I’m hard on guys I remain with boundaries and humble especially because I’m single with no children as well
I did everything that I shouldn’t do, tried to please my husband in every way and after 21 years I lost my marriage and I lost myself. I lived in a mirage with a person who had narcissistic tendencies, I wish I could have listened to this 21 years ago. Our children need to hear this. Thank you so much 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I’m sorry that you had to through that painful experience, may God comfort you and bless you with all that you deserve! Have a Blessed Thanksgiving Holiday.🙏🏾🙏🏾
I am already going through hell with a narcissistic husband. He doesn't even wanna leave. I bought a house with my own money and now he wants me to earn for the family as well. So why do I need a husband. I really wanna get reed of this man. I am trying so hard
I'm sorry you had to endure this pain for so long. I'm four years into this narcissistic marriage and I'm getting out now. Just know that we hear you and are taking actions now to get out. These four years have cost me so much financially, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I'm finally starting to heal and will continue to move forward. Thank you and continue to share your story. I wish you all the best and know God is able to heal/restore. ❤
@@cherylwallace2490Oh please, quit with the God thing. Isn't religion the one demanding that a woman SUBMIT IN EVERYTHING? All the time you are submitting, you are not authentic to yourself
In the Bible, EPHESIANS 5:21 (King James Version), it states that the HUSBAND AND WIFE ARE TO SUBMIT TO EACH OTHER!!! THAT IS WHY YOU HAVE TO KNOW THE WORD FOR YOURSELF, AND NOT BE AGAINST GOD'S WORD. Yes, it does say that a WIFE is to submit to her OWN HUSBAND, BUT, A WIFE IS NOT REQUIRED TO SUBMIT TO HER HUSBAND IF HE IS NOT SUBMITTING UNTO THE LORD, ESPECIALLY IF HE IS NOT LIVING RIGHTEOUSLY AND IN A GODLY MANNER. GOD DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES!! WIVES ARE NOT SLAVES TO THEIR HUSBANDS. AND, IT IS DANGEROUS TO COME AGAINST THE WORD OF GOD, IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE WHOLE TRUTH!! Get the REAL TRUTH, before you make comments. And if you do not know the LORD as your PERSONAL SAVIOR, ask the Lord to SAVE YOU and TEACH you HIS WORD! 🙏❤️
Just be you and just live. Be prepared you may not find anyone though and that's ok. Be thankful for your health and other things in your life like having a bed to sleep on, clean water to drink, and food for your stomach.
I would never belower myself. My intelligrity .My self respect. My Morals. I would rather be alone than to live a lie. Keep God First. In all things you do!!!
Please have a honest conversation with your husband and family ....I wonder if Mrs Keisha Whittaker lost herself during her long marriage to her husband ! Now the poor woman has died prematurely at just 51yrs old ....so sad !
Seriously, just remember, self preservation is the first law of nature. You only get one life there are No do overs. Peace is precious and powerful. ❤❤❤
You're so, so right! They start imagining all sorts of things. Being polite to men, has no positive effects at all. I've done that. Once, I hitchhiked from Norway to Paris, and was offered a sleeping place at at friend of my french Teacher, where I was heading, and the disgusting guy started to touch me! I put my coat & boots, on, caught my sack and ran out in the rain, and down to a metro at St Rue de Michelet, where I found a bench, rested until sunrise, got up & out, found a clean rastafari dressed man, asked him where Gare Du Nord, was, and he followed me, all the way!!!!! So I was protected, in a way, thanks to Creation ❤
I did exactly just that losing myself in the 49 years I gave to him and my children. But finally walked away. Now I have finally got myself again. Thank God
I needed this. I'm in a point in my life where I'm losing friends or seeing their true colors because I've been pushed to a point where I finally have to say No and they are not used to it. I've always been so patient and accommodating. I realized that if I had said No from the first time I didn't want to do something or have said No without worrying about someone else's feelings or emotional reaction I wouldn't have had friends like this in the first place. Now everything is blowing up, but I'm ready to move on and start saying No just because I feel like it, I don't need an excuse to say No me existing and being my own person with my own rights is excuse enough. NO one is entitled to my Yes and I'm not walking on eggshells anymore. I'll have to learn to catch myself when I start accommodating to avoid people's negative emotions but here's to a new era of No. A new era of self respect and boundaries. Good riddance to those who don't respect that because that means they don't respect me and quite frankly I'm tired of it!
Know my worth and I am true to myself. Like Maria Shriver once said, a woman should have her own act together, to the point that "a man is just icing on the cake." No time for Mr. Wrong, Mr. Right at the Moment or Mr. Halfway Right, just Mr. Right.
I'm so glad I came on UA-cam to listen to music I ran right into this I needed to hear..I am that woman that always put everybody needs before my own. Thank you Denzel for speaking this, now I know wat I have to do to put me first nd put boundaries in my life..30 yrs I been doing this, time for change.. ❤❤❤
Normalize leaving when someone mistreats you. Usually when someone leaves its because they got what they wanted and the guy is off to the next. Real people that are hurt they leave when they're tired of being hurt and they won't keep tolerating bs and they're ok with being alone its better to be alone sometimes
I finally released marriage of 30 years because respect wasn't a part of the marriage. I will no longer tolerate disrespectful behavior. We teach people how to treat us.
Just had a discussion about being a good person v a nice person. Boundaries are more for the self than others. YOU are your leader in this life; not others. Being authentic scares people bc it reflects how much they are not... as well as other aspects of you that they are not.
every woman needs to hear this so incredibly true. My first bully in my life was my father, Im middle aged now climbing out of decades of what choosing abusive terrible men has done to my life. I was raised to be a victim but I am growing out of it.
May I add that we need to see that true validation comes from God. Becoming rock solid in our relationship with Him helps us not seek validation in other places.
I'm in my 40s and just sent this to a friend in her 20s having difficulty with conflict resolution in her relationship. I wish I had this message in my 20s, really helpful message ❤
I believe most women, including myself, already know in their own heart their worth! A little boost is sometimes needed to activate that lesson of self value recognition! It all depends on how long it takes to realize it! It’s amazing that I am a licensed Biblical Counselor, who has helped so many people - including my husband, and forgot about myself! I’m sad lately, because time went by so fast - now what!
in 2024 i’ve learned my boundaries are more than normal and okay to have and to stand by . I’ve also learned my true value ; i’ve learned just because i’m with someone doesn’t mean i have to continue on just because of the time i’ve given to the relationship. I’ve learned i respect myself too much to be mistreated.
I burnt out of settling and what little left of me is leftover I hope I can start repairing all the damage. I just hope it doesn't take to long but I don't mind dying without finding true happiness with someone, just as long as I eventually find true happiness within myself.
True happiness comes fro. Within. No human being can make you happy because we all are limited. Make yourself happy no one or tbing can make you happy..🎉🎉🎉❤
😂I am in Jamaica. Thank you very much for this. Being a widow I thought I need a companion. I later realize that it is a one way street. I now spend more time looking after myself. I now spend my time and resources to help the needy. God bless you.
I too live in Jamaica. Girlfriend, if your life is going SMOOTH & STRESS-FREE..Don't try and complicate it with wanting a man. We already know what that will look like..If you're at peace in this moment at this time..Leave it as is.. I've been single 5years and I see it hard to change it because of the peace I feel alone. I choose this, truth is, it's not hard to get a man- but to get a GOOD ONE, who's Loyal and Monogamous is where it gets tricky and hard..A lot of men out there are energy Vampires..They drain your Energy & everything else then you start losing yourself & the peace you once had before you allowed him into your life. The Games they play, the Cheating etc - you name it.. Unless you are fully prepared to mess up your life as it is now , and to know that man will now be a LIABILITY, then you can pursue that. If not, work on yourself, your Fitness, Travel, Start a Garden, do things you really love etc..Love on yourself and just bask in your peace and happiness (I'm hoping you are happy) and thumbs up on helping the less fortunate...🎉
Man if I had only come across this video in my 20s. I’d love to believe I would have taken the advice, but I honestly probably wouldn’t have. This word hits harder when you have the experience to compare notes with. I think though if I was hearing these things from my father growing up as a young girl that would have changed everything. But alas, I’m grateful for the lessons and even more grateful that I’m better because of them. Glory to God ❤
I prayed to work with Denzel Washington and my prayers have been answered he's training me up and I needed a father and God you have sent me Denzel and he's showing me the way to do things thank you for feeding me Lord thank you Mr Washington❤❤❤
I've been dating for 12 years I didn't know my worth and value and thus attracted the wrong guys. I'm 28 a single mom I'm glad now I know I'm beautiful and know my worthiness of being loved right.
❤Loved the idea that the "right man will be drawn to authenticity." ❤Loved "boundaries are not just about saying no but, about saying yes ... testament to your strength."❤
This made me cry, like real hard... It tuched my heart harder then I would ever believe 🙏🏼 that only means that I have to start thinking about me sometimes…. Can’t remember last time I actually did take care of anything that I cared about, whiteout making my other half /bestfriend or just friends make the choice even though I didn’t agree 100% … feels like I have lost myself in everybody else 😞 And that’s actually CRAZY too think about. I was so strong minded and stood proudly by my own words and actions. But now… I just agree…. Don’t have the energy to stand up for myself anymore. I have been so soooo unlucky with the boys I ended up with. They destroyed me ,my soul , that always smiled!! Always!! But luckily I still believe in karma 🙏🏼🙌🏼 And yes, it’s time to start taking care of me again, If I want a life that can bring me happiness and peace again 🙏🏼💝 Amen 🙏🏼 Sending all my love and support to all my fellow women out there!! We really need to stay strong, in every situation!! If not- they =(boys/menn) will take over every daily routine/life you guys have together.. so so sad, but sorry, it’s true. Been there done that. To many times now. But enough times to understand that I need to take back my pride and respect for myself, not just for me, but for my child ,family and friends 🙏🏼 Love u all!!
It was meant for me to run into this UA-cam video its that's what I needed to hear in this time that I'm going through at this moment I've been in a situation to where I lost myself found myself and then lost myself again because I allow someone to have that extreme power over me the real me has returned and I have returned to the unapologetically mean I need no validation from anyone I am me and this is who I am like it don't like it I really don't give a damn as long as I'm walking through life in my authenticity nothing else matters to me being myself is a freedom that only I can give myself
I thank God I ran into this!!!! Boundaries are staples to respect. Love yourself first before you can extend over. “You can’t pull from an empty cup”😮 -- Now that was deep!!!
This is so powerful, all this time I wanted one if only just one person to accept me, I wanted this so badly I was accepting the minimum from men . I give so much for them to leave, always believing something was wrong with me.. even before listening this I was crying about a confusing relationship I am currently in, I feel like am settling and I struggle with accepting I deserve better
But the crazy thing is im nice to everyone so when a mfr cross me you’re cut off so imma continue to be nice im not explaining myself to no one who took my kindness for weakness
@@kezocean32sey I dont like that new bulshit boundries stories.. how come when I was little I didnt have to have it... people were nice by nature and so much more empatetic
I've made these mistakes and learned my lessons! I've learned what my worth is and what I will and will not tolerate!! Love is found within myself first!!
I’ve already told myself I’d be as expressive as can be in whatever relationship I’m going to be in hence forth. Can’t be the only one trying to keep the peace
I work at a fine dining restaurant. My guest are arrogant millionaires have low values for women. I get paid to be nice to them. I do my job very well. Sometimes it sucks sometimes it don’t. But what helps me is not giving any thoughts about what they think about me. Knowing that I get paid to exist at that restaurant and that my simple life truly makes me happy. Working at the restaurant has made me realize what is important and what I want in a life partner. 😊 it’s been an eye opening experience.
I was married for 23 years in a toxic relationship that I tried to fix until I realized I was losing my true self. I got out of that and started to get myself back to the person I was, it has been a long process, God Bless you for this information.🎉🎉🎉🎉
Denzel, thank you so much. I'm so happy that I came across this. You were talking about me. Everything you said, I have done in my marriage to my husband of 20 years. The way he acts towards me now is due to me accepting things that I do not agree with or accept. And I acted like I did. I WILL NOT accept certain things he may say just to please him . I've lost myself in this marriage. The woman I have become, is not the woman I was. If he can't accept my honesty and how I feel about certain things, then oh well. I will say how I really feel, and I will LOVE ME more instead of trying to please him by agreeing and saying what he wants to hear. It's about my SELF-LOVE and setting those boundaries. Time for me to take control of me. I respect him but I need to set those boundaries with myself and start SELF LOVING ME. I AM WORTHY and I ACCEPT MYSELF!
One thing I can always appreciate about the universe is divine timing. I’ve been on a new journey the past couple years after leaving a 7 year relationship. I’ve been doing a lot of internal work and I’m so grateful to have come across this video. I really needed to hear this, this morning.
Thank you. Denzel for teaching me and all the women about not being nice to men but being firm with men and setting boundaries that men will respect us as a women. If a man dont respect our boundaries we must walk away quietly. Like you said, as women, we must have boundaries and value our worthy as women.
💯 It works the other way too! I can't tell you how many times I've gone on a few dates with men who are really interesting and have vibrant, active lives. Within just a few dates they start giving up things they live doing so they can spend time with me, doing the things i love instead. That is always such a turn off to me and I'm no longer interested in them.
I totally and completely agree with that comment about every girl needing to listen to that speech by Denzel before they turn 30. Hell had I heard this before I hit 30 21 yrs ago it would have kept me from wasting A LOT OF TIME, ENERGY AND EMOTIONS ON RELATIONSHIPS THAT WERE NEVER GOING ANYWHERE, BUT DOWNHILL.
I listened to this 4 times! My Goodness this Brings me so much Peace and Happiness Because I used to Always Force relationships. I was Afraid to lose people Especially Men. I pray This Video Brings You All Peace and Happiness!❤
This is really 100% true. I am learning from all of your pod casts. God is using you. Maybe you need to go to High Schools and say this. Girl's need to hear this early in life.
Amen❤🙏, Nothing around us changes until something within us changes. We must learn to stop accepting the unacceptable because we've become comfortable with the worst-case scenario of being an afterthought, someone's doormat, and settling for breadcrumbs and mediocrity in how others treat us and how we see and treat ourselves. If you're the only one continually stepping up and bringing to the table, it's time to let those people go, trusting God to bring you and the right connections together, whether professionally or personally. Don't dim your lights and lose yourself any longer trying to be seen or heard, valued, and respected by others who have shown you that they really couldn't care less about you.
Wow, so many women in marriages for decades saying they did the complete opposite of what this video is saying. As a girl in my early 20s, I’m taking so many notes. 😊😅
Absolutely love the message in this video! It's so refreshing to hear that authenticity and setting boundaries are key to meaningful relationships. This speech truly inspires self-confidence and self-worth! ❤❤❤
That was me for a year of dating. Not only did he require me to call him first but he demanded it. I even had to invite myself to his house and when I do he made jokes that I must have been 'horny'. I have to reach out first when we have issues and he won't tell me what I did wrong. Then I stopped calling and and only say hi when we meet at work. He was aloof at first but now I sense respect for me in his demeanor now but he's still too arrogant to reach out. I'm happy for the breakup as I met someone better.
Don't you ever and I do mean ever let a man make a joke of you like that again!! When u bow down to a man like this, he'll lose respect for you and never truly love you!! He'll have you doing all kinds of things and you'll hate yourself for it! Young lady know your worth always and I'm glad that you have a good relationship now
Yes I regret bending over backwards for a man, it's hard because I like being nice to people, it hurts to hurt people but I'm realizing I need to love myself too. When I was 18 I met a guy like that but he wouldnt even let me into his house. We could only meet in secret locations, he lied about his name, job, etc. he was homeless I'm 19 he was 27 and he needed a place to stay and so he moved in with me though I said no. He wouldn't leave he then started taking control of everything, he took all of my money, drove my car so I was left without a car, would eat all of my food and he says horrible things to me and laughs. He got me pregnant and became even more controlling . I couldn't even walk outside most days without his permission. I couldn't wear pants, or dye my hair or paint my nails. Without getting cussed out , he told me he was cheating on me all the time and would go hang out with other women while at work. I can't trust what a man is doing why I'm at work and he's hanging bout with attractive Women all day lol all of my money went to him which I was happy about because I still thinking we're in love . But really never felt he was the right man for me, but I can't leave though because we are married with a son but he has always treated me disrespectfully, when I didn't stop him in the beginning. He says women are stupid for trusting men so much, and getting in to cars with strange me etc when something bad happens like (rape) it should be a learning lesson. So I realized he is right as women if we let strange men we don't know come into our space we can't hollar victim when bad things happen. when you see those bad traits best to end it there instead of waiting to be stuck with someone who doesn't respect you or love you .
Boundaries keep toxic people away which is perfect
So true
“When you are constantly being nice you dilute your essence”❤
🙌🙏
Every young woman needs to listen to this before they turn 30
Before they start dating.
I've ALWAYS been HONEST!
Right on time I’ll be 30 in February, I really needed this
Amen 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
@@sandrafreeman515That’s literally what OC said
I’m so glad that I’m listening to this. I been married almost 19 years I accepted so many things that I was uncomfortable with. Then I excepted men all my life who didn’t bring any value to my life. Now I’m learning to appreciate the woman who God created me to be. Create those boundaries the right man will appreciate that.
So true! God Bless You 🙏
I'M WITH U MY SISTA, I'VE BEEN THERE 2 ! NOW I HAVE BEEN SINGLE GOIN ON 8yrs I'M LEARNIN 2 PUT ME 1st. & NOT JUST SETTLE. I KNO IT WILL GET BETTER 4 ME. BC GOD HAS A PLAN 4 ME & AS WELL AS 4 U MY SISTA. & ANYONE ELSE MAN R WOMAN....😇🙏
👏👏
@@tiffwast3223 GOD Bless You Dear 🙏
Respect yourself. Love your self
You gotta food yourself before you love respect and feed someone else, cause everyone doesn't mean you well. This message is powerful thanks for the knowledge my people are destroyed because of it
This collaborates a little to that Mary j. Blige song love yourself I stated some of her lyrics in my words I spoke if you haven't listen to that song take a minute if you will then you can compare the messages to this stay authentic and true to yourself.
This is true for all relationships, not only for couples
Indeed.
Yup
Facts…especially at work!
AllOne=Alone, the Other is You pushed out. Love Other as Self. Shadow, Light, neither exists without other. Centeredness is the Way.
People pleasing never serves anyone I have had too learn that the hard way, if you don’t have boundaries you’ll always be the looser, when you start putting yourself first you’ll get one of two answers a person for life or a lesson for life !
Love your name...Nina Turner❤❤❤
@ yours too Nina Westlake 💕
: And there it is. ❤🎉😊
Well said
This is good
I don’t know how I came across this in my music but man did I need this today. Today this gave me the last bit of strength I needed to leave my husband from the mental, emotional and verbal abuse. I truly feel that my God brought me here. I hope this reaches who it needs to like myself.
I hope you heal and move on and don’t look back. Dont forget who you are and if someone truly loved you they won’t subject you to verbal or mental abuse .
Much love and power to you ❤
Much love, knew you’d read it🥹
I am proud of you
Yes Queeeen👸🏾
I've never been nice or afraid to walk away and i can tell you, it's a huge blessing. We need to be correct, kind and straight forward. Never think that being a yes woman will make a man or anyone for that matter, love you. They will instead walk all over you. Boundaries get you respected wich is far better than being 'loved'.
Amen and Amen
The truth shall set you free ❤❤ pow 💥 Amen 🙏🏾
Well, maybe I'm a special case. When I was more of a "yes" girl I was more respected, considered a great woman and easy to get along with, I kept quiet, and generally got very good results with my relationships with men (but it was temporary, as we eventually broke up over me establishing boundaries). So the men fell out of love and chose to walk away instead. They saw that I had developed boundaries and I wasn't taking shit behavior anymore. Now, years later when I have more firm boundaries early on, and I ALWAYS all out bad behavior as soon as it starts, the men get more DISRESPECTFUL toward me, they do NOT love me anymore and they choose NOT to change. Now all they do now is DISRESPECT me and call me "too difficult" and say "you're just constantly complaining!" so my relationships always fail. Men don't want to clean up their shitty toxic behavior but I'm the bad guy? FUCK these men. I don't want a man if me wanting to resolve issues and relationship problems means that I'm difficult and unlovable. All they want to do is shut down, NOT communicate, and they lose feelings for me anyway. I just CANNOT win with a man and I'm 42. I give up.
Amen! I used to think something was wrong with me, cause my tolerance was always so low. I would keep people at a distance, and speak up at the first sign of any disrespect. People would tell me I think too highly of myself and no one owes me anything, but I ignored it. I could go on. Long story short, I'm more of a loner with only a few people that understand and accept me. Im 30, Single, no kids, a lot of guys trying and living my best boundary filled life. Guys like me more when I'm a bit mean. Some complain, but they definitely prefer it.
@@Ava_savasame here ! Good for us , our boundaries are what get us respected . Even though I’m hard on guys I remain with boundaries and humble especially because I’m single with no children as well
“Be honest about what you want!!!!”
I did everything that I shouldn’t do, tried to please my husband in every way and after 21 years I lost my marriage and I lost myself. I lived in a mirage with a person who had narcissistic tendencies, I wish I could have listened to this 21 years ago. Our children need to hear this. Thank you so much 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I’m sorry that you had to through that painful experience, may God comfort you and bless you with all that you deserve! Have a Blessed Thanksgiving Holiday.🙏🏾🙏🏾
I am already going through hell with a narcissistic husband. He doesn't even wanna leave. I bought a house with my own money and now he wants me to earn for the family as well. So why do I need a husband. I really wanna get reed of this man. I am trying so hard
I'm sorry you had to endure this pain for so long. I'm four years into this narcissistic marriage and I'm getting out now. Just know that we hear you and are taking actions now to get out. These four years have cost me so much financially, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I'm finally starting to heal and will continue to move forward. Thank you and continue to share your story. I wish you all the best and know God is able to heal/restore. ❤
@@cherylwallace2490Oh please, quit with the God thing. Isn't religion the one demanding that a woman SUBMIT IN EVERYTHING? All the time you are submitting, you are not authentic to yourself
In the Bible, EPHESIANS 5:21 (King James Version), it states that the HUSBAND AND WIFE ARE TO SUBMIT TO EACH OTHER!!! THAT IS WHY YOU HAVE TO KNOW THE WORD FOR YOURSELF, AND NOT BE AGAINST GOD'S WORD. Yes, it does say that a WIFE is to submit to her OWN HUSBAND, BUT, A WIFE IS NOT REQUIRED TO SUBMIT TO HER HUSBAND IF HE IS NOT SUBMITTING UNTO THE LORD, ESPECIALLY IF HE IS NOT LIVING RIGHTEOUSLY AND IN A GODLY MANNER.
GOD DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES!! WIVES ARE NOT SLAVES TO THEIR HUSBANDS.
AND, IT IS DANGEROUS TO COME AGAINST THE WORD OF GOD, IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE WHOLE TRUTH!! Get the REAL TRUTH, before you make comments.
And if you do not know the LORD as your PERSONAL SAVIOR, ask the Lord to SAVE YOU and TEACH you HIS WORD! 🙏❤️
Just be you and just live. Be prepared you may not find anyone though and that's ok. Be thankful for your health and other things in your life like having a bed to sleep on, clean water to drink, and food for your stomach.
I would never belower myself. My intelligrity .My self respect. My Morals. I would rather be alone than to live a lie. Keep God First. In all things you do!!!
: Amen. ❤🙏
Absolutely🎉
Intelligrity huh? Love that lol.
I value my intelligrity
*Devalue
This wisdom isn't just a one way thing: between a man and woman. It transcends even friendship, acquaintances etc. Very happy I watched this.
I wish I got this message 3 decades ago
The time you get a message is always the perfect time for YOU.
Never 2 late
♥️🫂♥️Me too
I've been married 21 years, and this breaks my heart because this is me. I've lost me and now I'm looking for her this will take time. Thanks!
Please have a honest conversation with your husband and family ....I wonder if Mrs Keisha Whittaker lost herself during her long marriage to her husband ! Now the poor woman has died prematurely at just 51yrs old ....so sad !
You can do it. The best to you always❤
Thank you so nice to hear
I need to save this
"GOD got situation"❤
Seriously, just remember, self preservation is the first law of nature. You only get one life there are No do overs. Peace is precious and powerful. ❤❤❤
Listen.. I’ve wasted so much time trying pleas others blah blah…. No more! I’m standing tall to who I am!
Yes yes ND amen......
That’s a very good decision ❤❤❤
You're so, so right! They start imagining all sorts of things. Being polite to men, has no positive effects at all. I've done that. Once, I hitchhiked from Norway to Paris, and was offered a sleeping place at at friend of my french Teacher, where I was heading, and the disgusting guy started to touch me! I put my coat & boots, on, caught my sack and ran out in the rain, and down to a metro at St Rue de Michelet, where I found a bench, rested until sunrise, got up & out, found a clean rastafari dressed man, asked him where Gare Du Nord, was, and he followed me, all the way!!!!! So I was protected, in a way, thanks to Creation ❤
I did exactly just that losing myself in the 49 years I gave to him and my children. But finally walked away. Now I have finally got myself again. Thank God
@@carmenlucio483 wow! And I thought I stayed too long. Glad you found yourself… no matter how long it took!
❤❤
🥂👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
I needed this. I'm in a point in my life where I'm losing friends or seeing their true colors because I've been pushed to a point where I finally have to say No and they are not used to it. I've always been so patient and accommodating. I realized that if I had said No from the first time I didn't want to do something or have said No without worrying about someone else's feelings or emotional reaction I wouldn't have had friends like this in the first place. Now everything is blowing up, but I'm ready to move on and start saying No just because I feel like it, I don't need an excuse to say No me existing and being my own person with my own rights is excuse enough. NO one is entitled to my Yes and I'm not walking on eggshells anymore. I'll have to learn to catch myself when I start accommodating to avoid people's negative emotions but here's to a new era of No. A new era of self respect and boundaries. Good riddance to those who don't respect that because that means they don't respect me and quite frankly I'm tired of it!
Good for you! I'm starting to do the same thing.
💯
“Who hasn’t earned it” IS SO KEY. 🔑
When you clearly communicate what you will and will not accept you are not being difficult, you’re being clear and clarity is powerful. Love this.
Know my worth and I am true to myself. Like Maria Shriver once said, a woman should have her own act together, to the point that "a man is just icing on the cake." No time for Mr. Wrong, Mr. Right at the Moment or Mr. Halfway Right, just Mr. Right.
So on point! Value yourself! Self worth is everything. If you don’t value yourself properly, how can you value anyone else?
I have to set boundaries with some friends who are negative and controlling.
Same here
I literally went through this in my last situation... I hate myself for that . Looking back that man had zero respect for anything I ever wanted
I'm so glad I came on UA-cam to listen to music I ran right into this I needed to hear..I am that woman that always put everybody needs before my own. Thank you Denzel for speaking this, now I know wat I have to do to put me first nd put boundaries in my life..30 yrs I been doing this, time for change.. ❤❤❤
Normalize leaving when someone mistreats you. Usually when someone leaves its because they got what they wanted and the guy is off to the next. Real people that are hurt they leave when they're tired of being hurt and they won't keep tolerating bs and they're ok with being alone its better to be alone sometimes
Amen to that ❤️🙏❤️
It is normal! Especially in this day and age, a lot of women just stay and put up with crap because THEY WANT To! It's always been normalized
Yup
I finally released marriage of 30 years because respect wasn't a part of the marriage. I will no longer tolerate disrespectful behavior. We teach people how to treat us.
This so use to be me a couple of years ago. Then GOD sent me a true gift, a young man that saw me beyond the physical. 💙💙💙
Not really Denzel speaking but makes sense to put out motivational content with his voice using AI. Whoever wrote the script did good 👍🏼
Did he agree though?
35 years of experience with narcissist , ty very much for opening my eyes ❤
How did you even deal with him for 35 years. Amazing
Great message!! 2024 was the year of me acknowledging my self worth and setting boundaries!! I feel as if I’ve taken my power back!! Thank you God!
Amen Enough! let the wrong man go & wait for the right man God will send him.
God will NEVER send a good man. He will send a domineering man who wants SUBMISSION
Just had a discussion about being a good person v a nice person. Boundaries are more for the self than others. YOU are your leader in this life; not others. Being authentic scares people bc it reflects how much they are not... as well as other aspects of you that they are not.
I SHARED THIS WITH MY DAUGHTERS, NEICES...AND TOLD THEM TO LISTEN TO THIS EVERY DAY..THANK YOU...
every woman needs to hear this so incredibly true. My first bully in my life was my father, Im middle aged now climbing out of decades of what choosing abusive terrible men has done to my life. I was raised to be a victim but I am growing out of it.
Thank God🎉🎉🎉🎉❤
This explains what I decided at 22. Then came the man I was looking for. He liked me as I wanted to be known. That was 41 years ( and 5 sons) ago. 😊
Omgg I love this for you. I’m 26 and claiming I find someone who loves me for my authentic self
I love love this for you❤❤
Let Me Tell You Denzel you are reaching so many Hearts and that's a good thing! 💗
It’s AI, it’s not Denzel
@speaktruthpeace1612 Really ❗
@@speaktruthpeace1612how do you know this. May I ask ?
May I add that we need to see that true validation comes from God. Becoming rock solid in our relationship with Him helps us not seek validation in other places.
Amen 🙏
I'm in my 40s and just sent this to a friend in her 20s having difficulty with conflict resolution in her relationship. I wish I had this message in my 20s, really helpful message ❤
I believe most women, including myself, already know in their own heart their worth! A little boost is sometimes needed to activate that lesson of self value recognition! It all depends on how long it takes to realize it! It’s amazing that I am a licensed Biblical Counselor, who has helped so many people - including my husband, and forgot about myself! I’m sad lately, because time went by so fast - now what!
: Your great future is " what's next!"❤🎉🙏
Thank you for your post 💛we forget about ourselves as we nurture and help others 💛
@@gloriousjohnson1807 Thank you!
@@YvetteEngelbrecht So true! Thank you for your comment❣️
@@YvetteEngelbrecht I really appreciate that❣️
in 2024 i’ve learned my boundaries are more than normal and okay to have and to stand by . I’ve also learned my true value ; i’ve learned just because i’m with someone doesn’t mean i have to continue on just because of the time i’ve given to the relationship. I’ve learned i respect myself too much to be mistreated.
I burnt out of settling and what little left of me is leftover I hope I can start repairing all the damage. I just hope it doesn't take to long but I don't mind dying without finding true happiness with someone, just as long as I eventually find true happiness within myself.
True happiness comes fro. Within. No human being can make you happy because we all are limited. Make yourself happy no one or tbing can make you happy..🎉🎉🎉❤
@maritzagrandison5472 Exactly
😂I am in Jamaica. Thank you very much for this. Being a widow I thought I need a companion. I later realize that it is a one way street. I now spend more time looking after myself. I now spend my time and resources to help the needy. God bless you.
An if that person was a Jamaican man they will suck the the life out of you and drain why is that.
I too live in Jamaica. Girlfriend, if your life is going SMOOTH & STRESS-FREE..Don't try and complicate it with wanting a man. We already know what that will look like..If you're at peace in this moment at this time..Leave it as is.. I've been single 5years and I see it hard to change it because of the peace I feel alone.
I choose this, truth is, it's not hard to get a man- but to get a GOOD ONE, who's Loyal and Monogamous is where it gets tricky and hard..A lot of men out there are energy Vampires..They drain your Energy & everything else then you start losing yourself & the peace you once had before you allowed him into your life.
The Games they play, the Cheating etc - you name it..
Unless you are fully prepared to mess up your life as it is now , and to know that man will now be a LIABILITY, then you can pursue that. If not, work on yourself, your Fitness, Travel, Start a Garden, do things you really love etc..Love on yourself and just bask in your peace and happiness (I'm hoping you are happy) and thumbs up on helping the less fortunate...🎉
Facts
Man if I had only come across this video in my 20s. I’d love to believe I would have taken the advice, but I honestly probably wouldn’t have. This word hits harder when you have the experience to compare notes with. I think though if I was hearing these things from my father growing up as a young girl that would have changed everything. But alas, I’m grateful for the lessons and even more grateful that I’m better because of them. Glory to God ❤
I prayed to work with Denzel Washington and my prayers have been answered he's training me up and I needed a father and God you have sent me Denzel and he's showing me the way to do things thank you for feeding me Lord thank you Mr Washington❤❤❤
This is AI generated. DENZEL never said any of this😂
Thank you! I was listening like... is Denzel on crack bc he def has never spoken this fast ever! He also never speaks this long and this much.
this is true and disclosed that the video is significantly edited aka ai but the msg is good so I stuck around lol
I've been dating for 12 years I didn't know my worth and value and thus attracted the wrong guys. I'm 28 a single mom I'm glad now I know I'm beautiful and know my worthiness of being loved right.
❤Loved the idea that the "right man will be drawn to authenticity." ❤Loved "boundaries are not just about saying no but, about saying yes ... testament to your strength."❤
This made me cry, like real hard... It tuched my heart harder then I would ever believe 🙏🏼 that only means that I have to start thinking about me sometimes…. Can’t remember last time I actually did take care of anything that I cared about, whiteout making my other half /bestfriend or just friends make the choice even though I didn’t agree 100% … feels like I have lost myself in everybody else 😞 And that’s actually CRAZY too think about. I was so strong minded and stood proudly by my own words and actions. But now… I just agree…. Don’t have the energy to stand up for myself anymore. I have been so soooo unlucky with the boys I ended up with. They destroyed me ,my soul , that always smiled!! Always!! But luckily I still believe in karma 🙏🏼🙌🏼 And yes, it’s time to start taking care of me again,
If I want a life that can bring me happiness and peace again 🙏🏼💝 Amen 🙏🏼 Sending all my love and support to all my fellow women out there!! We really need to stay strong, in every situation!!
If not- they =(boys/menn) will take over every daily routine/life you guys have together.. so so sad, but sorry, it’s true. Been there done that. To many times now. But enough times to understand that I need to take back my pride and respect for myself, not just for me, but for my child ,family and friends 🙏🏼 Love u all!!
It was meant for me to run into this UA-cam video its that's what I needed to hear in this time that I'm going through at this moment I've been in a situation to where I lost myself found myself and then lost myself again because I allow someone to have that extreme power over me the real me has returned and I have returned to the unapologetically mean I need no validation from anyone I am me and this is who I am like it don't like it I really don't give a damn as long as I'm walking through life in my authenticity nothing else matters to me being myself is a freedom that only I can give myself
I thank God I ran into this!!!! Boundaries are staples to respect. Love yourself first before you can extend over. “You can’t pull from an empty cup”😮 -- Now that was deep!!!
This is so powerful, all this time I wanted one if only just one person to accept me, I wanted this so badly I was accepting the minimum from men . I give so much for them to leave, always believing something was wrong with me.. even before listening this I was crying about a confusing relationship I am currently in, I feel like am settling and I struggle with accepting I deserve better
Worth comes fom within.
But the crazy thing is im nice to everyone so when a mfr cross me you’re cut off so imma continue to be nice im not explaining myself to no one who took my kindness for weakness
Agreed
You 🚶♀️ Got That Right
I feel you! I cant understand this society where they learn us not to be nice... come on people where is this all coming from!
@@saneladomic702it's not about being nice, it's about setting boundaries so that you're not misused.
@@kezocean32sey I dont like that new bulshit boundries stories.. how come when I was little I didnt have to have it... people were nice by nature and so much more empatetic
I've made these mistakes and learned my lessons! I've learned what my worth is and what I will and will not tolerate!!
Love is found within myself first!!
I’ve already told myself I’d be as expressive as can be in whatever relationship I’m going to be in hence forth. Can’t be the only one trying to keep the peace
I thank God My God already knows I'm beyond real
I work at a fine dining restaurant. My guest are arrogant millionaires have low values for women. I get paid to be nice to them. I do my job very well. Sometimes it sucks sometimes it don’t. But what helps me is not giving any thoughts about what they think about me. Knowing that I get paid to exist at that restaurant and that my simple life truly makes me happy. Working at the restaurant has made me realize what is important and what I want in a life partner. 😊 it’s been an eye opening experience.
Do tell what do u want in your life partne😊😊
I needed this. I have made many mistakes with men and family. I'm not sure why I didn't love myself right, but today will be a new day.
This bought me the confirmation i needed that my boundaries are in the right place and it doesn't push people away it brings the right ones closer!❤
Every girl should listen to this at 10,20 and 30. Every 10 years for a reminder ❤
I was married for 23 years in a toxic relationship that I tried to fix until I realized I was losing my true self. I got out of that and started to get myself back to the person I was, it has been a long process, God Bless you for this information.🎉🎉🎉🎉
Thank you for this upload 🤎🤎🤎
Stand tall & the world 🌎 will adjust around you 💎💎💎💎
THISSSSSSSSS‼️💎💎💎 A Word & A Whole Message.. What's UNDERSTOOD Never Need To Be REPEATED Nor EXPLAINED 💯🙏🏾♟️♟️
Denzel, thank you so much. I'm so happy that I came across this. You were talking about me. Everything you said, I have done in my marriage to my husband of 20 years. The way he acts towards me now is due to me accepting things that I do not agree with or accept. And I acted like I did. I WILL NOT accept certain things he may say just to please him . I've lost myself in this marriage. The woman I have become, is not the woman I was. If he can't accept my honesty and how I feel about certain things, then oh well. I will say how I really feel, and I will LOVE ME more instead of trying to please him by agreeing and saying what he wants to hear. It's about my SELF-LOVE and setting those boundaries. Time for me to take control of me. I respect him but I need to set those boundaries with myself and start SELF LOVING ME. I AM WORTHY and I ACCEPT MYSELF!
I dont think this is denzel, but AI
I can appreciate this truth, because I know it's real. Thank you Denzel for this reminder.
Apparently it’s not Denzel talking it’s AI
One thing I can always appreciate about the universe is divine timing. I’ve been on a new journey the past couple years after leaving a 7 year relationship. I’ve been doing a lot of internal work and I’m so grateful to have come across this video. I really needed to hear this, this morning.
Omg! I don’t know how I came across this but .. thank you it’s the message that a lot of over giving women need to hear.
This message is so powerful not just pleasing men people period. The buck stops here.
Thank you Denzel. You are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!!! I received your memo 30 years too late.
Me too 😢
This is AI. Denzel didn't say none of this sh*t. 😂
Boundaries create space and brings healing ❤🙏
Thank you. Denzel for teaching me and all the women about not being nice to men but being firm with men and setting boundaries that men will respect us as a women. If a man dont respect our boundaries we must walk away quietly. Like you said, as women, we must have boundaries and value our worthy as women.
Apparently this isn’t Denzel talking it’s AI
I love this Denzel
Thank you for this
Apparently this is AI not Denzel himself
I grew up with the southern charm mindset. Momma always said if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything!😌
Be authentic in every relationship you have. Be you respectfully.
I value myself ❤
💯 It works the other way too! I can't tell you how many times I've gone on a few dates with men who are really interesting and have vibrant, active lives. Within just a few dates they start giving up things they live doing so they can spend time with me, doing the things i love instead. That is always such a turn off to me and I'm no longer interested in them.
I totally and completely agree with that comment about every girl needing to listen to that speech by Denzel before they turn 30. Hell had I heard this before I hit 30 21 yrs ago it would have kept me from wasting A LOT OF TIME, ENERGY AND EMOTIONS ON RELATIONSHIPS THAT WERE NEVER GOING ANYWHERE, BUT DOWNHILL.
I stand in my Power My Presence is my Gift ❤❤❤ Definitely a Fact for me 😢❤🎉🙏👑
Im very glad to be listening to this. It hits home
I didn’t have my dad growing up. I’m going to take this as fatherly advice
I love Denzel. Such a gentleman with a real heart who tells the truth. Love him.
I listened to this 4 times! My Goodness this Brings me so much Peace and Happiness Because I used to Always Force relationships. I was Afraid to lose people Especially Men. I pray This Video Brings You All Peace and Happiness!❤
I have always loved Denzel, wow hearing him speak helps me to see our real connection. Speak Denzel I agree and love it!
Apparently this isn’t Denzel talking but AI
This is really 100% true. I am learning from all of your pod casts. God is using you.
Maybe you need to go to High Schools and say this. Girl's need to hear this early in life.
Yes, absolutely necessary.
Hallelujah thank you sooooi much for the inspiration speech. I TOTALLY APPRECIATE THIS. YOUR AWESOME
As single lady like hopefully to find love one day . Be real to myself has made me emotional good in many aspects of life
Amen❤🙏, Nothing around us changes until something within us changes. We must learn to stop accepting the unacceptable because we've become comfortable with the worst-case scenario of being an afterthought, someone's doormat, and settling for breadcrumbs and mediocrity in how others treat us and how we see and treat ourselves. If you're the only one continually stepping up and bringing to the table, it's time to let those people go, trusting God to bring you and the right connections together, whether professionally or personally. Don't dim your lights and lose yourself any longer trying to be seen or heard, valued, and respected by others who have shown you that they really couldn't care less about you.
When you nice you nice , it’s not whether you trying to please someone or risking disapproval🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Wow, so many women in marriages for decades saying they did the complete opposite of what this video is saying. As a girl in my early 20s, I’m taking so many notes. 😊😅
Absolutely love the message in this video! It's so refreshing to hear that authenticity and setting boundaries are key to meaningful relationships. This speech truly inspires self-confidence and self-worth! ❤❤❤
Beautifully said. So many people didn't grow up with boundaries, and this is good.
That was me for a year of dating. Not only did he require me to call him first but he demanded it. I even had to invite myself to his house and when I do he made jokes that I must have been 'horny'. I have to reach out first when we have issues and he won't tell me what I did wrong. Then I stopped calling and and only say hi when we meet at work. He was aloof at first but now I sense respect for me in his demeanor now but he's still too arrogant to reach out. I'm happy for the breakup as I met someone better.
Don't you ever and I do mean ever let a man make a joke of you like that again!! When u bow down to a man like this, he'll lose respect for you and never truly love you!! He'll have you doing all kinds of things and you'll hate yourself for it! Young lady know your worth always and I'm glad that you have a good relationship now
Yes I regret bending over backwards for a man, it's hard because I like being nice to people, it hurts to hurt people but I'm realizing I need to love myself too. When I was 18 I met a guy like that but he wouldnt even let me into his house. We could only meet in secret locations, he lied about his name, job, etc. he was homeless I'm 19 he was 27 and he needed a place to stay and so he moved in with me though I said no. He wouldn't leave he then started taking control of everything, he took all of my money, drove my car so I was left without a car, would eat all of my food and he says horrible things to me and laughs. He got me pregnant and became even more controlling . I couldn't even walk outside most days without his permission. I couldn't wear pants, or dye my hair or paint my nails. Without getting cussed out , he told me he was cheating on me all the time and would go hang out with other women while at work. I can't trust what a man is doing why I'm at work and he's hanging bout with attractive Women all day lol all of my money went to him which I was happy about because I still thinking we're in love . But really never felt he was the right man for me, but I can't leave though because we are married with a son but he has always treated me disrespectfully, when I didn't stop him in the beginning. He says women are stupid for trusting men so much, and getting in to cars with strange me etc when something bad happens like (rape) it should be a learning lesson. So I realized he is right as women if we let strange men we don't know come into our space we can't hollar victim when bad things happen. when you see those bad traits best to end it there instead of waiting to be stuck with someone who doesn't respect you or love you .
This is so true, we have been married for 30yrs , we have had our ups & downs, we know our true love and self ❤️
Yes, I needed this Info 'bout 30 years ago! I'm 60; it's a shame just now hearing these very informative Words!!! 😮
Phew he spitting straight flames 🔥
Sharing Sharing SHARING!!!! This is soooo POWERFULLY POWERFILLED!!!! OMG, I LOVE IT! Thanks so much Mr Washington for those most encouraging words❣️
Apparently this isn’t Denzel talking but AI
Thank you, Denzel. Great delivery. I needed to hear every word.
Apparently this isn’t Denzel talking but AI
Thank you for this AI content
I was waiting for someone else to realize odd right because its deceitful
This is perfect timing for me. I needed this. ❤