Thank you all for the kind comments! My heart goes out to any who have experienced trials similar to mine and more difficult than mine. Through God's grace I have been able to move on and find joy with my family that I never thought I deserved. My only hope is that in some small way I can help others feel that same happiness and love. I understand that everyone's situation is unique but I know that the Lord knows and loves us all individually. If you find yourself in a situation like I was in please reach out to the Lord and to loved ones. I have been amazed at the love and support from both friends and strangers and I want to reciprocate that to others in need. I am more than happy to speak directly with anyone that stands in need of help!
Zach I absolutely remember you. Crazy how time flies! I really appreciate you reaching out with such positive feedback. Great to hear you're doing well. I hope and pray things continue to trend upward for you. You definitely deserve it. Hope to see you around soon!
Even though our young men are encouraged to serve a mission, it's not for everyone to finish their missions. I think the Lord is extremely proud of who you have become, rather than what you have or have not done. We have such an amazing Father in Heaven who loves us so much!
Jake Green I went through a similar experience. I left the mission after a few months. After several weeks homes and in counsel with my priesthood leaders on what to do, I returned. Many people could have assumed that, when you go home early, that you were unworthy or weak. These were not true, in my case, and were not true in yours either. I am glad that you have found peace and understanding surrounding this difficult situation. The Lord has infinite wisdom and mercy. It is most often our finite minds that fail to grasp how much he loves and cares for us. It took me a long time to get over feeling bad about leaving my mission, even though I was able to finish. God bless and good to see you didn’t give up the faith.
Jake Green Revelation 2:19 I know your deeds, your love and faith, your service and perseverance, and that you are now doing more than you did at first.
Jake, thank you for sharing this experience with us. My husband and I let our son know that if he serves just 3 months and feels that he has to return home, that we love him and are proud of him. But it's been over 7 months in Alaska and all is well. Hold onto the iron rod. Proud of you.
iam a convert to the L.D.S. church. I was A Hells Angel I had to trust God to make it through my Mission.coming home early only you know in your heart. The Answer .I served ,2 years see I knew nothing about the Gospel of Jesus Christ I learned on my mission.Iam eternally greatful.the average baptism in England for 2,years was 4 total.i was blessed with over 100 baptism why me.just blessed I have a strong conviction of the Gospel of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.I know it is the truth Gospel of Jesus Christ I know Christ lives and loves all his children I so Testify in his name even Jesus Christ Amen
My husband came home early for depression a year before he and I met. It was very hard for him, and sometimes still is. I have been praying for years for the Church to talk about this more. Thank you for your story.
It didn't have an affect, but that's because I had a friend (who I did date briefly) who came home from his mission early for medical reasons as well. I learned through this friend that the Lord will bless missionaries for their service, no matter what length. My husband told me on our first date that he had come home early. Of course, I was fresh from breaking up with the other guy and my initial thoughts were, "Not another one." I feel bad about that. As we got to know each other better, I asked him if he felt like he had fulfilled his mission. He said that he got an answer in a prayer that he had done his duty and to move on with his life. Of course, there were a few people who thought I was the reason he wasn't going back on his mission, but that's another conversation altogether. He is a wonderful husband and father to our little girls, and very hard-working. He does still occasionally struggle with the fact he came home early, but it has lessened as time has gone on.
I love when the church posts stuff like this online. I never even got to experience the excitement of opening up a mission call, walking into the MTC, and eventually into the mission field. My depression and anxiety got the best of me, and I never got to go out. These messages are truly inspiring. They remind us that we are all children of God who have our own struggles in life, and that we cannot judge someone because they stumbled differently than we did. We all have different experiences, and we all need to be there for each other. God is perfectly capable of taking a bad situation and turning it into something great. I've realized that God knows I can be just as effective as a member missionary and home teacher as I would have been as a full-time missionary. I'm so grateful that the church shares these inspiring messages.
This is JUST FANTASTIQUE! No matter if u finish or not, you still a great person, look at the great blessings that the Lord has given you so far in your life. God speed brother. We have still a lot to do.
Amen, brother. God is more interested in us moving on than looking back. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Overcoming sin, weakness, hardship has the same formula--look to Christ and never look back!
Beautiful. For years I gave myself a letter grade for the type of mission I served. My faults, my weaknesses, my struggles. I finally realized it was not my place to grade myself. It was God who gave me the grades. His grade for me was MUCH higher than mine.
I have a lot in common with Elder Green. I too was called to a southern states mission (Mississippi) and I too came home early from what was supposed to be a two-year mission. In my case, I last about two months and I didn't start out depressed but rather became too ill to finish. The depression came after, and it sure hit hard. A lot of the same feelings Elder Green shared in this video, I felt similar feelings. I'm the oldest of three boys and at that time, it had been five or ten years since my small California ward that I was living at the time had sent out a missionary, and I felt like I let all of the above, plus my parents and God, down big time. It controlled and tormented me for ten years of my life. What finally saved me tragically was the death of my uncle-in-law a few years ago. The ten year anniversary of my entering the MTC was coming up and I was really feeling low and dreading the day. I'll never forget, I went to sleep the night before the anniversary, and the next day my wife woke me up with the news that her uncle had been murdered. In fact, it was a big murder story for a while up in the Salt Lake area. At that moment any sense of self-loathing over my "failed" mission left me and all I could think about was my uncle-in-law and his family. We flew out to Utah for the funeral and the spirit hit me so strong that whole week. It finally hit me that every individual person is on a different path, and so many times, both in the church and out, we fall into the trap of determining our worth on what other's do or think or say, or many times as the case usually is, what we think other's do or think or say. I was called to a mission called life, and I'll be released when I die. I don't know when that release day will be, but till then I have to do my best to be a better person, learn and grow in the Gospel and bring my own soul back to Christ. If something I do or say helps others come back to Christ, all the better. I'll share the Gospel with people I know or run into and I'll try every day to know my Lord better than the day before. That's my mission, and that's OK.
Thank you so much for sharing this... I just recently got released after 3 months of service. At first, I felt optimistic, wanted to do better even after I'm released, but slowly it's been starting to hit on me, overwhelming feeling of not doing what the Lord wants me to do... But now I'm reminded that my calling never ended when I got released from my mission or never started when I was called as one. It's my lifelong mission to love others and share the Gospel. 💕
I'm 18 and have been struggling with a lot of emotions regarding a mission. My main concern is my depression... I'm not 100% sure that I can stay healthy while out on my own... And having to even face the possibility of coming back early has me terrified to even put my papers in. But this video was truly inspiring... Thank you so much, Jake.
Any work at all done is a benefit. There doesnt always have to be a tangible outcome. Sometimes just being present physically is enough to benefit someone else. Depression isnt an easy thing. There are many helpful tools. Read different scriptures. Maybe book of mormon in the morning one day, the next morning, old testament. Bodyweight drills during a mission can help stay in shape. Maybe play chess\go with assigned companion, which will teach critical thinking if someone chooses to debate the authenticity of book of mormon. Also realize that sooner or later someone close will always offend or let you down. Thats a normal part of life\marriage. At conference, Pres Uchtdorf said, essentially, if there were a perfect woman, why would she pick me? Its essential to not beat yourself up. God knows we fall short. That is why Jesus came, to atone for us.
Thank you all for your comments. I think I"ll push through with a mission in the future after I finish my associates degree (I'm a few credits short). So probably after I'm 19. And yes, I plan on being very upfront about my several issues. Whatever happens will happen... I just need to keep the spirit with me! Thanks again y'all!
Somehow I felt something of why I returned to this video. Because I hear nowadays that member of the church retuned home early from a mission and/or didn’t serve because of medical reasons. Especially mental health. I have this feeling that this generation has gone soft. Maybe our members of this faith too. I mean why are they anxious, or scared? God should be on their side as they have been all of their lives and should be protected by Him!! As a covert baptized by age 18 and didn’t went on a mission, because I didn’t took the faith seriously til I came back with Real Intent! I should’ve went on a mission! But what matters now is progressing and thriving in this faith!! And now, if people stop feeling sorry and start believing in God more, then they won’t able to experience anxiety, depression and/or suicide more!! Because were believers of God and Christ!! And That way we can believe through the Impossible with God!!
You did serve a full-time mission, even though it may not have been a 2-year mission. I struggled with the same thoughts after I returned home 6 months before my 2-year mark, also because of depression/anxiety that I'd experienced to a degree in the years preceding my mission. Then one day, as I was struggling with similar feels as you expressed, I realized that I had in fact served full time for 18 months. Like you, I've been able to move on. I've been able to marry, have children, obtain a graduate degree, succeed in my chosen field, and continue to build my testimony of Jesus Christ. Thanks for sharing your story!
As a Senior missionary serving with young Elders and Sisters I know just how difficult a mission can be, especially if you are not 100% emotionally and physically prepared. It is not a failure to realize where you are at that moment in time and do what is best for you and your companions. We all have different challenges. Some are just more visable than others. What is important is that you continue forward, which you obviously have. Congratulations ! ! Not only that you get to look forward to a mission with your sweetheart when the time and circumstances are right. Always a silver lining and rainbows.
As a different kind of soldier in a different war I had to accept a medical retirement. You had the courage to face a terrifying reality. You had the courage to take that to your leaders. And you've had the continuing courage to live a great life. See a thread here brother? Courage And now the courage to share a painful episode so that others may be strengthened. Thank you!
This is one of the most sincere testimonies I have ever read! You are a good person! You have a very pure heart. What a beautiful wife and family you have! You have eternity to do missionary work for the Lord! Take care...and enjoy your wonderful life!
Thank you, Jake, for sharing your experience and testimony. As an RM who returned home early, this was a great reminder to me that (even though it's already been over a year) we really need to let God into our lives. We need to show Him that we can keep moving forward regardless of what comes in our path. We need to call Him for help, and He will be there.
I came home a year ago in early September from the Provo MTC. I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. Nothing bad will ever happen from going on a mission. I was in the MTC for 5 days. It was hard. But I learned more about myself and the lord than I would've elsewhere.
I give my sincere thanks to all of those who like Jake step forward and share this experiences. Brother, you help me know I´m not alone. This inspiring message is God sent. Depression is hard to live with, I know that first hand. Loved the priceless focusing you had on the solution rather than dwell on the problem. Remember brothers and sisters, you are not alone!
oh my goodness: my mom showed me this video on Facebook because she wanted me to translate it (we're Chilean and she doesn't speak English), and I couldn't do it immediately as tears started pouring. I am facing a hard time with depression, I quit my job as an English teacher, and everything felt overwhelming; I felt just like you described. These months have been awful to me and I couldn't (still can't) understand why. I am dealing with psychologists and my parents' support has done a lot, but actually I want to thank you for sharing your experience. I am now called as President of the Primary on my ward, so I know which kids God wanted me to guide or teach, that I am able to serve him, that I can do more and be happy about it. Thank you so much.
wow this was beautiful! I came home early from a mission and have been on and off the path for the past 4 years I've been home. I wish I could tell this elder that him not knowing he has touched hundreds if not thousands of lives with this video. its good to know the lord will love you regardless of what you choose. elder green your an amazing example of faith and not giving up! Thank you for your example and I'm sure our father in heaven is proud of what you've done!
I hope you will come back to full activity. Heavenly Father wants you to be able to partake of the full blessings of full fellowship in the church. He loves you very much. Also, please don't feel you are unworthy of a good LDS girl or even just a good girl. The Lord makes us fit for the kingdom, we don't come that way.
Thanks Jake for your experience, the Lord knows our hearts better and most of all understands our capabilities, and he does Love us even in our imperfections, and wants us to strive through out our lives on earth. Hope to all future missionaries and those who are unable to serve.
Dear Brother Green, thank you for sharing with the world something so personal and special to you! In my years of membership in the Church, I have known many Missionaries to go home early or not start their missions at all. I admire you and your courage. Now you can be like me, a member missionary!! Sending you greetings and friendship from Western Australia...
Hello Thomas! I have only just seen your message. Please forgive me for writing back four months later. Thank you so much for your comment. Are you a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints? I am a member missionary. This means that I can share the Gospel of Jesus Christ by bearing my testimony to others. I can invite people to Church. I can hand out one of the most precious books known to mankind called "The Book of Mormon" out to strangers, family or friends who are not members of the Church. I can support my local community by donating food or clothing to the less fortunate. This is some of the ways that I can serve as a Missionary. I hope that you are well and happy. May the Lord, bless you dear brother. Kindest regards from Western Australia...
To any early returners out there, try a service mission! I returned home early from proselyting for similar reasons here, but I am finishing my service in a family history center. It is so fulfilling.
You are really awesome ! I think its more common even now for missionaries to return home because they don't feel they can continue or realize its not something they wish to continue and in so many places they can be looked down upon but if people like yourself decide to come back heavenly father has given that free agency and as you can see he had a plan for you all along ! you're awesome and this was a great testimony !! May Heavenly Father continuously bless you and your family !
#SCCMAlumni (11-14) I went thru a similar process, but was blessed to go back out 10 months later. Because it was one of the hardest, it was one of the biggest blessings in my life amd testimony. I'm glad the Church is reaching out more towards this challenge.
your Vid choked me up, man. It took BIG cajones to decide to go, BIGGER to call your Mom & Dad while at MTC. I admire your bravery & courage. Watching this Vid, you made me Proud of you, man. That smile on your wife's face as she looks at you, and the smiles of your children as they look at their Father are priceless. You inspire me, brother. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing. This is exactly what I needed to hear as a parent of a child struggling with wether or not to go on a mission. I want him to be successful in life but now I'm thinking that him staying and moving on with his life will be the best for him. I feel like I have my answer that I have been searching for.
Thank you for this Jake. You are such an inspiration. What a great reminder that at the end of the day what really matters is deepening our relationship with the Savior. I was really touched by your message.
Being an ex missionary doesn't make you a better person. Believe me...I came back with honor and now I don't even go to church. the key is to be a better person. great video
I never served a mission, never had a calling. My wife and daughter arent into it and dont attend. The other week role call went around in Elders Quorum, and my name isnt on it. Adult male with zero priesthood. I dont pay tithes because wife doesnt want me to. What i have found is that many of the roles and activities are outcome based. I dont worry about outcome. i focus on learning and being. I show up on sunday because the LDS church is interesting. Im not concerned with the truth, because that has never been an issue. The LDS Church has always been divinely led, always will be, doesnt matter what my opinion is on it, it just is. And likewise i am free to be a part of it. Right now my "calling" is to clean the ward on saturdays. I speak in church during meetings, not led by me, because im allowed. I think its enough that Jesus leads the way and there are so many different things to learn about in the LDS church and so many different types of people. Sunday services in the LDS church and really at anytime, are comforting to me. Its enough that i like LDS.
What a wonderful story. Serving a mission have been the hardest thing I've ever done, through my time, many of my companions return early home. I have PD (Panic Disorder) and suffer depression, even though I finished my mission, I was always tempted to quit and go early as well since the beginning. Sometimes I'm enticed to think I didn't return with honor because of my weaknesses on the mission field; several panic attacks and depression episodes restricted me from giving a 100%. I easily understand those who go early home since my companions, and my own circumstance. God knows what he requires from each of his children. Thanks for the video.
He and his wife have the opportunity to serve a senior mission. The fact that he was physically unable to finish his mission is not something to be ashamed of. He imparted a very important message and that is to let Heavenly Father into our lives and to ask for His help.
I returned home from my mission in West Africa about 3 months ago. Just about 2 months out I started getting extremely sick which lead me to a brutal depression. I was sick for just over two months with an extremely serious illness. Coming home was rough, it seemed like I let my family, friends, and God down. For a while I started blaming god for allowing me to suffer so long in such a developing country. But looking back on it, I learned more about myself while being miserable and sick for over 2 months, than I may have learned in 2 years healthy. I learned about my strengths, weaknesses and how to handle hard situations. God does not have a "one size fits all" path for everyone. If you came home early from a mission, for whatever reason, you served the lord in some way-- there should be no shame in it. Best thing you can do is work to better yourself and come closer to god. Keep fighting brothers and sisters.
thank you for sharing your wonderful story. I'm glad you're moving forward and that you have a beautiful family! You're a great example of not letting those small things define you and dwelling on it. you've moved on and made a great husband, father, priesthood holder, and example too many. thank you again!
Great video. I'm sure glad the LDS Church posted this. Sure there are many who have gone through that experience. Being a parent of teenagers, missions have come up in our discussions. I tell them it is their own personal decision if they will serve or not. I tell them I would support them 100% if they go. If they don't go, I would do the same. I am blunt about what I experienced-the desire of some missionaries to become District, Zone Leaders, and their ultimate goal to be Assistant to the President, and how they undercut others, would expect us to be obedient to mission rules, yet they were the ones who broke them. I share with my children the beauty I experienced in the Dominican Republic. Even when returning home after 2 years, I was still doubting if I had made the right decision to go, along with anger, regrets, etc. I've come to the conclusion, that my mission experience was for myself, and that I'm on this earth to better myself, for my own happiness, to help and not judge others along the way-regardless if they serve a mission or not.
Thank you for addressing this topic. As an early returned missionary myself I haven't been able to find a lot of resources from the church about it. I hope there will be more videos like this soon.
None of the current first presidency served a mission as 18 y/o to 21 y/o elders. This matters, it shows that while serving those two years is important it's not the determining factor in a church members long term growth as a member in good standing.
I love this definition of missionary. Missionary-Someone one leaves their family for a short time so that others may be with their family for eternity. In heaven, we might promise our friends in heaven we will serve a mission and teach them the gossiple. Look at it in internal perspective. I will serve a mission. I know it will be the hardest thing I will ever experience and the scariest. I know that it will be worth it at the end. I have God with me every second of the day. I am working on doing basic thing to be closer to him even when I am so exhausted from school. It's hard sometimes, I will keep working on it all through my life. The knowledge of the gossiple we have is a such a blessing. Their are people out on the world who are literally looking and search for the truth. Who will die to know the truth. Like why are we here? What is the purpose of life? Why do we have families? No one understands me. Why did someone I love die? Is there a God? Why doesn't he help me in the situation or hard time I am in? Those answer I know for sure, people will do anything for those answer. I am so grateful for the gossiple in my life!
I came home from my mission early. I now have 6 children, and a great life. The anxiety hit not in the mtc, but when I was in Uruguay and later California. I didn’t know what was going on, other than I knew I needed to get back home. 20 years after my mission I had to face the feelings I stuffed down for all of those years. I had to love myself and let go of any shame. I see now that God gave me a weakness, to build empathy, patience, and love. This life is one big lesson.
I had to return early from my mission for some serious health issues. I can definitely empathize with you in how big of a struggle it was. I must admit that it took my quite some time to learn to put my life in our Savior's hands, but when I did, a lot changed for the better. I'm sorry for the hard time to went through. I'm right there with you, buddy. The Lord truly loves us and does what is good for us.
I recently made the decision to return home early from my mission due to clinical depression. It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made. Thank you so much for this video. It has helped me so much.
Thank you for creating this emotional video. My son returned early from his mission 6 months after leaving, and as a mother I can understand his story completely. I have empathy and understanding for those who come home early. Friends and family were loving and kind and did not think any less of my son. We wrapped our arms around him and asked him how we could help him to move on and be successful in life- and with love we never looked back with sadness or regret. We just moved forward with faith and that is what I would hope for anyone in this situation. What got us through was knowing we should never be ashamed, and that there are worse things in life that can happen than coming home early.
My mission was the most important 2 years in my life. That being said, I've learned in my 41 years on this planet to not judge others. We simply cannot understand what another is experiencing.
This is so touching. I completely understand where Elder Green is coming from. I served for about 5 months in Madrid, Spain. I felt like I had let everyone down, both in my mission area and back home. At the time, I had NEVER heard of a missionary coming home early. I genuinely thought I was the only one in the whole world. Since then, of course, I have heard a variety of stories and even met some of those people. For the first 3 months back home, I constantly felt obligated to go back because 'that's what everybody else said I should do,' even though I wasn't in a fit state to do so. I eventually came to peace with it after a long conversation with a less-active friend who started coming back out. He simply asked me 'what do YOU want to do?' I hadn't thought about that. I hadn't even thought about what God wanted for me. So I prayed that night and asked if I should go back. I then had an overwhelming feeling that those 5 months were indeed the mission I needed to serve. A year later, I had the wonderful blessing of visiting Madrid to witness the sealing of a family I helped teach. I will be forever grateful for those experiences I had during that relatively short time-frame.
Thankyou for sharing your story. Unfortunately there is still this huge stigma about missionaries coming home early. I'm happy that the leadership of the church are spreading awareness that it's not just because of disobedience but real mental emotional conditions which sometimes cannot be helped and that doesn't lessen a persons value.
After having children, instead of feeling joy, I felt depressed and unable to be the mother I had always dreamed of being. It's been hard to let go of that "ideal" that I always thought I'd have. But in the last few years, I've come to better accept that my experience has been different, but that doesn't make me a bad mother or a bad person. I love the question, "How are you going to get up and move on?" because I have gotten stuck many times in looking back. But at some point, I began looking forward and that was so helpful.
I've experienced that sense of overwhelming feeling and anxiety. It feels like I want to cry and when I do cry, I can't stop. And I find it dificult for me to control myself. But I know that my savior is always here for each and every single one of us. We are heavenly father's children. And when we mess up, it's okay. Because we can get back up again and try again. And those little acomplishments you make on your way to that process, it makes you happy. And I know and can testify that yes, WE ARE GOD'S CHILDREN IN HEAVEN. When we help each other, it's because we are brothers and sisters.
I recently came home early from my mission after serving for fourteen months. I relate to what was said in the video on such a personal level. So much of what was said was exactly what I said or thought. I have been truly blessed that there have been so many videos and initiatives like this one about early returned missionaries that have helped me get through some of the hardest parts. To know that I'm not the only one who felt the way I did. I really appreciate the openness and honesty, as well as the well put together video. Thanks so much.
Thank you, Brother Green, for sharing this very personal experience. Thank you for the hope and spirit it inspires. I've been in a similar experience in my life (and I"ve known others that have had a similar experience, too), and this was a hopeful message that gives me strength.
Years ago, a missionary assigned to the Cincinnati Mission had a very difficult time with anxiety at doors, depression from being unable to qualify LDS teaching with the Bible, and left early. I saw him and his companion go to doors, and whenever Bible questions would come up, he would panic. He could answer questions about the Book of Mormon and D&C quite well, but whenever investigators would ask him how LDS beliefs could be explained from the Bible, he was stuck. I don't know the facts, but he came off as one of those kids who didn't want to go on a mission but did so out of a sense of obligation (and/or pressure) and was woefully unprepared for the reality. Even from what I saw, his knowledge of the Bible, like that of a lot of missionaries, was nowhere near the level of his/their understanding of LDS texts, and it took an incredible toll on him when people asked questions he simply could not begin to answer.
Mental health issues are really serious and if one has it then they are not fit to go until they have overcome it. It should be noted that one must not feel guilty for not going because of mental health issues. They are excused just like if someone wasn't physically fit to serve because of physical health issues. Anyone who is not fit to serve must seek to serve in their own respective areas of residence and must be embraced and supported by all.
I served a mission but was medical released. I have a vertigo and I never thought that it will be my downfall. During my short time in the field, I tried to think past my dizziness, and just try to work and love our investigators but human as I am I succumb to my illness. I prayed for strength, I fasted for strength and endurance, but I succumbed. My health is in balance, I'm seeing stars during work, a split second block outs that I'm a second to a serious injury. I remember, I talked to my mission president when the Salt Lake Missionary Physician advised me to go home, if I failed as a missionary, if I didn't return with honor. I was afraid to go home and scared of what the members in my branch will say. My MP told me, NO, you are called somewhere else. I've realized that my next investigator was actually my sister.... That was 6 years ago and rarely up until today I ponder if I was too weak... but I find comfort of the fact that God indeed has a greater plan for all of us if we only ask for His guidance.
Sometimes it's just biology though. Depression is a real medical condition. Saying it's Satan doing this to our missionaries implies that the missionary should have just somehow tried harder to overcome, when really they need medical help for a medical condition.
I left my mission early 9 years ago, not for medical, just because I was stupid. I quit. My mission president, parents stake president, and brother tried to get me to stay. I don't know how to forgive my self. I don't know how to make up for my mistake. I regret it almost every day. This decision has sent me down a path I don't want to be on. This video is wonderful and inspiring. But I can't fix my mistake. I can't right the wrong.
Brought me to Tears, I;ve never served a Mission due to my Personal Fears, i thought that i Wouldn't be a good missionary due to my Phobia of Dogs, i didnt want Members to think i didn't like them, cause i never went to there place, of Not Knocking on a Door, all cause of One thing, DOGS, I always thought i was selfish as a rersult, and maybe i was, but this video bought peace to my soul.
One thing I know for sure is that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of peace and love, hope and courage. Press forward with that steadfast faith in Christ :)
I stuck my mission out despite serious bouts of depression and other mental issues that I now realize were caused by a very subtle and sophisticated form of schizophrenia. I also knew that if I came home early, I'd never hear the end of it from myself and others. Strangely, I sometimes think I was a bad missionary even though I was an excellent missionary (ask Elder Ringwood of the Seventy). I WAS bullied, however--or rather, I allowed a pointless nickname to carry on throughout my mission which I deeply regret allowing when I was a greenie. I thought that if I pretended the nickname didn't bother me, other missionaries wouldn't find an excuse to use it resentfully. I was wrong; others used it as a form of resentment, often intonating the nickname in a spiteful manner. And there were other things: companionship issues; the fact that the "bar" was then only recently raised (whatever that means, for I have found little improvement in the average missionary); not to mention my own struggles to learn Korean and learn to love the food (which grows on you by the way--Korean food can hold its own). It was just a tough, TOUGH experience. Maybe being honorably excused from even having to serve a mission would have been the wisest solution for me. Too bad the mental screening was not as in-depth as it is now. They might have identified a problem I have only recently begun to understand.
Each of you who has come home early, open your calls and realize that it said we expect you to serve for a period of time. It didn't say you will serve for that period of time. Also when I was released, I was released as a 'full-time missionary'. I wasn't released from being a missionary.
I don't know what I think of this video. What message is it sending? We all know there are individuals who have health, emotional, or family reasons returning home from missions. I would say that some issues are more severe than others and if they are able to be treated to the point that the young man/woman can return to the mission field, then great. I don't think we need to highlight individuals returning from missions no matter the reason. I would say as a return missionary myself that missions definitely can be difficult at times. Anxiety is common among missionaries because it is challenging work. It requires the individual to grow and stretch to overcome those challenges. I think a video like this just opens a door of justification for prospective missionaries to return home when times are hard. 'If you have a bad day and want to quit, go ahead, Jesus still loves you.' I don't think poorly upon individuals who return home early, no-one should. That being said, we shouldn't dismiss the life lessons that can come from a missionary who overcomes weakness and stays in the mission field or at least gets the help needed in order to continue. Missions are hard, they are supposed to be. There is joy found in service but no-one said it would be easy or come without some discomfort.
Thank God! I'm a Christian - a non-Mormon - who grew up in Utah. I've witnessed first-hand how the "Return with Honor" simply corners every person into the role of Saturday's Warrior. If you grew up in this city, you'll find that the pressure to be a fictional character infiltrates the junior high schools, the high schools and makes every kid feel as if he/she is worthless unless they serve a mission and have a girlfriend who will faithfully wait for you. Heaven forbid that you don't have a girlfriend when you graduate high school. You're deemed a loser. You're dishonored. The type of person you are really doesn't matter. Did you serve a mission?Do you realize how groundbreaking your video and testimony is? It's revolutionary. You hit the nail on the head! I praise you for keeping your focus on what God wants from us as people, and everything you say and the pain you went through empowers your message. You sacrificed nothing and stood up in the light because you remain true to your God and Savior! I am speechless, and may God supply all your needs in Christ!
Wow. Thank you so much. I didn't have any problems with my mission but I did have with something else and whet you've said that we need to get up and become a better person just REALLY helped me
you're not the first or the last missionary to have those feelings. what would have happened if you stuck it out? hard to know really. maybe you can help prospective missionaries with these feelings. i wondered what i was doing on a mission. experience in these kinds of situations was to stick with it regardless. God came to my rescue. i just needed to give it a chance be patient and have faith. i was 48 years old when i got married. i thought was never going to get married. but God came to my rescue and i got married. there were challenging times in my marriage where God came to my resuce or i would be divorced. so what i learned was to stick it out and do my best. never give up and realize work hard and be close to our Lord and Savior.
My brother had to return home from his mission two times, but for a different reason. He injured his back and couldn't do the missionary work. He was so sad to come home both times, and when he went back after returning the first time, he didn't even look back at us when we took him to the airport.
I'm still struggling from depression and a bunch of suicide thoughts until today. But when I watch your video, it tells me I'm not the only one who struggles from it. Thank you for giving me a heartfelt inspiration. And thank you for your example.
I think he's wrong: Elder Green IS serving his mission, as we all are, and he is serving it beautifully. I also think he's right: there is no room in God's will to ask how to change the past, because the past, though crucially instructive, is no longer a direct part of our decision-making existence, and questions focused solely on the past can do nothing for us but, as he said, hold us back. Like some others here, I finished about 75% of my expected time, every moment of which was valuable. I was blessed to be offered an additional form of service. The knowledge came to me as I went that even if it were an inferior choice to leave, and a loss, yet it was, for good and ill, my choice to own. And I now keep that confidence in my ability to freely choose as my rarest prize.
I was sent home due to the mental anxiety I experienced and the heart problems. I told myself that no matter how hard it was I would not come home, until my mission president actually suggested it. After thinking and praying for a week, I knew my answer was to come back. I knew that everything that I had been doing was good, and that now was the time to stop, for my own health. I got a medical release, but it didn't matter. The members back home didn't give a crap why I was released. The members did not care what I went through. I was labeled a failure by my bishop and by most of the members. Even my stake president. The people of the church (at least where I live) are not good people.
My perspective is that it is hard to go out on a mission and it’s hard to not go out. Missions are opportunities and not everyone is available to take that opportunity and that is acceptable to the Lord. It could be a timing issue and the opportunity will wait. If it’s a worthiness issue then use the opportunity to get back in tune with the Savior and then revisit the opportunity. A mission should never be approached as a “all or nothing” decision. God doesn’t hang all of your worth on this decision, but I would strongly advise anyone to not pass or accept this opportunity lightly. Fast, pray and make it a decision between you and the Lord. Whatever you end up deciding to do, take him with you.
I came home due to spinal surgery. I was stunned by the alienation I felt. Some wouldn't date me because I "didn't finish"; however, I was honorably released. I even had some clown from the missionary department call and attempt a guilt trip, and even he was saying "no woman will ever want to date" me. Fortunately, he was not a General Authority, and after some correspondence with the head of the missionary department at the time, it was settled satisfactorily in my mind. I'm grateful to the few who greeted me with open arms, but the others who looked down their noses at me really surprised me.
Henry, we're so sorry for the challenges you faced returning from your mission early. Your service is known and appreciated by Heavenly Father and those you taught and loved. You have much to offer the Church and those around you. We wish you the very best!
I think you're one of the lucky ones. I wasn't allowed to come home early. (I tried) I've regretted going on a mission ever since. To this day I feel it was the biggest mistake of my life. I truly feel that I mocked God and I'm suffering the consequences.
I got homesick and worried about getting sent home from my mission if I do wrong one more time. I've been struggling too hard while serving in the family history mission in Salt Lake City. Then I will serve another church service mission at Mesa MOC and Gilbert MOC for a year.
Sending hugs and love. I know so many people who went through this. SO MANY. Have you thought about starting a support group if it doesn't already exist?
Jake I went through the same thing but I finished the two year mission. It has been 25 years since I have been home. I no longer am with the church and struggle with a family I truly love and parents that are still in the church. The reasons are many but the big one now is the how the church views gays and lesbians. My step daughter is lesbian and I love her regardless of this. The god I believe in doesn’t put a struggle like that in front of people just to “test” them. Especially when so many people are committing suicide because they are to scared to come out to there families. This is just wrong, and until you start to think for your selves and stop listing to these people telling you how these people are bad sick and wrong I am afraid you all have lost your way.
Thank you all for the kind comments! My heart goes out to any who have experienced trials similar to mine and more difficult than mine. Through God's grace I have been able to move on and find joy with my family that I never thought I deserved. My only hope is that in some small way I can help others feel that same happiness and love. I understand that everyone's situation is unique but I know that the Lord knows and loves us all individually. If you find yourself in a situation like I was in please reach out to the Lord and to loved ones. I have been amazed at the love and support from both friends and strangers and I want to reciprocate that to others in need. I am more than happy to speak directly with anyone that stands in need of help!
Zach I absolutely remember you. Crazy how time flies! I really appreciate you reaching out with such positive feedback. Great to hear you're doing well. I hope and pray things continue to trend upward for you. You definitely deserve it. Hope to see you around soon!
Even though our young men are encouraged to serve a mission, it's not for everyone to finish their missions. I think the Lord is extremely proud of who you have become, rather than what you have or have not done. We have such an amazing Father in Heaven who loves us so much!
Jake Green my brother is coming home tomarrow from his mission early. Thank you for this message.
Jake Green I went through a similar experience. I left the mission after a few months. After several weeks homes and in counsel with my priesthood leaders on what to do, I returned. Many people could have assumed that, when you go home early, that you were unworthy or weak. These were not true, in my case, and were not true in yours either. I am glad that you have found peace and understanding surrounding this difficult situation. The Lord has infinite wisdom and mercy. It is most often our finite minds that fail to grasp how much he loves and cares for us. It took me a long time to get over feeling bad about leaving my mission, even though I was able to finish. God bless and good to see you didn’t give up the faith.
Jake Green
Revelation 2:19
I know your deeds, your love and faith, your service and perseverance, and that you are now doing more than you did at first.
Jake, thank you for sharing this experience with us. My husband and I let our son know that if he serves just 3 months and feels that he has to return home, that we love him and are proud of him. But it's been over 7 months in Alaska and all is well. Hold onto the iron rod. Proud of you.
iam a convert to the L.D.S. church. I was A Hells Angel I had to trust God to make it through my Mission.coming home early only you know in your heart. The Answer .I served ,2 years see I knew nothing about the Gospel of Jesus Christ I learned on my mission.Iam eternally greatful.the average baptism in England for 2,years was 4 total.i was blessed with over 100 baptism why me.just blessed I have a strong conviction of the Gospel of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.I know it is the truth Gospel of Jesus Christ
I know Christ lives and loves all his children I so Testify in his name even Jesus Christ Amen
My husband came home early for depression a year before he and I met. It was very hard for him, and sometimes still is. I have been praying for years for the Church to talk about this more.
Thank you for your story.
Did his coming home early affect your courtship or how you viewed him?
It didn't have an affect, but that's because I had a friend (who I did date briefly) who came home from his mission early for medical reasons as well. I learned through this friend that the Lord will bless missionaries for their service, no matter what length.
My husband told me on our first date that he had come home early. Of course, I was fresh from breaking up with the other guy and my initial thoughts were, "Not another one." I feel bad about that. As we got to know each other better, I asked him if he felt like he had fulfilled his mission. He said that he got an answer in a prayer that he had done his duty and to move on with his life.
Of course, there were a few people who thought I was the reason he wasn't going back on his mission, but that's another conversation altogether.
He is a wonderful husband and father to our little girls, and very hard-working. He does still occasionally struggle with the fact he came home early, but it has lessened as time has gone on.
I love when the church posts stuff like this online. I never even got to experience the excitement of opening up a mission call, walking into the MTC, and eventually into the mission field. My depression and anxiety got the best of me, and I never got to go out. These messages are truly inspiring. They remind us that we are all children of God who have our own struggles in life, and that we cannot judge someone because they stumbled differently than we did. We all have different experiences, and we all need to be there for each other. God is perfectly capable of taking a bad situation and turning it into something great. I've realized that God knows I can be just as effective as a member missionary and home teacher as I would have been as a full-time missionary. I'm so grateful that the church shares these inspiring messages.
I feel with all of my heart you are not letting God down.
This is JUST FANTASTIQUE! No matter if u finish or not, you still a great person, look at the great blessings that the Lord has given you so far in your life. God speed brother. We have still a lot to do.
Amen, brother. God is more interested in us moving on than looking back. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Overcoming sin, weakness, hardship has the same formula--look to Christ and never look back!
Beautiful. For years I gave myself a letter grade for the type of mission I served. My faults, my weaknesses, my struggles. I finally realized it was not my place to grade myself. It was God who gave me the grades. His grade for me was MUCH higher than mine.
I have a lot in common with Elder Green. I too was called to a southern states mission (Mississippi) and I too came home early from what was supposed to be a two-year mission. In my case, I last about two months and I didn't start out depressed but rather became too ill to finish. The depression came after, and it sure hit hard.
A lot of the same feelings Elder Green shared in this video, I felt similar feelings. I'm the oldest of three boys and at that time, it had been five or ten years since my small California ward that I was living at the time had sent out a missionary, and I felt like I let all of the above, plus my parents and God, down big time. It controlled and tormented me for ten years of my life.
What finally saved me tragically was the death of my uncle-in-law a few years ago. The ten year anniversary of my entering the MTC was coming up and I was really feeling low and dreading the day. I'll never forget, I went to sleep the night before the anniversary, and the next day my wife woke me up with the news that her uncle had been murdered. In fact, it was a big murder story for a while up in the Salt Lake area. At that moment any sense of self-loathing over my "failed" mission left me and all I could think about was my uncle-in-law and his family.
We flew out to Utah for the funeral and the spirit hit me so strong that whole week. It finally hit me that every individual person is on a different path, and so many times, both in the church and out, we fall into the trap of determining our worth on what other's do or think or say, or many times as the case usually is, what we think other's do or think or say. I was called to a mission called life, and I'll be released when I die. I don't know when that release day will be, but till then I have to do my best to be a better person, learn and grow in the Gospel and bring my own soul back to Christ. If something I do or say helps others come back to Christ, all the better. I'll share the Gospel with people I know or run into and I'll try every day to know my Lord better than the day before. That's my mission, and that's OK.
Thank you so much for sharing this... I just recently got released after 3 months of service. At first, I felt optimistic, wanted to do better even after I'm released, but slowly it's been starting to hit on me, overwhelming feeling of not doing what the Lord wants me to do...
But now I'm reminded that my calling never ended when I got released from my mission or never started when I was called as one. It's my lifelong mission to love others and share the Gospel. 💕
Yes, it's okay, enough, and worth it.
I'm 18 and have been struggling with a lot of emotions regarding a mission. My main concern is my depression... I'm not 100% sure that I can stay healthy while out on my own... And having to even face the possibility of coming back early has me terrified to even put my papers in. But this video was truly inspiring... Thank you so much, Jake.
Any work at all done is a benefit. There doesnt always have to be a tangible outcome. Sometimes just being present physically is enough to benefit someone else. Depression isnt an easy thing. There are many helpful tools. Read different scriptures. Maybe book of mormon in the morning one day, the next morning, old testament. Bodyweight drills during a mission can help stay in shape. Maybe play chess\go with assigned companion, which will teach critical thinking if someone chooses to debate the authenticity of book of mormon. Also realize that sooner or later someone close will always offend or let you down. Thats a normal part of life\marriage. At conference, Pres Uchtdorf said, essentially, if there were a perfect woman, why would she pick me? Its essential to not beat yourself up. God knows we fall short. That is why Jesus came, to atone for us.
It's your own decision if you should go or not. If you do not go, IMHO, you aren't short changing God, or Jesus. They would understand.
It's not an easy one my friend. Depression is real. But the worst thing is regretting not giving a try
Thank you all for your comments. I think I"ll push through with a mission in the future after I finish my associates degree (I'm a few credits short). So probably after I'm 19. And yes, I plan on being very upfront about my several issues. Whatever happens will happen... I just need to keep the spirit with me! Thanks again y'all!
Better to come home early than to have never tried. No shame is coming home early, it's not early if that was when you were meant to come home.
Somehow I felt something of why I returned to this video. Because I hear nowadays that member of the church retuned home early from a mission and/or didn’t serve because of medical reasons. Especially mental health. I have this feeling that this generation has gone soft. Maybe our members of this faith too. I mean why are they anxious, or scared? God should be on their side as they have been all of their lives and should be protected by Him!! As a covert baptized by age 18 and didn’t went on a mission, because I didn’t took the faith seriously til I came back with Real Intent! I should’ve went on a mission! But what matters now is progressing and thriving in this faith!! And now, if people stop feeling sorry and start believing in God more, then they won’t able to experience anxiety, depression and/or suicide more!! Because were believers of God and Christ!! And That way we can believe through the Impossible with God!!
You did serve a full-time mission, even though it may not have been a 2-year mission. I struggled with the same thoughts after I returned home 6 months before my 2-year mark, also because of depression/anxiety that I'd experienced to a degree in the years preceding my mission. Then one day, as I was struggling with similar feels as you expressed, I realized that I had in fact served full time for 18 months.
Like you, I've been able to move on. I've been able to marry, have children, obtain a graduate degree, succeed in my chosen field, and continue to build my testimony of Jesus Christ. Thanks for sharing your story!
As a Senior missionary serving with young Elders and Sisters I know just how difficult a mission can be, especially if you are not 100% emotionally and physically prepared. It is not a failure to realize where you are at that moment in time and do what is best for you and your companions. We all have different challenges. Some are just more visable than others. What is important is that you continue forward, which you obviously have. Congratulations ! ! Not only that you get to look forward to a mission with your sweetheart when the time and circumstances are right. Always a silver lining and rainbows.
As a different kind of soldier in a different war I had to accept a medical retirement.
You had the courage to face a terrifying reality.
You had the courage to take that to your leaders.
And you've had the continuing courage to live a great life.
See a thread here brother? Courage
And now the courage to share a painful episode so that others may be strengthened.
Thank you!
This is one of the most sincere testimonies I have ever read! You are a good person! You have a very pure heart. What a beautiful wife and family you have! You have eternity to do missionary work for the Lord! Take care...and enjoy your wonderful life!
Thank you, Jake, for sharing your experience and testimony. As an RM who returned home early, this was a great reminder to me that (even though it's already been over a year) we really need to let God into our lives. We need to show Him that we can keep moving forward regardless of what comes in our path. We need to call Him for help, and He will be there.
I came home a year ago in early September from the Provo MTC. I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. Nothing bad will ever happen from going on a mission. I was in the MTC for 5 days. It was hard. But I learned more about myself and the lord than I would've elsewhere.
I give my sincere thanks to all of those who like Jake step forward and share this experiences. Brother, you help me know I´m not alone. This inspiring message is God sent. Depression is hard to live with, I know that first hand. Loved the priceless focusing you had on the solution rather than dwell on the problem. Remember brothers and sisters, you are not alone!
oh my goodness: my mom showed me this video on Facebook because she wanted me to translate it (we're Chilean and she doesn't speak English), and I couldn't do it immediately as tears started pouring. I am facing a hard time with depression, I quit my job as an English teacher, and everything felt overwhelming; I felt just like you described. These months have been awful to me and I couldn't (still can't) understand why. I am dealing with psychologists and my parents' support has done a lot, but actually I want to thank you for sharing your experience. I am now called as President of the Primary on my ward, so I know which kids God wanted me to guide or teach, that I am able to serve him, that I can do more and be happy about it.
Thank you so much.
It's great to know you still moving forward with faith in the Lord.
wow this was beautiful! I came home early from a mission and have been on and off the path for the past 4 years I've been home. I wish I could tell this elder that him not knowing he has touched hundreds if not thousands of lives with this video. its good to know the lord will love you regardless of what you choose. elder green your an amazing example of faith and not giving up! Thank you for your example and I'm sure our father in heaven is proud of what you've done!
+Boyce Fitzgerald thank you! that means alot!
I hope you will come back to full activity. Heavenly Father wants you to be able to partake of the full blessings of full fellowship in the church. He loves you very much. Also, please don't feel you are unworthy of a good LDS girl or even just a good girl. The Lord makes us fit for the kingdom, we don't come that way.
Thanks Jake for your experience, the Lord knows our hearts better and most of all understands our capabilities, and he does Love us even in our imperfections, and wants us to strive through out our lives on earth. Hope to all future missionaries and those who are unable to serve.
Dear Brother Green, thank you for sharing with the world something so personal and special to you! In my years of membership in the Church, I have known many Missionaries to go home early or not start their missions at all. I admire you and your courage. Now you can be like me, a member missionary!! Sending you greetings and friendship from Western Australia...
Hello Catherine. How did you become a missionary? I want to become one myself. Thank you so much for this inspirational message.
Hello Thomas! I have only just seen your message. Please forgive me for writing back four months later. Thank you so much for your comment. Are you a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints? I am a member missionary. This means that I can share the Gospel of Jesus Christ by bearing my testimony to others. I can invite people to Church. I can hand out one of the most precious books known to mankind called "The Book of Mormon" out to strangers, family or friends who are not members of the Church. I can support my local community by donating food or clothing to the less fortunate. This is some of the ways that I can serve as a Missionary. I hope that you are well and happy. May the Lord, bless you dear brother. Kindest regards from Western Australia...
Catherine Correia
Thank you for that wonderful message. How are you doing today?
To any early returners out there, try a service mission! I returned home early from proselyting for similar reasons here, but I am finishing my service in a family history center. It is so fulfilling.
You are really awesome ! I think its more common even now for missionaries to return home because they don't feel they can continue or realize its not something they wish to continue and in so many places they can be looked down upon but if people like yourself decide to come back heavenly father has given that free agency and as you can see he had a plan for you all along ! you're awesome and this was a great testimony !! May Heavenly Father continuously bless you and your family !
#SCCMAlumni (11-14) I went thru a similar process, but was blessed to go back out 10 months later. Because it was one of the hardest, it was one of the biggest blessings in my life amd testimony. I'm glad the Church is reaching out more towards this challenge.
your Vid choked me up, man. It took BIG cajones to decide to go, BIGGER to call your Mom & Dad while at MTC. I admire your bravery & courage. Watching this Vid, you made me Proud of you, man. That smile on your wife's face as she looks at you, and the smiles of your children as they look at their Father are priceless. You inspire me, brother. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing. This is exactly what I needed to hear as a parent of a child struggling with wether or not to go on a mission. I want him to be successful in life but now I'm thinking that him staying and moving on with his life will be the best for him. I feel like I have my answer that I have been searching for.
Thank you for this Jake. You are such an inspiration. What a great reminder that at the end of the day what really matters is deepening our relationship with the Savior. I was really touched by your message.
This warms my heart in a way I thought it never could be.
Being an ex missionary doesn't make you a better person. Believe me...I came back with honor and now I don't even go to church. the key is to be a better person. great video
I never served a mission, never had a calling. My wife and daughter arent into it and dont attend. The other week role call went around in Elders Quorum, and my name isnt on it. Adult male with zero priesthood. I dont pay tithes because wife doesnt want me to. What i have found is that many of the roles and activities are outcome based. I dont worry about outcome. i focus on learning and being. I show up on sunday because the LDS church is interesting. Im not concerned with the truth, because that has never been an issue. The LDS Church has always been divinely led, always will be, doesnt matter what my opinion is on it, it just is. And likewise i am free to be a part of it. Right now my "calling" is to clean the ward on saturdays. I speak in church during meetings, not led by me, because im allowed. I think its enough that Jesus leads the way and there are so many different things to learn about in the LDS church and so many different types of people. Sunday services in the LDS church and really at anytime, are comforting to me. Its enough that i like LDS.
What a wonderful story. Serving a mission have been the hardest thing I've ever done, through my time, many of my companions return early home. I have PD (Panic Disorder) and suffer depression, even though I finished my mission, I was always tempted to quit and go early as well since the beginning. Sometimes I'm enticed to think I didn't return with honor because of my weaknesses on the mission field; several panic attacks and depression episodes restricted me from giving a 100%. I easily understand those who go early home since my companions, and my own circumstance. God knows what he requires from each of his children. Thanks for the video.
Big ups to you bro for finishing till the end despite having to deal with depression. Shows true strength on your part
He and his wife have the opportunity to serve a senior mission. The fact that he was physically unable to finish his mission is not something to be ashamed of. He imparted a very important message and that is to let Heavenly Father into our lives and to ask for His help.
I returned home from my mission in West Africa about 3 months ago. Just about 2 months out I started getting extremely sick which lead me to a brutal depression. I was sick for just over two months with an extremely serious illness. Coming home was rough, it seemed like I let my family, friends, and God down. For a while I started blaming god for allowing me to suffer so long in such a developing country. But looking back on it, I learned more about myself while being miserable and sick for over 2 months, than I may have learned in 2 years healthy. I learned about my strengths, weaknesses and how to handle hard situations. God does not have a "one size fits all" path for everyone. If you came home early from a mission, for whatever reason, you served the lord in some way-- there should be no shame in it. Best thing you can do is work to better yourself and come closer to god. Keep fighting brothers and sisters.
thank you for sharing your wonderful story. I'm glad you're moving forward and that you have a beautiful family! You're a great example of not letting those small things define you and dwelling on it. you've moved on and made a great husband, father, priesthood holder, and example too many. thank you again!
Great video. I'm sure glad the LDS Church posted this. Sure there are many who have gone through that experience. Being a parent of teenagers, missions have come up in our discussions. I tell them it is their own personal decision if they will serve or not. I tell them I would support them 100% if they go. If they don't go, I would do the same.
I am blunt about what I experienced-the desire of some missionaries to become District, Zone Leaders, and their ultimate goal to be Assistant to the President, and how they undercut others, would expect us to be obedient to mission rules, yet they were the ones who broke them. I share with my children the beauty I experienced in the Dominican Republic. Even when returning home after 2 years, I was still doubting if I had made the right decision to go, along with anger, regrets, etc. I've come to the conclusion, that my mission experience was for myself, and that I'm on this earth to better myself, for my own happiness, to help and not judge others along the way-regardless if they serve a mission or not.
Thank you for addressing this topic. As an early returned missionary myself I haven't been able to find a lot of resources from the church about it. I hope there will be more videos like this soon.
None of the current first presidency served a mission as 18 y/o to 21 y/o elders. This matters, it shows that while serving those two years is important it's not the determining factor in a church members long term growth as a member in good standing.
I love this definition of missionary. Missionary-Someone one leaves their family for a short time so that others may be with their family for eternity. In heaven, we might promise our friends in heaven we will serve a mission and teach them the gossiple. Look at it in internal perspective. I will serve a mission. I know it will be the hardest thing I will ever experience and the scariest. I know that it will be worth it at the end. I have God with me every second of the day. I am working on doing basic thing to be closer to him even when I am so exhausted from school. It's hard sometimes, I will keep working on it all through my life. The knowledge of the gossiple we have is a such a blessing. Their are people out on the world who are literally looking and search for the truth. Who will die to know the truth. Like why are we here? What is the purpose of life? Why do we have families? No one understands me. Why did someone I love die? Is there a God? Why doesn't he help me in the situation or hard time I am in? Those answer I know for sure, people will do anything for those answer. I am so grateful for the gossiple in my life!
I came home from my mission early. I now have 6 children, and a great life. The anxiety hit not in the mtc, but when I was in Uruguay and later California. I didn’t know what was going on, other than I knew I needed to get back home. 20 years after my mission I had to face the feelings I stuffed down for all of those years. I had to love myself and let go of any shame. I see now that God gave me a weakness, to build empathy, patience, and love. This life is one big lesson.
Hi Nate, thanks for sharing your experience and perspective.
I had to return early from my mission for some serious health issues. I can definitely empathize with you in how big of a struggle it was. I must admit that it took my quite some time to learn to put my life in our Savior's hands, but when I did, a lot changed for the better.
I'm sorry for the hard time to went through. I'm right there with you, buddy. The Lord truly loves us and does what is good for us.
GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES.
I recently made the decision to return home early from my mission due to clinical depression. It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made. Thank you so much for this video. It has helped me so much.
stay strong!
Having the ability to communicate now with loved ones will help. I believe my daughter would have been able to stay
Thank you for creating this emotional video. My son returned early from his mission 6 months after leaving, and as a mother I can understand his story completely. I have empathy and understanding for those who come home early. Friends and family were loving and kind and did not think any less of my son. We wrapped our arms around him and asked him how we could help him to move on and be successful in life- and with love we never looked back with sadness or regret. We just moved forward with faith and that is what I would hope for anyone in this situation. What got us through was knowing we should never be ashamed, and that there are worse things in life that can happen than coming home early.
My mission was the most important 2 years in my life. That being said, I've learned in my 41 years on this planet to not judge others. We simply cannot understand what another is experiencing.
This is so touching. I completely understand where Elder Green is coming from. I served for about 5 months in Madrid, Spain. I felt like I had let everyone down, both in my mission area and back home. At the time, I had NEVER heard of a missionary coming home early. I genuinely thought I was the only one in the whole world. Since then, of course, I have heard a variety of stories and even met some of those people. For the first 3 months back home, I constantly felt obligated to go back because 'that's what everybody else said I should do,' even though I wasn't in a fit state to do so. I eventually came to peace with it after a long conversation with a less-active friend who started coming back out. He simply asked me 'what do YOU want to do?' I hadn't thought about that. I hadn't even thought about what God wanted for me. So I prayed that night and asked if I should go back. I then had an overwhelming feeling that those 5 months were indeed the mission I needed to serve. A year later, I had the wonderful blessing of visiting Madrid to witness the sealing of a family I helped teach. I will be forever grateful for those experiences I had during that relatively short time-frame.
Daniel, thank you for sharing your personal experience and insight, and thank you for your service in Madrid!
Thankyou for sharing your story. Unfortunately there is still this huge stigma about missionaries coming home early. I'm happy that the leadership of the church are spreading awareness that it's not just because of disobedience but real mental emotional conditions which sometimes cannot be helped and that doesn't lessen a persons value.
After having children, instead of feeling joy, I felt depressed and unable to be the mother I had always dreamed of being. It's been hard to let go of that "ideal" that I always thought I'd have. But in the last few years, I've come to better accept that my experience has been different, but that doesn't make me a bad mother or a bad person. I love the question, "How are you going to get up and move on?" because I have gotten stuck many times in looking back. But at some point, I began looking forward and that was so helpful.
Way to go Jake! Thank you for sharing!
I believe that some young people are not ready at that age. Bless his heart.
This is such a great story!! Love this man and I know his Father in Heaven loves him too.
I've experienced that sense of overwhelming feeling and anxiety. It feels like I want to cry and when I do cry, I can't stop. And I find it dificult for me to control myself. But I know that my savior is always here for each and every single one of us. We are heavenly father's children. And when we mess up, it's okay. Because we can get back up again and try again. And those little acomplishments you make on your way to that process, it makes you happy. And I know and can testify that yes, WE ARE GOD'S CHILDREN IN HEAVEN. When we help each other, it's because we are brothers and sisters.
I recently came home early from my mission after serving for fourteen months. I relate to what was said in the video on such a personal level. So much of what was said was exactly what I said or thought. I have been truly blessed that there have been so many videos and initiatives like this one about early returned missionaries that have helped me get through some of the hardest parts. To know that I'm not the only one who felt the way I did. I really appreciate the openness and honesty, as well as the well put together video. Thanks so much.
Thank you, Brother Green, for sharing this very personal experience. Thank you for the hope and spirit it inspires. I've been in a similar experience in my life (and I"ve known others that have had a similar experience, too), and this was a hopeful message that gives me strength.
This was wonderful and a comfort. Such a needed video. Thank you.
True stuff deppression is rough
Years ago, a missionary assigned to the Cincinnati Mission had a very difficult time with anxiety at doors, depression from being unable to qualify LDS teaching with the Bible, and left early. I saw him and his companion go to doors, and whenever Bible questions would come up, he would panic. He could answer questions about the Book of Mormon and D&C quite well, but whenever investigators would ask him how LDS beliefs could be explained from the Bible, he was stuck. I don't know the facts, but he came off as one of those kids who didn't want to go on a mission but did so out of a sense of obligation (and/or pressure) and was woefully unprepared for the reality. Even from what I saw, his knowledge of the Bible, like that of a lot of missionaries, was nowhere near the level of his/their understanding of LDS texts, and it took an incredible toll on him when people asked questions he simply could not begin to answer.
Mental health issues are really serious and if one has it then they are not fit to go until they have overcome it. It should be noted that one must not feel guilty for not going because of mental health issues. They are excused just like if someone wasn't physically fit to serve because of physical health issues. Anyone who is not fit to serve must seek to serve in their own respective areas of residence and must be embraced and supported by all.
I served a mission but was medical released. I have a vertigo and I never thought that it will be my downfall. During my short time in the field, I tried to think past my dizziness, and just try to work and love our investigators but human as I am I succumb to my illness. I prayed for strength, I fasted for strength and endurance, but I succumbed. My health is in balance, I'm seeing stars during work, a split second block outs that I'm a second to a serious injury. I remember, I talked to my mission president when the Salt Lake Missionary Physician advised me to go home, if I failed as a missionary, if I didn't return with honor. I was afraid to go home and scared of what the members in my branch will say. My MP told me, NO, you are called somewhere else.
I've realized that my next investigator was actually my sister....
That was 6 years ago and rarely up until today I ponder if I was too weak... but I find comfort of the fact that God indeed has a greater plan for all of us if we only ask for His guidance.
It just goes to show how hard the adversary works on our missionaries.
Sometimes it's just biology though. Depression is a real medical condition. Saying it's Satan doing this to our missionaries implies that the missionary should have just somehow tried harder to overcome, when really they need medical help for a medical condition.
I did not mean that at all. I'm sorry that that is what you took from my comment.
We love this message
I left my mission early 9 years ago, not for medical, just because I was stupid. I quit. My mission president, parents stake president, and brother tried to get me to stay. I don't know how to forgive my self. I don't know how to make up for my mistake. I regret it almost every day. This decision has sent me down a path I don't want to be on. This video is wonderful and inspiring. But I can't fix my mistake. I can't right the wrong.
Brought me to Tears, I;ve never served a Mission due to my Personal Fears, i thought that i Wouldn't be a good missionary due to my Phobia of Dogs, i didnt want Members to think i didn't like them, cause i never went to there place, of Not Knocking on a Door, all cause of One thing, DOGS, I always thought i was selfish as a rersult, and maybe i was, but this video bought peace to my soul.
One thing I know for sure is that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of peace and love, hope and courage. Press forward with that steadfast faith in Christ :)
I stuck my mission out despite serious bouts of depression and other mental issues that I now realize were caused by a very subtle and sophisticated form of schizophrenia. I also knew that if I came home early, I'd never hear the end of it from myself and others. Strangely, I sometimes think I was a bad missionary even though I was an excellent missionary (ask Elder Ringwood of the Seventy). I WAS bullied, however--or rather, I allowed a pointless nickname to carry on throughout my mission which I deeply regret allowing when I was a greenie. I thought that if I pretended the nickname didn't bother me, other missionaries wouldn't find an excuse to use it resentfully. I was wrong; others used it as a form of resentment, often intonating the nickname in a spiteful manner. And there were other things: companionship issues; the fact that the "bar" was then only recently raised (whatever that means, for I have found little improvement in the average missionary); not to mention my own struggles to learn Korean and learn to love the food (which grows on you by the way--Korean food can hold its own). It was just a tough, TOUGH experience. Maybe being honorably excused from even having to serve a mission would have been the wisest solution for me. Too bad the mental screening was not as in-depth as it is now. They might have identified a problem I have only recently begun to understand.
I needed that so badly tonight. Thank you.
What a powerful testimony! Thank you for share!
Each of you who has come home early, open your calls and realize that it said we expect you to serve for a period of time. It didn't say you will serve for that period of time. Also when I was released, I was released as a 'full-time missionary'. I wasn't released from being a missionary.
I don't know what I think of this video. What message is it sending? We all know there are individuals who have health, emotional, or family reasons returning home from missions. I would say that some issues are more severe than others and if they are able to be treated to the point that the young man/woman can return to the mission field, then great. I don't think we need to highlight individuals returning from missions no matter the reason. I would say as a return missionary myself that missions definitely can be difficult at times. Anxiety is common among missionaries because it is challenging work. It requires the individual to grow and stretch to overcome those challenges. I think a video like this just opens a door of justification for prospective missionaries to return home when times are hard. 'If you have a bad day and want to quit, go ahead, Jesus still loves you.' I don't think poorly upon individuals who return home early, no-one should. That being said, we shouldn't dismiss the life lessons that can come from a missionary who overcomes weakness and stays in the mission field or at least gets the help needed in order to continue. Missions are hard, they are supposed to be. There is joy found in service but no-one said it would be easy or come without some discomfort.
God brings peace!
Thank God! I'm a Christian - a non-Mormon - who grew up in Utah. I've witnessed first-hand how the "Return with Honor" simply corners every person into the role of Saturday's Warrior. If you grew up in this city, you'll find that the pressure to be a fictional character infiltrates the junior high schools, the high schools and makes every kid feel as if he/she is worthless unless they serve a mission and have a girlfriend who will faithfully wait for you. Heaven forbid that you don't have a girlfriend when you graduate high school. You're deemed a loser. You're dishonored. The type of person you are really doesn't matter. Did you serve a mission?Do you realize how groundbreaking your video and testimony is? It's revolutionary. You hit the nail on the head! I praise you for keeping your focus on what God wants from us as people, and everything you say and the pain you went through empowers your message. You sacrificed nothing and stood up in the light because you remain true to your God and Savior! I am speechless, and may God supply all your needs in Christ!
thank you.
Wow. Thank you so much. I didn't have any problems with my mission but I did have with something else and whet you've said that we need to get up and become a better person just REALLY helped me
This was powerful. I returned home early for health issues. I felt the same way. :)
Thank you for sharing your beautiful journey with us ♥️
I am willing to obey God, and trust him. He doesnt promise happy days all the time
the bad days are here to make the good days better
you're not the first or the last missionary to have those feelings. what would have happened if you stuck it out? hard to know really. maybe you can help prospective missionaries with these feelings. i wondered what i was doing on a mission. experience in these kinds of situations was to stick with it regardless. God came to my rescue. i just needed to give it a chance be patient and have faith. i was 48 years old when i got married. i thought was never going to get married. but God came to my rescue and i got married. there were challenging times in my marriage where God came to my resuce or i would be divorced. so what i learned was to stick it out and do my best. never give up and realize work hard and be close to our Lord and Savior.
My brother had to return home from his mission two times, but for a different reason. He injured his back and couldn't do the missionary work. He was so sad to come home both times, and when he went back after returning the first time, he didn't even look back at us when we took him to the airport.
I'm still struggling from depression and a bunch of suicide thoughts until today. But when I watch your video, it tells me I'm not the only one who struggles from it. Thank you for giving me a heartfelt inspiration. And thank you for your example.
Aaron Kim on youtube has beautiful videos on this topic..you will be encouraged. He struggled with what you do. Please check him out.
I think he's wrong: Elder Green IS serving his mission, as we all are, and he is serving it beautifully. I also think he's right: there is no room in God's will to ask how to change the past, because the past, though crucially instructive, is no longer a direct part of our decision-making existence, and questions focused solely on the past can do nothing for us but, as he said, hold us back. Like some others here, I finished about 75% of my expected time, every moment of which was valuable. I was blessed to be offered an additional form of service. The knowledge came to me as I went that even if it were an inferior choice to leave, and a loss, yet it was, for good and ill, my choice to own. And I now keep that confidence in my ability to freely choose as my rarest prize.
Thank you....
I was sent home due to the mental anxiety I experienced and the heart problems. I told myself that no matter how hard it was I would not come home, until my mission president actually suggested it. After thinking and praying for a week, I knew my answer was to come back. I knew that everything that I had been doing was good, and that now was the time to stop, for my own health. I got a medical release, but it didn't matter. The members back home didn't give a crap why I was released. The members did not care what I went through. I was labeled a failure by my bishop and by most of the members. Even my stake president. The people of the church (at least where I live) are not good people.
I love the His Grace series, thank you so much for making these videos!!
My perspective is that it is hard to go out on a mission and it’s hard to not go out. Missions are opportunities and not everyone is available to take that opportunity and that is acceptable to the Lord. It could be a timing issue and the opportunity will wait. If it’s a worthiness issue then use the opportunity to get back in tune with the Savior and then revisit the opportunity. A mission should never be approached as a “all or nothing” decision. God doesn’t hang all of your worth on this decision, but I would strongly advise anyone to not pass or accept this opportunity lightly. Fast, pray and make it a decision between you and the Lord. Whatever you end up deciding to do, take him with you.
I came home due to spinal surgery. I was stunned by the alienation I felt. Some wouldn't date me because I "didn't finish"; however, I was honorably released. I even had some clown from the missionary department call and attempt a guilt trip, and even he was saying "no woman will ever want to date" me. Fortunately, he was not a General Authority, and after some correspondence with the head of the missionary department at the time, it was settled satisfactorily in my mind. I'm grateful to the few who greeted me with open arms, but the others who looked down their noses at me really surprised me.
Henry, we're so sorry for the challenges you faced returning from your mission early. Your service is known and appreciated by Heavenly Father and those you taught and loved. You have much to offer the Church and those around you. We wish you the very best!
Thank you!!!
I served a two transfer mission in Saint George for 3 months and it was the greatest experience even though I didn't plan on serving for only 3 months
Thanks for sharing your experience, Coulter. Your service as a missionary is valued and appreciated!
Thank you
haha this is my teacher in church! So Cool!
love this, thanks for sharing your story.
I think you're one of the lucky ones. I wasn't allowed to come home early. (I tried) I've regretted going on a mission ever since. To this day I feel it was the biggest mistake of my life. I truly feel that I mocked God and I'm suffering the consequences.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you so much for sharing!!!
Beautiful story. Thank you for sharing.
THIS HAPPEND WHEN WE FELT THAT THE MISSION IS A COMANDMENT MORE THAN A DESIRE OF SERVE.
Thanks for sharing.
I got homesick and worried about getting sent home from my mission if I do wrong one more time. I've been struggling too hard while serving in the family history mission in Salt Lake City. Then I will serve another church service mission at Mesa MOC and Gilbert MOC for a year.
Sending hugs and love. I know so many people who went through this. SO MANY. Have you thought about starting a support group if it doesn't already exist?
thanks
Jake I went through the same thing but I finished the two year mission. It has been 25 years since I have been home. I no longer am with the church and struggle with a family I truly love and parents that are still in the church. The reasons are many but the big one now is the how the church views gays and lesbians. My step daughter is lesbian and I love her regardless of this. The god I believe in doesn’t put a struggle like that in front of people just to “test” them. Especially when so many people are committing suicide because they are to scared to come out to there families. This is just wrong, and until you start to think for your selves and stop listing to these people telling you how these people are bad sick and wrong I am afraid you all have lost your way.
Thank you. I loved this video, it is more than I could ask for