@@ramonarobinson2491 that’s a good reminder topic also for Lee to explore when he has time because that has given me a huge complex over my adult life and now I’m realizing he was just talking smack- Like that’s fine to talk smack- we all relate to doing that but most of us later tell you we didn’t mean that literally we were just annoyed But they never tell you they were mad. They make you feel shameful about it until you have no clue what to dang wear or how to talk and walk and how to properly make a face when telling a joke otherwise we are being critical It’s crazy but the button is that it truly makes people confused and feel bad because we thought we truly dressed wrong or whatever and if we fixed that one thing… tomorrow they’d approve us.. Then years later you see you never get that approval:(… And then we end up on UA-cam sad af and thank God you all and LEE are hear to care and relate. I love this community and channel and vibe. This feels like more of my type of narcissistic channel group because I assume most of us here with Lee - we WANT AND WILL stay together with these toxic people but we desperately need and want tips on how to deal and forsee and normalize it. The narcs can’t do this but we can. And yes we need a break so we can try to relate to them and make it work but they won’t tell Us Lee you’re so kind doing this for Us If you truly knew the hours and hours the families or spouses or kids spend alone and sad over their comments and tactics It’s lonely and hard and we never show it and also if we did they’d use that as leverage somehow I could go on Couldn’t we all Lee keep doing this work and that is, any topic you explain/ we want to hear You are such a light UA-cam should be laying you because they’re getting tons of attention through YOUR WORK MUCH LOVE TO ALL 2025 coming soon
Their need for control is the reflection of their own insecurities. They hate your friends, your body, your co-workers, your life! They need to destroy everything about you that they can never be. They need you to crave them as air so they can keep it from you to feel alive. It's absolutely sick!
Absolutely 👍🏽…. My husband tried to ruin my friendship with my best friend“ He kept telling me “She’s jealous of you and wants to be you!” He did the same thing with my sister….My sister and my best friend kept telling me “He’s not the one for you!” My sister warned me she said he’s very possessive and in due time he’s going to put his hands on you and told me please be careful! I thought he will never hit me well, I was sadly mistaken…
Your pets, they definitely try to control you by using your pets. Your decency, they know how good natured and forgiving you are. And they will suck it out of you. Sometimes bit by bit. Sometimes in chunks.
They control. your sleep by making noise when you are trying to get rest. They start fights late at night when you are ready to settle down. They also ask why you have gotten up so early , way ahead of them when all we are doing is trying to get a little time alone before the narcissist kills the day. They also put a little twist in it by saying had you stayed in bed you would have gotten some sex knowing that they have been depriving you sexually and would not have done it even if you stayed in bed.
I would get up an hour earlier than I needed so as not to wake him (bc he always had bowel movements when he woke up) and I could have some alone time in the bathroom and he would still get up and come in and infringe on my bathroom time, smoking, defecating etc. like I wasn't in there and he could not understand why I did not want him doing that to me each and every time I was in there , bc after all, everyone ishts, right? Why am I making a big deal about it just bc he's doing it while I'm trying to take a shower? What's more important, his bathroom needs or my desire to have a shower in peace, without smelling his cigarettes and poop? and if it was the latter, then I was selfish bc he can't control when he needs to take a dump. How dare I want or need a little time to myself. Read that again, and you have a picture of how my time was with that narc.
I'm happy that mine withheld physical intimacy. It made me take off the rose color glasses, which caused me to see it for the subpar experience it was. 😂😂😂😂
Or… they can guilt trip you constantly for being the bread winner to convince you to give them free access to your money. If they want to spend it on something you don’t want, they say you don’t love them or are always using the fact that you’re the bread winner against them. It’s crazy.
Totally have this issue too.. so glad you mentioned this also. It’s not just the stress that is the issue.. it’s mainly the crap like intentionally making us broke out of spite.. over a grudge from some fight they believe occurred and it really wasn’t a big fight or deal. Smh wtf 😳
We were dating on and off for 3 years. Tried to leave him many times. Last weekend, We went out for dinner to trying to get me back with him, while make snarky remarks to me at the same time Lol. He ordered only one dish to share because he was not very hungry, but I wanted my own plate because I was hungry but he didn't care. I ended up still hungry and get myself another meal when i got home. Then the next day I texted that I'm not comfortable talking in person about why I'm broke up him, because he would often raise his voice against me or take off every time I point out his bad attitude. So he blocked me after reading that text because I called him off on his behavior. I blocked him back and gone no contact.
❤ Lee! Pam from Detroit, 2 years since our counseling sesh, and I have great news; I moved to a new home, erased all memories of the narcissist! I'm thankful for so much, just had to Thank you for taking me as a client right after the breakup. You're awesome ❤
Lee nailed it when he described that intimacy isn’t solely sex but it’s a hug, a chat on the porch, any of those moments. That’s where my spouse tries to control my feelings by ruining or making those small things such a big deal or drama. He did it an hour ago as I’m writing this. I just said- noted-check- word- whatever you say or believe dawg you go tell it on the mountain boo. I hope after 17 years of marriage you still have a family or friend of ours that has the time to hear about your petty issue with your wife for the day.. Using my sarcasm here- It’s all I have been able to do this holiday season so he doesn’t provoke me into being “mad” and next year I’ll hear how I ruined the holidays blah blah blah 😑 😅👋
When my narcissist told me no to sex One time I broke up with him😂 And he asked me why, I told him Remember in the beginning I said If you start playing games, There's no more us, He was speechless.He Tried to Get me back, but no Contact😂💪 I Was in control now🎯 Moving forward in my best Life💃
This person deserves a trophy because that’s so hard to do and I’m so proud to hear you did that. You’re helping me have faith to oneday be in your vibe and peace:)
My experience with narcisstic financial abuse is that he works and agrees to pay for tuition, sports necessities, dental for our daughter. He'll pay the first few months, but ultimately I am stuck paying for everything after a while. It is a strain, but I will work it out, cause that's what I do. Some part of me feels like he does this because he knows I am not going to let things that need to be paid fall behind.
OMG this is spot on. I am shocked. My ex would do the following : 1. Control through money - he would randomly send me money even when I didn’t ask or he would spend money on me and then later get pissed saying I’m taking advantage of him and when I try to pay him back he refuses or doesn’t give me his bank details 2. Control through food - the only way he was contributing to me and making sure I’m healthy is through buying me food, the minute I stopped chasing and went no contact he went into my food ordering app (without my permission) and deleted his cards. But no, it’s not as simple as that! He did it sporadically and not all at once 3. Intimacy - even if I asked him directly for the bare minimum like cuddles or a hug he would ignore me or just look at me like I’m asking for something big 4. Time - we could only have calls at his convenience! If I refused he wouldn’t even make an effort to ask me when I’d be free and if I ask for clarification about the time he’d wanna have a call he would say I’m doubting him and don’t trust him and use it as a way to control how I react. Uffff :/
Fear might be another control tactic. I have been smeared by the narcissist and the narcissist even send it to me that he smeared me, he then jokingly said he would ''beat me up'' when we bumped into eachother since I tried everything not to bump into him and he noticed. When I started dating, he set his friends I didn't knew up to talk to me, they gained my trust and then called me names, which made me isolate, feared and not trust to date anymore.
@@ModelValeriaa No problem. I can understand and relate. We've got to have each others' backs. People who haven't experienced narcissistic abuse and their flying monkeys just can't understand. They chip and chip and chip relentlessly at your body, mind and soul until you forget who the hell you are. Rant session: I've been in for 20 years. Just figured out a cpl years ago what i was going thru wasn't just me, i wasn't crazy! Unfortunately now I'm stuck. He caused me to have a stress related heart attack leaving permanent damage, with his routine and often tantrums and rages, a week and a half after i turned 40. Right where he wants me. But i refuse to let him break me completely. I'm working on a plan. No matter how long it takes. As always, a huge thank you to both Dr. Ramani and Lee. I was in a very dark, lonely place when i found them. I'm gaining my strength back and standing my ground more often. Of course the loss of control is driving him literally crazier, more violent even. But he won't leave... yet. If anything happens, I'd rather die trying to live than die bc i gave up and let him beat me 💪Let em all eat rocks!
Lee she’s look adorable in her little skates and you always deserve to be acknowledged for the growth you’ve done by little things like your joy for your daughter and including your wife to your day❤ you’re acknowledging her worth to you both and that’s such proof of the little changes that are so major also and we’re all sooo proud Lee and yall deserve the award for being the leaders in this issue and actually doing something to make it right 🙌🫶💯
Yep, he made me lose my car, my credit and all my money through supporting him. Now I'm stranded, broke and have no credit to get a car. Sucks!! Wow, I wish I knew about narcissism when I was young. My mother refused to allow us to eat certain foods and only allowed us to eat when and what they cooked.
I know exactly what you mean, I wish I knew about narcissism as well. My ex was always jealous of my credit score so he made sure to ruin it. I ended up paying for everything and he would keep on charging my credit cards. I went bankrupt, so he was able to accomplish his goal of ruining my credit and finances. He would also tell me that I’ve gained weight and need to go back to what I looked like when we first met. He would tell me that I shouldn’t eat certain things. He would also withhold sex or would try to force it when I didn’t want it. He also cheated on me so many times and when I saw proof on his phone, he told me I’m crazy that he never cheated. After we broke up he said, “You don’t have anything anymore anyways” also he had the nerve to say I didn’t do anything for him even though I supported him for 2 years and he didn’t pay for anything. I get so upset with myself for allowing all of this to happen. How was I in love with a monster?
Paying attention to their words and actions is enough to let you know what's going on if you're smart. I've had many of them tell me that I make them feel stupid. Hey all I can say is that if the shoe fits, wear it.
yes the demanding intimacy and still cheating! makes you stop trying...and they wonder why. Also the constant facetiming, so they can see what you're up to!
@Mental Healness Lee everything you said was on point! My husband did exactly what you discussed…. He also would deliberately pick an argument with me just to have make up sex… I was mentally and physically drained by his Narcissistic Personality Disorder…My appearance started to change for the worse….
I came here to say happy new year to you Lee Hammock . . . You are truly my favourite . . . And happy new year to all the subscribers . . . I feel like I have learnt all i needed to about narcs and have been healing for the past 2 years . . . My curiosity about narcs has faded and i guess thats a good sign . . . I pray you all recover and transform from survivors to thrivers ❤❤❤❤
Yes, he tried to tell me that I be on FB too much when it was the total opposite 🤣 and would want to be on the phone every minute of the hour. Exhausting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your weight will go up and down from the stress of being with these jokers, but don’t try to lose weight. You’ll get invited out for hibachi with a sushi appetizer for breakfast, lunch and dinner! Then when you do lose weight you won’t get support or praise for your progress!
AND all of those TACTICS FAILED, we are living proof, we are all here!!!! ❤❤❤❤ PLEASE BE SAFE THIS NEW YEARS EVE, don't drink and eat to much and of course enjoy! 2025 here WE COME!!
Maybe I’m just extra emotional today reflecting on all the narcissist put me through, and praying that this year will be a better year for me, but this video made me tear up. It’s not so much the content of the video, but rather seeing how far you’ve come and seeing the love you have for your daughter. I’m one that has been watching you from the start and you should be proud of who you have become! What an accomplishment! Happy New Year, Lee, and thanks for all of the hard work you put in to help us get through this and move on!
He would take sex away, knowing how i felt about it. Like it got to the point of feeling like i had to beg/ ask for it then i wouldn’t even want to. I never understood why it was such a problem of me being attracted to him & only wanted him. Normal thinking person would be glad that their person only wants them. Or he would start a crazy argument just to try to have sex after which i really hated & did understand. Such a turn off & disgusting. I would tell him u get turned on from arguments? its really weird. He would even make me feel uncomfortable by saying im into women (i eat …) and never in my life. I still feel gross by that comment
It's crazy how spot on this stuff is. I was a sahm for the past 20 yrs and he worked but I controlled the money along with the household first thing he started doing was stopping his direct deposit and leaving me without any money to pay bills. He went through like 5 yrs of bank statements claim some how I was stealing from him, he broke the safe and took the savings cash and blew all of it. He took control of the phone account and at one point took my ability to access the account even though he had already left the family phone plan to get his own, thinking that would hide his cheating. We had a 'normal' family for nearly 13 years before he could no longer suppress his insanity. Yes we had a healthy sex life even after nearly 30 years and he withheld those activities... It's absolutely mind blowing to see how spot on this videos are.
Oh and if course this was all my fault he came up with a story about some how I was cheating it took him a few months to solidify the story he was telling, now he has that lie Abt me on lock. When we was younger I fell for this ruse not anymore.
Please do a part 2 of how to understand the “control your time” That’s the only area after 17 years of marriage that he has outsmarted me with. I admit it and truly hope you can give us some insight on how to ignore reacting to our time. Because now he just fights about petty things nonstop Like he already ruined my family and relationships 3 years I haven’t seen my fmaily He’s cheated He’s done all the worst things and I’ve bounced back and rating my kid and were cordial But now he like “won’t leave me alone over little things like my time and suddenly the way i suggested the hard to look is literally his reason to be upset today He does it everyday and I do all the grey rock advice but I need help to know how to predict it or like … I don’t forsee it coming EVER and I just want to squash his last issue with me and then be cool But then the net. Day he has a new issue And now my face gets red and annoyed and now even silence doesn’t work because now it’s my blank face that’s the issue It’s so annoying Give me a good tip Lee PLS on how you’d handle it and not let them see me upset or anything that’ll be used against me tonight or tomorrow
I noticed with my Narcissist he would like to control my time by telling me he will attend a gathering then wait till I get dressed then pretend to find clothing, procrastinate, then tell me once I'm completely dressed and ready to go then say would you be mad if I don't want to go. Then start a debate or argument on how I'm being selfish.
This happen to me cause he was the main bread winner then he got greedy and lost his business and the last few years I was begging for him to give me money for groceries and just basic bills he started refusing to pay but had no problem going on vacations without me all the time he had his new supply … 24 years married .. lost home .. I almost feel like he wanted it to happen
Oh my gosh a food one! This definitely happened to me with my parents. One will say that I’m too skinny when I was a kid so I need to eat more, which I eat a lot and normal when I was a kid! Then would watch me eat until my dish was empty or show them that I ate all my food all up. Then if I didn’t they would get upset so I would feel like I’m walking on eggshells or pressured. Then when my parent gets upset for whatever reason, my parent would say lose some weight even when I didn’t bother them. I remember it never felt good when this happens. Then my other parent would tell me when I told my other parent what I’m eating any food even the healthy ones, the parent would say don’t eat this or that because it could cause any health issues every time. It’s so bad that I didn’t have a choice to no longer tell what I’m eating or make up a story so I can enjoy my food peacefully. Thank Mental Healness for your perspective on this.
A narcissist likes supply to be obsessive about them but how do narcissist view stalkers? Are stalkers seen as ''good supply'' for the narcissist or how do they view a thing like that?
First of all Happy New Year!! May you please do a video on Narc’s breaking up with you during the holidays (or during life changing event’s) and still trying to stick around in your life in other ways. Because they “love you”. After blaming you for everything. Then Calling/ texting/ trying to have access to you. Despite pain that they’ve knowingly caused.
Look at Lees cheek bones show the excitement his daughter brings his heart:) that’s the only real thing narcs lack and it’s so easy to just show the good times too and the joy they feel in between all their mood shifts. Lee keep doing that and remind us that we at keast should see them happy on their own.. not being happy to their spouse which is usually love bombs in disguise and that’s what hurts. But even if they can’t be genuinely happy to us- we still would be content if we could hear like a fly on the wall that they do still like their home and life. That’s just my personal wish and tiny request I wish my husband could do. Just be happy within our home, even if I know he’s mad at me Again, please still be normal and happy so it’s not cortisol moments of passings through the house that make us tired and sad every evening.. I am loving all the comments today and Lee. You get the UA-cam award if there is one for the most engaged discussion that real time made it to Us all at once. So cool:)
It’s funny that you mention that movie Fallen because it reminds me a lot of Narcissist too but not because of the song….because of the Demon that keeps jumping from body to body! This is exactly what I believe is happening with Narcissistic Disordered Individuals! Maybe not all but Definitely some!!💯👁️
Are narcissists able to be happy when they are able to gain a lot of supply during their whole life? So when they have a consistent flow of a lot of supply?
@@ModelValeriaa great question and Lee.. be the pioneer on that question because I’ve never thought it but if somehow even offered a theory on this comment and topic- it’d help!
Lee UA-cam fam- this is my 5th comment on one video it’s so great!! Lee asked us to send in topics to add too and wow, the vibe today within us commenting back and forth and feeling heard. I feel the LOVE FROM YALL❤❤❤❤ I AM IMPRESSED WORH THE POWER THIS CHANNEL BRINGS TOGETHER 😢
Everything, but money was controlled! From all that controlling to absolute opposite to the end could not care less what youre doing, where you are etc...
The not married thing was a huge thing to me not one that I really expressed to him, because I don’t want it being exploited, but I feel like he wants to date forever because he controlled me. Better threaten me with leaving but I’m the one that left now
and by ruining your exercise, they tear away at your confidence and limited coping skills that are healthy. then they call you fat and somehow get mad abt that. now your metabolism is damaged as well!
Hey Lee. So after divorce, my children, with the exception of my son, my three daughters do not talk to me. They actually accuse me of things that their father has done to them and blame it all on me. He still to this day does not have a strong relationship, even though our younger 2 live with his parents, he rarely reaches out to them. But i am the villian the bad person. And their conviction of who they claim for me to be is insane. I don't talk to my three daughters, his parents smear campaigns me along with his fake wife and it is like a sh*t show. I hate it because it looks like they are right because they have all turned on me and dont really know what to do about the situation. Now my question is, could that be his way of controlling them to hurt me. This story goes really deep. So much more. but could he have that kind of power over them unknown to me just to make me suffer. Its at a point that i don't want my younger daughters around. One said that she wanted to kill me. For what I don't know but either way i don't want them around.
Thanks for sharing such valuable information! Just a quick off-topic question: I have a SafePal wallet with USDT, and I have the seed phrase. (alarm fetch churn bridge exercise tape speak race clerk couch crater letter). How can I transfer them to Binance?
Lee - you are also a self HEALED narcissist🙌🫶🍾 you always say youe opening line which we love as self aware narcissist but you are now a graduate student and you’re healed too!! You also care to hear our thoughts which many UA-camrs don’t care when they have a channel but you’re very appreciatiyand intelligent with how we comment so you’re also a researcher and coach. And it’s okay Lee and I’m sure you know this better than me, that narcissist or any personality dysfunctional person may always think and feel those same traits inside- but that is okay to feel it- Lee has shown, we can still choose to act caring or not so vocally upset about it. That’s all people want is to just not have every day of the year be this same intensity with them. Especially the holidays and special moments in life- Christmas I know has l led us all in again to address it today how they control everything. I told my husband to please just not be so vocally upset of his every comment for Christmas pls and he said I won’t and he lied and he did it 4-8 days over this break. Like oh my gosh humans need a break and that could a topic too- “how to make a narcissist just chill and shut up for one party or event or day.. Please can it ever be about the positive things that the day has and not end with the one issue they felt that made the entire day end with us ina “fight” as they call everything that 😳😳😳
Lee she’s look adorable in her little skates and you always deserve to be acknowledged for the growth you’ve done by little things like your joy for your daughter and including your wife to your day❤ you’re acknowledging her worth to you both and that’s such proof of the little changes that are so major also and we’re all sooo proud Lee and yall deserve the award for being the leaders in this issue and actually doing something to make it right 🙌🫶💯
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Guilt trips, gaslighting, and isolation from friends and family are major control tactics of narcissists.
💯
It surely gets worse around holidays ,birthdays , and monumental celebrations or achievements YOU have accumulated .
They also try to control what you wear: your clothes, how you look, the way you wear your hair.
amen.
@@ramonarobinson2491 that’s a good reminder topic also for Lee to explore when he has time because that has given me a huge complex over my adult life and now I’m realizing he was just talking smack-
Like that’s fine to talk smack- we all relate to doing that but most of us later tell you we didn’t mean that literally we were just annoyed
But they never tell you they were mad. They make you feel shameful about it until you have no clue what to dang wear or how to talk and walk and how to properly make a face when telling a joke otherwise we are being critical
It’s crazy but the button is that it truly makes people confused and feel bad because we thought we truly dressed wrong or whatever and if we fixed that one thing… tomorrow they’d approve us..
Then years later you see you never get that approval:(…
And then we end up on UA-cam sad af and thank God you all and LEE are hear to care and relate.
I love this community and channel and vibe.
This feels like more of my type of narcissistic channel group because I assume most of us here with Lee - we WANT AND WILL stay together with these toxic people but we desperately need and want tips on how to deal and forsee and normalize it.
The narcs can’t do this but we can. And yes we need a break so we can try to relate to them and make it work but they won’t tell
Us
Lee you’re so kind doing this for
Us
If you truly knew the hours and hours the families or spouses or kids spend alone and sad over their comments and tactics
It’s lonely and hard and we never show it and also if we did they’d use that as leverage somehow
I could go on
Couldn’t we all
Lee keep doing this work and that is, any topic you explain/ we want to hear
You are such a light
UA-cam should be laying you because they’re getting tons of attention through YOUR WORK
MUCH LOVE TO ALL 2025 coming soon
Yes the clothes for sure!!
Yep😢
Yup, the narcissist I knew control the hairstyle of his supply now he dumped him off like a trash! 🗑️🎉😂
Their need for control is the reflection of their own insecurities. They hate your friends, your body, your co-workers, your life! They need to destroy everything about you that they can never be. They need you to crave them as air so they can keep it from you to feel alive. It's absolutely sick!
Absolutely 👍🏽…. My husband tried to ruin my friendship with my best friend“ He kept telling me “She’s jealous of you and wants to be you!” He did the same thing with my sister….My sister and my best friend kept telling me “He’s not the one for you!” My sister warned me she said he’s very possessive and in due time he’s going to put his hands on you and told me please be careful! I thought he will never hit me well, I was sadly mistaken…
Re-tweet by Lee… “they’re trying to CONTROL YOUR TIME!!!!”
Facts 🙌🔥💯
🙌🏾
FACTS‼️
The look on your face when you show a picture of your daughter on roller 🛼 was priceless! You glowed like the loving and proud parent you are. ❤
Your pets, they definitely try to control you by using your pets.
Your decency, they know how good natured and forgiving you are. And they will suck it out of you. Sometimes bit by bit. Sometimes in chunks.
They control.
your sleep by making noise when you are trying to get rest. They start fights late at night when you are ready to settle down. They also ask why you have gotten up so early , way ahead of them when all we are doing is trying to get a little time alone before the narcissist kills the day. They also put a little twist in it by saying had you stayed in bed you would have gotten some sex knowing that they have been depriving you sexually and would not have done it even if you stayed in bed.
Omfg this is actually scaring me. I’m bewildered by how abusive they are. And it’s so subtle that’s how it gets annoying
I would get up an hour earlier than I needed so as not to wake him (bc he always had bowel movements when he woke up) and I could have some alone time in the bathroom and he would still get up and come in and infringe on my bathroom time, smoking, defecating etc. like I wasn't in there and he could not understand why I did not want him doing that to me each and every time I was in there , bc after all, everyone ishts, right? Why am I making a big deal about it just bc he's doing it while I'm trying to take a shower? What's more important, his bathroom needs or my desire to have a shower in peace, without smelling his cigarettes and poop? and if it was the latter, then I was selfish bc he can't control when he needs to take a dump. How dare I want or need a little time to myself. Read that again, and you have a picture of how my time was with that narc.
I was getting yelled at while I was half asleep the other day not saying a word not doing anything broke my heart
I'm happy that mine withheld physical intimacy. It made me take off the rose color glasses, which caused me to see it for the subpar experience it was. 😂😂😂😂
Oh wow!
That's the snap crackle and pop clap back there😂
instant karma for them lmaoo
Or… they can guilt trip you constantly for being the bread winner to convince you to give them free access to your money. If they want to spend it on something you don’t want, they say you don’t love them or are always using the fact that you’re the bread winner against them. It’s crazy.
Totally have this issue too.. so glad you mentioned this also. It’s not just the stress that is the issue.. it’s mainly the crap like intentionally making us broke out of spite.. over a grudge from some fight they believe occurred and it really wasn’t a big fight or deal. Smh wtf 😳
They will control your future and plans for helping yourself
Spot on!!
And try to ruin them.
🎯🎯🎯
We were dating on and off for 3 years. Tried to leave him many times. Last weekend, We went out for dinner to trying to get me back with him, while make snarky remarks to me at the same time Lol. He ordered only one dish to share because he was not very hungry, but I wanted my own plate because I was hungry but he didn't care. I ended up still hungry and get myself another meal when i got home. Then the next day I texted that I'm not comfortable talking in person about why I'm broke up him, because he would often raise his voice against me or take off every time I point out his bad attitude. So he blocked me after reading that text because I called him off on his behavior. I blocked him back and gone no contact.
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
❤ Lee! Pam from Detroit, 2 years since our counseling sesh, and I have great news; I moved to a new home, erased all memories of the narcissist! I'm thankful for so much, just had to Thank you for taking me as a client right after the breakup. You're awesome ❤
That is awesome!
All intimacy was held. No sex, hug, kiss, hold hands, etc
Lee nailed it when he described that intimacy isn’t solely sex but it’s a hug, a chat on the porch, any of those moments. That’s where my spouse tries to control my feelings by ruining or making those small things such a big deal or drama.
He did it an hour ago as I’m writing this.
I just said- noted-check- word- whatever you say or believe dawg you go tell it on the mountain boo.
I hope after 17 years of marriage you still have a family or friend of ours that has the time to hear about your petty issue with your wife for the day..
Using my sarcasm here-
It’s all I have been able to do this holiday season so he doesn’t provoke me into being “mad” and next year I’ll hear how I ruined the holidays blah blah blah 😑 😅👋
Amen! Thank you!!!!!❤
Why are you still with that idiot?????????
When my narcissist told me no to sex One time I broke up with him😂 And he asked me why, I told him Remember in the beginning I said If you start playing games, There's no more us, He was speechless.He Tried to Get me back, but no Contact😂💪 I Was in control now🎯 Moving forward in my best Life💃
This person deserves a trophy because that’s so hard to do and I’m so proud to hear you did that. You’re helping me have faith to oneday be in your vibe and peace:)
My experience with narcisstic financial abuse is that he works and agrees to pay for tuition, sports necessities, dental for our daughter. He'll pay the first few months, but ultimately I am stuck paying for everything after a while. It is a strain, but I will work it out, cause that's what I do. Some part of me feels like he does this because he knows I am not going to let things that need to be paid fall behind.
OMG this is spot on. I am shocked.
My ex would do the following :
1. Control through money - he would randomly send me money even when I didn’t ask or he would spend money on me and then later get pissed saying I’m taking advantage of him and when I try to pay him back he refuses or doesn’t give me his bank details
2. Control through food - the only way he was contributing to me and making sure I’m healthy is through buying me food, the minute I stopped chasing and went no contact he went into my food ordering app (without my permission) and deleted his cards. But no, it’s not as simple as that! He did it sporadically and not all at once
3. Intimacy - even if I asked him directly for the bare minimum like cuddles or a hug he would ignore me or just look at me like I’m asking for something big
4. Time - we could only have calls at his convenience! If I refused he wouldn’t even make an effort to ask me when I’d be free and if I ask for clarification about the time he’d wanna have a call he would say I’m doubting him and don’t trust him and use it as a way to control how I react.
Uffff :/
@@ChuckyWhisky sounds like he is married.
Fear might be another control tactic. I have been smeared by the narcissist and the narcissist even send it to me that he smeared me, he then jokingly said he would ''beat me up'' when we bumped into eachother since I tried everything not to bump into him and he noticed. When I started dating, he set his friends I didn't knew up to talk to me, they gained my trust and then called me names, which made me isolate, feared and not trust to date anymore.
@@ModelValeriaa I'm so sorry that happened to you 😔 These "people" are just horrible. And hateful. And you didn't deserve any of it.
@@cristolcarol9710 Thank you for your empathy, that means a lot
@@ModelValeriaa No problem. I can understand and relate. We've got to have each others' backs. People who haven't experienced narcissistic abuse and their flying monkeys just can't understand. They chip and chip and chip relentlessly at your body, mind and soul until you forget who the hell you are.
Rant session: I've been in for 20 years. Just figured out a cpl years ago what i was going thru wasn't just me, i wasn't crazy! Unfortunately now I'm stuck. He caused me to have a stress related heart attack leaving permanent damage, with his routine and often tantrums and rages, a week and a half after i turned 40. Right where he wants me. But i refuse to let him break me completely. I'm working on a plan. No matter how long it takes.
As always, a huge thank you to both Dr. Ramani and Lee. I was in a very dark, lonely place when i found them. I'm gaining my strength back and standing my ground more often. Of course the loss of control is driving him literally crazier, more violent even. But he won't leave... yet. If anything happens, I'd rather die trying to live than die bc i gave up and let him beat me 💪Let em all eat rocks!
Controlling what you wear. You can't look too good, so you don't attract attention, but they cover it up as a concern for your safety.
💯💯
Lee she’s look adorable in her little skates and you always deserve to be acknowledged for the growth you’ve done by little things like your joy for your daughter and including your wife to your day❤ you’re acknowledging her worth to you both and that’s such proof of the little changes that are so major also and we’re all sooo proud Lee and yall deserve the award for being the leaders in this issue and actually doing something to make it right 🙌🫶💯
Thank you so much!!
You soooooo damn right Lee!!! He rather get sick then hug me, kiss me, he would choke on the words "l love you".
Yep, he made me lose my car, my credit and all my money through supporting him. Now I'm stranded, broke and have no credit to get a car. Sucks!! Wow, I wish I knew about narcissism when I was young. My mother refused to allow us to eat certain foods and only allowed us to eat when and what they cooked.
I know exactly what you mean, I wish I knew about narcissism as well. My ex was always jealous of my credit score so he made sure to ruin it. I ended up paying for everything and he would keep on charging my credit cards. I went bankrupt, so he was able to accomplish his goal of ruining my credit and finances. He would also tell me that I’ve gained weight and need to go back to what I looked like when we first met. He would tell me that I shouldn’t eat certain things. He would also withhold sex or would try to force it when I didn’t want it. He also cheated on me so many times and when I saw proof on his phone, he told me I’m crazy that he never cheated. After we broke up he said, “You don’t have anything anymore anyways” also he had the nerve to say I didn’t do anything for him even though I supported him for 2 years and he didn’t pay for anything. I get so upset with myself for allowing all of this to happen. How was I in love with a monster?
Paying attention to their words and actions is enough to let you know what's going on if you're smart. I've had many of them tell me that I make them feel stupid. Hey all I can say is that if the shoe fits, wear it.
yes the demanding intimacy and still cheating! makes you stop trying...and they wonder why. Also the constant facetiming, so they can see what you're up to!
@@lorenrisner5228 💯💯💯
@Mental Healness Lee everything you said was on point! My husband did exactly what you discussed…. He also would deliberately pick an argument with me just to have make up sex… I was mentally and physically drained by his Narcissistic Personality Disorder…My appearance started to change for the worse….
I also experienced this with mine. Living with her was spent either fighting or effing (especially, make up sex)
I came here to say happy new year to you Lee Hammock . . . You are truly my favourite . . . And happy new year to all the subscribers . . . I feel like I have learnt all i needed to about narcs and have been healing for the past 2 years . . . My curiosity about narcs has faded and i guess thats a good sign . . . I pray you all recover and transform from survivors to thrivers ❤❤❤❤
My narc his control is sex , family, and time , we do it at least twice a day every day and he still will cheat
Yes, he tried to tell me that I be on FB too much when it was the total opposite 🤣 and would want to be on the phone every minute of the hour. Exhausting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
😅
Your weight will go up and down from the stress of being with these jokers, but don’t try to lose weight. You’ll get invited out for hibachi with a sushi appetizer for breakfast, lunch and dinner! Then when you do lose weight you won’t get support or praise for your progress!
They control "fun" .
And need to be the originator of any fun, if not they get agro and wanna squash it
She’s adorable 🥰
♥️
AND all of those TACTICS FAILED, we are living proof, we are all here!!!! ❤❤❤❤ PLEASE BE SAFE THIS NEW YEARS EVE, don't drink and eat to much and of course enjoy! 2025 here WE COME!!
We must face them head on. Onward without fear!
Your content has been super helpful to me for understanding narcissistic traits and staying no contact with the narcissist in my life. Thank you Lee!
Maybe I’m just extra emotional today reflecting on all the narcissist put me through, and praying that this year will be a better year for me, but this video made me tear up. It’s not so much the content of the video, but rather seeing how far you’ve come and seeing the love you have for your daughter. I’m one that has been watching you from the start and you should be proud of who you have become! What an accomplishment! Happy New Year, Lee, and thanks for all of the hard work you put in to help us get through this and move on!
He would take sex away, knowing how i felt about it. Like it got to the point of feeling like i had to beg/ ask for it then i wouldn’t even want to. I never understood why it was such a problem of me being attracted to him & only wanted him. Normal thinking person would be glad that their person only wants them. Or he would start a crazy argument just to try to have sex after which i really hated & did understand. Such a turn off & disgusting. I would tell him u get turned on from arguments? its really weird. He would even make me feel uncomfortable by saying im into women (i eat …) and never in my life. I still feel gross by that comment
It's crazy how spot on this stuff is. I was a sahm for the past 20 yrs and he worked but I controlled the money along with the household first thing he started doing was stopping his direct deposit and leaving me without any money to pay bills. He went through like 5 yrs of bank statements claim some how I was stealing from him, he broke the safe and took the savings cash and blew all of it. He took control of the phone account and at one point took my ability to access the account even though he had already left the family phone plan to get his own, thinking that would hide his cheating. We had a 'normal' family for nearly 13 years before he could no longer suppress his insanity.
Yes we had a healthy sex life even after nearly 30 years and he withheld those activities...
It's absolutely mind blowing to see how spot on this videos are.
Oh and if course this was all my fault he came up with a story about some how I was cheating it took him a few months to solidify the story he was telling, now he has that lie Abt me on lock. When we was younger I fell for this ruse not anymore.
Please do a part 2 of how to understand the “control your time”
That’s the only area after 17 years of marriage that he has outsmarted me with.
I admit it and truly hope you can give us some insight on how to ignore reacting to our time.
Because now he just fights about petty things nonstop
Like he already ruined my family and relationships
3 years I haven’t seen my fmaily
He’s cheated
He’s done all the worst things and I’ve bounced back and rating my kid and were cordial
But now he like “won’t leave me alone over little things like my time and suddenly the way i suggested the hard to look is literally his reason to be upset today
He does it everyday and I do all the grey rock advice but I need help to know how to predict it or like … I don’t forsee it coming EVER
and I just want to squash his last issue with me and then be cool
But then the net. Day he has a new issue
And now my face gets red and annoyed and now even silence doesn’t work because now it’s my blank face that’s the issue
It’s so annoying
Give me a good tip Lee PLS on how you’d handle it and not let them see me upset or anything that’ll be used against me tonight or tomorrow
💯% true. Thanks for sharing. Financial Abuse is real.
💯💯
He did every single one Lee
Every single point! Experienced all of this ^10
I remember I started dating this guy and he went through my social media and liked every picture he wanted me to delete any skin below the neck 😂
I noticed with my Narcissist he would like to control my time by telling me he will attend a gathering then wait till I get dressed then pretend to find clothing, procrastinate, then tell me once I'm completely dressed and ready to go then say would you be mad if I don't want to go. Then start a debate or argument on how I'm being selfish.
This happen to me cause he was the main bread winner then he got greedy and lost his business and the last few years I was begging for him to give me money for groceries and just basic bills he started refusing to pay but had no problem going on vacations without me all the time he had his new supply … 24 years married .. lost home .. I almost feel like he wanted it to happen
Oh my gosh a food one! This definitely happened to me with my parents. One will say that I’m too skinny when I was a kid so I need to eat more, which I eat a lot and normal when I was a kid! Then would watch me eat until my dish was empty or show them that I ate all my food all up. Then if I didn’t they would get upset so I would feel like I’m walking on eggshells or pressured. Then when my parent gets upset for whatever reason, my parent would say lose some weight even when I didn’t bother them. I remember it never felt good when this happens. Then my other parent would tell me when I told my other parent what I’m eating any food even the healthy ones, the parent would say don’t eat this or that because it could cause any health issues every time. It’s so bad that I didn’t have a choice to no longer tell what I’m eating or make up a story so I can enjoy my food peacefully. Thank Mental Healness for your perspective on this.
A narcissist likes supply to be obsessive about them but how do narcissist view stalkers? Are stalkers seen as ''good supply'' for the narcissist or how do they view a thing like that?
First of all Happy New Year!! May you please do a video on Narc’s breaking up with you during the holidays (or during life changing event’s) and still trying to stick around in your life in other ways. Because they “love you”. After blaming you for everything. Then Calling/ texting/ trying to have access to you. Despite pain that they’ve knowingly caused.
Look at Lees cheek bones show the excitement his daughter brings his heart:) that’s the only real thing narcs lack and it’s so easy to just show the good times too and the joy they feel in between all their mood shifts. Lee keep doing that and remind us that we at keast should see them happy on their own.. not being happy to their spouse which is usually love bombs in disguise and that’s what hurts. But even if they can’t be genuinely happy to us- we still would be content if we could hear like a fly on the wall that they do still like their home and life. That’s just my personal wish and tiny request I wish my husband could do. Just be happy within our home, even if I know he’s mad at me
Again, please still be normal and happy so it’s not cortisol moments of passings through the house that make us tired and sad every evening..
I am loving all the comments today and Lee. You get the UA-cam award if there is one for the most engaged discussion that real time made it to
Us all at once.
So cool:)
They don’t want to control. Even when they have control, they still create chaos.
😫
It’s funny that you mention that movie Fallen because it reminds me a lot of Narcissist too but not because of the song….because of the Demon that keeps jumping from body to body! This is exactly what I believe is happening with Narcissistic Disordered Individuals! Maybe not all but Definitely some!!💯👁️
Are narcissists able to be happy when they are able to gain a lot of supply during their whole life? So when they have a consistent flow of a lot of supply?
Not particularly
@@ModelValeriaa great question and Lee.. be the pioneer on that question because I’ve never thought it but if somehow even offered a theory on this comment and topic- it’d help!
My ex was thru money . He felt like cause he was spending money for food and transportation he could mistreat me and sleep around with female escorts
Lee UA-cam fam- this is my 5th comment on one video it’s so great!! Lee asked us to send in topics to add too and wow, the vibe today within us commenting back and forth and feeling heard. I feel the LOVE FROM YALL❤❤❤❤ I AM IMPRESSED WORH THE POWER THIS CHANNEL BRINGS TOGETHER 😢
Do they go to Church to actually change or use it as a hunting ground
Hunting ground.
Wow that's pure evil man never met a person like this she seemed innocent too
Hunting
So why is that?
Yeah they’ll go to church sometimes to prove to a supply they Christian man to trick the new supply
He didn't financially abuse me but we both worked. And if I need money for something then I had to pay it back!!! Me! His wife!! Pay it baaaaaack!!
READY ✨
‼️
Lee.
Excellent Job!
You spot on w everything!
My husband said I couldn't eat because I didn't pay for it
Omfg that’s cruel
Isolation you forgot to mention. Seen him try al 5 tactics. I still walked away.
Excellent video! 🎉 absolutely 💯
Everything, but money was controlled! From all that controlling to absolute opposite to the end could not care less what youre doing, where you are etc...
Control your success at work, mentally and physically.
💯
The not married thing was a huge thing to me not one that I really expressed to him, because I don’t want it being exploited, but I feel like he wants to date forever because he controlled me. Better threaten me with leaving but I’m the one that left now
🙏🏽🙏🏽
He didn't want me talking or going out and hate my relationship with my kids wow
I had affection/intimacy withheld from me…until I filed for divorce, lol. Joker was throwing cheeks at me then! Sorry sir, no longer interested :)
the nutrition abuse is sooo real. mothers with their daughters esp. this can ruin your ability to enjoy exercise!!!
and by ruining your exercise, they tear away at your confidence and limited coping skills that are healthy. then they call you fat and somehow get mad abt that. now your metabolism is damaged as well!
Facts 👏
Got mad when I could not talk no respect for my job
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How would you approach a narcissist blaming you for their actions or things that you had no control over.
He didn't want me to touch him
Hey Lee. So after divorce, my children, with the exception of my son, my three daughters do not talk to me. They actually accuse me of things that their father has done to them and blame it all on me. He still to this day does not have a strong relationship, even though our younger 2 live with his parents, he rarely reaches out to them. But i am the villian the bad person. And their conviction of who they claim for me to be is insane. I don't talk to my three daughters, his parents smear campaigns me along with his fake wife and it is like a sh*t show. I hate it because it looks like they are right because they have all turned on me and dont really know what to do about the situation. Now my question is, could that be his way of controlling them to hurt me. This story goes really deep. So much more. but could he have that kind of power over them unknown to me just to make me suffer. Its at a point that i don't want my younger daughters around. One said that she wanted to kill me. For what I don't know but either way i don't want them around.
I knew a narcissist that pushes her supply to switch to iPhone, which is a current android user. 🎉😂🤭🤣
Yo Lee was up I am overwhelmed I need someone to talk to😢 My kids Dad is f+++++up. I cannot care if he see the kids anymore.
Thanks for sharing such valuable information! Just a quick off-topic question: I have a SafePal wallet with USDT, and I have the seed phrase. (alarm fetch churn bridge exercise tape speak race clerk couch crater letter). How can I transfer them to Binance?
He with hold for months
Hey Lee,
That’s my brothers name, he’s unaware. 😂 anyway I’m wondering what you childhood was like?
Thanks
Ima real boy!!!🤥🤖
He withhold being a father is that control
In the field lol
🤭😅
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💯💯💯💯💯
So cute!!!
Lee - you are also a self HEALED narcissist🙌🫶🍾 you always say youe opening line which we love as self aware narcissist but you are now a graduate student and you’re healed too!!
You also care to hear our thoughts which many UA-camrs don’t care when they have a channel but you’re very appreciatiyand intelligent with how we comment so you’re also a researcher and coach.
And it’s okay Lee and I’m sure you know this better than me, that narcissist or any personality dysfunctional person may always think and feel those same traits inside- but that is okay to feel it- Lee has shown, we can still choose to act caring or not so vocally upset about it.
That’s all people want is to just not have every day of the year be this same intensity with them.
Especially the holidays and special moments in life- Christmas I know has l led us all in again to address it today how they control everything.
I told my husband to please just not be so vocally upset of his every comment for Christmas pls and he said I won’t and he lied and he did it 4-8 days over this break.
Like oh my gosh humans need a break and that could a topic too- “how to make a narcissist just chill and shut up for one party or event or day..
Please can it ever be about the positive things that the day has and not end with the one issue they felt that made the entire day end with us ina “fight” as they call everything that 😳😳😳
Lee she’s look adorable in her little skates and you always deserve to be acknowledged for the growth you’ve done by little things like your joy for your daughter and including your wife to your day❤ you’re acknowledging her worth to you both and that’s such proof of the little changes that are so major also and we’re all sooo proud Lee and yall deserve the award for being the leaders in this issue and actually doing something to make it right 🙌🫶💯
Thank you so much!!
So cute!!!