I dislike this saying and the saying "Hes just not that into you" both of which make it sound like its the person getting heartbroken's fault for not being good enough. In truth, if he doesnt want you, then you sure as hell shouldn't want him.
I found another example is when he says "I'm sorry you feel that way" after you have told him that something he said/did has hurt you. He never tries to find out exactly what happened, or how it hurt you. He is never really SORRY for what he did, just how you PERCEIVED it!!!! SO lazy and immature of ANY man!!!
I noticed that with my ex, you explain it well. He would also say, “I’m sorry if I made you feel some type of way.” Whatchu mean ‘if’? No if’s about it, fool. You don’t believe me?
This just happened to me with my ex. Still trying to recover now...He never took accountability for nothing that he did! He would say stuff like “what did I do to you?” Or “That’s not hurt youre feeling” or “you let me hurt you” whenever I told him that he hurt me...no apology! Then silent treatment smh..The love was never real...😔 Protect your heart at all cost and when somebody tell you who they are BELIEVE THEM the first time!!!!!!!
As a woman, our intuition kicks in when dating no matter what age we are, we ignore it then wind up getting hurt. Hearing from a man how men work, when he's good or bad for you makes sense and helps put dating into perspective. It's all about self worth. Thank you for being honest.
Spot on! Still crafting in their 50’s. Should be too old to be playing games, or so you would think. He acts like he’s cool with me expressing my opinion about a concern then goes ghost for days after, aka silent punishment. It’s not punishment though, it’s space that works to your advantage to analyze the toxic bullshit you’re dealing with. Block and run! 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️
I work with women coming out of abuse, and what he’s saying is 100% accurate. Love your videos Derrick! Remember, if you have to hold someone accountable for a mistake, that means they got a second chance with you. If they’re not grateful for the gift of being held accountable instead of you leaving right away, then leave and let them learn the hard way. They chose it, not you at that point.
Just wanted to say.....you helped me identify that my abusive ex was a narc and I listened to your videos constantly during my divorce. I used to even play your videos about cheating right in front of him when he would want to argue or verbally abuse. It usually made him walk away. You also helped me realize what type of man I needed and wanted in the future. I can't believe I actually found one....who 'checks all the boxes'. We've been together for over a year now and I have faith in him. Something I never thought I could do, trust, after being cheated on, gaslit, verbally and physically abused. I trust now however. I have yet to regret it. I used your videos to educate myself about certain behaviours and to learn what I need and what boundaries to be firm about. Anyway, just wanted to say thank you.
You are so on point, I'm still recovering from my last relationship. He stayed trying to worm his way out of accountability by turning the table on my flaws which had nothing ever to do with the situation🤦. I thank the Lord for putting you in my life with your words of wisdom to help me and many other people out of these none productive relationship. You are appreciated, Keep on keeping on.
As I get older, there is just certain things I do not tolerate. Having to explain things like taking accountability to grown ass adults is something im not ever again.. I finally learned the art of walking away
The famous Narc line.....Oh I'm not going to "Argue" with you....😳....since when did "Open communication of your Truth" become the word "Argue"?????🤔🤯😅
Derrick actions remind me of the Dave Chappelle skit. When the racist, blind black man was racist to black ppl but didn’t know he was black and racist to himself.
My Narcissistic, soon to be ex husband, blamed me for everything. And when I say everything....I mean EVERYTHING! He literally blamed me for things that happened BEFORE I even met him!! Lmfao I was like, " Damn....I gotta give you credit for your originality." I swear I don't know how I'm still sane. Smh
I did meet someone like that who never wanted to take responsibility and accountability, you described him so well ...... the good thing is he is not longer in my life ... someone else will have to deal with the narcissist looser !
Just walked away from a two year relationship. His actions lately have been very disrespectful. Shows all the signs of having another person involved in his life. Everything was good up until then. He calls and text. I just ignore him.
Sis if you think he’s cheating HE IS. I just got out of a two year relationship too. He was changing and stopped texting and calling. He said he was busy. Then I find out there was another female involved. It’s hard leaving someone you planned your life with but it’s not worth staying
Yea I blocked him on everything and surprisingly I feel a lot better. It’s a lot of people in this world and most have better vibes so just have fun meeting new ppl and make sure your ex cannot contact you. Cuz when you know they can contact you but they choose not to it hurts even more and you’re sitting there waiting for them to do something. Don’t even give them that
This video came right on time! I'm dealing with this right now! The person was disrespectful towards me and they won't take accountability for what they've said and done! Thank your for posting this!
I have seen so many women suffer from accepting the vague replies to questions that they genuinely wanted an answer to. A person who values you will never leave you wondering where you stand with them and what they mean. Our words have power. Vague answers are just a way to dodge answering the question altogether. You don't need to stick around and see if things improve, get yo ass away from him!
When a guy dismisse your feelings or you tell him something that he's doing you dont like what he's doing and he starts acting vague just leave him alone ,guys like this are gaslighting you to make you feel like your wrong for addressing him its manipulation so they can avoid admitting that they are wrong , so they can reverse it on you, I had two guys that use to do this to me so I reverse it on them and stop talking to them I cut them out my life.
Glad to see you back. You were missed. Mine backpedaled right out of it. He may of convinced himself but he did not fool me. He threw it back to me after a little while.
Yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup!! Experienced every single one of these in my last relationship, and towards the end I really thought I was the crazy one for feeling the way I did! What Derrick said in this video helped confirm my feelings and I feel PROUD AND HAPPY that I left!!
Good for you! You are important and what you do and how you feel matters, don't let anyone tell you different. Always love you ok. And just keep on moving forward with your new-found epiphany! Be well. 🙂
Coming from an extremely toxic relationship and being able to look back, I realize that you always speaking straight facts!!! Watching your videos really make it apparent why I kept trying to hold on to that particular relationship for so long. Deceit doesn't just come in one form. Thank you for all your insight!!
I ended and deleted after I kept explaining and him ignoring my feelings or just not being consistent, I told him your not the man for me and theres no excuse for your actions.
Oooo Derrick the last one was the constant. Vague and/or would stop communication for a day or two and then hit me up like nothing ever happened... I was a broken ass shell of a woman for a long time. I feel like these types of relationships are the hardest to heal from. Thank you for sharing your wisdom ❤️
I just got through dealing with this. Whenever I didn’t do what he wanted or give into him , he’d cut off communication for 2-3 days. If I missed a phone call, he wouldn’t answer when I called back.
Man I feel so naive. This has happened with all of my relationships. I usually noticed it, it felt off. But I didn't have the words to articulate it, or the self worth to put in better boundaries. I'm excited for the day that all this knowledge is engrained in me :)
After you catch him in 3 ppl’s DM. Then he gets mad about ppl liking my pictures. And, now I’m sleeping with them. 😒🤔🙄. This is over, bye boy. And now he’s on FB saying I’m not loyal. Blocked✌🏾🖕🏾
That reminds me of a guy I was seeing. The alarm on his phone went off and I was irritated with him because he wouldn’t get up and turn it off . I turned it off, went to my class and then he text me later acting defensive. Turns out his ex girlfriend sent him a photo and he thought I saw it. Then he accused me of going through his phone. The man basically told on himself and then tried to deflect by accusing me of invading his privacy. I stopped seeing him. The whole situation was just nonsense to me.
Oh yeah as if someone liking your picture means that you are intimate by that definition I am having sex with all of my female friends ...and I am straight 😂😂😂
I took 9 1/2 years of this abuse. Now I’m stuck for life to him bc we have children. The knit picking after you hold him accountable ish is real. Every single time my feelings never were validated and flipped to me. I wish I knew this years ago.
Ladies do better with your sons cause most moms raise these types of grown boys...we need men. Please instill consciousness, empathy and compassion. Same for your daughters so they don't act like this when they do find the right men.
I'm trying with my 18 year old son. Hopefully we got there. He's been great so far - no drinking, no smoking, no drugs, no cheating...Just studying and working hard, saving, investing in stocks and strictly one girlfriend.
They always dismiss your feelings.. and never takes, and dodges accountability and then he says , I can’t give you what you deserve and need.. that’s the easy out clause...
everytime i hear you speak i cant believe i truly fell for toxic ppl like this...its sad that i had to question myself if something is wrong with me , my own sanity because of how a person is and makes u feel guilt.. it took this type of person for me to look into things like this & learn that these type of people are pretty much playing a role&its sad.. u gotta question ur every move before u make it because u dont wana seem "not good enough" in their eyes 😔
Preach D. Exactly what my ex constantly did to me. He would avoid accountability by always pointing the finger back at me saying, "I'm not Ms. Perfect" so he is justified for doing XYZ. ANd always on extremely small petty ass shit cause I never betrayed him like he betrayed ME.
My now ex HATED when I ask questions. He had a 2 question made up rule. He would end the conversation and proclaim that im interrogating him if I ask more questions. But HIM on the other hand ask me questions all day long.
Yes! I am going through this right now. Back n forth for an entire year. Even after the break up he doesn’t stop trying to manipulate. Thank you for your confirmation that I am doing the right thing by walking away.
This is so true. I’ve been through this & it’s hard to stand up to these guys, but in the end, I personally had to walk away from tough losses, but life goes on. It’s not worth being disrespected. New doors open up, and respect is out there.
I had the guy who used the tit for tat method or bringing up something we’ve already addressed just to prove or to say see you're not perfect either" he got on my last nerves!
Thankyou! I been knew he was gaslighting me all these years but you broke it down with the last one. I'm stay away from now on regardless of his 'promises' for the future 🤷🏾♀️
@@trilla7859 I agree. No one may be perfect, but I think ghe point D J is making is that a man can be perfect on paper, and still neglect a woman emotionally. Thats not ok, no matter how great he appears on paper. If something doesn't feel right, don't settle.
Your comment about specificity is absolutely correct. Bring up specific instances and watch his head spin when he can't actually refute any of it. It reminds me of how you should always ask open-ended questions (not yes/no) when you suspect someone is lying. They will literally try to get you to fill in the answer for them by being vague.
Hey Derrick you been on it lately..... I enjoy your videos and really appreciate them They help me out alot in my life...... Have a nice day and Stay safe
💯 I gave up 9 yrs of my life living with everything you said. I kept thinking he will change until the day I threw his ass out. It left me without trust and afraid to move on. But there was also abuse. To this day I don't know why I allowed so many yrs to be taken. I was blind to this narcissist first time I dealt with someone like that. I didn't see it coming or see what was right in front of me.
Accountability is very important. I won't have it no other way from no one! My drop off game is really good when it come to this kind of foolishness....something I have no time for and neither should anyone else that's listening to this video.
Thank you so much. These statements sadly I've experienced and really started questioning myself but you said one thing that will stay with me: Specificity creates Accountability. I asked for clarity all the time and was seen as too much and received vague responses or comments all the time. Thank you.
DJ gives good advice but it is mostly COMMON SENSE. In my 66 years on this planet, I have seen & learned, through personal experience & by paying attention to situations around me & trying to move closer to the truth of my own existence by self-examination & contemplation, the most significant trait of my & other women's existence; no matter how much we deny, we do see & recognize many of the red flags you speak about. But, we tend to overlook & ignore these signs because we are so eager, even desperate, to have a relationship. Women are aware when they are being ignored or mistreated or manipulated. We CHOOSE to close our eyes & hope for the fairytale. Seeing so many instances of ladies trying to force relationships, through pregnancies or emotional blackmail or other types of physical or emotional or monetary trickery, results in so much hurt, pain & hopelessness. We have to do better, we have to take accountability for our choices & accept responsibility for our outcomes. We must become adults & stop expecting men to read our minds. We must also stop acting as if men have magic powers to control our minds & make us do their bidding. We must act as women, not children.
Hello!! I just wanted to let you know I’m in a happy relationship now with a man who loves me because I took your advice. I stop giving the wrong man chances. I thought in certain situations I was humble enough to understand them, but they didn’t appreciate me not one bit. The man I’m with I know he is going to be the man I marry!! Much love!! Thank you!!!
Never let a man tell you twice that he don’t want you.
🗣 AMEN!!!
:(
Never let a man show me once Twice is too much my time😎 💯
I dislike this saying and the saying "Hes just not that into you" both of which make it sound like its the person getting heartbroken's fault for not being good enough. In truth, if he doesnt want you, then you sure as hell shouldn't want him.
That's true never want someone that don't want you
If he says "You're too good for me," believe him and walk away.
Yup I had to walk away✌🏽
💪💪💪💪🤡
I learned the hard way, you’re absolutely right.
Ugh my ex would constantly say this one. I wish I would have left sooner.
I learned this the very hard way!
I found another example is when he says "I'm sorry you feel that way" after you have told him that something he said/did has hurt you. He never tries to find out exactly what happened, or how it hurt you. He is never really SORRY for what he did, just how you PERCEIVED it!!!! SO lazy and immature of ANY man!!!
I noticed that with my ex, you explain it well. He would also say, “I’m sorry if I made you feel some type of way.” Whatchu mean ‘if’? No if’s about it, fool. You don’t believe me?
That's a good one.. Also if you tell him something he did hurt you, he says afterwards, " you hurt yourself" ......
Omg Lisa same thing in my last too
It's dismissive
@@Agrillot6 😄😄
Men like this dont want a woman telling them that they are wrong, so he's gonna make you feel like your the problem.
Man! I asked him to take accountability and he said he handled the situation just fine. Lol girlfriend is packing up!
You aint never lied.....
It is so cowardly that a men does that. Smdh🤦🏽
💯💯
Omg can’t like your comment enough
This just happened to me with my ex. Still trying to recover now...He never took accountability for nothing that he did! He would say stuff like “what did I do to you?” Or “That’s not hurt youre feeling” or “you let me hurt you” whenever I told him that he hurt me...no apology! Then silent treatment smh..The love was never real...😔 Protect your heart at all cost and when somebody tell you who they are BELIEVE THEM the first time!!!!!!!
You’re Beautiful and glad he is an ex 🥳
Dealing with the same thing 😑
@@TVeeTime thank you 🥺💕
ANYONE starts telling you how you feel? Run.
Silent treatment is cruelty, simple and plain.I understand. It profoundly hurts.
As a woman, our intuition kicks in when dating no matter what age we are, we ignore it then wind up getting hurt. Hearing from a man how men work, when he's good or bad for you makes sense and helps put dating into perspective. It's all about self worth. Thank you for being honest.
“Knit pick everything you do wrong after you hold him accountable” - 👏🏼
My ex husband for sure...
@@Msfruity44 mine too
Damn. I experienced this and didn't even realize it!!!]
Spot on! Still crafting in their 50’s. Should be too old to be playing games, or so you would think. He acts like he’s cool with me expressing my opinion about a concern then goes ghost for days after, aka silent punishment. It’s not punishment though, it’s space that works to your advantage to analyze the toxic bullshit you’re dealing with. Block and run! 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️
Lol right bye boy...Time for What God has for Destiny...
My ex is 51 and whew chile 😬 . The AUDACITY of it all lol...
This guy will be 58. Unreal!
Older men acting like young studs...They're getting worse.
If you do answer a ghosted man say who is this. When he answers say oh I thought you died. That is how you treat a ghost.
I work with women coming out of abuse, and what he’s saying is 100% accurate. Love your videos Derrick!
Remember, if you have to hold someone accountable for a mistake, that means they got a second chance with you. If they’re not grateful for the gift of being held accountable instead of you leaving right away, then leave and let them learn the hard way. They chose it, not you at that point.
Just wanted to say.....you helped me identify that my abusive ex was a narc and I listened to your videos constantly during my divorce. I used to even play your videos about cheating right in front of him when he would want to argue or verbally abuse. It usually made him walk away.
You also helped me realize what type of man I needed and wanted in the future. I can't believe I actually found one....who 'checks all the boxes'. We've been together for over a year now and I have faith in him. Something I never thought I could do, trust, after being cheated on, gaslit, verbally and physically abused. I trust now however. I have yet to regret it. I used your videos to educate myself about certain behaviours and to learn what I need and what boundaries to be firm about. Anyway, just wanted to say thank you.
So happy for you, wish you love and happiness 4 the future.
Yay! Happy you found a trusting and worthy counterpart ❤️
I relate to this 100% Derrick has helped me so much! I feel God is definitely using him*
Update?
7. Refers to himself in the third person.
You are so on point, I'm still recovering from my last relationship. He stayed trying to worm his way out of accountability by turning the table on my flaws which had nothing ever to do with the situation🤦. I thank the Lord for putting you in my life with your words of wisdom to help me and many other people out of these none productive relationship. You are appreciated, Keep on keeping on.
🙂
When he punishes you for holding him accountable 💥
Strings you along without specific deadlines 💥
Those points hit hard. Felt that.
"Specificity creates accountability"
- Derrick Jaxn
As I get older, there is just certain things I do not tolerate. Having to explain things like taking accountability to grown ass adults is something im not ever again.. I finally learned the art of walking away
Totally agree!!
The famous Narc line.....Oh I'm not going to "Argue" with you....😳....since when did "Open communication of your Truth" become the word "Argue"?????🤔🤯😅
" I'm sorry for whatever I done to you "... not how you apologize. Not taking accountability by stating exactly what you done that you are sorry for
Yes! I said “what exactly are you apologizing for?” No answer.
Derrick actions remind me of the Dave Chappelle skit. When the racist, blind black man was racist to black ppl but didn’t know he was black and racist to himself.
My Narcissistic, soon to be ex husband, blamed me for everything. And when I say everything....I mean EVERYTHING! He literally blamed me for things that happened BEFORE I even met him!! Lmfao I was like, " Damn....I gotta give you credit for your originality." I swear I don't know how I'm still sane. Smh
I did meet someone like that who never wanted to take responsibility and accountability, you described him so well ...... the good thing is he is not longer in my life ... someone else will have to deal with the narcissist looser !
Good for you! Just a waste of time.
Love it same here
Just walked away from a two year relationship. His actions lately have been very disrespectful. Shows all the signs of having another person involved in his life. Everything was good up until then. He calls and text. I just ignore him.
@@trilla7859 100 on both.
Me too
Sis if you think he’s cheating HE IS. I just got out of a two year relationship too. He was changing and stopped texting and calling. He said he was busy. Then I find out there was another female involved. It’s hard leaving someone you planned your life with but it’s not worth staying
@@najahnewton920 I'm focusing on me. And pray your doing the same. I'm going to let love find me next time around if any.
Yea I blocked him on everything and surprisingly I feel a lot better. It’s a lot of people in this world and most have better vibes so just have fun meeting new ppl and make sure your ex cannot contact you. Cuz when you know they can contact you but they choose not to it hurts even more and you’re sitting there waiting for them to do something. Don’t even give them that
It's called: Silence is Golden... Block and Delete... He never knew what hit him... Savagery🌟 How you doing😎
This video came right on time! I'm dealing with this right now! The person was disrespectful towards me and they won't take accountability for what they've said and done! Thank your for posting this!
If a man ever says he's "too good for you." BELIEVE HIM and leave.
Idk about any other ladies but these videos are SURE helping me to know what to look out for so that I can avoid UNNECESSARY heartache.
This sage advice goes for ALL types of relationships. Kudos.
It's True they dont wanna be accountable for actions and dont want to hear what is the problem and shutdown!!!50yrs old growup son!!!
Try 58 years old..smh. Life’s too short for the BS.
I have seen so many women suffer from accepting the vague replies to questions that they genuinely wanted an answer to. A person who values you will never leave you wondering where you stand with them and what they mean. Our words have power. Vague answers are just a way to dodge answering the question altogether. You don't need to stick around and see if things improve, get yo ass away from him!
I went threw everything you said with a person, everything you said is 100 percent right!
The guy I stopped talking to use to love saying “you don’t even know what I’m going through, did you ask how I was doing” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Lmao smh
When a guy dismisse your feelings or you tell him something that he's doing you dont like what he's doing and he starts acting vague just leave him alone ,guys like this are gaslighting you to make you feel like your wrong for addressing him its manipulation so they can avoid admitting that they are wrong , so they can reverse it on you, I had two guys that use to do this to me so I reverse it on them and stop talking to them I cut them out my life.
Same here smdh
Glad to see you back. You were missed. Mine backpedaled right out of it. He may of convinced himself but he did not fool me. He threw it back to me after a little while.
Yup, yup, yup, yup, yup, yup!! Experienced every single one of these in my last relationship, and towards the end I really thought I was the crazy one for feeling the way I did! What Derrick said in this video helped confirm my feelings and I feel PROUD AND HAPPY that I left!!
Never want someone that don't want you 💦🤔
This was eye opening. Thanks, no more negating my feelings!
Good for you! You are important and what you do and how you feel matters, don't let anyone tell you different. Always love you ok. And just keep on moving forward with your new-found epiphany! Be well. 🙂
@@kenakb gratitude to you. Be well! 😄
Coming from an extremely toxic relationship and being able to look back, I realize that you always speaking straight facts!!! Watching your videos really make it apparent why I kept trying to hold on to that particular relationship for so long. Deceit doesn't just come in one form. Thank you for all your insight!!
I ended and deleted after I kept explaining and him ignoring my feelings or just not being consistent, I told him your not the man for me and theres no excuse for your actions.
Specificity also provides CLARITY!! 👌🏾
I told him the few things that he does that hurts me but then he still does it😭...emotionally draining asfk
The wounded animal.. And vagueness 🤯
Oooo Derrick the last one was the constant. Vague and/or would stop communication for a day or two and then hit me up like nothing ever happened... I was a broken ass shell of a woman for a long time. I feel like these types of relationships are the hardest to heal from. Thank you for sharing your wisdom ❤️
I just got through dealing with this. Whenever I didn’t do what he wanted or give into him , he’d cut off communication for 2-3 days. If I missed a phone call, he wouldn’t answer when I called back.
Man I feel so naive. This has happened with all of my relationships. I usually noticed it, it felt off. But I didn't have the words to articulate it, or the self worth to put in better boundaries. I'm excited for the day that all this knowledge is engrained in me :)
After you catch him in 3 ppl’s DM. Then he gets mad about ppl liking my pictures. And, now I’m sleeping with them. 😒🤔🙄. This is over, bye boy. And now he’s on FB saying I’m not loyal. Blocked✌🏾🖕🏾
That reminds me of a guy I was seeing. The alarm on his phone went off and I was irritated with him because he wouldn’t get up and turn it off . I turned it off, went to my class and then he text me later acting defensive. Turns out his ex girlfriend sent him a photo and he thought I saw it. Then he accused me of going through his phone. The man basically told on himself and then tried to deflect by accusing me of invading his privacy. I stopped seeing him. The whole situation was just nonsense to me.
You kicked that messy demon to the curb where the rest of the trash goes good for you!!!😎😉☺
This is for Tikkie Walker.
Oh yeah as if someone liking your picture means that you are intimate by that definition I am having sex with all of my female friends ...and I am straight 😂😂😂
I took 9 1/2 years of this abuse. Now I’m stuck for life to him bc we have children. The knit picking after you hold him accountable ish is real. Every single time my feelings never were validated and flipped to me. I wish I knew this years ago.
Don't beat yourself up, sweetie. You're not shackled forever, when the kids are old enough or 18.. 🏃🏽♀️far away from that Joker!
Ladies do better with your sons cause most moms raise these types of grown boys...we need men. Please instill consciousness, empathy and compassion. Same for your daughters so they don't act like this when they do find the right men.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
It’s the women’s fault for these guys... raised not to treat women right...
I'm trying with my 18 year old son. Hopefully we got there. He's been great so far - no drinking, no smoking, no drugs, no cheating...Just studying and working hard, saving, investing in stocks and strictly one girlfriend.
@@pjSoCal23 The fathers have a huge accountability too - if only by being deadbeats. Don't pin it all on women. That's what men do.
You are right!!!!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Looks you dead in your eyeballs while straight lying. 👀
He might even force some FAKE tears 😭....... while still lying.
He's the devil 😈
If I have to ask you a dozen ?s because you’re being vague I feel like your parent SO we are not compatible 😴
Point, blank, periodTTT!
100000%
@@Jambuc829 lol sounding bitter.
Yep
They always dismiss your feelings.. and never takes, and dodges accountability and then he says , I can’t give you what you deserve and need.. that’s the easy out clause...
Omg. Yes!!!
I miss the "Team Jackson... what's happening." 🤷🏾
Derrick, you came back never missing a beat! This message was so on point and I thank you for it. 💪🏾❤😊
everytime i hear you speak i cant believe i truly fell for toxic ppl like this...its sad that i had to question myself if something is wrong with me , my own sanity because of how a person is and makes u feel guilt.. it took this type of person for me to look into things like this & learn that these type of people are pretty much playing a role&its sad.. u gotta question ur every move before u make it because u dont wana seem "not good enough" in their eyes 😔
Preach D. Exactly what my ex constantly did to me. He would avoid accountability by always pointing the finger back at me saying, "I'm not Ms. Perfect" so he is justified for doing XYZ. ANd always on extremely small petty ass shit cause I never betrayed him like he betrayed ME.
My now ex HATED when I ask questions. He had a 2 question made up rule. He would end the conversation and proclaim that im interrogating him if I ask more questions. But HIM on the other hand ask me questions all day long.
That is so weird and specific. Chin up hun, be glad you are rid of him!
This aged well huh?
I have seen this & now he’s history! Period
♏️❤️
Yes! I am going through this right now. Back n forth for an entire year. Even after the break up he doesn’t stop trying to manipulate. Thank you for your confirmation that I am doing the right thing by walking away.
This is so true. I’ve been through this & it’s hard to stand up to these guys, but in the end, I personally had to walk away from tough losses, but life goes on. It’s not worth being disrespected. New doors open up, and respect is out there.
Needed this 10 years ago... better late than never i guess
I had the guy who used the tit for tat method or bringing up something we’ve already addressed just to prove or to say see you're not perfect either" he got on my last nerves!
Thankyou! I been knew he was gaslighting me all these years but you broke it down with the last one. I'm stay away from now on regardless of his 'promises' for the future 🤷🏾♀️
This was a word 👏👏 and right on time! Thank you for these helps me to know I’m not crazy to feel mistreated.
This man speaks the truth. Take this as a warning and LEAVE HIM NOW BEFORE YOU WASTE YEARS ON THAT POS!!!!
Right on Derick! Your advice has opened my eyes wider.
Just summed up my whole 20s smh.
Exactly! A sea of emotionally immature men.
Another method to avoid accountability is to focus solely on delivery, attacking the way the message was delivered, and not address substance
Agreed!💯
Just straight sorry
A man that tries to do that is gone. I don’t have time a disingenuous man.
@@trilla7859 nobody is perfect, but he still has to be accountable for his behavior where you're emotional needs are concerned.
@@trilla7859 💯
@@trilla7859 I agree. No one may be perfect, but I think ghe point D J is making is that a man can be perfect on paper, and still neglect a woman emotionally. Thats not ok, no matter how great he appears on paper. If something doesn't feel right, don't settle.
@@LesG985 or text, and we'll stated!
I absolutely love your advice! Has helped so much 😊
Wow! This is one of the BEST explanations yet! I GET it. I'll remember this on many levels of human interaction!!
Your comment about specificity is absolutely correct. Bring up specific instances and watch his head spin when he can't actually refute any of it. It reminds me of how you should always ask open-ended questions (not yes/no) when you suspect someone is lying. They will literally try to get you to fill in the answer for them by being vague.
Yaassssss!!! Derrick, you’re on fire honey. Welcome back! Im in agreement with everything here.
WHERE CAN I FIND A “ONE IN A BILLION MAN ❤️🔥💋 LIKE YOU???”
HE ALREADY DID 😩😱😭💔
STAY BLESSED ALWAYS ‼️
🙏🏽🙏🏼🙏🏽❤️❤️❤️‼️‼️‼️
Hey Derrick you been on it lately..... I enjoy your videos and really appreciate them They help me out alot in my life...... Have a nice day and Stay safe
I miss you opening with "Team Jaxn, what's happening!"
Man you played yourself you damn hypocrite👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🤣🤣🤣
Thank you for helping us good women. Very good advice. I've had it all said and done to me 💞
Derrick facial expressions had me cracking up @2:40 😂😂 the faces they make too when they want you to feel sympathy for them💯👈 Nope!!!🙅♀️✌
💯 I gave up 9 yrs of my life living with everything you said. I kept thinking he will change until the day I threw his ass out. It left me without trust and afraid to move on. But there was also abuse. To this day I don't know why I allowed so many yrs to be taken. I was blind to this narcissist first time I dealt with someone like that. I didn't see it coming or see what was right in front of me.
I felt this, I was in the same situation 😢
You're 1 million on this, I've been with women that have been this way.
It works both ways.
Thank you Derrick Jaxn.....You bring so so much clarity to relationship dynamics.
Mo lists mo lists!!!🤩 We luv!!!
Accountability is very important. I won't have it no other way from no one! My drop off game is really good when it come to this kind of foolishness....something I have no time for and neither should anyone else that's listening to this video.
Thank you so much. These statements sadly I've experienced and really started questioning myself but you said one thing that will stay with me: Specificity creates Accountability. I asked for clarity all the time and was seen as too much and received vague responses or comments all the time. Thank you.
Wish I would have known this seven years ago. Thanks for educating women!
If this was church we would we be breaking the floor stomping acting a fool with the truth in that message
😂😂😂🙏🙏🙏
This information is EPIC!!!
Catching up on Derrick Jaxn....
This man can preach
I needed more church iml ♡
You were describing yourself here the whole time
There are two sides to every story. Proverbs 18:17 We need to be praying for them. Hebrews 7:25, 1 John. 2:1 Jesus is his Advocate.
I always spoke about my needs he never delivered and I openly told him what I need etc.
You nailed it word for word. I just walked away in December 2020. I turned to GOD first. I was tired of the bs. He just wouldn't stop lying.
Oh the irony 😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂
There are two sides to every story. Proverbs 18:17 We need to be praying for them. Hebrews 7:25, 1 John. 2:1 Jesus is his Advocate.
*Team Jaxn* Derrick, it MUST BE SAID 💕💜💪 DEFINITELY APPRECIATE EVERYTHING YOU DO 🙏 !
DJ gives good advice but it is mostly COMMON SENSE. In my 66 years on this planet, I have seen & learned, through personal experience & by paying attention to situations around me & trying to move closer to the truth of my own existence by self-examination & contemplation, the most significant trait of my & other women's existence; no matter how much we deny, we do see & recognize many of the red flags you speak about. But, we tend to overlook & ignore these signs because we are so eager, even desperate, to have a relationship. Women are aware when they are being ignored or mistreated or manipulated. We CHOOSE to close our eyes & hope for the fairytale. Seeing so many instances of ladies trying to force relationships, through pregnancies or emotional blackmail or other types of physical or emotional or monetary trickery, results in so much hurt, pain & hopelessness. We have to do better, we have to take accountability for our choices & accept responsibility for our outcomes. We must become adults & stop expecting men to read our minds. We must also stop acting as if men have magic powers to control our minds & make us do their bidding. We must act as women, not children.
Thanks Derrick! Much needed slap in the face to wake me up! Peace ✌🏽
Thinking GOD I'm Free from my Ex-Relationship. He would always to this, and use the exact words 🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿
Great advise, especially the part at the very end!
Did you have to describe my ex in 6 different ways?
Mine to
Mine too!
I think he was describing himself 🤣
My bf has straight up said I was too much for him, I’m too difficult 🤣
Same!
Aka you’re not a doormat; you have standards. I can’t run bullshit all over you. Take it a a compliment sis and run!
@@totf6359 yeah he told me I need help bc I asked him a question left him on the side of the street 🤷🏽♀️
@@rachellewis9251 Same but it’ll be days later. Just makes me feel like I’m being used and played with.
100 Percent FACTS!!!
Hello!! I just wanted to let you know I’m in a happy relationship now with a man who loves me because I took your advice. I stop giving the wrong man chances. I thought in certain situations I was humble enough to understand them, but they didn’t appreciate me not one bit. The man I’m with I know he is going to be the man I marry!! Much love!! Thank you!!!
omg just experienced all of these with a guy i just let go... he played all of these tactics in the same exact words