A Candid Parenting Q&A (Mum Of Two!) ☕️
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- Опубліковано 6 сер 2024
- A very chatty parenting q&a. Brutally honest, as always! PLEASE HIT LIKE if you enjoy videos on this topic, as I tend to allow engagement to guide my list of video ideas! xx
TIMESTAMPS!
00:00 - 03:27 intro
03:27 - 06:11 Was I always SURE I wanted children?
06:11 - 07:59 Fitting in stuff BEFORE kids (travel etc)
07:59 - 13:23 the 'hardest' parts & the GOOD PARTS ahh
13:23 - 22:02 why modern parenting is hard & loneliness
22:02 - 24:58 mom rage & mental health impacting parenting
24:58 - 28:06 change in identity & feeling more like 'myself'
28:06 - 29:33 carving out me time
29:33 - 30:49 the reality is a sh*tshow
30:49 - 32:41 the second has been easier & gushing about my girl
32:41 - 34:10 fave / hardest thing about having two...
34:10 - 38:31 grief for old life / which life I prefer?
38:31 - 39:59 what am I most excited about?
39:59 - 44:21 SLEEP UPDATE, sleep hacks etc
44:21 - 45:42 will I raise my son and daughter differently?
45:42 - 46:06 most difficult stage so far?
46:06 - 48:00 messing up / what would I do differently?
48:00 - 51:10 How do I deal with the 'feminist' side of being in a traditional role...
51:10 - 55:39 Has motherhood changed my view on how my parents raised me?
55:39 - 56:35 Today's ~weird video ending~
GOING TO UPDATE WITH PRODUCTS IN THE MORNING, the upload took a super long time and now we need to fly off to do food shopping hahahaha how ironic considering a lot of what was talked about in the video...if you're reading this, please accept this virtual hug from moi xxxxx
► Follow me on INSTAGRAM where I keep up to date with you guys much more often/post reels! melaniiemurphy...
This video is not sponsored!
As someone who has known forever that I do not want kids and recently got married and had a hysterectomy at 28, I still enjoy the mommy content. I have never wanted to be pregnant and I've always known I'm not meant to be a mother, but I do know my role in this lifetime is to support the mothers around me.
Absolutely love this comment and mindset. And we moms can support our child free sisters right back! ❤️❤️
Melanie as an arab-irish supporter of urs for many years, thank u sm for mentioning gaza and keeping them in ur thoughts🙏🙏 bless those families and bless urs too💖
As a 24 year old woman looking forward SO much to this phase of life, I can't express how much I love your videos Mel. You make me feel hopeful for the future.
EEPPPPPPP!!! This makes me so happy! xxx
I'm 30 and still not sure if I want kids (leaning towards no usually) and I still find these videos very interesting and eye-opening. I don't think there's enough of this content around.
I think it’s important for people to hear what we all mean by hard. In my mind, the way I think about things that are “hard”- I never viewed parenting as hard. I knew what I was signing up for as a woman who started a family later in life. But when you say it like this- no breaks- absolutely. I get why people say it’s hard. Like when we all got norovirus- I couldn’t just lay there like I really, deeply, viscerally needed to. I had to clean up vomit between my own vomiting sessions and Oh. My. God. And no one is coming to rescue you when there’s a stomach bug festering in your home. You are now on a deserted island, you’re on your own. Being a parent is *exhausting*. But nothing has ever energized me more. ❤
Omg this. It's the worst, being extremely ill but still having to be the responsible one! I caught rotavirus while pregnant and ended up in hospital on a drip and felt like I was dying from dehydration from the constant vomiting, but all I could think about was my son...I couldn't go near any other family incase I passed it on and man surviving that week was hell! When there's illness in the house I go into survival mode for sure. And yet there's so many beautiful moments of cuddles. It's the most love I've ever felt in my life (love from my kids, love for my kids, love of my husband when I see him loving them) xxx
As someone who is starting to think about and plan for having kids, hearing someone say that it’s mostly amazing is such a huge comfort 😅 I work with children in an environment where they’re often hyperstimulated and excitable, and I often panic that I won’t have the stamina to keep up with my own children and meet all of their needs, but to hear you talk about how wonderful your children are gives me hope, so thank you Melanie 💚
I was in the EXACT same situation as you and felt the EXACT the same way, and I can say that having a kid is the most amazing blessing! Melanie was SPOT on with describing it. 😊
Any time I step into an environment where there are children PLURAL and they are NOT MY OWN I genuinely want to climb into a hole lol! I promise that having your own doesn't feel that way though...it's so much more calm when there's only one or two but also, because they're literally made of you, you don't perceive them in the same way you do other people's kids. Other people's kids can annoy me so easily haha and I feel like I have to like, fake smile at them, it's so bad...I'm just NOT one of those amazing-with-kids types, at all! But I feel like I'm so good with my own kids and they can touch my mouth with filthy hands and I just laugh it off it's SO WEIRD xxx
@@melaniemurphyofficial I was always that person that when my friends or family would ask
If I wanted to hold their babies, I would say, “oh I’m okay, thank you”. Needless to say it would get very awkward. 😂
To the people who are worried about messing up as parents: I listen to this psychology podcast (Psychology in Seattle, highly recommend) and the host always says: "If you are a perfect parent, you will only cause your child to need five years of therapy. If your child is an adult and they only need therapy for five years, you have done a FANTASTIC job as a parent." Basically, you will mess up, you won't be able to shield them from everything awful, some of it will be out of your control. The best you can do is apologise to your child if you feel you've messed up (never too late for that, by the way), and to help them process difficult feelings and things.
I haven't got children yet, but with many different neurodivergencies and mental health issues in my and my partners family history, I used to wonder whether I should even have children at all, because the chances of them suffering are so high, even though it has always been my deepest wish to be a parent.
This insight from this therapist has really helped me and took away my doubts about having children. Previously I felt the only way I could justify having children with my and my partners family history was if I was absolutely perfect as a parent and if I can't be, I shouldn't bring them into the world.
The child of the most perfect parent will only need 5 years of therapy.
I hope this helps anyone else. We'll do fine, you're doing fine.
Adore this comment omg x
So glad you mentioned Gaza. My baby girls were in a NICU at the same time as what was happening in the NICUs there and I have a 2.5 year old as well. Hearing some of what's happening there is hitting so hard.
💔 absolutely devastating situation. Did you have twin girls!? 🥹❤️
@@melaniemurphyofficial yes! Identical girls! 💕
This video is keeping me company while I fold laundry at 3am while looking after my new baby girls 😂
To the people in the comments worrying about having kids; Like she says, it's hard but so much fun. And the "terrible twos" are also the most charming and life affirming phase ❤
My son is 3 and my daughter just turned 1 this November. I completely relate to you saying that you feel anxious leaving them; it seriously gives me so much anxiety. I also don't post my kids online, and I have pretty much gotten rid of social media (except UA-cam), because I found social media made my motherhood miserable. The constant onslaught of opposing opinions, "momfluencers" with very unrealistic advice, and just information overload, madee feel like no matter what choice I made, it was the wrong choice. Your content is lovely. You have always been a breath of fresh air for me, even before kids. Thank you for keeping your channel authentic to the stage you are in. Sending you so much love ❤
I do not plan to have kids. I’ve never wanted them and still logically don’t. However, I’m 26 and I’m having some hormonal issues and it’s made me DESPERATELY BROODY. I’m SO excited for my friends to have babies. I watch your videos to be able to support my loved ones who want kids. I am ready to be fun auntie I was born to be. We plan on doing a friend/family farm in the future and I want to have a bunk room for the kids to rest during parties or stay over, for their parents to have a break but have their kids with trusted people and within walking distance or a quick drive. Im just not someone who would be able to cope with kids constantly but I can do it for short times and for the people I love.
THE WORLD NEEDS FUN CHILD-FREE AUNTIES!!!
I am 22, a student, don't have kids, but this video still really spoke to me and I just know I will think back to it when I do eventually embark on (if I'm lucky enough) motherhood. Thanks mel x
I told my dad that I didn’t want to quit my job when I gave birth. And he was like you’ll want to. All you have ever talked about was being a mother. And it made me emotional, because I truly didn’t want that. I wanted both.
But you can’t have it all at once.
And sure enough I didn’t want to give my baby to childcare so I left work. And now I feel horrible for those who feel they can’t do the same. No shame in taking care of my child whatsoever now. It took over a year but I’m just grateful now.
Your talk of night feeds is giving me anxiety lol I am due with #2 in May and I’m so not looking forward to that. I had to nip that for mental health after 12 months. Went so smoothly that I wish I had stopped a few months earlier.
I feel so hard for people who realise 'actually I don't want to work right now I literally just want to be with my baby' and they have no other option because the world has become so expensive to live in and often two salaries are needed to run a home/bring up kids and it's just such a mess :( So many women are figuring out ways of earning a living from home so they can be SAHMs thanks to the internet which is wonderful but not everyone has the time or the motivation to look into various income stream options/side hustles that could replace their full time jobs...and there's of course so much risk, so often there's privilege involved. I just wish there was proper government support for the first while after a child is born for women to take real career breaks without suffering financially. After all, raising the next generation IS WORK - if it wasn't work, a woman wouldn't need to pay a stranger to do it for her so she can go do some other job only to spend MOST of her wages on fucking childcare
This is part of what scares me of having children. I don't have them and I'm not sure if I want them. I know myself enough that I need my job to feel fulfilled in life, but the unequal burden of society placed on mothers makes that so hard. From missed out promotions and salary cuts bc of needing to work even just a day less, only 3 month of maternity leave and 2 weeks of paternal leave (in my country) and having to be physically healed and mentally ready to get back to work in that little time, to how insanely expersive childcare is. And not even speaking on the mental load and unequal division of domestic labor that often happens in hetero relarionships. How the heck do you combine that with a carreer?!? The division of labor of raising kids was very unequally divided among my parents and my mother did 95%. I know I don't want that and will resent having kids if that would be the case. By partner (male) is very emancipated and not at all like my own father and would want to equally divided the labor, but I am still afraid to fall into that 'trap' because of how society makes it so hard for women to work and have children....
I haven’t kids yet but one thing I can absolutely support is SAHM/ wifes being paid salaries for the labour as the hardworking moms they are!!!
It’s been said the purpose of feminism in the USA 60s was to 1. break up the nuclear family 2. Gov being able to get more taxes from taxing working women, thus creating a society where women are almost forced to work, in order to keep up with inflation.
I have to say this doesn’t sound too crazy anymore, don’t get me wrong I’m glad women have the choice to work, but if these weren’t the goals of feminism, then why not make being SAHM a viable option for women?? Why don’t they have make any incentive for women to stay home if they so wish to. Rather than at work, they’d still be financially rewarded and able to stay home doing it!
It mightn’t solve the entire issue of inflation as they’d still be taxed for their hours but at least they’d be able to get a mortgage while staying Joe if they wish to! And children will get their own mother/parent at home with them full time!
It looks like there is an intentional push for the opposite to happen tbh!!
Melanie, this was truly cathartic and most certaintly the most helpful childhood / motherhood video ive ever seen. Thank you for showing up and being raw and vulnerable. Hope you had a blast on your night out! Love to you ❤❤❤
Damn. Comments like this are exactly why I make this kind of content! Honestly, thank you...you'll never know how unbelievably encouraging it is to read messages like this, even if others have said the same thing before, EVERY single time someone takes time out of their day to share such words I get teary eyed.
I haven't even finished the video yet but YES YES to this whole video. The way I feel about my kiddos is just OVERWHELMING 😂 I actually never thought I'd love anything so hard, but I totally relate to connecting with others on the struggling side of motherhood. Thank you for your refreshing honesty ❤
Great video! It’s giving me some insight into the early days of parenting that might be in store if I have kids! It was moving to hear about your understanding of and compassion for your parents now that you have your own young family. And how you were talking about how people feel so lonely and parent in a big empty house by themselves very often these days. I remember my mother often felt lonely and unsupported so it is a very real phenomenon. I’m so glad you have a couple of relatives you can reach out to when you feel you need Mummy-Must-Have-Time, and I hope your siblings get to see more of your children as they grow- or at least really value the quality time they do share!
I really enjoy these videos. As someone who has no plans to have any children of her own, it’s great insight and constant reminder of what and where the loved ones in my life who are parents are going through. What I’m not seeing, what’s going through their minds on a daily basis that there isn’t a chance to have conversations about for one reason or the other.
loved it so much! thank you for being this honest and letting us in on your great realizations and small moments
I love your mommy content. I’ve been watching ya since before you and Thomas got together 💚
My daughter is 11 and my son is 4 (fertility issues) anywho watching my daughter grow up into the lovely person she is is the most amazing thing in the world. I can’t wait for her to be an adult and go on trips with her or just sit around and have a chat with some coffee.
I agree that the best way to know if you’re doing the parenting thing right is if your kids still want to be around you when they’re older and have the choice. Like you I also think about what I felt I was missing or needed when I was a kid and try to make sure I fill those for her, but I have learned over the years that as a parent we have ideas of how we are going to raise our kids, but they are little humans who have thoughts and ideas all their own. The hardest lesson I’ve learned was to parent her the way she needs me to be not my way.
I loved this video. It’s like you spoke what I think on a daily basis about having two gorgeous kiddos!
As a young mum I don’t grieve the life I had but I do envy seeing couples my age getting to be totally and rightfully selfish and just enjoying each other.
But as you said I would always choose this life and my kids 💚
Amazing video! Helpful even to me a non-mommy, especially the part about how you thought it might not happen for you and how you coped. Amazingly encouraging.
Thank you so much for this video! Being honest, it felt so calming and I felt so good about you having that time for yourself (does that make any sense?) Like in-between all that you talk about being busy 24/7, something just felt so right about seeing you do ur makeup at a slower pace and hearing you ramble. It felt like good cozy Melanie content (that's my favorite part of it all!) And thank you always for being honest and realistic online. Means so much in these days, really. Xx
😂 Loved the weird video ending! I also really enjoy these Q&A style videos on different topics that you're really passionate about. I've got several years before I want to start having kids, but I find videos on the challenges of motherhood really intriguing. It gives me more to think about when it comes to how I want to parent my kids, what values I want to instill in them, and finding ways to not lose myself when future me is in the thick of it. Thank you for putting out videos like these, Melanie! 💚
Thank you for this video, Melanie. My partner and I work full time and have a childminder to look after my little one during the day. We are very lucky in that regard, but I live overseas and literally have no other support. Miss my Irish family so much more since she was born. I feel if I was closer there would be so many more opportunities for interactions for me and my daughter with my siblings/nieces/nephews. When I was growing up back home, we spent so much time in grannies and aunts' houses and with cousins and it had a huge impact on my upbringing. Baby #2 due in May and still trying to figure it all out. I guess this is what it is all about!
Thanks so much for these videos, Melanie! I’m going to be a mom next month (!!), and I was so happy hearing you talking about all the magic moments you share with your kids.
Not a mom, many years away from wanting kids, but I have always loved babies and parenting and am so curious about people's experiences. I love a long chatty video so please make more
Hi! Currently watching this as I’m recovering from having my tonsils removed 🙃. Just wanted to say that I’ve loved these chats and getting to hear more about your experiences. It’s properly felt like growing up with someone watching these videos the past 8ish years as I’m now 32 and I have had the urge to have a kid since hitting my late 20s. Yet also having to come to terms with the fact it could very well not happen, or at least shifting my thinking that I may not birth a child but I can still strive to create a family that I want. I think your content and others (like Hannah and Leena) have really helped me in shaping my ideas around kids and family and I just appreciate getting to hear others thoughts as I reflect on what I want and what I can have. And I’m obsessed with what I believe is a gold liner you added, really makes your eyes stand out! ❤
Thank you so much for acknowledging the situation in Gaza, specially in a parenting conversation, I feel everyone that makes content is ignoring it and I feel we need to keep it in our thoughts and conversations.
I really love and appreciate how open and honest you are. It’s so easy to get sucked into the fake toxic positivity on social media which just makes you feel like shit. I love motherhood with every fibre of my being, but it’s so tough and I can relate to almost everything you’ve talked about here, and I’ve only got one child (for now!) You’re an amazing mum and a fantastic honest mummy influencer xx
I love you mel, ive watch you since the begining and youve always being an inspiration to mee bc we struggle with similar things haha, thx for talking about gaza, your one of a million of lifestyle youtubers that do
I’m 23 and so so broody rn, just graduated med school and moved in with partner so we are so not ready yet but it’s all I want and I just can’t stop thinking about having babies. I love your motherhood content because I feel like it’s very real and reminds me that having kids is amazing and hard at the same time.
Not a mother and not planing to, but I really like your honesty around this topic :)
I’m only a few minutes in but this is beautifully and accurately articulated! I wish I’d seen this video prior to having my baby ❤
🥹💖
Sat with my 1 week old watching this video and resonating with the fact you will never know the intense overwhelming love a mother has for her baby until you become a mother 💕
My daughter is 10.5 months old and I’m pregnant with our second baby. This video was exactly what I needed in more ways than one. Thank you! You’re a great mam 💚
Ahhh it makes me so happy to hear you enjoyed it!
I’m in exact same situation 😂
@@melaniemurphyofficial thank you
@@mbubbles4808 congrats!
OMG MELANIE i came over to your channel and watched tre recent vids and been commenting and liking everything and just seen this.. I DIDNT REALISE YOU HAD COME OUT AND SAID STHG ABOUT GAZA.. almost cried. been watching youtube to calm down and not give myself ptsd from all the news and I am so happy to hear you come out and not be scared to loose 'buisiness' and just be a decent human being. THANK YOU. This means so much. I lost my country to something similar and it's crazy-making to see lots of people not care. thanks for caring. Also.. I am thinking of having kids and this really really helps me think of it realistically... thank you for everything and being you and being real. Lots of love honestly.
I would say most social media moms share the highlight reel of pregnancy and motherhood. It’s hard to find anything “real” so the messy painful moments have been a surprise for me. Thank you for sharing realness!
I think this causes them to be a surprise for SO many people...I'm not immune from it even though I SHARE content, I absolutely fell for the 'oh it's all just blissfully easy to juggle everything' thing haha xx
Very interesting insights! I liked hearing about how your perspective changed in regards to your own parents and childhood since having children. Made me think back to some of the good things my mum did for me and appreciate them a bit more.
I also start nodding along whenever you talk about how the way things are set up now aren’t natural or how they’re meant to be in terms of community/isolation of mothers etc
Thanks for sharing!
Also you looked very pretty, lovely makeup
the question about grieving for your old life is interesting. I'm 29, no kids yet, but I still grieve for the life I had at 19, 22, or 26. I think that's just a natural part of growing old, whether you have kids or not. Everything is a season.
You don't have to apologize for the way you apply makeup 😅 I'm trained in makeup and I choose to do it "wrong". My kids are the same age as your's and I don't have time for proper makeup and my kids like seeing my natural face anyway I think. I'm fine mostly just seeing my kids and my husband, but I do get lonely every now and then. As an autistic person, I seem to prefer my own company lol but I agree, it's hard to socialize when your kids are so young that you're always on high alert. When you have a baby, your brain naturally over processes threats, and my brain was already hyper aware before, so now I'm just high strung all the time and I want to not be anxious all the time, except when I'm cuddling with the kids. I've been working so hard lately, just trying to regain myself and some mental peace and I feel like I'm still a long way from where I need to be. I feel like I don't have a relationship with my husband at all, unless I initiate something. I get tired of not being a priority ...
I relate to all of this - so comforting to watch thank you!
New subscriber and first time commenting-I wanted to take a moment to type up a thank you for these videos!
This video was so heartfelt and I had such a strong reaction to it. Mel, thank you *so* much for this (and for all of your content, but especially the videos addressing this transitional time of life). I wish I could express how comforting it is to see someone in a place I can’t wait to get to (raising kids, slowly fixing up a house, working for yourself rather than a 9-5), talking about how much joy she’s finding in this life and yet still being honest about how tough so much of it is (especially because of the lack of community in the modern world). So few people are able to have these conversations without caricaturing one side or the other, but I feel like your videos actually give a full, honest picture of this life/stage of life. I don’t have older siblings or older friends to look to for advice and for hope that things will work out, so every time you (and Hannah Witton!) make a video like this, that content fills a hole in my life, and I’m so thankful for it.
I know we’re strangers on the internet but you and your family have helped me so much (and I only found your channel a few months ago!), so I wanted to say, as a usually-silent member of the audience-yes, this kind of gentle, laid-back chat about the little joys as well as the difficulties is just indescribably comforting. Thank you.
(Also, props to you for very politely setting boundaries with rude commenters. I’m so sorry you have to deal with them but you are doing a stellar job at handling that!)
😭😭😭 I have silent tears reading this. Comments like this are why I haven’t left this platform. It makes me feel so full of purpose to know I’m filling little holes in people’s lives…you just have no idea how appreciative I am of you taking the time to share such an encouraging comment! 🥹💖
@@melaniemurphyofficialI’m so glad to get to reflect a bit of the joy you’ve added to my life back to you!
Mine are 6 and 9- I remember the trenches well. Motherhood is mostly easy now and I do not take it for granted. Once my youngest turned 3 everything was so much easier- we can actually relax again on holiday or on weekends.
Love these types of videos!
Love this kind of content! Tami
My parents traveled a lot when my brother and I was young. I was 1 year old when they brought me to Tunisia (from Norway, so a long time for a small child on a plane!). They did of course find it stressful, but overall they're very happy for the experiences :) A tip from them is to travel in a bigger group (ex. with family, grandparents, aunts and uncles), so different people can watch the kids at all times - This way you still get to travel and experience the world!
Im 28 and looking to have kids in about 2-4 years and i find your honesty with the joy, with the loneliness, with the merky muddle of it all really helpful in unpicking my own thought's about parenthood, epseocally as someone without any peers that want kids.
The femenism thing stood out. I'm still very much a feminist but its interesting how much less satisified by 'choice' feminism i am then my friend's who dont want kids. A lot of pop feminsit discourse focuses on whats marketable (having it all) ignorging the essential conversations about child rearing and how it disproportionately affects women. It gets dismissed as a choice, like a luxury product or a pet, rathet then something we should care about as a society, isolating mostly women but also other care givers, and ignoring the systemic issues that end up hurting people.
Rant over 😅
love your content and appreciate you speaking about gaza 💚
The good parts - being able to play at the playpark and softplay as an adult😂, seeing them experience things for the first time, watching them develop a personality and take care of others. Watching other family members interact and get so much joy from being around your kids.
Yes please ! Share more of the good stuff about parenthood. My husband and I are planning on having kids soon. And your videos are so important to me. It relieves so much stress off me hearing you say it’s mostly good. I’ll be a coffee mam too. F*ck wine mom culture. I’m 25, and what you said about having kids young resonates a lot with me. I want my kids young and do the traveling later on (would have want them younger but you know, money).
Brilliant video, would love more of this ❤
I'm a young mum (25) of twin 3 year olds and the only one of my friends and social circle to have kids so far. This video was so comforting, hearing your views and knowing I'm not alone on some things. The isolation of modern day really sucks! Would love more videos along these lines
This was great, thank you so much for sharing!!!! 💕
Hi, Melanie! You said you could do a whole video on the topic of changing views on feminism and motherhood, and I would love that video! I’m wrestling with the same kind of ideas as I’ve just had my first baby. Sending you love and support always!💚
Love these videos! I felt compelled to comment when you said you think you f’ed up with the baby led weaning - you really didn’t! My experience with my 1yo and all the kids we know his age are they all take to food so differently, I think we probably have less control over it than we think we do 🤷♀️. I also remember from your “24hrs with a…” videos the food you were offering always looked nutritious and tasty. So I’m sure you did everything right (as much as there is such thing as right)! Would love more mothering Q&A or day in the life videos as your kids get older. I feel so seen by your videos! 💚
I enjoyed this download of mom talk so much, thank you. I have one and will say from my experience its not bad at all travelling with her alone. I can't imagine two. I have a little girl and as you say she also does girl things - the affection, gentleness and sweetness which is lovely...and fills my day with lots of love.
Thank you so much for this video and all your videos for that matter. I love how balanced you are and give a true sense of how parenting is. I was not a person who ever really knew I wanted kids, so when I got pregnant, it was very discouraging to hear most women online (especially in short form content) go on and on about how difficult, hard, and almost impossible mothering is. It was almost like, a couple of years ago, the pendulum swung from the “perfectly curated mommy content” to the other extreme and became almost a trend in and of itself to “expose” the misery of motherhood, without ever discussing how it is one of the most beautiful, amazing, fulfilling things one can do. Unfortunately, I believe this trend has scared a whole generation of young women into thinking they never want kids because of all the negativity they hear about it now. when women ask me, “ but isn’t being a mom hard?” I usually answer, “Yes it can be sometimes, but hard doesn’t mean bad. Hard can actually produce some of the most beautiful things. Both in our kids and in ourselves.” Love your content!!!
Omg. 'Hard doesn't mean bad' what a PERFECT SENTENCE
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and transparency being a FTM of an 8 month old - really enjoyed!
Thank you for voicing your empathy for Palestinian families!💚
If only there was more that we could do than speak up and donate...I feel so powerless. Free Palestine
Do you even know what that means? Do you care at all about the Israeli babies that were murdered or kidnapped? do you care about the women and men who were raped, tortured, their limbs and genitalia cut off, about the people who were burned alive? should I send you some pics of burned bodies? of family dogs being shot to death? of dead babies in their beds? of a woman's dead body being paraded around the streets of Gaza for the crowd to spit on and abuse some more? of dead babies in their beds? of elderly people dragged out of their beds in their own home, cut off from their oxygen machine only to be shot at their living rooms? wow... good to know you support terror. I hope your children won't end up like Emily Hand, the Irish girl who was kidnapped from her home after her step mom was murdered. @@melaniemurphyofficial
Thank you for talking about this! 🤗 I'm currently in my 2nd trimester and I'm sometimes freaking out a bit about the challenge of being a mother soon 🙈 hearing this is really helping a lot ❤️ I'd love to hear more! 🤗❤️
That's sooo good to know and AGH I AM SO BLOODY EXCITED FOR YOUU! XXX
@@melaniemurphyofficial thank you 🥰🥰
I really needed this video as a mum to an almost 9 month old - I agree and feel similar ways to so much of what you shared. Thank you for always being so open and transparent 🥹♥️
I love your honesty about everything
Absolutely love this videos ❤
This vieeo felt like an honest, heart felt conversation with a friend, I absolutely loved it 🥺❤❤
I find your videos never fail to inspire me and make me think and reflect about so many different things
In this case it was about motherhood and my relationship with my parents.
Another time was about shadow work and transactional analysis (thank you so much for that!!!)
I am 25 and only around 22 i unraveled the fact that my parents arent heros, they are only flawed humans who were trying their best.
So what you said about your experience of motherhood here reeeeeally made me reflect...
There is a lot to unpack in a sigle youtube comment and i am rambling so i am gonna stop
But yeah, Just me here to say i love this kind of video and wanna hear what you think about feminisim !!!!!!!! ❤❤
😭😭😭😭😭😭 omg hug meeee! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
You are always so bright melanie love your videos you are an amazing mother some people were born to parent's wishing you the best for Christmas and 2024 you are an awesom mother
I absolutely feel like I'm missing out on the single life after being a mom, but I think it comes with being human. There's always going to be a desire for more. Whatever the more is. I wish people to see that its ok to occasionally think that the grass is greener on the other side. It's only a problem when it becomes an overwhelming belief.
I love your content about motherhood. I celebrate you getting what you want and hope everyone gets to live the life they enjoy. At the same time, I hope people also know that you don't have to convince anyone or yourself that you can be fulfilled without children. We don't get to see successfully happy people without children because of what society chooses to impose on us. And I think it's harder to live a life you don't see tried out already. Though, it's absolutely possible to be happy in any of life's path that you fully embrace.
Love this style video. Can watch/listen while not looking at the screen. Would love a baby activity/toy recommendations video. Also more q&a's ❤️🥰
Loved this video!! ❤
I'm a mum of 5, my kids ages range from 2-14 and even though your kiddos are younger, you have managed to summarise all my feels so beautifully in this video! There is so much wisdom in this video and I would have loved to have more of that as a young mum. Having babies in 2 different decades, I can see it is easier to access parenting info nowadays but it can also be more confusing 🥰
14…oh my goodness you are entering those teen parenting years ahhh! How does it feel!? ❤️❤️❤️
Parenting videos are my fave!
49:00 PREACH!!! I too made this discovery when I became a mom and had to rethink A LOT of my previous “feminist” thoughts and perceptions.
THIS THIS THIS! I need to make a whole fucking video about this. My God.
Please do it!!! I think it would be helpful for soooo many women, especially younger women who are thinking they might want to have kids in the future!
LOVED this vid!! thank you!!!!
I’m gonna be totally honest. I don’t like to vent. I never have.
Telling someone about a bad experience doesn’t make me feel better, it makes me feel worse. It forces me to relive the experience and give it even more time and emotion (and I don’t have that much to spare).
I’m also not a big fan of listening to other people vent. I don’t TELL them that (I’m not mean), I know they do it because they need it and I want to help. But inside I’m waiting for it to be over.
I try not to be a positive person in a toxic way (I probably fail sometimes) but I do often feel out of step with others on this subject.
So it’s GREAT to hear someone talk about what they love and why they love it. Not in an unrealistic way, but to balance out the bad things we hear all day every day. It’s soothing to my soul. 💚
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So early! Melanie you’re gorgeous ❤
Loooooved this video!!
I always love listening to your chatty videos. Even though I do it over the course of multiple days 😂
On the “missing your old life” thing: absolutely yeah a lot of the parents I know talk about that. My aunt is really happy now that her kids are old enough that they’ve moved out so she gets to have her “old” life back, but this time with adult kids :) My parents as well are slowly adapting to having adult children, but we keep moving back home to save money lmao so it’s a slow process for them 😂 my brother is 27 and married but living at my parents house for a bit so he can save up to move overseas
Brilliant video and so true. Thanks ❤
Love this video! Especially loved hearing all the heartwarming and positive parts of parenting. This is not a criticism in any way btw, but because you talk more often about the challenging parts of parenting (very appreciated too btw) I had wrongfully forgot to acknowledge that it might just be because you're not mentioning the more positive aspects, and not because they are overshadowed by the negative. So this was a very lovely video for me personally 💚💚
I think going forward I am going to remind myself regularly not to presume people know about all the wonderful things…you know what it’s like? When you get a cold and you complain about your cold without acknowledging the fact that the rest of your body is working wonderfully and feels good 😂💖
@@melaniemurphyofficial Oh yeah, that’s a good analogy! And for all the people who have had colds before, it’s very obvious that ofc the rest of your body is working; but for somebody who has never had a cold, it’s difficult to hear all the complaining without assuming they’re dying 😅
Was so engrossed that I didn't realise gotta go and end this video here
I could listen to you for few more hours as engrossed 👸🌀
I would love to hear more about all the good things in general and from you 💚 maybe like a daily favourite moment insta post we could all comment ours on too to combat some of the negatives in the media?
Awhhh this is such a beautiful idea! ❤️
thank you for validating and talking about long term matressence! i am 14 months pp and i still feel like its all scrambled up there :(
hahaha also LOVED the ending 💚
Thank goddd for this video 😂❤
Is anyone else putting on Celine Dion right now? 😅 loved your video Melanie - recently wrote a blog post about anger and motherhood and you touched on so many points that I mentioned - connection is what we are missing mostly and watching your videos always makes me feel remembered, validated and normal, in this abnormal society. Xx
Agggh please please link here I'd love to read it!
Great video 💜 thank you, as a fellow Irish 31 Yr old mother, I feel very understood ☺️
I'm pregnant with our first and this definitely helped put things into perspective.
I was not expecting that ending haha.. love watching these videos even though I haven't got children
I think the question about parenting your children differently is interestingly phrased. My parents had two daughters and they raised us completely differently because we have complete opposite personalities. I feel like sex/gender shouldn't be the reason for a certain parenting style or whatever. The child's personality should. But then again I don't have kids, but it did work out for me and my sister.
im 27 and cant wait to have kids. thank you for your mama content x
I watch your videos since forever. Not a mom, not even a planning to 😅 I'm just here 😂
I’m preparing to try for a baby so this was much needed ! Thank you :)
Thank you for this!
48:01 I know this is an old video, but I've just discovered your channel in the last day, and I'm genuinely close to crying. I've never *ever* heard another woman say exactly how I feel like that.
THANK YOU for this video!
Î'm so happy I did not visit a lot of countries before kids that I got to experience for the first time WITH them. There is not much you cannot do with kids- we even took them to a concert- it was amazing!
Agh I am DYING to do stuff like this with them! We're actually considering a trip to Italy next May with the kids, even while one is a toddler...fuck it. I want to just give it a go and see how much fun I can squeeze out of the time there lol, but I know for sure that when they are both over age 4/5 it's just going to be EPIC
do it!!! We travelled with them when they were little too and it was hard sometimes but still so worth it.
Love this video!!! 👏🏽🙌🏽🙏🏽❤️
Loved this video. As a postpartum doula I love that you are talking about matrescence. Melanie I would love to know where you learned about this concept?
I love what you said about feminism! I’m not a mom yet, but these are my exact thoughts!!
You’re great, Melanie!! ❤ Keep it up!
We absolutely love travelling with our kids, it has become easy when the youngest turned 3. We did a roadrip on the American West Coast when they were 5 and 8 and travelled within Southeast Asia and had an absolute blast!
This sounds very believable to me! My eldest being 3...he's just a breeze to be around now! SO easy to go places with, it's having the baby that makes things more tough but omg I am dying to be at that stage...not that I want to rush through these young years or anything because I'll prob miss them FOREVER when they're over and will prob even want another baby haha BUT, man. It must be just incredible doing stuff like that with older kids. So beautiful to think about and so happy you got to do that! x
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I really appreciate this video, I feel like I resonate with everything you said. I noticed a lot of people negatively commenting about the amount of motherhood related content. I personally don't think it takes up "too much" space on your channel, and even if it did - having a baby and raising them is such a life changing event, it's natural to want to talk about it. I feel like these days having a baby is sometimes seen as anti-feminist. And with the state of available childcare options ( or lack thereof!), I can see why. But I think we should allow ourselves to be "consumed" by motherhood and allow it to transform us. It will, anyway. Before having a baby, I wanted to go back to work asap. I ended up having a 9month mat leave, and I wish I'd had more.
I think maybe the algorithm only shows motherhood content to certain people, it's wild because they'll click it but then complain about it, I just don't click on videos that don't interest me! Every click is basically a vote! And thing is, my motherhood focused content performs better views-wise (on here anyway) ... sometimes people say 'you only ever post about motherhood' but like recently I've made videos about slow fashion, about therapy techniques, about designing a small space to help it function/appear larger...there are ALWAYS other videos too so yeah I'm struggling to see how I could possibly make the channel any more 'balanced' when actually, being a mother is literally 99% of me right now. And I so so relate I would have loved to have taken a year totally off of worrying about making money. Even working part-time - because I don't hire staff, it's all on me so my brain is almost constantly in work mode, be it thinking about e-mails I need to reply to organising various brand deals that I do, planning videos, organising my days around the filming and the editing, it pulls me away from my kids. I adore the kids with every cell in my body and I'm SO bloody excited about the next 20 years and beyond! xxx
100% ❤ as an interesting fact.. I currently live in the UK, but I am originally from Romania, and the paid mat leave there is 2 years, which most women tend to take. Of course, that comes with the societal expectations that everyone *needs* to take 2 years which is completely stuck in a different era, but at least the option is there.