Overcoming Barriers To Executive Function (EXAMPLES from daily life)
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- Опубліковано 25 лип 2024
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Autism and executive functioning skills can affect the way we need to tackle everyday tasks. Sometimes overcomming barriers to executive fuction is as easy as giving ourselves permission to do it 'my way'. Other times, it's important to prioritize what's most important and focus on that.
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🎞️Timestamps:
0:00 - Intro
0:19 - Executive Function Challenges - getting stuff done
2:17 - Look for ways to remove barriers
5:25 - How necessary is that? Can I get away with less?
8:50 - Book Recomendation: Switch
9:40 - Remembering when it's too late. Should I just start again?
10:57 - fake ending...
11:20 - The hardest part...
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Staring at nothingness for 50 minutes straight, not feeling sad, not anything, just stuck 🤷♀️
Because I have to… call the insurance company, or wash the dishes, or anything else just as ‘easy’ as that.
Like… whyyyyy, man. It drives me crazy
thought i was the only one, doesn't happen often but sometimes when i need to do something and i'm really worn out mentally, i just sit in a chair and wait, no purpose, no reasoning, just sitting there like a knob 🤷
I can relate to this so much.
@@traceycrawford9938 me too
Oh I replied but it seems to have been deleted, idk why?
I found an answer, see my comment above
Yup!
Thank you very much for your channel. There are a lot of channels on autism, but your's resonates the best with me. You are able to properly analyze your symptoms, explains them very clearly, and offer useful tips. I also feel like the way autism works for you is very similar to how it works for me, compared to other channels I have seen. Thank you so much for making it a little easier on me.
Ditto to this! 💖
Yes me too, I really appreciate your channel. At first when I began to suspect that I have autism I was only watching women and then I saw that some women identify more with the male autism and also learned that there are more trans and non-binary people among the autistic community.... Separating traits into male and female isn't maybe the best way to do it. Starting to see some content made by guys has been helpful to me. I feel like I can understand Paul very easily and identify with a lot of things he talks about
You are taking the words out of my mouth!
@Paul: I love the way you do your videos, especially this one, it is authentic and inspiring! You are exactly on the same wavelength as me! Maybe because I am also an engineer (computer science)? I also love your way of "going meta". Just the right level and also just the right speed and just the right intonation. Just your way of speaking is already very calming and reinvigorating. Thank you so much!!
Indeed
This is great Paul, thank you. As an artist, I have four tables in my studio: one permanently set up for painting, one permanently set up for drawing & computer work, the third is mobile and for putting reference books on (I sometimes have several books open at a time) so I can wheel it around to wherever I need it, and the fourth is for eating and putting random things on that don't have anything to do with art! I used to live and work entirely from the same space, and while I believed I was being resourceful and minimalist, it actually made executive functioning, and especially task-switching, really difficult, because like you mentioned, I had to keep packing things up and getting things out, and that's a lot harder than it seems for my autistic brain! Having separate spaces already set up for separate tasks is great, so I can just dive straight into things when I need to, but I do appreciate you need enough space to do that. It has a bonus effect though, as when people come over to visit, it's like all the stuff I have out has a purpose, so it's not just random clutter (overcoming another barrier to inviting people over because I never knew how to get my space looking presentable - yay)!
I also eat the same things every day to reduce that pressure. Washing dishes is a challenge, and that seems quite common.. At the moment, I make sure I only have one of everything (one plate, one cup, one fork, one spoon etc) so I am forced to wash it up and I don't end up with a pile (which I know will end up sitting there for ages because my brain just sees chaos and confusion). Normally this tactic works ok, except if I'm really tired or burnt out. Could possibly do with getting an 'emergency supply' for those times..
Yes, there are definitely some executive function things I struggle with all the time regardless, and some I only struggle with when I'm tired. So, for me, it's kind of worth being able to tell the difference, and creating a system for each. Thanks again for all your work!
I've found I can get some dishes and kitchen tidying up done while I wait for water to boil while making coffee. It's been a better habit than just mindlessly scrolling through my phone.
So wish i could talk with you Heather about setting up my studio space so i can actually WORK in it! Trying to see if there is a way to save this so i can reread it when i am not so tired. What i did read sounded very sensible!
I found that really helpful, Heather. Half of my bedroom is a studio with a huge workbench and storage cabinets. Unfortunately, since retirement it's become a dumping ground for so much stuff, mainly photography equipment and also lots of new art materials (in a futile attempt to kick start my art again, except that I don't have room to do any because of all the new materials and equipment, lol). You've given me the idea of thinking about what I actually need to use and store everything else (or give some to charity) so that I've got the space to start working again. :)
Wow, I so want to respond here! But my phone battery is dying and my blood sugar crashing because I haven't gotten up to switch tasks. So, I'll leave this mini comment and bookmark my brain to properly reapond later. But I'll so far say that I love what you've done!!! And I've done much the same! ... okay, food...
This is a brilliant idea! I wish I could adopt it and set up a working space for each type of work, but for now I don't have enough space. I see how it can massively help in getting into the right headspace as well.
I appreciate that you put visuals in because I find it really difficult to focus on just auditory recordings without a visual aid.
My executive function I’ve struggled with a lot throughout life. Homework was almost never done, even in primary school where 99% of kids were completing it. As an adult, it’s housework (I have to leave 90% of it to my husband), making lunches (can you say “up&go”), cooking dinner (husband does 99% of those), making appointments/phone calls (can take me months or years sometimes), paperwork/banking (husband does 100%), running errands 60% to husband). My EF is really truly low. It’s a huge obstacle and it’s so hard to explain without sounding lazy. NTs don’t get it at all. It used to send me into severe depression because I felt worthless. That was before I knew what it was and that it’s a real thing that I will never be great at, but I do hope I can find ways to help make it easier to get things done.
I struggle with the point "setting up things to be ready" and being visually overwhelmed. I can't tolerate "visual clutter". On the other hand "out of sight, out of mind" - implicating struggles besides executive functioning problems to start.
Simplifying my life in general helps a lot (minimalism). And to appreciate my routines and rituals.
I am incredibly visual as well, and cannot stand even messy closets. II can't put mess behind a door because *I* know it's there...and it must be cleaned. I've recently done what Marion suggested...beautiful bottles and nice, matching labels. It stuns me how much easier that has made cleaning for me!
I've come to realize one of my biggest executive function issues is completing a task. I will avoid starting a task because the idea of carrying it to completion is too overwhelming. I've finally figured out that it's helpful to me to leave one or two dishes in the sink or one or two pieces of clothing unfolded when I work because it makes it more likely that I will *initiate* the task and instead of 20 dishes or a whole basket of laundry now I only have 1 or 2 bits of the mess still laying around. Also placing items to be easily accessible as you mentioned. If it's where I can see it and easily grab it I'm much more likely to use it then if it's shoved in the back of a closet somewhere.
Helps me to thinking of my routines and structure as a good way of managing executive functioning instead of seeing them as rigidity, inflexibility or lack of spontaneity. Thank you.
This explains to me why I can consistently do things that are completely routine but when I have to stop and make small decisions about things, I get stuck.
I did something similar when I got a dog. I got her specifically so that I would have to get outside for a few minutes every day and build up how long I could walk around the parking lot with her. (Rehabing myself after illness) But I hated having more executive function tasks in my life.
So, I made it as easy as possible for myself. I decided that while I was getting used to having her, wearing my slippers to take her out was acceptable. And then moved on to very easy to slip on sandals.
I kept and still keep her leash right by the door with her baggies attached to the leash.
And I trained her to do/not do things in a way that makes having her as easy as possible for me. Like coming to the door with me, sitting on a designated rug, and putting her head down and holding still so I can very easily put her leash on. (She likes the training and likes having a routine and a task.)
For me, training is fun and easy. But having to go through a bazillion steps to get something done is enough to cause an internal meltdown for me. The more of those steps I can eliminate, the better. And the more routine I make them, the less confusing and overwhelming it is when I am feeling stressed
So, now my dog knows exactly what we are going to do next and where I want her to be. She sits at the next place she's supposed to be happily wagging her tail.
And that helps me because if I'm feeling really stressed I sometimes forget what's next. But she remembers, so that helps me to remember and feel a little less overwhelmed.
I don't know if that will help anyone unless they have a dog who they feel like training.
But I think it's a decent example of making a task as easy as possible. And even accepting a less than perfect action while you're getting used to a task. Like deciding that it's temporarily okay to wear your slilpers outside.
And I ment to show an example of how executive function is easier for me if I create a routine. Even if I didn't have my dog to remind me of what's next, I think the routine would still help the process of getting a series of stuff done to feel like an easier task.
Anyway, I hope that helps someone.
I did the same thing!
My dog is the best trained dog in the neighborhood and we get compliments on his behavior frequently. He’s my little hero because he knows what I need, when I need it and how to remind me of what’s next. Dogs are happy when they’ve made us happy and they love learning! 11 years in and I am still so grateful for him everyday! Hug your pup for me! 😊
@@sandyatkinson200 Awe, that's so sweet!!! I've only had my pup for 8 months so far. But she's a rescue, so she's trying extra hard. You're right that they love having a task and making us happy. That's part of the reason why I've trained mine so much. She was making her own anxiety worse, and mine in the process, because she was just all over the place and confused. So, I just taught her what to do. I don't think she knows what to do yet as well as your baby does. But it does help us both that she tries.
My kitties help to take care of me, too. My Amour kitty has been with me for 15 years. And my Bunny kitty has been with me for 3. They both harass me mercilessly when I don't notice that I need to eat or go to bed. And they mew when I start talking to myself pre-meltdown. For years they have been my reason to get out of bed each day.
I don't know what we'd do without our furbabies.
Give a hug to your sweet pup for me, too. 💖🐾🐶
Love the term life admin. Being in a single-person household means that I have to figure out how to get the life admin done somehow, whether I spend my best energy on it, my worst energy on it, or farm it out to someone else.
Executive function got totally tripped up by the slide show presentation 😂 Had to restart once I realised, as I hadn’t taken in anything you’d said.
A perfect practical example!
My favorite hack for dressing appropriatelly at home (though works best for women, not for men) is buy simple good looking dresses from comfortable material like cotton or viscose ... thanks to which they look like good looking day dress but i can sleep in them too (the only difference from an average nightdress is just they dont look that silly during the day). Great benefit is when someone suddenly comes when i was sleeping (or phone rings about a delivery man comming) i can completely skip the step of panicking about how to quickly make myself presentable ;)
I'm sure I'm not the only one who primarily listens to audio only on youtube. This style (naturally) didn't bother me at all. Thanks for the great content as always!
DEFINITELY agree with the whole thing of setting up some sensible routine for myself, setting my artistic tools up so that it's quick and easy to access and use them in an instant - structuring times and reasons and sections of my space where certain activities ought to take place. The repeating wardrobe thing is helpful so long as you're not concerned with anyone noticing. I figure as long as things are easier for myself, I could care less how unorthodox the method is. Also - break down tasks into smaller tasks. Keep track of the steps that need to be completed for each task, and as best as possible, if you're feeling something isn't budging despite your best effort or you're seeing ONE TASK feels trickier / having trouble solving something - switch over to one of the EASIER things. Sometimes I'll do little bits of several things, and give myself breaks to veg out and do nothing but watch videos. I try to keep track of the "micro tasks" so that when I figure out a solution, sometimes just tackling one small thing can lead to accomplishing many tasks back to back in succession. But it helps to tackle bits and pieces of things, so that if ONE THING isn't able to be completed, you still at least feel like you've completed a few bits of different things.
This video is really what I needed because I am fighting executive function issues currently. My study mentor ghosted me in July, did not apply for a well paid position in August and the company that pays for this, has had a hard time recruiting someone to replace her. I have had to file for extension after extension because of this. I cannot focus because of the constant worry this causes me about being denied an extension. My ADHD also plays a big role in barriers to executive function. Messy desk, remembering to do things even with alarms and reminders going off. I am easily distracted because my mind is distracted by the worry and stress I am under. There is also the messy desk and house around me that causes me to want to escape to outdoors. I try to go to a library but then noise disrupts me. Lack of lockers to secure my valuables if I have to leave to eat, bio break, or something, so that means packing up, and carrying heavy tech around with me. Then there is the OCD aspect of not wanting to take bags into a public restroom. Not finding a free parking spot, breaks the routine and motivation. I live in a somewhat rural suburb of Copenhagen and public transport is an issue along with unaffordable prices.
Another big issue as an autistic is that I get off my routine or my planned schedule for the day. It is very difficult for me to get back on task. Sometimes i just throw up my hands and say screw it. Like yesterday my husband needing to go into the office and him staying up too late the night before and refusing the early ride. I lost the time that I wanted to go to a local university library that has a quiet study area, lockers, etc. Weather can also play a role in my plans. I need to walk to clear my head a lot, and if it is sunny I would take too long of a walk, or if the weather sucks, I may just forgo it. Then constant negative thoughts afterwards, either way. I have had CBT, and tell myself I can do this, but then my ASD rejects this as logical thinking because well, I am entitled to be sad if that is the case. I do not believe in happy thoughts make happy person.
I was concerned about lag on my link when I started to watch, until your text on my screen told me it was not. I do not need a video all the time, it also helps me to focus more on what you are saying.
You’re an inspiration, Paul. I’d work with you in a nanosecond! Thank don’t have ASD, but have executive functioning challenges with ADHD. The exhaustion of having to do those ‘little’ things is not well understood. There is another book that’s be helpful - Atomic Habits by James Clear. It is not specifically aimed at neurodiverse readers, and I find that helpful - it ‘normalises’ the challenges of change, and gives reader permission to make small changes that make it easier to avoid the default of undesirable habits and/or choose desirable habits. The example of setting out your gym shoes and packing your bag the night before is great - by taking those steps you set yourself up to make the decision to go the gym much easier - it’s on your mind to go, and you have the significant bonus of having reduced the anxiety of deciding what to wear and what to bring.
Preparing is difficult but it is healthy - it is an action of honouring to your self.
You are more than enough. ❤
A lot of people do not understand that what sometimes appears to be the simplest of tasks can actually require a huge amount of brain power to even start. The closest analogy I can think of is that almost everything I do is like an airline flight. Everything has to be pre-planned, I have to go through checklists to ensure that everything is properly prepared and set up. Of course, I am able to make adjustments, but everything requires a lot of brain energy to do. It is easy to feel overwhelmed trying to do simple tasks that are completely automatic for most people.
To reiterate the sentiment of some other comments here, thanks so much Paul for this channel-- it has literally changed my world in the last week or so since I've started 'eating' your content up. I had an appointment today with my therapist / psychiatrist and he didn't hesitate to agree with my self assessment that I have autism (it's so new that it's actually somewhat difficult to 'say out loud'..). There is work to be done in terms of official assessment for me personally, but I can't believe how simultaneously freeing and terrifying this realization is... It's like, "Holy crap, it explains so much!" while also being like, "Oh my god, it explains so much....."
It's been a few weeks since I self diagnosed and you put it into words perfectly. Like wow, shock, but also lightbulb , it explains everything!
Good luck
Actually, I found it relaxing to be able to set my phone down and close my eyes for this video. It was peaceful. I did watch the beginning, though, and I thought it was very cleverly done.
Executive function challenges:
1. Figuring out the order of importance.
2. Portal problems. "Oh, I still need to do the dishes and make dinner. Now why am I in the kitchen?"
3. Interruptitis -- myself, demented MIL, others needing my help. . .
4. Damn I hat telephones.
5. Waiting for others to do their piece.
6. What was I supposed to be doing again?
7. What is the most important thing for me to accomplish today?
, , ,
Aaaaahhhhh!!!!!
Good simple words of wisdom followed by the meanderings of struggle to achieve your presentation. It hits home.
I have taken over the house between my wife and I. Everything I have dominion over turns to barely functional clutter. I have so many interests and my work areas are a mess. Electronics, photography, welding, wood turning, stone cutting/polishing, 3D printing, cycling, metal detecting, camping, wood working, and more. Every day I look at the mess and do nothing about it because it causes immense psychic pain to spend any time reclaiming the space. Sometimes I use pot and/or deafening music to address it but mostly nothing.
Thank you for your videos. They do not help but I know I’m not alone.
One of my biggest challenges with executive functioning is dinners. There are so many steps to making a proper dinner every night. There is thinking ahead and planning what you will make, making a grocery list to include everything you will need, hopefully this will be for an entire week which in itself is overwhelming to me, then you must go to the grocery store which is challenging in itself and I will end up going to three different stores to find exactly the item/brand I want/must have. If I manage to accomplish this much I will end up only making some of the meals because of other steps that must follow, including defrosting meat, having enough prep time in the kitchen, getting distracted, other family members moods/desires, and on and on. Most weeks I end up with spoiled veggies and have only partially made the things I planned on.
Yes I have a hard time with dinners too. Taking the meat out of the freezer to thaw is a real barrier, sometimes I won't remember it for 3 days and then end up having to do some vegetarian meals or buy something quick like ground beef or frozen chicken fingers or hotdogs. I also have a hard time remembering my daughter's latest stuff she doesn't like, seems like she doesn't like anything sometimes.
The best thing to do is roast a whole chicken because you're good for 3 days with that, at least with my family. I did that the day before yesterday and then today made salad with some of the chicken and tomorrow I will make it into a soup. I wish everybody else was a bigger fan of soup because it's the perfect food, so easy to make, so good as leftovers, so delicious.
@eM Me and @@heedmydemands Props to both of you for actually cooking with some frequency.👏👏👏I literally only eat frozen meals, take out, and sometimes salad greens from a bag or microwaved frozen veggies because cooking is so challenging for me. And on paper plates no less! So to me, you are both rock stars. : - )
P.S. For the frozen meat issue: I haven't unboxed my Instant Pot yet after purchasing it several YEARS ago (!), but friends have raved about it in part because you can cook from frozen without thawing first, and things apparently turn out really well and cook quickly.
Thank you for the reminder about the benefit of a whole roast chicken for multiple days, @heedmydemands. I walk by the pre-made ones at the grocery store all the time, and that would be so much healthier than some of the junk I eat.
The Minimal Mom raved about the book Cook Once, Eat All Week which uses a similar concept, but with a protein, a starch, and a vegetable that you prep in bulk and use in multiple recipes over days. The recipes give options for special diets, and it's supposedly kid friendly.
I'm on a tear, but last comment(s)!:
Re: Spoiled Veggies/"Wasted" Food:
1) Something that really helped with my guilt and self-recrimination about spoiled veggies and other food "waste" was happening to overhear someone in a cafe say they now view some spoilage as an acceptable cost for having the healthy food there to eat in the first place. What a serendipitous gift!
It's like having a gym membership: you might PREFER to get maximum possible value by going every day, but if you go even a couple times a week and it improves your health, that could be money well spent.
Even restaurants--whose literal business success includes minimizing waste to maximize profit--understand that some excess is inevitable.
2) Frozen veggies often have MORE nutrients than fresh and can be quickly thawed in the microwave and served in the bowl they cooked in (fewer dishes!).
Microwaved broccoli with Italian dressing is one of my go-tos I find genuinely delicious.
3) Crisper drawers might as well be Black Holes for me(!), but putting veggies where they're immediately viewable in the fridge door or on a middle shelf within easy reach really does help me eat more of them and use them up before they go bad.
P.S. Totally agree that soup is awesome! : - D
@@bellaluce7088 wow I might wanna get one of those, I'd definitely like the not having to remember to thaw things out part. I have heard good things about them
I love your content Paul. I have recently been diagnosed (aged 55) and it has helped me enormously to understand my own autism and gain perspective on it. I often listen while I’m making my smoothie in the morning so rarely actually look at the screen! For me it’s the content that matters.
One of my hacks for work that I’ve discovered is have everything packed, right down to the vitamins I’ll be taking the night before.
This might seem counter intuitive, but these days if I have to get on a plane, last two trips, I wait to pack till the morning of the flight. I seem not to forget things that way. (Kind of reverse of how I used to do it)
And picking jobs I don’t need a suit for. I never had the patience for that.
There is nothing I have ever heard that describes me better than this video & somehow it is very liberating.
executive dysfunction is huge for me. shall be popping in for the live. ty paul
At first I thought something was wrong with UA-cam lol this was perfectly explained and thank you for such amazing content explaining executive function. My husband is my executive function lol
Thank you for this video!
I struggle a lot with these things, and its kept me from doing a lot I want to do. Figuring out a perfect routine is difficult for me, because I tend to obsess over getting it perfect and somehow always end up overwhelming myself anyway. I'm slowly getting a handle on one that works for me though. One major difficulty has been that some tasks I can't cut corners on. I have to be really precise and take my time in the actual process of creating my art or it won't come out the way I want it to. When doing my spiritual practice, it would be, in my particular practice anyway, a bit disrespectful to my spirit guides to cut corners. Same thing applies to any healing process I'm working on, therapeutic goals, and anything I'm studying deeply. I have found - I need to honor my need to rest as much as my need to be doing things. I have specific blocks of time during the day where I have scheduled for the most "do," because those times are when I have the most energy during the day and I'm more likely to do the thing. And then I have times after those specifically for doing low-energy tasks or just nothing at all. I have a prep time early in the morning where I check my schedule and find everything I'm going to need for the day's tasks, and put them all within arms reach of where I will need them. That way, when I get to the time I have scheduled to do the thing, my stuff is there and I remove that step like mentioned in the video. Social things take way more energy for me than most other tasks though, so if I have to make phone calls or go places with people that day, I will probably not be putting much else on my schedule if anything, because I know it will overload me if I try to do more.
Executive function hacks are fantastic!
I found a plain black tagless tshirt that is sensory perfection, so I bought several. Not deciding what shirt I'm going to wear is just one way streamlining my life helps 💜
Thats why i loved school uniforms for my daughter so much when we had 6months abroad.
Tell me where can I find EF hacks? My EF is so bad and I can’t do so much (housework, lunches, dinners, errands, phone calls)
I have my makeup and wardrobe SO finely tuned...it's actually made ladies in my life ask me for advice because I "always have it so together".
I also have a really hard time articulating complex thoughts that are in my head to other people, especially if they are new people or I don’t have a long history with them. Like the thoughts make perfect sense in my head but it takes me a lot of effort and focus to explain them in a way that others will understand well.
Paul, thanks for your examples of how to make life easier. Also, thanks for being a friend.
Since coming across your channel, the things I have struggled to understand about myself now all makes sense. I am not diagnosed but I am in the process of having it looked into. I am a high functioning person. I noticed I have been masking my whole life. I have always been among the top in my class. Was 1st team hockey captain, excel at anything I do when I CAN put my mind to it. I am studying Chartered Mamagement Accountancy and I do well at work. Well that is what people see on the outside. But what goes on, on the inside to get that all done, is to the detriment of my mental well-being. When I started to mention that I suspect ADHD or autism, friends and family looked at me as of I am crazy, Because I am "successful". But what they dont know is that my home is a mess. I struggle to get daily tasks such as cleaning and organizing meals, sending clothes to the laundromat, washing dishes, are SO SO hard and draining. Just thinking about what I have to get done at home is tiring. I use all my energy on work so that I can make a good living to enjoy the things that I want to do (such as horse riding) But my daily life at home is affected. I am still learning how to cope, but even just trying to think of ways to do it better is draining becauae I am not 100% sure if what I am doing is the best way. But your channel has helped tremendously in helping me get a better understanding and the confidence to seek help. Thank You!
In response to ways I simplify: I tend to organize all Like things with Like things. This has been a massive hinderance to my clothes closet. I have always put things in order from tanks, short sleeves, mid-sleeve and long sleeve shirts, then skirts, dresses and jackets/coats. Within those segments, each is in RoyGBiv order. I would open my closet and marvel at my organization skills, but never find anything to wear. 🤦♀️ Just last week - I took everything out of my closet and made outfits. I open the closet and it *looks* like a disaster- BUT - now I can grab two or three hangers that are right next to each other and have an entire ensemble for the day that took ZERO EFFORT! I will be 50 years old in a few months and I am stupid-excited about getting dressed everyday for the first time in my entire life!
Thank you so much for this video!!! Being diagnosed with Executive function disorder this late in life has been an absolute blessing and I appreciate that you help make this journey less lonely! Thank you!!!
You are an awesome resource, Paul and your insights are really useful and needed. Do whatever you need to keep this up.
I don't care if you wear your pajamas to do this. You're a handsome man, but your comfort should come before fashion.
I grew up on a farm, and most farmers don't waste time on trivial stuff. All the advice you've given is good for everyone, even neurotypicals. Don't worry about titles. Different people are going to take different stuff from this anyway. I don't know if you'll ever see this, but the help you are giving to so many of us adults who've struggled with these issues for years is probably immeasurable. Thank you again.
Your videos are so helpful. You helped me understand my autistic friends so much. I use your tips for socializing which is difficult for neurotypical people too. Thank you!
I do find choosing what to wear or eat very overwhelming and a huge waste of precious executive function brain cells. So, I don't. I wear the same thing every day with small changes based on weather and whether or not I will have to go anywhere. But everything I wear is black. And I have multiples of almost everything I wear. This means almost no executive function wasted on that unless I have to be seen by anyone. And even then, everything I wear will be black.
And I eat almost the same thing every day, too. Often even for more than one meal in a day. And I do next to no cooking. It takes far too much executive function to cook. So, I keep it extremely minimal.
You know what else I would absolutely love to do but don't? I would love to send emails and post comments without proof reading or editing at all. Maybe someday I'll cut back on that, too.
Hi Paul. I haven't been diagnosed but I've scored high on diagnostic tests. I recently lost a job at the library and lack of follow through and poor memory/listening skills was one of the problems I had. Poor executive function for me is not being able to have my basic affairs in order so that I can consistently do more complex tasks. Coupled with my moderate to severe depression and persistent suicidal ideation, it makes it extremely hard for me to consistently do things like dress presentably at work (which is funny because I have a closet full of very nice clothes which I think I sometimes buy as a way to compensate for my lack of care in looking professional or stylish). I regularly forego cooking because there are too many steps. Regularly don't make it to doctor's appointments because it stresses me too much to go out and deal with overstimulation. I always start jobs with a lot of enthusiasm but quickly lose interest. Probably have some mixture of ADHD, Autism, and anxiety/depression coupled with frequent suicidal ideation. Now that I've written all this out I don't know how I make it through the day lol.
I finally found out why I get so stuck and can't make myself do things that I find difficult - and it is another take on what you're saying; it's an automatic calculation our brain does to stop us wasting energy. Dr K talked about it in his most recent HealthyGamerGG twitch stream (and a previous stream too). Also I've found his ADHD and getting stuff done guide super useful.
In case anyone is interested- topic is tiredness; he covers the psychological aspect first, then physiological:
www.twitch.tv/videos/1635055313?t=756s
Thank you for this recording, this is exactly what I usually explain to my husband: I have a high "activation energy" for anything, and especially when the task is complex, long, or if what I need is not ready. Any unuseful move I must do, if something is not at its place, could lead me to finally not doing the task. I thought that was something common and shared with everyone, as I remember studies showed that it was efficient to add barriers to reduce an undesirable behaviour (like eating chocolate).
This is so! super! helpful! because a lot of videos on youtube are just explaining whats wrong with EFD, saying you have to be more organised, make a list, etc; but this channel gives PRACTICAL ADVICE to help people who HAVE executive disfunction to LIVE
What helps me is having a minimalist style for decoration and just a capsule wardrobe to make getting dressed easier in the morning. I have my sewing, violin, and knitting in specific places so that I can just do that thing when I want right away. I also have a very regular ritual everyday and that helps. I am trying to integrate going to the gym but that has proven difficult. I have to ease into it and rearrange my schedule so it becomes my new normal.
this channel is a blessing. i have learned through these videos and other testimonials like the one you posted about high masking in women and high functioning, and fear of misdiagnois and all of that. like ive been watching these and other adhd videos that have brought me to tears because you guys put into words my own experience when i felt like i was the only one so isolated and i was crazy. like honestly just thank you. this has led to a lot of healing for me. THANK YOU FOR SHARING AND PUTTING THIS OUT HERE ON UA-cam FOR EASY ACCESS TO PEOPLE LIKE ME!
This is an awesome example of how executive functions common with us lead into personality traits that are negatively viewed by society. We are wired to cut through ettiquette and BS for the efficiency of our energy resources. Thank you so much for your content. Perhaps ... "The Riches of Random Rambling" is a good title??
Eaxactly! I'll take one example, but not in this comment.
One of my favorite little hacks is having little stations, or having things at the point of performance. I have a little case with all my stationary in it for when I want to write to my pen pals, I have all of my hair clips in the same place. A lot of my executive dysfunction challenges seem to be brought about by the fact that I really hate working on a laptop. Unless I can find the right groove early on, an assignment might just become the last thing I want to do when I open my laptop. Thanks for the lil podcast episode paul!
Thank you so much for this video! You have been a great example of giving myself grace and not HAVING to do it all and be perfect in every thing I do, it hadn't occurred to me to really figure out what admin tasks are really necessary, and it doesn't have to be everything that other people do, and that's okay. Thank you Paul
Thank you for this, Paul. I've had these challenges all my life, oddly enough haha, but was only diagnosed aged 50. It was that process plus invaluable resources like this recording and your channel in general that have helped me understand why I am the way I am and to be more patient with myself. I'm a writer and I've had to set up multiple desks in different arrangements so I can get around some of the executive function issues that slow me down. Your mention of the old shirt and of having to put on pants to go outside made me nod and laugh because, yeah, exactly - there are so many clothing-related steps before one can go outside, never mind keys, wallet and anything that the trip might require.
I definitely do the one where I eat the same thing every day. I have a fancy breakfast with chocolate oatmeal with banana and berries. It is so delicious that I am happy to eat it every day but it takes 0 cognitive energy
Great points! So much of what we do isnt needed. Ive had a lot of people ask me to post stuff on UA-cam, but I avoided it for years because I just find fiddling with editing software, lighting, etc to be too much. Finally, I did what you talk about here and just allowed myself to record raw footage, mostly focused on whatever Im talking about rather than on my appearance, slick professional looking presentation etc. I just video what Im teaching about - gardening, computers, games, etc without using up a lot of energy on unimportant stuff.
Great to see this video. Thanks!
Because of this audio improvisation, I could feel you better, like it's me who speaks this way, or thinks this way in such situations. I relate to most things you say so much! Thank you for this decision on the video/audio format - 100% resonates with the topic!
As always, you find the very best way to present and explain the subjects in your videos! Excellent , thank you!
Appreciate so very much your hard work in getting these together. You are and continue to be such a help to me. At 61 years old I am coming to the realization of being autistic. You have explained so many of the problems and issues that I have struggled with, that it is just so mind-boggling to me how accurately you were explaining so much of what I have done and felt.
I am so mind blown over this. I realized a few weeks ago, at 51, that I'm on the spectrum. So many things have been explained.
But getting help has proven to be very hard, and depressing.
The problem with relying on automation is that it's really hard when you do end up having to go manual in a situation, as you are so used to relying on the auto mode. It lessens executive functioning load yes, which is why I often opt for it. But there's that drawback which I realized after having automated so much in my life, thinking how great it was that I have made systems for everything and continually improve them- only for it to dawn on me that now I am completely relying on said systems. There is no back-up option when the system doesn't work (specific situations say), ironically because the system was built to not have to rely on anything else. Turns out, even with a perfect system, sometimes you do. It's like electricity or something, we become a bit handicapped when it doesn't work.
I couldn't help but think of my music setup currently and the fact I hardly play lately. Knowing it may just be because I unwittingly made it a bit harder to access and start up play time is very enlightening. It's also like you visited my house.
I'm probably rehashing other comments but, I like to stay home alone a lot. An example of taking a shortcut- if I need to go out for grocery shopping (i need food eventually!) rather than having a shower, finding clean clothes, styling myself etc. Just wear whatever is half-decent, spend a minute fixing my hair, some deodrant, then just go out and do the shopping. Yes I'll look a little unkempt, but I won't see anyone I know.. just there to buy groceries, who cares. I'll get what I need and drive back home. I also use self-checkouts so I don't have to interact with anyone.
That example of wearing an old shirt underneath, I can relate to! Well it won't be warm enough anyway to take off my hoodie/top... then you are getting warm later and don't want to take it off, even though you should to cool down.
best executive disfunction (non) video for me so far, planning on making my partner watch this every day from now on as talking to him over and over about this to shift his attitude (in relation to his executive disfunction) is extremely draining to my also impaired executive function. many thanks!🙏
I relate so much… as an employee, I determined driving (anxiously) to work was not necessary for working a job and found a way to work from home 🎉 Executive functions are much happier
Thank you Paul. Great content. It helps alot. Love your desicion to do a recording instead of a video. Love your style because there are no distractions like musik and so on.
Great reminder to do as much as possible with the minimum of Power.
By far you have the most deeply insightful content regarding what it’s like living with ASD day to day. Thank you!
I loved this! Take care of your needs and do it the way you need to. It brought home the point even more for me. Love the channel! You've helped me understand myself and my experience so much, I am forever grateful.
Gosh, I really, really appreciate this video. probably more than any others I've seen thus far. I actually didn't know there wasn't a video recording until you mentioned it... in the audio. I listen to these informational videos while I'm walking my dog. typically people love to chat when I'm out walking. so, in order to serve as a kind of self preserving boundary... I almost always have big obvious over-the-ear headphones on so that my free time doesn't get bombarded by someone i don't know wanting to talk. I wasn't even watching the screen, haha so thisworked out pretty well that you didn't do the video portion. it wasn't "necessary" and i appreciate that you did what worked for you at the time. I'm constantly having to cut corners and figure out how to make stuff do-able... especially as a parent. my daughter is 6 and can't yet understand why I can make it to take her to her friends birthday parties, but then when we get back home i end up needing some serious down time for a couple hours where we don't do a whole lot. after that i can rebound and be more present with her... but there's a few hours of watching tv or coloring or the simpler, not-so-executive-function-requiring tasks. haha.
In response to your curiosity about other people's executive function hurdles, I can completely understand why you didn't do the visual component this round. when I'm talking face to face with anyone... i constantly have 2 or more dialogues going on in my head at any given time. I try to be very aware of how I'm presenting myself (facial expressions, tone of voice, volume, bodily communication etc... partially due to having experienced ongoing childhood trauma with a narcissistic and borderline personality disorder mom who took things very personally if I was not EXTREMELY careful about my tone of voice, facial expressions, etc. and partially due to previous experiences where i have been misperceived as being rude just because i want paying enough attention) and
Thank you so much for this video 😊. I can’t put into words how helpful it was 😊
My best solution to this is making lists. First thing in the morning is to turn on my laptop and look at the list. I don't have to remember anything, it's all there in front of me. I then order the list in the way it needs to be done for that day. If things get too busy then stuff that can wait gets pushed to later days. This works really well for me especially since it means that I don't forget to do things when they need to be done. I used to really beat myself up if I forgot to do something but this way that doesn't happen.
Thanks for your great content Paul
I really enjoyed that. It's a great idea for a format and it really engaged my attention. I didn't think I have a problem with executive function but having heard how you overcome barriers I realise that I've been doing this sort of thing for such a long time that I didn't realise I do them, lol. One of the things I've noticed about myself is that if I want to do something it's easier not to think about it too much or make a big deal over it. It's a way of sneaking up on myself so that I don't have time to worry, get anxious or talk myself out of it. A case in point was a couple of days ago when I wanted to travel to another village to take some photos. I've been trying to do that for ages but this time all the conditions were right and yet I was still ready to give up on the idea, so I just got my stuff and myself ready without actually noticing myself doing it. I know it sounds a bit daft but it works. As it happens I almost missed the bus because I was dragging my feet a bit but the driver stopped for someone else who wasn't actually waiting for that bus and I just had time to reach the door and get in. I had a great morning out too, and took loads more photos than I expected. Bliss. :)
Your videos are sooooo insightful! Thank you SO much!!!
Thanks! It was such an interesting idea of showing us the way of your reflection and process of barriers overcoming!
This is very helpful Paul thank you.
Thank you for this! These hacks are really helpful. I struggle with distraction and forget important details or tasks when interrupted. I usually set up my morning routine the night before knowing that I struggle in the morning to get anywhere on time. If Ik it’s a gym day tomorrow, I put my bag in the car the night before. Socially I use my current task completion as an out so I don’t feel pressured to socialize at work bc they see I’m in work mode. If they ask me if I have weekend plans, I usually say yes. They don’t know my plans are to read and hibernate with my cat 🐈⬛ Lol
I really really appreciated this one. Thank You for your channel👏👏🙏
Thank you for this! I usually am happy with my own executive functioning, but suffered when I lived in a too-small apartment. Took hours to do anything because of constantly having to unpack or repack whatever I wanted to do.
Good job, Paul 😊 Your vids are well done. Well thought out and planned. Yoi are articulate.
I love the meta demonstration of the lessons you teach. Keep it up!
Great video Paul!
oh this is big relatable. it really feels like a harsh negotiation with myself to do things or eliminate them.
As jolting as this video is. It got across to me really effectively
. Thank you
You are so interesting ! Never get tired listening to you ! Very useful and educational.
Totally relate to what you talk about :)
One of my big hacks is totally ignoring any kind of adverts to what is cheaper or where I can get some extra bonuses, joining advertising games/actions or whatever like that... I right away decline all calls about "we can review your contract for this and that and make it cheaper and similar things... I totally expel from my life anything what is about saving tiny bits of money... because I noticed it takes so much energy and focus and time... that it is not worth it, especially when I do not care about having the latest version of things, I don´t care about what "is in" etc... I rather use my old favorite things as long as they serve and I like to buy still the same :D
Another hack - I do not tidy too much if it is just for the "looks", unless I know someone is about to visit me which I.... try to avoid anyway :D ... I just keep it at home as much as nice, practical, healthy... and that´s it :)
There could be definitely more :D
Great topic! Thank you! ☺
This is so useful. Its me, and I am less doubting of my diagnosis now because this resonates.
I am making UA-cam videos, and there are so many life admin tasks and I end up not polishing as much as I could.
The explanation for similarity and routine is very insightful, thank you!
Some of the things I do to make life easier are setting up routines. Most days, I do the same things in the same order. For example, when I wake up, I put sandals on and take care of the gardens outside: watering plants, feeding the goldfish in the pond, tidying up a bit if needed, deadheading flowers etc. I'll try to do this first thing in the morning and early too, especially in summer because it gets quite hot here in Las Vegas by midday then.
I also prepare breakfast and do my ablutions pretty much the same way every day too. Getting off to an orderly, peaceful start like that makes the rest of my day go so much better than it does on days when something messes that routine up.
I dont eat the same foods every day, but I will go through weeks of eating related things. One week might be mostly Chinese food while the next might be a menu of curry dishes, for example. I like variety, but not in a chaotic fashion.
I rarely buy new clothes. I wear the same two weeks worth of wardrobe over and over for a season, then switch from summer wear to fall wear for example. I only buy a new clothing item if an old one needs replaced because its become worn out: holes, stains that wont come out, etc. When I shop, I start at my favorite thrift store first because clothing is low priority in my budget. I will get it as cheaply as I can without regard to current fashion trends.
Most of my furniture, books, board games etc. are second hand too. About the only things I prefer to buy new are electronics because Ive tried used ones and they usually have something wrong with them that I cant put up with.
My small talk is usually recycled too. I tend to say the same things to each new person I meet. Makes socializing easier if the acting I have to do in order to fit in uses familiar scripts.
Awesome video!!! Thank you so much ❣️
Love your vids and information !
I'm more likely to brush my teeth now that I bought a toothpaste without sulfates in it (sulfates burn my mouth), buy "kid" sized toothbrushes that fit my hand more comfortably, and leave a toothbrush (in a basic drinking glass that's easy to put in the dishwasher) and the toothpaste by the sink instead of in a drawer or cupboard - visual reminder. "Oh, yeah, I can take a minute do that now." Brushing in the afternoon helps, too, instead of waiting until bedtime, when I'm out of spoons.
I enjoyed this format. 👍
Thank you. It’s been awful trying to get by. In watching your videos I can understand better what is happening. That helps. It’s worse when sick. There must be some overlap with fatigue issues and doing steps to get things done. I’ve always since a kid set up the steps for myself to help myself do something, reading task into components and if feeling anxious going step by step. I hadn’t realised how much less most other people have to deal with this. I always managed to do all right, maybe better than some other people many ways because I was used to supporting self with breaking things down and doing bit by bit. I hadn’t realised how different it was to other people. Now it’s a mess and horrible as I ran into a lot of trouble. At first my traits were helpful, but later it became too exhausting to keep going. I’ve definitely crashed and may even be borderline in moral to survive now. I’ve tried so long to be responsible. Having things happen to my mother was too much. We are both, or were highly gifted (my mother now has Alzheimer’s). Some people are bullies and try to do harm seriously. May they be blessed by experience, not harmed but I hope they get some understanding and have some of the hell returned,
This video is honestly life changing! I have recently had a career change (into Tech), where we use Agile/Scrum approach, and I have been struggling SO hard to get on board with the 'Minimum Viable Product'(MVP) approach as it feels in direct opposition to some of my Autistic traits (Perfectionism, Masking, Coping with Change, Executive function issues), but this video effectively explains the benefits of taking an MVP approach for Autistic people!
From a user feedback point of view, I think this approach to 'videos' is excellent if it saves you energy/executive function, one thing I would feedback is I found the slightly blurry screenshots and jolting change between them slightly distracting (I had to not look at the screen), so maybe just have one 'title' slide for an audio 'video' (less work for you too!), or if you want/need more, maybe use just photos and transitions (like powerpoint?) between them!
Thank you so much for all your excellent content and hard work Paul!
Procrastination. Starting things are as difficult, as they are to stop once started!
Great relatable content, the absence of video has helped me out, I clicked on the vid as part of my procrastination strategy to avoid doing the stressful task I set out to do over an hour ago. At least I was able to tidy my room while I listened. Now, just one more coffee and perhaps I'll be able to get started, but maybe I should get the washing on and change my T shirt. :)
I actually like this content even more. He's little still pictures are kinda goofy and make the content even more understandable for me.
Thank you for this "video." : - ) Executive function issues are my hell. If anyone has any truly great, step-by-step resources they recommend (videos, articles, books...), I would so appreciate it. ❤
Some of my EF issues: Extreme time blindness (Time Timer visual timer helps a lot); identifying priorities; breaking things into steps; initiating tasks; stopping tasks once started (even boring ones!); switching between activities; organizing; recognizing long-term consequences of short-term behaviors...
This explains why I used to be able to do homework when I was a kid and am completely unable to get it done now. My mom used to set up my homework space before dinner and I’d have to finish as much as I could before it was time to eat because I knew I probably wouldn’t pull it back out once it got put away.
Thank You🐝🌟
You know what? I hadn't even noticed this was not an actual video until you mentioned it. I just discovered your amazing channel and have your videos running while playing solitaire next to it. (Because I need to maintain visual and manual stimulation to be able to focus on listening.)
Realising that there actually are numerous steps/tasks to getting things done was my NUMBER ONE thing which helped get my exec dysfunction under control (well i"ve begun). I couldnt start because i couldnt see the end of the job. So when it comes to housework that was a major hurdle. Now i have built short cuts in (the things that don't have to be done etc) eg no plate rinsing before dishwasher, just lumpy stuff in the bin, then 'straight to dishwasher after use, do not pass sink'. If laundry goes straight to machine instead of floordrobe, its ready to go when you add detergent. Hanging laundry on hangers to dry, alleviates the necessity to fold as it goes straight to wardrobe. Not folding 'smalls'. So many wins just realising there are steps and some can be abandoned. 💚
Probably the biggest executive functioning challenge for me is having to mask in public. This ties in with my anxiety as well as my autism but how I'm "expected" to act in public can be hard for me. For example, when I'm waiting for a coffee to be made, I often avoid eye contact with others and/or do something on my phone. It's one of many instances where I can feel quite awkward.
Agreed. My husband is well known in our smaller town and I have "RBF". So, I'm constantly trying to upturn my lips to "look pleasant" in case I run into someone who recognizes me while I'm not making eye contact...but feeling like I should...but also NOT wanting to so I can avoid chit-chat...but also not seem like a rag...ugh. lol
@@MmeGherkin aw that's too bad that u feel pressured to try to look pleasant. O I just had a thought, u could wear a mask. I've been still wearing a mask all the time in public because I don't understand why I would stop, I still want to protect people around me. And if anybody has a problem with it just tell them to shove it
@@heedmydemands Yeah, masking (in the literal sense) is/was a HUGE sensory issue for me. I can only last about 10 minutes before I start getting hot flashes and anxiety and need to get out of there and take it off. 🥹
@@heedmydemands Thank you for this: "I've been still wearing a mask all the time in public because I don't understand why I would stop, I still want to protect people around me." ❤❤❤ Agree 100%.
@@bellaluce7088 thank you. I do feel like sometimes people kind of want me to take it off, like sometimes they tell me I don't have to but I just say o no I always do. I'm careful because I don't want them to think I'm judging them for not doing it
At least you added pictures. I posted a video with just audio and just a picture as the thumbnail(I do indicate "audio only")
I do this for uni work recently. If i can't make myself start I try to set up everything i can for the next day. Like even naming a word document and saving it to my Desktop really helps!
I'd love to zoom but I have no fb. Following your vids for some time now. Thanks Paul!
I appreciate this so much
~I have a hard time cleaning my house, also, throwing things out, or organizing~
You always do great work ❤ I just also think you're so cute. I really like listening to you talk about everything & you help me feel better about myself. Thank you so much 🙂
Genius way - thx, Paul - I like your channel very much. Says Carsten from down under (Denmark)