5 Severe Types of Memory Loss Narcissistic Abuse Causes

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  • Опубліковано 24 гру 2024

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  • @narcabusecoach
    @narcabusecoach  Місяць тому +7

    Register For the Workshop Heal After Narcissistic Abuse:
    www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/whana

    • @kerritrouble3473
      @kerritrouble3473 Місяць тому

      Danish, I truly feel as if my entire life has been one narcissistic abusive experience that leads to another. As if I have a blinking light upon my head that says “narcissists please abuse me!” I have found your videos to be helpful to me at times and I am grateful for your presence and insight. I wish I could attend your session, as I feel that I have so much to learn from you! However I have been attempting to divorce my narcissistic husband now for seven long years and who doesn’t pay me alimony…after not only being together for six years prior to marriage. Where I raised our three children (which included a diabetic type 1 son, a son who was born prematurely, not breathing and blue. He had to be hospitalized for weeks and fed through a feeding tube, and was less than a day away from being flown to the only hyperbaric chamber in the east coast of America. Three states away from the hospital and me. Since he would just stop breathing for unknown reasons and he couldn’t retain his body temperature and so he had to remain in his specialized incubator for his own life support. Once he was able to come home, he had a heart monitor- as his heart would just unexpectedly stop and he needed cpr to save his life until the ambulance arrived. He eventually outgrew that stage around four years of age. He was diagnosed with adhd, and numerous other disorders including opposition defiance disorder and his severe mental health illnesses wrecked havoc on his life, as well as his siblings and my own. As well as the many different types of counselors and doctors he had to see and that came to the house, as well as took him into the community to attempt to help him socialize with other children so he could get friends…which didn’t really happen. As well as our daughter who had an extremely heavy toy thrown onto her head by my middle son who has mental illnesses, as well as behavioral problems resulting from his mental illnesses (or so I was lead to believe by professionals for years) and I also worked a full time job late afternoon into the overnight. Sometimes not getting home until it was time for him to go to work and then I would wake up the children and feed them breakfast. Get them washed up and dressed and ready for school and then bring my boys to their school and my daughter to her school. Then try to rest a couple hours before waking up and cleaning the entire house and leaving to pick up my daughter. Bringing her home and feeding her lunch, cleaning her up and cleaning up after lunch. Then we would have some mommy and me time before it was time to leave to pick up the boys from school. I would then come home and make the kids dinner, while helping with homework and then playing with them. As well as making my soon to be husband his expected, personal five course dinner to bring with him every night for him to eat alone at work! Mind you this was after he slept literally all day every day and wasn’t to be bothered! My brother had babysat for me for free as it was his senior year of high school and he didn’t want to be home with my abusive stepdad! So he had basically moved into our house! The house that I purchased a year after living in a homeless shelter with the two boys and getting a section eight voucher which I returned! Then I was fought with, which was how I got engaged. We were married in eight weeks. Which didn’t seem odd since we had already been together for six years. After another year, the mattress plant he worked for, that he got the job as a result of a friend of mine being helpful to me. Well because of who was elected governor of the state (Romney) he had planned on raising taxes on businesses, or something to that effect. Which he didn’t want to have to pay himself, so he closed the plant he owned in the State and my husband said that he was staying with the company and as his wife I had no choice but to stay with him. So I had to quit my job. Then he was offered a position in three states..he chose the one on the Hagerstown MD, PA line aka mason Dixon line. He had to be there before us and the house sold the first day on the market for more than asking. While he was down there the company had a real estate company’s relocation department working with him to find a home for us down here. He described the house and was so excited with himself that he was getting a brand new house by relocating. It sounded nice, but little did I know…”you can’t ever go back home again! It’s never the same, time keeps moving by and months later your brother is working, and just an innocent bystander who gets stabbed to death during a fight between 30 Stoughton kids who called this one friend who showed up at 7/11 and opened his trunk and offered everyone a knife! “Because, you can’t go to a fight without a knife!” He’s (24 year old with a lengthy criminal record) the only person who brought the knife along with 14 year olds through 20 year olds to fight! So all thirty of them walked down (Reservoir Street) where my brother who had one of the people from the neighborhood that had gotten a call telling him what was going on and that he needed to come home and help defend the neighborhood. So my brother parked diagonally across the street in another parking lot for a completely different building and just stood with many other people from that building at the corner of the property…word spread fast that 30 people were walking towards them all. When they got to the entrance four people met them and the tallest of the thirty people stood out first and asked to speak to Odie (another person completely unrelated to my brother) and one of the four said what you want Odie for? The tallest guy then said he needed to speak to him because he was there regarding an incident between Odie and one of his friends. The other guy said well ain’t nobody talking to Odie tonight! So they started talking crazy stuff if they didn’t get to talk to Odie tonight. Well from what I understand they were talking to Odie and then with them getting loud and making threats, that wasn’t appreciated by the four holding their ground for the entrance to their home. So Odie kicked the talk guy in his knee cap bringing him down to the ground and said that he is talking now. He has nothing to say to him or his friends and it was stupid for them to come there making threats. The next thing they know the gang of thirty thought that they had the upper hand and started to hit the original four guys, hitting them with bricks and rocks etc. Dropping bricks on their heads. Minutes later the rolls were reversed because everyone inside the ghetto heard what was happening and came out and got involved and they started giving the thirty back the same treatment they were giving to the four.All of a sudden my brother from a bit down the road yelled he’s got a knife and everybody stopped and was looking at each other hands. My brother had ran and jumped in the air to physically punch the guy with the knife. That guy instead stuck the knife directly into my brothers heart! People started scattering and the guy who was riding with him before all of this said he saw him come down and pull his hands away from his chest and he was gushing blood everytime he took a breath. He took his shirt off and started walking down the street to the hospital. He collapsed at the corner where the entrance was and a passerby pulled him into their car and drove him to the ambulance bay beeping and the nurses came out immediately and took him on a stretcher and brought him back and worked on him for 45 minutes but because of how long the knife was. There was nothing they could do. He died and left his two year old son behind! I got a phone call and my kids and I all had our lives changed that day forever! Not only were we stuck in a bad relationship with a selfish narcissistic abuser 500 miles away from everyone. But we lost our protector too!

    • @kerritrouble3473
      @kerritrouble3473 Місяць тому

      I want to tell you so much more… but I don’t have a second right now….

    • @faizanandmama9432
      @faizanandmama9432 Місяць тому

      Danish meri khala jinho ny mujhy bachpan mea grow kiya wo worst narcissist hen or mera husband bhi unho ny narcissist bana diya

    • @narutoroxanne22
      @narutoroxanne22 Місяць тому

      So can selective loss be a kind of deterrent to PTSD?

  • @hettykoster9447
    @hettykoster9447 Місяць тому +55

    Dear survivors , try to love yourself again ….. Self-compassion is the most importantly thing ❤

    • @michaelgarrow3239
      @michaelgarrow3239 Місяць тому +9

      Hello. Thank you.
      Hard to do when you were taught otherwise.
      God bless.

    • @lauchlanguddy1004
      @lauchlanguddy1004 Місяць тому +5

      love yourself and look after number one over everything, few people can understand this but survivors can.

    • @hettykoster9447
      @hettykoster9447 Місяць тому +3

      @@michaelgarrow3239 Hi, You're welcome.
      I know how hard that is! But now I'm learning to be kind to myself little by little... there's still a long way to go. And I hope you can learn and experience that too... many blessings 🙏🏻

    • @hettykoster9447
      @hettykoster9447 Місяць тому

      @@lauchlanguddy1004 ❤️

    • @honeybadgerisme
      @honeybadgerisme Місяць тому +1

      @@hettykoster9447 Truth. Just like the oxygen masks on an airplane. You cannot safely help another until you've situated yourself properly.

  • @ecysmith6652
    @ecysmith6652 Місяць тому +15

    I am seventy years old. I have sisters who are, from two to 18 years older than me. My older siblings constantly found defects in me, and my beloved and sorely missed parents never heard about the abuse. They loved all their children unconditionally. These sisters had a way of hiding their abuse towards me. Even though decades have passed, I still feel strange because I don’t remember my life until I turned ten years old. I have a younger sister, and if we were together in pictures, I would remember her, I would remember how to place her in that moment of time, I would remember what was going on, but yet, NO MEMORY whatsoever of me. I always thought that was “normal”, yet a little strange. One of my sisters, four years older than me, still seems irritated that “I don’t remember anything” in my childhood. She remembers when she was three years old and believes I am faking forgetfulness. With your video, Danish, I finally find validation for my “normalcy”. Thank you, so kindly…

  • @lindamoore9729
    @lindamoore9729 Місяць тому +23

    I have so little memory of anything in my life, not that the whole thing was bad... except a good portion of my long marriage... but I just have no one who shares the memories with me to jog my memory of them. However, I'm so happy that I started journaling the conflicts with my husband and could prove TO MYSELF that I was NOT losing my mind. Journaling has saved my sanity, that and having left my narc husband. Oh, the freedom and peace is undeniable and wonderful. It's never too late to leave. Thank you for your videos!

    • @lauchlanguddy1004
      @lauchlanguddy1004 Місяць тому +2

      mmmm, well, I WAS losing my mind.. bigtime.

    • @honeybadgerisme
      @honeybadgerisme Місяць тому +2

      @@lindamoore9729 Agreed. Journaling helps SO much! But for me-the only grounding to sanity was talking to other people outside the home. Even about nothing at all. Just connecting-however shallowly-with a human who wasn't trying to destroy me.

    • @christinephillips3435
      @christinephillips3435 Місяць тому +2

      You are so like me I was made to feel that I was a bad person .

    • @lindamoore9729
      @lindamoore9729 Місяць тому

      @@christinephillips3435 Narcs are masters at twisting things to make us feel bad, but it shows that we are the good people because we might give it some thought as to whether that's true, while they absolutely won't consider that they could possibly be in the wrong. I'm SO glad I got away from him. 51 years was more than enough.

    • @lauchlanguddy1004
      @lauchlanguddy1004 Місяць тому

      @@christinephillips3435 bad person, I was the antichrist on steroids. dont worry, there are beautiful people out there, true gems, have one now. heaven on earth

  • @lorettajoy7275
    @lorettajoy7275 Місяць тому +15

    Only a few years ago, i finally realized that more than early childhood memories were missing. Many grade school years and even much of high school are blank or contain only a few fragments.
    This continued after high school, when i ended up with nex. Many years with him only contain scattered memories with definite amnesia.
    In one home we lived, i thought the basement was only half the size i discovered it to be years later when looking at photos of a large room w/ fireplace and my toddler's toys down there! Something/s so bad happened, that the whole portion become blocked from memory.
    In an apartment where we lived while remodeling a house, i don't remember daily events such as cooking, caring for my small children, or even that we had furniture. I later found photos and our apt was full of antiques.
    Nearly every place we lived, sleeping in bed with nex is almost 100 percent missing! In some cases, i can't remember ever being in bed for years or even the bedrooms. This is because of severe abuse, specifically in bed.
    Realizing all this made me feel like i had a "swiss cheese life" full of holes of missing time i didn't realize was missing but wanted back.
    After doing lots of healing work, memories are gradually being recovered, some from my earliest childhood (about two years old). I'm grateful for every one of them, no matter what they contain because life isn't as full without its missing pieces.

    • @honeybadgerisme
      @honeybadgerisme Місяць тому +1

      @@lorettajoy7275 So glad you are finding your way out of the old box! May your memories of pain bring release and nourishment of hope to your soul.

    • @lorettajoy7275
      @lorettajoy7275 Місяць тому +1

      @@honeybadgerisme Thank you so much❤

    • @eleonorabartoli2225
      @eleonorabartoli2225 Місяць тому +1

      Thank you for sharing your experience, very helpful. How did you recovered them? Was it with therapist? It is interesting to me that you forgot the places, for me it is just the opposite I think, it is remembering the places that bring up the memories: no place, no memory. I was surprised in my thirties? when I read my diary, so many threats I had no idea.
      So again, thank you for sharing and I wish you a wonderful rest if your life!🌿

    • @lorettajoy7275
      @lorettajoy7275 Місяць тому +1

      @@eleonorabartoli2225 Thank you

  • @demigaines5644
    @demigaines5644 Місяць тому +22

    Thank you So Very Much For Sharing This I Have Lost Myself Everything You Explained I'm Feeling This All.I Wake Up Severly Sad.My Life And Health Has Been Destroyed After Narcissistic Abuse. This Is Brutal Abuse.

    • @lauchlanguddy1004
      @lauchlanguddy1004 Місяць тому +3

      It truly is, on many levels.

    • @honeybadgerisme
      @honeybadgerisme Місяць тому

      @@demigaines5644 Your brain did the right thing trying to protect you. Healing is quite a journey! I'm glad you're here.

    • @demigaines5644
      @demigaines5644 Місяць тому +2

      @ Thank You So Very Much 🙏

  • @sarvani11
    @sarvani11 Місяць тому +6

    The abuse that my narc mother caused me has now left me with lot of phobias.... The snake phobia, height phobia, deep water phobia, fear of death, of my own or of my loved ones.... And above all the phobia of driving... I can't drive now...
    Loss of memory, loss of confidence, loss of self-worth, , loss of libido... It's only about the loss with them... I don't know whether I can get to be a normal human being in this life time....

    • @QueenofHolland123
      @QueenofHolland123 Місяць тому +1

      I was also left with many phobias (snakes, lizards...and also darkness and dead bodies).

    • @Mamabearasha
      @Mamabearasha Місяць тому

      I'm sorry.

  • @honeybadgerisme
    @honeybadgerisme Місяць тому +23

    I lost 90% of childhood. I was only "conscious" during school. Where I mentally blocked any other thoughts except school and friends. When not in school-was unable to think of school. It was Many Years before being able to connect the whole thing. I weirdly remember pretty much everything now like it just happened-but still block the bad stuff. None of that is truly valuable. Most people could never handle the depth if ilk, let alone identify with you. Useless experiences-except here! Thanks Danish! For creating this community! It is a beautiful way to heal! Knowing you are not alone.❤

    • @honeybadgerisme
      @honeybadgerisme Місяць тому +5

      O! idk if this helps-but still struggle with time awareness. And also-timelines for memories! It's like the box of memories got spilled and they're just a disheveled mess all over the floor.

    • @purushan03
      @purushan03 Місяць тому +3

      ​@@honeybadgerisme same here...lost some prominent events in my life due to the Narc dad

  • @prueaddy-z3r
    @prueaddy-z3r Місяць тому +7

    Answered why elementary school was SO painful. I suffered. I knew information, yet the stress of testing overwhelmed my already overwhelmed being by 2 raging narcissistic parents. I wanted to leave the planet so badly. Grateful today I stayed, I’m healing finally because of you and our understanding community to really let go and stop blaming me or them. Thank you!

  • @marierose8493
    @marierose8493 Місяць тому +7

    Your memory will get so much better the longer you are out of the relationship. I cannot remember raising my kids in detail..just general stuff..I do know they were my world and still are, which makes the memory loss so confounding..I didn’t drink or do drugs..just revolved my whole life around family life. It should be them that gets cursed with no memories..since that were always absent and MIA.

  • @Katyayanibetha
    @Katyayanibetha Місяць тому +2

    @8:21 That explains why I still have memories from before I was even 2 years old, because my parents were loving and attentive, and I grew up in a relatively peaceful household. I've always found it shocking when people told me they couldn't remember being a toddler.

  • @carriehunt6196
    @carriehunt6196 Місяць тому +2

    Thank you for this!! I felt like such a fool because I can’t remember so many things! Now that he had been gone almost a year certain memories are coming back in small little scenes! Flash backs. It’s so odd. I still have lots of problems remembering and it’s extremely frustrating! 32 years with a narcissist has caused a lot of trauma!

  • @kerritrouble3473
    @kerritrouble3473 Місяць тому +7

    Danish, I have learned a lot from watching your videos and appreciate the fact that you have taken the time to help people like me, who have suffered narcissistic abuse.

  • @chrissiewilken41
    @chrissiewilken41 Місяць тому +3

    Danish, thank you so very much for this video. I've just been diagnosed with loss of short term memory. I find the points that you mentioned very interesting, because I live in the moment! Thank you again! Greetings from South Africa! 🌹💖

  • @keytowomanhood506
    @keytowomanhood506 Місяць тому +19

    These side effects of being around these demons is neverending, God.

    • @Raven4508
      @Raven4508 Місяць тому +4

      I think as survivors, we should be able to take these narcs to court and sue them for the effects ...

    • @iowamom454
      @iowamom454 Місяць тому

      💯

  • @honeybadgerisme
    @honeybadgerisme Місяць тому +9

    Yes-idk if heavy beatings count as narcisitic abuse-but had a #2 accident in the bathtub around 2-3 years old. As memory goes, the water was already very cold and I had cried out to get out of the tub as I needed to "go". I could not yet get myself out of the tub.
    My 1st stepdad came in eventually and started screaming at me, yanked me up by one arm and started beating me in the air. He specifically stated, "...look what you did! Now your mother has to clean that up!" and he slammed me down on the toilet. That was the end of the memory. I believe I lost cosciousness for the pain at that point.
    I still struggle with constipation-soo many decades later! Not as much anymore, but anytime there is a disregularity to life it flares.

    • @lucialuciferion6720
      @lucialuciferion6720 Місяць тому +3

      So sorry you had to go through that, absolutely brutal. And yes, that's abuse.

    • @deeanna9024
      @deeanna9024 Місяць тому

      How horrible 😢😢😢

    • @Hawaiiansky11
      @Hawaiiansky11 Місяць тому +2

      I wonder if having bowel / bladder symptoms have something to do with the abuse. I too have chronic bowel issues, and my bladder loses control if I get stressed or scared about something. There is definitely a connection.

    • @honeybadgerisme
      @honeybadgerisme Місяць тому

      @ There can be mechanical trauma to the various muscles that control flow. There could be emotional trauma/conditional trauma. It is hard to fully fine tune that without some legit skillful medical exams. Not going to be taught in med school, that's for sure. Medical board in your state could possibly direct you to a qualified physician. Be sure and check yelp on whomever, regardless.

  • @Dr.ShaziaHanif-f8l
    @Dr.ShaziaHanif-f8l Місяць тому +12

    Very informative respected Sir!

  • @KristinaWidmer
    @KristinaWidmer Місяць тому +3

    Emotional memory loss is interesting.
    *Prioritizing survival over joy*
    This is so true. I had no capacity to do activities, that I would like to do. I am now slowly coming back to that. Slowly. It's like I have to consciously remind myself to do my hobbies. Instead of doing them automatically, because I FEEL like doing them, WANTING to do them, I have to tell myself, to do them.
    *Unable to keep up with the present moment* is also a very good explanation for this mental state. I often have to do a little single task multiple times because I forget what I did right before and being unsure what to do next.
    Again, a very good video Danish, thank you very much ❤🍀

    • @lauchlanguddy1004
      @lauchlanguddy1004 Місяць тому +1

      I could not do activities I used to love as I knew I would be mercilessly attacked. I could take up new activities however. without these and constant work I would not have made it

  • @alwayssparks9165
    @alwayssparks9165 Місяць тому +2

    I feel like you said exactly what I wanted to say, but I didn`t know how.. thank you for existing Danish to eduacte us. If there wasn`t for you I would have never known what has been happening to me due to toxic narcissistic demons around me

  • @yly5991
    @yly5991 Місяць тому +19

    I'm struggling with all of these types of memory loss still. I've been away from my covert malignant narc parent for almost 2 years. Also, another memory loss I have been struggling with is, the ability to remember what you're studying in the present.
    I tried studying, but I could barely remember anything, so I've had to put that on pause for a while longer. I desperately want to move on with my life, but I need to study to be able to have a career and a future. 😞 Hopefully I'll see an improvement here soon!
    Narc abuse and it's effects are wicked!

    • @abdulwahabsufyan5939
      @abdulwahabsufyan5939 Місяць тому +7

      I used to study for hours and hours and would wake up blank in the morning(on the day of the exam).

    • @debbievoss3496
      @debbievoss3496 Місяць тому +4

      Oh, you poor thing. I can tell that you are still young enough that you Can heal up enough that you will get your ability to study & remember!! Pursue!😅

    • @PaulaSmith-c3r
      @PaulaSmith-c3r Місяць тому +6

      Just do what you can each day. Try not to look to far forward as it causes stress. I was picking up their feelings that I am worthless without realising it 😢 It ruined my life for years 😢

    • @honeybadgerisme
      @honeybadgerisme Місяць тому

      @@yly5991 It helped me to use the study as an escape from the abuse. My "happy place" so to speak. Get tested on your learning style and use yt university to learn how to use that method to increase your recall. Some of my students-I use a pie pan filled with sand and they write with their finger in the sand for notes. Weirdly and dramatically effective to bypass certain brain regions and engage others simultaneously. If not that-there are so many others! Don't give up. You seem ready. Just learn how you learn best. That's your key.

    • @weronikaasomsson2404
      @weronikaasomsson2404 Місяць тому

      ⚠❤Children are going to disappear around the world, then His adult TRUE believers. It is JESUS coming back to pick up His people! Make Him your Lord and Saviour! Do not stay for apocalypse!❤🥹
      Jesus promised 2 000y ago that He will come back for everybody who accepted His payment ( His death for our sins)❤ He is about to remove His believers from this earth (Rapture) so they won’t stay for the Judgement.
      He loves you like crazy! He doesn't want you to stay for that! God's Grace is about to run out.❤🥹 What saves us is trust in what Jesus did on the cross: He died for our sins and then defeated the death by rising 3 days later! He made it very simple, He has done it all for us so don't add anything to it, just believe and trust Him! 🙌❤He does not want rituals, He wants a relationship with you!
      Right before He comes to pick up His believers we will witness Russia attacking Germany. Missiles hitting USA ( by Russia, China, North Korea), Fall of Freemason's Temple in Philadelphia, Alaska earthquakes back to back of magnitude 7.6 and 7.3. We will also see return of Yasser Arafat. This is all been revealed by Jesus's prophets right now.❤
      Call out to Him today, ask the God of universe, your maker, to reveal himself to you! You want to know the truth after all, don't you?

  • @sjf8305
    @sjf8305 Місяць тому +3

    since i moved away from my toxic environment in 2023 i am noticing i am suffering from all the types of memory loss. the healing process is hard i am hoping to get my ability to walk back and just get myself back

  • @shahidzeb15
    @shahidzeb15 Місяць тому +6

    Every single word of yours is so true

  • @Times-of-Jonah
    @Times-of-Jonah Місяць тому +3

    I have lost so many memories. People around me recall things and ask if i remember, and very often I don't

  • @lauchlanguddy1004
    @lauchlanguddy1004 Місяць тому +6

    yes memory is now shocking. I particularly have difficulty recalling Nouns and names.

    • @lauchlanguddy1004
      @lauchlanguddy1004 Місяць тому +1

      what memory.?

    • @honeybadgerisme
      @honeybadgerisme Місяць тому

      @@lauchlanguddy1004 Names! Yes! I've had to do crazy tricks to remembering names!

  • @samh.l2165
    @samh.l2165 Місяць тому +1

    Omg, I am going through many of these things now. Delayed Realization is EXACTLY the right words for so much.

  • @HayleyYoung-jx7bq
    @HayleyYoung-jx7bq Місяць тому +1

    You truly are the best narcissist advocate thank you Danish ❤

  • @pratibhatiwari6992
    @pratibhatiwari6992 Місяць тому +4

    I have gone through it.. extremely painful experience

  • @kryssysmith1486
    @kryssysmith1486 Місяць тому +1

    In my experience with narcissistic abuse, it was so severe that I developed significant amnesia; I literally cannot remember large portions of my childhood, teen years, and adult life. When memories from my past do surface, they’re often traumatic, and I can’t seem to shake them, no matter how hard I try. I’ve been in therapy for as long as I can remember, and I know those memories were blocked out for a reason. However, once a professional told me to 'live in the present moment.' I asked, 'How can I live in the present if my past is always with me?' Even though these traumatic events happened ages ago, the memories won’t leave me alone, no matter how much I try to process them through therapy. They keep resurfacing.

    • @Hawaiiansky11
      @Hawaiiansky11 Місяць тому +1

      Right!! These people who say "Let go of the past!" don't realize that the past has a tight grip on trauma survivors. I can let go of it, but it won't let go of me.

    • @kryssysmith1486
      @kryssysmith1486 Місяць тому

      ​@@Hawaiiansky11Exactly. Back in August, I spent three weeks with my subconscious regurgitating memories from my childhood-all of them traumatic

  • @alastairjamesmainland2497
    @alastairjamesmainland2497 Місяць тому +2

    This was a most enlightening listen Danish many thanks for sharing, I had spells of psychosis when young and the infantile memory loss has always been a puzzle, used to call it the missing jig saw pieces. I revisited a place where I had been as an infant and it amazed me what returned, just being there helped resurface and trigger old memories. Still grapple with short term memory loss but life is much better after delayed realisation and speaking with others who had come through the same. Beggars belief the damage that was done and the patterns and red flags that were clearly waving but not understood at the time.

  • @klarissam8719
    @klarissam8719 Місяць тому +5

    Thank you danish great information

  • @efsmoore2274
    @efsmoore2274 Місяць тому

    You are amazing Danish. You are giving me all the answers I needed to achieve peace of mind in my golden years. You are a gift to this world❤

  • @Hawaiiansky11
    @Hawaiiansky11 Місяць тому

    I had such profound memory loss, that I would have little bouts of 'deja vu' -- I thought I was experiencing memories of a former life. I had no other explanation for it.
    I would have 'snippets' of a memory--like a quick flash camera snapshot in a darkened room; varied photographs without context. I distinctly remember standing in my room at 15 or 16 years of age, my hands held out in front of me, as though held by invisible hands, asking myself tearfully in frustration, "What does this mean? This means something! What does it mean?" My mind locked that memory away--to protect me.
    In 2022, after l learned of the death of a 'good friend,' repressed memories began flooding back, as though I was watching a movie inside my head, behind my eyes. I wrote it all down to try to make sense of it. Now, the snippets were like puzzle pieces; the rest of the puzzle was becoming clear.
    My mother was, IMO, a malignant narcissist, who took pleasure in causing me pain, then blamed others for it, then pretended to be there to soothe poor little me because I had such 'bad luck' with relationships, pets (!!!) and friendships.
    She destroyed my life. After almost 40 years, my memories are intact, I realize that the bad things in my life happened BECAUSE OF HER. She lied about me, to me, set me up to fail, to be abused, to be betrayed, she promised my body to a teen boy she had the hots for, she caused the d--- of 2 of my beloved pets; she was a monster.
    At 54, I'm trying to put my life back together again. It's been a 'journey' full of pain and horror, bliss and joy, grief and despair, peace and freedom.
    I'm so glad that people like Danish are here now, to help others recover before half or more of their life goes by. Thank God for you and all those help us heal!!

  • @growingonthegriddle4945
    @growingonthegriddle4945 Місяць тому +2

    Alexa helps me remember things these days. I have no connections....

  • @QueenofHolland123
    @QueenofHolland123 Місяць тому

    I lost all my memories, except for a very few faint ones. Not just from my childhood, but also my adult life! My mother is a narc and I suspect my father and my partners (previous and current) as well.

  • @faiyaazarafahmed7287
    @faiyaazarafahmed7287 25 днів тому

    Thanks Danish! You are a gem

  • @dannacarson-clark8060
    @dannacarson-clark8060 Місяць тому

    Many thanks breaking down the issue of memory loss

  • @FlaviaMollokayII
    @FlaviaMollokayII Місяць тому

    God bless you , Dan !

  • @leslietinyhousebuilderwann3851
    @leslietinyhousebuilderwann3851 Місяць тому

    My ex is a full fledged narcissist. When I had to call him or if he called me he would leave the area of earshot of his workers or customers because he was so mean to me.
    I am trying to get back working. He uses that against me because he found out how much money I could make. And I do not want to get back with him and I won’t be dependent on him anymore. The last 9 years of my life is spotted memory. I can’t wait to go no contact. Until then I will continue to watch these videos to remind me that I’m better off without him. The reality is that I have bills I have to pay. Until I get working I will be dependent upon him. I live over 1,000 miles away from him. He doesn’t like to drive so I don’t worry about seeing him again.
    I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

  • @honeybadgerisme
    @honeybadgerisme Місяць тому +3

    Ok-this is really rather a longer response to the question in your video. idk if it will help anyone.
    I was in dance troops as a kid. Jazz, ballet, tap and even gymnastics.
    Did poorly in class, but excelled in recitals (so I'm told). Could not comprehend how to practice at home-or why! I was told a few times to practice one time for a big production-but none of the movements would come to me. I could only associate the movements in the setting.
    Additionally, I was so very literallly clumsy-I wasn't trusted with a butter knife! I was expected to cut myself with my poor motor skills! Yet, when outside playing with my dog in the cow pastures and woods, could climb any tree, jump from any height safely. Could swing on grapevines like Tarzan & Jane! I would reinact kung fu movies! But within sight of the house or near certain family members-all clutz. It was like a switch on/off of personality.

  • @Iris-c5f
    @Iris-c5f Місяць тому

    Yes. I have infantile memory loss. I have so far only recovered one memory. No therapist - regular or hypnotherapist has been able to unlock them.
    I was so afraid to move forward in hypnotherapy that the therapist had to work with a dark window and condition me to no longer be afraid of my narcissistic parent.

  • @wespenre3418
    @wespenre3418 Місяць тому

    Brilliant! #4, in particular, pertains to me.

  • @QuinnMarie222
    @QuinnMarie222 Місяць тому

    Nearly 2 decades of yelling, screaming, doctors visits, etc. I don't know how I'm alive.

  • @valiizajames925
    @valiizajames925 Місяць тому +1

    Thank You

  • @rehanaaliali2205
    @rehanaaliali2205 Місяць тому

    I suffer from Epilepsy because of N abuse 😢😢😢 I have now left my N of a husband but at times do find it difficult to cope. I am moving forward and onward for the sake of Children ❤❤❤❤

  • @WendyFranklin-o8b
    @WendyFranklin-o8b Місяць тому

    OMG 😳 such a huge amount to recover from. Yesterday I had the police round 3 times, YES 3 TIMES. This is all related to the fact that the Narcissist over the road is a former Senior Sargent in the Police. I live with a pre packed bag, ready to be taken back to the Hastings (New Zealand) Lockup ANY TIME

  • @SalamandraMontecristo
    @SalamandraMontecristo Місяць тому

    It is quite accurate !!

  • @linamohamed8824
    @linamohamed8824 Місяць тому

    I also tend to have disorganized thoughts and i tend to forget what i was going to teach :( I have severe low self esteem and anxiety before giving my online sessions :( I have a feeling that everyone hates me and i also started listening to some voices that threatens me alot and voices that critisize me

  • @ericalbright7210
    @ericalbright7210 Місяць тому

    Christine Albright
    "Brilliant VIDIO"🙏!...
    "Thank you"🙏!...
    "+"!..."🙏"!...

  • @thepeppers5442
    @thepeppers5442 Місяць тому

    Had a tragic loss of my brother when I was 6, so many things including that day I have memory of, anything after that for the time we lived in that home I have zero memory it’s like my brain just shut out all the after math of the memory

  • @michaelgarrow3239
    @michaelgarrow3239 Місяць тому +2

    All of this.

  • @Ummeali77
    @Ummeali77 Місяць тому +2

    1 to 4 all type memory lose i m struggling with even was not able to remember today's date and day when I'm taking care of my kids'pregnancy period all alone I'm dealing with deep depression and take care of kids i cant handle alone in age of 18 years with x covert narssist husbnad when I'm looking back those horrible years 18 years days and night alone with kids with all time i was crying and my kids grown up to saw me crying weak i mom who is here with them but no where emotionally on a death bed i spend 18 years of my life and my kids have not goid vare memmories of their childhood jyst because of their father and a weak shattered mother in depreession grief of loneliness,😭

    • @lauchlanguddy1004
      @lauchlanguddy1004 Місяць тому

      yes you need to run, but you cant leave the kids, you are anchored to the abuse. Its a choice to stay and suffer.

  • @konangal16
    @konangal16 Місяць тому

    🎉 so true

  • @kobieboshoff297
    @kobieboshoff297 Місяць тому

    I am experiencing no 4.. I am 68 years old and thought it was due to old age but now I realize it is because of my narc husband 🤔

  • @lauchlanguddy1004
    @lauchlanguddy1004 Місяць тому

    mmm I noted when riding my motorcycle, the speed of co ordinating the brain, breaking, stopping and coordinating feet down on the tarmac, its complex but used to be simple, now its a task.

  • @talithamarko4291
    @talithamarko4291 Місяць тому

    What about dealing with the guilt of realizing you were that "golden" child?

  • @linamohamed8824
    @linamohamed8824 Місяць тому

    It happens to me :( :S
    I tend to forget alot and i have severe mood disorder :( I am not in the mood to do anything and i tend to forget a lot even tiny things such as what i was going to say!!!

  • @victoryamartin9773
    @victoryamartin9773 Місяць тому +1

    Your discussion on abuse related memory loss sounds very much like what dementia sufferers experience. Is it possible then that many people diagnosed with dementia are really suffering from Narcissistic abuse? If so, then what kinds of treatment could reverse these symptoms? And if such treatment is not given, will these sufferers die from dementia related effects?
    My mother suffered with Alzheimer's for about 20 years before she died from pneumonia. She and my Narcissistic father were married for over 50 years. She was already experiencing memory loss on their 50th anniversary. My father left her when she became combative with him, fearing she would drive him to having another heart attack. He died 4 months later. I took care of her over her remaining 2 years. If her dementia, which was severe by that time, had been treated as Narc abuse, I wonder if it might have been possible to reverse the symptoms at that point.
    I am now 68 and fighting memory loss while experiencing great trauma from abusive squatters in my home. I hope my symptoms are related to the abuse, because the alternative is that I am developing dementia possibly inherited from my mother, in which case the course is set and there's no coming back from it. Then again, even if it is abuse related, is it still possible to recover at my age? Or older, since I don't know how long these squatters will be around to torment me.

    • @QueenofHolland123
      @QueenofHolland123 Місяць тому

      Why can't you get the squatters out of your house? Just wondering.

  • @lauchlanguddy1004
    @lauchlanguddy1004 Місяць тому +3

    mmm, I have severe memory loss and was severely abused over a long term and caused extreme mental problems. I though ? think its Alzheimer's as im now 70+, but im wiling to accept its NOT !!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @eleonorabartoli2225
    @eleonorabartoli2225 Місяць тому

    Danish, how do you recover early childhood memories? I thought nobody remembered until you mentioned it... Thanks!

  • @meenabajaj7341
    @meenabajaj7341 Місяць тому

    Hey Danish, please make your videos in Hindi too (all your videos). Please make video on narcissistic adult children of narcissistic father or mother.

  • @420lisia
    @420lisia Місяць тому

    I only remember the traumatic from my childhood

  • @lauchlanguddy1004
    @lauchlanguddy1004 Місяць тому

    anyy good memries are pretty much erased or did not exist as the Narcissist would not allow any visitors or friends. The victim is so busy just surviving, there is little joy just survival. Yes Memory goes to complete shyte, as does organisation, logic, basic skills. Your mind is fully engaged with fight and flight or just overworking, hyperworking in order to blank out reality. My beautiful life now, in a war zone is still black and white. I know I am in a wonderful and loving relationship, but maybe im too damaged to really appreciate it..., to submerge and float in it. Im not on eggshells anymore, way from that, but I need to get out of monochrome. Its been 10 years.

  • @WitnessingTruth
    @WitnessingTruth Місяць тому

    💯💯💯

  • @TimothyWiebe-v2y
    @TimothyWiebe-v2y Місяць тому

    Yep

  • @lauchlanguddy1004
    @lauchlanguddy1004 Місяць тому +1

    any way to bring back memory? I have deeply researched alternative treatments for dementia and they may work. I cant really go into it here as its a huge subject with lots of food inputs, from keto, to MCT oils, other oils, anti inflammatory, sleeping herbs, particular diets like Keto and carnivore, ketosis as a brain chemistry. I feel the damage may be permanent

  • @skkaizen6621
    @skkaizen6621 Місяць тому

    How to reach out to you, Danish?

  • @user-rh3jr3bm5i
    @user-rh3jr3bm5i Місяць тому +1

    I asked to my partner that I want to pursue my career and my parents are not allowing it in his city and mujhe apne city me college lena pdega but he does not want ki me college jaun kyuki me jb tk ghr me thi tb bhi hmare conflict hue toh agr me bhar jaungi toh me use time nhi dungi or vo chahta hai ki me uske Sath agle sal college lu lekin mene use kaha ki mere saal vese bhi khrab hogye hain or usme mujhe kaha ki ese me toh breakup krna pdega and mene sochke kaha ki mujhe ab vella nhi rehna age bdhna hai toh vo ab ro rha hai ansoo baha rha hai or ab phone switched off arha tha ab me buri hu kyuki mene apna career usse upr rkha Uske hisba Se aaj vo mujhpe bhaut jor se chillaya kyuki me apna pcod dikahne k liye Hospital chle gyi or ptha nhi iska kya hai ki me bahar jati hu toh vo bimar hojata kehta hai ki super natural powers esa krri hai

  • @AshlyRa
    @AshlyRa Місяць тому

    How to reverse it

  • @Sally-i8c
    @Sally-i8c Місяць тому

    Is the workshop recorded? Can I pay for it and watch it in my own time?

  • @faizanandmama9432
    @faizanandmama9432 Місяць тому

    Meri kahani sune bohat worst hai

  • @Sophie-ur2qb
    @Sophie-ur2qb Місяць тому +1

    Thank you for this one Danish 🫶
    Fragmented memories are hard to cope with. Flashbacks are scary. I still have gaps where i don't know what happened. I have to wait for them to be triggered to get access. First time this happened i was 16. My dad shoved me against a wall and that triggered an early traumatic memory involving him around age 4. I didn't believe it could be true until he confirmed it.

  • @stylist62
    @stylist62 Місяць тому

    The nervous system did regulation is really difficult. The best memory of loss would be the narcissist😂😂😂Great video yes painful going through it🥲🙏🥰

  • @pratibhatiwari6992
    @pratibhatiwari6992 Місяць тому +1

    I have gone through it.. extremely painful experience