The Negative Side of Positive Thinking
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- Опубліковано 23 вер 2024
- Sometimes bad things happen to good feedback.
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References:
Blanton, H., Cooper, J., Slkurnik, I., & Aronson, J. (1997). When bad things happen to good feedback: Exacerbating the need for self-justification with self-affirmations. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23(7), 684-692.
Kappes, H. B., & Oettingen, G. (2011). Positive fantasies about idealized futures sap energy. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 47(4), 719-729.
Sherif, M., & Hovland, C. I. (1961). Social judgment: Assimilation and contrast effects in communication and attitude change.
Wood, J. V., Perunovic, W. E., & Lee, J. W. (2009). Positive Self-Statements Power for Some, Peril for Others. Psychological Science, 20(7), 860-866.
Music by Podington Bear:
"Blanks" (freemusicarchiv...)
"La Di Day" (freemusicarchiv...)
"Happytime" (freemusicarchiv...)
Thank you for this. I suffer from social anxiety and body dysmorphia, and people have no idea how bad they make me feel when they say shit like "Be more outgoing!" or "You should love yourself, you're beautiful!" Those are the two cruelest things to say to people with social anxiety and body dysmorphia. They don't understand that we're not in control of these issues. Its like telling someone with Cancer to just "be healthy"
This is exactly my problem, although I don't have body dysmorphia, only social anxiety. Honestly, I think having low self esteem is actually good for you. When you fall, you don't fall as hard.
Yes, exactly, I suffer from social anxiety, depression, and low self esteem. My mom tells me to just "cheer up"...I also get bullied at work in which makes me feel worse.
You just gotta stand up for yourself it’s something you must do even if it’s scary you must do it it’s your habits that make you think that way believe in yourself don’t think badly and stay calm
People an situations are harmless without your reactions nobody can MAKE YOU FEEL ANYTHING WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION...nobody can drive your car if YOU DONT GIVE THEM the key...if you think people can make you sad or angry that means there in control of YOUR EMOTIONS ...nobody can MAKE YOU ANGRY you CHOOSE TO RESPOND WITH ANGER......only person that can hurt YOUR FEELINGS IS YOU...
It's not about being an optumist a pessamist. Or having low expectations or high expectations.
It is about being critical and looking at a situation from both sides and then choosing the ine that benefits you the most
Could not have said that better bud.
As Albert Einstein once said "Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them." Same concept applies to psychological and motivational processes. For example: An overweight person will never strive to lose weight if they never realize they're obese.
"I'm thin and healthy!" *continues to eat cake, chocolate, and a McDonald's Hamburger*
Finally, thank you for debunking a large chunk of self-help crap
boriss vassiljev Yes ikr
I used to have low self-esteem. When I told myself the things like, "I will succeed," it had a negative effect, because I could see from the last 15 incidents (okay, selection bias) that I would probably mess up again. Now my attitude is "eh, I'm me, so if I strive to be better, then whatever happens is fine."
these kind of motivational sentences always seem senseless to me.
They're not magic spells, you need some will to make them work.
Tommaso Ribaudo But you cannot make them work if you don´t feel that way.
"you cannot make them work if you don't believe in them"? is that what you're meaning?
Tommaso Ribaudo yes. You cannot simple believe in something. This isn't just something that you choose. It's a complex and unnoticed process.
+Eduardo Felipe it's about the emotional weight on our cognition, or thoughts that lets us believe things are real.
when our eyes see a cat, we believe there's a cat because the stimuli is so convincing. when we say "i will succeed" without genuine passion attached to your thought convincing our subconscious, the thought wont be believed. The cat is perceived through the eye, rendered in the visual cortex, associated with emotional memory of cats, then into awareness. With saying affirmations, we have to battle our egos emotional insecurity and inhibition with rational understanding before thoughts will be accepted.
the "quote" itself is superficial, but truly understanding the power of belief in it's essence, whether perceiving a cat, or internal thoughts, is extremely powerful for any living being.
WE CREATE OUR REALITY. Cogito ergo sum
Positive people are constantly overestimating how much beverage they have left.
Love this video format! It's very visual and easy to follow. Definitely, will be checking out more vids.
Hi Psych2Go. ❤️❤️
I'll have to share this video with the people on FB who continuously post all that nauseating positive affirmation tripe, especially the awful crap from Upworthy. A good outlook is to hope for the best but expect the worst.
Just a thought, not saying this is always the case but since I been studied circumstances and situations people involved I find: People with low self esteem are pessimists (but they are rather truth tellers), while people with very high self esteem are arrogant/optimistic (If they dont get what they want, they might be cry babies), where as the realitstic people are confident, try not to take life granted, not have too much high expectations and can tackle negative effects in life.
I wish I could find more ppl like you
When I once tutored a grade school child many years ago, I told her my belief that the two things anyone needed to achieve anything are both confidence and focus. While the "confidence" includes all the cliched positive thinking, "focus" encompasses not necessarily negative thinking, but being aware of the reality of the situation as well as having the mental diligence of carrying out the task. I feel like this kind of parallels some of the things described in this video.
Cuckoo Phendula
I suspect even telling some people to focus (why are you telling me to hold an idea which at all suggests that there's something to fix or that I'm not already perfect in every possible way?) these days will be taken as "don't tell me what to do". It's really out of all control and proportion, the incessant positivity.
These seem like senseless slogans rather than positive thinking - which in my view is being able to react positively to negative circumstances
Always assume the worst.
Be surprised by success.
Very stoic
Yeah I can definitely see this. My best friend is delusionaly optimistic and so he is really lazy- no amount of previous failure stops him from thinking he's invincible.
If he's actually trying, and failing, and still optimistic, I'd say that's good though. I have a friend who think he's invincible by not failing because he's not doing anything.
failing means he's doing something and if he never gives up, I suppose it's a good thing.
to make it simple this video is trying to tell us BE REALISTIC AND HONEST to your self :))
Thinking too positive can lead to underestimating things and failing in them. Think realistic
Love this! I can't stand trite affirmations. People piss me off with these unsupported, unqualified statements. If all it takes for *YOU* to be happy has no basis in reasoning, good for you. Some of us need evidence.
About 30 years ago I started calling myself a realistic pessimist. If you always think of the worst thing that might happen in a situation, chances are what ends up happening is better than you expected.
It was only in the last ten years or so that I've heard other people describe themselves using the same term.
I'm an absolute dumbass.
*****
Just for that comment, I'd give you super powers lol
Pessimists can never be disappointed...
I find the pessimists are disappointed before anything bad can happen to them, giving them the illusion of never being disappointed.
I like your thinking .
@C Truth if you don't try, then you fail by default.
Sure they can! They used to be optimists.
-I'm unpopular
-I stand out like a sore thumb
-I will never achieve my dreams
-I'm half orphaned
-no one wants to date me
-I was once suicidal
-I live on the internet
Feel better about yourself by looking at my life
Wow, where did you find my biography?
Ugh that awkward hufflepuff ARE YOU MY LONG LOST TWIN!?!?
Ugh that awkward hufflepuff would you feel better if I tell you that I love you anyway? and I'm being serious.
seems normal to me
I shouldn't have watched this right in the middle of feeling bad -.-
One thing thing I learned in the Army (out of many) was that your mind can go farther than you think. If you thought that you can not finish a 12 mile or 25 mile road March, guess what you did NOT finish it without hurting. I was in the Infantry and in the Infantry you had to keep your mind straight and constantly tell yourself positive affirmations.
I’ve been struggling to get to grips with this, but this video has been so straightforward it’s refreshing
yeah, i have low self esteem, and while i can admire and enjoy certain levels of positivity from a certain emotional distance, like listening to certain power metal songs talking about hope, freedom, glory, etc, but when it comes to compliments, i always take compliments with a grain of salt, and i don't get positively motivated by "happy" or "inspirational speech". i'm pretty open minded about a lot of music, but i absolutely hate the song Happy by Pharrell Williams, lol... it's too.. happy... but then, before you start to think i'm just some emo metalhead, i like the song Firework by Katy Perry, so yeah, between power metal songs like Eagleheart and Hunting High & Low by Stratovarius, and Firework by Katy Perry, is the absolute peek of positivity i can enjoy in music before it conflicts with my grayscale personality.
effort is nothing but a means to an end, it doesn't matter how hard you try failing is failing no matter how you look at it - Akihisa YOSHII
If you see failure as nothing more than failure, then you've wasted a life experience.
I love your use of tacos in your videos.
R Taylor Why thank you!
Hoping to one day major in psych when I go to college in a year or two, these vids definitely seem like they would help. :] Subscribed.
.
TheCritMagnet Awesome to hear, thanks!
are you studying pysch at college?
All my teachers in my school keep talking about positivity and its making me more pissed because they want us positive while its not easy for everyone
TL;DR-- pessimists get work done, optimists are delusional
I think optimism is just as unhealthy as pessimism. While pessimists will often be unable to acknowledge the good stuff, optimists are similarly unable to acknowledge the bad. Acknowledging a lie over the truth is delusional, simple. Instead of trying to actually solve the problems in their lives, acknowledge their own shortcomings, or address an issue that is plaguing the project they are working on, an optimist will blindly march to their own failure.
A person should be balanced, acknowledging both the good and bad. I hate labels, people aren't really optimistic or pessimistic, but people resort to labels because it's easy to understand. If I had to use labels, I would consider myself a realist, but most self-proclaimed optimists in my life like to label me as a pessimist.
"You're such a negative person!" They proclaimed when I told them I was failing miserably in a difficult college course. Well sorry, but it's the truth. It was almost 3/4 through the course and I was sitting above 55% in the course. Everything I have been doing so far was causing me to fail miserably and I needed to drastically change my ways if I wanted to succeed. In the end, I worked my ass off, spent all my extra hours in the library, met with teachers after class, worked on weekends, and I succeeded. I now have a degree in economics from a respectable institution, and no longer have college debt.
If I were optimistic, I surely would have failed. I've had to work with self-proclaimed optimists on group projects, and myself and other "pessimists" had to do all the work. The optimists just stood by blissfully, knowing optimistically that the project would be a success (and they were right!). Behind every successful optimist is a stressed out pessimist fixing all the problems that the optimist refuses to see.
ShapelessHail After I was able to turn around the failing class and pass. The optimist said, "see, I told you you would pass! You need to be more optimistic." As if to suggest it was their optimism and not my own hard work that caused me to pass.
The Positive Thinking delusion is just like the delusion where people think if you just act confidently you will succeed in the work place; as opposed to, if you work hard and succeed, you will gain confidence. In my opinion, confidence is a symptom of success and hard work, not a cause of it. There are a lot of these delusional optimistic and confident people that can't seem to rebound after a failure because they simply can't understand how they could have possibly failed due to being so darn optimistic and confident. It's sad.
So, in a nutshell, "specificity"?
Really interesting thank you :) One suggestion: I would find it better if the videos were longer and more detailed. I want more information, more explanations :) just about 2 minutes more would be great.
What is the background music that starts playing at 1:06
I've heard it somewhere and I love it. Pleeease.
Extremes are often bad for either direction. Balance is key.
Despite what comments suggest, the video is true for me. People tend to praise me and encourage me in hope of raising my esteem. In reality, it causes me to compare the difference between the idealized me (the one as others tell) and the me as I perceive, which causes me more stress and negativity toward myself (i.e: "i'm not that person, stop describing me as such, argh!"). Talking shit about myself thought, makes me feel like I know my weaknesses and what to do to be a better person, thus feeling better (I.e: "I'm a shitty person and I will change myself, now that feels great"). Of course they don't work like that all the time, sometimes they reverse. Hope this clarifies something.
What if something that cannot be changed?how should we think or face about it?
Floydandsome Depends on the said thing. What exactly are you referring to? Sometimes, what can or cannot be changed/solved depends on your way of thinking and your resources to make it happen.
Psych2Go let say a close friend or family member passes away,shouldnt we use positive thinking to accpet that death is normal?or did i confuse it with logical thinking?
These characters where really cute, and I found this pretty helpful.
Positive thinking is only part of the process. You actually have to do things to make things better for you in your life. Positive thinking is like an energy drink a little bit. But if you drink too much energy drink bad for your health
th.
Can someone recommend a book? I just realised I've been unconciously blocking out positive affirmations that don't match my personal outlook. I need to harness this more effectively to use when I'm feeling depressed or pessimistic.
I love you :3 you're awesome, and with a small piece of effort, you can find joy in whatever you want ^_^
There, no book needed.
Talking in affirmative language is best for example it’s best to avoid using the phrase “ I’m not a angry” and instead to use the phrase “ I am fine”
Appreciate ur effort and the representation..great way of usingess graphic nd looks realistic.. Thanks
Enjoyed this one
So if positive thinking is a topic of modernism, the bad effects of positive thinking is a post modern concept, and this leads us more toward 'practical positive thinking'... it is fascinating how we keep evolving with ideas that better suit us over the years...
You're talking out of your ass. The oldest philosophies there are talk about dualism and the benefits of the negative.
@@themacocko6311 that is not what I was talking about. I just quoted the historical flow of events.
It doesn’t matter what we tell ourselves; how much we are prepared determines our success or failure
Yes, this explains so much why "positive thinking" doesn't work for me
This is going to be my new good night mantra: "I’m a creative and intelligent person because I subscribe to BrainCraft, for a new brainy episode every Thursday."
thank you person from australia for telling us how everything works.
what I do is just say I am an idiot, (which is true in some cases) and this makes me feel lower. because of this feeling, I want to strive to be smarter, and it helps me
Depression is the only thing l got from positive thinking and years of positive affirmations. Gave up on that shh and results started coming
As a disabled individual, I think the "positive thoughts" army unprepared me for my life. It wasn't until I coped with death and dying that I found my footing again.
This is similar to something I've seen with myself as well. I've noticed in those meditative videos, people will typically say something like, "let all negative things fade away" or "this is a safe space, with no stressors or worries". And I'll actually get stressed out when I hear that, because then I can only think about all my problems and upcoming things, and I think stuff like, "what am I doing, I need to be working on that stuff, not relaxing!" I know this is more of a "don't think about the thing and all you can do is think about it phenomenon" but this reminded me about that.
I read self-help books but none like those! No wonder I felt better afterward!
I'm a big sucker for Subconscious reinforcement, so i'll stick to positive thinking & visualization, but it's ALWAYS good to hear the other side of the story, thanks for sharing this!
How'd that work out for you?
There's nothing wrong with being doubting and leaving room for disappointment.
my brain automatically counter argues (and often times gets stuck on a loop doing this) against any positive or uplifting message.....
like if anybody tries to tell me why i shouldn't kill myself my brain will just start thinking about all the reasons why i should and why whatever they're saying is complete bullshit.... though when my partner tells me that she'll miss me but would totally support me if i decided to kill myself it's way easier to feel like i can stick around for a while longer..... (also getting treatment for my depression would be the first step for any suicide attempt at this point. need to get back the capacity to experience hope and the ability to focus and plan.)
Thank you for the post BrainCraft
Loved this video. Seen some of your other stuff too and it was good enough to justify a subscription.
Is it jut me who always thinks negative so that if any think bad happens im ready for the outcome and try my best to avoid them?
Basically we sometimes lie to ourselves and so there's a negative effect? Makes sense.
Wow, I would have never guessed it, thanks for the video.
Explains why the book in my self help class makes me feel shitty. I like the teacher much better
positive thiunking is good!!!!!
Thanx for the inspiring message
The title should be Negative Side to Positive Visualization or Positive Declarations.
There are many self help techniques and this is only one of them. Positive Thinking has almost nothing to do with positive declarations or visualizations.
Positive Thinking is generally about accepting failure as part of the journey that one needs to overcome and learn from to become wiser.
The title of this video should be changed.
I also fell in this trap because of many self help coaches and motivational videos.Now I realized that I must be unattached to outcomes neither thinking positively or negatively.Better to banned all self help,motivational videos in youtube and become illegal.Especially in this covid19 pandemic,now what can positive thinking help in this situation?
Therefore its really Bullshit and sucks! :-D
I frequently experience sleep intertia and the grogginess can last several hours for me.
I'm a successful person. I can do it.
This sounds similar to what Alan Watts called The Backwards Law. Fixating on the positive only reinforced the fact that you were in the negative. Accepting the negative helped you strive for the positive.
Great video my friend!
This is a great video.
Finally something that makes some sense:)).
now you have to make a video for positive side of negative thinking to go full circle
Interesting
BrainCraft I suggest you cite your ideas when you tell them. Do not say 'research suggest' or 'In a study'. Even though you have references, if you can not link your ideas to them through citations, it will be harder for those who are interested in the topic to find the idea that you just said. For example, 'participants with high self-esteem and low self-esteem repeated the phrase "I'm a lovable person". Researchers then measured their mood and feelings about themselves.'. Who are the researchers? From which study is this, from the references that you gave? Saying 'According to..', and then maybe adding the title of their study, journal, article, can make it easier for those interested in your topic to link them to the references that you gave. I can see that your whole topic are a sum of all those references, but it is almost useless if the viewers are not encouraged to read them as well if they are going to read them one by one just to find the specific idea that you stated.
I like the way you find and present your ideas, it's just that I think most viewers take these as outright facts without considering looking at references. I think encouraging people to learn more of the idea or topic that you presented is better than just telling them this and that, and you can do this by simply adding citations.
I hope you are able to read this, and maybe even share your thoughts upon this academic style of researching and learning.
Thanks for your thoughts Kyle, it's always a difficult balance trying to write an entertaining 2-3 minute video and go into detail about original research. I include the citations of all the studies I've mentioned in APA format in the description and links too where I can. The way I write things (according to; in one study) is how I was trained as a science writer - of course if you're writing online it's easier to hyperlink to the papers. Would it be helpful to add time codes where I've mentioned things next to the references?
BrainCraft Yes, that would be helpful. Although, I understand that it takes time and effort to make videos for engaging audiences that do not have a concept or background on a subject, adding specificity to your citations can encourage further research and learning on the subject. However, I understand that it may change the usual way you make videos a bit, adding time codes can be enough.
Thank you for noticing and replying my comment. Keep up the good videos! :)
Being too positive makes me think about Chris Trager from Parks and Rec.
Donkey Kong graphics had me click and watch! Yay for Nintendo Game and Watch.
I think you are quite wonderful. That's a positive statement well within my latitude of acceptance. How 'bout that! :)
Is there a positive side to negative thinking?
FailGirlGamer YUP! It helps in survival. Those who are more negative are less likely to take risks that may endanger them.
Demario Manors
Video is helpful, comment section is kinda toxic, tbh :( .
I KNEW IT
Sheer ignorance on the true power of POSITIVE THINKING. People who lose motivation or can't do it simply have not been led into a path where in their visualisations are imbued with authenticity and reality. In other words, it is a game, they have not been led to believe. Indeed we know the wise woman says "A little knowledge is more dangerous than no knowledge" - we have those without understanding spruiking positive thinking for reasons of ego and self worth, and they mislead those who follow their bidding.
Aanasti krubba wahae lu fahn
Thankyou for reading, in peace and gratitude
tosgem As you said, a little knowledge is more dangerous than no knowledge.
I hate positivity
But I guess opening the bottom side of the takis flavored snacks could make them far more tasty.
u quoted from HP
and one who reads self help books really does need help. It is best to start from reality and move on from there.
Spheretext
i dont see anyone commenting on the hp reference hmm...
Rai Taneil Maybe the fangirls are too busy on Tumblr to watch this video XD
DUDE I SERIOUSLY SCREAMED WHEN I SAW THE REFERENCE
Rai Taneil Keep watching her videos, there are a lot of them...
Life's a bitch, my wife's a bitch, and even my dog's a bitch.
Tacos!
The stereotypical optimist says phrases like, "at least it wasn't", and "it could have been worse". Such statements arise from having pessimistic expectations.
Trend me
Yeah I did not watch bcs I know that the positive side of negative thinking is far more important.
I prefer reality based thinking
Every day in every way...I get less tolerant of motivational bullshit.
so u don't think this work
Im fully convinced the only real science of human behavior is large cults/groups/races act certain ways ( sometimes based upon tradition and not always actual self ideas) and you cant really group and analyze the people inside those groups too much more. One of the first signs things like psychology is quackery is the psychologists never include the possibly large number of people who are actually analyzing the psychologist. There is a lot of people who do and buy whatever the tv says and they all look and act the same on the outside to fit in. That doesnt reprogram every aspect of their insides.
This video doesnt describe me. I am in control sometimes and I choose how i feel. Sometimes. Hell its kinda random how I may feel about any given situation at any certain time.
nononono boyboy i didn't have to subscribe to brain craft to be intelligent
oh, yeah, a study has shown
there are references in the description
Indeed. Sorry, didn't spot it
Checkmate you hippies
😂😂