Ep. 92 | 2 Bears, 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
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- Опубліковано 15 вер 2024
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Today is a very special show as Bert is finally back from Serbia! Bert catches Tom up on everything that happened, including why he needs to get surgery, going to a Serbian hospital and working with Mark Hamill. Next, Tom and Bert talk about making a movie together, acting vs. cheating and having to stay off Instagram while filming. After that, Tom tells Bert he's buying another Sea-Doo, the kids are acting more Texan since moving to Austin and discovers the difference between frogs and toads. Last, Bert reveals he's afraid of getting surgery but Tom let's him know it's going to be OK and that he actually loves surgery.
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Hate to admit it, but I'm kinda sorta glad Brent is back.
Yo randomfrankp is a ymh fan?
Having Brendan schaub on will do that lol
@@steverogers7601 shots fired and received lol 😆
Pog fan!
I feel the same way but I also feel like it’s gonna get old again within two or three episodes lol
Tom turned into his dad when he found out Bert hasn't had a coloniscopy 😂 "Buddy, buddy!"
you know im not even mad it’s a weird word u got close enough 😂
You can feel the buddy love between these two
@@wassontv i appreciate that, lol. I was hoping autocorrect would take over and fix it for me, but i must have really messed up cuz even that didn't help. 🤣
mad jealous of their friendship
Heeeeeeeeeeeere we go buddy!
Imagine Tom in full scrubs to Bert "They're going to let me do some of the operation!" 🤣
lmao
"I just got a jet ski that goes 65mph! In 6 months when we're both healed we should go for a ride!"
RIP Bert and Tom - February 2022
This all fellows don’t want to learn
Double funerals
Ari runs the whole podcast and just talks to himself
Next breakable shirt coming up
Uh u don’t say that
Everyone buckle up and listen to Bert start 8 different stories about his time in Serbia and not finish a single one.
I think this was from a few months ago or else Tom is playing us with the hand wrap.
@@heads_together_crypto2422 nope. 5 days ago
@@heads_together_crypto2422 Nah, he has the hand wrap because he just recently got surgery on his arm.
@@TyronTention like they took pins out? Well, glad it's fresh! Bout time lol. I am looking foward to The Machine movie too. Better be good!
@@heads_together_crypto2422 going to be terrible. Just like bert.
Can’t wait to hear the Mark Hamill interview where he talks about working with Bert Krishner
The love that tom has for bert is unconditional. Texting his wife about the colonoscopy that's awesome
read this as "unconstitutional" and I still agreed
Most of us have that friend that is perpetually saying dumb shit, and we have no business being friends, but they bring us so much entertainment that we love them in a weird way.
ok well lets do it on Thursday hahahahahahahahaha GOLD xD
@@EastboundAndDowns ahhhhhh plenty of clowns have sweet souls.
It’d be funny af to force all ur friends to go get colonoscopies lmao
There’s something so heartwarming seeing a man scheduled his less responsible friend’s colonoscopy
omg yes!!!!
Tom didn't schedule a colonoscopy. He called LeeAnn and told her to schedule a colonoscopy.
Tom didn't schedule anything, he left a message.
@@VideoNozoki Way to nitpick.
@@VideoNozoki you seem like you were a lot of fun at parties lol
@@curlsp7921 : I've told you many times before, I will *not* go to a "party" with you. You KNOW I am happily married. For the last time, just let it go - two star-crossed lovers. It was never meant to be.
Bikes!
I love that Tom cares enough to message leann in front of bert clearly against bert's wishes.
Tom's "the office" faces are the best. Lmaooo
"what are you, a powerlifter?!" Had me rolling.
Tom's child being a frog catching Bert kid is the best cruel joke God could ever play on Tom's family.
Nice profile pic now i gotta watch it chancho i need to borrow some sweaaats
I thought the same thing. 😂😂😂 and would be even more cruel if f Bert actually died and Tom’s son immediately grabbed the Kool aid
Christina would never allow it
What’s your first language?
Can’t wait for the Blu-ray extras with Bert’s 9 hours of commentary
and that's only the first hour...
What’s funny is, he would not miss the opportunity to do a scene to scene commentary hahaha “Blu ray comes with 100+ hours of never heard or wanted to be heard commentary by the machine himself, brint krischner”
God bless the director who had to sit through Brett reading his lines for that movie
I tried my best but it's hard to read lines when I gotta get my gallon of kool-aid in for the day
RIGHT, KILL ME NOW
Tom is slowly turning into top dog. He called Brent “buddy” numerous times on this episode
Aaaaa hunned percent
If you listen closely, Tom and his dad sound a lot alike, so it makes sense.
Bernt's sponsorship readings have improved significantly after his first venture into acting. Can't wait to enjoy a bud light seltzer while watching this movie
Aw he learned to read
Bert tapping his fingers on the table after Tom shows him the Jennifer Aniston photo is priceless 😂
I read this as I saw it... or did this happen multiple times
Definitely seemed like an Anxiety tick lol.
I was screaming for a photo and then tom had one and im like, yoooooo tom! Bad friend move lmao!!! "Hey, wanna know i met the woman of your dreams?"
@@rog6646 has anyone else noticed this trend? i see people say this in comments of youtube all the time, and it has definitely happened to me multiple times. "read it as I saw it."
It's so cool to see two genuinely funny friends be successful in their own rights and be successful together and individually. I bet it's so exciting to see your best friend succeed and be apart of the same field.
It's happening just as I said it would...the healing phase of being "scared to death" is pneumonia, aka "flu". So as people are released from the solitary confinement of their homes (because of media and government lies based on the fraudulent Germ Theory), and people begin to get happy and feel less stressed, the result will be the healing phase....of pneumonia, flu, colds, general sickness. You can also see the light sensitivity, appendicitis in some, numerous tooth problems and gum swelling, laryngitis, etc. The fear campaign has caused ALL the illnesses, not a Boogey Virus.
Every disease is based on the Germ Theory, which was the theory of ONE man over 100 years ago. It was never proven to be 100% valid, and has not even been QUESTIONED again. Why? In order for a theory to be valid, it must be reproduceable in each and every person 100% of the time. Every single person exposed to a "virus" MUST get sick from it 100% of the time, over and over again. It's how you PROVE a theory is valid. This was never done. Scientists used to think witches and witchcraft were valid!! Educated people?? hahaha!! If you cannot "catch" cancer, arthritis or diabetes from another person, then you cannot "catch" a cold or flu. There is no such thing that only SOME diseases are communicable, but not all. It's either all or none of them...they are all based on the same Germ Theory. If you can't "catch" someone's lung cancer, you can't "catch" their colds or flu. Upsetting and distressing events in a person's life is what causes ALL cancer and cancer-equivalent disease, cold, flu, pneumonia, bronchitis, etc. A massive fear campaign will CAUSE people to be "worried sick", but sickness doesn't happen until people resolve their fears. Why do you think kids get sick in October? Because their fear of going back to school and being upset about it finally dissolves, and they get back into their routines. What the media and government is doing to people is criminal.
So of course, when everyone is allowed to escape the hostage situation the governments have put their people into, and they start relaxing about the "scary virus" that's not in any way transmissible, they will begin their healing phase (get sick), and the corrupt governments will call it a different “scary” word, a different Boogey Man coming to get you.....repeat the same mistakes that never worked from the beginning, re-institute the same restrictions that only made people more traumatized, and more panic will ensue as well as martial law, a removal of all your rights, and you let it happen. The longer people allow this government to hold them hostage in their homes, the more severe the "sickness" will be. Western Medicine is pure fraud, and people's lives are destroyed because of it. Welcome to your North Korea.
42:54 Nadav forgets the product placement and you can actually see Tom's brain make a note to beat him for it later.
I love how Tom didn’t even bother to hear what this new colonoscopy substitute Bert did and immediately contacted Leeann to proactively set things in motion. Tom’s a good friend.
Agree that he’s a good friend. However it should be noted that FIT and cologuard are legit colon cancer screening modalities.
Alexander Newton Here's the problem with colorguard. You go thru all the steps & if anything pops up you have to do the real thing anyway.
@@alexandernewton5853 true. But there’s other things aside from cancer that can be seen during colonoscopy that those kits can’t check. Also, any precancerous polyps can be removed.
not looking forward to having to check if my dogs are walking with a limp again now that brent’s back in the states! but i did miss his stench.
At least the ones in Serbia are safe now
@@Stephen_Eee And now they have a new weather phenomenon, where every time the stench of shit rolls in all of the local dogs cover their assholes with their tails
@@Stephen_Eee True. Considering he probably BONKED them to death… 😬 God rest their holes. SOULS. I MEAN SOULS!
^ love all these replies
@@gracegood1356 same this is some funny stuff.
I love how much Tom actually cares about Brent. He scheduled a colonoscopy immediately when he found out
Tom didn't schedule anything. He called LeeAnn like a secretary, and LeeAnn is going to schedule a colonoscopy. (Tom sent a voice message to his friend's wife ≠ calling the doctor's office and setting up an appointment.)
@@VideoNozoki Nice 1
@@VideoNozoki why are you the way you are
@@VideoNozoki at least he cared enough to make LeeAnn aware of his concern for Bert and didn’t just write it off
The fact that Bert says "I don't want to talk too much about the movie" at the 1 hour mark had me laughing 😅
And then continued to go on and talk more about the movie 😂
Mark?
@@Stbuster31 yes. The 1 hour mark.
It’s a way of saying at 1 hour or the 1 hour point of the video.
@@Jayonthehill oh hi mark
@@Stbuster31 lol not many people will get that quote 😂😂
Everybody just simply "falls" and get injured in Tom's circle
Those coffees are not easy to get right.
"HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT" - Jesse Pinkman
He's ready for some tatts
Yeah...I wouldn't question it if you value your health..
Tom can get to you anywhere. even Serbia
“I don’t want to talk about the movie” proceeds to spend the entire podcast talking about the movie
I can’t believe I’m this happy to have Bert back I won’t take him for granted anymore lol
Me too man! The guests while he was gone were a let down honestly
@@bradbehney40 total bs. Stop being so bitchy.
@@holymacarenafin2319 nobody was bitching but ok keyboard warrior lmao 😂 just like the Bert tom dynamic. But ok guy get butthurt 😂🤷
@@holymacarenafin2319 Stop taking everything personal. You don't have to defend them in every single comment thread. They're big boys. They'll be fine.
Listening to Brendan schaub will make you realize just how sht he is and how much better anyone else is lmao
When Bert said “keep his name in this time” and said the directors name, I SCREAMED. LMFAO😂😂
"you're good about being quiet and letting people get a... thought in"
"are ya done?"
I fucking love these two
They should do Bert's straight cast facing forward and upward at a 45 degree angle.
lol
😄
This one needs more 👍
Love when Bert spirals about Leeann. Tom knows how to poke at his anxiety and get him going. I'm glad you are back. You were missed!
She was a bum when he met her and only has money because of him. Yet she was a producer? lol!
I'm glad he's back, but I also loved all the guest bears. I think the real takeaway is Tom is awesome.
The pure joy Tom gets when tormenting Bert over the surgery is golden. I love it.
Right off the bat, Tom literally said his first sentence and Brett interrupts him. It's good to have Brett back
After Brendan, Brent isn't even that bad.
Better than having Brendan schaub interrupting
It really isn't and I wish he got Chechniya'd in Serbia.
I have never laughed harder than Bert's reaction to Tom having lunch with Jennifer Aniston without him at 9:25
He didn't have lunch with her.
@@dobermanracing ya dont say
Bert is such a sweet guy, lol. His reaction to a guy at a bachelor party cheating on his wife, haha.
Now that berts in a movie, we will NEVER hear the end of him talking about acting the same way Brendan talks about stand up.
*brandon
Really I think you'd be surprised, i really do,i think he'd fuck you up
12:18 we get our first “Uhhhhundread Percent” from Bruce. I’m whole again
it's at 12:14 - that's it buddy, yer done
I love Bert's story about how he becomes a better person after receiving criticism. Very nice!
Bert's wife telling him to drink and enjoy HIS movie is wholesome af
This movie is going to be like a make-a-wish kid starring in a straight to DVD movie and I'm all for it
Absolutely 😆
One hhuuuundrrewed percent lol
Supposed to go to cinemas, fingers crossed it does.
Bart Screaming about Lori Loughlin is the best lmao. We’ve missed you Brett
I didn't.. at all.
Easy with that "we" talk. Every half started story and speedy talking gives me anxiety.
@@pinkyizthebrain2397 then why watch 2 bears? Go to Tom talks then lol
@@kjcorder lol go watch Tom talks
This has likely already been mentioned. Whoever is laughing in the background deserves a six figure salary. That guy's laugh is the best. I'll giggle at a joke Tom or Bert says but when that guy laughs for some reason it just fucking tickles me the right way.
It’s a shame he’s going to be murdered for his gambling debts
@@navebushes5717 🎶Nadav is gamblinggggg🎶
@Yo Dad is it actually? I always thought it was a real guy
It is a real guy, it’s nadav, one of the booth bois
@Yo Dad zero laugh tracks bud.
You know how when someone is further from you, it sounds a little softer than if they were in front of your face? You know, like how sound works? Well the fancy thing, in front of everyone’s faces, is called a microphone and essentially works like your ear, in the sense of if you’re a foot back from it or your face is turned at slightly different angle(instead of straight on with the mic) it’ll sound quieter and notably different than someone that is facing the mic and especially if they’re closer. The reason you’re hearing different types is because Native might be looking at the screens turned away from the Mic on some and others he’s doing nothing but talking/laughing into the mic. Also…people tend to have a wide variety of laughs and pitches of said laugh…some things are just funnier than others which makes people laugh more intensely. If you laugh, in only one pitch and ton, your entire life..there’s definitely a few wires not connected. Learn how sounds and audio works before claiming there’s a laugh track when you can clearly see the booth boyz cracking up. Only laugh track on this show is the intro
Smiled through the whole episode. So great to have Burnt and Tim together again.
Having Brenden on last week was simply a way to trick us into thinking we're happy that Bert is back.
100 %
Didn't even watch it. Can't stand Schaub.
@@michaeldoyle189 I have no issues with Schaub but man I couldn't finish that one. It was just boring.
Lmao!! So true
@@josemauricio9629 boring is why people don’t like shcaub, among the many other reasons why he gets hate.
30:29 Bert's rage and reset had my cracking up!
PSA: Tom didn't hurt his arm again. He had to have surgery to repair the nerve that he messed up during the dunking incident. He talked about it on YMH awhile back.
Thanks I’ve been digging in the comment to find an explanation.
@@brax300 same, i was going mental lol.
I knew this, but didnt think to tell everyone who might not know.
Good on you, have a great day.
Thanks for the PSA
thank you!!!
Thanks Dad
I love Tom’s facial expressions and looks he shares with the camera/audience.
Yeah Jim is really good this episode, Dwight on the other hand....
If ya know your fourth wall breaks... Tom does a perfect Jack Benny.
Tom is great Burnt ketchup is just as good.
Tom breaks the fourth wall 🤯
That was a great insight when Bert talk about the respect he had for the movie process. Strangely, I have a greater appreciation for actors and directors. But from behind the scenes, must be magical to watch.
Tom: “wanna go get coffee?”
Bert: “is this a bit?”
Tom: “yeah. Wanna see where it goes?”
Bert: “will you put me on a weight loss program for my surgery?”
It’s funny, after Bart got back he seems so much more level, in touch and is actively listening and in touch.
You said in touch twice. You're out of touch
@@Slim_T_ODB I'm out of time.
I love this podcast because y'all just make me feel like I'm watching my uncles have a conversation 10/10
All of a sudden the set reeks of booze and a combination of body odor and pool chlorine… Is something different?
@TheGoFuckYourself Network Jesus Christ shut up 😂 I've seen you comment the same bullshit over the last few comments, it's pathetic 😂 We get it, you didn't like the guests 😂
At least we don’t have to listen to Brendan schaub this week
What do you think that microphone smells like
A little bit of cool aid too
And dog anus
Tom “i like the present u got me so much that I got a better version of it” 😂
Bud light rep: you need to drink a few sips in the episode
Tom: chokes down a few sips
It's always good to see THE bears together. I hope everything goes fine with Bert's surgery.
He already had surgery, everything went good.
I couldn’t be happier that Bert is back , I loved the other guys but this is a match made in heaven 🥳
Boy I'll tell u what..
It's been fun but nothing is better thn Tom n Bert 🔥
they love each other so much it's legitimately so sweet
RIP Bart. Can’t wait to see what Rex brings to the show!!
Bert is definitely someone who "you don't know what you have til it's gone". Him and Tom together are so good
This made my whole month that your back, I love you bruce kersher
I think I speak for everyone when I say I didn’t realize how much I missed Brad Crusher on the show
BRETT KERSHER
Burnt Chrysler
Brent Crushner
Was this movie Bert’s make-a-wish gift lmao.
“I would like a movie with me as the star of a Russian mafia and I want the real Luke Skywalker in it”
When Brit is telling Tom about the doctor calling him strong, Tom’s face looks like the face of a retiree’s wife when he keeps coming to her and telling her about his new hobby for that day.
Time stamp?
Start at 15:45 the face is at like 16:01.
Hey, I know everyone likes to poke fun at Burt for his quirks…But I’d like to take a serious second to mention how talented, creative, entertaining, and intelligent Bert truly is. We all love him, and even though we joke, 2B1C wouldn’t be the same without that guy!!
This something Burnt Chrysler would say 🤔
Burt's Burner account detected.
Welcome back Bert We Missed you. Can’t wait to watch your Movie! Let’s get this podcast to 1MiL!!!!!!!!
The level of concern on Brent's face when Terry is talking to him about the anesthesia is great
Tim missed Burnt so much, his heart was aching more than his injuries.
Watching the life exit Brent's eyes when Tim said "egg whites and spinach" was fucking phenomenal.
Crazy how Bert gained the weight that Tom lost.
They're in sync like an old pair of nuns
Bart: "I have a hard time spending money"
also Bart: Buys Tom a jet ski for his birthday
To be fair it was only like a $15,000 JetSki
bart
Joy! Pure joy! The two bears are back in the cave together and all is right with the world.
I watch the kool aid bit 3 times a week and I am tired from laughing everytime
"I don't want to say her name, she's my co-star." Real smooth Brent.
Tom is just eyeing that “G” hat Brent is wearing with rage in his eyes
G logo here and a G logo here
Tommy talking about bud lights while bret is drooling over the table
Lmao
"You texting Leane?"
'Yep."
*gasp*
The IMDB “trivia” on his movie is at a whole new level!😂😂
I’m so excited for this episode. Damn it’s good to have Bert back
The fact Tom met Jennifer Anniston before Bert did has me dying 😂 😂 😂 ☠️
Hey he didn’t meet Jennifer Aniston I think he showed Bert a photo of his fucked up arm after/during surgery. Pretty sure
The sheer joy in toms face when he shows Brent...
Time stamp?
@@kaetce it's in the first 5 minutes
@@kaetce 9:26
'Beat it, scissor-lips..." - holy shit i missed you Bert.
never leave us again.
I think it’s great that everyone in Toms life is now injuring themselves one by one to match the huge influence of Tommy Bunnz
same. "my elbow rehab is the same as yours, Tom". i might as well break my cock instead of moving to Austin.
What is Tom's latest injury? Why is his hand wrapped like that?
So glad I can finally listen to this podcast again.
You should stop now. Only shaub was edgy but others were great.
Thank god they didn’t have Brendan schaub on this week. What a relief
I only have been listening Bc Bert was gone. Gave a it a vailiant effort but after dealing with the add of 15 different stories with no endings and all interruptions I’m out. Made it 18:37 in😂😂
There needs to be a podcast called "Berting around the Bush" where Brent just never gets to the point and goes on increasingly unrelated tangents the whole time.
That’s a pretty accurate description of this podcast 😂😂
Dang, you just described my husband no wonder his favorite comedian is burnt
@Cj At least with Bertcast there’s a chance he’ll finish making a point once every 10 minutes or so, lmao
So glad that Bart is back. Great to see Tom laughing so much again
"I had to be fat in the movie" But he tried to get in shape before he left 😂 i love Burnt
The fact that Bert is afraid of “going under” yet puts himself under every time he gets wasted drunk.
That’s his secret. He’s always drunk. Can’t go under if you’re already at the bottom.
SO GREAT BERTY BOY’S BACK , GOOD TO SEE YA BUD 🐻🐻🔥💯👊🏽👏🏽
Yeah I wish bort would stick around more often I really like when Tim is laughing and happy
New Drinking Game!!!
-Take a shot everytime they adjust their 🎤🤣🤣
All outta love guys, seriously love this!!
Bert looks so happy, I'm so glad for him
I think I figured it out!! Bert doesn't like AA because so many people there have better stories than him!!!
Anything that involves stopping drinking he isn't gonna like
Everyone at aa is pathetic and their stories are poorly told and uninteresting
Omg, I never thought of it that way! 😂
I mean, they made a van wilder movie based on Brent's life, so like do they?
Idk..I think if he was in the right group he would become their leader
Tom's eye roll and beverage slug @ 49:25 when Brent is discussing his first day acting had my dumbass crying with laughter.
Tom’s cuts to the camera…classic 😆
Bert sounds like Larry David when he overthinks the whole kissing thing
Making an 8 hour road trip to see Tom this Saturday, my jeans are so damn tight
Damn, I was really hoping Burr would be on for an ep before Bert came back
Ol' Billy Berenstain definitely needs to come on the show!
This is prerecorded from before he left. He's not back yet.
@@eboogie6158 so all those stories from the movie set were made up??
Olllllll’ billeptical burr
@@eboogie6158 no. This is brets 1st podcast back AFTER shooting the movie
I was expecting a 4 hour recap lol, regardless over excited to have the bears back in the cave!
19:39 Tom is a real friend, wholesome shit
One of the best episodes ever! SO glad Bart is back.
We’ve had a good run, folks. I will miss Tom’s voice, ideas, and opinions.
Tom has the "I'm on pain killers so I must be right" vibe. I wish him a speedy fucking recovery!
Only Burt could tear exactly “59%” of his tendons