Swedish Death Cleaning WORKS! How it compares to decluttering
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- Опубліковано 16 тра 2024
- The differences (and similarities) between Swedish Death Cleaning and a standard decluttering process might surprise you!
Watch this video to find out how Swedish Death Cleaning WORKS!
xo
Angela
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#decluttering #swedishdeathcleaning #minimalismlifestyle
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CONTENT OF THIS VIDEO
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00:00 Intro
01:28 Ways Swedish Death Cleaning + Decluttering are the same
02:11 Ways they are different
10:34 Which is better?
10:58 Outro
MENTIONED IN THIS VIDEO
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SWEDISH DEATH CLEANING PRINCIPLES:
• Swedish Death Cleaning...
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I’m doing the SDC method right now. But for those not doing it or not ready to do it, here is an idea that worked for my family. My In-Laws, whose home was full of antiques & family heirlooms, told all the kids & grandkids that if there was anything they wanted from their home, they were to take a sticky dot, put their name on it and stick it on the back or bottom of the item. If more then one person wanted an object, it would go to the older person and to be passed on to the younger person when the time came. After my Father-in-Law passed away, my Mother-in-Law started giving the items out to those that wanted them as she wanted to downsize. The remaining items will be distributed out once she passes away. We all know who will get what and there have been no disagreements within the family.
That is a great idea.
Wonderful, thoughtful idea! I love it! ❤️
That’s a great idea. Like the way of settling who gets things if more than one person wants an item.
My mother-in-law did this with us and his sister. It was a lovely way to handle the family heirlooms and she still had them to keep her memories alive while she lived.
That reminds me so much of this episode of Gilmore Girls where Emily wants them to put a sticker on everything
The biggest takeaway I took from reading the Swedish Death Cleaning book as a retiree is that it is MY responsibility to get rid of my stuff and not leave it for my son to deal with. I’ve read and watched lots about decluttering content and this book was a nice addition to my thinking.
Absolutely! It is such a little book, but the content is powerful!! ❤️
That's ridiculous. A person is NOT responsible for getting rid of anything in their home while they are alive. Sure, it's a nice thing to do for descendants but it certainly not mandatory. On the other hand, there is no legal requirement for a child to empty a house of a parent after their death either.
@@carollynt Not what I said or meant. Read the book.
@@carollynt
What Swedish Death Cleaning is about, is making life easier for yourself without so much clutter, but also making it easier for your family after you have died.
No one said that it's mandatory, and no one said that it's a legal requirement for a child to sort and deal with all the possessions of a deceased family member.
It's just a thoughtful and caring thing to do. Especially when you consider how many people hoard and hold on to possessions for decades of their lives. It makes it difficult for grieving families when they have to deal with a house chock-full of stuff as well as processing their grief.
I started SDC at age 55. It has been overwhelming and a lot of hard work. I have done it, but I am extremely glad I did it while I still could, not 10 years from now. I love my house now!!!
Great job working through it!! ❤️
My mum passed a month ago x
Dealing with her stuff has been so traumatic and emotional for myself and dad😢 so I've started getting my house in order so my children are not left with huge amounts of stuff .ive managed to donate or sell things and will give the money raised to charity.
I’m sorry for your loss Julie! Prayers for you and your family! ❤️
I was a senior caregiver for decades and 11 yrs ago I witnessed an estate sale and it broke my heart....the lady who passed in a senior home had a huge house, kids lived out of state and one of them just hired an agent to handle the entire thing.....her used perfumes, sold for 75 cents! little trinkets im sure she held fond memories all going out to strangers or donated....That was when I made my own decision to declutter my home, I gave my kids what they wanted at that moment and Ive been living with less for 11 yrs.....8 yrs ago I saw the term minimalism, then about 5 yrs ago I heard about the Swedish Death Cleaning here on youtube and where I work now I see it all the time.....loved ones can't even grieve because they have all this to deal with...if we love our families we should not do this to them....Thank you for this video.
Wow! I can imagine that definitely left an impact on you! ❤️
I feel like the SDC method is too harsh of a term for me at this point in my life, so I approach it as “if I were moving, would I want to take this with me?”. Thinking of it in this way has helped provide clarity in what I should be keeping vs letting go
Yes, that is a good way to think about it! I agree, the SDC can feel very intense and at times harsh! ❤️
The show is awesome!! Highly recommend!
I binge watched the whole season and I’m hoping for more in the future.
One of the death cleaners is so great with helping people work through all their feelings and emotions.
She’s very kind and takes her time to unpack all their baggage.
I’m all about not leaving stuff for my family to deal with plus if you don’t do something while you’re still here and able no one will know the stories.
I will have to check it out! The trailer did look entertaining! ❤️
Thank you so much for this video. I am so glad I watched before I started down the rabbit hole of SDC. I am 42 I just need to declutter right now!!!! You are Awsome!!!!
We’re the same age! ❤️
Hey, Angela. It's funny how we've almost all been doing the Swedish Death Method until now, but now it has a name and a definition... 😉 But I'm looking forward to watching the series, because it'll be emotional in each of those people's cases, as I lost my dad from bone cancer recently, and my mom had to deal with his hoarder stuff all by herself while grieving... 😢
Oh that is really hard. I’m sorry for your loss and that your mom went through that, while also trying to grieve. ❤️
@@ArrowHillCottage Thank you, Angela. It's a process of understanding, and also always remembering the happy times. Always. It's a must.
I've been doing the SDC method for a couple of years. I ask my girls if they want an item. Whether it is yes or no, I take a picture of it and will eventually make a picture album of all the sentimental items so we/they can look at the album and remember, but I don't have to have the item anymore cluttering my house. Alot of the "sentimental items" are my memories, not my girls. I don't want to burden them feeling badly if they get rid of something because it was mine. I've lived with my burdens because of my parents and my husband's parents. Thanks for sharing. God bless you and yours!
Making a photo album is a great idea! ❤️
Love Your Teaching Style as well as All of Your Superior Content. ❤
Thanks! ❤️
and.... a new post from you lends the feeling of a Sunday to the day
Swedish death cleaning! I read the book years ago and it was the click moment for me. It really puts things in perspective. I am a mom and naturally want to make things easier for my children when I pass on. I don't want them to have to deal with my things that I put off making a decluttering decision on. BTW, great videos keep up the great work!
It really does help the process when you think about other people! Thanks for watching! ❤️
Have been Swedish death cleaning for 7 yrs. I’m 72. Easier to breathe! All decisions are made. If I pass soon, it would not be horrible going into my inventory or paperwork, waahoo! Can live easily now for as long as I go on.
Wow! You are proof that the process can take years! Great job! ❤️
Paperwork is where I'm struggling! You have given me motivation x
Excellent! One of your best ever videos. Thank you...
Oh thank you! I’m glad it was helpful! ❤️
Recently I had to declutter and donate from my sisters home , things included from mum, her MIL, our step mum , it has been painful and self cleaning is best.
Yes, I can imagine that has been very difficult. I’m sorry you’re going through that. ❤️
Thanks. Good video
Thank you! ❤️
After clearing my mom’s house, it would of been handy to understand this process while my mom was alive.
She was offering to give us things ahead of time, and not wanting to admit her end of life stage I declined. There is a lot of family history that is lost with not going through this while she was alive.
Awe, that’s really tough. ❤️
This happened to me too, and now that it’s my turn (I’m 73 and my sight is poor), my girls don’t want to address the issue. They can’t face the idea of planning for when I’m not around, and are busy with their own lives. So I’ll take what decisions I can and try not t9 burden them….
I told my son that when I'm gone, just dump everything in a dumpster except for the precious metals. I told him where the family's old photos are if he's interested. I love my stuff, but I don't expect anyone else to. He's still dealing with his grandfather's stuff after 5 years. I told him, don't do that with my stuff. It's not holy, don't save it like a shrine.
This video was very well thought out and presented. I had been in the middle of a down size/move when my mom passed away. Im going through her stuff as well as my own. So i guess I'm both decluttering and death cleaning and its a bit overwhelming.
Absolutely it can be overwhelming! Be sure to give yourself plenty of grace in the process! ❤️
We just had to do a SDC after my mother in law passed, only to find that she has all of her late husbands belongings in addition to her sisters things too!
…Now what do we do with a 3 foot tall black & white framed photo of his aunt from the ‘50’s?!
It does hurt to throw that away & she had no family, but we don’t want it and neither would a thrift store!
Help!
Oh my! That is a lot to manage! I’m sorry you are having to deal with it all at once! As for the picture…I would personally take it to a print shop so they can use their large scanners…then print it down to a smaller size and put in an album or something. That might help ease the guilt of getting rid of the larger one ❤️
@@ArrowHillCottage that’s a great idea- it’s such a beautiful portrait to end up in the trash- thank you❤️
good morning. 🌻 A+ ! beyond decluttering for those who get to bat cleanup after we depart.. for instance I have a 3 by 5 ft Clyde Butcher Everglades print -which because it's so large is not framed in glass but a poly material so which is quite big and also heavy and it cannot be left or moved in the heat because the polyglass would lose its shape... it seems easy to picture the following generation not being so fastidious or organizing to put aside the time to want to take care of it... but anyway beside identifying someone who might want these things what I'm getting at is maybe either gifting it to someone locally or selling it and then that leaves your house more barren.. -do we need to be surrounded by these/ our things till the very end? -I suppose in a way maybe-I do not have the large family that you have-
Exactly! It is kind of a reality check when we realize that the things which are special to us may not be to others in our friend group or family. I would say for something like that you could ask around and see if there is someone who would appreciate the print. If so, you can either gift to that person now or make a note that they will be the one to receive after your passing. If it still brings you joy I don’t see any reason that you would need to find a new home for it right at this moment in time! ❤️
I'll bet most kids and grandkids don't want any of the things you might think are precious. Make it easy on those who might grieve for you to not have to deal with a bunch of stuff. Take photos of the things, write down a memory associated with them, and get rid of it - sell and give the money to a favorite charity, thereby giving it real value. IMHO....
That is very possible! That is why I think it is a good idea to have the discussions about items…to know where people stand on things. The conversations have to be done in a way that doesn’t guilt a person into taking in something they aren’t actually interested in though! ❤️
💖
All cleaning and decluttering is. Fine with me !
Forward progress is forward progress, right?! ❤️
Which method do YOU prefer?
I think I was doing something like SDC, I just didn’t know it. This phase of life tho. Empty nest. The urge to downsize and simplify and well I’m likely going to pick whatever is the most detailed and thorough Bcuz that’s my temperament anyways. I’m about to turn 55. Lol. And how you go through aging changes and it makes you think more about practical things you can’t keep up with (physical strength limitations and lowered energy levels etc) like your could when you were younger.
I'm 70 years old and very recently came to the conclusion , that my husband and I have far too much STUFF. My mom called me the family historian when I was in my early 30s. How right she was! However, now we just want to be done with it. We have no children and no other family members to leave or send it to. It is has become overwhelming. We need to think of getting rid of it now. I have in just the past few weeks started moving things out of cupboards and drawers, putting them into boxes and sending them on to the local thrift stores. I've found myself picking up an item that has always been there, forever, and just walking it over to the box by the front door. It has been such a weird, yet satisfying release to just put "it" (whatever it may be) into the box and know that someone will find it at the thrift and have a use for it; maybe even love it as much as I did. I'm glad I found you. Thank you for affirming my sudden desire to let most of all the accumulation go.
That is the beauty of life! It changes! Perhaps in your 30s those same items were deemed important to you, and you could have never considered parting with them. But now? They’ve become clutter. You’ve recognized this shift and are ready to let go. Proud of you! ❤️
I just tell people that if they don't organize and declutter their things themselves, it may all get dropped off at the charity shop in one great pile or in a dumpster once they're gone.
That is a visual that can be very humbling for some people! ❤️
I told my son to dump everything in the dumpster when I'm gone, except the precious metals. I told him where the old family photos are if he's interested. I love my stuff but I don't except anyone else to. I don't want him saving my stuff like a shrine! They aren't holy relics.
also I don't know why the lines ended up through what I wrote
Ha ha!
Lol. I think it’s something to do with symbols or asterisks maybe? Lol. It’s done that to me before.
Trying to help my mom with this now. (Or trying to help my future self lol). She seems to be willing to part with things but first she tries to offer it to me or my SIL or such and we try to be kind but we don’t want most of it. I mean yah. Like Tupperware from 1975 or such even tho she has taken to using multiple to go containers for freezing and storing. And things from the past like giant stuff for hosting giant events with tons of food. This isn’t her life anymore tho.
The toxic step father is worse tho. I won’t even try Bcuz he gets belligerent and defensive about parting with most anything. Esp if anyone else “suggested” it and if he didn’t feel like he was the control freak boss of everything. Well I’m low contact with him anyways and my safety and sanity matters more than his hoarder problem and his flagrant narcissism. She’s nearly 80 and he’s 90. Ugh. 🙄
They usually travel a lot so I just go in when they’re gone and make “piles” for her to decide on. Like “recommended donate.” So far so good. Sort of. lol. I only was “strict” about one thing. I basically said well I’m not down for just rearranging clutter and playing Jenga tho and if you ask me what I want when you’re gone, it won’t be a whole lot. 😅😅 Just one of the “to do” things before I move out of state and get even more distance. lol.
For me and my son tho, it’s just basically one memory box, a box of photos and a chatzkie curio and a few pieces of antique furniture/things I refinished myself. Tho the chatzkies are more for me right now. (And it would be simple for him to give them away when the time came). 😅😅
I do think that when a person is offering to gift something, or pass it down, it is important that they accept whatever response that they might get - even if it’s a no. We need to recognize that what we deem as special or important isn’t going to be the same for everyone! ❤️
@@ArrowHillCottage So true. I def know I won’t be hosting large parties and cooking like that. And I know my kid doesn’t want all the “cat lady” treasures either. 😂😂 He was slightly bent tho when he went through some of his leftover kid stuff (bcuz I didn’t keep more of a Hot Wheels set that is now worth some $$ lol).
Sadly, Narcissists and their devotees usually have a hard time comprehending that we aren’t just like them or that we are actually separate individuals and like diff things etc. And they have a very hard time with the word NO. I guess I’m put on this planet to be “that thorn” in their backside tho with my weirdness. Happy to oblige them. 😂😂 It’s almost comical now tho. Last Christmas the narc got me a tape measure (I already have 2) and some other little cheap stuff like that. I mean really? I threw the whole gift bag and all its contents straight in the donate bin. I don’t think he even realizes what gender I am. 🤯🤯
I have to declutter before I can even do a Swedish death sweep
Well, they might be true! ❤️
Since there probably aren't any loved ones alive when I die, this method doesn't seem to apply to me.
It may be true that your loved ones won’t need to deal with the things you leave behind - but no doubt somebody will! If nothing else, I would encourage you to at least go through your personal belongings, things that you cherish- and write a few notes indicating where you would prefer that they go. Maybe you have an heirloom that could be donated to a museum, or a special gift from a friend you would like returned to them ❤️
What about my collections?
Collections are tough! I would say that if they bring joy to you and you like maintaining them, they aren’t clutter to you. But be honest with yourself if you are truly able to care for them and enjoy them. Are they displayed somewhere or in boxes? Collections in boxes are likely clutter. ❤️
They are displayed just about all over with some in closets because no room 😟
If someone told you that you could only keep 15 of those collection items ….do you know which you would choose? I’m just curious if you have definite favorites or not. Sometimes when we really think about collections, we realize that some of the items are prized possessions and the rest is just ‘filler’ ❤️
Oh that would be soooo hard to chose only 15 😞
Maybe just try it - as an experiment….take pictures of each of your favorites and print them out. Make a little collage explaining WHY you chose each to be in your top 15. It might just be a way to get you to think more critically about the other pieces you have. Just a suggestion…❤️
If we are to clean out everything we know our kids don’t want… doesn’t our home or maybe even life become very empty then??🧐
Don’t clear your home of the things you are still using and cherishing - just the excess…the idea with SDC is to get a clear picture of where your belongings will go once you pass, and not leading an enormous burden on our loved ones. ❤️
I am thinking of doing this now at 52 so my stuff will not be a burden to my wife.
Whenever you feel ready is probably the perfect time to start! ❤️
AHC =...... American Life Cleaning 🍀