20, single, never dated before. Honestly just pressing into godly knowledge from godly people I know. I aspire to be in a marriage for sure, but I don't want to pursue a relationship that God didn't call me to be in. Don't wanna put my life as a single person to waste either. Asking God to keep me far away from the toxic college church culture of seeing all sisters in Christ solely for their value as a potential wife. That type of graceless culture among brothers and sisters makes me sick, has hurt me deeply and I bet so many others in the past. Thanks for this series, its been helpful.
I’m 23 and single.. Too many dating mishaps during high school and college. The woman I was dating the longest went ghost and let me know that God told her that He didn’t want us to be together or even friends. Ever since then, I’ve just been to myself. Right now, I’m just focusing on myself and finishing school..working on my relationship with God
We are in love with the idea of marriage and family instead of being in love with a person. Instead, we should pursue our purpose, work on ourselves, and wait to fall in love with someone who is a mature believer or maturing. It will only be natural then that if the individual is someone who would be a good and best choice, you will want to see yourself marrying and having children with them. And then wait to see if the interest is mutual. That is the natural progression, not what we have made of ourselves and relationships. Much heartache spared that way. We are out of order today.
Lol. I’m 26 living in NYC. I completely understand but being a part of a body of church that set that standard makes it less lonely. I hope you’re a part of a church body that have young people who are choosing to not copy the behavior of the world but to obey God’s will.
I remember getting so upset that my parents wouldn’t let me “date” in high school, but I am so grateful for their wisdom now. Got married to my only girlfriend this past summer at 23 years old. Currently in medical school so I am not exactly the best example of provider at the moment, but do agree with you on your points about being intentional in dating and making sure you are ready for the commitment in regards to finances. Love the video and your thoughts on Christian relationships.
Ruslan, your words felt like God pouring a bucket of ice water on my head... in the best way possible haha. I'm 28 and fully gave my life to Christ at 25. At that time I started dating a Christian girl and felt like God pulled us out of that relationship to finally learn how to love Christ, heal from our sin, and be reliant on only Him. (Like Israel being drawn into the wilderness in Hosea). I've been single now for 2.5 years, and hoping that I can put myself in a financial position in 2021 where I'm ready to date again. I was a missionary in 2020 so I didn't make a dime haha. Anyways, glad I found this, glad you gave some wisdom to us that need it, and pray you keep on doing it. I know you said you don't want to be a pastor, but hey bro your desire for discipling young people is stronger than a lot of pastors I know! God Bless! Dante
23 single just trusting in the lord and what he has for me. I believe God had revealed the one to me just keeping God first in my life and relationship.
Great stuff Ruslan!🔥 I am 25 and I have always dated with a purpose, and that for me was to pursue marriage. I had my time working on myself and become the person God wants me to be so I can love and care for my future husband and it was worth the wait. God blessed me with an amazing Godly man. Wedding next year!
Thanks for this. I am 24 and still single. Sometimes, we need time to just reset our focus back on God and grow in our faith before we mess up a beautiful thing God created for us.
29, single living in the UK. Very different to the environment you have in the US. No bible belt, and few Christians met and marry young. I've yet to date someone who was a virgin or staying celibate before marriage. They've all been willing to try for me thought.. but that's not the same as wanting to be celibate. Any other UK Christians know what I'm talking about?
As a single, middle aged never married woman, I have heard most angles and teachings. When I was young, it was 'do not look for marriage, focus on the Lord..' which I did, full speed...(while I did hope for marriage, there just were no available committed men around in churches.) The same in my 30's and 40'... trying to look for someone would not work, but neither did the men just appear from the sky. Now, the prevailing attitude in society and church is 'you should have found someone already'.. So whatever the situation, someone is finding fault and telling us what they think we are doing wrong. :) The only way to any real solution for anything is to seek the Lord, and His direction, and seek to be faithful in every step. I still believe in marriage, and honestly, I would not have had the maturity when younger.. but it is very tough emotionally at times.
I appreciate the arguments for why you can get married young. I also appreciate people who get married a little older. There's things we work through and learn about ourselves and the world by virtue of time. Everyone is looking for something different and God's plans are different also. I personally don't desire to be married young.
I am 23. This is spot on, after my last relationship ended in 2019, I took the time to focus on my relationship with Christ. During this time I have learned how to walk in purity successfully, budget and invest, and ultimately know who I am through God's eyes. Over this year I learned singleness is truly a gift and a time to develop a Godly vision for my life based on the purpose He's given me. The clarity this provides me when entering any type of relationship is simply amazing. For all those on the same journey as me, keep on pushing and enjoy the process! Be blessed!
Listen, I’ll be 39 this year and I must say.. your videos have blessed me today. Thank you for this very necessary content. If I knew at 19 what I know now! He/she who have ears, listen!👂🏽 God bless you and your family! 🙏🏽
Single, 23, dumpster fire past relationships. Started dating just before I turned 21 and I wish I hadn't because it was so messy. 😅 I have learned, repented and I am now content as a single girl. I believe it will work itself out eventually. Im just focused on my career as a math and science teacher and being a super awesome aunt, friend, sister, daughter and leader. Taking the challenge: 2 years+ with no dating. Just growth and maturity. Love it.
Love what you do man. Glad one of your video's popped up on my main feed a month ago. Big ups to you and pray for the growth and expansion of your platform. We need this type of stuff in our society and communities today.
26 married for almost 6 years, met my wife in highschool 2012 (wasnt a christian until 2014) found some sound teachers early in the faith the likes of leonard ravenhill, paul washer, john piper... me and my girlfriend were physical before salvation but ultimately abstained from any physical contact for a year until we decided to marry. Long story shortened . We now have 1 child , wifey stays home raising our boy and i am the sole provider reason being is we want to be the ones teaching and influencing our child in the early stages of life rather than ship him to daycare(preschool) .
29. Came to Vancouver, BC at 25 as a Chinese immigrant. There’s a lot to adapt culturally, including the dating scene. Turned into Christian 2 years ago in a local church. I fall in love with someone in church and I guess she somewhat like me back too. But there was an event happened between us that make us stopped talking to each other, and I don’t even know what red flag did I violate. The cultural gap is HUGE! I was insecure and resentful to God for “why do I have to go through all these obstacles?” And “why do no one here admire and understand my hard work?”. Your word is comforting to me and I glad that God chose me to go through it because the blessing is coming
MY GOODNESS! YOU WERE TALKING STRAIGHT TO ME!!😳 I have been going through a Santification process for 1.5 yrs and I keep falling down. I went to Jesus in prayer yesterday asking for his strength & wisdom to help me get through this period in my life and it was like he was talking straight through your lips!! Im 47, single for 4.5 yrs, I've tried online dating and there are SOOOO MANY WORLDLY PEOPLE on there. I refuse to settle for less than a Godly man, I made that promise to God. It has been EXTREMELY difficult. I know there are shortcomings in my life and things I need to improve on. I know what they are... Please pray for me. I want to be the woman God wants me to be, not who I think or the world or friends think I should be. Thank you again ❤🤗🙏 🙌
I'm 28 and been single for most of my adult life. I was baptized almost 5 years ago and have cleaned up some of my old ways but I still have some demons. I was inspired by the Outlier Challenge and got out of debt last year, started eating out less and being more physically active. I was also going to school and finished a vocational program in December, but I don't think I want to continue to pursue a degree, since it will get in my way of making money. I also wanted to start dating last year, but living in San Diego during the pandemic has made it difficult to meet God-fearing women and go out on dates.
Almost 27, single with pool of resources and good paying job with benefits , still Surrendering this area of my Life as God's purposed it to be. I believe God will provide if He has a purpose for it already and if He knows I am molded for that season
Love your view point but things are very different in London, I'm 35 single, don't have children and never have been married. Unfortunately it's hard to meet a like minded person and I would prefer to stay single till the right person comes along.
I'll be 33 January 8th. Due to my past I'm nowhere near ready for that. Being honest with myself. I focused on " finding that one " for so long no more wasting time. You're right being single and pressing into God you find your true identity. Instead of trying to find it in someone else. That will never work. Going to give it another year and I'll see where I'm at. Always solid advice man. Thank you.
Wow. Every time I come here I get checked. In a good Godly way. I appreciate your honesty and your advice. God bless you and your beautiful family. 👏🏼💕
19 and single. Just here to take notes. Stayed away from all of that stuff since I was 13 but as I am getting older, I’d like to be wise and knowledgeable for when the time comes.
I really love this and I think it is a timely word for the new year. Obviously we can apply this whenever, but you know... new year new goals mumbo jumbo. Anyway, I’m 25 and this stuff is still relevant and applicable. Love your authenticity
Hey Ruslan thanks for another awesome vid! You have very valid views here. I too was stuck in the trap of thinking I needed college to have any useful skills. Now I am in my 30s learned a trade (cooking and I love it). My goal is now to learn as much about cooking as a can in restaurants while I save up for a food truck(a place to witness!) Its all in God's timing now, Praise God im in Florida and the restaurant business is still alive. Need less to say im single and now working towards being ready to be a husband as you spoke about, thanks brother!
I'm 21 and make above average income by the grace of God. I'm single and got out of a super toxic relationship through lots of prayer earlier this year. One thing I'd like to point out when being financially stable, is to make sure that we aren't picking up a potential spouse because of our stability. I've heard of so many gals that just check two boxes, ☑️ Christian, ☑️ Financially set. That ain't it chief! If this person doesn't care for you because of WHO God made you, but because of what you provide, it's going to be a rocky road. We can't rely on man as the ultimate provider. Yes, we should provide for our families. I'm saying that can't be the only reason. Just some food for thought. Love ya Rus!
Ruslan thank you so much for part 1 and part 2- great points! I'm a new follower to your page, randomly came across your videos a couple months ago :) As a 28 year old virgin/ single, I'm faithfully waiting for a good Godly man.. is it hard? Yes! Will it be worth it? Heck yes!! Community and the people around you are so so important. Like you said, "what you believe, will determine how you will behave." The truest thing.
I got married at 18, my husband was 20. I'm 26, almost 27 and we've been married for 8 years and have two kids. It's been crazy, hard, and a lot of work. But yeah this is amazing advice and I wish this was available back in our dating days! I sent this to a couple of friends and I hope it helps them.
Thank you for Godly wisdom Ruslan, I'm trying to gain knowledge on this topic. I'm young, 16, and know that I wanna be married one day. I wanna prepare now, so I can be the man God wants me to be for my wife. If you (Ruslan) or anyone else happen to see this, pray for me. Been just battling with romantic feelings at this young age. Need self control and wisdom to do this right. Thank you, God bless 💙
So good, thanks bro. I understand your not an “expert” on this topic but you have experience that some of us don’t have so you talking about this stuff and asking us these hard questions helps. (22, single, no collage)
Dude.... you are definitely a soldier of the Lord and he is speaking through you and making your words the antidote to the smoke and mirrors virus thats heavy in these streets. Keep doing what you are doing. We need Truth speakers!
I am from Missionary Spencer Smith's channel. I am soo grateful for the both of you, your families. You are sharing terms/ words used that only a new Born Again believer will truly appreciate in learning definition and context to be used. I think we forget that and the importance as we get more time in our individual Sanctification process. Titus 2:11 Lord keep you Brother, your wife and family and viewing audience.
Met my fiancé at 18, started dating at 19, got engaged at 21, & getting married on January 16th 2021 at the age of 23. We’re both 23. Going into Dating I knew that I wouldn’t date anyone unless I thought i could see myself potentially marrying them. I wouldn’t date anyone unless they were also dating to pursue the possibility of marriage...
"Cause you gotta vent" that was more for the ladies 🤣 My parents drilled the college crap into me I grew secular. And my husbands family very sincere Christian and told and thought him to built skills. We and reaping the benefits of their wisdom. This is amazing advice! My husband and I got married at 20 & 21. He has a trade and I went to trade school. So, I have some school debt. We bought our first home a year later. Im a stay at home homeschool mama. We had our kids at 23&25. We live in central California. I learned a lot of skills doing direct sales (stopped) and now I'm working on building my brand and discipling other women❤ My husband loves what he does. This next year he is starting his own business. We are both very entrepreneurial!
Was about to go to school in Nebraska to play ball on scholarship but decided i didn't want to enter that environment as a newborn Christian because i know myself and my past issues one of the biggest being sexual sin, lust ect. So ended getting a job , making 9 an hour to start. I was a student my whole life so no resume, but i had a desire to marry and provide for my lady.. prayer prayer and application and within 2 years i was making around 20 an hour...but the early stages of marraige most arguements were about money and security that it brings.
I’m 32 and haven’t done much dating within the last couple years. moved to a new city alone and been with the Lord a lot. I’ve been pruned, gone through a lot of healing and still the journey continues. Sometimes (could be my own stuff) I feel when watching videos on singles it’s as if there always more work to be done to be “ready for marriage” though this is Sound advice and I know much was geared toward the men. Sometimes I feel I have to be darn near perfect and have everything perfectly aligned before being ready to be married. There really is no formula. I’ll still stay encouraged that one day it will happen for me 💕😊 great practical wisdom here though for sure.
Awesome advice. I watched the previous video on dating right before I got to this one. Watching from South Africa. I'm currently in a season of self reflection and drawing nearer to God, so not keen on being married now, perhaps in the future, as He wills (whether married or not). This video came at the right time. Affirmed a lot, felt convicted at times as well. I'm convinced what greatly attributes to me being single is the church I attend, as it is small and mostly attended by elderly folk. It would be great if you could do a video on when to leave the church. It's a huge multifactorial topic, but I'd love to hear your thoughts about it. Keep up the great work bro. God bless you.
Your message is truly a blessing 🙏🏾 I needed to hear this. There are questions that you said that I never asked myself until now. Thank you and God bless🙏🏾❤
Totally relate to his dating decision making. Been dating for 2 years and this year am choosing to work on myself and focus on my own personal and spiritual growth to be a healthier person for myself instead of doing things that I used to which was a very worldly perspective that I let myself hold onto. Obedience and community with God is worth it, not East always but so worth it instead looking to the status quo about relationships.
I’m 19, and trying to set myself straight before involving someone else in this, but I’d encourage the rest of y’all to go watch Ben Stuart’s “single, dating, engaged, married” series on a biblical guide to each season in life.
OMG I so needed this and I didn’t even know it!!! I am going to start with the one year challenge today! I am a divorced and single mom in my early 30s. I have been single (but stupid) for the last 5 years, wondering why I can’t have a great relationships.. it’s all starting with me, and what I was doing before was just circling around the same DAMN mountain!! Thank you for this!!!🙏🙏🙏 it seriously blessed me today!!
Yes, to biblical counseling, one-on-one counseling and group therapy. Yes, to working out past traumas and healing! Yes, to repentance! Yes, to being debt free!
I'm 40 and single. I've dated only a couple of times and realized that I am not happy with that lifestyle. I am stuck in my own ways. I am still a virgin and don't really care if that ever changes.
23 & single like some others in the comment section. A lot of my friends from Christian university got engaged this year and it’s definitely easy to compare and feel discouraged, but I’m challenged to look inward and take some time to work on the things you mentioned. I think missing a lot of face to face contact and church hugs makes the loneliness feel more real & dating feel like it could help but there are tons of other relationships and things to invest in right now. Great conversation and questions to ask ourselves👌🏾 looking out for us young folk 😂
Best thing I have heard on the subject from Christian perspective to today's young believers! Summarizes all the salient issues with answers for sincere Disciples!!!
I feel you on the college point. That being said, I don't know how practical it is for certain professions. Not everyone is a creative or wants to work with their hands. And for the jobs that don’t fit in these categories, it’s incumbent on companies to not require post-sec education in order to get those jobs. That’s the only way this cycle can break. One could alternatively work for a bit and go to school later in life once they’ve saved. This would allow for one to be married earlier. It’s tough all around cause we’re trained to enter post-sec once we leave high school, rather than wait and be a mature student. Stuff to ponder
I'm 21 and single and I've never officially dated but I've had a lot of friends that are girls that I exclusively hung out with and I ended up liking them and I made it up in my head that we we're pretty much dating which was really dangerous cause after I told them I like them and they didn't like me back it ruined the relationship and it kinda destroyed my confidence to the point where I was struggling with lust and I couldn't and still can't really even tell when a girl likes me. Right now I'm just focusing on me, trying to build, save so that I can be ready, cause I realised that I'm no where near ready to be in a relationship. I'm still in school, I'm on good momentum towards my chosen career and I know God wants to use me in this time and so God has to be my main and only focus right now. There is a Christian girl that I'm a little interested in but I'm taking it super slow and putting it on the backburner cause I know I'm not ready.
@Ruslan... thank you brother for talking about this... you can get to the altar in purity. Were we 100% perfect... by no means but my wife and I did it. We shared our very first kiss at the altar as well. I was a virgin and she was not but we made a decision of not just establishing boundaries but having real godly accountability. We love this topic and it’s our heart desire to share His heart for Godly relationships on our channel and in our books! Thanks again bro... you are doing a fantastic job with your channel! God Bless ~ Damien and Kenady
One thing is absolutely undeniable, the Bible (Matthew 5:27-32) clearly states that any sex before marriage, lustful thoughts and divorce (except for the cause of fornication - Matthew 5:32) are adultery/sin
Thank you @Ruslan, I am 36 and came to the lord finally, and started to grow in him and searching for a Godly wife and I needed to hear this to calm my spirit!
Void Bachman and Timothy Keller have some very interesting ideas about dating and marriage that anyone with wants to learn more about biblical relationships should hear. Fair warning, Vodi is fairly fundamental when it comes to he views in dating but regardless of if you disagree with him on some things he does an amazing job explaining biblical manhood and womanhood which single and married people can all learn lots from. Timothy Keller has a whole sermon series of marriage which I’m currently going through.
I didn’t date and was abstinent until marriage at almost 32. Based on both my mistakes (yes there was still room for mistakes) and the things I’m sure I got right, I second all of this. Very good advice!
Yoooooo this is freakin gold! I’ve been trying to tell the young adults at my church this! I’m 29 I make 4K take home and I still won’t date cuz I know I have areas in my life I need to work on before I bring a woman into my life for marriage. My rule is I won’t date until I’m ready for marriage that means financially and spiritually. Listen single ppl
Majority of women are vulnerable in dating and won't admit it but I will say marriage is the purpose of dating for me. I personally don't date around its freaky and risky. There is too much pressure yet I recognize I am partially responsible to meet a man of God. Before Christ I had a few boyfriends and after Christ one serious relationship and it was the best thing that NEVER happened lol. It's not easy being single and desiring marriage. It's not easy especially during covid. It's easy to fall in the trap of lies thinking a person completes you when the truth is God is the only one who completes a person. In my 30's and working on trusting the Lord and his timing 🙏😫😜
This is wise advice....I’m 56 and surely did not have conversations like this when I was young. I will say this though, there are no guarantees. Life happens and one can “do everything right” and still it not end well or how you imagined. I married at 22, husband was 22 as well. He was a pastor. 3 kids and 30 years later divorced. Never saw it coming. Still God is good.
31 and single, enjoying life in the Lord 😊. Every stage comes with it’s own challenges. The grass is not necessarily greener on the other side, so just enjoy the journey. I am patiently waiting (okay, sometimes I get frustrated but overall I am patient 😂), and I believe I know overall what I am looking for in my future spouse. I would have LOVED to be married with kids by now but hey, things did not go that way. I am still blessed. Whether I marry or not, it’s okay. God’s got my back. God gives His grace. Yes, pray for me and for all christian singles to be content (nothing is ever easy whether married or single at any stage and everything comes with its own challenges). No debt, own my apt, have great friends, family, and church family....whoa! I sure am blessed lol. Have a nice job and working on becoming an entrepreneur...whoa! (No, not gloating....it’s just that it’s so tempting to focus on what we don’t have and miss out on what we do have). Single person, you are also blessed. Longing for marriage is not bad....we just have to be careful to not miss or neglect what we already have for that which we don’t have yet. With all that said.... boy, do I want to meet my husband lol. Lord help us all to live a life pleasing to him in all aspects of life. God bless you all!
I’m in the same boat girl, 30 and single, never in my life when I thought I wouldn’t have been married with kids right now but it is what it is. Good career as a nurse, I know that, and a good support system. Sometimes I wonder why I haven’t been snatched up yet and why everybody I’ve met seems to be wishy-washy about being serious but it is what it is, if it happens it’ll happen and if it doesn’t it doesn’t. I’m whole either way and my life is useful and matters either way. Blessings to you girl and thanks for sharing ♥️
Thank you very much brother for the advice and for making this video. I really appreciate you. You have no idea what you just did to me and it's really the start of new journey. With the help and grace of Jesus Christ, amazing and wonderful things will happen.
20, single, never dated before. Honestly just pressing into godly knowledge from godly people I know. I aspire to be in a marriage for sure, but I don't want to pursue a relationship that God didn't call me to be in. Don't wanna put my life as a single person to waste either.
Asking God to keep me far away from the toxic college church culture of seeing all sisters in Christ solely for their value as a potential wife. That type of graceless culture among brothers and sisters makes me sick, has hurt me deeply and I bet so many others in the past. Thanks for this series, its been helpful.
amen!
Very wise words 🙌🏾
Facts bro God bless
Bro I’m 20 same situations where you from?
I'm 23 never dated lol can relate.
I’m 23 and single.. Too many dating mishaps during high school and college. The woman I was dating the longest went ghost and let me know that God told her that He didn’t want us to be together or even friends. Ever since then, I’ve just been to myself.
Right now, I’m just focusing on myself and finishing school..working on my relationship with God
Very good choice. Pursue a relationship with the Father, God, through Jesus Christ and, if God wills it, you will find a wife. Have faith.
Same brody 20years old n literally same
We are in love with the idea of marriage and family instead of being in love with a person. Instead, we should pursue our purpose, work on ourselves, and wait to fall in love with someone who is a mature believer or maturing. It will only be natural then that if the individual is someone who would be a good and best choice, you will want to see yourself marrying and having children with them. And then wait to see if the interest is mutual. That is the natural progression, not what we have made of ourselves and relationships. Much heartache spared that way. We are out of order today.
15:53 "God don't got no grandchildren" - Ruslan 2020
29 and single since birth woohoo 🥳
Trusting God. Stay strong all you other singles out there.
30, a total catch and single since birth too girl. Lol! Much love to you
@@bubblegumprincess 😆
27 and single. Living in NYC makes me feel hopeless. Too many "Christians" who believe sex is mandatory in a relationship.
Come to Alabama we don’t lol
Stay strong girl! Stick to your boundaries!
Sis I live in nyc too! Don't give up please. Ik it be hard but hang in there. I'm 19.
Lol. I’m 26 living in NYC. I completely understand but being a part of a body of church that set that standard makes it less lonely. I hope you’re a part of a church body that have young people who are choosing to not copy the behavior of the world but to obey God’s will.
@@ernahammond8116 unfortunately, most of them don't believe in celibacy 🤷🏾♀️
I remember getting so upset that my parents wouldn’t let me “date” in high school, but I am so grateful for their wisdom now. Got married to my only girlfriend this past summer at 23 years old. Currently in medical school so I am not exactly the best example of provider at the moment, but do agree with you on your points about being intentional in dating and making sure you are ready for the commitment in regards to finances. Love the video and your thoughts on Christian relationships.
God is the best example of a provider.
Ruslan, your words felt like God pouring a bucket of ice water on my head... in the best way possible haha. I'm 28 and fully gave my life to Christ at 25. At that time I started dating a Christian girl and felt like God pulled us out of that relationship to finally learn how to love Christ, heal from our sin, and be reliant on only Him. (Like Israel being drawn into the wilderness in Hosea).
I've been single now for 2.5 years, and hoping that I can put myself in a financial position in 2021 where I'm ready to date again. I was a missionary in 2020 so I didn't make a dime haha. Anyways, glad I found this, glad you gave some wisdom to us that need it, and pray you keep on doing it. I know you said you don't want to be a pastor, but hey bro your desire for discipling young people is stronger than a lot of pastors I know!
God Bless!
Dante
I agree. Casual dating will can cause problems in your marriage. People enter into marriage broken because of past hurt.
23 single just trusting in the lord and what he has for me. I believe God had revealed the one to me just keeping God first in my life and relationship.
Great stuff Ruslan!🔥
I am 25 and I have always dated with a purpose, and that for me was to pursue marriage. I had my time working on myself and become the person God wants me to be so I can love and care for my future husband and it was worth the wait. God blessed me with an amazing Godly man. Wedding next year!
Congrats! God bless your family!
Congratulations
Thanks for this. I am 24 and still single. Sometimes, we need time to just reset our focus back on God and grow in our faith before we mess up a beautiful thing God created for us.
Hi Ruslan! I'm 26 and I'm getting married this coming April with my 6 year girlfriend and my friend since we were 12 years old. God is good!
I hope you mean she was both! 😆😆😝
29, single living in the UK. Very different to the environment you have in the US. No bible belt, and few Christians met and marry young. I've yet to date someone who was a virgin or staying celibate before marriage. They've all been willing to try for me thought.. but that's not the same as wanting to be celibate. Any other UK Christians know what I'm talking about?
I know exactly what you’re
talking about! I live in London
This blessed me. I’ve been so busy doing me and pressing into God that I’m coming out of this pandemic all growed up and glowed up! No man required.
As all the Christian singles take notes 👀😅... All silliness aside this was dope 👌🏾
💯💯
If GodlyDating101 is who you are trying to get on the channel that would be awesome!
Yes sir!
Tovares & Safa are dope. Looking forward to it
As a single, middle aged never married woman, I have heard most angles and teachings. When I was young, it was 'do not look for marriage, focus on the Lord..' which I did, full speed...(while I did hope for marriage, there just were no available committed men around in churches.) The same in my 30's and 40'... trying to look for someone would not work, but neither did the men just appear from the sky. Now, the prevailing attitude in society and church is 'you should have found someone already'.. So whatever the situation, someone is finding fault and telling us what they think we are doing wrong. :) The only way to any real solution for anything is to seek the Lord, and His direction, and seek to be faithful in every step. I still believe in marriage, and honestly, I would not have had the maturity when younger.. but it is very tough emotionally at times.
Ruslan you give such great dad advice lol! You’re a cool dad! Please keep it up!! God bless you and your family 😊!
I appreciate the arguments for why you can get married young. I also appreciate people who get married a little older. There's things we work through and learn about ourselves and the world by virtue of time. Everyone is looking for something different and God's plans are different also. I personally don't desire to be married young.
I am 23. This is spot on, after my last relationship ended in 2019, I took the time to focus on my relationship with Christ. During this time I have learned how to walk in purity successfully, budget and invest, and ultimately know who I am through God's eyes. Over this year I learned singleness is truly a gift and a time to develop a Godly vision for my life based on the purpose He's given me. The clarity this provides me when entering any type of relationship is simply amazing. For all those on the same journey as me, keep on pushing and enjoy the process! Be blessed!
Listen, I’ll be 39 this year and I must say.. your videos have blessed me today. Thank you for this very necessary content. If I knew at 19 what I know now! He/she who have ears, listen!👂🏽
God bless you and your family! 🙏🏽
Single, 23, dumpster fire past relationships. Started dating just before I turned 21 and I wish I hadn't because it was so messy. 😅 I have learned, repented and I am now content as a single girl. I believe it will work itself out eventually. Im just focused on my career as a math and science teacher and being a super awesome aunt, friend, sister, daughter and leader.
Taking the challenge: 2 years+ with no dating. Just growth and maturity. Love it.
Love what you do man. Glad one of your video's popped up on my main feed a month ago. Big ups to you and pray for the growth and expansion of your platform. We need this type of stuff in our society and communities today.
I appreciate that! thats so cool! thank for watching and commenting
26 married for almost 6 years, met my wife in highschool 2012 (wasnt a christian until 2014) found some sound teachers early in the faith the likes of leonard ravenhill, paul washer, john piper... me and my girlfriend were physical before salvation but ultimately abstained from any physical contact for a year until we decided to marry. Long story shortened . We now have 1 child , wifey stays home raising our boy and i am the sole provider reason being is we want to be the ones teaching and influencing our child in the early stages of life rather than ship him to daycare(preschool) .
29. Came to Vancouver, BC at 25 as a Chinese immigrant. There’s a lot to adapt culturally, including the dating scene.
Turned into Christian 2 years ago in a local church. I fall in love with someone in church and I guess she somewhat like me back too. But there was an event happened between us that make us stopped talking to each other, and I don’t even know what red flag did I violate. The cultural gap is HUGE!
I was insecure and resentful to God for “why do I have to go through all these obstacles?” And “why do no one here admire and understand my hard work?”.
Your word is comforting to me and I glad that God chose me to go through it because the blessing is coming
MY GOODNESS! YOU WERE TALKING STRAIGHT TO ME!!😳 I have been going through a Santification process for 1.5 yrs and I keep falling down. I went to Jesus in prayer yesterday asking for his strength & wisdom to help me get through this period in my life and it was like he was talking straight through your lips!! Im 47, single for 4.5 yrs, I've tried online dating and there are SOOOO MANY WORLDLY PEOPLE on there. I refuse to settle for less than a Godly man, I made that promise to God. It has been EXTREMELY difficult. I know there are shortcomings in my life and things I need to improve on. I know what they are... Please pray for me. I want to be the woman God wants me to be, not who I think or the world or friends think I should be.
Thank you again ❤🤗🙏 🙌
Praying that you will continue transforming onto the woman God wants you to be sis. Thanks for sharing your story. 💕
Thank you.❤🤗 I haven't stopped seeking him.
I'm 28 and been single for most of my adult life. I was baptized almost 5 years ago and have cleaned up some of my old ways but I still have some demons. I was inspired by the Outlier Challenge and got out of debt last year, started eating out less and being more physically active. I was also going to school and finished a vocational program in December, but I don't think I want to continue to pursue a degree, since it will get in my way of making money. I also wanted to start dating last year, but living in San Diego during the pandemic has made it difficult to meet God-fearing women and go out on dates.
Almost 27, single with pool of resources and good paying job with benefits , still Surrendering this area of my Life as God's purposed it to be.
I believe God will provide if He has a purpose for it already and if He knows I am molded for that season
Love your view point but things are very different in London, I'm 35 single, don't have children and never have been married. Unfortunately it's hard to meet a like minded person and I would prefer to stay single till the right person comes along.
I'll be 33 January 8th. Due to my past I'm nowhere near ready for that. Being honest with myself. I focused on " finding that one " for so long no more wasting time. You're right being single and pressing into God you find your true identity. Instead of trying to find it in someone else. That will never work. Going to give it another year and I'll see where I'm at. Always solid advice man. Thank you.
Wow. Every time I come here I get checked. In a good Godly way. I appreciate your honesty and your advice. God bless you and your beautiful family. 👏🏼💕
This is good... what is your advice for folks that are their 30’s?
Well, where are you in prep? Have you been positioned for God to prep you?
How are there less than 800 likes in this? This is so good!! Pastors need to be teaching this stuff more!
19 and single. Just here to take notes. Stayed away from all of that stuff since I was 13 but as I am getting older, I’d like to be wise and knowledgeable for when the time comes.
I'm 27, never been in a relationship and doing pretty fine. Learning the fruit of the spirit and preparing along.
I really love this and I think it is a timely word for the new year. Obviously we can apply this whenever, but you know... new year new goals mumbo jumbo. Anyway, I’m 25 and this stuff is still relevant and applicable. Love your authenticity
Hey Ruslan thanks for another awesome vid! You have very valid views here. I too was stuck in the trap of thinking I needed college to have any useful skills. Now I am in my 30s learned a trade (cooking and I love it). My goal is now to learn as much about cooking as a can in restaurants while I save up for a food truck(a place to witness!) Its all in God's timing now, Praise God im in Florida and the restaurant business is still alive. Need less to say im single and now working towards being ready to be a husband as you spoke about, thanks brother!
I'm 21 and make above average income by the grace of God. I'm single and got out of a super toxic relationship through lots of prayer earlier this year.
One thing I'd like to point out when being financially stable, is to make sure that we aren't picking up a potential spouse because of our stability. I've heard of so many gals that just check two boxes, ☑️ Christian, ☑️ Financially set. That ain't it chief! If this person doesn't care for you because of WHO God made you, but because of what you provide, it's going to be a rocky road. We can't rely on man as the ultimate provider.
Yes, we should provide for our families. I'm saying that can't be the only reason. Just some food for thought. Love ya Rus!
Ruslan thank you so much for part 1 and part 2- great points! I'm a new follower to your page, randomly came across your videos a couple months ago :) As a 28 year old virgin/ single, I'm faithfully waiting for a good Godly man.. is it hard? Yes! Will it be worth it? Heck yes!! Community and the people around you are so so important. Like you said, "what you believe, will determine how you will behave." The truest thing.
This was deeply convicting. Thanks for keeping it real with the tough questions.
Once again I am being reminded by the same message I received earlier this year thinking I was doing something wrong. Have to keep focusing on myself
Loved what you said about God having no grandkids. Great talk!
I got married at 18, my husband was 20. I'm 26, almost 27 and we've been married for 8 years and have two kids. It's been crazy, hard, and a lot of work. But yeah this is amazing advice and I wish this was available back in our dating days! I sent this to a couple of friends and I hope it helps them.
Thank you for Godly wisdom Ruslan, I'm trying to gain knowledge on this topic. I'm young, 16, and know that I wanna be married one day. I wanna prepare now, so I can be the man God wants me to be for my wife. If you (Ruslan) or anyone else happen to see this, pray for me. Been just battling with romantic feelings at this young age. Need self control and wisdom to do this right. Thank you, God bless 💙
So good, thanks bro. I understand your not an “expert” on this topic but you have experience that some of us don’t have so you talking about this stuff and asking us these hard questions helps. (22, single, no collage)
Dude.... you are definitely a soldier of the Lord and he is speaking through you and making your words the antidote to the smoke and mirrors virus thats heavy in these streets. Keep doing what you are doing. We need Truth speakers!
I need God ain’t got no grandchildren on a t-shirt
I am from Missionary Spencer Smith's channel. I am soo grateful for the both of you, your families. You are sharing terms/ words used that only a new Born Again believer will truly appreciate in learning definition and context to be used. I think we forget that and the importance as we get more time in our individual Sanctification process. Titus 2:11
Lord keep you Brother, your wife and family and viewing audience.
Thank you so much! I text with Spencer. super nice guy
Met my fiancé at 18, started dating at 19, got engaged at 21, & getting married on January 16th 2021 at the age of 23. We’re both 23.
Going into Dating I knew that I wouldn’t date anyone unless I thought i could see myself potentially marrying them. I wouldn’t date anyone unless they were also dating to pursue the possibility of marriage...
Congratulations!
Congrats!
Congratulations
Finally somebody came out and said something 👏. Totally agree my dude
"Cause you gotta vent" that was more for the ladies 🤣
My parents drilled the college crap into me I grew secular. And my husbands family very sincere Christian and told and thought him to built skills. We and reaping the benefits of their wisdom. This is amazing advice!
My husband and I got married at 20 & 21. He has a trade and I went to trade school. So, I have some school debt. We bought our first home a year later. Im a stay at home homeschool mama. We had our kids at 23&25. We live in central California. I learned a lot of skills doing direct sales (stopped) and now I'm working on building my brand and discipling other women❤ My husband loves what he does. This next year he is starting his own business. We are both very entrepreneurial!
Tell em bruh! People always gossiping in the name of venting.
Was about to go to school in Nebraska to play ball on scholarship but decided i didn't want to enter that environment as a newborn Christian because i know myself and my past issues one of the biggest being sexual sin, lust ect. So ended getting a job , making 9 an hour to start. I was a student my whole life so no resume, but i had a desire to marry and provide for my lady.. prayer prayer and application and within 2 years i was making around 20 an hour...but the early stages of marraige most arguements were about money and security that it brings.
Very wise advice for young people! Thank you for sharing
I’m 32 and haven’t done much dating within the last couple years. moved to a new city alone and been with the Lord a lot. I’ve been pruned, gone through a lot of healing and still the journey continues. Sometimes (could be my own stuff) I feel when watching videos on singles it’s as if there always more work to be done to be “ready for marriage” though this is Sound advice and I know much was geared toward the men. Sometimes I feel I have to be darn near perfect and have everything perfectly aligned before being ready to be married. There really is no formula. I’ll still stay encouraged that one day it will happen for me 💕😊 great practical wisdom here though for sure.
Thats dope that you know “GodlyDating101” I look forward to watching that video
Awesome advice. I watched the previous video on dating right before I got to this one. Watching from South Africa. I'm currently in a season of self reflection and drawing nearer to God, so not keen on being married now, perhaps in the future, as He wills (whether married or not). This video came at the right time. Affirmed a lot, felt convicted at times as well.
I'm convinced what greatly attributes to me being single is the church I attend, as it is small and mostly attended by elderly folk.
It would be great if you could do a video on when to leave the church. It's a huge multifactorial topic, but I'd love to hear your thoughts about it.
Keep up the great work bro. God bless you.
We need to hear from more people like you. Well done.
Eye opening and convicting 🥺🙌
Your message is truly a blessing 🙏🏾 I needed to hear this. There are questions that you said that I never asked myself until now. Thank you and God bless🙏🏾❤
Totally relate to his dating decision making. Been dating for 2 years and this year am choosing to work on myself and focus on my own personal and spiritual growth to be a healthier person for myself instead of doing things that I used to which was a very worldly perspective that I let myself hold onto. Obedience and community with God is worth it, not East always but so worth it instead looking to the status quo about relationships.
311 likes 0 dislikes...you must be doing something great! Bless up
Big up
I’m 19, and trying to set myself straight before involving someone else in this, but I’d encourage the rest of y’all to go watch Ben Stuart’s “single, dating, engaged, married” series on a biblical guide to each season in life.
Thanks a lot man😞✌🏽
Really helped me✌🏽
OMG I so needed this and I didn’t even know it!!! I am going to start with the one year challenge today! I am a divorced and single mom in my early 30s. I have been single (but stupid) for the last 5 years, wondering why I can’t have a great relationships.. it’s all starting with me, and what I was doing before was just circling around the same DAMN mountain!! Thank you for this!!!🙏🙏🙏 it seriously blessed me today!!
Yes, to biblical counseling, one-on-one counseling and group therapy. Yes, to working out past traumas and healing! Yes, to repentance! Yes, to being debt free!
Amen Brother 😊. Fire 🔥 advise for everyone.
"God ain't got no grandchildren." YESS 😂😂
This video just blessed me more than you know! Thank you!!
I'm 40 and single. I've dated only a couple of times and realized that I am not happy with that lifestyle. I am stuck in my own ways. I am still a virgin and don't really care if that ever changes.
23 & single like some others in the comment section. A lot of my friends from Christian university got engaged this year and it’s definitely easy to compare and feel discouraged, but I’m challenged to look inward and take some time to work on the things you mentioned. I think missing a lot of face to face contact and church hugs makes the loneliness feel more real & dating feel like it could help but there are tons of other relationships and things to invest in right now. Great conversation and questions to ask ourselves👌🏾 looking out for us young folk 😂
Ruslan... way to go! Great info forwarding to my grandson. Jo
Best thing I have heard on the subject from Christian perspective to today's young believers! Summarizes all the salient issues with answers for sincere Disciples!!!
Preach 🔥
You are speaking truth Ruslan.
I feel you on the college point. That being said, I don't know how practical it is for certain professions. Not everyone is a creative or wants to work with their hands. And for the jobs that don’t fit in these categories, it’s incumbent on companies to not require post-sec education in order to get those jobs. That’s the only way this cycle can break.
One could alternatively work for a bit and go to school later in life once they’ve saved. This would allow for one to be married earlier. It’s tough all around cause we’re trained to enter post-sec once we leave high school, rather than wait and be a mature student. Stuff to ponder
I'm 21 and single and I've never officially dated but I've had a lot of friends that are girls that I exclusively hung out with and I ended up liking them and I made it up in my head that we we're pretty much dating which was really dangerous cause after I told them I like them and they didn't like me back it ruined the relationship and it kinda destroyed my confidence to the point where I was struggling with lust and I couldn't and still can't really even tell when a girl likes me.
Right now I'm just focusing on me, trying to build, save so that I can be ready, cause I realised that I'm no where near ready to be in a relationship.
I'm still in school, I'm on good momentum towards my chosen career and I know God wants to use me in this time and so God has to be my main and only focus right now.
There is a Christian girl that I'm a little interested in but I'm taking it super slow and putting it on the backburner cause I know I'm not ready.
I feel you, bro. God bless!
Sisters: let’s learn how to home-cook!!! That’s my 2021 goal 👩🏻🍳
great goal. and usually much healthier
Cheaper too!
This good bro. I haven't watched part 1. I will.
32 staying strong
@Ruslan... thank you brother for talking about this... you can get to the altar in purity. Were we 100% perfect... by no means but my wife and I did it. We shared our very first kiss at the altar as well. I was a virgin and she was not but we made a decision of not just establishing boundaries but having real godly accountability. We love this topic and it’s our heart desire to share His heart for Godly relationships on our channel and in our books! Thanks again bro... you are doing a fantastic job with your channel! God Bless ~ Damien and Kenady
One thing is absolutely undeniable, the Bible (Matthew 5:27-32) clearly states that any sex before marriage, lustful thoughts and divorce (except for the cause of fornication - Matthew 5:32) are adultery/sin
Thank you @Ruslan, I am 36 and came to the lord finally, and started to grow in him and searching for a Godly wife and I needed to hear this to calm my spirit!
Void Bachman and Timothy Keller have some very interesting ideas about dating and marriage that anyone with wants to learn more about biblical relationships should hear.
Fair warning, Vodi is fairly fundamental when it comes to he views in dating but regardless of if you disagree with him on some things he does an amazing job explaining biblical manhood and womanhood which single and married people can all learn lots from. Timothy Keller has a whole sermon series of marriage which I’m currently going through.
Good word brother!!!
I didn’t date and was abstinent until marriage at almost 32. Based on both my mistakes (yes there was still room for mistakes) and the things I’m sure I got right, I second all of this. Very good advice!
This was helpful. Thank you. 🙂
This was some hard truth, but it was needed!
This video really helps me bro, thanks
This really touched my heart, and came at the perfect time. Thanks for sharing your heart and wisdom. Going to be implementing it in my life
Yoooooo this is freakin gold! I’ve been trying to tell the young adults at my church this! I’m 29 I make 4K take home and I still won’t date cuz I know I have areas in my life I need to work on before I bring a woman into my life for marriage. My rule is I won’t date until I’m ready for marriage that means financially and spiritually. Listen single ppl
Majority of women are vulnerable in dating and won't admit it but I will say marriage is the purpose of dating for me. I personally don't date around its freaky and risky. There is too much pressure yet I recognize I am partially responsible to meet a man of God. Before Christ I had a few boyfriends and after Christ one serious relationship and it was the best thing that NEVER happened lol. It's not easy being single and desiring marriage. It's not easy especially during covid. It's easy to fall in the trap of lies thinking a person completes you when the truth is God is the only one who completes a person. In my 30's and working on trusting the Lord and his timing 🙏😫😜
On point 🙌🏾
This is wise advice....I’m 56 and surely did not have conversations like this when I was young. I will say this though, there are no guarantees. Life happens and one can “do everything right” and still it not end well or how you imagined. I married at 22, husband was 22 as well. He was a pastor. 3 kids and 30 years later divorced. Never saw it coming. Still God is good.
31 and single, enjoying life in the Lord 😊. Every stage comes with it’s own challenges. The grass is not necessarily greener on the other side, so just enjoy the journey. I am patiently waiting (okay, sometimes I get frustrated but overall I am patient 😂), and I believe I know overall what I am looking for in my future spouse. I would have LOVED to be married with kids by now but hey, things did not go that way. I am still blessed. Whether I marry or not, it’s okay. God’s got my back. God gives His grace. Yes, pray for me and for all christian singles to be content (nothing is ever easy whether married or single at any stage and everything comes with its own challenges). No debt, own my apt, have great friends, family, and church family....whoa! I sure am blessed lol. Have a nice job and working on becoming an entrepreneur...whoa! (No, not gloating....it’s just that it’s so tempting to focus on what we don’t have and miss out on what we do have). Single person, you are also blessed. Longing for marriage is not bad....we just have to be careful to not miss or neglect what we already have for that which we don’t have yet. With all that said.... boy, do I want to meet my husband lol. Lord help us all to live a life pleasing to him in all aspects of life. God bless you all!
I’m in the same boat girl, 30 and single, never in my life when I thought I wouldn’t have been married with kids right now but it is what it is. Good career as a nurse, I know that, and a good support system. Sometimes I wonder why I haven’t been snatched up yet and why everybody I’ve met seems to be wishy-washy about being serious but it is what it is, if it happens it’ll happen and if it doesn’t it doesn’t. I’m whole either way and my life is useful and matters either way. Blessings to you girl and thanks for sharing ♥️
Thank you very much brother for the advice and for making this video. I really appreciate you.
You have no idea what you just did to me and it's really the start of new journey.
With the help and grace of Jesus Christ, amazing and wonderful things will happen.
this was for ME! Thank you!
18, recent HS grad, to keep it a buck these streets issss tufffff! 😔
Thank you Brother Ruslan