Coercive Control - Liminal Coaching
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- Опубліковано 11 вер 2024
- Coercive control is a method of manipulating a person where instead of causing them to directly change their behavior, a person will use intimidation and fear to cause someone to change their behavior. Today we will explore this in detail.
This is the only video on the internet that I have found which explains the control I was under. Most videos mention the partner controlling everything. Mine didn’t if you blinked you would miss it, yet I was walking on eggshells the whole time. Looking back I can now see it clearly I stayed for 16 years! Anyone that feels even slightly on edge around their partner must question what kind of relationship they are in. Xx
a lot of people don’t realise coercive control is just that - coercive. it’s often very hard to notice, even to the victim the self. glad 7r out of that situation now. hope u r doing well ❤❤
Thankyou for this excellent explanation, particularly the examples of behaviour.
It can be so subtle and hard to spot. For those experiencing it, very dark, debilitating and lonely. Victims can feel like they are going crazy trying to explain it and afraid to ask for help.
The more we all understand what it looks like the harder it will become for people to get away with it. Lets share the knowledge, call it out, and be ready with support!
this is my dad all my life.. him and my covert narc mom look like a perfect pair of people.. forever walking on eggshells around him and taking my mom's sabotage and their dog-whistle criticism.. it seems I'm crazy to interpret certain things the way I do, but boy the gut does know something!
Also,cutting them off from friends and family:trying to turn them against their own family and mother.
In some cases succeeding too.
Your voice is very soothing. It helps me listen.
"If you don't do blah blah blah then you are making me feel unloved"
Wow. I actually had to replay lots of parts as it was like you were talking exactly about someone I know. Thank you for clearing the fog.. there were lots of signs I already new but lots I hadnt realised he was using till you explained them.
I lived with this kind of control for a very long time. Though my abusers have been dead for a number of years I'm still hurting from the abuse they inflicted on me.
Omg I am stuck in a marriage with a man who has these traits
My family has fallen apart, I have a son with him
He gaslights most days
Leave.
I have got out of a 3 year relationship with constant abuse it was worse in the last 2 years when we lived together. I'm only 1 week out and I'm still trying to process it and break it down. He did 95% of the things in this video. Only violent twice. I was raped 12 years ago and compared to this it is like a walk in the park. The mental trauma that my ex has caused is unbearable some days. The abuse helplines are getting to know me!
This was spot on, most boxes are ✅ to what I'm going through right now.
Yes, great explanation! Liked and subbed! Exactly what happened to me. I've been looking this stuff up for a year and there was plenty of new things clicking into place from watching this.
glad it was helpful
My cousin neighbour is a classic for this you just described him to a t. He just got married and his wife cried a lot in front of my mum recently my mum was telling me. His parents think he’s good as gold or don’t want to believe what he really is like. He har a tantrum when my mum confronted him and then stopped talking to my mum for a bit. He only respects his own parents. Only problem is he comes into our house without warming because my mum leaves our garden door open. he will literally talk you to death and want you to agree to everything he says and arrogantly and conveniently ignores what you say or will disagree at least even if your 110% right. Like this woman says I could go on forever the different tactics they employ. because some days they will be normal compassionate and listen and you think to yourself hold on I thought he is a monster but this part is fake to keep you doubting yourself and your sanity lol. Its crazy mind boggling stuff all this.
ya, i'm pretty sure my dad intimidated my mom to choose him over me as a child. my mom takes care of my dad as if hes a child. so if i was ever upset at night and i knocked on my parents door to talk to my mom, my dad would keep my mom from me and not let me see her and yell at me.
I didn't know what label this abuse needed for my family and I. I split and walked away beat on 12 years ago and because I walked he couldn't cope with my self after leaving him standing up for my self and I have paid the price ever since. 12 years of constant revenge. Tactical revenge always using my kids. Constant lies about me to social services when he would be the Instagator. Laughing in my face in mediation therapy he sabotages my life constantly and feel to give up but couldn't thinking of my children. They too are suffering good insanity. No outside contact with Mom or other family. He controls everything. This documentary had given me answers in recognising that he is doing it to my children also and getting away with it because all of us have something that he can use against us. While he whispers the punishments to come. And never thinking twice in order to done it out
I’m so sorry. That’s abuse and neglect and it’s not ok nor is that acceptable!
Or making you feel guilty and accusing you of hiding something if you Want Passwords on your Accounts! My Dad did that! A tactical invasion of privacy...
My mum used to keep me up very late at night to tell me and explain to me why everything I was into was a load of rubbish and telling me my fantasy friends were not real (like I wasn't delusional, i knew this, buut she insisted on reminding me virtually every night) as a kid until like 3 am. Now as result I'm an adult and can still not break the habit of going to bed late.
Growing up she always controlled what friends I had and didn't have and never allowed me to go out on my own unless I was with her.
These days whenever I meet anybody new as a friend or a potential date she always mentions them in a complaining way and gives me a hard time so it made it just not worth having any people in my life. I'm actually still living with her to this day and I can't leave because she's disabled and now I'm her carer, there's nobody else in her or our lives so if I leave now it means I'd be the arsehole for abandoning her along with everybody else, and she reminds me of this, if we do talk about my leaving, usually her bringing it up not me, she'll say that if I do leave she's going to write about me in her book basically slagging me off and tell everybody on facebook that I'm a bad daughter and so on. it's very restricting and limiting. If she did all this and I wasn't her carer I'd just leave anyway.
As her carer I pretty much have to do EVERYTHING including cleaning the house and the like. I feel like a slave and if she wasn't disabled it'd be easier to leave and say "well I want my own life now".
life is miserable because I don't like the fact that my life is just about cleaning a house and thats it. I'm only permitted to go to supermarkets too and she always gives me a hard time for going out 3 times a week saying I'm always going out and never home and nothing gets done. TBH I just can't be arsed and I have gotten lazy and I get up late on days I don't go out. I'm probably just as bad. she says I'm the abusive one and I'm worse than any abuser she's dealt with so maybe I'm a bad person because I don't like waiting on someone hand and foot and cleaning all my life.
Sounds like a very toxic situation. Have you considered getting a counsellor to help you figure out a solution?
So this is what happened, i was still wondering how he made me change according to his rules
Is coercive control linked to narcissism?
yes, often it is
ua-cam.com/video/lnj15y1dUDw/v-deo.html
Yes
Yes
I would say yes, you always give and get little to nothing in return.
Thank you... You explained alot very well, I can almost let out a breath of relief if that's the word I'm looking for... ❤️
Grooming another adult to do sex acts is coercive control or rape.
whaaaaaaaaaaat
Good video and well explained
my daughter is in a horrible relationship and her life and ours are destroyed.
go get some help....even if she's not ready to, you'll be better informed
can they stop the partner from emailing parents or seeing them. can it be dangerous? i am worried avout my daughter.
sometimes yes, get a professional DV counsellor involved
They may do, but they definitely will read your emails.
I think these people have their ‘ability to care’ switch...chronically in the “off” position. Any show of care or concern for others is a ruse...which they use to manipulate others with a show of affection or kindness, but...it is never sincere. Only a performance...used as a form of manipulation.
Nailed it 👌
That was pretty cool. Thank you for that. I'm in need of some sort of advice in regards to this as it's happening as I type this to a loved one of mine. I will be contacting the police, just wondering if there are any additional avenues you may suggest or advise that may help.
she must escape. she needs a safe place to go.
depending if it's life or death
a good DV counsellor will be able to assist her. there will be someone local to your loved one...google DV counselling services. theres also telephone counselling options
Oh my god. My ex did so many of these things..
That's so true
Brilliant, thank you
How truex
That's happened to me
Absolutely horrid
good///
Covid 19 - this is what the government is doing to the people. Don't kill granny!
100%
absolutely true
“I’m your mother”