Why Women Become Cold & Unaffectionate
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- Опубліковано 15 вер 2024
- Coach Corey Wayne discusses an email from a viewer who has been married for 15 years with 3 young boys. His beautiful wife has become cold, hard and distant. She is getting into a lot of new feministic friends, books and organizations. I tell him the real reason why she's come to be this way.
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Don't over-think it. You have what you see: If she's not showing affection to you, she doesn't have any for you.
This seems to be the biggest problem for married men. It's not just about the sex it's the affection. You cannot convince or coerce someone to be affectionate it has to come naturally. When it doesn't men go elsewhere to find it.
Exactly this. Bravo 👏🏼
Life is short and although we, as men, love and adore our partners until the end of the earth...if it isn’t working out anymore AND we’ve communicated our feelings towards this but just end up getting shut down, why stay? For honour? Life is too short to stay tied down to ONE person in a sea of millions that is making you unhappy.
Very true.
Facts
Open communication is the lifeblood of any healthy relationship, " Plans fail where there is no confidential talk".
- Ancient Proverb
This is true, if u dealing with a woman who has wishy washy behavior it can be hard.
Asking your partner to become affectionate seems to only push them apart further.
@@victorsaari1393 tha women sound like she has Mental Problems. And if so break up with her.
@@victorsaari1393 you deserve better man
@@victorsaari1393 I'm sorry man. I can relate to your situation and how you're feeling. I'm just sorry we have to go through this pain. You're not alone.
victor saari divorce her bro, she’s not good for you. You only hurting yourself in the long run if you allow this to continue.
I agree with Giovanni. She sounds like she was raised without affection. Unfortunately, if she hasn't learned by now to show affection she never will.
married for 15 years & fall out of interest with someone? really? but when the man seeks comfort elsewhere, man is the victim. sad day we are living in. didn't see that she would lose interest in the vows. I don't have to have sex all the time but dang. I have to beg for a hug & kiss from my wife.
Why don't you start talking your wife out on dates with no expectations and see what happens?
Why doesn't his wife recognize there is an intimacy problem and do something about it herself? I totally reject the idea that the husband is always at fault and that it is up to him to figure out what is wrong and fix it. There is something terribly wrong with a wife who 1) doesn't recognize her husband is unhappy and 2) accepts zero responsibility for his unhappiness. What is it that is wrong with such a wife you ask? Malignant narcissism. That is what is wrong with virtually ALL American women.
You're not listening to her.
Red Car bullshit. Women withdraw when a man she loves is either distant, cold, emotionally abusive, dismissive or is kinder o all the other women around him than he is to his wife.
It's a sin for a man to have an affair. It is also a sin for a wife to withhold sex to a good husband. Some women's sex drive falls off after 35. They enjoy sex but could live forever without it and only give it to be nice. They enjoy it once they start but it will be a fight next time. You need to have a very clear conversation about this. You also need to date her every week.
If your woman is not wanting sex or feels emotionally detached one day, it doesn’t mean the man wasn’t there for her or did anything wrong. My wife had depression, the death of her sister, moving to a new house in the country away from her friends, 2 kids, hit 40 and had a midlife crisis. That’s a lot on a woman’s plate. I tried to support her in anyway possible and she one day didn’t want to be married anymore. Her and I are adults and we’re not going to blame each other for the way things are. Sometimes one day a girl doesn’t have the emotional connection with her man anymore and that’s not uncommon.
Yes it sucks but I do understand and I want her to find happiness. As a man I have to accept her decision, help her find her way and take the good with the bad. At the end of the day she’s the mother of my kids and I want what’s best for everyone.
Let’s be completely honest, if she pushes the man she claims to love away, she no longer desires you. I’ve been with the same woman for six years and when I try to touch her, she always pushes me away, slaps my hand away or pushes herself away. It’s the strangest relationship I have ever been in. I never experienced anything like it. Forget her being tender, feminine or gentle. I’m “loved” but at the same time, invisible. If I look for a new relationship, I will be considered a cheater but who am I cheating on? I’ve confined in friends and have come to the conclusion that there is no love. Perhaps as friends but nothing more.
Any update?
They "love" the man they are sexually attracted to,the 6'4 muscular attractive man,is a bitter pill to swallow but if you are an average guy she is with you because of your money and the things you buy her but she doesnt desire you sexually only 20% of men get "genuine sex" (the kind of sex most men want) but 80% of men get transactional sex meaning she sees it as a business transaction you buy her stuff buy her food and she gives you lame sex here and there just to keep you
Because you're acting beta and she's no longer attracted to you. You need to establish alpha and put her in her place.
Harvey Lewis Not true. Women are the same all over the world. Only difference is the woman that are from a “developed” vs “developing” country. When the women are reliant on a man, then she will chase him... BL - the “Feminist” agenda in USA has ruined the hierarchy of the family & thus the high divorce rate. You can find a foreign woman, but make sure she isn’t or doesn’t become Americanized. Trust me on this, I’ve been all over the world & been in many international relationships. Currently live in Japan, but near military bases where the women have become Americanized.
Man this shit is accurate as fuck lol.. It’s annoying and gets very tiresome. We get married to be able to have that affection with 1 person lol and for that person to have it back. If she don’t want to be bothered she could be single in my opinion.
Just realized why everyone having so many difficulties with relationships how about stop taking things so seriously live life wild and free learn to have fun in the moment. Stop worrying about others and being self conscious learn to break free. Stop focusing on what you cannot control have a care free attitude towards everything. Don't force anything go with the flow be one with yourself.
WISPARTAN Mark 1 your exactly right but being a human being its hard sometimes to follow what you said maybe that is you but im not like that i wish im the same with you 🤣🤣🤣
That is not very wise
Do you know how many awful things can happen with that go with the flow attitude?
More like go for that rko
True
Insecure/cold women take any constructive comment as a threat. No point in reasoning unfortunately.
So the moral to the story is when they turn cold and distant. Go find someone else...life is too short for this bs !
I totally agree with you
in fact doing so may wake them up, more women stay with men that cheat on them, and the opposite is also true, women don't stay with their men once they cheat on them, it becomes a silent value statement, "... you aren't giving me what I need so I'll get it from someone else better than you", a man cheats on a woman, woman questions her value, "I'm not sexy enough, I'm not physically attractive enough, I'm not young enough, I'm not good enough, etc. etc.", a woman cheats on a man, he questions his value, "I'm not sexy enough, I'm not physically attractive enough, I'm not young enough, I'm not good enough, I don't make enough money, etc. etc." It's pathetic, you have to treat the other person like shit from time to time just to keep them in line and solidify your value in their eyes, if you're too complacent, too nice, do everything they ask, they get bored of you, you have to be an asshole. Marriage vows are just for the wedding video, they hold no other value other than a nice sound bite.
Yeah, you can find someone else... or you can find *her* again. She's already there. Regardless of what horseshit feminism tries to proselytize -- men lead their women. Women follow their men. Emotionally. If she's gone cold and distant it's usually because he's giving her nothing to which she can emotionally respond. It's not rocket science. Don't argue, whine, or complain - LEAD her... back to the basics... Hang out, have fun, hook up -- especially when things begin to fall into routines. You gotta break that shit up.
@@robc1765 its not gonna wake her because if shes not affectionate it means you fucked up and it turned her off duh.
@@ritagomes9186 read what I wrote instead of spouting off on shit you know nothing about. Women will often take back men that have cheated on them, Women will not often go back to men they have cheated on - there is a reason for this dynamic, if you're not smart enough to understand this just say so but don't pretend to know any about this, your response shows you're ignorant - now go be stupid somewhere else, I'm not going to continue wasting my time on you.
Gave up on my man constantly cheating and being disrespectful made me feel like he didn’t want me
I wonder why brother
Are you still alive?
"Rate me"???,😅😅😅 I'd rather not go down that route.
I've been married 48 years. You don't know WTF you're talking about. My mother was cold. One day, when I was about 50, I realized I couldn't remember a single time in my childhood that she hugged me or told me she loved me. Then I realized I had married a woman just like her.
Bullshit. Sometimes people just want novelty and lose interest. That's not anyone's fault. Its both partners responsibility to value the relationship, not just the guys.
💯💯
Monogamy SUCKS! Married for 17 years and so over it. I’ve tried and tried and tried to make it work, but I’m the only one trying. She is perfectly happy being a cold fish, sitting around all day playing mobile games, and feeling sorry for herself. 17 years and she still can’t get a regular full time job. I’m tired of it. She said I need to initiate affection “it’s the man’s job, women aren’t sexual” but I just don’t feel it anymore. I’m tired of everything being my job and I’m tired of her weird sexual hangups. Other women approach me all the time and I’m trying to be faithful but it’s getting difficult. Why am I torturing myself in this relationship when I know I could be happier with someone else? Simple answer: Divorce is too expensive
Worth it. Trust me. Its only money.
Dude.... When she feels happy/content in the relationship, she will do flips to do what you want. I've been pushed to get a FT job, too, but that's not important to us women. We want to be provided for. We want to tend to the household. To be the gatekeepers to the home/family. We want to be the fun and the love of the home. We want to be there when our husbands get home so that they can relax and we can give them a good time. YET, it's virtually impossible for us to be this when a man constantly begs for something that we can't give. You think that her working outside of the house will make her try harder? No. That'll only make HER too exhausted to make any effort at all, because at the end of the day, her day doesn't end when she comes home. She's still got to cook, clean, grocery shop, tend to the kids, homework with the kids, and more. You think her hearing day after day that you're the only one trying and that she's doing nothing will encourage her to try? Dude, you're going about it all wrong. Allow her to be in her feminine energy. Stop complaining to her. Find something to cherish about her. Show HER you love her. Love is a verb. Act on it. Act on it based on what SHE needs, not how you would want it given to you. Men and women are different and have different needs. You show love by working and providing, but that doesn't mean that's the way she shows love. For her, she would show love by BEING. Simply being. Being a pleasant presence. A relaxing force. A calm. Let her be that. She can't be it if she's constantly trying to please her boss, her husband, her kids, her parents, her friends, and other peers. All that matters to her is to please you, but she can't please you if all she's hearing is that she's not trying hard enough. THAT is what pushes us away. And believe me, she probably gets looks of adoration from other men and yet stays faithful. Miserable, but faithful. Be the man she wants to be rolling around with so that she isn't tempted by someone (some many) else.
Run buddy run. Run
Your health comes first before anything! Please get a divorce even though it’s expensive, it will be worth it!
Women loose interest because they get tired of repeating a routine and always trying to help the man stop being childish
women are the ones who expect a fairytale life so tell me again whos childish
Husbands lose interest because they get tired of repeating a routine and always trying to help their wives grow up. See how that works.
TheOriginalMoc how in the world is wanting to maintain intimacy and romance childish .. childish is not putting effort in and expecting that someone will still want to be there with and for you forever ..
Coming from a person who probably throws temper tantrums as an adult to get her way
Bless you... this is EXACTLY what i make a transparent attempt to share with my husband... but to him he just thinks im nagging. Im almost very much over trying make emotional connections with him. Im gonna start "doing ME".
I've been doing me for a while now because she's not going to anytime soon
I am not married.. so when I am not treated the way I should I break up and date other single women and usually they come back.. but by then I’ve found someone hotter
I take an R+ approach using the 5 love languages vocab:. I tell her that I thrive on words of affirmation, touch and quality time. And I tried every day to up my game
I was doomed to be with someone that was lost so one day she decided to leave because she didn't wanna hurt me. This doesn't fucking makes sense after i gave her everything she wanted and i know that i didn't ignore her enough
You never give a women everything that they want. Treat her like a queen and you’ll be treated like a peasant.
I myself didn’t experience affection as a child. Now as a mother is hard for me to hug and kiss my children often. It just doesn’t happen naturally. I mostly forced myself to do it. It is hard to become affectionate is you never experience it. Is almost as if it is something that doesn’t exist in your mind.
I used to not be affectionate at all and hugs grossed me out, but I met a girl (a friend), and she just kept hugging me so I've learned because of her how to be affectionnate. We used to hug a lot and people thought we were lesbians, but now we don't talk anymore and it's fine
@@thisisntallowed9560 people and their messed up heads
Being affectionate is something you can learn and practice. You’re just lazy to learn and practice it
I get it but men shouldn’t date or marry women like this. It’s not worth the time because you can’t fix that. Too many people stupidly think that people can change. You shouldn’t expect your partner to change. Not fair to them or you. Ask me how I know.
@@KryptonKr. No
They are emotionally damaged and no man in their right mind wants that burden
Stoic is not a an attractive feature in women. If she’s not showing affection to you you probably weren’t her first choice
To ignore someone is the complete opposite of loving them. That's the bottom line. If someone yhinks that is in any way constructi e or a positive thing to do....When the resentment builds from who you chose to ignore, bleme you foolish self. To torture someone and emotionally abandon them is the sign of a heartless low life and will bring a bitter time ahead for you. If it is someone you claimed to love- and you choose to ignore them , you have only proven yourself a liar !
No one is served with good will by ignoring. A vindictive heart is a dark one.
$1000 for an hour phone call ?
Seriously 😳
When your wife of 15 years is getting ready to leave you and the sky is falling for you 1000 dollars seems like nothing to fix that lol
I am not an affectionate and neither is my husband. Sometimes (very rarely) I feel the need of feeling affection and when that happens it turns out an argument.
LuluWeeklyDIY Sounds like a relationship of convenience and no passion
What a great way to get into a fight.
Blue Rabbit you win!
Bahaha.
Lmao
Me personally, I dislike with a burning passion, girls are unaffectionate, and don't like to kiss. That automatically turns me off and tells me that the girl is dry, robotic, boring, and empty personality.
Or maybe she is not a prostitute, who would kiss any and every guy
@@DiamondsRexpensive not saying she should be a prostitute. Just simply saying, she shouldn't have a dry personality.
@@kevinkarenkljyan9464 just because some people are not so affectionate and don't like to be touchy all the time doesn't mean they have a boring personality dude these are two separate things
@@mnokers6884 If they're not touchy all the time, then they fear they fear invading personal space. Not when it comes to me, me personally I do not mind being touched/kissed/hugged.
@@kevinkarenkljyan9464 good for you but not all people like that
You should do a cover of Nirvana's "Rape Me" but instead you'd be singing "Rate Me" instead.
Might not be P.C. ?? Just guessing...
Woman gets cold and unaffectionate simply because she knows that the man is not being fair or cheating so instead of spending time thinking and exerting effort for the man better to spend energy to something more important.
Jeremiah Johnson: Y'ever get lonesome?
Bear Claw Chris Lapp: Fer what?
Jeremiah Johnson: Woman?
Bear Claw Chris Lapp: Full time night woman? I never could find no tracks on a woman's heart. I packed me a squaw for ten year, Pilgrim. Cheyenne, she were, and the meanest bitch that ever balled for beads. I lodge-poled her at Deadwood Creek, and traded her for a Hawken gun. But don't get me wrong; I loves the womens, I surely do. But I swear, a woman's breast is the hardest rock that the Almighty ever made on this earth, and I can find no sign on it.
I saw JJ at the drive in with my parents..that musta been back in '72. The movie shaped my thinking and my strong will.
A woman gets cold when all volume of affection, attention and love were laid down. The line of patience and understanding were strongly held, embraced and maneuvered upon. For years of acting masculine, those times when stone- like perception was second to none. A woman is a composition of fabric and steel, fueled by reasons and firmed by emotion, giving all her being to her adored man. However, when these aspects aren't reciprocated, it becomes dry and fragile, developing a heart that becomes weary, gradually losing its capacity to propel. When unnurtured, this eventually breaks. The second time she tries to reach, it comes in a very conscious state, probably coming along in an emotionless state. Tired, drained and numb..
100%, this disaffection didn't happen overnight.
Thank you for this explanation.
Yeah, usually it is after the first baby when the wife has your future (balls, income, assets, etc.) securely in her grasp and you have no options.
I disagree with the idea that this is somehow the fault is the guys lack of effort. With married women I think its more about how she has the power. She already has the commitment that she needs so that if shes not feeling it anymore she can take you to court get half of your retirement and assets and get paid. Why would she feel like she had to do anything more? They do the love at first(sometimes way over the top) to hook men into making this foolish commitment. Once they have it then there is no longer a reason to have any concern whatsoever for his feelings regarding sex or affection. AKA if you dont like it leave.
Read the book.
Great Video Sir, I love the emphasis on courting and dating. I have been in a relationship for almost a month and this made me realize that I am slipping up as a man and bring a lot of weak energy into the relationship that is completely unnecessary.
Screw all that!!
My girlfriend has BPD traits, nothing works!!!!
I'm gooooonnnnneeee!!
It all makes sense. Thank you
I do not like your suggestions because if I get rated I’ll get a 0.
Man that shit it's happening to me and it's so frustrating 😥😥😥
Me too bro
Same
None of this makes sense to me.
Plain and simple....most likely, they met a new person girl/guy
Why do men do that ?? Why is it when women pull away from men emotional then they care ??
@J Luxe Because first we actually don't understand the real problem, let's say we are "distant" and then she gets upset and gives attention to another guy, then we actually want
to show her that we really care about her. We just didn't get it why she is doing it.
Great question.... when you find out tell me
I cared about my ex but she didn't even try to open up lol. Women always let wrong person in and then start judging others by their fucked up decisions they made in the past
@J Luxe - I know.
Surely it’s not a man’s job to make a woman happy. She should be able to get to this place on her own.
You need to understand yourself without asking, asking is makings matters worse
It seems the guys in this comment section have no sense of resonsiblity for their actions they all seem to think they haven't done anything to to provoke their partners to go cold on them no wonder you can't keep a woman interested lol.
When me and my wife disagrees about something she sometimes becomes cold, and when I ask her about it she says its nothing. I proceed to try and show her I love her by hugging, kissing, thickling and joking with her to try change her mood and tell me whats wrong but she doesn't tell me. Its hard to keep the mood up when your the one who has to cheer her up all the time. How would you handle this? She can never just agree we got different opinions and then continue to be happy. She gets cold and doesn't want to talk...cant communicate when she says nothing is wrong and I cant get it out of her....Once she said something offensive to me, I told her she hurt me. She didn't want to communicate after that, I told her after a while that I will go sleep at my parents, she stopped me physicaly and said sorry and started crying. Is this what I need to to everytime? How should you handle situations like this?
Aztral1337 marital therapist and cognitive behaviour therapy ♥️
She is trying to control you and punish you for being disobedient.
She needs therapy as something is wrong
my girlfriend only becomes cold when she gets her period. I have tried to be affectionate and take her out to get her mind off things but it doesnt rly work. 1 week of the month we really got it bad but 3 weeks are usually fantastic. I have read your book couple times but i'm still not sure what else to do for that one week.
GeneralChild yes they become demons at least 1 week a month. It's a nightmare
Dude this comment answered something I've been trying to figure out. Glad to know some women act this way on their period.
Watch_General just rub her feet ffs
just one week of the month? consider yourself lucky
Be content, my wife act like this 3 weeks out of the month and semi-great full and happy 1. She’s poisoned with a “victim” mindset and is unable to trust any man because her father was not around and her step fathers were very abusive while her pos mother allowed it and even encouraged it by always running off on the weekends leaving her 3 daughters from different dads with them cheating with another man or the next stepfather. Now I am punished for 20 years for being the husband and father to our 2 girls that she never had? How fu**ed up is that? If I leave or had left then my daughters would have learned only her behaviors, so I’ve stayed with her and sacrificed....I’m married but have no wife, no friendship, no lover, no anything but someone to resent.
It always comes down to will. We all have deficiencies.
Because they are sociopaths.
LOL! Tell her she was a 1 and see how much affection she will withhold from you!
I dated a woman for quite a while. And then she got unaffectionate bitchy, distant and her EX Boyfriend showed back up and that was the end of that.
We even go on a date and after 3 days she became cold and distant to me
"Ive exhibited alpha male traits" said no alpha ever.
If your wife doesn’t show you affection anymore , it’s most likely game over .. move on
Im going through the same shit with my wife. I love her dearly and she swears she loves me but is still distant i have to initiate hugs and stuff. She is on instagram locked on private and wont let anyone she knows that can tell me anything in to look at page. She never leaves the house and if she does its not without our daugter so im not worried about cheating. There is emotional cheating though and i feel.she is caping on instagram for lonely other men to get attention. Taking selfies everyday and posting them. I think shes looking for attention ghat she feels im not giving her
I guess you took her for granted
Just remember,sometimes you do everything right and are a great compassionate loving caring man.Sometimes this sort of thing can be deep inside a woman brought about by their screwed up childhood.They don't know how to commit,even if they find the perfect man.They almost always throw the mans love back in his face.
Many women have a man ready on unsocial media until the day they are single.
Lol.....please make a pill for us to give our men. Har har cuz even sharing video links and explaining verbatim, it still doesn’t help. Even when I ask mine specifically to deal with a household detail or similar, it still doesn’t happen. I’m so far in my masculine I may as well grow a beard.
Corey why tf is a girl is cold to me its cool but if i dont respond to a fucking message i get blocked
how do i email him ?i see no contact info to send Corey a email
Thankyou...
I became cold and distant to my now ex-husband because he was with me. I gave him space, but I think 22 yrs. is long enough.
Ann Harrison so you became cold because he spent time with you
22 years is not long enough.
It's because you're not listening to her!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nothing you broads say makes any damn sense anyway. You act the opposite of what you claim to want.
Stacey, that is bull in most cases. if a man gives women a ton of attention, then he is too clingy and if he does not give her enough attention then he is not listening to her. With women, it is impossible to give them EXACTLY what they want, EXACTLY when they want it. This is just an excuse women use to allow them to divert responsibility for their shitty behavior onto the men they are neglecting.
when the relationship fails, it's usually both their faults for whatever reason. get on the same page or pack it up. we are all damaged, but women take the brunt of it. I'm not an affectionate person by nature, and I wasn't babied in my childhood, and I'm glad, because sometimes women become so weak and sensitive, and the world is a cruel place.
Bullshit. Quit rocking that cold heart you got.
Hahah excuses ,....
You should rename your self to "Coach Awesome". As you are in my opinion
because they got a side piece and they think the grass is greener because honeymoon phase / new toy.
Take my wife for exemple.. and keep it..
So true.
Lol 😆 of you have never been through this phase you will never understand!! It’s like me trying to tell a women what a women goes Through while giving birth to a child,, it just cant be,, my phsycatrist is way younger then I and she tries to tell me how to deal and cope with PTSD and what and how I should be feeling and what I shouldn’t be feeling,,, if she has never suffered from Panic attacks or anxiety herself!! It’s just not possible to know from reading a book in med school,,,
Nothing but true
Maybe it’s time for a trade-in 🧐, just kidding
Mostly on the money
Trying to understand why I no longer love my husband and just loves him as a brother.
Bless Parco Because you love your brother in a sexual way you deviant you
Damn this comment is sad af
Don't worry, most women are just like you.
Red Car and most men have your charm....
Because he’s a beta and doesn’t put you in your place and buss your back up til you fall asleep
Is Corey stoned?
Its always another guy in the picture
F@cking ABSOLUTELY
3:53