Your New Roles with an Empty Nest - Michele Howe
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- Опубліковано 9 лип 2024
- Michele Howe describes the joys and sorrow of entering the empty nest years; how surprised she was by grief when her son went off to college, despite the fact two daughters left home before him. She discusses the transitions parents have to go through to establish a new identity when their primary parenting role is over, and why they need to refocus on their marriage. Michele also talks about appropriate boundaries with adult children to return to live with their parents. In addition, she describes the many difficult years of dealing with a prodigal daughter who went through a downward spiral of partying, drinking, and crime.
You can find her book in our store here: bit.ly/2HLRr7O
Michele and her husband had to practice “tough love” and firm boundaries until their daughter turned her life around. A common theme for this interview is trusting the Lord for life circumstances which are out of your control.
As a single mom that gave every ounce of myself to raising my children, it was shocking to me how deep this hit me. It feels like a broken heart 💔 I woke up not knowing who I was after 35 years...
Totally understand that. I hope a year on, you are doing much better.
Thank you for addressing this, I have been grieving for years, just not knowing what to do with my life after being a full time, homeschooling mother and housewife for close to thirty years. I am still floating in a void wondering where I will settle for the next season. But the sadness is real and I appreciate knowing that I am not alone. Blessings!
God bless you Paula! Me too. I've been struggling with depression since I lost my purpose. Now I have to "get out there" like I'm someone I'm not and compete with 25 year olds? I need to be needed. My kids have always taught me to step off and take it to the Lord and for that I'll be forever grateful although painful. My husband has his work and his calling. I do his dishes. It's good to know I'm not alone in this season.
Bless you Kathy, Take heart and live your best life every day:-)
I am terribly miserable without my kids..
I am you…well said, Paula. I am praying for us. Thank you!
Now I understand why my college professor went to college after her 4th child left the house. She went to college and didn’t stop to become a professor. And she was amazing. She never stopped working and she was a great professor. So now I understand why she got out of the house. And got a career.
This woman is the only person I've heard and seen that rings true. I TOTALLY relate to every WORD she spoke.
Life is a new journey now that my kids are raised and moved out of the house. This past year, I lived through my house being quiet without the hustle and bustle that children bring. Grieved that raising kids went by too fast. Our 2nd lives are ahead of us now and navigating it together. Relationship with my husband is all new, we’re trying to know each other again. We talked about finding new hobbies and interests. Wow that’s new bc my life was my child and her activities. It’s the Second Act of our lives and takes work at learning about yourself. 💜🙏🏻☀️
It’s difficult situation as a single mother
Even as a married, it's painful because I raised my son single up to 5th grade. My husband stepped in but I definitely feel the grief now that my son is 25. I'm 45 and a younger empty nester so I feel even more isolated because I'm not an older empty nester, neither do I have any more kids!
Thank you so much for explaining that when they leave that is grief. I am a single mom and work from home now. I feel like a stranger around them now on the rare instance I see them. I don’t want to bother them but I want them to know I still love them. They are ungrateful to me and they will not understand how much I sacrificed for them. They prefer to be with their father as he has spoiled them and focused on being their friend. I focused on being their mother/parent.
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I feel you. It happens....
Day 2 of my empty nest and I'm so happy! I can't stop dancing. I was a single mom for most of 28 years. 2 children all grown up. 21 year old moved out 2 days ago.
BLISS! Full circle stuff right here.
I sure hope I will soon feel that way too. My son moved out a week ago. And it seemed to take a few days to actually sink in. Right along with being sad and missing him. I hope this too will pass.
@@TheCGAILSMITH Come on over, sit on my balcony and hang out with me girl. You could not be sad. We will DANCE our life to the fullest, lol.
@@Godisfirst21 aww thanks! That would be great! If you live anywhere near me I will definitely be there.
@@Godisfirst21 are you in Brantford? Because I'm in Hamilton.
Beautiful advice. I too, was shocked at how empty the empty nest phase left me,
Me too, very shocked!
Me too. I dropped my son off at college today and have been sobbing all day.
I’m a dad and I’m suffering this, yes I understand it’s probably mainly mother’s that have this condition but please don’t disregard the fathers
My husband is going through this just as much as I am. If you are married, let your wife know you are suffering. I was so grateful when my husband finally 'confessed' he had cried after our daughter left for college. if you aren't married, tell a friend in a similar situation. Men grieve just as much as women.
When I got divorce 32 years ago I fought my wife for 10 yrs in court and finally got custody of both my boys. One son left 10 years ago when he purchased a home to grow his family and now my youngest is next to follow he too purchased a home. My sons helped me through the difficult times for 10 years after I became single, after losing my second relationship in my life. I'm now married and have one step daughter and a new wife for ten years now. Though my son is much older now I never really wanted to see him leave and this caused alot of friction between me and my wife. But now I'm having a hard time coping that in a few short weeks he will move out and I can no longer help by providing shelter which is what I did for him the last 22 years. Thought I love my step daughter and wife it is very hard having my youngest now leaving. It feels like a part of me is dying, :^(
My daughter is entering senior year college and total grief-missing her so much.
I like her. Shes real. To recieve for me, that makes all the difference. She doesnt have that churchy stiffness or use the lingo. She will reach alot of women on the "outskirts" of the "church". Love it.
I feel so fortunate to get to document this journey. I started vlogging today about these last 5 years before they leave for college. I want to be able to look back and see all the amazing moments and my thoughts in the years that led up to them leaving home. It’s exciting and heartbreaking at the same time. It’s like being forced to work part time for a full time job that you love. Thanks for sharing this.
I like that idea of writing a vlog think that I might start writing a diary. My youngest is now 15 I missed out on so much with his brother who died aged 15 years from COVID. Thank you for sharing.
@@tanzianne3820 I am so sorry to hear about your son.
My 2 daughters left home together, they have moved about 200 miles away. Both me and my husband are both struggling with the loss. My youngest daughter just 19 years old, whereas my other daughter is 25. They are renting a house together.
YES! My parents set contracts with me. I'm happy to say it worked for me.
I would like to be interview as single black mother raising two black boys who are very different in adulthood
My husband and I are empty nesters since 2016. We became unhappy and just being housemates. We sleep on separate beds but we love each other but suddenly my husband became busy with his new hobby but I'm not in it. This past Thursday he asked for divorce. It hurts so much because I love him so much and after 33 years almost 34 this coming March I'm going to lose my best friend. But I guess I took him for granted just being depressed all the time.
This is supposed to be posted in the empty nesters episode.
This is one of the best interviews I’ve heard from FOF. Great interview and a great wealth of helpful information . Thank you for such honesty and such a beautiful picture of redemption .
Because shes REAL. I'd NEVER share this stuff with "church sisters". This is REAL LIFE STUFF. A
I'm a single Dad, my daughter's mum is dead. I miss my daughter. This is all about caregivers and nothing about women and men. Thanks for the discussion.
Most of the time "they" don't weather the problems "together" most of the time one of parents is very alone and weathering the problems by themselves. No matter how many times they asks the spouse to participate and that they are needed they do nothing. That's how they break up after the kids are gone.
Michele’s book helped me immensely.
Beautiful! Thank you thank you thank you ❤️
Excellent.. Thank you!!
Michele - sorry for mis-spelling your name! I have compassion for your struggle with your daughter; though that is NOT my story, that was what happened with me INDIVIDUALLY, back when I was 15-17. My parents stepped on the breaks; my parents were Christians and decided to kick me out of their home though they supported me while I redeveloped my life with school and work.
I'm a single mother of 2 young children (5 & 3) - why am i watching this? 😅
Amen.
You grieve the loss of purpose. The impact of protection you offer your children is no longer. You have to pray for their protection. It’s fear of the unknown.
So so true
Hmmmm....
I'm here trying to figure me out. My only child divorced from his Dad. But he freaked out more than I did when our son moved into the dorms. Now he hogs our kids free time. So I dont get many weekends with him. He's innrhe same city but he says he doesnt need me to bring him food weekly anymore as he packs leftovers from his Dad's on the weekend. 😢
I raised my kids as a single mom of 2 ..young mom.... theyre both emaculuate humans.... life is sad after babies...suicidal after thoughts... sorry you never got to experience that
Why Africans, Asians and Europeans suffer less of empty nests issues?
Empty nest can't come soon enough
I wish I felt that way! I don’t want my daughters to leave.