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Everyone is misunderstanding. Individuality and compassion can coexist. Japanese people are unique, aren't they? Japan is also unique, isn't it? We can make high quality products because we think about people.
Loved the video! A lot of child rearing is the same around the world. However, as a retired Social Worker, bathing with your opposite sex parent after the age of 3 or 4 is highly inappropriate! I don't care what culture you're from. When a child starts to become very inquisitive about sexual parts, it's time to stop bathing with them. It's very difficult to teach children personal boundaries when parents are still bathing with them, never mind the discomfort for either of them. You have to remember when child rearing, things are different from when you were little compared to now. For example, I would not be letting my 5 year old roam a city by themselves with so many wackos out there that's for sure. There's so many other ways to teach children independence. 💙🕊️🕊️💙
After watching a documentary about how Japanese children are raised through attachment parenting, I decided early on to raise my children similarly (co-sleeping, wearing them in a sling for the first year of their life, co-bathing, always having them with me 100% of the time, etc.). Now they are 13 yo and 8 yo. They are the best kids in the world. They are considerate, confident, compassionate and self-disciplined. It was the best decision for my family!
As a Hispanic, it’s also very common for young adults and adults to live at home. I find interesting why there’s a “rush” to kick your child out at a certain age
American Culture is awful. My parents are both immigrants, we just ignore American culture. Family loves and takes care of each other. That should be the norm.
@@cskiller86 A lot of American families want their kids to be independent and start their lives and make a living for them self's and understand how "hard" the real world is. So usually when your 18 you graduate from high school and expected to go to college and just have your life begin. Its a little sad yah know
My parents don’t want me walking alone in a city and I’m 19 lol Update : 22 now and never expected this reaction from my comment 😂💀 …Parents still don’t want me walking alone. Obviously for good reasons
same here my my folks dont let me out unless they can have a servant go along with me....... feels infuriating but thats how life in the Third World is I suppose
Teaching children to consider the feelings of others and having this be a community effort explains why everything in Japan stays so clean and nice. Everyone is raised to be thoughtful.
Sometimes Westerners in Jtend to present social harmony and and personal development as inherently opposites rather than as mutually compatible and necessary.
Man ngl I just want to experience Japan for like several years. Their standards of living is beautiful and where my mind is at as compared to the U.S. The U.S. is basically a dumpster.
@@En3rgyLee that’s a gross exaggeration. It’s a dumpster in certain cities, but others it’s quite clean. Like, you can’t compare NYC, which is quite literally a cesspool, to say, where I live. It’s quiet and clean here where I am. Also this is a big country. You can’t make sweeping statements like that here.
@@hat4hat Because it isn't enforced and in the end people just go, Eh whatever. Along with individualism, it creates the idea that you yourself matter more than the other guy, despite giving people the illusion of absolute freedom in things.
Canadian high school cafeterias(back in my day): Greasy pizza, Mexi-fries, chilli cheese fries and some parents give their kids lunch telling them not to get unhealthy food from the cafeteria.
@@Castle3179 really, I'm also from Canada but since I was young they would make heathy breakfasts and lunch. In high school the students made the lunches which is a option course you get credits for you would have to pay for or go to the foods room, usually has a snack a fruit or vegetable with a sandwich. Of course in elementary either teachers or helpers would make the food for people who don't have food. Maybe because we live in different areas and every school I'm from talks about how you need a heathy diet in every grade makes the difference or age difference.
At 16 my mum decided she had done her job raising me and said I was old enough to live on my own ! I'm 41 now and have 3 wonderful children, my eldest is 21 and I would never dream of asking them to move out. I love having them at home.
How did you find a place to stay? Where did you find food? How did you afford your education? I am asking cause i might be in that situation in a few months.
@@TheWorkshop298 I was lucky enough to find a full time job so could afford to rent a house. I had nothing to put in it, not even a bed so for quite a while I slept on the floor. I got the basics that I needed as cheaply as I could or bought second hand items. Once I found my feet I replaced those items with ones that would last .
That is why the elderly in the west lead a lonely life in their old age. If you kick your child out at 16 then how can you expect them to bond with in your old age. I feel so bad for old people in the west.
@@rm3015 it really is very sad how some parents are in a rush to say they have done raising their children. The thought of my children maybe wanting to move out one day really upsets me. I love having them around me at home. I've told them their never leaving 😂
I agree with showing children how their actions affects those around them, instead of telling them that they are wrong and are grounded for how they treated someone.
I just realized, that hairstyle is the hairstyle of the baby from "the incredibles", you know the one who had the power to materialize in to fire ball, metal etc.
Several years ago a group of Japanese students visited my American high school for a couple weeks and their reaction to our lunches made me realize we were being fed garbage. Like I knew it, and we all wished it were better, but seeing their reaction just cemented that in my mind. Our food was trash. And the funny thing is that when people try to improve standards and make it healthier the parents go on a rampage about it to preserve the trash food because their kids won't eat healthier food. The trash starts at home I guess.
People wanna pop kids out and not parent. You have to feed your kid nutritious food. Snacks and junk food are okay sometimes but the bulk of their food must be healthy so they can start off on the right footing.
An exchange student came from Sweden and thought the same thing about cafeteria food in the local high school. In Sweden the students meals are almost like home cooked dinners.
Not only that, but they tried to go healthy, but the budget didn’t change, so we got things that tasted like cardboard. It was cheap stuff and some students blamed the cafeteria ladies for it when they were just working with what they were given.
I'm from Finland, and some parts of this video sounded very familiar to me, like kids going to school on their own, schools serving healthy lunches, and families bathing together (but here it's just sauna instead of baths). While there are lots of differences between Finland and Japan, I've always felt some sort of connection to their culture. There are things we share.
I was to say the same. And in Finland you don't have to pay for the lunch, it's offered by the city. The lunch is free also in lukio (~high school/ koukou), it is only until universities and colleges you have to pay for it, but it is very cheap, like three euros a meal. The sauna culture is perhaps changing, but traditionally families have bathed in sauna all together, so seeing your family members naked is no big deal. Some people here are more concerned their privacy than others, sometimes for personal reasons more than for adapted culture, but I think that younger people are more bashful than older generations.
I'd say the only difference or the core for the only differences between us Nordics (I'm Swedish Norwegian) and Japan comes from Japan being a collective society to a fault and a more conservative culture. While we're not pure individualist as like the US (which takes that to a fault) we certainly share the thinking about the collective but we're still much more individualist compared to Japan and definitely a lot less conservative
@@pink_alligator ..just do not fall close to, or in to the bad books of the Norway Child Services, even slightly, ..they at times have severely over-reacted and removed children for egotistacal reasons of office with power over all citizens, with no oversight over some of their higher level staff's 'opinionated' decisions that were later found to be morally incorrect to the many situations, for decades.
My mom took pride in having us all kicked out by the time we were 18. I grew up in the states. I struggled and starved through university trying to get bills paid while being a full-time student. Since I had no safety net anyway, I moved to the other side of the planet. I live in Japan now. In preparation for having my own children, I insisted we build on to the house in such a way that our children would be comfortable staying with us as adults if they so choose.
My Japanese mother family rules: 1. Respect and honor your parents and elders. 2. Kyoukan or empathy (迷惑を かけない) 3. Shoujiki or honesty, integrity. 4. Ganbatte! Try your best! But really, perfection or kanpeki (完璧) in all you do to reach enlightenment. 5. Save one-half your paycheck. 6. The group or team is more important than you, the individual. 7. And the list goes on an on. 8. And don't forget to send your child to the grocery store or neighbor's house to pickup things alone starting at age 4. 9. When I walked to school, there were signs reminding us of correct behavior. 10. Once at school, we formed up in the courtyard at the position of 'attention' and the principal would stand out in front of us and yell, "Dainippon teikoku, tenno heika . . ." And we shout and raise our hands up in the air, "Banzai, banzai, banzai.!" 11. It was an unspoken taboo in my family to send your aging parents to a nursing home. See rule 1. As an adult, I lived with my aging parents and took care of them. If someone asked me where I lived. I would say with my parents. If the person asking the question was American. They would give me a strange look. But if the person was Japanese they gave me an approving look or they would say, 'good son.' Fortunately, I have three brothers and two sisters. We all took turns living with our aging parents. Both died in their beds in their home sleeping next to one of their siblings.
What school did you go to??? Is that a public school. I'm asking because of No. 10. It sounds like something that would've been done during WWII. Went to Jp public schools decades ago here.
I really find it good that young children are taught to clean up the classrooms themselves instead of having a janitor or cleaning person do it. When children do the cleaning themselves they respect for the cleaning people instead of having everything done for them.
I love how Maiko's perspective on the empathy with the community vs. losing one's individuality. I think this is one of the advantages of having parents from different cultures - kids get to have a balance of both.
I loved your video! I went to Japan a few years back and found it very interesting. My daughter and I were very impressed at how people were so quiet and unintrusive . Even in a big city like Tokyo you didn’t feel overwhelmed by all the people because they were all so respectful of one another. No one was loud or staring at you.
In India when a child became 15 or 16 then he is allowed to roam alone. We stay with our parents almost the whole life in the same house. It's because we have family oriented society. It always good but somethings everyone wants privacy it's little bit difficult.
आपल्या भारतात सगळंच अति आहे... बऱ्याचदा आई वडिलांबाबोबर राहणे नकोसे वाटते... ते किती अपेक्षा ठेवतात.... लग्न झालं कि पालकांचे प्रेम कमी आणि अपेक्षाच वाढत राहतात...
When I've visited Japan, I noticed how amazing Japanese mothers are with their children. So present in the moment with the kid, crouching down to their level to speak with them softly, so gentle. I think Japanese parents might be the most nurturing in the world.
First of all, your baby is adorable 🥰! I raised my children with a more attached parenting style than I was raised. I then encouraged my kids to raise their children with a stronger attachment style of parenting, like the family bed, and training from a point of empathy. This channel just popped up on my feed, and I’m so glad it did!
I 100% agree with the view of having your kid learn how to be empathetic towards other people's feelings (which, in asian countries, tends to be more about group harmony mentality) while also embracing their own individuality. I have a pretty unique experience as I grew up in the U.S. as an Asian American so most of the emphasis in school was on not breaking laws or getting into trouble (you're considered a bad kid if you do so). At home, my mom taught me to be considerate of others and put others needs above your own as I grew up around siblings and I saw that my parents basically always put us (the kids) first before themselves. The way that has affected me (as an adult in his late 20s) is that I have tendencies to be indecisive often because I try my best to be agreeable and pick a decision that would benefit most or everyone else over myself. I'm trying to be myself more (less agreeable especially when there are differences of opinion) and be more decisive, being more considerate of myself. If theres any advice I would impart to new parents or parents with very young kids, I would say that i personally think its a good idea to expose your kids to these situations from both the empathetic ("think of others") mindset and the individual ("think of yourself") mindset and let your kid make the decision themselves. They will make mistakes and thats okay (mistakes are how we grow). Its good to teach your children but at the same time, give them space to think and make their own decisions. They'll grow into their own individual person better when they're forced to make their own decisions based on their own reasoning (rather than the logic/bias that you or others impose on them).
I was raised the same way to be empathetic it’s just sometimes it becomes draining, like you said trying to make sure everyone else is ok when you yourself may not agree. I’m learning that it’s ok to put myself first sometimes. As for my children I raise them to be respectful and empathetic as well as let them know it’s ok to think differently. It’s ok to disagree but just make sure it’s respectful. My family is from a mixed background even though we were born in America I often wonder if this way of parenting was ingrained throughout generations (some Native American and the rest came from Europe, Africa and Asia)
My father's first girlfriend was Japanese, many moons ago. Even when they broke up, and he fathered me with my mother, he retained many Japanese traditions as a way to raise me, whilst combining them with our own, Portuguese ones. Empathy, Responsibility and Love above all, were values I learnt through him, and being given not just toys and friends to play with, but responsibilities as well - which made me feel validated, and strong - independent.
Not sure about the empathy one. If Japanese are so empathetic, why are there so few vegans? Why is there not much of an animal welfare movement there? Why do they not admit refugees? If it's the government, how come I don't see large number of Japanese people begging their government to start accepting refugees? How come Japanese aren't coming to Africa and handing out free food to the starving people in Africa? Are large numbers of Japanese people donating money to build wildlife refuges in other countries to help save their endangered species? Are Japanese people donating bone marrow to strangers?
@@moondog7694 Considering their society and culture, it's fair to say the Japanese are still opening up to things, and to us in general, as for many years it was a closed society. You're right in asking those questions, although I do think it's a matter of time - not lack of empathy.
@@thestudio66 I think it's that more of their empathy is directed inwardly (towards their own family members), thus less is available for outside their own family. Empathy is a zero-sum game. The more you have for strangers, the less you'll have for your own family, and vice-versa. Dr. Ed Dutton says right-wingers are more instinctual. Dr. Bloom says all humans were right-wingers hundreds of years ago. Dr. Satoshi Kanazawa says that leftism can be defined as concern for non-genetically related beings. People of a different nationality, or different race, or different species, or just people outside your own family or not known to you (like not your classmate or coworker), are treated as non-kin, if what SerpentZA says is true. This is what bloggers like JayMan, HBD Chick, etc. say.
In Brazil it's also very common for you to live with your parents when you're an adult. We usually move out for work or after marriage. Or if you decide to leave. I think that's part of the Latin culture.
@@Nezumi-- Californian here. Most young adults here, myself included, still live with our parents, even in the early 20s. (At least it's a very common phenomenon I see within my technically Western community.) I'm sure it's mostly due to the fact that it basically costs $4000 per month to live in a shoebox here in California. In fact, I suggest that the whole taboo of living with your parents here in America is slowly fading due to the mere cost of living, at least in the "big" states such as CA.
Wolfy is indeed a smiley baby; his smiles warms my soul. Another thing, I appreciate how you and Maiko openly talk about how you wanna raise your child or what parenting style you should do. You are awesome parents.
Well, I must be from Japan because I parent like this too! Breastfed, cosleep, only left my babies/kids 1 hour a week every Sunday morning, taught empathy above all else, and sent them to a small Charter school with amazingly healthy lunches served and this school's entire premise was teaching kids values. :) I live in Arizona BTW. Lots of my parent friends also parent this way as well! I love it.
I can't wait to move to Arizona. I'm 36 and never knew my parents (dad left after he found out my mom was pregnant w/ me, mom died shortly after I was born due to complications) My grandparents raised me as best they could but had multiple health problems and accidents so I ended up taking care of them while still in elementary school. And I am still caring for my disabled grandmother to this day. Sorry for the infodump, but I am in FL now and really hope AZ will be way better than here..
I have dark circles like a raccoon right now parenting this way. 😂 But it’s best for the child if the mother is self sacrificing and give everything for the baby.
Chef and columnist Jonah Reider’s best tool to organize a home kitchen is something restaurants give away for free. - ua-cam.com/video/y-dGZXAi1vc/v-deo.html
ARE YOU F..KING serious?? ok let me start by saying Japan is a very veery fake culture.. what they show the world its NOT how they act... ok 1.) Japan has NO children's rights.. so children are basically seen as a piece of furniture and moved around without any respect or understanding of what they child needs and is entitled too as a human being under the children's rights laws which most other countries do have.... 2.) japan does not understand family or custody laws that most countries do.. japan has no laws in place that understand that a child should be allowed to have contact with both parents after a divorce.. they think the kid should only see one parent.. which goes alongside my first point in that they have no childrens rights laws... so they done care if they child sees both parents.. which the rest of the word "modern world" understands is necessary for the Childs mental well being and growth........ 3. Japan is known as the family child abduction capitol of the world..... you just need to google it... 100000s of kids are being taken away from one parent if the other patent isn't happy anymore... and abducted so that one parent cant see them.... I could write about this forever but let me tell you.. you have a false idea of Japanese culture... it has been and long been the country that pretends to be a beautiful sweet place.... until you get caught in itssystem.. 4. Japan have incredibly poor human rights laws.. I mean the laws go back 100s of years and they haven't been changed... Japan may look visually like a lovely place to you.. but let me promise you it is a dark place especially if you are a foreigner and are married to a Japanese.. the country and cultural beliefs will literately eat you alive and you will never recover... and that also goes for Japanese people also.,. the issue with japan is the LACK of empathy for others not how much they teach it,.. lol.. trust me on this.. all the bowing and yes yes yes thank you thank you bow bow bow... its all bullshit... if you were caught in a family issue or had a kid there you would be eaten alive and thrown out like you were a piece of nothing... trust me.. ive seen it millions of times... it is a country that has a huge LACK of empathy for whats cosindered morally right in most developed countries.... good luck
This is only for little kids. When they get to middle school and the brutality begins. Bullying, competitiveness, overstudying. I taught English there. The change in one year in the demeanor of kids going from elementary to middle is tragic.
Education and travel are my passion. That is what drew me to Japan. I am currently a teacher here in Japan, just got here in October 2021. I wanted to know what it was about the Japanese Culture that seemed to create such well-behaved highly educated children. This was my original perspective, coming from the USA and witnessing Japanese students coming into the American school system. Your video on raising children in Japan vs. America is very spot on. Thank you for sharing this. I believe it is a very helpful video for understanding the different societies.😀👨👨👧👧♥ PS you have a very beautiful family and that baby is sooo adorable!
I admire the concept you have of empathy. I am an American and I think we could use more of that here. We are very independent and that is okay to a point. We don't think enough of the group, whether it is our family, our community, our state or our nation.
Japanese parents: "Young children are more than capable of going across town alone to go to school." American parents: "I dont care that you're almost 18, you're not going across the street to the convenience store alone! You'll get kidnapped!"
And American parents are not that wrong... Here in Ukraine, you're in danger the exact second you walked out the door. Especially when it gets warmer and darker outside.
Thank you so much for this video! I am a grandparent of seven and it was shocking for me to learn that I was brought up just like kids in Japan. I am Japanese and my husband is a Caucasian American and my kids are obviously half and half but have carried over much of the same parenting style you show. It explains some shocking behaviors of my parents that I did not understand before, such as sending me to school by myself on public transportation, and not providing lunch. What is unusual in the United States was common and usual in Japan. I understand now that they did this for me out of love and expectation that the community would do their share.
Hey a german here: you also go alone to school here- in fact it is a privilege and if you are accompanied by a parent, it means that you are not one of the big kids yet. Also many people stay here longer at there parents place, so that they have not to worry so much during university or a job training about money and rent.
in Switzerland too, including kindergarten, if you need to cross street, traffic stops, but in the US we have traffic wardens too, but most parents walk together or drive them unless school us comes over to pick up
@@abediegun4545 Ich weiß ja nicht wo sie leben, aber in meinem Ort haben wir enorme Probleme mit Eltern die ihre Kinder unbedingt vor die Schultür fahren müssen. Ich bin selber Japaner und empfinde eher das dass Verhalten unserer Kinder eher dem Gegenteil Japans Kinder entspricht. Aber mir ist bewusst das sich das von Region zu Region unterscheidet, vorallem in den Großstädten.
I lived in Germany in the 1980s as a child, and I walked or took buses to school on my own. When I came back to the States, I was annoyed when my mother started walking me to school or waiting for the bus.
As an elementary school teacher here in Japan, to everyone who now believes Japanese children are raised perfectly-- we still have plenty of children who misbehave in classes, and (despite emphasis of "thinking of others") bullying is still a decently widespread problem. And it is definitely a MAJOR problem that Japanese children become so used to being told what to do that they often cannot think for themselves. Even simple problems they often can't solve on their own... which is really concerning for when they get older. While the Japanese way of raising children definitely has its benefits, there are still many downsides to the child-raising environment here, as well.
Hey, thanks for sharing your thoughts/feeling/experiences with wolfy. It's ensightful and much apprciated. I live in the UK, so there is a bit of cross-over with American culture there (when it came to lunch). However, When I was about 10 I moved to a boarding school and there was a huge shift in how foods was treated, which you might find interesting. It was a small school, so the whole school ate at the same time and each class/group had their assigned table. Meals were different everyday and I would consider them fairly healthy and balanced. These meals would be served out by the "Head" of the table (usually a teacher), the "Server" of the table rotated everyday (anyone else on the table who wasn't the teacher) and they were expected to serve the whole table. The tray of food would then be served out by the Head, Heads of table would make up game to decide who would eat the leftovers (often phrased as "seconds"). The server would then take away any dirty dishes to the kitchen. I have a memory of being a Server one time and carrying a tray of food that was bit heavy (I think it was a pie) ... and I ended up pouring hot gravy down my uniform and scalding my legs. I remeber putting the pie on the floor and running to the toilets to try and run cold water over myself, thankfully a teacher had spotted me struggling and had ran after me to provide aid. I then remember being in floods of tears, naked in a bath with the Matron putting cold water on me (it was a boarding school, of course they had a Matron). A bit of an unusual food/lunch setup compared to my UK- Based peers, but one I think really taught me good manners and gave me an appreciated for different foods and one I hope my own children will be able to learn valuable lessons from.
Being from the states this was a very interesting video to watch. I love the emphasis on safety and empathy when raising children. I feel we lack those key qualities over here. Also, I don't think Wolfy would mind living with both of you at age 34. You seem like very well rounded, loving, caring amazing parents! 💕
Not, quiet, In Japan they have a community system where adults in the neighbourhood lookout for children if they feel uncomfortable because of an adult following them. They can run to the nearest house. It is seriously done when children go and come back from school.
@@thefearlessshaheen2366 ohhh yes I’m one of those people watching the kids 2 or 3 times a month for me coz we do by turn 😊✨ Also school starts from 6 not 5 years olds😅after the kids 6 birthdays and that in befor April. And if your 6th birthday is after the star of school( even 1 day after) than you’ll have to wait for the next year😅
Young Kenobi is already a black belt at 2 years old. By 3, he was breaking concrete with his bare forehead and spinning heel kicks. When he became 4 Young Kenobi self attended a temple where he defeated the sensei and took over the temple. He now lives in a remote village and is still frequently seen breaking concrete with his head.
I am American, my mom was from Japan and yes, I was constantly corrected in terms of empathy - how did I make others feel. It was a bit of a culture clash. I now value being brought up to empathize. I sometimes feel like others here are so self absorbed and can't tell when they offend others. I am older and I can remember walking by myself at 5, a lot of kids did then. That changed in the 70's. And now parents helicopter, there is a lot of fear now.
I mean that makes sense. I don't know why people have a problem with that. Your family is your team. When you're little, you need to be cared for. It feels normal to return the favor when someone needs it. On top of that you love your family so ... that's not a "chore" or "debt that must be repaid". I lived with my Mother for the longest time, and I only moved when I got married. Took care of my Mother before then, I still visit regularly to make sure she lacks for nothing. And I lovingly care for my wife. You look after your own. No need to look further.
Not necessarily, growing up in Louisiana, we had red beans and rice, jambalaya, gumbo, cornbread, shrimp, catfish, etc. I was shocked at what kids got when I moved out of state.
@@aznsugarg I grew up there too. Our HS typically had three lines for food: One with "hot lunch" that rotated each day (where you'd find the Cajun/Creole dishes), then there was the hamburger line, and then the pizza line. I miss authentic Gumbo! I try to cook it, but it doesn't taste the same :)
My mother used to pop me on the bus and wave goodbye from the time I was five. I am from the country and school buses were heavily used. I also would play outdoors in the woods for hours unsupervised. Maybe I am just old
Maybe it was the nation or area you grew up in. Some places in the city I grew up in I would not be hanging around at night, even today as a 30yr old man.
Young Kenobi is already a black belt at 2 years old. By 3, he was breaking concrete with his bare forehead and spinning heel kicks. When he became 4 Young Kenobi self attended a temple where he defeated the sensei and took over the temple. He now lives in a remote village and is still frequently seen breaking concrete with his head.
Same here in Vietnam. Discipline aiming to make parents look good in the eyes of other people instead of for the character development of the children.
@@animationspace8550 I would think the law that was written on us since after Jesus Leviticus 18:7 gives us the impression that it’s wrong and I wouldn’t doubt it either. Regardless follow the light and accept Jesus Christ as lord and savior before it’s too late. Today is the day of salvation
Fascinating and informative. We can't just take what works in Japan and bring it to the US as we are culturally so different. Thanks for this piece since I can't travel. Get to learn about the people without leaving home.
@@CynthiaLevy-o2llol exactly. But as an Asian American immigrant, empathy just doesn’t work here. It’s all about me me me, whoever is the loudest, the most aggressive, the most persuasive.
Wow. This helps me understand my wonderful mother. Thank you!!! . She was raised in Japan, but I was raised in the U.S. The way she raised me was so different from how my American friends were raised.
For the most part I feel like that mentality of "you need to move out at 18 and support yourself" is mostly a white people thing. I have friends of different cultures and me being Mexican, a good majority of us still live with parents.
I think you misinterpret their comment 🤔 They were just explaining that it's a lot normal for Americans and Europeans to move out of their parents home compared to Asians and Latin Americans We find it odd since we don't live with that kind of system and probably vise versa to them
It’s really not just white people but I think the reason behind that mentality is because of how independent Americans are and how family values aren’t as strong with Americans compared to Mexicans Americans,Depending on the family, but most times if a kid can afford to move out in America they take the chance. I keep referring to Americans in third person but to make it clear I’m an American lol
I went to school alone when i was 6, but i was the only kid to do that. My classmates were picked up every day by their parents, i was sometimes quite jealous 😂
Young Kenobi is already a black belt at 2 years old. By 3, he was breaking concrete with his bare forehead and spinning heel kicks. When he became 4 Young Kenobi self attended a temple where he defeated the sensei and took over the temple. He now lives in a remote village and is still frequently seen breaking concrete with his head.
@@realhehe @Muhammad Tayyab obviously. people of a darker complexion are still responsible | for most of | the crimes. we're basically bringing over people from 3rd world countries just so that rich dudes can further exploit them. pro-immigrant | politicians are the most | racist, foul creatures on earth
Growing up here in USA & back in the 1960's / 1970's , we had a thing such as you mentioned, ( group discipline ) . Be it by friendly neighbor , in school and such. Sometime after that I believe that went away, mostly in big cities or at lease my experience.
This was fascinating. I'm 2nd generation American so even growing up here my family had a very different idea of how to raise/treat children then many of my classmates. Honestly, I think that multi-cultural influences make the best humans.
some japanese moms: "think about their feelings, you don't wanna hurt them don't you?" my mom: *proceeds to get the belt, or slipper* "you never learn huh!?!?" INSTANT CRYING
I relate to this so much, though with honesty it kinda depends on what I did, how my mum was initially feeling, and if she was being logical enough to see if I would learn anything. (Edit: My father is not the empathy guy though. Even when he doesn't hit me it is more like "Don't do this because I say so". He isn't japanese though.)
I always wonder how Japanese feel about themselves as individuals in a society, and Maiko shares her precious opinion about how one may lose his/her own identity by always being considerate for others. It sounds bitter to me but then i understand culture is always a thing to respect. I learn something by watching this video. Thanks Maiko, Paolo, and mighty Wolfy.
I have also wondered about this as well, and I also wonder if that's also been a cause for their high rates of suicide. Like they feel like they have to keep things bottled up because of always having to think of others first. It also makes me think if many of the relationships in Japan are more superficial as a result.
@@janetslater129 The number one cause of suicides in Japan is senior citizens committing suicides due to incurable diseases and not be a burden for their families. This is why some Japanese people are wanting legalize euthanasia.
Nice video Paolo. It shows an interesting, central point of Japanese socialization - fostering both a strong sense of interdependence (living harmoniously and taking care of each other) as well as independence. It seems like a contradiction, but that’s how it is!
in a way, it made me think how we do the exact opposite in other places.. like, in australia, there's a strong push towards (toxic) indepdence, where a kid who's turned 18 is expected to move out of the house and be self-sufficient etc, but at no point growing up are kids actually given the room to LEARN any real independence. at schools, we never get to make real decisions, or have real input, without teachers being there to monitor it every step of the way. That's a contradiction too, but the opposite way around O.o
@@Nezumi-- Good point. (It’s the same in Canada, where I grew up.) But I guess I should mention that there’s another side of things here in Japan... yes, school / school life aims to foster independence, but at home most Japanese parents (especially moms) are really controlling and don’t let kids make many decisions on their own. Just to be fair.
Here in U.S, we have the term "helicopter parents." This seems to be a common way of parenting now here, where parents watch their kid's every move. In some instances, the police have even been called when kids are seen walking alone.
That's because it's so dangerous. My mom experienced an attempted abduction walking to school in the 1950's! Crime is out of control in the US. Children are often the targets. So sad.
@@kay4732 Actually, the kids in the US are statistically no more in danger than they were in the 80s. It's just the cultural shift and being exposed to when children do go missing due to the Internet and media reporting.
Children are very rarely abducted in Japan. Most of them are a result of child custody disputes and involve foreigners. Much less reason to worry like in the US
@@kay4732 Children are rarely abducted in the U. S. According to Reuters: On average, fewer than 350 people under the age of 21 have been abducted by strangers in the United States per year since 2010, the FBI says. From 2010 through 2017, the most recent data available, the number has ranged from a low of 303 in 2016 to a high of 384 in 2011 with no clear directional trend."
Paolo this series is really interesting and made me really happy because I really want to go to japan so thank you soooo much for doing this!! Lot of love from Quebec!
Yes, Paolo’s positive energy is great - and his videos too, of course. You live in Quebec? I’m from Vancouver, but Quebec City and Montreal are two of my favorite places. Anyway, I’ve lived in Japan for almost 20 years now, and it really is an amazing place. What kind of things are you interested in seeing? I have a channel too (based in central Japan, not Tokyo area) and I’m open to ideas, if you have any requests!
@@Jordan-inJapan I would love to see the whole city, feeling, meet new people, eat a lot, and I would love to go there with my family or my friends! I guess the nature is also amazing like the sakuras and fuji-san.
@@noavr1308 Sounds great! I hope this pandemic wraps up soon so we can all enjoy traveling again! Even though I live in Japan, i’ve been avoiding all the big cities lately, just to be safe. I’ll leave you with a link to a video I made about the the Sakura-viewing tradition here. It’s not slick like Paolo’s videos, but I hope you still enjoy it! (I’m working hard to make better and better videos...) ua-cam.com/video/vnJm1wr0FzA/v-deo.html
I'm American, and I only lived in Japan for 18 months, but so much of this style of parenting resonated with me. The "mom suffering for her kids" I first saw in the movie Tampopo, and I remember thinking "that is the kind of mom I will be!" I did sleep with my children, and bathe with them through elementary school, because it was more water efficient and we had a big enough shower. I think the Japanese tradition of ofuro, having the whole family bathe in the hot tub together, explains a lot--if your house doesn't have central heating, then you have to warm up before bed. My mother raised us to think of others, the Japanese way, but my mother grew up in South Africa--I think that I didn't have 100% American-style childhood myself. Another thing from Japan that I tried to teach my children is "interdependence." For example, my children take turns doing everyone's laundry, not just their own, the way Americans do. I DO encourage their critical thinking and individuality, though. I think my children are much better "world citizens" because of this mix of Japanese and American parenting.
All of this is like a culture shock as I read everyone’s comments. I live in Australia and I have never heard of children kicked out of their parents’ homes. It sounds shocking and extremely cruel. I always thought that children only left home on the day they married.
Oh yeah. One of the researchers who studies Hikikomori in Japan (that's the young people who refuse to leave their rooms) said that at least Japanese parents let them stay. He pointed to how many homeless young people we have in the US living on the streets! It's a crisis.@@smithface8791
I've learned a lot from your videos. I am planning to live in Japan, and there is some downside that is popping out in every research I browse, but I believe that when you love the place and go for the dream you want, you will live there happily. Thanks for Sharing Paolo & Maila, including Wofly- Super Kawaii.
oh please keep researching.. Japan are and is the king of facade.. its one of the best countries of showing what they want people to see of Japan.,. they are experts.. japan will eat you alive if you have any soul or feelings... you better be a robot if you live there otherwise you will get eaten alive eventually. one of the biggest pretend warm cultures ive ever know..
The kids in Japan are like that little girl in “Spirited Away”, running to off to magical adventures on their own? Sounds dangerous to this old American.
It's different for so many reasons, not just crime. In the states roads and other infrastructure is pretty much made for cars. In Japan there is a better balance towards pedestrians. And people will look out for the kids, as their own kids will have done the same journeys and so will have they. So it is much less dangerous in Japan for them to do this. But, just like any other (western) parent....I would be quite nervous the first few times :) They even had a show on tv where they would send small kids out to do errands to teach them how to do things safely.....of course the entire journey was filmed to show the parents it was fine.
No offense, but there is a belief in the US that the US is the best country ever created, hence living in the US must be better than elsewhere. But it's just not true. In my experience, the only thing that's better in the US is marketing making you believe something is good although it's totally not. Like DJ Trump 😂
@@leherion4276 The US is better than dictatorships, and absolutely oppressive countries but to argue it's absolute perfection is selling something, For one thing, Instructing of any kind isn't properly enforced in the US and in the end people just go, Eh whatever doesn't matter. Along with individualism, it creates the idea that you yourself matter more than the other guy, despite giving people the illusion of absolute freedom in things.
Japan is one of the safest countries, if not the safest country, in the world for children and women. They don't live in fear of being abducted to one of Jeffrey Epstein's buddies pedophile mansion.
Greetings from Germany! Interesting what I saw. What is very special to me is how young people live at their parents home for so long... I was happy to be on my own at 21. This was good for me.
I can’t stop thinking about how the Japanese teach their kids about right and wrong. It’s so much better to ask them how others may feel than to just say, if you do this or that you go to jail.
Well, I guess I was more like a japanese Mom to my child. He did sleep in the Familybed up until he was seven. He walked to school alone right after his first day and he likes his veggies. But he prefers them raw. But he doesn't like to take a bath with me. I live in Germany btw.
I really enjoy your raising kids videos in Japan as a mixed cultured couple. I'm in a similar boat just kinda researching to see where I would like to raise my kid ideally. I feel like, specially in the early years, Japan does a lot of things right. Their kids are very respectful and responsible. Excited to see more vids from you both. Thank you for sharing with us your experiences.
The sleeping thing is normal for me cause I’ve slept in the same bed as my parents and brother for years, and I also slept in the same room as my parents as a baby.
ua-cam.com/video/MbyC2FlsFhU/v-deo.html Watch a Day in the Life of Wolfy
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You really don't need to rush when delivering the sponsor's message. The message gets lost when you are talking so so fast. 😀
Hi paolo
English Subtitles please
Everyone is misunderstanding.
Individuality and compassion can coexist.
Japanese people are unique, aren't they?
Japan is also unique, isn't it?
We can make high quality products because we think about people.
Loved the video! A lot of child rearing is the same around the world. However, as a retired Social Worker, bathing with your opposite sex parent after the age of 3 or 4 is highly inappropriate! I don't care what culture you're from. When a child starts to become very inquisitive about sexual parts, it's time to stop bathing with them. It's very difficult to teach children personal boundaries when parents are still bathing with them, never mind the discomfort for either of them. You have to remember when child rearing, things are different from when you were little compared to now. For example, I would not be letting my 5 year old roam a city by themselves with so many wackos out there that's for sure. There's so many other ways to teach children independence. 💙🕊️🕊️💙
After watching a documentary about how Japanese children are raised through attachment parenting, I decided early on to raise my children similarly (co-sleeping, wearing them in a sling for the first year of their life, co-bathing, always having them with me 100% of the time, etc.). Now they are 13 yo and 8 yo. They are the best kids in the world. They are considerate, confident, compassionate and self-disciplined. It was the best decision for my family!
❤️❤️
What documentary!
Thank you for making the world a better place ❤
I do the same.
do you remember the name of the documentary?
As a Hispanic, it’s also very common for young adults and adults to live at home. I find interesting why there’s a “rush” to kick your child out at a certain age
American Culture is awful. My parents are both immigrants, we just ignore American culture. Family loves and takes care of each other. That should be the norm.
@@michaelo8622 I moved out at 18 because I wanted my own space and privacy. I still love and support my family, but not from under the same roof.
@@cskiller86 A lot of American families want their kids to be independent and start their lives and make a living for them self's and understand how "hard" the real world is. So usually when your 18 you graduate from high school and expected to go to college and just have your life begin. Its a little sad yah know
Your parents wanna get freaky
Abd keep the passion / spice in their
Relationship.
Much like Craig's parents from the movie
Friday .
Its only a white thing.
My parents don’t want me walking alone in a city and I’m 19 lol
Update : 22 now and never expected this reaction from my comment 😂💀 …Parents still don’t want me walking alone. Obviously for good reasons
Same lol
Impossible i walk out alone almost every time and my Parents doesn't give a shit about it 15 btw
Honestly just probably depends on where you are at and how dangerous it is...hell I don't even want to walk anywhere alone and Im in my 20s lol
same here my my folks dont let me out unless they can have a servant go along with me....... feels infuriating but thats how life in the Third World is I suppose
@@cathhl2440 I actually live in a very small town lol it’s very safe everyone know one another
Teaching children to consider the feelings of others and having this be a community effort explains why everything in Japan stays so clean and nice. Everyone is raised to be thoughtful.
Sometimes Westerners in Jtend to present social harmony and and personal development as inherently opposites rather than as mutually compatible and necessary.
Yes and the crime rate is so low as well.
Man ngl I just want to experience Japan for like several years. Their standards of living is beautiful and where my mind is at as compared to the U.S. The U.S. is basically a dumpster.
@@777rogerf because we live in a world of extremes. And that will be the end of us. I guarantee it.
@@En3rgyLee that’s a gross exaggeration. It’s a dumpster in certain cities, but others it’s quite clean. Like, you can’t compare NYC, which is quite literally a cesspool, to say, where I live. It’s quiet and clean here where I am. Also this is a big country. You can’t make sweeping statements like that here.
I really like that empathy is taught to kids. We need that in the US
It is taught but some kids just either don’t know any better or just don’t care
@@hat4hat Because it isn't enforced and in the end people just go, Eh whatever. Along with individualism, it creates the idea that you yourself matter more than the other guy, despite giving people the illusion of absolute freedom in things.
Empathy is not "taught". Kids learn it from observing in parents and adults. If adults have no empathy, the kids won't have it either.
@@user-du9ip3tb6s So yeah, the parents "teach" them.. so it it indeed "taught" LMFAO
Not just US but everywhere ❤️🥰
Japanese Schools: Have nutritionists to make sure that students get healthy meals.
American Schools: What’s a Nutritionist?
Canadian high school cafeterias(back in my day): Greasy pizza, Mexi-fries, chilli cheese fries and some parents give their kids lunch telling them not to get unhealthy food from the cafeteria.
Also America: pizza is a vegetable and part of a healthy balanced meal
Who needs nutritionist in America honestly
@@Castle3179 really, I'm also from Canada but since I was young they would make heathy breakfasts and lunch. In high school the students made the lunches which is a option course you get credits for you would have to pay for or go to the foods room, usually has a snack a fruit or vegetable with a sandwich. Of course in elementary either teachers or helpers would make the food for people who don't have food. Maybe because we live in different areas and every school I'm from talks about how you need a heathy diet in every grade makes the difference or age difference.
We pick the one who bid the lowest price for our future generations!
At 16 my mum decided she had done her job raising me and said I was old enough to live on my own ! I'm 41 now and have 3 wonderful children, my eldest is 21 and I would never dream of asking them to move out. I love having them at home.
How did you find a place to stay? Where did you find food? How did you afford your education? I am asking cause i might be in that situation in a few months.
@@TheWorkshop298 I was lucky enough to find a full time job so could afford to rent a house. I had nothing to put in it, not even a bed so for quite a while I slept on the floor. I got the basics that I needed as cheaply as I could or bought second hand items. Once I found my feet I replaced those items with ones that would last .
@@jessesmith8388 me neither. I don't understand how a mother could do that !
That is why the elderly in the west lead a lonely life in their old age. If you kick your child out at 16 then how can you expect them to bond with in your old age. I feel so bad for old people in the west.
@@rm3015 it really is very sad how some parents are in a rush to say they have done raising their children. The thought of my children maybe wanting to move out one day really upsets me. I love having them around me at home. I've told them their never leaving 😂
I agree with showing children how their actions affects those around them, instead of telling them that they are wrong and are grounded for how they treated someone.
Yeahh apparently the Inuit do something similar!
Its a common theme in eastern and indigenous cultures, focusing on the plural rather than the singular
I actually might use this on my kid one day. The West has a serious lack of empathy in that regard and it tears our society apart at the seams.
Wolfie's hairstyle looking like he growing beansprouts 🌱
Pikmin lol
Hahahahahahah this comment 🤣
I just realized, that hairstyle is the hairstyle of the baby from "the incredibles", you know the one who had the power to materialize in to fire ball, metal etc.
@@abirhasankhan9327 Jack Jack in the English version.
@@stormveil Ah yes. I forgot his name lol
Several years ago a group of Japanese students visited my American high school for a couple weeks and their reaction to our lunches made me realize we were being fed garbage. Like I knew it, and we all wished it were better, but seeing their reaction just cemented that in my mind. Our food was trash. And the funny thing is that when people try to improve standards and make it healthier the parents go on a rampage about it to preserve the trash food because their kids won't eat healthier food. The trash starts at home I guess.
They try to fund it but the city keeps picking to put it in teachers salary instead
Tell your govt. not to spend 730 billion dollars on defence ..Divert this money to education and food and health
People wanna pop kids out and not parent. You have to feed your kid nutritious food. Snacks and junk food are okay sometimes but the bulk of their food must be healthy so they can start off on the right footing.
An exchange student came from Sweden and thought the same thing about cafeteria food in the local high school. In Sweden the students meals are almost like home cooked dinners.
Not only that, but they tried to go healthy, but the budget didn’t change, so we got things that tasted like cardboard. It was cheap stuff and some students blamed the cafeteria ladies for it when they were just working with what they were given.
It's always so cool so see how people's voices sound different when speaking different languages. 🤩
Yep.
With me, when speaking Japanese my voice is higher
@@MellowMellancholly me too!
@@MellowMellancholly same
@@MellowMellancholly waaaay higher in my case XD
@@poopburgerfakename8532
lllll
I'm from Finland, and some parts of this video sounded very familiar to me, like kids going to school on their own, schools serving healthy lunches, and families bathing together (but here it's just sauna instead of baths). While there are lots of differences between Finland and Japan, I've always felt some sort of connection to their culture. There are things we share.
I’d like to visit Finland some day!
フィンランド好き♡
I was to say the same. And in Finland you don't have to pay for the lunch, it's offered by the city. The lunch is free also in lukio (~high school/ koukou), it is only until universities and colleges you have to pay for it, but it is very cheap, like three euros a meal.
The sauna culture is perhaps changing, but traditionally families have bathed in sauna all together, so seeing your family members naked is no big deal. Some people here are more concerned their privacy than others, sometimes for personal reasons more than for adapted culture, but I think that younger people are more bashful than older generations.
I'd say the only difference or the core for the only differences between us Nordics (I'm Swedish Norwegian) and Japan comes from Japan being a collective society to a fault and a more conservative culture. While we're not pure individualist as like the US (which takes that to a fault) we certainly share the thinking about the collective but we're still much more individualist compared to Japan and definitely a lot less conservative
@@pink_alligator ..just do not fall close to, or in to the bad books of the Norway Child Services, even slightly,
..they at times have severely over-reacted and removed children for egotistacal reasons of office with power over all citizens, with no oversight over some of their higher level staff's 'opinionated' decisions that were later found to be morally incorrect to the many situations, for decades.
This video is what family UA-cam channels should be like.
Today we're going to starbucks
Give our children a ipad and then buy a jetski!
True
Agree
Yeah also I like your pfp
"WE USED DAD's CREDIT CARD TO BUY $150000 worth of game skins/ power-ups!!!"
Respect to moms and dads for all the sacrifices parents make raising us!
@@twootakua_ typical millennial crying baby..so weak..booo
@@twootakua_ God created the family so the Dad and Mom give wisdom and love to their children...do you still live with your parents?
Anyone can make children but not every one is a parent. Well intended umbrella statement but unfortunately not the case with many people.
@@mhaz1862 who raised those weak babies then? 😅
Nah
Your son is so super cute!
you’ve arrived.
You're late
You're everywhere
Im here
STOP!!Don't pop up everywhere :)))
My mom took pride in having us all kicked out by the time we were 18. I grew up in the states.
I struggled and starved through university trying to get bills paid while being a full-time student. Since I had no safety net anyway, I moved to the other side of the planet. I live in Japan now.
In preparation for having my own children, I insisted we build on to the house in such a way that our children would be comfortable staying with us as adults if they so choose.
Beautiful story.
I want to read your book all about it.
🧚🏻♀️
You are a brave woman, you should be proud of yourself. hope u have a beautiful life.'
Love u mom...way to ❤️❤️
In latinamerica you'll have to kick your kids out or they'll stay until 45 years old literally 😅
Your kids are always your kids. Turfing them out at 18 is not good parenting.
My Japanese mother family rules:
1. Respect and honor your parents and elders.
2. Kyoukan or empathy (迷惑を かけない)
3. Shoujiki or honesty, integrity.
4. Ganbatte! Try your best! But really, perfection or kanpeki (完璧) in all you do to reach enlightenment.
5. Save one-half your paycheck.
6. The group or team is more important than you, the individual.
7. And the list goes on an on.
8. And don't forget to send your child to the grocery store or neighbor's house to pickup things alone starting at age 4.
9. When I walked to school, there were signs reminding us of correct behavior.
10. Once at school, we formed up in the courtyard at the position of 'attention' and the principal would stand out in front of us and yell, "Dainippon teikoku, tenno heika . . ." And we shout and raise our hands up in the air, "Banzai, banzai, banzai.!"
11. It was an unspoken taboo in my family to send your aging parents to a nursing home. See rule 1. As an adult, I lived with my aging parents and took care of them. If someone asked me where I lived. I would say with my parents. If the person asking the question was American. They would give me a strange look. But if the person was Japanese they gave me an approving look or they would say, 'good son.' Fortunately, I have three brothers and two sisters. We all took turns living with our aging parents. Both died in their beds in their home sleeping next to one of their siblings.
#6 is the complete opposite in a western country. Like the US. #11 is what most asian countries do which Americans find weird. 🤔
Confuse about no10...what its mean? School motto?
What school did you go to??? Is that a public school. I'm asking because of No. 10. It sounds like something that would've been done during WWII. Went to Jp public schools decades ago here.
@@vlowolvtake1797 Yes. Japanese public school during WWII.
@@gordongekko4752 Ohhh I see. Makes sense. Interesting that except for 1 item and the rest haven't changed ☺️
Turtle approved.
First bitwit and now Paulo too? Diverse
You were just on a Radio TTS video, the fuck is going on?? 😭💔
Turtle, I see you everywhere,that's 4 videos I've watched today approved by you & 5 yesterday,we must have the same taste! Lol 😁
This is the only approval that counts
What will win.
A sea turtle or a Costco bulk size of plastic straws
Living with parents
India: 90% of them live with parents until either of them die
@@jaychun102 China is super dirty too, so dirty in fact that they caused a global pandemic again.
@@TheShahkulu I think India is worst, more dirty than China, no doubt.
@@jaychun102 India is a subcontinent, countries within a country... Many states are dirty but few aren't...also, not all Indians look black/brown...
@@rangod1532 racists
@@warrior9326 how am I racist? Do u even know the meaning of a racist? 😂
I really find it good that young children are taught to clean up the classrooms themselves instead of having a janitor or cleaning person do it. When children do the cleaning themselves they respect for the cleaning people instead of having everything done for them.
Wolfy is so happy. When he smiles it makes me smile. You both are amazing parents!
Thank you for sharing your beautiful son's life.
When you do something wrong.
Japan parents: shows empathy.
Filipino parents: pulls out slippers, hangers.
😂😂😂 so true....
My parents: pulls out belt
Super angry parents: buckle side of belt
@@weltschmertzz OUCH! DOUBLE OUCH!!
in public tho:
Filipino parents: whispers* nakakahiya! (it's shameful/embarassing!)
My Parents: Sees a wallpaper with Anime girl on my phone
*After 2 hours of flank and spank*
STOP WATCHING CARTOONS ITS FOR KIDS
I love how Maiko's perspective on the empathy with the community vs. losing one's individuality. I think this is one of the advantages of having parents from different cultures - kids get to have a balance of both.
#Agree
Yep I definitely lost myself here in Japan for thinking of others waaayyy tooo much
I loved your video! I went to Japan a few years back and found it very interesting. My daughter and I were very impressed at how people were so quiet and unintrusive . Even in a big city like Tokyo you didn’t feel overwhelmed by all the people because they were all so respectful of one another. No one was loud or staring at you.
In India when a child became 15 or 16 then he is allowed to roam alone. We stay with our parents almost the whole life in the same house. It's because we have family oriented society. It always good but somethings everyone wants privacy it's little bit difficult.
आपल्या भारतात सगळंच अति आहे... बऱ्याचदा आई वडिलांबाबोबर राहणे नकोसे वाटते... ते किती अपेक्षा ठेवतात.... लग्न झालं कि पालकांचे प्रेम कमी आणि अपेक्षाच वाढत राहतात...
i am 8 i am fro india i go alone to store
i have roamed alone in my apartment I have not went alone in the town i only go to the store or temple or park
"He's such a smiley boy!" says the smiley man.
😊😁
I was looking for this comment, because I had the same thought lol 😁
When I've visited Japan, I noticed how amazing Japanese mothers are with their children. So present in the moment with the kid, crouching down to their level to speak with them softly, so gentle. I think Japanese parents might be the most nurturing in the world.
Japan has a serious child abuse problem. I wouldn't say Japanese parents are any more or less nurturing than any other group.
@@R1DDL3RS I'm just going off of what I saw personally US parents vs. Japanese parents.
@@ToriHalfon It wasn't a personal attack, I just think its important to be honest about Japan.
@@R1DDL3RS no offense taken. Was just clarifying that I wasn't basing my statement on any statistics, just what I observed.
@@ToriHalfon Ah fair enough. Glad that this was a productive exchange.
First of all, your baby is adorable 🥰! I raised my children with a more attached parenting style than I was raised. I then encouraged my kids to raise their children with a stronger attachment style of parenting, like the family bed, and training from a point of empathy. This channel just popped up on my feed, and I’m so glad it did!
I 100% agree with the view of having your kid learn how to be empathetic towards other people's feelings (which, in asian countries, tends to be more about group harmony mentality) while also embracing their own individuality.
I have a pretty unique experience as I grew up in the U.S. as an Asian American so most of the emphasis in school was on not breaking laws or getting into trouble (you're considered a bad kid if you do so). At home, my mom taught me to be considerate of others and put others needs above your own as I grew up around siblings and I saw that my parents basically always put us (the kids) first before themselves. The way that has affected me (as an adult in his late 20s) is that I have tendencies to be indecisive often because I try my best to be agreeable and pick a decision that would benefit most or everyone else over myself. I'm trying to be myself more (less agreeable especially when there are differences of opinion) and be more decisive, being more considerate of myself.
If theres any advice I would impart to new parents or parents with very young kids, I would say that i personally think its a good idea to expose your kids to these situations from both the empathetic ("think of others") mindset and the individual ("think of yourself") mindset and let your kid make the decision themselves. They will make mistakes and thats okay (mistakes are how we grow). Its good to teach your children but at the same time, give them space to think and make their own decisions. They'll grow into their own individual person better when they're forced to make their own decisions based on their own reasoning (rather than the logic/bias that you or others impose on them).
Sounds like awesome advice to me!
@@Jordan-inJapan I agree!🤩💯✨
I've just be blessed with the words of a true sage
I was raised the same way to be empathetic it’s just sometimes it becomes draining, like you said trying to make sure everyone else is ok when you yourself may not agree. I’m learning that it’s ok to put myself first sometimes. As for my children I raise them to be respectful and empathetic as well as let them know it’s ok to think differently. It’s ok to disagree but just make sure it’s respectful.
My family is from a mixed background even though we were born in America I often wonder if this way of parenting was ingrained throughout generations (some Native American and the rest came from Europe, Africa and Asia)
My father's first girlfriend was Japanese, many moons ago. Even when they broke up, and he fathered me with my mother, he retained many Japanese traditions as a way to raise me, whilst combining them with our own, Portuguese ones. Empathy, Responsibility and Love above all, were values I learnt through him, and being given not just toys and friends to play with, but responsibilities as well - which made me feel validated, and strong - independent.
Not sure about the empathy one. If Japanese are so empathetic, why are there so few vegans? Why is there not much of an animal welfare movement there? Why do they not admit refugees? If it's the government, how come I don't see large number of Japanese people begging their government to start accepting refugees? How come Japanese aren't coming to Africa and handing out free food to the starving people in Africa? Are large numbers of Japanese people donating money to build wildlife refuges in other countries to help save their endangered species? Are Japanese people donating bone marrow to strangers?
@@moondog7694 Considering their society and culture, it's fair to say the Japanese are still opening up to things, and to us in general, as for many years it was a closed society. You're right in asking those questions, although I do think it's a matter of time - not lack of empathy.
@@thestudio66 I think it's that more of their empathy is directed inwardly (towards their own family members), thus less is available for outside their own family. Empathy is a zero-sum game. The more you have for strangers, the less you'll have for your own family, and vice-versa. Dr. Ed Dutton says right-wingers are more instinctual. Dr. Bloom says all humans were right-wingers hundreds of years ago. Dr. Satoshi Kanazawa says that leftism can be defined as concern for non-genetically related beings. People of a different nationality, or different race, or different species, or just people outside your own family or not known to you (like not your classmate or coworker), are treated as non-kin, if what SerpentZA says is true. This is what bloggers like JayMan, HBD Chick, etc. say.
well spoken
@@anaypatil2932
Perfect, I was just about to eat dinner.
My mother taught me that too. "would you like it, if someone invaded you space or get loud in your ear?" Empathy is so so important
In Brazil it's also very common for you to live with your parents when you're an adult. We usually move out for work or after marriage. Or if you decide to leave. I think that's part of the Latin culture.
Its the same in the Philippines
honestly i think it's normal the world over, only the anglo-saxon/western countries seem to think that toxic independence is a good idea >.>
Same in India
@@Nezumi-- Californian here. Most young adults here, myself included, still live with our parents, even in the early 20s. (At least it's a very common phenomenon I see within my technically Western community.) I'm sure it's mostly due to the fact that it basically costs $4000 per month to live in a shoebox here in California. In fact, I suggest that the whole taboo of living with your parents here in America is slowly fading due to the mere cost of living, at least in the "big" states such as CA.
Same in Montenegro and Serbia.
Finally I was getting bored and Paolo dropped a good video
Wolfy is indeed a smiley baby; his smiles warms my soul. Another thing, I appreciate how you and Maiko openly talk about how you wanna raise your child or what parenting style you should do. You are awesome parents.
Well, I must be from Japan because I parent like this too! Breastfed, cosleep, only left my babies/kids 1 hour a week every Sunday morning, taught empathy above all else, and sent them to a small Charter school with amazingly healthy lunches served and this school's entire premise was teaching kids values. :) I live in Arizona BTW. Lots of my parent friends also parent this way as well! I love it.
I can't wait to move to Arizona. I'm 36 and never knew my parents (dad left after he found out my mom was pregnant w/ me, mom died shortly after I was born due to complications)
My grandparents raised me as best they could but had multiple health problems and accidents so I ended up taking care of them while still in elementary school. And I am still caring for my disabled grandmother to this day.
Sorry for the infodump, but I am in FL now and really hope AZ will be way better than here..
I have dark circles like a raccoon right now parenting this way. 😂
But it’s best for the child if the mother is self sacrificing and give everything for the baby.
Here in Philippines, you can live with your parents as long as you want too
Same for most Latin families as well
I miss Makati sometimes.
In India too
You can even bring a gf/bf to live with your parents too
@@lasvegasnevada7514 Poor parents
Day in the Life of a Japanese Voice Actor?
YES!!!!
Matsuoka!!!
@@kasanetetosimp9545 He's just going to be nervous the entire time
brook from one piece please kuya paolo!!!! yohohohoho
OMG YES PLEASE 😭😭😭
Great timing. I was just wondering what I should watch.
Chef and columnist Jonah Reider’s best tool to organize a home kitchen is something restaurants give away for free. - ua-cam.com/video/y-dGZXAi1vc/v-deo.html
It is so touching how sweet this country's culture is - especially how they cultivate empathy! What beautiful souls!
ARE YOU F..KING serious?? ok let me start by saying Japan is a very veery fake culture.. what they show the world its NOT how they act... ok 1.) Japan has NO children's rights.. so children are basically seen as a piece of furniture and moved around without any respect or understanding of what they child needs and is entitled too as a human being under the children's rights laws which most other countries do have....
2.) japan does not understand family or custody laws that most countries do.. japan has no laws in place that understand that a child should be allowed to have contact with both parents after a divorce.. they think the kid should only see one parent.. which goes alongside my first point in that they have no childrens rights laws... so they done care if they child sees both parents.. which the rest of the word "modern world" understands is necessary for the Childs mental well being and growth........
3. Japan is known as the family child abduction capitol of the world..... you just need to google it... 100000s of kids are being taken away from one parent if the other patent isn't happy anymore... and abducted so that one parent cant see them.... I could write about this forever but let me tell you.. you have a false idea of Japanese culture... it has been and long been the country that pretends to be a beautiful sweet place.... until you get caught in itssystem..
4. Japan have incredibly poor human rights laws.. I mean the laws go back 100s of years and they haven't been changed... Japan may look visually like a lovely place to you.. but let me promise you it is a dark place especially if you are a foreigner and are married to a Japanese.. the country and cultural beliefs will literately eat you alive and you will never recover... and that also goes for Japanese people also.,.
the issue with japan is the LACK of empathy for others not how much they teach it,.. lol.. trust me on this.. all the bowing and yes yes yes thank you thank you bow bow bow... its all bullshit... if you were caught in a family issue or had a kid there you would be eaten alive and thrown out like you were a piece of nothing... trust me.. ive seen it millions of times... it is a country that has a huge LACK of empathy for whats cosindered morally right in most developed countries.... good luck
This is only for little kids. When they get to middle school and the brutality begins. Bullying, competitiveness, overstudying. I taught English there. The change in one year in the demeanor of kids going from elementary to middle is tragic.
Education and travel are my passion. That is what drew me to Japan. I am currently a teacher here in Japan, just got here in October 2021. I wanted to know what it was about the Japanese Culture that seemed to create such well-behaved highly educated children. This was my original perspective, coming from the USA and witnessing Japanese students coming into the American school system. Your video on raising children in Japan vs. America is very spot on. Thank you for sharing this. I believe it is a very helpful video for understanding the different societies.😀👨👨👧👧♥ PS you have a very beautiful family and that baby is sooo adorable!
I admire the concept you have of empathy. I am an American and I think we could use more of that here. We are very independent and that is okay to a point. We don't think enough of the group, whether it is our family, our community, our state or our nation.
Japanese parents: "Young children are more than capable of going across town alone to go to school."
American parents: "I dont care that you're almost 18, you're not going across the street to the convenience store alone! You'll get kidnapped!"
just look at all human trafficking that goes on all over the world.
And American parents are not that wrong... Here in Ukraine, you're in danger the exact second you walked out the door. Especially when it gets warmer and darker outside.
Lmao what, I got to go out at like age 12 idk what country you’re in. And America is more dangerous than Japan so yeahh, kinda understandable haha.
@@yallaintit exactly. Japan isn't as dangerous because the crime rate is low.
@Aries BBA3 Thats nothing to show off , flaunt , or laugh about 😐
Thank you so much for this video! I am a grandparent of seven and it was shocking for me to learn that I was brought up just like kids in Japan. I am Japanese and my husband is a Caucasian American and my kids are obviously half and half but have carried over much of the same parenting style you show. It explains some shocking behaviors of my parents that I did not understand before, such as sending me to school by myself on public transportation, and not providing lunch. What is unusual in the United States was common and usual in Japan. I understand now that they did this for me out of love and expectation that the community would do their share.
Hey a german here: you also go alone to school here- in fact it is a privilege and if you are accompanied by a parent, it means that you are not one of the big kids yet. Also many people stay here longer at there parents place, so that they have not to worry so much during university or a job training about money and rent.
in Switzerland too, including kindergarten, if you need to cross street, traffic stops,
but in the US we have traffic wardens too, but most parents walk together or drive them unless school us comes over to pick up
@@abediegun4545 Ich weiß ja nicht wo sie leben, aber in meinem Ort haben wir enorme Probleme mit Eltern die ihre Kinder unbedingt vor die Schultür fahren müssen. Ich bin selber Japaner und empfinde eher das dass Verhalten unserer Kinder eher dem Gegenteil Japans Kinder entspricht. Aber mir ist bewusst das sich das von Region zu Region unterscheidet, vorallem in den Großstädten.
I lived in Germany in the 1980s as a child, and I walked or took buses to school on my own. When I came back to the States, I was annoyed when my mother started walking me to school or waiting for the bus.
@@xiagm-kemasmfadlic150 LMAO Die Macht wird wieder vereint meine Kameraden!
Wolfy looks like he’s starting to enjoy his bath time. He’s such a sweet little boy. ♥️
As an elementary school teacher here in Japan, to everyone who now believes Japanese children are raised perfectly-- we still have plenty of children who misbehave in classes, and (despite emphasis of "thinking of others") bullying is still a decently widespread problem. And it is definitely a MAJOR problem that Japanese children become so used to being told what to do that they often cannot think for themselves. Even simple problems they often can't solve on their own... which is really concerning for when they get older.
While the Japanese way of raising children definitely has its benefits, there are still many downsides to the child-raising environment here, as well.
Do you have any legitimate sources with factual statistics on this? Im a native Japanese and never heard of this being a “MAJOR problem”.
Hey, thanks for sharing your thoughts/feeling/experiences with wolfy. It's ensightful and much apprciated.
I live in the UK, so there is a bit of cross-over with American culture there (when it came to lunch). However, When I was about 10 I moved to a boarding school and there was a huge shift in how foods was treated, which you might find interesting.
It was a small school, so the whole school ate at the same time and each class/group had their assigned table. Meals were different everyday and I would consider them fairly healthy and balanced. These meals would be served out by the "Head" of the table (usually a teacher), the "Server" of the table rotated everyday (anyone else on the table who wasn't the teacher) and they were expected to serve the whole table. The tray of food would then be served out by the Head, Heads of table would make up game to decide who would eat the leftovers (often phrased as "seconds"). The server would then take away any dirty dishes to the kitchen.
I have a memory of being a Server one time and carrying a tray of food that was bit heavy (I think it was a pie) ... and I ended up pouring hot gravy down my uniform and scalding my legs. I remeber putting the pie on the floor and running to the toilets to try and run cold water over myself, thankfully a teacher had spotted me struggling and had ran after me to provide aid. I then remember being in floods of tears, naked in a bath with the Matron putting cold water on me (it was a boarding school, of course they had a Matron).
A bit of an unusual food/lunch setup compared to my UK- Based peers, but one I think really taught me good manners and gave me an appreciated for different foods and one I hope my own children will be able to learn valuable lessons from.
Being from the states this was a very interesting video to watch. I love the emphasis on safety and empathy when raising children. I feel we lack those key qualities over here. Also, I don't think Wolfy would mind living with both of you at age 34. You seem like very well rounded, loving, caring amazing parents! 💕
I am from Texas. I love the Japanese way and culture so much.
Me being age 11 to even go to school alone
Japanese kids: HA JOKES ON YOU I WAS A TODDLER WHEN THAT HAPPENED
Not, quiet, In Japan they have a community system where adults in the neighbourhood lookout for children if they feel uncomfortable because of an adult following them. They can run to the nearest house. It is seriously done when children go and come back from school.
@@thefearlessshaheen2366 ohhh yes I’m one of those people watching the kids 2 or 3 times a month for me coz we do by turn 😊✨
Also school starts from 6 not 5 years olds😅after the kids 6 birthdays and that in befor April. And if your 6th birthday is after the star of school( even 1 day after) than you’ll have to wait for the next year😅
@@thefearlessshaheen2366 so parents in the neighborhood take turns secretly following the kids to make sure they get to school safe?
Me who wandered alone in a forest age 3: AMATEURS
Young Kenobi is already a black belt at 2 years old. By 3, he was breaking concrete with his bare forehead and spinning heel kicks. When he became 4 Young Kenobi self attended a temple where he defeated the sensei and took over the temple. He now lives in a remote village and is still frequently seen breaking concrete with his head.
I am American, my mom was from Japan and yes, I was constantly corrected in terms of empathy - how did I make others feel. It was a bit of a culture clash. I now value being brought up to empathize. I sometimes feel like others here are so self absorbed and can't tell when they offend others. I am older and I can remember walking by myself at 5, a lot of kids did then. That changed in the 70's. And now parents helicopter, there is a lot of fear now.
Everything that you described fits with my teaching and parenting believes. Japan, you should be so proud.
Maiko’s perspective is awesome to have! Please have her in more videos!
in mother russia kids raise parents.
LOL
True
Why did I read that in a Russian tone
In SOVIET Russia...
No you get beatin' up if do that
You guys are so sweet and look like great parents. I loved this video!
I live with my mom and I'm 34. I don't live off, rather I take care of her, though.
I mean that makes sense. I don't know why people have a problem with that. Your family is your team. When you're little, you need to be cared for. It feels normal to return the favor when someone needs it. On top of that you love your family so ... that's not a "chore" or "debt that must be repaid".
I lived with my Mother for the longest time, and I only moved when I got married. Took care of my Mother before then, I still visit regularly to make sure she lacks for nothing.
And I lovingly care for my wife. You look after your own. No need to look further.
I'm sure it's your house tho right?...😐
Every American has that mystery meat burger that no one would ever eat from school.
Lie, people will eat it :)
Not necessarily, growing up in Louisiana, we had red beans and rice, jambalaya, gumbo, cornbread, shrimp, catfish, etc. I was shocked at what kids got when I moved out of state.
@@aznsugarg Jambalaya is awesome!
@@aznsugarg same in Indiana there was not a day I did not have steak or meat loaf. California as well
@@aznsugarg I grew up there too. Our HS typically had three lines for food: One with "hot lunch" that rotated each day (where you'd find the Cajun/Creole dishes), then there was the hamburger line, and then the pizza line. I miss authentic Gumbo! I try to cook it, but it doesn't taste the same :)
My mother used to pop me on the bus and wave goodbye from the time I was five. I am from the country and school buses were heavily used. I also would play outdoors in the woods for hours unsupervised. Maybe I am just old
Maybe it was the nation or area you grew up in. Some places in the city I grew up in I would not be hanging around at night, even today as a 30yr old man.
The same
Young Kenobi is already a black belt at 2 years old. By 3, he was breaking concrete with his bare forehead and spinning heel kicks. When he became 4 Young Kenobi self attended a temple where he defeated the sensei and took over the temple. He now lives in a remote village and is still frequently seen breaking concrete with his head.
they mean city buses, not school buses
Thanks for sharing. Very happy to know japenese children get balanced food.
Wish everybody a nice weekend here, and I love the channel:) great work paolo keep it up.
Thank you very much!
@@PaolofromTOKYO I loved that video, you did a very good job of "talking" as Wolfie, Paolo!!!
Regarding the empathy part, my culture goes like this: Kid does something bad. Parent says, "other people are going to say I'm a bad parent."
Exactly
is that how it is in china too? cuz i grew up in an overseas chinese family in my country and i remember my dad talking like that
Kinda sounds like gaslighting 😅
(Mother Gothel vibes)
@@MillyKKitty in India too
Same here in Vietnam. Discipline aiming to make parents look good in the eyes of other people instead of for the character development of the children.
Omg if I had to take a bath with my mom at 10 years old I would've died.
Why?
@@vekholu786 It would feel so weird XD
@@animationspace8550 I would think the law that was written on us since after Jesus Leviticus 18:7 gives us the impression that it’s wrong and I wouldn’t doubt it either. Regardless follow the light and accept Jesus Christ as lord and savior before it’s too late. Today is the day of salvation
@@XManiiakX bruh what
@@RaginPancakes it's a bot
Fascinating and informative. We can't just take what works in Japan and bring it to the US as we are culturally so different. Thanks for this piece since I can't travel. Get to learn about the people without leaving home.
Empathy and teaching good manners is a world-wide phenomenon.
@@CynthiaLevy-o2llol exactly. But as an Asian American immigrant, empathy just doesn’t work here. It’s all about me me me, whoever is the loudest, the most aggressive, the most persuasive.
that adorable child waiting for the bus with the huge backpack and bag was too cute
What time stamp please
@@Parami01 10:41 ?
@@eila5292 thanks
Wow. This helps me understand my wonderful mother. Thank you!!! . She was raised in Japan, but I was raised in the U.S. The way she raised me was so different from how my American friends were raised.
You might actually have gotten the best of Japan and the USA.
For the most part I feel like that mentality of "you need to move out at 18 and support yourself" is mostly a white people thing. I have friends of different cultures and me being Mexican, a good majority of us still live with parents.
White as well, but we didn't have that mentality along the line of my family.😂
What has skin colour got to do with it? You guys have culture but we have skin colour? Talk about implicit bias.
I think you misinterpret their comment 🤔
They were just explaining that it's a lot normal for Americans and Europeans to move out of their parents home compared to Asians and Latin Americans
We find it odd since we don't live with that kind of system and probably vise versa to them
Jup, in asian culture its still common to live with your parents till you marry someone, especially for women
It’s really not just white people but I think the reason behind that mentality is because of how independent Americans are and how family values aren’t as strong with Americans compared to Mexicans Americans,Depending on the family, but most times if a kid can afford to move out in America they take the chance. I keep referring to Americans in third person but to make it clear I’m an American lol
Thank you for sharing this video. I found it interesting and it was kind of enlightening.
I went to school alone when i was 6, but i was the only kid to do that. My classmates were picked up every day by their parents, i was sometimes quite jealous 😂
Dam😂😂😂😔
oh no a kid attending school alone, like 95% of the population. so hard.
Pls that was me too, but I found it fun to be alone lol
Japan is really safe to live that’s why I love Japan
Young Kenobi is already a black belt at 2 years old. By 3, he was breaking concrete with his bare forehead and spinning heel kicks. When he became 4 Young Kenobi self attended a temple where he defeated the sensei and took over the temple. He now lives in a remote village and is still frequently seen breaking concrete with his head.
@@ParasiteHater yo dude what's wrong with you?????
@@realhehe how else would you explain our insane crime rate?
@@ParasiteHater not all dark skinned people are bad and there are many other white people who do bad stuff.
@@realhehe @Muhammad Tayyab obviously. people of a darker complexion are still responsible | for most of | the crimes. we're basically bringing over people from 3rd world countries just so that rich dudes can further exploit them. pro-immigrant | politicians are the most | racist, foul creatures on earth
Your son is so cute. I love learning about other cultures and you never say someone else’s way is wrong.
As an American Anthropologist I feel this video is an amazing contribution to other people bridging the gap of cultural understanding.
Ķ
Wolfy is such a happy healthy baby. You two are doing a great job at parenting.
Growing up here in USA & back in the 1960's / 1970's , we had a thing such as you mentioned, ( group discipline ) . Be it by friendly neighbor , in school and such. Sometime after that I believe that went away, mostly in big cities or at lease my experience.
She is so cute! I loved hearing her talk about Japanese culture. I learned so much
This was fascinating. I'm 2nd generation American so even growing up here my family had a very different idea of how to raise/treat children then many of my classmates. Honestly, I think that multi-cultural influences make the best humans.
Multi-cultural influences are not always good.
some japanese moms: "think about their feelings, you don't wanna hurt them don't you?"
my mom: *proceeds to get the belt, or slipper* "you never learn huh!?!?"
INSTANT CRYING
Southeast asian mom: "DO THAT AGAIN AND I'M CANING YOU!"
yeessssss
I relate to this so much, though with honesty it kinda depends on what I did, how my mum was initially feeling, and if she was being logical enough to see if I would learn anything. (Edit: My father is not the empathy guy though. Even when he doesn't hit me it is more like "Don't do this because I say so". He isn't japanese though.)
belt?u mean the mob?
My mom be like : so u have choosen death
I always wonder how Japanese feel about themselves as individuals in a society, and Maiko shares her precious opinion about how one may lose his/her own identity by always being considerate for others. It sounds bitter to me but then i understand culture is always a thing to respect. I learn something by watching this video. Thanks Maiko, Paolo, and mighty Wolfy.
I have also wondered about this as well, and I also wonder if that's also been a cause for their high rates of suicide. Like they feel like they have to keep things bottled up because of always having to think of others first. It also makes me think if many of the relationships in Japan are more superficial as a result.
@@janetslater129 The number one cause of suicides in Japan is senior citizens committing suicides due to incurable diseases and not be a burden for their families. This is why some Japanese people are wanting legalize euthanasia.
日本人もいつでも他人のことばかり気にしてる訳じゃないですよ、人間なので。
我儘な人もたくさんいるし、逆に他人のことばかり気にしている人は「八方美人」とか「風見鶏」と言われて非難される場合もあります
日本は資源が少なく災害が多い国です。互いに力を合わせる必要があります。風土的にデメリットが多い国なので、大陸的な個人主義では日本はここまでの国にならなかったと思います。コロナでもお互いを意識して守って死亡者数が他国よりも少ない部類でした。労働環境も改善されつつあり、自殺率もコロナ禍で少し上がりましたが、基本的には自殺率は2009年から年々低下しています。因みに日本は長寿大国で健康寿命１位です。事故死や殺害が少なく医療保障の水準も高く、高齢にならないと自殺以外の理由で死ぬことは滅多にないので、死亡原因に自殺が目立ってしまうのは仕方がないと思います。
日本人はアイデンティティを失っているように見られがちです。いろんな人がいるのでそういう人もいます。でも私は他国の人の方が日本人より不自由に感じることもあります。私たち日本人は自由のボーダーラインがハッキリしていて、基本的に「他人に迷惑をかけないこと」なら自由がかなり尊重されます。だからこそ衝突が少なく、日本は文化や表現が多様なのだと思います。他国の人と比べて縛られている面もあれば、他国の人よりアイデンティティが信用されて自由な面も多くあります。
@@akinasukizakuraWell said, thank you.
Nice video Paolo. It shows an interesting, central point of Japanese socialization - fostering both a strong sense of interdependence (living harmoniously and taking care of each other) as well as independence. It seems like a contradiction, but that’s how it is!
in a way, it made me think how we do the exact opposite in other places..
like, in australia, there's a strong push towards (toxic) indepdence, where a kid who's turned 18 is expected to move out of the house and be self-sufficient etc, but at no point growing up are kids actually given the room to LEARN any real independence. at schools, we never get to make real decisions, or have real input, without teachers being there to monitor it every step of the way.
That's a contradiction too, but the opposite way around O.o
@@Nezumi-- Good point. (It’s the same in Canada, where I grew up.) But I guess I should mention that there’s another side of things here in Japan... yes, school / school life aims to foster independence, but at home most Japanese parents (especially moms) are really controlling and don’t let kids make many decisions on their own. Just to be fair.
it's all about bonding with the baby. The first months and years are crucial
I think babies can bond with dad too. It doesn't have to be all on the mom. Dads should let women have some time to themselves.
Here in U.S, we have the term "helicopter parents." This seems to be a common way of parenting now here, where parents watch their kid's every move. In some instances, the police have even been called when kids are seen walking alone.
That's because it's so dangerous. My mom experienced an attempted abduction walking to school in the 1950's! Crime is out of control in the US. Children are often the targets. So sad.
@@kay4732 Actually, the kids in the US are statistically no more in danger than they were in the 80s. It's just the cultural shift and being exposed to when children do go missing due to the Internet and media reporting.
Children are very rarely abducted in Japan. Most of them are a result of child custody disputes and involve foreigners. Much less reason to worry like in the US
@@kay4732 Children are rarely abducted in the U. S. According to Reuters: On average, fewer than 350 people under the age of 21 have been abducted by strangers in the United States per year since 2010, the FBI says. From 2010 through 2017, the most recent data available, the number has ranged from a low of 303 in 2016 to a high of 384 in 2011 with no clear directional trend."
also known as: authoritarianism.
Wolfy is absolutely precious 😭💗
The more I learn about Japanese culture, the more I feel like I’d be very comfortable there. Love your videos!
All mentioned in the video are pretty much how kids are raised in Asia. Love it, it brought back the memories. Glad I came across this video.
Except in China. There is everything wrong with the modern Chinese society. Just sick to my stomach what I saw.
I’m so happy I found this channel! I love watching you interact, you seem like really cool people. Cheers from Quebec, Canada 🇨🇦
Paolo this series is really interesting and made me really happy because I really want to go to japan so thank you soooo much for doing this!! Lot of love from Quebec!
Yes, Paolo’s positive energy is great - and his videos too, of course. You live in Quebec? I’m from Vancouver, but Quebec City and Montreal are two of my favorite places. Anyway, I’ve lived in Japan for almost 20 years now, and it really is an amazing place. What kind of things are you interested in seeing? I have a channel too (based in central Japan, not Tokyo area) and I’m open to ideas, if you have any requests!
@@Jordan-inJapan I would love to see the whole city, feeling, meet new people, eat a lot, and I would love to go there with my family or my friends! I guess the nature is also amazing like the sakuras and fuji-san.
@@noavr1308 Sounds great! I hope this pandemic wraps up soon so we can all enjoy traveling again! Even though I live in Japan, i’ve been avoiding all the big cities lately, just to be safe.
I’ll leave you with a link to a video I made about the the Sakura-viewing tradition here. It’s not slick like Paolo’s videos, but I hope you still enjoy it! (I’m working hard to make better and better videos...)
ua-cam.com/video/vnJm1wr0FzA/v-deo.html
I'm American, and I only lived in Japan for 18 months, but so much of this style of parenting resonated with me. The "mom suffering for her kids" I first saw in the movie Tampopo, and I remember thinking "that is the kind of mom I will be!" I did sleep with my children, and bathe with them through elementary school, because it was more water efficient and we had a big enough shower. I think the Japanese tradition of ofuro, having the whole family bathe in the hot tub together, explains a lot--if your house doesn't have central heating, then you have to warm up before bed. My mother raised us to think of others, the Japanese way, but my mother grew up in South Africa--I think that I didn't have 100% American-style childhood myself. Another thing from Japan that I tried to teach my children is "interdependence." For example, my children take turns doing everyone's laundry, not just their own, the way Americans do. I DO encourage their critical thinking and individuality, though. I think my children are much better "world citizens" because of this mix of Japanese and American parenting.
All of this is like a culture shock as I read everyone’s comments. I live in Australia and I have never heard of children kicked out of their parents’ homes. It sounds shocking and extremely cruel. I always thought that children only left home on the day they married.
Oh yeah. One of the researchers who studies Hikikomori in Japan (that's the young people who refuse to leave their rooms) said that at least Japanese parents let them stay. He pointed to how many homeless young people we have in the US living on the streets! It's a crisis.@@smithface8791
I've learned a lot from your videos. I am planning to live in Japan, and there is some downside that is popping out in every research I browse, but I believe that when you love the place and go for the dream you want, you will live there happily. Thanks for Sharing Paolo & Maila, including Wofly- Super Kawaii.
oh please keep researching.. Japan are and is the king of facade.. its one of the best countries of showing what they want people to see of Japan.,. they are experts.. japan will eat you alive if you have any soul or feelings... you better be a robot if you live there otherwise you will get eaten alive eventually. one of the biggest pretend warm cultures ive ever know..
When you do something wrong.
Japan parents: shows empathy.
my parents; stop or you will feel my hand in your face
me ; what
my parents ; SLAAAP
Parents:"DONT TALK BACK TO ME!"
Me: "but I didnt say anythin..."
*SLAP!*
Me with Indian parents:
me: But I didn't do anything wron-
my parents: S L A P!
@@cy3bercat Somehow, your profile pic made that sound so much worse lol
“No lunch for a week”
I am Indian and my parents don't hit me much they only slap me when I am very bad
The kids in Japan are like that little girl in “Spirited Away”, running to off to magical adventures on their own? Sounds dangerous to this old American.
Jeff Stumpf - right? But much less crime in Japan.
It's different for so many reasons, not just crime. In the states roads and other infrastructure is pretty much made for cars. In Japan there is a better balance towards pedestrians.
And people will look out for the kids, as their own kids will have done the same journeys and so will have they.
So it is much less dangerous in Japan for them to do this.
But, just like any other (western) parent....I would be quite nervous the first few times :)
They even had a show on tv where they would send small kids out to do errands to teach them how to do things safely.....of course the entire journey was filmed to show the parents it was fine.
No offense, but there is a belief in the US that the US is the best country ever created, hence living in the US must be better than elsewhere. But it's just not true. In my experience, the only thing that's better in the US is marketing making you believe something is good although it's totally not. Like DJ Trump 😂
@@leherion4276 The US is better than dictatorships, and absolutely oppressive countries but to argue it's absolute perfection
is selling something, For one thing, Instructing of any kind isn't properly enforced in the US and in the end people just go, Eh whatever doesn't matter. Along with individualism, it creates the idea that you yourself matter more than the other guy, despite giving people the illusion of absolute freedom in things.
Japan is one of the safest countries, if not the safest country, in the world for children and women. They don't live in fear of being abducted to one of Jeffrey Epstein's buddies pedophile mansion.
oh my god that single bunch of hair sticking straight up on his head is adorable
Greetings from Germany! Interesting what I saw. What is very special to me is how young people live at their parents home for so long... I was happy to be on my own at 21. This was good for me.
I can’t stop thinking about how the Japanese teach their kids about right and wrong. It’s so much better to ask them how others may feel than to just say, if you do this or that you go to jail.
This way of raising is just so humble - I may use some of these into consideration if I ever have kids when I’m older 😊
Well, I guess I was more like a japanese Mom to my child. He did sleep in the Familybed up until he was seven. He walked to school alone right after his first day and he likes his veggies. But he prefers them raw. But he doesn't like to take a bath with me. I live in Germany btw.
It’s creepy to sleep with your kid that long.
@@ThunderStruck15 wtf?? i nap with my mom still sometimes and i’m in my 20’s. its only weird if u think that way 🤨
I really enjoy your raising kids videos in Japan as a mixed cultured couple. I'm in a similar boat just kinda researching to see where I would like to raise my kid ideally. I feel like, specially in the early years, Japan does a lot of things right. Their kids are very respectful and responsible. Excited to see more vids from you both. Thank you for sharing with us your experiences.
The sleeping thing is normal for me cause I’ve slept in the same bed as my parents and brother for years, and I also slept in the same room as my parents as a baby.
really love your lighting, makes me feel like im actually there
I’m an Asian who just moved to the states,expecting my first child and the school’s lunch menu is already stressing me out 😅
Don't stress about that. It's much better than it used to be.
Wait there are menus?!
@@echowings0 yes, something that happened at a federal level at the end of the Obama administration into trump administration
@@echowings0 there are waiters as well now in schools
I obviously don't know about your situation, but I still can't help but wonder WHY did you move to the US of all places?