A Chat With My Foster Mum | EP. 7
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- Опубліковано 15 лип 2024
- Welcome to EP. 8 of Emily Abraham Presents The Love Luxury Podcast where Emily talks to her foster mother, Elaine about Emily's life and growing up in a foster home.
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00:00 Intro
01:06 Elaine's life as a foster parent and taking on over 20 kids throughout her life
10:46 Why do people give their babies up for adoption?
12:24 My mum having me when she was a 15 year old
21:12 Being forgotten by my mum at school and being placed in overnight emergency care several times
25:11 My mum passing away in the same bed as me when I was 6 years old
31:30 My nan's alcohol addiction worsening after losing my mum, her favourite child
35:36 Elaine taking me in when I was 6 years old after I had gone through a lot of temporary foster care
50:20 Going to my mum's funeral with the social worker
51:25 My foster parents' struggles to keep my custody from my nan
57:48 My nan forcefully getting custody of me only to subject me to a tougher environment
01:04:17 Getting fed up of life with my nan, running away and not seeing her for 10 years
01:13:34 Being there for my children in ways my mum wasn't there for me
01:17:42 Meeting my dad when I was 19 only to have some unsavoury moments with him
01:21:42 Outro
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Her going to the library to teach herself about how to deal with a child with loss says a lot about her heart and her sense of responsibility! God bless her!
Your mother is a true example of a "Christian" woman. Rather than talk about her beliefs she acts upon them. Such a lovely, lovely lady,
Your mum is such an insightful and loving woman. She is what foster parents should look like. What a privilege to listen to your stories
What an absolute Angel on earth your mum is, we need more women like her! Absolutely incredible
as someone who is looking into being a foster carer, hearing the appreciation and love you have for your foster mum has actually finalised my decision. thank you!
Kids need people like you and and Emily's mum x You will make an *ETERNAL DIFFERENT*
God led me here for this.
I am a grandmother raising my grandchildren.
Your mum just explained so much of what needed to know so i do better for them.
Your side allows me to see her side.
The understanding that trauma effects a child so deeply that behavior is part of what it creates.
Thank you for doing this.
Your mum is absolutely an Angel this has actually made me cry so much it’s very rare to find people so loving and giving ❤
Completely agree what a beautiful kind caring understanding mother you have, makes me cry so much. Thank you for sharing your stories and being so brave.❤️
What a story. Very emotial to watch. Emily could literally write a book. I'd love to know how her childhood has influenced how she now mothers her children.
Emily, I am usually not the one to comment but I have huge admiration for you being able to be you after having such traumatic childhood. Hats off to your mum
Your foster mother is truely such an angel.
Emily, what a childhood you had… but you really were saved by a true loving angel… an incredible podcast to watch and listen to, two remarkable woman
SO much respect for you Emily, sharing your story is very brave and WOW your mums energy is unreal, what an amazing woman, lots of love to you all, great podcast.
What an amazing mom! So generous and loving.
Watched your ticktock video for a while now. I can't believe how far you came. Breaks my heart. Everything you have today is reward for everything you went through as a child. You deserve everything you achieved today
What wonderful women, I couldn't stop crying throughout the video. May Allah reward Elaine and your dad for all the love and care they have given to so many, and may the burdens of all neglected children be eased Insha'Allah. Sending a big warm hug and may Allah answer all of your duas and continue to guide you.
Aameen ❤️
I was fostered at the age of 6 weeks old. My biological mother I remember meeting her once at a very young age (about 7 yrs old) and my biological father 2 or 3 times (sporadically) between the ages of 7-10ish.
Fostering 60 years ago was normally a 'temporary' situation. But lucky for me my bio mother was not worth the time of day and had got pregnant again soon after me and had the audacity to have more children and not want them, and my bio father had failed 2 attempts (after not seeing me for 6 years) to kidnap me and take me out of the country. He also was taken to court and ordered to financially contribute to my early upbringing but never met the order or paid a penny. (the irony was he was studying to be a lawyer!)
I remember my foster mother and I would have to attend meetings with the fostering authorities and she and I were always nervous that the autorites would take me away...but they could see that my foster mother was a good caring person who put my welfare above everything else.
My foster parents were not wealthy, quite the opposite, but they both had 'good hearts' and where kind caring people. And they were all the qualities that they ever needed and no more. My foster father unfortunately died of pneumonia when I was 5 (but I do have memories of him) so my foster mother courageously raised me alone for the next 33.
All she ever told me was "All I want to see, is you grow up and get married" (that was her ensuring that I would be ok) and I did 2 years before she passed. I could see on her face and in her kind, kind eyes (that people always complimented her on) that she was so happy, proud on that day, that she knew she had now accomplished her wish. So I made sure that everyone present who did not know 'our' story' - my foster mother and late father's unconditional love, devotion and courage to raise me from 6 weeks old has their own - heard it in my toast to both of them, on the day.It was just me standing up there looking in my mother's eyes, and telling her "Thank you Mother, for everything you have given me".
She already knew that, returning her gesture, with just her silent, selfless smile back at me, which I had become familiar with from a young child to an adult. Unfortunately my Mother passed 2 years later...but achieving her goal in life.
I have tremendous respect for both my late father who passed in 1967 (he has now been gone longer than he lived) and my late mother suddenly passing in her sleep in 1996. They had tremendous courage and love to take on a 6 week old baby, both at the age of 50 years old - something modern day authorities would not even consider or entertain today, because 'genuine caring and loving foster parents; have unfortunately been replaced by pen-pushers and their 'tick boxes'. (and look at a lot of the horrendous mistakes they have made in the modern day!) with none of those 'tick boxes' titled - "Loving and kind people".
Even years on to this day, I miss her 'tremendously'. Has a baby and and through my childhood, she was my voice, my 'guardian angel' . I was lucky that back then I did not get passed from home to home, family to family, like many unfortunate children that are in my position today, but was raised in just one loving (what became 'permanent) home by 'outstanding, extraordinary' parents who gave me the most wonderful childhood, which I would not change a single moment. In those moments when we ask or friends and colleagues "what was your childhood like?" My answer is always - "A wonderful, secure and amazing, loving one".
For whatever reason, I was never officially adopted. I think adoption back then was rare and fostering was seen has a 'temporary' solution, but I got lucky! (and has each year went buy, my mum used to say "Well once you reach 18 they can't take you away". So in my case, it all worked out fantastic for both me and my wonderful foster parents.
Personally I am glad that my bio parents didn't want me, and that instead I was raised by fantastic, loving parents and family. Which brings joy and a smile to my face everytime I think of them.
Finally, at the age of 21, I honoured both my foster parents and changed my name to their family name, which my mother was emotionally overwhelmed with happiness, because I was her first and only boy, and the family name carried on - that was the least I could have done to honour the extreme love and kindness they had both showed me. R.I.P G.C & H.C xx
That made me cry. I'm so happy you had a loving home and mum and dad ❤
@@x-starlight-x Thank you for reading my story.
Oh gosh, I'm in tears reading your story. Your foster parents have done an amazing job raising you, I'm so sorry your dear dad passed at such a young age, but glad you had your mum and that she achieved her goal of seeing you married. The fact you took their name shows how deeply you cared for them. Thank you for sharing your life with us here. 🙏
Thank you so much for your kind words.Yes, I have nothing but the deepest respect and gratitude for my life -long foster family. @@shonabeggs4640
Your story is so heart wrenching it made me cry and I rarely cry x
Emily can you please do a video on how to pick yourself up when you feel life isn’t working or going as planned.. think we would all benefit from that and your story is amazing - so any advice would be massively a blessing
Elaine is a wonderful woman. She really loved her calling and showed soo much love to all her bonus children
Mashallah what an educated, loving, understanding woman ur mom is😍 God bless u both🙏🏼
I wish the care system was full of women like this and her partner. Unfortunately she is a rare gem in a very corupt system thats meant to protect vulnerable children. She's to be treasured at all costs❤
Your mum has such a beautiful soul bless her
Your bonus mum is an angel what a amazing lady ❤ May your birth mother be at peace she was very young and vulnerable x
So much respect for Emily more than before 100% can’t imagine a child to not be wanted by family members and become a strong woman! MashAllah
What a wonderful mum! And so psychologically brilliant!
What a gem your mum is. Wow.
I was almost to cry a few times, the greatest example of humanity working with so much love! I realised that I still have to work a lot on my personal love that I share with others! Many blessings ❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you for sharing your journey , and vulnerable past , despite your great glow up. Most people would not know your journey was not as easy as initially thought. Thank you for being such a beautiful spirit and sharing .
I just adore Elaine. This was such a beautiful interaction to see. Thank you sharing this part of your life and Elaine with us.
Elaine is an earth angel. ❤
Thanks to Elaine and Emily for this fascinating podcast ❤
I cried the whole podcast, you’ve been through alot, but wow what an amazing, loving, understanding and wise lady and mum you have became. ❤❤
Your mum is truly an angel and I though living way far from her with my own family feel so much gratitude and respect for how she treated you and +20 other foster children with love and compassion plus raising her own children ❤❤❤
I hadn’t seen any of your videos or podcasts before but stumbled across a clip from this podcast on Instagram and had to watch the whole thing. What a beautiful and profound conversation between two special people. Thank you to all the Elaines of the world.
You are so inspirational Emily the trauma you endured no child should go through that!!
And to your Mom what a special woman also so inspirational and I pray and hope that all poor unfortunate children have foster Mom”s like her.
God speed
Elaine is such an angel, she’s so insightful 💖
Wow what a wonderful interview. I have the upmost respect for both you ladies. What a life you have had Emily... very difficult trauma. You should be so very proud of yourself. We all most certainly are proud of you! I have never been blessed with being a mum after many losses. This whole hour and half touched me emotionally. Thankyou for sharing with us. You beautiful beautiful lady. Godbless you both ❤ xx
What a women your mum is! Wish there was more people in this word like her. Listening to your story was very relatable thank you for sharing. ❤
Completely agree what a beautiful kind caring understanding mother you have, makes me cry so much. Thank you for sharing your stories and being so brave.❤️ I would give your lovely mother everything ❤
I love your podcasts so much Emily
Your such a strong lady and I'm truly inspired by you and how you navigate life with so much love and empathy ❤
Your Mum is a wonderful person. A inspiration to others, Thank you for sharing your personal story. Sending love ❤
What an amazing mother you have, she’s an absolute angel ❤
Hearing your story and how you overcome everything is purely example of strength given by Allah.
And your mum she’s such a beautiful soul ❤
I’m only half way through watching this. I think it was such a sad start that had a beautiful ending. Absolute credit to your mum, for taking you in and treating you like your own. We need more people like her. ❤️
Your mum is an angel in human form. I can tell how big her heart is by not just everything she's done but how she talks from the heart & I see the emotions in her eyes. I've cried watching parts of this. Emily you deserve all the success in the world, hearing your childhood has me in bits. I'm a solo parent to my little boy. I know the struggles, emotionally, financially, security. I don't have my own house & things but I give all my love & nurturing to my little boy. He's my whole heart. God bless people like your mum. You're a true inspiration Emily ❤️❤️
I would hope that you could see this. Your Mum is extraordinary. Kind, gentle, generous and understanding. She reminds me very much of my mother in law. (She even looks and sounds like her) She and my father in law welcomed young, unmarried, pregnant girls into their home. They had seven children and the girls would help with the children. In addition my in-laws paid for them to go to school and get their degrees so they could be licensed practical nurses. After they gave birth the babies were put up for adoption and the moms retuned home. They did this for many, many years and still heard from the girls years later. They touched many lives, the same as your Mum.
You are such an inspiration Emily, beautiful lady with a forgiving heart. May God continue to use as an instrument to help other people.
This was such a privilege to listen to. Thank you both for sharing your stories. Your mum is seems so wise and so caring and it was lovely to watch two people really listen to each other and not fight to get their point across. So respectful ❤️
Emily, you are special in so many ways. I am deeply touched by your story. I would have never thought you have been through all of that, seeing you today. God bless you and your mom Elaine ♥️ You are my big inspiration!
Loved hearing your story Emily thank you so much for telling it as couldn’t be easy, your foster mum seems like a lovely lady xxx
I think when you suffer it gives you a sensitivity towards others and makes you a better Mummy too. 🥰 you had a difficult start. Love the fact you’re so brave 💕
Wow. What a beautifully natural podcast, that has left me very emotional. Thank you for being so open and honest and raising so many issues that can happen with foster care. .God bless you both.
So sad knowing your mom passed next to you, I cried just picturing it 🙏❤️ Thank God for your mom now❤️
Your mum is an Angel ❤
This was a very lovely discussion, deserving of so many more views. Thank you for being open and vulnerable. ❤
What a beautiful heart her mother! Your so lucky to have had such a beautiful mother and she was so lucky to have you! Emily I could hear the pain in your voice about your birth mom, I am so sorry sweetie!
The world needs more people like her! Such a precious soul ❤❤
For sure ❣️
What a beautiful exchange between you both. You’re both a real testament to yourselves. 🌹
Emily, I found this video after clicking on a link after seeing moo and siennas video! What an absolutely spectacular woman your mum, Elaine is! I could have cried watching this video! Elaine is one amazing woman who I think (from watching this video, correct me if I’m wrong) gave you great lessons on in life, great values, brilliant manners. You honestly are an inspiration. I’m sorry to hear that you had such a difficult upbringing that in ways was exceptionally sad, and also upsetting and unhappy at times. I’m very thankful that you found your mum and dad that provided a stable home and family for you. I think you both talk so beautifully on a subject that must be so dear to your hearts. One think I’m very happy about is that you got to spend some quality time together. I hope you continue to do well I life and enjoy everything to the best of your ability! ❤️❤️❤️❤
You make me cry a lot and motivate me to become a foster mom.what a emotional story.Thank you
Very interesting listening, what a lovely lady your mother is and what a down to earth lady you are - kudos to you for living the life you do…..my grandson doesn’t know his father (not my daughters choice) - I hope he turns out as well as you have 🙏…tbh better to have no father than an unreliable one.
Emily...i really appreciate your experience and thank you so much for sharing this wonderful journey..l lost my sister last year and she left her 2 year old daughter behind..listening to this has made me teary and its been amazing to hear your stories and im just taking this as a reminder that my neice will be fine and I pray she grows up to become a fine young lady as you...your an inspiration ❤❤
Emily, you can see where you get your empathy, kindness and compassion from, your bonus mum. What a wonderful mum ❤️
Much respect to you both, u r both true inspirations ,ur mum has inspired me to possibly become a Foster parent in the future, and change children's lives like she changed yours ,ur resilience is outstanding sister. Keep going
Your mum is a wonderful woman ! ❤❤❤
Emily, you’re a beautiful woman, inside and out. Your foster mum is an integral part of all that immense beauty.
This is such an amazing story. So proud of you Emily for standing up for yourself! And look what God has done to you? He graces you with all the blessings and love from those people who really cares for you!
And your Bonus Mom is such a great person! They're your savior❤
Sooo emotional story. You and your bonus mum are so brave and lovely women. Lots of love to both of you x
Wow this podcast is so real.
What an increase woman you are absolutely incredible how you have made something of yourself after such a traumatized childhood.
Your strength is admirable.
What amazing women you both are. Elaine is definitely an angel here on earth. God bless you both 💝
I came across you Emily on Love Luxury, and eventually got here. I just didnt imagine that you went through so much. What a brave a resilient woman you are! Your Mum Elaine is an absoute diamind. May Allah swt reward her and her husband for all the good they have done. AMEEN
You been through so much and look were you are now much but how blessed to have a humble foster mum. She said some wise words you can't wipe one's tear if you haven't wiped your own those words are so true
I’m crying! What a beautiful story 🤍
An amazing story. Thank you for sharing. You've certainly faced your share difficulties, but here you are. You survived and you thrived. This is the first of your podcasts I've listened to but will definitely listen to more. I'd love to hear more about your amazing life.
I grew up in Foster care, from ages 8-16 now I'm 19 in my own house ut is difficult but lifes getting better, It does change you growing up adopted or in Foster Care. But if this didn't happen I wouldn't be here to share my Story. There is so many Similarities between our story at age 13 i tried to end my life too as everything was all so Overcoming Your story is so inspirational what a Fantastic Nurturing woman your Bonus mum is Emily it just proved those who grow up Adopted or in Foster care Don't just End us as Statistics or less than others in society.
I worked with kids in care. They were absolute diamonds, they had far too much on their plates because of their life experiences but there were moments with them that I treasure. I want you to know how worthy of love you are. I'm so grateful I met those kids and I hope you have someone who cherishes you. If you don't now, you will.
What an inspiration. And she says it like it’s no big deal. Doing gods work.
You are a credit to yourself. That is a challenging start to life.
You’re bonus family sound amazing, the world is a better place for people like these.
This was so insightful and interesting. Your story is so moving and your foster mum excudes kindness. Love to you both xx
What a wonderful women your mum is! Thank you for sharing your story with us
A really moving and beautiful interview. Two lovely women.
I'm unsure how it is for younger children now as I fell through the cracks with that one and never received any kind of social worker, but at 16 i was kicked out and I tried to seek help through the local youth services. Stating both being kicked out and the years of blatant abuse. They said they couldn't do anything until they'd contacted my mum. She refused to answer the phone to them so they sent me off, with no emergency accommodation - telling me to come back in 2 days so they can try to call her again. After a month of sleeping rough and with those youth services not helping me at all I eventually found my own hostel place by emailing the charities myself. The hostel care worker was sympathetic to the abuse but still felt the best option was rebuilding a relationship with mum, and hopefully moving back home.
This was 2015. Reuniting with mum is still unfortunately a huge expectation and I can only imagine causes far more issues when the children aren't 16 yet and arent able to step into the inbetween of child and adult welfare the way I did.
What an absolute angel your mum is Emily, your dad too. Every child that they've cared for must have felt loved and safe. I hope you take care of them now. You were extremely lucky to have been placed with them. All children deserve the start in life that this couple gave theirs.
This podcast made me cry while thinking about how you must have felt all that time Emily… sending you all the love and I’m deeply touched by your mum’s kindness and love.
Thank you for introducing us to the Angel that is Elaine. We need reminders that there are people like this in the world. And thank you for being brave enough to share such a private and difficult story
You are an inspiration and credit to Elaine who showed you how to love
Thank you for sharing your personal experience. This video made me feel so connected & understood in such a profound way… thank you! I’d love to hear more regarding how you began your healing journey and personal development! Blessings from Australia 💕
Your mum is an incredible woman, please share more of her stories and include her in more videos ❤️
Your mum and dad are such beautiful people they are. May Allah keep you more barkart and happiness ameen. 💝💝💝💖💖💖💐💐💐💐
This is why you’re such a thoroughly beautiful soul. All the best people have a difficult story 👼🏽♥️
What a beautiful podcast. You and your mum are 2 very special people yous seem very alike kind and caring ❤️ sending you and your family lots of love Xx
Hello Emily,
I came across you from your Tic Toc's and insta, but had no idea about you and your life. Then I got your channel come up on my suggestions and I watched your podcast with Adam on how you met and now this video. Wow!! this just goes to show that you should never judge a book by its cover, always read the book before you make a judgement. It also shows how social media can project a persona that is furthest from the truth, you have a great story & a life journey. I wish you all the happiness & wealth in your future 👍
Beautiful. So many blessings behind the trauma and you genuinely appreciate all of the experiences you have lived through.
I am soo happy for u you came back for happy life and u r example for many others girls who r struggling
SUCH an enlightening transparent conversation! So insightful. So emotional. So many journeys
This was wonderful. Thank you Emily.
Two really remarkable women. Hats off to you both,
If I’m half the woman Emily or her mother is, I’d have made it in life ❤ absolutely love you Emily and am so happy you chose to build your life up instead of potentially taking a different path which seems like it has come close at points. You are a wonderful, wonderful woman and I pray life continues to bring you and your family many, many blessings ❤
So nice to hear your story and learn more about you. Such a sad but beautiful story, and just makes me appreciate my family abit more.xx
Really touched my ❤ listening to this♥️
Much love and respect to this sweet lady with a big big heart❤❤❤
What a story 😭 I can't stop crying!!!😭😭😭 God helped you big time. Look at u now ur strong & millionaire. Very lucky women. Love your foster mum u can tell she is very kind. Many blessings!!😍🙏
I watched the whole thing, this was absolutely beautiful.