5 Things Confident People Refuse to Do
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- Опубліковано 7 лют 2025
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There are certain things confident people make an intentional point NOT to do - because they know that if they allow themselves to do these things, it not only feels bad, but it also erodes their confidence. Becoming more confident is about choosing certain thoughts and actions that help to build your confidence, but it's also about steering clear of the things that will chip away at it.
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ABOUT JULIA:
Julia Kristina, MA, is a speaker, teacher, master therapist and mental wealth coach who helps smart, highly sensitive, heart centred humans get past anxiety, stress, and self-doubt so they can have better: Better relationships, a better life and feel better about themselves.
Through her membership program, The Shift Society, she helps people identify their deep rooted thoughts and beliefs that are keeping them stuck and struggling, and then teaches them how to take charge of their minds and emotions so they can thrive in all areas of their lives.
Julia’s expertise has been featured in Inc magazine, Psych Central, Mind Body Green and numerous other publications, podcasts and television outlets. She has also given talks in front of audiences of hundreds on stages across North America. Videos on her UA-cam channel have been watched more than 15 million times and she has built a community of over 375,000 people across social media platforms. When she’s not helping her clients and students increase their emotional intelligence and mental strength, she’s out on some kind of adventure with her three children in Vancouver, Canada.
Hi Julia! Senior Shifter Chris here!
TAKE-AWAY: I think what you said about quitting vs. change of direction, was relevant to my artwork. One thing that I have done over the recent years is the art of caricature (A portrait that stretches and exaggerates peoples’ facial features) It is an artwork that does require lots of art skills, patience and practice to accomplish. There have been times I have felt discouraged and wanted to quit. I still draw caricatures occasionally but not as often anymore, but I also realized that it doesn’t really satisfy me anymore as an artist. I tend to find more enjoyment in landscapes or still life. I just find it more relaxing to do these types of artworks. I would say that even though I may draw a caricature occasionally, I find myself going in a different direction with my art.
Here are my notes:
* Confidence can come from our accomplishments and success but deeper confidence that builds a sturdy, stable sense of self, comes less from the things that we do and more from the things we don't do.
* Confidence is built on the thoughts we think about ourselves.
* Our thoughts about the things that make us feel good about ourselves at a deep level can be very much threatened when we are doing these other things that threaten our sense of self and confidence.
5 Things Confident People Refuse to Do:
1. Confident people don't quit.
2. Confident people don't try to be people-pleasers.
3. Confident people don't sit around comparing themselves to others.
4. Confident people don't put other people down.
5. Confident people don't blame other people for their problems.
Marie Forleo's mantra, "Everything is figureoutable" is really powerful.
It’s very true that some people will not like you no matter how likable you are. It is not your fault any more than it is the world’s best peach’s fault that some people don’t like peaches.🍑 That analogy has been so healing for me!❤️🩹
Hahah I use "everything is figure-out-able" all the time. Marie is the best!
I like this Julia person. She makes me feel like she cares. No Serial Killer.
yes, confidence is more about appreciation than pride. ofc some people use the word pride to mean a sense of joy and gratitude, but more often I find it's a comparison and a sense of feeling better than (some) other people. a confusing word, I suppose you intentionally avoided using it, good choice! 😅
Appreciation for what?
@@airiello well for anything really but when it's in comparison to pride then appreciation for the things you've achieved, the skills you either naturally have or have cultivated, the effort you've put into whatever that has brought you to where you are.. rather than feeling proud aka somehow better than others for those things.
Real confidence is built from the inside, not gained from the outside.
I notice myself comparing myself to others, blaming others for my issues, and people pleasing.
However, I also notice myself being able to catch these when it's happening and direct myself to think more helpful thoughts like "if they can do that, I can do it too, what can I do to remedy this, and my worth as a person comes from my existence."
There are probably two that hinder me the most but are highly influenced by both the intentional actions of others and now physical health that has been made worse than it needed to be.
Those two being "Quitting vs. Changing Direction" and "Communicating Effectively Without Being Mean".
I often don't simply quit unless being forced into a corner by someone else who only thinks they know more about a project (often a major issue) because "they asked a friend who said it is not the way you are supposed to do something". To clarify, this is usually about something relating to fixing electrical wiring in a 100 year old house or something where the "friend with a degree" has never been to the house, seen what was going on, doesn't know of connecting problems etc. and when I tell somebody that I cannot do a certain thing at the time "they want it done" (if at all) without creating an extremely dangerous situation and then they turn around and make some things worse right in the middle of a project and tell others that I actually caused the damage. So in general conversation, yes but in more specific situations? There will be some mean things because some have caused intentional harm and then went further by telling others that I had done it and those people started to harass me and have continued. I can only change direction in so many ways for certain things.
Having said all that I do constantly work on it but sometimes physical pain simply does not allow for being overly nice all the time.
I want to thank you very much! When I get the chance to watch your videos they bring such joy! Now if I could just put you in my pocket so you could remind me all day would be a bonus!
Hi there! If you have the means to join the Shift Society- I highly recommend it 😊
You will learn how to put these skills into practice over time and also benefit from doing the work within a community of likeminded people 👍
Thank you for all the videos you post, you never know but they can mean the world to someone 🥹 Please don’t stop❤
I want to pay attention to 3rd, 4th and 5th points. I may struggle with them at different times. Thank you Julia!
Thank you for clarity. Been working on myself 🎉
This is so helpful. Thank you Julia!
Thanks you for your explanations.
Helloo Julia!!! Happy Friday!!! Your videos are always wonderful and great!! Thanks
Great 👍
First and foremost, I want ro congratulate you on knowing your stuff and communicating it in such a provocative and compelling way.
I am from the seaside city of Brighton in the UK. I was wondering where you were based, you have a great accent, to my British ears.
Anyway, I have suggestion for you. In all your really valuable content I can easily get lost as one point seemlessly flows into another.
It can be difficult to digest and remember each and every enlightening nugget. However, if you started by outlining the 5 points your are about to cover, and then summarising them again at the end of you piece. I feel I could zero in more on each point you are making. I don’t know…just a suggestion. Keep up the great work.
Figure out able? What?