How to Break the Loop of Obsession

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  • Опубліковано 15 вер 2024
  • Are you obsessing over someone and can’t seem to gain control of your thinking? Here’s how to break free from the loop of obsession and gain forward traction in your life.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 292

  • @troytempest290
    @troytempest290 4 роки тому +343

    “The truth about habits-if they’re not fed, they weaken” Jesus this is so powerful..!

  • @vegantastebetter
    @vegantastebetter 4 роки тому +258

    I think that we kinda become addicted to that loop. Somehow, sometimes, I find comfort in it.

    • @saysolinka109
      @saysolinka109 3 роки тому +3

      I'm obssessed with novels. If i don't read them, working life will be very boring but i need to let go. 😭

    • @Jls728
      @Jls728 3 роки тому +9

      You’re so right about that Larissa. I am currently going through it and it is a comfort even though it’s insane

    • @crsantin
      @crsantin 3 роки тому +19

      Very true. There is a certain weird comfort in it. A sort of self pity and torture. For me it’s time that works. Develop other interests and hobbies. Stay busy. Over time you let it go.

    • @squid2754
      @squid2754 3 роки тому +2

      exact same. sometimes when i find myself not thinking of anything it feels weird and then i search my day to find things that troubled me/pissed me off and somehow it feels normal again..

    • @CorioSnowww2024
      @CorioSnowww2024 2 роки тому +2

      @@crsantin what if I find it difficult to keep myself busy? 🥺

  • @armin38822
    @armin38822 3 роки тому +28

    Obsessing over someone simply comes from us thinking they are better than us,and becasue we doubt ourselves,our way of life,we think if this person was with us,if they validated us,we would feel amazing. But guess what..if this person actually got with you,after a while it would lose it's magic. Maybe after a year,maybe after 2 but all of your insecurites would stay with you,your unfullied life would stay with you. That's why,at this point I'm 100 % sure you first have to sort your life out before meeting someone who's boyfriend or girlfriend material. We all have our dreams and goals,short and long term. First,you need to get at least to level 1 of those goals. Actually reach it...be on the path you wanna be. Takes hard work but that's what needs to be done. After that you can welcome a person into your life.

    • @RobinandBeastboy
      @RobinandBeastboy Рік тому

      Thanks for the input Armin, you're certainly right and I can relate to this. Won't dwell deep into what you've said because it's self explanatory but priortising your personal goals is important and you're right. Me not doing this has made me not want to let anyone into my life due to the lack of readiness. The best part of this enigmatic bizarre journey is you become aware how and why this has impacted you, so you can avoid this from happening again after you finally reclaim full control over your mind. Seeking dopamine from a fantasy and when it does become fulfilled (unlikely) it never lives up to the hype and I can vouch for this in another situation. One time I started my new job, a girl liked me instantly and I never liked her throughout that duration she was into me, until I let her down that I wasn't into her so she stopped being my friend as a whole. I began overly thinking about her and I thought I did actually like her until we became friends again and the feelings were lost. The whole point is my subconscious created an emotional attachment due to my ego being vulnerable. This means my heart will give someone power if they simply show they don't like me which is a deeper issue with one's self esteem...
      Conclusively, prioritise your mental health, plan your goals, accomplish them, work on your insecurities and self esteem and lastly become fulfilled. Doing the hardwork may get you ready the next time you encounter another stage of romance.

  • @LadyofCleves65
    @LadyofCleves65 6 років тому +314

    My goodness what a lovely scene behind you there girl.

    • @SusanWinter
      @SusanWinter  6 років тому +71

      LadyofCleves65 Lake Como in the Italian Alps

    • @callmeishmaelk767
      @callmeishmaelk767 5 років тому +3

      There was a scene behind you? I must have missed it. Heh

    • @jeffhager9398
      @jeffhager9398 2 роки тому +1

      Lovely scene in front of her!

  • @jcsrst
    @jcsrst 4 роки тому +230

    When I have obsessive thoughts about something I tell myself the word "cancel" every time I think about it. It works for me!

    • @rocren6246
      @rocren6246 4 роки тому +5

      More often for me, the word suddenly becomes "the hell with it, I'm gonna do it."

    • @jcsrst
      @jcsrst 4 роки тому +4

      @@rocren6246 That's great if your obsessive thoughts are positive. I use my technique when they are negative.

    • @rocren6246
      @rocren6246 4 роки тому +8

      @@jcsrst Good for you. Fighting obsession makes a better man. I think obsession is always negative.

    • @rinthebaddest
      @rinthebaddest 4 роки тому +7

      Thank you! You have inspired me. My word to stop the loop of obsessive thoughts will be, "Disengage."

    • @quickchange4386
      @quickchange4386 4 роки тому

      @@rinthebaddest ooo! I really like that, Rin

  • @rocren6246
    @rocren6246 4 роки тому +13

    Is it just me? I remember vividly every crush ever since my childhood.

  • @boomerangsruckflug8513
    @boomerangsruckflug8513 7 років тому +149

    Sport always helped me a lot. Sweating like hell helps to fall asleep in the evening fast which avoids to get into any obsessive thinking. And the great side effect is being healthy and losing weight 😄 Thanks Susan and have wonderful holidays!

    • @SusanWinter
      @SusanWinter  7 років тому +8

      Thank you for your comment Mareille

  • @a.alexander9221
    @a.alexander9221 7 років тому +135

    This was very interesting. After watching this, I realized that keeping our text conversations, old photos of his, and keeping his number in my phone, even after I blocked him, was keeping me in the loop. I've deleted everything now. I'm feeling a flood of emotions, but I feel like what I did was for the best.

    • @SusanWinter
      @SusanWinter  7 років тому +14

      This is wonderful. Thanks for your commentary.

    • @SivaKumar-pf3ze
      @SivaKumar-pf3ze 5 років тому +1

      AsSeenOnTV record another with another sweet heart

    • @STEJTHEGREATEST
      @STEJTHEGREATEST 5 років тому +1

      Coward. Learn to face up to the pain, rather than hiding away from it.

    • @zaink7037
      @zaink7037 4 роки тому +2

      @@michigan1085 if that person you liked has moved on or doesn't want to know you it best is to try and remove those connections. I know it's hard doing it but it'll hopefully make you happier with yourself and life 😊.
      I liked this girl back in secondary school. Funnily we grew up together but both started liking each other midway through school after all those years. Both us went to college together. Only thing is I didn't get her number as she said it's 'inappropriate' plus she doesn't have social media. I haven't seen her for 4 years since we left college and went to different universities though I did see her when I was driving out my room 2 years back and she had such a big smile on her face. Recently I heard by my old friend I bumped into she might of gotten married and has a child which really has left me devastated. Don't know if no contact with her has made it a little better for me but trying to occupy yourself with stuff can also help though during lock down at the moment is difficult

    • @rocren6246
      @rocren6246 4 роки тому +2

      @@STEJTHEGREATEST Yes. If life is all about running away from our problems, what's the point of living.

  • @LymLevolveon
    @LymLevolveon 2 роки тому +6

    I wasn't obsessed with any person but I was obsessed with a tv show, basically an anime called Attack On Titan. I was just overthinking about it from a couple of weeks and couldn't stop thinking about it but this video really helped me Idk how but this was pretty useful...

  • @psychicmediumchrissybufali2889
    @psychicmediumchrissybufali2889 6 років тому +87

    Loops(the person) in my experience are just distractions to face you. always have a life before a person and during and when you start in the loop notice it's more than 99 percdnt of the time about wanting them it's about something you need to face about you and deal with(often it's dealing with childhood trauma or at least stems from that).

    • @ppiron6
      @ppiron6 6 років тому +1

      Very helpful - thanks!

    • @sandrabiekmann7424
      @sandrabiekmann7424 5 років тому +3

      It is about me.. sometimes I learn from people.. but i have to find my own way. So perhaps of is about healing from the past.. Perhaps a childhood trauma as you say.. Good point..
      And you are right make time for yourself and youre life.. You are very wise.. thank you..

    • @Edith.G.G.
      @Edith.G.G. 3 роки тому +3

      Totally. I discovered this in my last relationship and break up. I realized that I was using this men like a band aid for cover my wounds and problems of life. I was focusing my attention on him, instead on myself and my transformation process.

  • @webthom
    @webthom 4 роки тому +243

    tnx for the formula:
    1. Isolate it
    2. Identify it
    3. become aware of it
    4. create energy shift

  • @Delighttonyoutube
    @Delighttonyoutube Рік тому +7

    “The truth about habits if they are not fed they weaken” 💯💪🏽

  • @lrissunflower
    @lrissunflower 4 роки тому +26

    These methods worked for me just like Susan explained; once you resist your obsession one time and focus on something more important, you gain power and it becomes easier to do it the second time. I kept doing this and it got easier and easier; thank you for this advice

  • @mitch5077
    @mitch5077 5 років тому +33

    Just say "I Ain't Gonna Beg!"

  • @nermeenragab1055
    @nermeenragab1055 3 роки тому +4

    I deleted all phone numbers , photos , try to think of anything else .. it helped but he still invades my mind sometimes

    • @tomgreet3118
      @tomgreet3118 3 роки тому

      I know someone who can help you

    • @tomgreet3118
      @tomgreet3118 3 роки тому

      ➕2⃣3⃣4⃣8⃣1⃣0⃣1⃣2⃣8⃣3⃣4⃣2⃣3⃣

  • @Altheana
    @Altheana 3 роки тому +3

    The sound of the birds chirping in the background is so soothing…

  • @saraloug23
    @saraloug23 3 роки тому +4

    Aw geez. I’m still texting, had a cuppa together and now I’m in the loop again. I’m not doing myself any favours here am I. I don’t even want to go back to her, but that missing piece keeps pulling me back. Geezus this is so hard.

  • @bemmababb
    @bemmababb Рік тому +1

    it’s almost like they become an enigma to us after some time too so it’s even more enticing to check in

  • @Blessed8929
    @Blessed8929 7 років тому +74

    Love this, I have created such an obsession over this guy I met two years ago, it's bad I definitely needed this.

    • @SusanWinter
      @SusanWinter  7 років тому +5

      I'm glad to hear this.

    • @dr3amzKILLER
      @dr3amzKILLER 4 роки тому +5

      Eula Speaks hey did you get over that person? I’m going through what you were. thank you!

    • @divaboo2412
      @divaboo2412 3 роки тому +3

      @@dr3amzKILLER hey I been thinking bout mines for 2 years I’m getting frustrated

    • @user-pi5zx7nv7g
      @user-pi5zx7nv7g 2 роки тому

      @@divaboo2412 oh no :/

  • @sigfigronath
    @sigfigronath 2 роки тому +4

    That's such a good point, we used to crush or like someone a while back like in highschool, but now it feels like it was a waste of time and totally not worth it.

  • @matthewswanson6380
    @matthewswanson6380 7 років тому +14

    Its hard, even at a young age I had a fantasy of being with a older woman. I thought it was just that, a fantasy. But then when it finally happened, it was everything I hoped for and more. She was able to guide me the way I wanted, and I was able to please her the way she wanted. Just seemed so natural.

    • @SusanWinter
      @SusanWinter  7 років тому +10

      I know it's difficult, Matthew. I suggest using that wonderful experience as a prototype. You've already attained that level of connection- one that most people will never experience. Rather than looking at it as a 'one off,' see it as 'your norm.' That mental attitude takes away the pain, and sets you up to attract another rich and meaningful relationship.

  • @Ugaritic
    @Ugaritic Рік тому +2

    Thank you so much, I need to get him outside my head as soon as I can, since I'm such an introvert who doesn't have the balls to even talk to him, this is taking a toll on me, it's frustrating but I don't wanna waste time conjuring up imaginary scenarios in my mind that I know are very unlikely to happen.

  • @squid2754
    @squid2754 3 роки тому +3

    i had a gf and then we broke up but every time i see her at school she’s always so effortlessly charismatic to ppl and so talented and skilled and gets good grades and every time i see her doing smth better than me it hurts like heck bc idk what to do. i just feel so threatened. and she’s also so cute and nice to everyone it’s hard to hate her no matter how hard i try. i guess she’s just a rly good person albeit she’s kind of a player when it comes to her love life. sigh.
    someone please share their thoughts on this

  • @osummerx
    @osummerx Рік тому +1

    OH MY GOD….. SUSAN… you have no idea how many times I’m gonna replay this video a day, I love you and your help and your words THANKS 🎉

  • @homeworldmusic
    @homeworldmusic 5 років тому +4

    The fundamental point you are making is, nobody really matters: you can move on from and forget anyone and everyone.

  • @PennyJackson123
    @PennyJackson123 5 років тому +12

    I finally managed to end the relationship, it was a brutal ending but I came to the realization that he never was a sociopath he was a toxic narcissist, low functioning one as well. I never thought a narcissist could have low self esteem but after reading a lot about it I came to the conclusion that a collapsed one is what he was.
    The day after the break up I felt so free, so happy. And I’m going on a date next week. I invited 8 girl friends to evening snacks at my house, I’ve activated my Facebook account again. I just feel free.
    Thank you Susan for helping me getting to the point where I understood my rights in a relationship. We need to put our best interest at first, and if we are being abused mentally and emotionally, leaving the relationship is absolutely what we need to do

  • @LeoTommyGun
    @LeoTommyGun 7 років тому +58

    You always have wise answers Susan. I gone through obsession myself recently also and this video certainly cleared my thoughts. It's interesting, how we can see a stranger that we might even not have anything in common with as a perfect partner. Thank you for your wonderful vlogs Susan, every man that had a chance to be your partner must be a really lucky guy.

    • @SusanWinter
      @SusanWinter  7 років тому +4

      Oh my goodness-you are so kind. I'm really grateful that you are able to apply these videos to your dating life, and that you're feeling internal confidence! Yay!

  • @lecer1187
    @lecer1187 6 років тому +11

    My God you are such an angel to me Susan.. I didnt realize Id be very delighted with your advice. So calm and straight to my heart. I am experiencing a terrible rejection from my ex, and thru you, all the pain, being obsessed with him and frustations are slowly diminishing.. thank you for being there.

  • @jasonrollins4485
    @jasonrollins4485 6 років тому +19

    This has been hardest thing to do for myself for 4 yrs but your videos are only advices that's made sense to me and I've heard everything thx so much

    • @SusanWinter
      @SusanWinter  6 років тому +1

      HI Jason. Great to read your note! Glad to know you're mastering this issue. I wish you continued success!!

  • @thanhthuyphan
    @thanhthuyphan 5 років тому +3

    Got a lady crush on you, Susan! Confident, strong, calm, wise, elegant, good mindset not about dating only, but about life. I'd liked to be in this state of mind like yours one day : ). Best Regards from Germany

  • @introvertplays6162
    @introvertplays6162 3 роки тому +3

    I have been obsessing with a celebrity for about 2 weeks now and today became aware of it. The weirdest part: I am obsessed with a version of this celebrity from about 20-11 years ago. At the time I was too young to watch the series and movies of this person (a lot of action movies and series...my parents weren't having me watching TV late in school weeks) and about two weeks ago I watched an interview with this person and remembered a series that I horribly wanted to see back when I was not allowed to watch it. So I binge watched it, which also gave me a bad case of nostalgia on top of it, of the good old days. After that I went through the whole body of work of this person...every show, movie, interview, etc. and I can't get enough. It is horrible...when I close my eyes to sleep I see that celebrity as the version from 20-10 years ago (certain appearance, which the person obviously today no longer has) and I want to be close to that person. It makes no sense...I was 10 years old at that time. It takes me hours to actually sleep and I even tried audio books to not hear my thoughts. I did not work. And the crux of it all: I am even mad at the fact that this celebrity is no longer like that. Basically mad with a historical version of this person...it makes no sense.

  • @Headspace101
    @Headspace101 3 роки тому +2

    Just what I needed. I'm old enough to know better but I have a celeb obsession with Tom Hiddleston (who i previously thought to be unattractive and definitely not the type I usually go for), but it is taking over my life. I know all there is to know about him, at least what is out there in media land. I know it's not real, I know it will pass (God I hope so). I have been here before, many times. I wanted to watch the series Sherlock, however, I am too scared. I do not fancy Benedict Cumberbatch even slightly, I don't get all the fuss over him. But after reading about him (a dangerous game I play when I am trying to get my obsession away from one person and reason in my mind that there are unattractive celebs out there with huge followings. So it somehow proves to me that mine isn't real) I find many, many women, who previously thought him to be ugly, fell for him after watching that series. In my state of mind I just don't trust myself. Tom Hiddleston thing happened after seeing him dance on a TV show and the look he had in his eyes just before he started...honestly! I have watched countless films with him in, and didn't even notice him and I recently finished watching Disney's Loki. Nothing, not even a spark of attraction to him, I just found him unattractive, yet here I am. I do have an obsessive personality to some extent. But this has knocked me for six as I really thought it would never happen to me again, not at my age. This is a really good video, thanks.

  • @pebbie
    @pebbie 2 роки тому +3

    This video is exactly what I need right now, I hope I can finally put an end to this.

  • @angelsarah79
    @angelsarah79 6 років тому +2

    Wonderful advice. I have an obsession over a famous narcissistic musician and can’t stop paying attention to his social media. It’s highly addictive and I’m spending too much time on all the social media he’s involved with. But it’s hard to stop because the social media / internet also causes Dopamine. So like his other fans, we can’t get enough of it.

  • @ivydune4185
    @ivydune4185 3 роки тому +2

    It's not that I want him back, I'm feeling angry now because he moved on with someone I don't even like and it annoys me to see him doing with her exactly what we did together. And I work with him. I have to be nice, friendly and pretend we never happened, because he doesn't talk about it. I thought I had moved on already, I was fine. I guess I didn't...

  • @madlybs
    @madlybs 4 роки тому +8

    Extremely helpful. I recommend listening to this when you’re most receptive. Thank you

  • @SivaKumar-pf3ze
    @SivaKumar-pf3ze 5 років тому +7

    I understand breaking the loop. I met her in a Jackson Browne concert. We saw concerts Springsteen, Stevie Nicks etc after that . After my break up, I don't go for these concerts anymore. Threw my CDs, threw my posters, destroy my drawingsof her. I went into suicidal exile. But each time I hear a Browne, Springsteen or Nicks on a radio in a cafe somewhere in South America etc, she comes back to my mind and breaks me apart.. What sort I do.

    • @MelModica
      @MelModica 9 місяців тому

      I had a similar experience with someone I met long distance 15 years ago, we liked a lot of the same music and he still try’s to reach out to me atleast once or so every year and I can’t really listen to certain songs anymore because the past year him and I had been talking but we just can’t be together because of distance and our work schedule. I’m finally starting to get over the obsession. If he reaches out to me again I have to friend zone him because we live so far away and I cant keep thinking and pretend we will be together when we’ve tried for 15 years and it never happens.

  • @raegan-b6r
    @raegan-b6r 3 роки тому +4

    Im literally obsessed with a anime show..... I cannot stop thinking about it its all i think about and talk about even im annoyed....💀✌️

  • @deechambers6639
    @deechambers6639 6 років тому +5

    Your AMAZING .I just hope that YOU found someone that appreciates everything you are ❤

  • @Blessed8929
    @Blessed8929 7 років тому +37

    I use to believe that when you are thinking of someone, they may be thinking of you I'm starting not to believe this one, I have dreams about him not perverted or anything like that, but I wonder why have I created this. I believe this will help me break this. It's not productive at all.

    • @2legit2Kwit
      @2legit2Kwit 7 років тому +2

      Beautifully Made it's your subconscious mind drawing closure.

    • @SusanWinter
      @SusanWinter  7 років тому +34

      Hi Beautifully Made. This is a more detailed discussion. It's true that the energy of our thought has resonant power and can be felt by others. People who understand this line of thinking can easily become hooked in the loop of obsession. Bottom line - it's not good for you. You keep the energy alive but they are not moving in correspondence. It becomes harmful to you. People think of us when we think of them-true. But people who've treated us badly in love only start to think of us when we have truly gone.

    • @LadyofCleves65
      @LadyofCleves65 6 років тому +9

      Oh that is awesome what Susan said about people who treated us badly in love only start to think of us when we have truly gone. Its like karma.

    • @grandeurglory7777
      @grandeurglory7777 5 років тому

      I love your username, it's so beautifully created!

    • @STEJTHEGREATEST
      @STEJTHEGREATEST 5 років тому

      Since when have you women ever been productive?????? Making yourself up for hours in front of mirrors doesn't exactly make the world go round, nor does gossiping with your immature little girl friends.

  • @Stephen_Jabs
    @Stephen_Jabs 2 роки тому +1

    Discipline your mind and move to another direction, I will remember this, I have an obssesion on my crush and now I know how to get rid of her thank you

  • @ogunsadebenjaminadeiyin2729
    @ogunsadebenjaminadeiyin2729 3 роки тому +5

    Very very helpful content, I have been listening to you all day after recently been friend-zoned. I can laugh over it now because in few years down the line, as you've said, and by reality, I'll forget it all. Thanks a million times.

  • @datguy6745
    @datguy6745 3 роки тому +5

    When you talked about the hope of thoughts aimed at connecting energies, thats so accurate its actially scary.
    Made me immedietly have faith in everything that followed.
    I truly believe this person was the one and i messed up.. it hurts like shit and makes me want to break objects thinking about my mistakes and i want to make them undone, but before watching this, ive been in the loop for 3 years and decided I'd have to stop.
    I hate it, i really do and i dont want to lose this person i only have a crush on, but ill focus on video-editing and animations now and redirect my thought in that direction.
    MUCH thanks for sharing!

    • @kiks399
      @kiks399 2 роки тому

      How are holding up? 🤗🤗🤗

  • @zaink7037
    @zaink7037 4 роки тому +11

    My crush got married and I'm heartbroken though I feel I'm getting better after finding out most things about her aren't good plus think I'm better off without her. Its just I keep thinking about her. I just try to think about all the bad things I've been told about her and that she'd just be a financial burden for me.

    • @zaink7037
      @zaink7037 2 роки тому +1

      @Sadia Sharmeen I'm thankfully better now. Hope I didn't come across negative in my original post as I was really deep in pain then ☹️. I'm happy for her. Just weirdly, don't know if it's a sign from God that after I found out she got married I found out her true colours. Like God is showing me she was never the one.

  • @spartaaca6041
    @spartaaca6041 5 років тому +2

    This one help me alot and rest of your videos i know you probably not gonna see this comment but you helping alot of people you are realy awesome i wish i could thank you on some way,you are good person❤

  • @Fruit_bee
    @Fruit_bee 3 роки тому +2

    The most helpful video, I've been doing that before as you said I was shifting to cardio training when I had obsessive thoughts about a person ,so I will do it again
    But the acknowledgement is a bigger step here for me because it this case with this person it's much harder to accept that they are not interested Especially when they give you little hope

  • @lovelyA933
    @lovelyA933 4 роки тому +4

    Thank you this was very helpful. I tend to become obssesed with things and people very easily to the point were I spend months in that constant loop. Your advice was very helpful! Recognizing we get into loops is a big step towards getting out.

  • @Kayo.kale1
    @Kayo.kale1 2 роки тому +2

    I really needed this it actually hurts me to think about someone else while in a relationship I met her two years ago and forgot about her until me and my gf got on really bad terms and almost broke up that’s how I thought about her and have this obsession over her

  • @miked2662
    @miked2662 5 років тому +3

    Susan, I just want you to know, you are an awesome human being. These videos are really helping me move onward and upward and to know my self worth.

  • @chocbowtie
    @chocbowtie 2 роки тому +1

    Thank you so much. For me, my obsessive cycle starts with a question about a person (not necessarily someone I know, could even be a celebrity) and I answer that question but then I feel as if Im not satisfied with the answer so I keep repeating the same thoughts over and over in my mind until I realize a lot of time has passed. Thank you for this video I really needed it.

  • @fn5905
    @fn5905 5 років тому +14

    Won’t that be suppression of the emotions and repression of unresolved feelings

  • @Dataisthetruth
    @Dataisthetruth 4 роки тому +2

    I can’t get this girl out of my head. I still feel a connection with her, but I know I can’t continue like this. I have not spoken to her in almost two years. I still feel the same way about her. I know it’s unhealthy. I can’t do it anymore......

  • @cherylcuttineau7916
    @cherylcuttineau7916 5 років тому +2

    Beautiful Lake Como!
    Your comments fly in the face of all the LOA new age sewage on YT. Unfortunately I allowed myself to get sucked in out of hoping it would restore my relationship. At least I only lost 3 months instead of years!

    • @VenusVoice
      @VenusVoice 4 роки тому

      I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels that way about LOA

  • @PennyJackson123
    @PennyJackson123 5 років тому +2

    I was very much neglected as a child (emotional neglect) and I have borderline. So this is why the core fear of rejection and abandonment has made me end up in an obsessive mindset with trying to make my sociopathic bf reassure me that he loves me and won’t abandon me. Which is literally never going to happen. And tbh we are very open about this, he knows this very well and sees this as a weakness in me. and I believe that he, to some extent uses the hot and cold behavior intentionally to hurt me.
    But the twist is. He doesn’t trust people, he is the first pathological liar I’ve ever came across who lies about things that doesn’t even matter, like.. if he knows how untrustworthy he is himself, I understand why he finds it hard to trust my intentions
    Well, enough about this. Conclusion. I’m in a very toxic relationship and it has to end
    These videos are really building me up, strength wise.

    • @mochiisyum123
      @mochiisyum123 5 років тому

      Would you mind if I wanted to ask about your experience with BPD? My ex is and the breakup was kind of unexpected at that moment and having an inside perspective I feel like would put me in a mindset of some understanding.

    • @PennyJackson123
      @PennyJackson123 5 років тому

      mochiisyum123 I recommend that you get an account on Quora. There’s a lot of people writing about bpd on there and some are very great. You can ask questions and people with bpd will answer.

  • @ShantiForever
    @ShantiForever 7 років тому +12

    this is right on time for me. Thank you! 💖

    • @SusanWinter
      @SusanWinter  7 років тому +1

      I am Shanti excellent. Happy to learn if this.

  • @jadebeltran1932
    @jadebeltran1932 5 років тому +7

    I love you susan. Thanks so much for this. ❤

  • @shirleymadiva6886
    @shirleymadiva6886 5 років тому +16

    How do you get out of the loop of being divorced after 33yrs?? And children? You have to have low contact with them? Total 43yrs! HOW??🤔 When you hurt so bad??

    • @adoringgalore5636
      @adoringgalore5636 3 роки тому

      You may need a life coaching or therapy session .

    • @shirleymadiva6886
      @shirleymadiva6886 3 роки тому +1

      @@adoringgalore5636 l eventually did some therapy and still on meds for anxiety!

    • @adoringgalore5636
      @adoringgalore5636 3 роки тому +3

      @@shirleymadiva6886 I hope it helped lovr!

    • @shirleymadiva6886
      @shirleymadiva6886 3 роки тому +3

      @@adoringgalore5636 So much better today!! Thank God!! Free!! At peace!!❤️

  • @biancaalexandratoma702
    @biancaalexandratoma702 2 роки тому

    Just trying to stop stalking my bf for real. I m ready to break the loop of obsession.he s a good person.thank you!

  • @PlanetWomble
    @PlanetWomble 2 роки тому

    Brain Lock is worth reading but Susan is brilliant

  • @penlavits3305
    @penlavits3305 4 роки тому +1

    Thank you, You just saved me from my obsession which i had no idea i had which was stopping me from moving forward with what i have to do

  • @SAMEntalhealth
    @SAMEntalhealth 3 роки тому +1

    This helps my drug addiction

  • @JarvisBeats
    @JarvisBeats 2 роки тому +1

    Best advice I’ve heard in a long time Thankyou 🤗

  • @pipifoo1604
    @pipifoo1604 3 роки тому +2

    Find the part/characteristic/quality in that person that attracts you to them the most and now ask yourself if you already have that quality/skill, etc. If not, ask yourself why and integrate it. You’re welcome.

  • @marianoviking
    @marianoviking 5 років тому +2

    You woman are a genious,thank u very much for share your wisdom!

  • @malungayesemusic
    @malungayesemusic 11 місяців тому

    This is so useful, you always come to the rescue. Thank you ❤

  • @Tubie1111
    @Tubie1111 3 роки тому +4

    I was fine until I had two strong dreams about the person within months of each other. I was ok after the first one but the second dream hit me like a ton of bricks out of nowhere 😫😵

  • @ejeffe
    @ejeffe 6 років тому +5

    I watch all your videos, you really really help me.... thank you so much...

  • @karlashmeedavlasta6365
    @karlashmeedavlasta6365 5 років тому +6

    I get off by looking real close to my hands. And watch what they are doing. Cant watch them consciously and think about my ex the same time. Its easy, its kinda handy, too....

  • @tuttifruti2097
    @tuttifruti2097 Рік тому

    You're so amazing . Your energy is beautiful.

  • @TakomaChris
    @TakomaChris 2 роки тому

    This is a place I’ve been stuck in for two weeks now! Thank you for this

  • @dominiccobb6470
    @dominiccobb6470 6 років тому +2

    i am very obsessed recently and its so weird. i feel like i am loosing the person i am dating for a few month now. but actually i dont think i am loosing him. hes just not as invested anymore. he works a lot and has not much time. but when we spend time together its amazing.
    I guess i just want more

    • @janetaudu4933
      @janetaudu4933 4 роки тому

      Hey, how are you doing. How is your relationship going?

    • @dominiccobb6470
      @dominiccobb6470 4 роки тому +1

      @@janetaudu4933 after I wrote this, he told me he just wanted to be friends so I blocked him and started working on my mental state :D ten months later I met an even nicer guy and the same thing happened. After 5 months of amazing and intense dating he told me he only wanted to be friends... and now I try to not care anymore and I work all day lmao
      Thanks for asking though :) Have a nice day, greetings from Germany

  • @chriseleuterius
    @chriseleuterius 7 років тому +2

    This is precisely what I am going through. I needed this video! Thank you Susan!

    • @SusanWinter
      @SusanWinter  7 років тому

      Hi Big C. I'd love when I read a comment like yours! So happy the timing for this videowas perfect.

  • @simakavand1695
    @simakavand1695 3 роки тому +1

    This woman is awesome

  • @adu1991
    @adu1991 6 років тому +2

    Thank you for making this video.
    My "obsession" really isn't with someone who I know in real life....it's about 2 celebrities who I'm a fan of....
    It'll be hard, but I will try to not look at their Twitter feed, facebook pages, UA-cam videos, & any other TV shows that they're in as much. I'll do that while I redirect my energy towards other important things that I've been putting off.
    I needed to hear this, & I appreciate the advice.

  • @sarastarski
    @sarastarski 5 років тому +3

    I needed this today Susan, thank you!
    You are a gem, a beautiful woman inside and out and very smart and kind! Thank you for your videos!

  • @eeman_ali
    @eeman_ali 7 місяців тому

    One of the best advice I ever got in life

  • @gabrielavilla7308
    @gabrielavilla7308 6 років тому +1

    I love you Susan, your videos have helped me so much, you're so logical and convey your messages so genuinely, you really get it, it feels like I'm not in it alone.

  • @MadDogxbg
    @MadDogxbg 9 місяців тому

    This is what I'm going through right now. IM inlove with my best friend iv known for years I finally opened my feelings up to her big mistake on my part she doesn't feel the same and my feelings have grown out of control all I do is think about her and can't stop I'm trying to get control of this to save our friendship I'm hurting so bad. I'm stuck but I'm trying as hard as I can thanks for the video

  • @littlemiss8867
    @littlemiss8867 6 років тому +1

    I love the Lake view it is absolutely stunning!!

  • @sfitz-rp4du
    @sfitz-rp4du Рік тому

    Thank you for your advice on getting thru a rough period to move forward.

  • @noserialkiller3596
    @noserialkiller3596 Рік тому

    Thank you for your advice, it's helpful! No Serial Killer.

  • @madeinhisimage3447
    @madeinhisimage3447 5 років тому +1

    This clip was done on my Bday! Where are you Susan?! I need to go like next week Lol

  • @earthangel7141
    @earthangel7141 5 років тому

    You’re very wise Susan and have helped me in the ways of the world. 🙏 Thank you

  • @julietroberts1385
    @julietroberts1385 6 місяців тому

    Thank you very much indeed. Your advice is always so mature, wise, sensible and you have a very nice personality.

  • @v0368
    @v0368 5 років тому +1

    I've been obsessing over this one guy, but I realized a couple months ago that I've been obsessing, I tried to ignore, so recently I blocked him on all social media, and thanks to my teacher she moved him to the back so I never have to look at him, it definitely broke the loop :)

  • @tahaseenmajeed7089
    @tahaseenmajeed7089 5 років тому

    Hey susan maam you are doing a great job you actually script all the things which seemed mysterious

  • @martifrey3357
    @martifrey3357 7 років тому +20

    It's much easier for women to break obsession than for men. Most women make the mistake to sleep with a guy knowing he is already committed or just looking for fun and then they're getting hooked. However women get approached often, they meet new guys, have sex all the time and fall in love again. For men it's even tougher, because we have crushes on women, we have never been intimate with. It's been 1,5 years that I haven't seen my crush but I can't get over her, it's killing me, it gets worse and worse each day, I feel like shit. I don't meet too many women, because they have options so you stay stuck on a girl that either played you for a fool or just ghosted you because you did something wrong. No sports, hobbies or anything else have made me become distracted from her. I am caught between love and hate when I think about her. Usually it takes me just 2-3 months at best to get over someone but it's been more than 1,5 years, without any contact and I am losing my mind..

    • @SusanWinter
      @SusanWinter  7 років тому +15

      Marti Frey I suggest you do a proper break up. Process this situation by journaling, and allow yourself to mentally disconnect (in knowing it's over). You are only hanging on because there's no one else around. But no one else can enter your life as long as you're obsessed . Eliminate The obsession first--- new doors should begin to open for you.

    • @martifrey3357
      @martifrey3357 7 років тому +6

      What do you mean by proper break up? The problem is our damn families are tied, so I will always know what she is up to. And we partly share the same friends and some of our family members are tied as well

    • @SusanWinter
      @SusanWinter  7 років тому +4

      Yes, especially so. Mentally going through the paces of proper breakup will minimize your discomfort at family eventst. This process of mentally separating this person from romance is needed for you to feel at peace in all these functions.

    • @martifrey3357
      @martifrey3357 7 років тому +1

      But it doesn't happen. I don't know how to do it, I do go out and stuff but it doesn't work. I feel like shit

    • @martifrey3357
      @martifrey3357 7 років тому +6

      I know, it's disgusting. I don't trust them either anymore. I can't afford waiting until a woman gets in her 40s just because all of the sudden she realizes what she was really looking for. This world is so fucked up

  • @joehay4455
    @joehay4455 3 роки тому

    Very helpfull, thank you, and what a fabulous view, the background isn't bad either! Thank you Susan x

  • @jeanne-annstott283
    @jeanne-annstott283 6 років тому +1

    Another excellent one - very very useful to me right now. Thank you!

    • @SusanWinter
      @SusanWinter  6 років тому

      Thabnks Jeanne-Ann. I appreciate your comments!!

  • @Sasad99art
    @Sasad99art 2 роки тому

    Thank you so much for this. Honestly a major help. Fantastic video. Couldn't relate more

  • @ipekkomurcu
    @ipekkomurcu 4 роки тому

    You are soooo amazing and smart on your thoughts. Short, understandable, insightful and more. It's really helpful and I'm really greateful. Thank you so much

  • @bbkui
    @bbkui 6 років тому +6

    3 years in the loop :(

  • @zoelaetitiabeatrix6656
    @zoelaetitiabeatrix6656 3 роки тому +2

    I just can't get him out of my head. Help please.

  • @ram201pa
    @ram201pa 6 років тому

    Spot-on, Susan. Thank you very much.

  • @rachellekeldani7047
    @rachellekeldani7047 4 роки тому +2

    i m obsesed with a man and i suffer al the timee but i can get out

  • @topps9647
    @topps9647 2 місяці тому

    Very helpful to me at this moment in time. Thank you susan x

  • @shefathkhandkertethi861
    @shefathkhandkertethi861 3 роки тому

    U speak really really well.

  • @smileyliciousme
    @smileyliciousme 3 роки тому +1

    thank you, i needed this.

  • @MsFrancescaF
    @MsFrancescaF 4 роки тому

    Typical Italian light. 😊 Uhuh, this is nearly my home! I grew up and I live near Como 😍 If I ever get to meet you in Italy, it’ll be an awesome surprise. 🌸 Btw, very useful video, thanks!

  • @marianajunqueira9432
    @marianajunqueira9432 5 років тому

    thank you!!! you are an amazing person, wish the best for you!! thank you so muuuuch