And that is precisely why we need to start seeking DPDR REMISSION communities for comfort, not just DPDR communities; there are too many horror stories in the latter. That being said, fear isn't primarily the only reason some people experience prolonged dissociation; there are also potential chronic issues at play. So to anybody reading this with prolonged dissociation in a healthy environment with a healthy mind like me, either you are already on the road to recovery or there may be something physical going on; it never hurts to see the doc!
Crazy how hearing a person like you talking about it is making it immediately feel better. Like feeling alone and ashamed is making it so much worse. Thanks for healing a part with this video
4:42 it's absolutely frightening! And there's a lot of pressure to try and act like you're OK when you're having this kind of episode... people don't understand or take it seriously, so it feels like you have to just tether yourself to a small detail.... and yes, the fear & panic makes it so much more dramatic. Sometimes, you have to just surrender and let it wash over you and hope that you come out the other side ♡
The part that always annoys me about this condotion, is that it surprises and shocks me every single time even though I've been dealing with it for years.
My experience was very similar. WHen i was 15 i first experimented with LSD. I had a bad trip and it was literally a living nightmare. Pure intense fear, felt like evil energy took over my body. I had a few of these bad trips. After giving up all drugs, and years later, i had one of these bad trips out of the blue and i had no substances in my body. It was triggered by something i was watching on TV about the universe, saying even the life of our planet is a flash in the grand scale of the universe, confirming just how insignificant a human life is. It lasted for months, on and off, freaking out. At the time I still had no idea what anxiety/panic was, let alone DP/DR, the doctors gave me anti-depressants which just made me worse! Several years later my family (parents and three siblings) isolated me and disowned me due to feeling threatened when i had a kid and was actually a loving parent. This triggered another episode and i felt like i left my body, looking down at myself observing, as if i was an alien, not understanding how i was a human or what my physical form was? I was walking but it did not feel like me, it was something else walking, that i could not connect with. I was literally not me for the first time in my life. At this point i was so disturbed i started deep dive learning about mental health and it all came to light how my childhood trauma contributed to all my screwed up issues. Thank you for sharing and shedding light on this important topic!
I didn't even think you could get DPDR from a bad trip, i was expecting some crazy abuse background 3 month ago I took a 30mg edible and went completely NUTS, I can only imagine what you experienced being 16 and never smoking before:( I hope you good for now, much love
omgggg bad *plant* trips are the worstttt. mine led me to psychosis and then after a week, i just didn’t feel real. i was living life as if i was looking through a vr headset. it lasted about 10 months and very recently that derealized/depersonalized feeling has been coming back. definitely ground yourself and surround yourself with people who will help ground you; disregulation is the worst for trying to heal that dissociative wound. moral of this story: drvgs are bad!!
I went through this EXACT exact same thing when I was the same age w/ the same substance and have never been the same since. It was the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced and it’s so hard when no one else understands. Even though this was years ago for me the way you described your experience was so very validating
A mantra that helps me and my brain is im safe, I'm ok, I'm loved. In this state, we need to remind our brain it's ok. All the time literally, anytime those hateful thoughts/ any negative thoughts happen, I just say those and 3 weeks or so I'm proud to say I'm free from the negative thoughts, its still there but im just chilling with it. I had unmanaged anxiety for 14yrs so it makes sense that it'll take a minute to get completely better and that's ok. Also I decided to take ssri meds along with changing my thought patterns so hopefully im on the right track.
Your derealization story is the exact same as mine!!! Oh my god. I was so dissociated and anxious after smoking w34d. I developed anxiety SO bad I can't describe it. I would get psychotic symptoms + thoughts along it. I don't hear enough people talk about it, so thank you!
Girl! amazing I went through this I'm a lot better now, it's crazy to remember that time ahm it really has been scary I just kept going and i found a safe place and I learned expressing and feeling my emotions again and I slowly healed in that matter So I hope everyone Struggeling from this♥️ gets better overtime And stays believing in themselves and stay through it Cause yeah it's definitely getting better
Thank you so much for making this video. I got it from edibles almost a year and a half ago. I also felt like I was dying and it was the scariestttt thing I’ve ever gone through in my life. I was hallucinating and was unconscious for 8 hours i thought I had died and was in hell. My dissociation lasted 6 months but there a bunch of other symptoms that were still there like tightness in chest and 2d vision. The only symptom i have now is things just look strange. It’s like there is a filter covering my eye that makes everything dim and unfamiliar. I hope that it gets better. I’m like 70 percent recovered thanks to god. I really miss my old life. Wish i get back to normal soon.
I had a similar experience at the beginning of this year and I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. It’s really relieving to hear that I’m not the only one who has experienced something like this, thank you 💕
I can't thank you enough for sharing this video. I had nearly the same experience after eating the same substance in chocolate several years ago. It was absolutely terrifying and traumatizing. I was not able to accurately describe what happened to me at first because I didn't understand what was going on. You explained everything beautifully. I'm mostly recovered from the incident 3 years later, but regulating myself again has taken time, understanding and gentleness. Through that experience though, I've learned how precious and important this physical reality is while we're here. I have better tools now to help re connect with my body when I start going back to that state of disassociation. Thank you again. It helps so much to know you're not alone.
I found this video very comforting, I started smoking when I was like 16 and one time I decided to smoke a whole bowl alone, I’ve never smoked that much weed before. As soon as it hit me I started having a panic attack, it literally felt like my whole body was on fire. I convinced myself I was going to literally explode. It was terrifying. The worst part it I didn’t want one bad trip to stop me from smoking so I kept doing it. It took 3 bad trips to finally learn my lesson. I’m 19 now and I no longer smoke but I’ve been going through derealization since I was 16. It’s getting a little better but I really hope it ends soon.
I experienced this at 15. I could not comprehend that I was now in 10th grade and 9th grade was in the past. Time just did not feel real to me. I constantly felt like the world was happening around me and I was just a ghost observing it all. It came after I was severely depressed so I wonder if my brain just shut down for awhile. I was also going through treatments for chronic Lyme Disease. It was a struggle that was weirdly comforting to a point that I didnt want the feeling to go away. It's so complex. Thank you for the tips for those going through it right now💛
I took these feelings to the doctor and he diagnosed me with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It was triggered for the first time when I was in a remote forest and got worried about blacking out (which had happened in the past, so a rational fear to some degree. Doctors did tests etc and I'm healthy, they couldn't explain the blacking out) The feeling lasted on and off for two weeks and included blurry vision at times. The only way I can describe it is I feel "high" like the come up on mushrooms or LSD. It's scary when it happens but I've been getting better at accepting it and riding it out.
I am not gonna lie a year ago something really traumatic happened and ive been feeling every little thing that you said, I thought I was literally lost in my own mind I still am even just now I had to make an effort to really put my mind into this video cuz I was really anxious for dumb things, like idk but I really aprecciate this video of yours, I used to be smth like that too at 15/16 I was like that aesthetic-nature- loving-boy-forgiving everyone, until everything started falling apart and nobody really speaks of these things cuz like when im losing my mind im just gonna anxiously search my symptons and scare the fuck out of me with google answers saying things like its a sympton of a brain tumor but I know it isnt cuz when I actually commit to calming down, I can hear my thoughs. I really really aprecciate this video, Thank you
I hope I'm like you when I grow up. I'm a 30 year old man. Shout out to 24 year old me having a round of derealization and depersonalization. I would not be here without that experience. 🙏
Is this dpdr? symptoms: :Feeling out of reality (Derealization) as if the world is not real. • Depersonalization as if you are separate from yourself. • Intrusive, disturbing and incomprehensible thoughts (such as situations, songs, or strange things). • Feeling fear and constant anxiety for no apparent reason. • Feeling that the disease is chronic and will not end. • Loss of the ability to speak or interact socially normally. • Feeling helpless, hopeless and anxious about the future. • Difficulty feeling normal emotions (such as laughter or sadness). • Lack of feeling memories as if they are not yours. • Loss of sense of self when looking in the mirror. • Decreased interaction with others and feeling like an idol or a robot. 2. Physical symptoms: • Rapid heartbeat (especially upon waking up or in cases of anxiety). • Chest tightness and a feeling of heaviness as if a mountain is on your chest. • Stomach pain and feeling nauseous or loss of appetite. • Frequent panic attacks. • Constant feeling of fatigue and exhaustion. • Loss of appetite and lack of desire to eat. • Difficulty sleeping or calming down. 3. • Inability to enjoy activities or places (even holy places or events). • Loss of ability to communicate normally with family or friends. • Feeling emotionally burdened towards family and fear of being a burden on them. • Lack of speaking and participating in discussions. • Constant thinking about the disease and its causes, and fear of not recovering. - songs , things I love seems strange like never I enjoyed before… 1. Detachment from the World: Feeling as if there’s a “wall” between you and the outside world, making everything seem different and unfamiliar. 2. Detachment from Yourself: Looking at your body and feeling disconnected from it, as if it doesn’t belong to you. 3. Mirror & Photo Dissociation: Difficulty recognizing yourself in mirrors or photos, feeling like the person you see isn’t you. 4. Loss of Familiarity: Your home, everyday environment, and even past memories feel unfamiliar. 5. Out-of-Body Sensation: Feeling like your soul is separate from your body. 6. Physical Symptoms: Eye pain, burning or dryness; headache; stomach pain and nausea; shaking or inner trembling; heart racing . 7. Cognitive Symptoms: Blank mind, confusion about your own identity, feeling numb, and persistent intrusive thoughts. 8. Feeling “Crazy”: Worrying that you’re losing your mind, feeling abnormal, or fearing that you’ll never feel normal again. 9. Emotional Numbness: Difficulty connecting emotionally, even with things you once enjoyed. 10. Random Memories Resurfacing: Old memories or things you’d rather forget seem to pop up without reason. 11. Changes in Personality: Feeling like your personality and usual self are not present, and you can’t remember who you were.
i’ve had a very similar situation w chocolate *wink wink* too. to the point where i was a completely different person afterward. definitely poison for us. i’m glad it works for others but it just isn’t smth i can partake in. thank you for sharing your story, it brings me great comfort to know there’s others out there that have been through this struggle too
Awh sweetheart. Sending you a big hug. It will get better with time I promise. I've been in the worst stage of it and I know how much it hurts. Physically and mentally. You're stronger than you think.
Its so good to see you with tea and sharing a bountiful natural way to let go of delusions that made no sense. Thank you for the light at the end of the tunnel I didn't see I was in. Truly glad you care like that, it makes sense.
i came here from another video of yours where you talk about DR and I'm so thankful you shared your experience cause a lot of young kids don't really know the side effects of... plants. I suffered from dissociation since I was a kid (i'm 21 now) due to childhood trauma and DR is very scary. DP is less scary to me. Because of my experiences I've never tried any substence of that kind cause DR is very traumatic, why would I want to cause it to myself? I'm glad you overcame it and I sympathize with you a lot!! Thanks again for sharing your experience
20:40 I'd like to add another Tipp: Especially If you're in class or on a public place, what has helped me is to use an anchor to not drift away from your present and get controlled by fear. So you just grab an object (a pen for example) and focus on it, look at it, realise how it feels on your hand, then you can press it as hard as you need. It helps to temporarily blurr out your souroundings to not overwhelm you. This has helped to get back to the present moment and to calm down Hope this helps somebody!!
@@tobysimmonds487 It’s easy to say than done. It was the worst years of my life. Getting rid of any negative and toxic people in my life was a first. Also having solo time and connecting with your body and mind was the most important. Nobody could ever say or do anything to help me whilst i was going through this. You have to do it all yourself. Having supportive individuals like for me my sisters were always watching over me. honestly just journaling and self care is most important. You will overcome it! I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. You are strong and will become even stronger! Believe in yourself ♥️
I’ve been stuck for 7 years :/ I always had anxiety, and I smoked in GTA way too much and ate to escape reality, and I did.. And I regret that so much.. I lost my friends and cannot leave my house for so many years.. I fear it is too late for me. But somewhere I suppose there is still a sliver of hope, or I would not be watching you video
I love how much light you radiate. Watching these videos, i always feel a change in my mood. Thank you for the consistency as you always seem to post at the exact right times. ✨️💚🌸 and to any random stranger reading this, I wish you a safe healing with a joyous outcome. ♡
thats crazy cause when i was 16 something like that happened to me, but it was cause by mental stuff rather than 🍃, and its taken me two years too to mentally heal from that and im still healing
I saw some of your older vids and I clicked on your channel out of curiosity, I then saw that you posted this 12 days ago and I've recently been looking for treatment for my DP/DR which I've had for a while now. If that isn't a sign then I don't know what is haha
I have just come across your channel and absolutely love your videos! I have managed to heal from dpdr so know personally that videos like this will help people so much, this is amazing❤️
Yo i just stumbled on your channel and you're such a gee! Im going throught something rn and like all the stuff you say I relate SO MUCH and i bet a lot of very beautiful souls do too, its SO real and validating to have someone like you putting it in worlds like this, im sure you're making a change in a lot of peoples life rn, including mine, MAD respect, keep going
Wow i feel you with all my Heart. Not only in this Video, i really feel How you See the World. thanks for sharing everything. I personally struggle with dpdr as well. I feel a huge dissonance with between my dpdr symptoms and spirituality. Spiritually helps me so much and I just need it in my life. It’s just part of my being. I was asking myself if you maybe have some thoughts about that and how you can unite those. Maybe you know what I mean. Have a wonderful day.
Thank you so much for this video and your willingness to be so open! You also explain it so well despite it being something that truly defies any conceptual understanding!
the same thing brought mine too, I used to smke it all the time. and it was great but when I stopped it started and carried on, now its even worse but it got worse because of traumas I've gone through last year particularly. it's very very scary, tbh I can't remember what it feels like without it now :/
wow youre so fkn cute, I love your channel! and man, I suffered from this crap as well for a while xD its horrible. glad to hear that you recovered :))
I experienced sever symptoms at the age of 17, i felt ashamed, i told my mom but after a while it just seemed like a burden i didn't vent to anyone because I knew no one would understand two years later im better than ever i still dont vent to anyone not because Im ashamed(Like I was before) but because I learned to have my own back, take my self seriously and love myself. I learned to accept any feelings I had welcome them with open arms without any judgment or shame. meditation helped along the way but just doing the simple thing like feeling the emotions im supposed to feel instead of distracting myself did me wonders lol either way thank you for sharing your probably helping a lot of people who are going through this feel less alone your amazing!! 🤍
I am very grateful that youre talking about drug induced dpdr. Theres a great deal of shame that comes with it, it feels like it technically is my own fault. I have always struggled with questioning my perception and reality even as a small child, i experienced my first panic attack at 8, because I thought i would never be perfect enough for god (i was catholic at the time, even though my parentd weren't), and neither would my loved ones. I have also always been a very hard overthinker, ive struggled with depression, loneliness and self hatred for years, was in therapy from 13 to 17 yrs old and hospitalized for 3 months at 16. One thing i always felt like I "had left" was my ability to process information, my academic sucess and my ability and curiousity to explore scientific and philosophical topics. I got an IQ test done last year in May and measured in at 142. Today I dont feel like any of that is left within me. About 14 months ago I started to get involved with new friends who were smoking very heavily. I had smoked occasionally before, but not excessively. Over the last year I've had phases where I smoked daily, more times than I can count I was crossfaded out of my mind, combined heavy drinking with heavy marihuana use or went days without sobering up. I went to school stoned and drunk, but also sometimes didnt usw for weeks at a time, more importantly, I always came back down. About 3 months ago, after a genuinely amazing day smoking at the lake with my friends, I realized I just simply didnt anymore. I just didnt entirely stop being high. Ever since then Ive had trouble with dpdr, spacial awareness, lang and short term memory loss, social interaction and anxiety attacks. So I quit. Quit the drugs, for 50 days. Completely got the THC out my system. Got better, not as well as I was before, but I regained my spark. Until i started missing it. And then I had friends over and I let myself be convinced to hit that j again. And everything was fine! I had an amazing evening and the next day just felt a little tired. So i made the mistake during a hard phase in my relationship to smoke another two times, as heavily as I used to. And then I made brownies and completely overdosed one evening. I felt I couldnt breathe, I was shivering, and like my brain was completely collapsing in on itself. It was total sensory overload and insanely scary. I wouldnt even wanna imagine what it would have been like had I not been a heavy user for a year. I somewhat knew the symptoms as it wasnt the first time this had happened to me (but definitely the worst). And now I'm back at the bottom. Felt high for days after, a week later I am now starting to come back down. My brain feels fried, but i know theres nothing i can do but stay sober, accept my situation and sit through it. Maybe it will end, maybe it wont. Whatever happens, gotta make the best of it.
I suffer from depersonalization too but I’m not sure what triggered it. I got a brain EEG so my doctors can see the disassociation but they can’t tell me what caused it. It could range from brain injury to traumatic event. I had never used any substances when it started so it couldn’t have been that. Anyways, I’m starting lens neurofeedback treatment for it soon so I’m hoping it goes away.
Spitting barz here lol My dpdr was with a lot of deja vu. I still have it but im almost recovered ( that 1% when loading lol) For some reason i have some intrusive thoughts but getting better lol. Hopefully i wont live with this "ocd".
Understand why it's there, it has a purpose. You're afraid, so your subconscious is trying it's best to perceive as much information and make as much sense of it as possible. Healing one specific symptom won't work. It's like trying to lose fat only on your legs while weight-loss is a full body process. When you slowly calm down your mind all symptoms will start fading. Take it at your own pace. Love to you
Did you ever tell your family about how you got your dpdr? I had exactly the same situation as you, exactly the same age as when I did it too and I've only told a handful of people about why it started. Did you find any relief or did you ever tell your family about the "substance" (in gta ofc). I've had it since January 2023 and it has been 24/7 since September 2023, this is the second time I've actually looked into ways to get better because before this I was just hoping to wait it out and not doing anything about it. One thing I've never heard anybody talk about is that I always struggle when I smell it in the street, once some kid smoked near me and I thought I had done it again, it felt like I'd smoked but of course I hadn't. Even the slightest whiff of it at a distance puts me right back where I was in January 2023
I’ve had good and bad trips weed lsd shrooms and Molly some trips I really enjoyed, other trips yeah it was really scary being in that ego death stage but I eventually came back I think shrooms are great but still very safe and do your research, what substance did you use, was it weed or psychedelics, I’m assuming weed
@lizabashkova thank you and by watching your videos the best way to calm down is by calming your anxiety by not feeding it with fear and relax into it. I feel I am coming out of water slowly I am starting to feel real is this recovery?
@lizabashkova in your video you mentioned it's all from your response and reaction did you mean fear and worrying and was there something you kept telling yourself to calm yourself to remind yourself you are safe?
@ME-jf7ho yes exactly just realize that the derealization itself can’t harm you. Your emotional response can make you feel more comfortable and help you heal faster or scare you further
i HATE edibles but I like to smoke weed its a completely different experience for me. my first time I ate an edible with my best friend we were fighting for our life the second time I ate way less also with friends we all went non verbal just sitting in silence.
It’s so weird that I feel the opposite about these experiences. The detachment from my self was more enjoyable to me, but then I only did it a few times in my life. I don’t drink or smoke weed but I have in the past and the edible experience was more fascinating to me because there was no me. But I don’t think I’ll ever skate on that thin ice again.
Suppose you love another so much you want your reality-consciousnesses to merge. To REALly love. Suppose the other is God. People’s born openness experiences trauma in this shocking life. Liza is different. Her mother wove a world around her that didn’t let the average (normal) “coping “ mechanics seal her into a hardened “reality “. The woven veil let Lisa know an other real, glimpsed as through smoky glass, beyond people’s talked constructions, existed . The veil was removed (literal definition of “apocalypse “). Your mother gave you space and time to create a new you in a new world-your soul seed has grown into the garden you are now cultivating -spring. What hibridations Will fall reveal
Religion has been lingering in my mind a lot . The theology and practicality of religion don’t make sense to me . Can you make a video explaining your views on this ( if you can that is ) thanks .
If we're still in the topic of DPDR I wouldn't go deep into religion and theology as it might influence the symptoms of Dissociative Identity Disorder even tho seems like something "will save you" - no it won't. The mind is too exhausted to objectively adopt new ideas let alone process ancient theological wisdom. What you need when you're disregulated is to simplify everything as your body functions come down to the basics. Trust in God / Love not knowledge about why and how the world works
This video definitely was helpful in understanding what has happened to me. I think I’ve already been practicing a lot of the techniques you have mentioned, so my symptoms aren’t as present as when they first arrived almost 2 years ago. Thank you.
this video literally described everything ive been going through for the past 4 years all alone. thank you so much for making this video, it feels amazing to finally feel seen & understood 🩷
Yeah for sure it does. Life is just so slow so make sure you do everything you want. It wants you to appreciate the small things. because later on they will be gone. I think being alone is the best part because you can tune everything and everyone out and focus on what you wanna do 🙏🔥💯✌️🌆
Thank you so much for this video, I feel like this is some of the best advice I have ever gotten especially as no one around me understands DPDR, the effects it has on me and what to do about it. I feel a lot better and a bit more equipped to deal with this now 🫶🏻💞
Daily reminders, guidance, and
heart hugs from me in our community email list! liza-bashkova.ck.page/community
The scariest thing about this is the assumption that it's gonna last forever.
So we fight it and we make it even worse
And that is precisely why we need to start seeking DPDR REMISSION communities for comfort, not just DPDR communities; there are too many horror stories in the latter. That being said, fear isn't primarily the only reason some people experience prolonged dissociation; there are also potential chronic issues at play. So to anybody reading this with prolonged dissociation in a healthy environment with a healthy mind like me, either you are already on the road to recovery or there may be something physical going on; it never hurts to see the doc!
Some people call it enlightenment, I always found it so scary
Feel it
Crazy how hearing a person like you talking about it is making it immediately feel better. Like feeling alone and ashamed is making it so much worse. Thanks for healing a part with this video
Means a lot, you got this. Take it slow 🫶🏻
4:42 it's absolutely frightening! And there's a lot of pressure to try and act like you're OK when you're having this kind of episode... people don't understand or take it seriously, so it feels like you have to just tether yourself to a small detail.... and yes, the fear & panic makes it so much more dramatic. Sometimes, you have to just surrender and let it wash over you and hope that you come out the other side ♡
And we always come out on the other side❤️
The part that always annoys me about this condotion, is that it surprises and shocks me every single time even though I've been dealing with it for years.
My experience was very similar. WHen i was 15 i first experimented with LSD. I had a bad trip and it was literally a living nightmare. Pure intense fear, felt like evil energy took over my body. I had a few of these bad trips. After giving up all drugs, and years later, i had one of these bad trips out of the blue and i had no substances in my body. It was triggered by something i was watching on TV about the universe, saying even the life of our planet is a flash in the grand scale of the universe, confirming just how insignificant a human life is. It lasted for months, on and off, freaking out. At the time I still had no idea what anxiety/panic was, let alone DP/DR, the doctors gave me anti-depressants which just made me worse!
Several years later my family (parents and three siblings) isolated me and disowned me due to feeling threatened when i had a kid and was actually a loving parent. This triggered another episode and i felt like i left my body, looking down at myself observing, as if i was an alien, not understanding how i was a human or what my physical form was? I was walking but it did not feel like me, it was something else walking, that i could not connect with. I was literally not me for the first time in my life. At this point i was so disturbed i started deep dive learning about mental health and it all came to light how my childhood trauma contributed to all my screwed up issues. Thank you for sharing and shedding light on this important topic!
Im so extremely grateful for you. Sharing these stories will help heal and educate generations 🙏🏻
I didn't even think you could get DPDR from a bad trip, i was expecting some crazy abuse background
3 month ago I took a 30mg edible and went completely NUTS, I can only imagine what you experienced being 16 and never smoking before:(
I hope you good for now, much love
omgggg bad *plant* trips are the worstttt. mine led me to psychosis and then after a week, i just didn’t feel real. i was living life as if i was looking through a vr headset. it lasted about 10 months and very recently that derealized/depersonalized feeling has been coming back.
definitely ground yourself and surround yourself with people who will help ground you; disregulation is the worst for trying to heal that dissociative wound.
moral of this story: drvgs are bad!!
💯💯
I went through this EXACT exact same thing when I was the same age w/ the same substance and have never been the same since. It was the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced and it’s so hard when no one else understands. Even though this was years ago for me the way you described your experience was so very validating
Thank you 🙏🏻🥹
A mantra that helps me and my brain is im safe, I'm ok, I'm loved. In this state, we need to remind our brain it's ok. All the time literally, anytime those hateful thoughts/ any negative thoughts happen, I just say those and 3 weeks or so I'm proud to say I'm free from the negative thoughts, its still there but im just chilling with it. I had unmanaged anxiety for 14yrs so it makes sense that it'll take a minute to get completely better and that's ok. Also I decided to take ssri meds along with changing my thought patterns so hopefully im on the right track.
Your derealization story is the exact same as mine!!! Oh my god. I was so dissociated and anxious after smoking w34d.
I developed anxiety SO bad I can't describe it. I would get psychotic symptoms + thoughts along it. I don't hear enough people talk about it, so thank you!
🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 I struggled finding anyone who had a similar experience so I'm glad I could be that for you
Girl! amazing
I went through this
I'm a lot better now, it's crazy to remember that time
ahm it really has been scary
I just kept going and i found a safe place and I learned expressing and feeling my emotions again and I slowly healed in that matter
So I hope everyone Struggeling from this♥️ gets better overtime
And stays believing in themselves and stay through it
Cause yeah it's definitely getting better
Appreciate you love🫶🏻 just need to keep believing that it will get better until it does
Thank you so much for making this video. I got it from edibles almost a year and a half ago. I also felt like I was dying and it was the scariestttt thing I’ve ever gone through in my life. I was hallucinating and was unconscious for 8 hours i thought I had died and was in hell. My dissociation lasted 6 months but there a bunch of other symptoms that were still there like tightness in chest and 2d vision. The only symptom i have now is things just look strange. It’s like there is a filter covering my eye that makes everything dim and unfamiliar. I hope that it gets better. I’m like 70 percent recovered thanks to god. I really miss my old life. Wish i get back to normal soon.
17:22 ♡♡♡ we are so blessed with our human sensations and perceptions ♡♡♡
I had a similar experience at the beginning of this year and I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. It’s really relieving to hear that I’m not the only one who has experienced something like this, thank you 💕
I can't thank you enough for sharing this video. I had nearly the same experience after eating the same substance in chocolate several years ago. It was absolutely terrifying and traumatizing. I was not able to accurately describe what happened to me at first because I didn't understand what was going on. You explained everything beautifully. I'm mostly recovered from the incident 3 years later, but regulating myself again has taken time, understanding and gentleness. Through that experience though, I've learned how precious and important this physical reality is while we're here. I have better tools now to help re connect with my body when I start going back to that state of disassociation. Thank you again. It helps so much to know you're not alone.
This put words to what I’m going through. I’m 23 and you are wise beyond your years!
Appreciate you love ❤️ You'll be just fine sending soothing for your heart
Just found out this channel 1 minute ago, then i watch and subbed. I likee your vibe! Dont stop posting cause u gon be huge liza😉
Thank you so much for this. This is the type of comments I remember when it gets tough 🙏🏻 I won't stop
Agreed!! Please never stop!
Same I also see her this way❤
I struggled with this for yearssss. Like 3 years. Is a symptom of anxiety !
I found this video very comforting, I started smoking when I was like 16 and one time I decided to smoke a whole bowl alone, I’ve never smoked that much weed before. As soon as it hit me I started having a panic attack, it literally felt like my whole body was on fire. I convinced myself I was going to literally explode. It was terrifying. The worst part it I didn’t want one bad trip to stop me from smoking so I kept doing it. It took 3 bad trips to finally learn my lesson. I’m 19 now and I no longer smoke but I’ve been going through derealization since I was 16. It’s getting a little better but I really hope it ends soon.
"Eating in silence..." Not me with a giant mouthful of food watching this video
FIRST TIME THAT I HEAR SOMEBODY HAVING VISUAL SNOW ily i feel less alone :))
I experienced this at 15. I could not comprehend that I was now in 10th grade and 9th grade was in the past. Time just did not feel real to me. I constantly felt like the world was happening around me and I was just a ghost observing it all. It came after I was severely depressed so I wonder if my brain just shut down for awhile. I was also going through treatments for chronic Lyme Disease. It was a struggle that was weirdly comforting to a point that I didnt want the feeling to go away. It's so complex. Thank you for the tips for those going through it right now💛
7
I took these feelings to the doctor and he diagnosed me with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It was triggered for the first time when I was in a remote forest and got worried about blacking out (which had happened in the past, so a rational fear to some degree. Doctors did tests etc and I'm healthy, they couldn't explain the blacking out) The feeling lasted on and off for two weeks and included blurry vision at times. The only way I can describe it is I feel "high" like the come up on mushrooms or LSD. It's scary when it happens but I've been getting better at accepting it and riding it out.
I am not gonna lie a year ago something really traumatic happened and ive been feeling every little thing that you said, I thought I was literally lost in my own mind I still am even just now I had to make an effort to really put my mind into this video cuz I was really anxious for dumb things, like idk but I really aprecciate this video of yours, I used to be smth like that too at 15/16 I was like that aesthetic-nature- loving-boy-forgiving everyone, until everything started falling apart and nobody really speaks of these things cuz like when im losing my mind im just gonna anxiously search my symptons and scare the fuck out of me with google answers saying things like its a sympton of a brain tumor but I know it isnt cuz when I actually commit to calming down, I can hear my thoughs.
I really really aprecciate this video, Thank you
and it is being really scary tho
I’ve had it for 7 years.. I sure hope I’ll recover one day ❤
I hope I'm like you when I grow up. I'm a 30 year old man.
Shout out to 24 year old me having a round of derealization and depersonalization. I would not be here without that experience. 🙏
Is this dpdr?
symptoms: :Feeling out of reality (Derealization) as if the world is not real. • Depersonalization as if you are separate from yourself. • Intrusive, disturbing and incomprehensible thoughts (such as situations, songs, or strange things). • Feeling fear and constant anxiety for no apparent reason. • Feeling that the disease is chronic and will not end. • Loss of the ability to speak or interact socially normally. • Feeling helpless, hopeless and anxious about the future. • Difficulty feeling normal emotions (such as laughter or sadness). • Lack of feeling memories as if they are not yours. • Loss of sense of self when looking in the mirror. • Decreased interaction with others and feeling like an idol or a robot.
2. Physical symptoms: • Rapid heartbeat (especially upon waking up or in cases of anxiety). • Chest tightness and a feeling of heaviness as if a mountain is on your chest. • Stomach pain and feeling nauseous or loss of appetite. • Frequent panic attacks. • Constant feeling of fatigue and exhaustion. • Loss of appetite and lack of desire to eat. • Difficulty sleeping or calming down.
3. • Inability to enjoy activities or places (even holy places or events). • Loss of ability to communicate normally with family or friends. • Feeling emotionally burdened towards family and fear of being a burden on them. • Lack of speaking and participating in discussions. • Constant thinking about the disease and its causes, and fear of not recovering. - songs , things I love seems strange like never I enjoyed before…
1. Detachment from the World: Feeling as if there’s a “wall” between you and the outside world, making everything seem different and unfamiliar.
2. Detachment from Yourself: Looking at your body and feeling disconnected from it, as if it doesn’t belong to you.
3. Mirror & Photo Dissociation: Difficulty recognizing yourself in mirrors or photos, feeling like the person you see isn’t you.
4. Loss of Familiarity: Your home, everyday environment, and even past memories feel unfamiliar. 5. Out-of-Body Sensation: Feeling like your soul is separate from your body.
6. Physical Symptoms: Eye pain, burning or dryness; headache; stomach pain and nausea; shaking or inner trembling; heart racing .
7. Cognitive Symptoms: Blank mind, confusion about your own identity, feeling numb, and persistent intrusive thoughts.
8. Feeling “Crazy”: Worrying that you’re losing your mind, feeling abnormal, or fearing that you’ll never feel normal again.
9. Emotional Numbness: Difficulty connecting emotionally, even with things you once enjoyed.
10. Random Memories Resurfacing: Old memories or things you’d rather forget seem to pop up without reason.
11. Changes in Personality: Feeling like your personality and usual self are not present, and you can’t remember who you were.
As a man, an intense workout is one of my favorite ways to come back to my body. Followed by some time to calm the nervous system
7:20 also a main purpose of the freeze response is to avoid being detected by predators
Thankyou @19 minutes. Can express the fears to explain yo the point I couldn’t speak it!
i’ve had a very similar situation w chocolate *wink wink* too. to the point where i was a completely different person afterward. definitely poison for us. i’m glad it works for others but it just isn’t smth i can partake in. thank you for sharing your story, it brings me great comfort to know there’s others out there that have been through this struggle too
🙏🏻
It is important to lead a healthy lifestyle!
Had to get a glass of water before watching so I could cry and not dry out.
Awh sweetheart. Sending you a big hug. It will get better with time I promise. I've been in the worst stage of it and I know how much it hurts. Physically and mentally. You're stronger than you think.
Its so good to see you with tea and sharing a bountiful natural way to let go of delusions that made no sense. Thank you for the light at the end of the tunnel I didn't see I was in. Truly glad you care like that, it makes sense.
i came here from another video of yours where you talk about DR and I'm so thankful you shared your experience cause a lot of young kids don't really know the side effects of... plants. I suffered from dissociation since I was a kid (i'm 21 now) due to childhood trauma and DR is very scary. DP is less scary to me. Because of my experiences I've never tried any substence of that kind cause DR is very traumatic, why would I want to cause it to myself? I'm glad you overcame it and I sympathize with you a lot!! Thanks again for sharing your experience
You’re such a breath of fresh air
🫶🏻
20:40 I'd like to add another Tipp:
Especially If you're in class or on a public place, what has helped me is to use an anchor to not drift away from your present and get controlled by fear. So you just grab an object (a pen for example) and focus on it, look at it, realise how it feels on your hand, then you can press it as hard as you need. It helps to temporarily blurr out your souroundings to not overwhelm you. This has helped to get back to the present moment and to calm down
Hope this helps somebody!!
Keep going
I wish I had this video when I went through it 6 years ago. You are going to help many individuals, thank you for this angel❤
Appreciate you so much love. Glad you're regulated now🙏🏻
How did you overcome it? Also I'm so proud of you for making it through! I can only imagine how good simply existing will feel like once it's over :D
@@tobysimmonds487 It’s easy to say than done. It was the worst years of my life. Getting rid of any negative and toxic people in my life was a first. Also having solo time and connecting with your body and mind was the most important. Nobody could ever say or do anything to help me whilst i was going through this. You have to do it all yourself. Having supportive individuals like for me my sisters were always watching over me. honestly just journaling and self care is most important. You will overcome it! I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. You are strong and will become even stronger! Believe in yourself ♥️
I’ve been stuck for 7 years :/ I always had anxiety, and I smoked in GTA way too much and ate to escape reality, and I did..
And I regret that so much.. I lost my friends and cannot leave my house for so many years.. I fear it is too late for me.
But somewhere I suppose there is still a sliver of hope, or I would not be watching you video
What does that mean, smoked in GTA
@@Lovestay822 talking about drugs can get you demonetized, so really, it’s just a metaphor. Like how in GTA V you can smoke the good stuff lol
May God grant you success and happiness, God willing, my dear, your motivation is beautiful
Thank you love🙏🏻
I love how much light you radiate. Watching these videos, i always feel a change in my mood. Thank you for the consistency as you always seem to post at the exact right times. ✨️💚🌸
and to any random stranger reading this, I wish you a safe healing with a joyous outcome. ♡
Appreciate you so much sweetheart ❤️
I like the way you talk about this subject :) you're so smart
Keep going Liza. We on the growing journey together
oh man i’m so excited for this one
best creator out there!
Henry is too real🫶🏻
thats crazy cause when i was 16 something like that happened to me, but it was cause by mental stuff rather than 🍃, and its taken me two years too to mentally heal from that and im still healing
I saw some of your older vids and I clicked on your channel out of curiosity, I then saw that you posted this 12 days ago and I've recently been looking for treatment for my DP/DR which I've had for a while now. If that isn't a sign then I don't know what is haha
I have just come across your channel and absolutely love your videos! I have managed to heal from dpdr so know personally that videos like this will help people so much, this is amazing❤️
Appreciate you so much 🫶🏻🫶🏻
Good explanation of the experience
Yo i just stumbled on your channel and you're such a gee! Im going throught something rn and like all the stuff you say I relate SO MUCH and i bet a lot of very beautiful souls do too, its SO real and validating to have someone like you putting it in worlds like this, im sure you're making a change in a lot of peoples life rn, including mine, MAD respect, keep going
i love you. i relate so much. thank you for sharing
Good content❤
omg just found u and relate to u so much and find ur videos so helpful
It means a lot thank you!
Thank you💕💕
Wow i feel you with all my Heart. Not only in this Video, i really feel How you See the World. thanks for sharing everything. I personally struggle with dpdr as well. I feel a huge dissonance with between my dpdr symptoms and spirituality. Spiritually helps me so much and I just need it in my life. It’s just part of my being. I was asking myself if you maybe have some thoughts about that and how you can unite those. Maybe you know what I mean. Have a wonderful day.
Thank you so much for this video and your willingness to be so open! You also explain it so well despite it being something that truly defies any conceptual understanding!
the same thing brought mine too, I used to smke it all the time. and it was great but when I stopped it started and carried on, now its even worse but it got worse because of traumas I've gone through last year particularly. it's very very scary, tbh I can't remember what it feels like without it now :/
You got it I'm here! very scary is the perfect description
wow youre so fkn cute, I love your channel! and man, I suffered from this crap as well for a while xD its horrible. glad to hear that you recovered :))
Thank you so much for this video ❤️
Love your content 😊❤❤
Thank youu🫶🏻
I experienced sever symptoms at the age of 17, i felt ashamed, i told my mom but after a while it just seemed like a burden
i didn't vent to anyone because I knew no one would understand
two years later im better than ever i still dont vent to anyone not because Im ashamed(Like I was before) but because I learned to have my own back, take my self seriously and love myself. I learned to accept any feelings I had welcome them with open arms without any judgment or shame. meditation helped along the way but just doing the simple thing like feeling the emotions im supposed to feel instead of distracting myself did me wonders lol
either way thank you for sharing your probably helping a lot of people who are going through this feel less alone your amazing!!
🤍
Thank you❤
I am very grateful that youre talking about drug induced dpdr. Theres a great deal of shame that comes with it, it feels like it technically is my own fault.
I have always struggled with questioning my perception and reality even as a small child, i experienced my first panic attack at 8, because I thought i would never be perfect enough for god (i was catholic at the time, even though my parentd weren't), and neither would my loved ones.
I have also always been a very hard overthinker, ive struggled with depression, loneliness and self hatred for years, was in therapy from 13 to 17 yrs old and hospitalized for 3 months at 16.
One thing i always felt like I "had left" was my ability to process information, my academic sucess and my ability and curiousity to explore scientific and philosophical topics. I got an IQ test done last year in May and measured in at 142.
Today I dont feel like any of that is left within me.
About 14 months ago I started to get involved with new friends who were smoking very heavily. I had smoked occasionally before, but not excessively. Over the last year I've had phases where I smoked daily, more times than I can count I was crossfaded out of my mind, combined heavy drinking with heavy marihuana use or went days without sobering up.
I went to school stoned and drunk, but also sometimes didnt usw for weeks at a time, more importantly, I always came back down.
About 3 months ago, after a genuinely amazing day smoking at the lake with my friends, I realized I just simply didnt anymore. I just didnt entirely stop being high. Ever since then Ive had trouble with dpdr, spacial awareness, lang and short term memory loss, social interaction and anxiety attacks.
So I quit. Quit the drugs, for 50 days. Completely got the THC out my system. Got better, not as well as I was before, but I regained my spark.
Until i started missing it. And then I had friends over and I let myself be convinced to hit that j again.
And everything was fine! I had an amazing evening and the next day just felt a little tired.
So i made the mistake during a hard phase in my relationship to smoke another two times, as heavily as I used to.
And then I made brownies and completely overdosed one evening. I felt I couldnt breathe, I was shivering, and like my brain was completely collapsing in on itself. It was total sensory overload and insanely scary.
I wouldnt even wanna imagine what it would have been like had I not been a heavy user for a year.
I somewhat knew the symptoms as it wasnt the first time this had happened to me (but definitely the worst).
And now I'm back at the bottom. Felt high for days after, a week later I am now starting to come back down. My brain feels fried, but i know theres nothing i can do but stay sober, accept my situation and sit through it. Maybe it will end, maybe it wont. Whatever happens, gotta make the best of it.
Part 2
I suffer from depersonalization too but I’m not sure what triggered it. I got a brain EEG so my doctors can see the disassociation but they can’t tell me what caused it. It could range from brain injury to traumatic event. I had never used any substances when it started so it couldn’t have been that. Anyways, I’m starting lens neurofeedback treatment for it soon so I’m hoping it goes away.
Spitting barz here lol
My dpdr was with a lot of deja vu. I still have it but im almost recovered ( that 1% when loading lol) For some reason i have some intrusive thoughts but getting better lol. Hopefully i wont live with this "ocd".
I love you
Love from Ohio ❤
How did you stop seeing everything as signs? I get paranoid bc of that sometimes so I was wondering how you overcame that
Understand why it's there, it has a purpose. You're afraid, so your subconscious is trying it's best to perceive as much information and make as much sense of it as possible. Healing one specific symptom won't work. It's like trying to lose fat only on your legs while weight-loss is a full body process.
When you slowly calm down your mind all symptoms will start fading. Take it at your own pace. Love to you
Did you ever tell your family about how you got your dpdr? I had exactly the same situation as you, exactly the same age as when I did it too and I've only told a handful of people about why it started. Did you find any relief or did you ever tell your family about the "substance" (in gta ofc).
I've had it since January 2023 and it has been 24/7 since September 2023, this is the second time I've actually looked into ways to get better because before this I was just hoping to wait it out and not doing anything about it. One thing I've never heard anybody talk about is that I always struggle when I smell it in the street, once some kid smoked near me and I thought I had done it again, it felt like I'd smoked but of course I hadn't. Even the slightest whiff of it at a distance puts me right back where I was in January 2023
tremendo estilo
I would like to be your friend so much haha and I am 27 😅, I am speaking Russian too.
Thanks alot, love ur crystals rings what are those ?
These are pearls🫶🏻
I’ve had good and bad trips weed lsd shrooms and Molly some trips I really enjoyed, other trips yeah it was really scary being in that ego death stage but I eventually came back I think shrooms are great but still very safe and do your research, what substance did you use, was it weed or psychedelics, I’m assuming weed
I don't even have a voice in my head anymore haha
Tunnel Vision
Did you suffer from eye floaters and did it take a long time to fade away?
Yes I had visual snow in the most intense and dysregulated stage of it but it goes away as you slowly calm down your nervous system
@lizabashkova thank you and by watching your videos the best way to calm down is by calming your anxiety by not feeding it with fear and relax into it. I feel I am coming out of water slowly I am starting to feel real is this recovery?
@ME-jf7ho yes you will eventually start getting back up again just take it very slowly:) Glad to hear that you’re better
@lizabashkova in your video you mentioned it's all from your response and reaction did you mean fear and worrying and was there something you kept telling yourself to calm yourself to remind yourself you are safe?
@ME-jf7ho yes exactly just realize that the derealization itself can’t harm you. Your emotional response can make you feel more comfortable and help you heal faster or scare you further
Did your visual snow went away?
Yes it was one of the first symptoms to go away gradually
@@lizabashkova thank you i’m experiencing this symptom now and I’m a little bit scared that it will never go away.
@micol5725 it will 🙏 give it time and consciously regulate your nervous system
What drug
little session of liza therapy
Thank you Joey one of the day ones 🫶🏻🫶🏻
@@lizabashkova WOOOOOOOOOO OMG LIZA NOTICED ME AHHHHH
i HATE edibles but I like to smoke weed its a completely different experience for me. my first time I ate an edible with my best friend we were fighting for our life the second time I ate way less also with friends we all went non verbal just sitting in silence.
Everyone is unique, any contact with the compound was extremely traumatic for me. I didn't give up after the first try as a classic 16 year old
It’s so weird that I feel the opposite about these experiences. The detachment from my self was more enjoyable to me, but then I only did it a few times in my life. I don’t drink or smoke weed but I have in the past and the edible experience was more fascinating to me because there was no me. But I don’t think I’ll ever skate on that thin ice again.
Suppose you love another so much you want your reality-consciousnesses to merge. To REALly love. Suppose the other is God. People’s born openness experiences trauma in this shocking life. Liza is different. Her mother wove a world around her that didn’t let the average (normal) “coping “ mechanics seal her into a hardened “reality “. The woven veil let Lisa know an other real, glimpsed as through smoky glass, beyond people’s talked constructions, existed . The veil was removed (literal definition of “apocalypse “). Your mother gave you space and time to create a new you in a new world-your soul seed has grown into the garden you are now cultivating -spring. What hibridations Will fall reveal
❤❤❤ lizabashkova
The Truman show
U r so cute ❤
#INFJ #Heyoka #Empath
Religion has been lingering in my mind a lot . The theology and practicality of religion don’t make sense to me . Can you make a video explaining your views on this ( if you can that is ) thanks .
If we're still in the topic of DPDR I wouldn't go deep into religion and theology as it might influence the symptoms of Dissociative Identity Disorder even tho seems like something "will save you" - no it won't. The mind is too exhausted to objectively adopt new ideas let alone process ancient theological wisdom. What you need when you're disregulated is to simplify everything as your body functions come down to the basics. Trust in God / Love not knowledge about why and how the world works
Oh, great another chick that went to therapy and now she is coming onto UA-cam as a self proclaimed psychiatrist expert.
Sooo hawt
pierwsza
Love you
good forest. forest - doctor
This video definitely was helpful in understanding what has happened to me. I think I’ve already been practicing a lot of the techniques you have mentioned, so my symptoms aren’t as present as when they first arrived almost 2 years ago. Thank you.
You're welcome 🙏🏻 You got this 2 years is what it took for me so I think you might be close
this video literally described everything ive been going through for the past 4 years all alone. thank you so much for making this video, it feels amazing to finally feel seen & understood 🩷
Yeah for sure it does. Life is just so slow so make sure you do everything you want. It wants you to appreciate the small things. because later on they will be gone. I think being alone is the best part because you can tune everything and everyone out and focus on what you wanna do 🙏🔥💯✌️🌆
Thank you so much for this video, I feel like this is some of the best advice I have ever gotten especially as no one around me understands DPDR, the effects it has on me and what to do about it. I feel a lot better and a bit more equipped to deal with this now 🫶🏻💞
I'm so grateful I could help and bring that comfort. You will getter better with time❤️❤️❤️
@@lizabashkova Thank you ❤️