Swedish Death Cleaning: What age should we start?
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- Опубліковано 14 чер 2024
- Today we talk about the book "The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning": what it is, why it's so helpful and at what age we should start!
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My grandpa passed the week before last and at his funeral no one spoke of his earthly possessions. Instead it was all about what he did throughout his life and whom he left behind. His wife, 9 kids, 35 grandchildren, 61 great grandchildren. At 94yrs old he took nothing with him but left behind loved ones and a hope in Christ. I think that's reason enough for me to let go of so many physical objects.
So sorry for your loss and what a testimony of a life well spent and the legacy he left.
Sorry for you loss. I wish I met him. 💙
This is my exact situation! My 94 year old grandpa just passed away a couple weeks ago and it’s not about earthly possessions at all! He lived a life serving others and never spent time accumulating or worrying about stuff. It sounds like we have awesome grandfathers!
I feel the same. And We've told our children, put your name on what you want, other things are being considered for purging. They understood that, and that's how we are proceeding.
A life with the right priority.
My daughter and I recently had a discussion where I told her that after I'm gone, it will never hurt my feelings if she does not find value in the same things I do. Have no guilt over any material thing. If it does not suite you, get rid of it. She said that comment took a ton of burden off of her.
That was the best gift you could have given her.
@@gardengirl4409
My mom told me that once and I am so glad. My grandma kept telling me early on this will be yours, this will be yours and there is some quilt involved that I couldn’t keep it all.
Yees
My nephew and his wife are coming to brunch this morning. I will share this with them today! Thank you for sharing a great idea.
Wish our mother hadn't made us feel guilty for not wanting her things. Last year we started sorting through her things after she passed away, and because some siblings live a distance away, we haven't sorted through everything yet.
My mother in law was a wonderful, minimal, tidy person. When she died, my ex husband went to her place to go through her things and everything was in order. He told me he was in tears of gratitude that she loved him so much she made sure he wouldn’t get stuck with a decluttering job. I want that for my family.
I have a small sign I found at a thrift shop: "Make time for quiet moments as God whispers and the world is loud". I love it!
Oh that’s good. I like the saying about prayer is when you talk to God; meditation is when you listen for God’s response.
Someone gave that sign to me as a gift a few years ago. It is so true, and when I get quiet I am more likely to hear from God.
But ... "do you need the sign"? :)
@@susansmith493 yes I do. Because I get busy, I need the reminder lol
I donated a sign that said that to goodwill. 💕😁 It is a great saying though.
When my father died, we took three bags of clothes to a local homelessness charity, donated two boxes of theological books & commentaries to a young man who had just completed his ministerial training. I kept (and still use) his gardening tools. And that was us done with clearing out his possessions. He had one of the richest and fullest lives imaginable, yet at the end, everything he owned fitted easily into the back of one car. He always said he would rather lay up treasure in heaven!
That is such a blessing. It shows how rich his life was.
I’ve been decluttering in a more “interesting” way. The past year presented me with the opportunity/necessity to live with my 94 yr old father (mom passed 10 yrs ago). In order to blend our households a “bit” of downsizing needed to happen. For the most part it was my things that have been passed on to friends, family and charity shops. Slowly my Dad has been able to see that owning 11 potato peelers was 10 too many and has finally started letting go. I have a Goodwill truck coming for the 8th time since November. More to do but the car fits in the garage! Woohoo!
LOL!
I can relate.....I'm currently going through my Mom's stuff. The "11 potato peelers" is something she would have done. Your comment made me chuckle......blessings & congratulations on getting the car in the garage!
Too funny with the potato peelers. I matched up all pots, pans and storage containers. No match and they got pitched. I was amazed at what was just taking up space.
Awesome! 😊👍🏻
I desperately need to do that. I have five generations of stuff. Trying to honor my family and be smart about re-distribution!
My husband passed away 2 1/2 years ago. He was a collector of stuff. He was relatively neat about it….however there was a lot of stuff he enjoyed. He was a wonderful man who helped so many people. Everyone knew to ask him if they had a problem with fixing things or solving problems. It was so hard for me to think about going through his things. My daughter-in-law helped me deal with going through my sweet husbands things by saying…….when “Pop” was alive he helped so many people…..now it is time for us to help him do the things that was hard for him by donating, selling, or throwing away his things. That short but very wise comment changed my attitude entirely. I knew from that moment on I was still helping my husband. I will always be grateful to my daughter-in-law for saying that to me. I hope this helps other people.
That totally rocks!
Thank you for this comment Patricia. It made me tear up. This is such a helpful change of perspective for me
Wow... What. A wonderful testimony. And, a blessing of a daughter- In-law
Great way to look at it. Great job.
"Do I want to move this?" has been my version of Swedish Death Cleaning . Associating the labour involved with physically hauling an object from one place to another (ie lifting, wrapping, boxing, labeling, lugging, instructing, transporting, unboxing, repositioning, and then the maintenance in the fictional new home) has helped me question the attachment to the useful/liked item. (Hope this helps someone.)
I’m moving across state lines and “do I want to move this” has been my decluttering mantra 😂
Yes I had to leave a bad situation with my husband and had to pack everything I could and leave my home not knowing if I’d ever be back. That definitely gave me a new perspective on what I valued most of my personal possessions.
I was able to return a few months later and realized much of what I had I did not need. Though I was glad to have back a few things I would have lost.
So yes, asking if I would move an item is a good way to declutter for sure!
That's my core question too. Had the most stressful experience moving out of a shared living space with flat mates who didn't take responsibility of their own things. Made me resent exess stuff and to a certain extent, people. I'm never getting myself in that situation again.
Plus paying someone to move it. I am planning on moving in the next 2 years and this has helped me get rid of "what if" items.
I had a rare internal bleeding happen May and it almost claimed my life at 27 years old. I'm thankful I keep crying out to God for help because he worked though the medical staff to save my life. However the experience give me a whole different outlook on life. I don't want stuff, I want the extra time with my family, children, husband and friends. I try to make the memories count now.
🙏💞
You’re lucky to be alive. My husband recently passed from the same thing.
I'm only 32 but have lost a lot of loved ones of all ages. I am doing this right now just in case. Not with heirlooms but with *stuff*. I don't want anyone to have to go through a crazy junk drawer of mine. Also... get a home management binder and passwords and bills and banking information together. Preparing in case you die will not increase your chances of dying. It's just smart. I love your channel! Mom of 6! Sooo much stuff...
Doing that also makes the daily managing of everything easier. My parents have always done it and I guess I've picked up on it lol.
Very wise to have a home management binder. Doesn’t even have to be death … accidents, serious illness are other reasons someone may have to step in and access info and finances.
An attorney I met probate once that told me that people that have their affairs in order think that’s all that’s needed but she recommends they keep a special “love letter” for those people to read after they’re gone. Leaving them a wad of cash is nice but it doesn’t say “I love you” like sweet words on paper.
A couple additions to this binder should be combinations, keys, and probably a few more to include that are personally unique.
I've also made an "In Case of Death" folder. It includes who to notify, my assets, my debts, my wishes, and my will. No scrambling necessary. Take the stress off your loved ones.
At 40, I was hanging onto a lot of stuff. At 45, I donated it all. I am much happier! Also, I did not have a choice in my parents stuff. My brother and sister took it all before I arrived, as I live out of state. I have since then, kept the memories. I did go purchase an antique blue and white pitcher that was similar to what my mom had. We used to cut flowers and put in on the table. It was my job. That is all I need- memories.
My sister did much the same when my father died. I didn't want most of his 'stuff' but I would have liked the option of keeping a few of his books, especially the older ones. She got rid of everything within days and before I could get there (from abroad). It still hurts.
I was lucky. My sister and I went thru our mom's things together. We each kept a few things, and we gave a ton to people who helped my mom after my dad died.
@@tracyburton3458 I'm so sorry
I'm so sorry 😞
After cleaning through my Mom’s things after her passing, I did not want to do that to my children. Very painful situation. That is what started my need to put my house in order. I have made a small tote for each child of special items that may have meaning to them at that point. ♥️ Makes life so much easier for living my own life right now. (I’m 66. 😊)
Such truth and great you’re doing this. I know after doing my parents home how important it is to thoughtfully go through our “stuff” regularly. 🙏🏻🇺🇸
Same here, Jane. My Mama passed away when she was 48 years old. I was pregnant with my 1st child.
As I was cleaning her stuff, I said, “I don’t want to do this to my children.” With less stuff, I am less stressed. The tote is a great idea.
That’s a beautiful idea. Thank you.
Everything y'all said today was so helpful.
During Covid I cleaned out our attic, I pulled everything down. I lined everything up and took pictures. I texted the pictures to my kids and let them choose what they wanted. I donated probably 90 percent of their stuff.
It felt good to have that done , my kids won't have to deal with it when I'm gone.
Also at my age I have no business being in the attic.
We have lived in our house 43 years so there was a lot of stuff. The house feels lighter and cleaner, less stuffy.
It helped me get through quarantine and keep busy .
I feel you.. I am working toward that lighter feeling in my house. Each small progress feels like a weight lifted.
@Teresa Bell °WOW!!! Congratulations 👏 What a huuuge accomplishment. You should be so proud of yourself 💞
Fabulous idea to send photos!
Amazing!!!! Good job!!!!
Drowning is one of the top deaths in children…the time on swimming lessons is totally worth it!!
Love that question … ‘Will anyone be happier if I save this?’
I normally watch your videos with my AirPods, today however my husband speaks up and said “wow, I really like how she said that, I can relate” …. I paused for a second took a deep breath and we discussed it. I have been on this journey & have slowly been bringing him over. Today, He finally had his aha moment. Now it’s time to really put it to the test.
@Diane Kreuzer ° 💞💗❤️💓💞
A Catholic priest I'm friends with says "Sit down, shut up, and let God love you" as his version of that verse from the Psalm.
Love that!
Great! Thank you for posting that!! My adopted brother (in heaven now) would say something close to that!
Just now it felt like he was speaking that into my head❤️
(ps... he was also a former pro- wrestler 💁🏻♀️!)
I like this interpretation!
It’s funny what’s important. My husbands Opa died a couple of years ago and everyone was welcomed in the house to pick something to keep. We picked a metal handheld nutcracker. It’s small and we only buy nuts during Christmas, but it’s so nice to think of him whenever we use it.
I also liked the concept that if someone came to clean out your house after you passed on would they know what you valued? Would it paint a clear picture of your heart? Or would it be lost amongst the junk?
Im not sure what I value much matters after im gone. I hope my kids keep memories and not vases or anything really except maybe photographs. But the photos are mine, im sure there's a lot of pictures of people they won't even know...lol
If THEY value it, they should keep it.
My meaning was that I value my children over things. That my heart would be thinking of their time and energy. That they might find how much I loved them in not leaving them too many things to deal with.
@@betho6159 very nice.
Oh my goodness, THIS is genius! 🙌
Wow. I love this! Profound
Years ago, my mistake I made by telling my daughter that I was doing the Swedish Death Cleaning (SDC) was she thought I was dying of something. Sooo when discussing this with family members, maybe leaving out the name of the process might be best. Of course, I quickly told her I was just de-cluttering stuff and wanted to share what I was getting rid of in case she wanted it. LOL My de-cluttering (SDC) has made me feel much better about my life.
I’m constantly decluttering. I’ll ask my daughters to look at what I’m getting rid of snd see if they want anything but they rarely do.
It's also called Death Decluttering. No, I'm not dying imminently, either, but I am living with a disabling condition. I have been getting rid of stuff for awhile. I don't want to leave this burden on my children. I am also going to downsize to an apartment from a 3500 Sq. Ft. home. Yeah, I've got my work cut out for me!. Good to approach this subject 🙂👍
Way to go, Holly! I’m working on that for my children and grandchildren & plan on downsizing our home in the next few years, as well.
“Who has slowed down so that I can whisper to them?”...that’s so beautiful 😌💖🙏🏻
I live in Arizona. This week while I was decluttering my house I came across 7 of my grandmothers collector state plates that I have had for the past 45 plus years and in a cupboard above my refrigerator, forgot I had them. I asked my cousin that lives in North Carolina if she would like them. She said she would love to have them. The next day I packed them up and mailed them to her. She was so happy to receive them and I felt so happy that I didn't have to take them to the Goodwill.
My grandma had state plates! She decorated her kitchen walls with them and had almost all the states, as she loved road trips. I have fond memories of those plates. My mother has them packed away. ❤️
At 35 and with stage 4 cancer this is something I am doing now. Not that I expect to go anytime soon, but it worries me that my family will be left with all my crap!!!
Sending a hug from NZ
Since I have no children of my own I’ve been very conscious for some time ( I’m in my 60s) that there is no one who will treasure my belongings after I’m gone. This has encouraged me to try to divest myself of excess so that my nephews and their wives, who haven’t really been a big presence in my life, don’t have a huge job ahead of them. I know from when my sister and I cleaned out our mother’s two bedroom apartment that even the smallest, tidiest places contain a lot of stuff!
I’m in the same situation @ 63 yrs …. my fantasy is that my prize possessions will end up in a good thrift shop(s) and a mother and daughter walk-in and decide they can’t pass up something they find of mine, just like my mother and I did, together, on so many occasions. ❤
@quicklykay That’s a good way to think of it
Yes!! That’s exactly why I am trying to embrace minimalism! Not that I am dying , but I do not want my kids having to deal with so much stuff once I pass on!
We have no children and are nearing retirement. We want to travel! We can't do that if we keep a bunch of junk. We are going through more and more stuff. It will take a while since I feel guilt at getting rid of stuff I bought.
Linda Steinbrenner this is exactly how I feel too!
Yes, I too don’t want my children to have to deal with a lot of my stuff once I’m gone. Plus the decluttering process has been very healing to me in so many ways as I go. Plus as an extra bonus, I’m not as impulsive for buying things. (As the bible states…the things of this world are growing strangely dim) which is good for me because my eyes are more on the things of Heaven these days.
@@royalone3009 The things of earth growing strangely dim, comes from an old hymn 😊👍
@@judylloyd7901 thank you for letting me know 😊 God bless
My experience clearing out the homes of two sets of parents has motivated me to have fewer things. So many of their things that they expected family members to keep and use ended up being donated or put in the garbage. We need to remember that most adults already have everything that they need. We want to make life easier for those we love and easier for ourselves, and managing fewer things is way easier. Many thanks for another great video!
Totally agree. Slight twist. Our grdmother lived to be 101yrs. About age 95 she went to assisted living. Asked for certain items that would be useful and member able. While mother and aunt waited for her to die, we went and bought items. So at death items given or throne away
@@laurahodges3615 memorable* thrown* away 😊👍
The Swedish lady uses her experiences of clearing parents’ homes to ask ‘ why would you do that to someone if there is an alternative’ -hence the term Swedish Death Cleaning !
My mom could not have predicted which items each of us might value after her death because it wasn't the item itself that mattered, it was the memory it represented. She died suddenly, leaving a shocked family to deal with a large house full of family history and heirlooms. Five generations had lived in the house, so you can imagine what it was like. We discovered that the oddest items became the dearest treasures - things that may not have been obvious to anyone else. A funny mug that someone gave my grandfather as a gag gift one Christmas reminded us of how he laughed. A set of little fancy juice glasses reminded us of how my mom called them 'special glasses' when she served the grandkids a Dr Pepper. An old trunk that my great-grandmother had in her bedroom made me think of my time with her. I'm not sure that it is particularly useful to guess what your kids will treasure until they are much older and find meaning in looking back on a life of shared history and memories.
This is true. When my grandmother passed away I wanted her plastic yellow mixing bowl...it reminded me of helping her in the kitchen when I was little. She left me some other things, the "expensive" stuff that everyone thinks of, but I wanted that mixing bowl and I still use it all the time.
My grandmother had a gold colored teaspoon every grandkid liked to use to eat with..when she passed that is all my daughter wanted and received...
I leave my finished books in a cafe or in my hotel room when travelling, with the hope that somebody will give my item a new life .. i see my book as going on an adventure .. the content of the book is the treasure i have enjoyed, not the paper itself, and i come home lighter .. just a thought when parting with stuff .. think of it as offering it an adventure and imagine the new owner being excited to have found it .. life is movement .. keep it moving .. 🥳☀️😍
As someone who worked as housekeeping in a hotel, your book left in a room will probably be put in lost and found. If not reclaimed in a short period it will most likely go in a dumpster. Much better to give to a library or charity.
Underrated comment. I love this 😍 adventure book idea.
@susan p .. i leave a note on it saying - this book is on a journey .. i sure hope hotels have the common sense to give purposed lost and found items, especially books (perhaps not clothing, etc.) to charities or libraries instead of throwing them in a dumpster .. let me know what hotel u worked in so i can write to them ;-)
Little Free Library!
@@susanp7432 Some towns and cities have book swap shops, where you donate books, and can buy secondhand books for a reduced price.
There are also places where you can donate your unwanted books and take books for free.
There is an old drinks fridge out of a shop that is sitting on an empty section in our city, which is filled with books for that purpose. It's a great idea, and the fridge keeps the books from the weather 😊👍
Your Sunday vlogs are my favorite! I'm downsizing & my son said 'I'm glad you are getting rid of this extra stuff, feels right." In a later conversation I said I'm leaving my Fiestaware dishes to my sister who also has some collected. My son said "Oh no you're not. I've eaten all my meals on these dishes my whole life. I associate these dishes with you, Mom. I love them." It was awesome to know that I showed my family love through cooking & family dinners and he got that. So guess who'll inherit my dishes? 🙂
The flipside of Swedish death cleaning is also important to remember! Surround yourself with things you truly love, appreciate and enjoy... those will be the items your family remembers you by. "Is this an item I want to be remembered by for generations?" 🤔🤭🤷🏼♀️😁
I get such a kick out of the look on Dawn’s face when Diana tells her she’s bought something. Especially something like an eye massager 🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂 that startled blink from Dawn was everything 😂😂😂
$69 sounds stressful to me!!!🤣🤣🤣
😂
Thank you for bringing this message. I am in the process of going through ‘stuff’, trying to make the right decisions. But in reality, my children do not want my stuff….they want the memories. I look forward each Sunday morning to your soothing message and so appreciate the ending prayer. 🙏💞
It is very good to start swimming lessons young. Being able to swim is very imortant.
Thank you for clarifying that swimming lessons are NOT bad. Please don’t minimize them from a busy schedule. Water safety is important. Yes, you kids can learn to swim without them, but they so do teach other skills that will allow them to conserve energy and how to help others who are struggling in the water.
Yes!! I'm always grateful my mom took us to swimming lessons.
Very important for everyone to learn to swim. And important to have a quiet space for the Lord. Always enjoy your Sunday morning chats!😙
Think it was just an example of reducing your load.
I agree swimming lesson are #1 in saving lives. Parents are second defense and lifeguards are 3rd. As an instructor i can sure tell the kids that started out as babies 🧡❤
Some of us live in arid climates where there are no bodies of water and swimming pools are rare or illegal because of drought. Kind of puts swim lessons at the bottom of my list of financial and time priorities for my kids.
I’m 65 I am already a minimalist but I dialed up the letting go in the past 2 years. I think Swedish Death Cleaning is more useful than other methods. Stuff I wanted to keep 5 years ago is leaving easily now.
When Dad had to go into the hospital near the end of his life, his doctor warned us that Dad could never live in his apartment again. We knew, if he survived, he would be in long-term care. My husband volunteered to clean out his apartment.
It was the second week of the month and he only had until the 31st. Since he worked nights on a rotating schedule, he worked at Dad's apartment every day he had.
My Dad had been born during the Great Depression. He was a ginormous hoarder!
My poor husband refused to ask my opinion because he knew that I would have felt guilty about getting rid of Mom's favorite pan or Dad's thirty bath towels. He made so many trips to donate Dad's stuff! Dad also had quite a few hymnals and books that belonged in a pastor's library, so we donated a lot of items to Dad's church.
We didn't tell Dad because we knew he would be upset. It wouldn't have changed the decisions we had to make; knowing what was happening would have upset Dad at the end of his life.
Dad only survived another three months. We were glad that his end was peaceful, without the stress of knowing all his possessions were gone. It would have been far easier on us, though, if he had donated a lot of his 'stuff,' like I had begged him to do two years before he died.
Same here... sometimes he'd drop off the trash & bring stuff back to house.. lol
Spoosie Oopsie, what a wonderful husband you have!
@@tngirlz4622 I agree 110%!!
I'm at the point where empty corners of negative space thrill me! It breaks me greater joy than finding the perfect piece of furniture or decor to fill it up. Every corner that I create gives me such a satisfying feeling. My eyes really enjoy the additional resting spaces in my home.
Yes!!! I love seeing the empty spaces now. So relaxing.
I am so thankful for the things I've learned about myself during Covid. I enjoy my own company. I enjoy cooking, cleaning & bible reading. I enjoy staying home fasting, walking & praying. I love going to see my sister in the nursing home & of course my children & grandarlings. I've enjoyed simplifying my life to live a better life. Thank you ladies for your videos that's been so helpful in keeping life simpler & real💖💖
Another way to slow down (if you or a friend has a pet) is to take time to pet, share affection or play with that pet. Animals have a way of distracting us and calming us down. Just a thought.😎💕
I love this!
Our son moved back closer to home & I can't tell you the joy of petting his Black Lab Bandit. I brush him & talk to him. I tell him He's so handsome & smart....oh how I find myself smiling & happy! ☺
Totally agree. Two summers ago we adopted a little dog. Best thing I ever did. Every day that weather permits I give him at least 20 minutes for a walk - I say it's his time but really it's my time to get out and enjoy nature too.
This helps me all the time to help get into the moment. 😊
When a close relative passed several years ago, the family had to clear out her house. There was an abundance of stuff. An overwhelming abundance!!! At that point I set the goal to make sure my family did not have to face the same burden. With your help in 2019 I got more into the minimalism journey. It’s those moments where you think”do I want my family to deal with this when I’m gone?” So bit by bit things have been donated , sold or tossed. You can still enjoy what you treasure. But seeing how things can change so fast in our lives tells me it’s never to soon to start.
That’s exactly what happened to me! I do t want my family to have that burden!
Ditto!
Trust me. I’m a grandma so you need to just trust me on this. 😂Swimming lessons are essential for children!
I'm just an aunt and I agree!
I cannot stress enough how important swim lessons are!! When my oldest was 2 we bought a house with an in ground swimming pool, I felt it was essential for him to learn how to swim. Even if you don't have a pool swimming is such an important skill to have, good job Diana! I also wanted to say that I will be 49 this year and I have thought for many years that I don't want to leave behind all my stuff for someone else to deal with. Both my parents hold on to everything and there is no convincing them otherwise...good luck to my brother and I!! As always thanks for your videos, I always appreciate them :)
So agree on swim lessons. We have had several 4 year olds drown in retention ponds in this area recently (wandered off from parents and in the brief time before parents noticed missing, they managed to drown). I’m 54 and have always been minimalish. My mom is 87 and will not let go of things and it drives me nuts. She at least has downsized to 1200 sq ft senior apartment from a much larger home but has it just packed with “just in case” and aspirational stuff and furniture. It feels to me that her stuff is more important to her than giving me somewhere reasonably comfortable to stay when I visit so I dread visiting. Anything she decides to part with she saves for my sister and I to look at and it’s stuff goodwill would probably even trash. We’ve taken a strategy now of asking for stuff we know she doesn’t need so we can declutter now instead of later. It seems so deceitful but if she thinks we want it she is usually fine parting with it. I’m dreading the clean out after she is gone because we will also have limited time with her being in an apartment now.
Totally agree on the swimming! It's never too early to start. My sister and I took her first child to lessons at 6 mos. Babies take right to it! One of the best things my mom did was make sure I could swim. Years later one of my fav activities was swimming laps.
I agree 100% swimming lessons are vital!!!! Children drown daily in the US even with supervision at times. Everyone should know the swimming basics from a young age no matter how busy life is.
I’m sorry your parents hold onto stuff like that. My brother, sister-in-law and I were responsible for cleaning out the 4000 square foot house, and apartment, full, I mean FULL, that my mother left when she died. It was absolutely gut-wrenching to deal with all of her stuff while mourning her death. Please tell your parents they will spare you much pain and heartache if they start decluttering stuff now, while they’re alive. I hope they listen to you. Maybe you and your brother can start asking them for things, and declutter them instead of keep them? 😉
Decuttering is a lifelong journey, not a destination. I started doing the Death Declutter after my husband's death and still working on it. All the while, I kept thinking why did I keep this stuff? It should have been decluttered long ago. Most of what I kept was bought to use "someday." I wish I could go back to my younger self and say, "Be frugal. Only buy what you need now. Tastes change after decades."
"Death Decluttering" is great for those people who have never decluttered before and have suddenly been enlightened. Even after doing it, time passes and you will need to declutter further for the life you are currently living.
Last year I had a health scare and got a bit obsessed about decluttering. I live in France, my family are in the UK, I didn’t want them to have the stress of sorting my stuff. My health is good now but I continue to declutter as there are so many benefits. Thanks for your channel! 🙏
I have been doing this for 3 years. I have told my daughter and daughter-in-laws I put stuff on the dining room table for a week and if it’s still there on Saturday morning it goes to goodwill. Send a text to all of them and let them know I have been going thru and decluttering. I inherited my in laws home and will hopefully be able to clean the attic this summer. Dreading this project
Listen to a pod cast or audio book while you work. Plan breaks and have yummy treat ready.
One bite at a time! Be sure to enjoy your summer, too, though...especially if you live in an area with long, cold winters!
Great project! Good on you!
@Wendy Cox °You can do it!!!! 🥳 We're all cheering you on. Listen to all of Dawn's videos, Cass from "Clutterbug" & "Do It On A Dime"... You'll get a lot of inspiration. Good luck!
So I should clarify on the attic. We have lived in the house since 1995. There is a not so good wooden ladder from
The garage to the attic. We bought the farm and house from my in-laws and they never cleaned out the attic mainly because you have to be an acrobatic to get up there. I have no problem getting this clean and getting rid of the stuff. It’s going to take my husband and grown kids to get on board to help me. That’s the “groan” lol. Thank you all.
My mom made sorting through her things so easy. She kept her things so nicely stored and clean. She had stuff, but not tons of needless stuff. I’m trying to do the same, at 76, but it is time and energy consuming!! Thank you so much for these very encouraging videos. I finally get it!
My Mom decluttered and simplified all the time, but the last five years of her life she really downsized and talked to us about what we wanted. When she passed it was so easy for us. We discovered that she had written our names on the back of different items. That brought smiles.
It’s in the stillness and quiet that we hear God’s voice, not in the busyness of every day life. St. Padre Pio pray for us! 🥰😇
I have read Swedish death cleaning, I have it right next to my desk. The reason I related to it was because I didn't want my daughter to feel like she had to keep every thing after I die. I do not want her stuck in that loop. So I have boxes that family are to come pick up NOW out of the stuff I have that they want. If they don't pick it up soon I'm donating it to charity.
“You just need a drink of water.” Well said. Could I have some of that Living Water please? Thank you for sharing, and pointing people back to Jesus. There’s no other place to find peace. Blessings!!
Amen, such a beautiful prayer from a beautiful heart ✝️💞🛐
About after a year iam getting this decluttering down sure does make a difference I can slow down
There are 6 siblings in my family. Mom passed last year. There are still items to be gone through. Years ago mom had us write down what items we were interested in. By the time mom passed I realized I didn't want to fill up my house with items from mom....her style is not my style. So I gave up my items to be given to my siblings....no regrets at all!
Just want to say, good job Diana! Of all the things you have to do, driving the kids to swim lessons is one of the most important!! Swim lessons teach lifelong skills that save lives and introduce an enjoyable way to get exercise. On the list of priorities, I think swim lessons are very high on the list.
Yes but they don’t necessarily need lessons to learn how to swim. Both my children taught themselves very early on. It’s also how many many ppl learn. It doesn’t need to be “taught” especially in such a rushed time frame
@@originalnutrition
Okay. 🤷🏼♀️ My point was that Dawn actually openly ridiculed her sister for taking time to drive her child and niece to lifesaving swim lessons! Weird.
We all have different comfort levels in the water. I think it’s good to have swim lessons to teach proper form and learn how to respect others in the pool.
Agree totally! Swim lessons all the way!
Agree, even if it's an inconvenience for mom for two weeks. No need to have ongoing swim lessons summer after summer. Two weeks of learning proper technique will give them a lifetime of water safety. They improve on their own each time they get into the water, IF they have the proper technique taught to them. Remember, this isn't merely being able to stay afloat type "swimmimg." Saving yourself, particularly in a large body of water requires actual swimming, horizontally to the shore until you can get to a place without undertow so you can begin a slow turn vertically toward the beach. Your kids will not always be with you, or not near your town. They DO go off and do things on their own far away from you. Spring break comes to mind. Two weeks for a lifetime of safety? You betcha that's a GREAT time investment. DEFINITELY better than spending that time decluttering.
My Mom was such an organized minimalist all her life…things got out of control as her cancer progressed over the last year or two. It was heartbreaking to me that while on hospice; days before dying, she was so stressed out about her clutter and excess. I promised her that we’d get it under control when she was feeling better. It’s truly amazing how our excess can destroy our inner peace.
I love you two together. Your videos help me so much. We just did empty our parents house the past few months. I was there when the man who hauled the leftover stuff to the dump. It was really terrible watching that happen. Now we are ready to put the house up for sale. All of the family is upset but none of us want to buy the house. We have to let it go. Thank you so much for all your videos, prayers and sharing your family with us. PS: I would have brought everything they had home with me but since I had decluttered my home before this happened. I brought a very few things home with me. Thank you for that.
I love my decluttered life! I had an impromptu 4th of July get together at my home, I had 4 hours to get everything ready. It took me and my daughter 30 minutes to clean and tidy things up and had a nap before everyone came over so I was refreshed and ready for them. Before decluttering it would have put me in a panic. My house stays so clean now. Thank you for your channel and continued encouragement to stay organized and minimal.
Having cleared out after my husband’s parents and my own I know without a doubt that I want to leave a very few things for my children to deal with. When my husband can’t decide whether to let things go I just ask home what our children will do with it when we are gone so I think we had already started on English Death Cleaning.
We are in our mid/late 60’s and it is definitely time to thin out the possessions, it takes a lot of energy to do it so I don’t want to leave it to the point where we need to downsize, I’d rather do it now and make the next move as easy one when the time comes.
Same here.
I gave my 13 year old the option this year of spring /summer baseball or no baseball. He opted for no baseball and I was so relieved. I know a teenager tends towards no schedule and would rather do nothing, but his option was not that. It was being tied to a schedule, or being free to visit family and travel. We chose freedom for our family this summer. What a burden lifted for me.
I'm 66 and 20 years ago I was still gathering but now I want to get rid of alot. I think each person knows when it's time.
My oldest sister is 77 n is still gathering! She doesn't purge. She's a maximalist, just her jungle of plants alone n buys additional Christmas ornaments yearly. The over abundance makes me claustrophobic. I feel sorry for her two daughters.
@@blackholesun3152 I do too. As we get older its difficult to keep all the stuff clean. I know I cant and I have sooo much to rid myself of I hope I live long enough to get it done. I have a daughter who doesn't want anything.
Now I want to purge and I only buy what I need and especially love.
Way before my dad passed away, I told him when he died I wanted his wallet. He laughed & said there wouldn't be any money in it. I to him I just wanted his license & wallet. When he did pass my stepmother gave me his wallet because she remembered me telling him that's what I wanted. I also got 3 pocket knives, one for each of my kids & one for my brother & lastly I got a few of his western shirts that he always wore. These few items I hold dear to my heart & cherish them so very much.
I was blessed with a 3 ring binder 20 years before my in laws death. So we knew for decades, their wishes. They even gave us items as the years passed. Also listed in the binder, songs to be sung at their celebration of life, all the way to the phone numbers of people to contact. What a GIFT. More info a available upon request. Kathy
My grandmother was very offended that others didn't have the same value on her belongings that she did. In her mind if you don't value this china set then you don't value her. She left us all with an incredible amount of guilt that I promised I wouldn't do to my kids. It tarnishes whatever happy memories you have.
I don't understand that kind of thinking. The fact that my 2 kids might not want--or value--any of my possessions doesn't bother me in the least. It's just STUFF. I started a few months back--on donating, throwing away, etc. Still have a bit to go...want to leave as little as possible to make it easier.
My grandmother called her stuff "her pretties"... wanted me to promise to keep her house just like it was when she passed..I refused...
I got two kids when their mom, my best friend, died suddenly and unexpectedly. They were 10 and 12 at the time. I also was tasked with going through, with them, and getting rid of the bulk of her household goods.They were able to keep anything they wanted, but the thing is, they had no idea at that age, what they would want as adults. My daughter has asked me about things after she grew up and they are gone. They were things she didn’t want at the time, but now would like to have kept. I wasn’t able to look into the future to see what might be meaningful to her then. Im just saying, Adeline is way too young to know whether something will be meaningful to her when she grows up!
My grandparents don’t give away things immediately after asking. They put the name of the person that they know would like it on the bottom or give them as gifts through the years.
Totally agree.
I agree with Cynthia. Adeline will also treasure the milk glass if she sees Dawn use it and it is not just sitting in a sideboard out of sight.
@@mistyazaleski6542 That’s a nice idea!
I thought something similar - I encouraged mum to get rid of stuff when I was in my teens/early 20s that I thought I'd never want...and now wish I had. It's different asking your child in their 30/40s. But the stuff that gets used will be the stuff that they're more likely to want.
I’ve always been minimal so it was easy to become a minimalist. I’ve been this way because my mother was not and I know my children will probably not want or need my things.
Same here. I cannot stand clutter because I grew up with counters and table tops constantly full. I am sure my kids won't want any of my things and they shouldn't have to go through a mess.
The best way to raise a minimalist is to be a maximalist! I too detest clutter of any sort because my poor mother is a clutterbug.
@@sheshickey oh no. Dawn's kids are doomed to be hoarders. :)
I read this book and implemented these changes, awhile back. It’s so liberating and refreshing.
Thanks for always sharing such upbeat, motivational videos.
(It does help us keep our spaces beautifully and peacefully “Hygge”. The Danish form of cozy and comfy.)
We appreciate you. 🧡
I want you to know what a blessing you lovely ladies are. God Bless you both
being at lessons early help kids understand about water safety. (respect for water without fear). I. grew up with a sailing dad ( an old boat) on Lake Michigan and before we could go out -we had to tread water for 10 minutes - he wanted to know we could save ourselves if we fell into the water - just until he could get to us. I have dear dear family member who live at the lake and never taught their kids out to swim and save themselves. they don't go near any water activities bc they are afraid of water. Dawns pool is a perfect place for the kids to continue the swimming. I am a big one on not getting kids into a ton of things but I will say teaching kids early really help them.
Here n Florida, learning to swim is key. Almost Everyone has a pool
Yes, the no swim lessons thing made me cringe. It’s very important for us as a family that the kids learn water safety at a young age. Living minutes from Lake Michigan and hearing horror stories will make swim safety and knowledge a must for any kid. Who cares if it’s a busy week or 2, you are doing the right thing and teaching your kids a very important skill.
@@bethanyb1760 yes agree and those videos of babies who were taught to save themselves are amazing. I think every kid needs swimming lessons. Very important and also great exercise later in life. I loved swimming laps for years. Would have never done that had I not had lessons.
Agreed. Teaching young children to swim is worthwhile, not trivial, and does not cut in on my time with God. Not sure why this hit a nerve and I recognize my defensive reaction but feeling judged.
@@rebeccayoung6247 don't worry - you are fine - this wasn't about God time in the video. Everyone comes with their own perspective of what's important and how they interpret things. You are great don't worry about others thinking. it's all good.
I am American born Swedish. Hygge pronounced (Hyoo-guh). Also referred to as "döstädning" (death) aka decluttering. Love ur videos! I cleaned my kitchen cupboards & pantry last week. It made grocery shopping so much easier!
Thanks for sharing. Love the first quote. Wish my parents had done it because I had to take two weeks to clean out my parents' home and took less than one box of memorabilia. Hope to not burden my children with stuff.
Thanks for sharing.
There are many aspects to this approach. It’s sad when you have no family to whom you can leave items. However, because we have no kids/grandkids or other family who will want items, it makes it a little easier to let go of things and minimize. Yet, it is an emotional balancing act between the two aspects. 💔💜
Maybe you have friends with children who might like your items - or much younger coworkers who you really like. Just a thought.
@@williamsmith4899 my aunt gave a lot of her things and my granmas stuff to a friend of hers with out asking if I'd like it. I would take some of my granmas items if I knew she was tossing it.
I had a lightbulb moment this week. After watching your videos and going through my home room by room and clearing stuff out I am getting to a place where my inventory is getting to a manageable place. We took our kids to Atlanta for a few days and old me would have made sure they had a souvenir each place we stopped. This time I didn’t do that. They each got a T-shirt at one place and that was it. Plus, as we were driving back home my sister texted and said she was taking a spontaneous road trip and would be visiting us the next day. My home was already well organized so I didn’t have to panic clean. Thank you for all of your tips that have helped me so much😊.
I just done my pantry yesterday....I threw out stuff that no longer served a purpose...I took out dishes that belonged to my husbands mom and that we collected over the years...we boxed it up and put it in the attic because they belonged to his mom and he can't part with them for now....I moved the shelves around and then put all the food back into the pantry...it looks so much better...I even have a place for Cereal boxes on the top shelf!! Which is awesome...they are no longer on the counter top! I cleared off the counter top and got my bakers cabinet done as well...I am so happy that I did this...and now I want to go through the other cabinets and take out everything that no longer serves a purpose for our kitchen! Next week will be the rest of the kitchen! :D Thank you for your advice on things!
Good for you! I have found that once I start, I find it hard to stop! I think Dawn discussed this in one of her videos - something about endorphins and that good feeling when you do clutter.
Thank you for the important illumination of finding a quiet corner for 30 minutes. That is the ultimate in decluttering. Internal purification is the heart of clarity and calm.
Yes, Andrea. Oh, yes!
I'm 75 and started this in earnest this year. When some female relatives came to visit I had family jewelry, photos, art they could have if they wanted them.
Such good points! I love Diana’s spirituality and that she has something to say on the channel every Sunday. 🙏
I’m dealing with my ONLY sibling/sister (she lost her husband back in February to COVID) who’s going through cancer and it’s not looking good unless God intervenes and an ill father who I have to take care of all his basic needs now. I lost my Mom 14 yrs ago and I’m the only one left around who gets them to all their Dr appointments and takes care of their other necessities. Caretaking is hard and it’s so sad to watch. 😞 I’ve had to put my own life on hold since all this started. I’m not complaining, I’m just incredibly overwhelmed at this time in my life. My husband had cancer 5 yrs ago so I’ve already been through this but he still has frequent check-ups. Please remember my family in your prayers and anyone else who is kind enough to do so as well. 😥 Thank you to whoever reads this.
Just prayed for you.❤
Receive the peace that surpasses all understanding, in Jesus' mighty name.
@@libertysalud4762 thank you so much! I greatly appreciate your kindness! 🙏❤️
Great advice ladies, thanks.
I went to an estate sale a couple of years ago at a really nice house on a golf course. As I walked through the house looking at all the beautiful items being sold, I realized how meaningless they were. This house full of stuff was all that was left of the (deceased) owner. It represented a lifetime of hard work, and those items were all that was left. It was so eerie seeing strangers sorting through everything with such little regard.
I believe God spoke to me that day about my life, and what I would be leaving behind. I hope that I will leave something more valuable than just items for an estate sale. I pray I leave good memories and a Godly testimony of my life for my family and friends.
I'm only 27, but death can come at any time. This has been my main motivation the entire time... I didn't know there was a term for it.
I cleaned a 60 year collection out of my parents house when they passed. I cleaned out my former sister in laws house when she died unexpectedly. I have been ferociously aggressively decluttering my house since.
I love the video clip of the child’s feet floating the flip flops at 7:40. So peaceful and simple.
The Bible Recap - YES!! Amazing resource!!! Takes the overwhelm out of Bible reading and it is so encouraging and uplifting.
Confession: I have a milk glass collection. I really enjoy having it.
Me too!
I also have a milk glass collection and a tea cup, tea pot collection. My niece and one nephew has already asked for some of those pieces.
And you should keep it, for as long as you like. Minimalism isn't for everyone and it won't look the same in every home. I'm very minimal in many aspects of life and most areas of our home, but I won't require my family to give up things that make us happy in the name of minimalism. We live this life once and there's no harm in surrounding yourself with the things that bring you joy :)
@@plot10homestead58 I agree. I used my milk glass. When I stop using it, I’ll pass it on
We used my pieces of milk glass for my daughter's wedding to put centerpieces in..was lovely..
I had my very first stuffed animal, Butter Bear. I had held on to him for 53 years thinking my kids would want him. None of them did so I gave him to my coworkers grandson who absolutely adores him. He was getting a baby sister this summer and he would practice diapering Butter Bear and putting him to bed just like his baby sister. Hopefully he will pass Butter Bear down one day to someone else who can appreciate him. It made me feel good to see someone enjoy Butter Bear now rather than my kids toss him after I die.
My papa (Mom's step-father) bought my sister and me a bride doll just before he died. The doll was in its own small suitcase and had her gown and a few honeymoom outfits. He told Mom to give them to us that Christmas. Mom decided that we were too young to take care of them. (I was seven and my sister five.)
Mom showed them to us then put them on her closet shelf on Christmas Day. She rarely even pulled them down for us to look at.
Finally, when I was forty (and had no children), Mom brought the dolls and all of their outfits to give to me and my sister. Neither of us had children. What on earth was Mom thinking? I gave mine to my pastor's daughter. My sister told Mom bluntly that the doll had no meaning. We both kept the cards Papa wrote.
Mom was furious but we both told her that the dolls meant more to her than they did to us. We weren't trying to be mean but neither of us wanted them.
I love this! An accountant I know says “give with the warm hand not the cold hand!” It refers to dividing assets while you’re alive, instead of dying and your children fighting over money .
I'm a minimalist and have been for many years. Whenever I am sad to donate something, I think of how many of my absolute favorite things were purchased second hand. My favorite jacket, my favorite dress, my two beautiful small Tiffany style lamps, my home (a second hand RV), my car!
Thank you for your wise insight.
I am 69 and I retired 3 years ago. During the past 3 years I have been reorganizing my home and since finding your channel I have been decluttering and getting my hubby on board with that as well. Also, in the past year we have lost my husband's step-mother and, most recently, his mother. In both cases the family has been challenged with decluttering two households. I don't want my kids to go through that so I am seriously getting rid of stuff. Dawn, your channel has changed my life and has helped me in so many ways. It is freeing to be able to get rid of things that no longer are needed or useful. Thank you!! I am in Swedish Death Cleaning mode!
I am 53 and I have started this over the past couple of years. I regularly declutter normally but I tackled some harder projects this year, old journals, cards, sentimental items. I plan to put my personal sentimental items in a box and label discard after I’m gone, they would mean nothing to anyone but me. I’ve also started photos, organizing and making them manageable to access. It has been a big project. It feels so good to have this all in order and will make things so much easier once we eventually downsize.
In a period when my life was overwhelming I would carve out alone time by taking an evening bath. I find a warm bath so soothing.
It is my ONLY alone time, I have a toddler, and I cherish that time. I need a hot bath to reset! Evidently, hot water is terrible for your skin, but it is a non-negotiable for me!
Baths are the only alone time I get, day or night (7 kids and the youngest is quite needy). I need the quiet to recharge.
Your sister is always bubbling over with Gods love and I love it
Thanks Dawn and Diana for a great video. I’ve been decluttering our two-bedroom condo since we moved in 5 1/2 years ago. I stepped up my efforts after my dad passed away in 2018. It took my two brothers and a sister-in-law two years to clear his 2-story house and 2 1/2 car garage of all our jack-of-all-trades dad had collected over the years. He was self-employed doing maintenance for various landlords and had tools of every sort, portable and NOT portable. We loved our dad. I miss him still. What was hard was the work it took to clear his house so we could sell it. We took a lot of tools to an auction shop, carried off clothing and housewares to a thrift shop, hauled a myriad of books and recordings to a store that bought and sold used books and media, and also took what we each wanted to keep. We all had busy lives, and one brother and his wife had to drive four hours or more to get there each time we had a work day.
All that resulted in my determination to not put my own kids through that. I’m parting with things I don’t use anymore and paring down to what I need as well as some things to just enjoy.
My dad was a hard-working man who never wanted to quit working. He was still doing maintenance in his 80’s, so it was very difficult for him when his health began to decline. He was 91 1/2 when he passed away and was no longer able to handle the work of hauling things away. So I don’t blame him for what we went through, but I am taking lessons from it.
My Mom when she passed, my sister and brothers and I had to go thru her belongings, it was so hard, we were on a time frame, so we had to move fast. We all kept the sentimental things we wanted that reminded us of her, the rest we had to donate, just when we thought we were done we remembered the little attic and there were boxes and boxes of photographs, it took us months to sort thru them, that was a changing point in my own life, and that is the day I became a minimalist, I searched here on utube and started to watch videos on minimalism, I never wanted my daughter to go thru this, although I have hope I have lots of time to worry about this, I just started to donate, sell, and 4 years later I am so happy I did Swedish death cleaning. My daughter is too much of a sentimental person, and I visioned her bringing everything into her garage or home, now we joke she tells me it will take her a Saturday to clean out my home… but thru this process I can honestly say I have a huge decluttering muscle…I am so glad I am a minimalist… ❤️
Another great subject. Love you both. Btw, swimming lesson and driving lessons were 2 non-negotiable things for our kids. They are skills that can save your life. Swimming, obvious with water safety. Driving, gives safe options to drive if someone gets injured, sick or drinks alcohol.
When my mother passed I realized we only use 10% of what we have. After cleaning up her home, I went home and began going through every closet and drawer in my home and got rid of probably 50% of my stuff. Now I periodically go through drawers and closets to see how much more I can get rid of. It feels sooo good!
I find it so interesting that often I watch these videos because I need encouragement in my decluttering journey, but then the exact thing said in the prayer is what I need for my faith journey as well. So thanks to both of you for that gift! PS. My Mom has been cleaning things out & giving things away (she is in her 80s) because she keeps telling my sister and I she doesn't want it to be our burden. For that I am so incredibly grateful to her!
I just found you in my feed. It is a God thing! I was drawn to your personality, but now I know why. When you referred to the Bible, then I knew... and when you prayed at the end, I was so blessed! We are sisters in Christ.❤️
I've read this book. Enjoyed your recap of it. I've been working on this for a while now. I have had to deal with my dad's, mother n laws, and husband's things. I don't want to leave all this stuff for my son!!! It is a gift to give our love ones. Love you ladies every Sunday!!! Thanks, blessings!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️
I am so thankful that you recommended The Bible Recap in an earlier video. I have been enjoying it!
"Don't wait until your dead". 😂 Love the off the cuff comment - but so very true. God bless you both, I adore Sundays with you.UK. 💕🇬🇧
I hope you never stop these videos.
I love watching them while I get ready for church. It changes my mood/mindset every morning
My aunt always says "I'll take a day off when I'm dead." She's slowed down and taken to enjoying life more in the last few years, but she still says it lol.
For me, those quiet moments for me often include watching your videos and those by other mom channels. I'm so thankful for all of you ladies who invite me into your home and inspire me. Thank you so much.
My mom and dad moved into a senior apartment last year, downsized their belongings in the process. They have also gone through everything with us to tag if we want it after they pass I love and appreciate them so much for doing this.