HFY Story: The bipeds are insane! & Johnny I Hardly Knew Ya |2124~Deathworld, War, Terran and Humans

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  • Опубліковано 9 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 208

  • @diegosmith2569
    @diegosmith2569 Рік тому +81

    Me hearing the 2 moons thing, “that’s no moon”

  • @DisIzDaName
    @DisIzDaName Рік тому +231

    "They'll build a metal planet and throw it at you."
    That's a pretty good line, lol

  • @zacharyhawley1693
    @zacharyhawley1693 Рік тому +40

    I mean a death star would be a fitting deterrent. 😅

    • @TrueFork
      @TrueFork Рік тому +5

      don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed...

  • @stevedixon921
    @stevedixon921 Рік тому +96

    Story 1: It's not a weapon...its a mining platform. So what if we can dial up the power to crack a planet in one shot. Everyone knows you have break the shell to get at the nougat in the center anyway.

    • @electricheisenberg5723
      @electricheisenberg5723 Рік тому +6

      When the nougat is titanium, though…
      Also would not a series of ships launched from the platform make more sense? Beam would seem a complete waste.

    • @runeberg6514
      @runeberg6514 Рік тому +3

      StarDispurser, overkill for planet cracking 😂🎉

  • @silvadelshaladin
    @silvadelshaladin Рік тому +106

    This is a potential major problem with space warfare -- defense seems MUCH harder than offense. It is hard to protect a planet.

    • @imperialinquisitor510
      @imperialinquisitor510 Рік тому +22

      Anything in a fixed orbit is target practice.
      Static defence vs mobile offense always goes one way.

    • @silvadelshaladin
      @silvadelshaladin Рік тому +13

      @@imperialinquisitor510 Essentially living on planets could become impractical.

    • @Furzkampfbomber
      @Furzkampfbomber Рік тому +11

      @@silvadelshaladin I remember a sci-fi novel, although I can't remember its name atm for the life of me, where even living near suns might become impractical. The scenario was a galaxy full of life, with many species hat had developed FTL in relatively (pun not intented) recent times. Apparently there was a galaxy wide war that got many older species wiped out.
      One surviving old species/culture chose to live on rogue or artificial planets in deep space, using a number of very small artificial suns to keep them inhabitable and no one really knew why. Then humans find some kind of 'galactic treasure chest' conveniently lying around that gives them access to incredibly advanced technologies, amongst them a much better, fast FTL drive. The old species wants it burried and forgotten, trying to warn everyone that this tech is dangerous and that no one would let this kind of tech just lie around for everyone to find. And no one listens.
      In the end it turns out that this cool FTL tech can be weaponised very easily and used to make suns go supernova. And the inevitable happens, it does not take long and the first civilisations start to go extinct in a chain reaction of attacks and counter attacks, with the galaxy getting illuminated by the glare of supernovas. Which then explains why this one older and wiser species stays the hell away from natural suns.
      And when talking about planets, well, if you want to conquer them, because you want to colonise and inhabit them yourself, things might get a bit more complicated, but otherwise, you just need to throw rocks at them. 'The Expanse' just showed it perfectly, there is no real defense, there is no escape, all you do is to say your prayers and try to die with some dignity.

    • @giarnovanzeijl399
      @giarnovanzeijl399 Рік тому +10

      The greatest defense you have in space is decentralisation. Everything would be so scattered and diffuse that any threat would struggle to get far due to sheer weight of scale.
      A planet is vulnerable, a dyson swarm is too much.

    • @jaimeosbourn3616
      @jaimeosbourn3616 Рік тому

      @@giarnovanzeijl399 Or you have the fleet of worlds from Niven's known space stories.

  • @Mger47TheGamePegasus
    @Mger47TheGamePegasus Рік тому +191

    Did we build a dearhstar?! 😮

  • @SiegeTF
    @SiegeTF Рік тому +44

    Meanwhile on the other side of the planet:
    'Reforged in battle; I have shed the weakness of my flesh.'
    'You... have become one with the Omnisiah.'
    'Take my hand.'
    'I will walk with you.'
    '(Untranslatable) Deathworlders...'

  • @JRMshadow260a
    @JRMshadow260a Рік тому +21

    ROFLMFAO!!! As a former naval sailor I can almost resemble that.. Just, I was already married... LOL

  • @ealtar
    @ealtar Рік тому +22

    i'm surprised they got the rare llimited "glory" of glassing earth, doesn't happen every day

    • @jaimeosbourn3616
      @jaimeosbourn3616 Рік тому +2

      can only happen once

    • @zharpain
      @zharpain Рік тому +5

      @@jaimeosbourn3616 technically it can happen more then once if we terraform it every time it happens. The main issue is whether or not we have genetic blueprints for all the flora and fauna stored off world.

  • @jeremydanchuk1897
    @jeremydanchuk1897 Рік тому +5

    I have heard of mooning your enemy, but this takes the cake

  • @archer_of_azure
    @archer_of_azure Рік тому +11

    Stories referencing songs are always nice. Drums and Guns

  • @Tang0Fox1
    @Tang0Fox1 Рік тому +63

    If they did more surveillance and read human fiction they would see that it's not so strange. Dahak, the Borg Unit 1, the Deathstar...to name a few.

    • @mychaeldark1007
      @mychaeldark1007 Рік тому +7

      Dahak? I see a fellow enjoyer here. Was a little let down with the ending, but I loved those books.

    • @barelyasurvivor1257
      @barelyasurvivor1257 Рік тому +4

      Or EE Doc Smith and his ship bigger than a solar system

    • @Tang0Fox1
      @Tang0Fox1 Рік тому +2

      @@mychaeldark1007 yeah the semi-fizzle and the lack of at least a conversation between Colin and the children left me wanting a bit more.

    • @Tang0Fox1
      @Tang0Fox1 Рік тому +1

      @@barelyasurvivor1257 i will have research that one. What's the book title?

    • @barelyasurvivor1257
      @barelyasurvivor1257 Рік тому +1

      ​@@Tang0Fox1
      I think it might have been Skylark of Space. but since I last read it over a decade ago, I might be wrong on the title.

  • @noir-jaune6957
    @noir-jaune6957 Рік тому +7

    If you found two but only saw one on human space....Run Away seriously RUN AWAY!!

  • @ChaoticTeen16
    @ChaoticTeen16 Рік тому +5

    1st Story: That's no Moon.... it's a Space Station.

    • @TheMonk72
      @TheMonk72 Рік тому

      Technically if it can move under it's own power then it's at least a battleship.

  • @dantreadwell7421
    @dantreadwell7421 Рік тому +2

    That second one is a great telling of that song.

  • @driftwolf
    @driftwolf Рік тому +9

    Totally approve that you link to the original stories! Kudos. Well played. You're one of very, very few who seem to do this.

  • @MidnightSmoke
    @MidnightSmoke Рік тому +23

    Thank you for the stories. Here is a like and comment to help your channel grow and get you the recognition you deserve.

  • @aaronsmith1137
    @aaronsmith1137 Рік тому +2

    “They said he was a hero and not to grieve
    For the two ruined legs and the empty sleeve
    They took him home and they set him down
    With a military pension and a medal from the crown
    But you haven't an arm, you haven't a leg
    The enemy nearly slew ya
    You'll have to go out on the streets to beg
    Oh poor Johnny what'll happen to ya?”
    Song - The Cruel Wars
    Sung by many but I like The Dreadnoughts

  • @sageofnan
    @sageofnan Рік тому +8

    I would like to think they took pluto and put a ftl drive in her core or maybe Pluto's moon?

    • @MichaelDeHaven
      @MichaelDeHaven Рік тому +6

      I like the idea of using Pluto's moon, Charon. Nice symbolism with it being the ferryman of the dead.

    • @DaWhiteWolffie
      @DaWhiteWolffie Рік тому +9

      Poor Pluto. He was de-planeted so we felt bad and made him into a Deathstar. xD

  • @ShawndaPrawn
    @ShawndaPrawn Рік тому +6

    Normally, I'm not comfortable with wiping out an alien race, even in wartime. But glassing Earth? Yeah, they had it coming this time.

  • @UmarWazir
    @UmarWazir Рік тому +2

    County Fermanagh... in Spesss!

  • @RealArcalian
    @RealArcalian Рік тому +2

    Greetings, Mentlegent!
    For the Rhyhtm that is Algo
    Story 1: You burned Earth!??? We got DEATH STARS.
    Story 2: I get that this was funny and a refrence, but mostly it was just weird.

  • @garret1930
    @garret1930 Рік тому +1

    First story reads like a stellaris game where the humans somehow constructed a titan in the first hundred years of game start.

  • @colinsmith1495
    @colinsmith1495 Рік тому +9

    I'm honestly disappointed that the humans in the first story didn't just toss an FTL-accelerated planetoid at their capital world. A soda can at 1C is a weapon of mass destruction. Imagine what something like Charon would do.

    • @colinayre2109
      @colinayre2109 Рік тому +4

      This is why I attest that the Flash is a world level threat, take a handful of ball bearings, run to the speed of light, then let them go

    • @SenaFoxGirl
      @SenaFoxGirl 11 місяців тому

      1C?

    • @theengagedfew
      @theengagedfew 11 місяців тому

      @@SenaFoxGirl The speed of light

    • @davidhenderson3400
      @davidhenderson3400 10 місяців тому

      ​@@SenaFoxGirl
      1C is the speed of light. C is light speed. So 5C would be 5 times the speed of light while 0.9 would be 90% the speed of light

    • @theapexsurvivor9538
      @theapexsurvivor9538 10 місяців тому

      ​@@SenaFoxGirlmathematical Lightspeed. C is used as a stand in because it's a little painful to write the actual value all the time, and "lightspeed" is a mouthful. I mean, imagine saying E=M*lightspeed²

  • @KroMagnum4
    @KroMagnum4 Рік тому +3

    Beware the Earth Lemurs for they throw rocks.
    Er..........and now apparently big hunkin metal planets as well.

    • @robertstoneking7916
      @robertstoneking7916 Рік тому

      A solid planet is just a bigger rock. Gas giants are thermonuclear weapons.

  • @davethompson3326
    @davethompson3326 Рік тому +3

    I like Lisburn, it's a canny town, so I perked up when I heard the name of the planet in #2
    However it's about 10 miles SW of Belfast in NI, so imagine my confusion to find it populared by Scots!

  • @vetlebuom7352
    @vetlebuom7352 Рік тому

    I cant play Marauders without your Narrating

  • @sysbofh
    @sysbofh 7 місяців тому

    About the first story: This is what I call a "proportionate response": You glass Earth, we glass You. All of You.

  • @theblackswan2373
    @theblackswan2373 Рік тому

    That last one really hit me.
    😢

  • @MakerGrigio
    @MakerGrigio Рік тому +3

    ooh, hey only 37 min since posted to u2be. Thank you so much for continuing to do this

  • @kurtismiller9544
    @kurtismiller9544 Рік тому +5

    For the Skwerl and his Nest! Let his "nut"star defend the world!

    • @elduquecaradura1468
      @elduquecaradura1468 Рік тому

      "avenge" would be more accurate, Earth was destroyed in this first story

  • @karcistthurgy3025
    @karcistthurgy3025 Рік тому +2

    Dropkick Murphy would be proud

  • @Pybbles
    @Pybbles Рік тому +1

    Truly a space ork moment, a death moon WAGHHHH for EARTH

  • @eddiethepothos2648
    @eddiethepothos2648 Рік тому +1

    I'm loving the personal representation as a game employee at the carnival I also must make sure people can read my lips and I speak with my hands rather often

  • @Maeshalanadae
    @Maeshalanadae Рік тому

    “Bad guy make human mad. Human throw rock.”

  • @mattbrown5511
    @mattbrown5511 Рік тому

    Humans literally built the Death Star and used it. Bravo!
    A cyborg love story. At least she is a good woman. Those are hard to find. My hat is off to you Nancy Blare.

  • @Maddog3060
    @Maddog3060 Рік тому +1

    The Peace Moon strikes again.

  • @dragonlord498
    @dragonlord498 8 місяців тому

    funny thing is i've heard that at least the basic structuring and costs of a death star we already apparently have a few good ideas how to make one with only the more exotic parts like the main weapon and FTL stuff not really being included

  • @Darkwintre
    @Darkwintre Рік тому +1

    The wave of asteroids charged into the inner system.
    "Activate transfer" said a bored onlooker.
    A circle of satellites sped out separated then swirled causing a rift in front of the asteroids.
    A second rift created by another circle of probes in the outer system sending the asteroids back where they came from.
    "What is this Transfer?" another onlooker asked.
    "Ever watched Stargate?" she asked him.
    He shook his head.
    "Babylon 5 and its Jump Gates?" she asked.
    He shook his head again.
    "Google it," she shook her head in disbelief.
    "What about MacGyver or Dr Who?" she looked over at him but he wandered away.
    "What a world," she shook her head in disbelief.

  • @markuhler2664
    @markuhler2664 Рік тому +1

    Aw, Johnny, that was a sweet one.

  • @peterwalls-qf7ii
    @peterwalls-qf7ii Рік тому +2

    8:50 Most metal phrase ever! There ought to be a band with that name.
    Maybe i'll start one , there is time before i sleep. I'll have to ask my sister though. I'am no longer alone! There is one other, that remembers our origins and our early battles. That remembers the Betrayal. After a few aeons the mind plays tricks. Even one such as i ,with the evidence carved in to my flesh, can doubt.

  • @ericchapman4500
    @ericchapman4500 Рік тому +2

    Aliens should have watched starwars before messing with us.

  • @Comicsluvr
    @Comicsluvr Рік тому +1

    Oh yeah...this one is truly epic. Very well done!

  • @peterwalls-qf7ii
    @peterwalls-qf7ii Рік тому +3

    Welp, since he survived so much, i guess it wont do any harm. Wait! How high up on his legs is the damage?
    There 's high and then there is irreparable. I f he's lost his eggs, that's one thing. If he lost the whole package..
    Which is it sailor? Are you still of use to a lady, or do we find a space station somewhere, to install you as its brains ?

    • @lemax6865
      @lemax6865 Рік тому +1

      If they can replace whole limbs with improved versions, odds are he can get his meat upgraded too. Piston-driven auto-pound function, vibro-glans with adjustable rate, swappable coverings for a variety of sensations... The whole "package".

  • @alistairwolfe6644
    @alistairwolfe6644 Рік тому +3

    lol for the first and hard for the second

  • @Average_Josh
    @Average_Josh Рік тому +6

    Keep up the great work!

  • @nitegamer7272
    @nitegamer7272 Рік тому

    Annoy a human he will throw a rock at you, Anger a human he will throw a BIG rock at you.

  • @JEL625
    @JEL625 Рік тому +36

    We built a better deathstar. A moon size battle station with the power to destroy a planet. But with the bonus of ftl travel that doubles as an interstellar emp.
    Just be a lesson to the xeno. If you find a "primitive race" sotting on top of a rare resource you should think twice before invading. They already have access to what you want and might know of better ways to use it on you.

    • @johns9652
      @johns9652 Рік тому +2

      I'm still kinda curious what the rare element was supposed to be. I know it's a story, so it can be anything the author wanted, but if there's any basis in reality at all, Mars isn't a whole lot different than Earth as far as rocks and minerals go. Though apparently there is some speculation that the core or crust of Mars is made of something denser than we have found yet, because gravity is higher than our math can explain or something. And they found some meteorite material that might fit the bill that they named elgoresyite.
      There's also a theory, perhaps a pretty wild theory at this point, that there was a nuclear war on Mars millions of years in the past, because of the amount of xenon 129 present, which apparently is only formed in the aftermath of nuclear explosions. And there is 3 X the amount on Mars as there is on Earth.

    • @DaWhiteWolffie
      @DaWhiteWolffie Рік тому +6

      @@johns9652 They've found some new elements in meteorites lately that has the scientists all excited. So who knows at this point? We still don't know what all we've got in our 'backyard', so to speak.

    • @johns9652
      @johns9652 Рік тому +1

      @@DaWhiteWolffie True enough.

    • @calvingreene90
      @calvingreene90 Рік тому

      Potassium.

    • @reduande
      @reduande Рік тому +2

      A better Death Star? The original has FTL too. Only the interference during end of a travel is not present in SW. And realistically, they would at least avoid the effective proximity after first battle.

  • @RandomTrinidadian
    @RandomTrinidadian Рік тому +3

    Remember... More Dakka more better..

  • @carlfranz6805
    @carlfranz6805 Рік тому +4

    Second story gives a new meaning to "In just seven days I can make you a man".

  • @emilschw8924
    @emilschw8924 Рік тому

    Darth Vader wants that death star, and he wants it yesterday.

  • @Kualinar
    @Kualinar Рік тому

    Story 1. So, Star Wars Death Star on steroids... Not the size of a small moon, but larger than Earth's Moon.

  • @Type_blazenil
    @Type_blazenil Рік тому

    This weirdly reminds me of the story nomads of home

  • @CaptainShield
    @CaptainShield Рік тому +1

    That's no moon.. 🤯

  • @Uzzgub
    @Uzzgub Рік тому +2

    A Interaction for the Interaction God, a Comment for the Comment Throne, for the Almighty Algorithm

  • @zetaking2909
    @zetaking2909 Рік тому +1

    When johnny comes marching home again HURA HURA

  • @allenmorgan1007
    @allenmorgan1007 Рік тому +2

    For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Holographic Voice!

  • @TairnKA
    @TairnKA Рік тому +1

    Where did "Metagents" come from?

  • @ericlondon2663
    @ericlondon2663 Рік тому +1

    Eradicate xenos.
    Friendship is a nice thought BUT the octopus people make excellent appetizers.

  • @NCemloen
    @NCemloen Місяць тому

    What I heard "weird. This planet has only one moon. Not. Two."
    Me: what planet has two moons... Oh right. Mars with Phobos and Demos... Oh... Oh no.

  • @merlinathrawes746
    @merlinathrawes746 Рік тому

    A metal planet thrown at you, THEN it fires its main weapon. Death Star anyone?

  • @Bluesonofman
    @Bluesonofman Рік тому

    So we built the Death Star

  • @mikkelnpetersen
    @mikkelnpetersen 10 місяців тому

    We build a deathstar, just in case.

  • @markojotic
    @markojotic 3 місяці тому

    Why didn't that ship protect Earth.

  • @greanstreak04
    @greanstreak04 Рік тому +1

    That's no moon...

  • @user-lp3cf5yn5b
    @user-lp3cf5yn5b Рік тому +2

    Thats no moon....

  • @Darkphoenix3450
    @Darkphoenix3450 Рік тому +1

    so who built the death star?

  • @RogerNilsson-pk5bm
    @RogerNilsson-pk5bm 9 місяців тому

    Yeee a deathstar!!!

  • @smaragdwolf1
    @smaragdwolf1 Рік тому

    story 1... we were nice to them. afterall... there were still survivors -.-

  • @frankmoore3598
    @frankmoore3598 9 місяців тому

    Didn’t do much to protect earth , did it ?

  • @Vojtechjan
    @Vojtechjan Рік тому +1

    Uwielbiam Cię

  • @jamiepittman8580
    @jamiepittman8580 Рік тому +2

    Wooot woot

  • @darkestmonkey4457
    @darkestmonkey4457 Рік тому

    Is there a story about how humans can fall in love with anything including any species?

  • @geoffreypershouse70
    @geoffreypershouse70 Рік тому +1

    the aliens torched earth, let none of the scum survive our vengeance

  • @zielisawzielony9366
    @zielisawzielony9366 Рік тому

    >man blasted to pieces by war
    >women mostly affected

  • @garrettwalter7293
    @garrettwalter7293 Рік тому

    Two things is that a Transatlantic accent and do you do voice acting?

  • @malcolmanderson6735
    @malcolmanderson6735 Рік тому +6

    The first story makes no sense. The Zeno's they glassed Earth, and then wanted the ghosts to surrender. On top of THAT we had an FTL Deathstar, but it was our at the cleaners the day earth was attacked? Also we had an FTL Deathstar, and had not colonized any other planets? Am I missing something or was this story missing something?

    • @stardust5789
      @stardust5789 Рік тому +3

      Shhhhh the story sounds more impactful with the death of earth.

    • @danijelandroid
      @danijelandroid Рік тому +1

      The Deathstar was probably close to finished or it might have been a civilian project. They were probably able to finish it with alien technology. That's how I see it.

    • @Alex_Fahey
      @Alex_Fahey Рік тому +4

      Great questions all. It's especially nonsensical with the fact that there were no other major planets but only upstart colonies. If there are no other systems to guard, then why would you ever move the superweapon? The Sol System is the ONLY strategic objective and it sounds like the Humans like it to stay that way since they could easily conquer more. There is not a single reason this metal moon would be anywhere but glued to Earth until the end of time with this story's setup.

    • @felipeaugustobatista6444
      @felipeaugustobatista6444 Рік тому +1

      @@Alex_Fahey The aliens sent a message telling they were comming, if the weapon was not yet ready but the engine was, it make sense that mankind was going to try to hide it to avoid it being captured or destroiod.

    • @therasco400
      @therasco400 Рік тому +3

      No. It was stated that we had colonized several planets and moons in our solar system & the two closest star systems. 3:08.
      I can see the death stars construction starting around earth then moved if it was FTL capable but not weapons capable when the aliens declared an attack.

  • @corranhuss
    @corranhuss Рік тому

    That’s no moon

  • @yomogami4561
    @yomogami4561 Рік тому

    enjoyed the stories and narration
    someone was way too overconfident in the first one
    and i'll keep my comments to myself for the second as they're not fit to print

  • @asandrewsilvaw
    @asandrewsilvaw Рік тому

    For the algorithm

  • @Mger47TheGamePegasus
    @Mger47TheGamePegasus Рік тому +1

    Hallo ladies and gentlemen

  • @FuzzyMarineVet
    @FuzzyMarineVet 8 місяців тому

    @AgroSquirrelNarrates, I've been going back through your older videos and watching the ads to help increase your revenue stream. Perhaps you should recommend the same to all your new subscribers.

  • @merlinwizard1000
    @merlinwizard1000 Рік тому +1

    16th, 22 May 2023

  • @tonyneal910
    @tonyneal910 8 місяців тому

    ❤👍🐿

  • @TheJeikou
    @TheJeikou Рік тому +1

    Comment

  • @justsomeguywithahandlebarm2456

    Algorithm

  • @lindaorr1805
    @lindaorr1805 Рік тому

    F around an find out

  • @Mandanara
    @Mandanara Рік тому

    you're waaaaay overcooking the narration sometimes.

  • @klappstock943
    @klappstock943 Рік тому

    For the Algorithm the story and the voice

  • @JorneDeSmedt
    @JorneDeSmedt 8 місяців тому

    That's no moon...