You guys are so wholesome, I am very proud of you all and I don't even know you! I am an Australian born Vietnamese but I live in the UK now, I have been here since 2012. Another Aussie/Asian, who lives in Ireland sent me one of your episodes and I have been watching since. Initially it was a taste of home for when I was homesick and needed the Aussie/Asian craziness. But I stay because you unpack so many things that I thought I only thought of and going deep isn't something we're really known for because of that taught stoicism. It's not because we don't think it, we just don't talk about it. So, without sounding patronising, well done guys. Being born Asian raised with very strict Asian culture and tradition but being completely immersed in Western Culture is confusing and almost bi-polar. The love/hate of Asian Parents comes from the seesaw of trying to define that. You love them because you were culturally instilled that but you hate it because you look at Western culture and it is so loving, tolerant and free! 😂 So thank you, for making me feel quite normal with that unsettling feeling. I think it's fine to feel both. For years I fought to move completely to just loving them because 'they're my parents' and 'its respectful' but I think this is a natural transition. Come our children, we'll be different. I hope! 😅
Wow, all the way in the UK! Thank you for leaving a comment and sharing this and apologies for the very delayed response. There's a term we have called "third culture kids", a concept where as kids of eastern parents and growing up in western society, we have to build a third culture for ourselves because oftentimes the two former cultures clash with one another. It's definitely a shared experience that we have with not just you but many of the Asian diaspora. I hope some of these stories and craziness at least gives you a bit of comfort that it's not just you!
I’m crying and laughing so hard at the same time! It’s so touching and relatable. Also it’s funny (but making tons of sense in the same time) I’m born and bred in the China all the way to adulthood, and I came to Australia in my mid 20s, and yet I resonate so much in so many ways with this episode. people’d say of crz that’s cos you’re Chinese, I get this; but somehow it’s touching how much resonance I am feeling , and reflections that I’m doing whilst watching it, given I’m growing up in a completely different language and in another country. So yeah good work and thank your guys for what you are doing, wholeheartedly!
I really love your content. I'm so happy I found you guys and I can watch a whole discussion of people that ACTUALLY understand and live through the same experiences. Love Hate Relationship: My main issue with my parents is the hate/love relationship. My sister moved out because my parents stressed her too much and now I'm the only one at home. It's a very big house with just me, mum and dad. I want to move out for my own mental health but it'll be at a cost of feeling like I'm abandoning my parents - and they aren't afraid of telling me so! The guilt I already feel to abandon my parents but then they actually shove that in my face too. It's not like I want to move out though - I want to stay filial and close to them because they're very lonely in Australia, and renting is so expensive...but living with them is so hard. The nagging, the constant nitpicking, the constant expectations of paying for this, paying for that, do all the house chores etc. Don't even get me started on the expectations of giving money to help. At some point it becomes financial abuse because you start to feel like you live your life to work FOR them rather than for yourself. I loaned them a big sum and they didn't give it back to me because "I didn't need it yet", but when I really wanted it back they guilted me and I felt so bad for asking for it back. Cherished moments with parents: I do have some random memories of my parents that make me close to them, like when my dad came home one day and made a kite with chopsticks to fly with me but it completely failed. I don't think he remembers it but I'll never forget it. We never celebrated Christmas presents but me and my sister woke up one day to a small box of little gifts and trinkets for Christmas when we were in Year 7. It was so sweet. It wasn't anything big, it was just some cute pencils and stuff but it was a lot because they really struggled financially.
This is beautiful! Thank you for sharing that and yes, it's incredibly tough and difficult to grapple with - something that we're all learning to do despite all being older and a little more wary of this stuff. Know that it's not something that you're supposed to 'solve' and it's a process. And as long as you are making incremental improvements to the relationship you have with your parents, then that's all that matters. Things will get better!
You guys are so wholesome, I am very proud of you all and I don't even know you!
I am an Australian born Vietnamese but I live in the UK now, I have been here since 2012.
Another Aussie/Asian, who lives in Ireland sent me one of your episodes and I have been watching since. Initially it was a taste of home for when I was homesick and needed the Aussie/Asian craziness.
But I stay because you unpack so many things that I thought I only thought of and going deep isn't something we're really known for because of that taught stoicism. It's not because we don't think it, we just don't talk about it. So, without sounding patronising, well done guys.
Being born Asian raised with very strict Asian culture and tradition but being completely immersed in Western Culture is confusing and almost bi-polar.
The love/hate of Asian Parents comes from the seesaw of trying to define that. You love them because you were culturally instilled that but you hate it because you look at Western culture and it is so loving, tolerant and free! 😂
So thank you, for making me feel quite normal with that unsettling feeling. I think it's fine to feel both. For years I fought to move completely to just loving them because 'they're my parents' and 'its respectful' but I think this is a natural transition. Come our children, we'll be different. I hope! 😅
Wow, all the way in the UK! Thank you for leaving a comment and sharing this and apologies for the very delayed response. There's a term we have called "third culture kids", a concept where as kids of eastern parents and growing up in western society, we have to build a third culture for ourselves because oftentimes the two former cultures clash with one another. It's definitely a shared experience that we have with not just you but many of the Asian diaspora. I hope some of these stories and craziness at least gives you a bit of comfort that it's not just you!
I’m crying and laughing so hard at the same time! It’s so touching and relatable.
Also it’s funny (but making tons of sense in the same time) I’m born and bred in the China all the way to adulthood, and I came to Australia in my mid 20s, and yet I resonate so much in so many ways with this episode. people’d say of crz that’s cos you’re Chinese, I get this; but somehow it’s touching how much resonance I am feeling , and reflections that I’m doing whilst watching it, given I’m growing up in a completely different language and in another country.
So yeah good work and thank your guys for what you are doing, wholeheartedly!
I really love your content. I'm so happy I found you guys and I can watch a whole discussion of people that ACTUALLY understand and live through the same experiences.
Love Hate Relationship: My main issue with my parents is the hate/love relationship. My sister moved out because my parents stressed her too much and now I'm the only one at home. It's a very big house with just me, mum and dad.
I want to move out for my own mental health but it'll be at a cost of feeling like I'm abandoning my parents - and they aren't afraid of telling me so! The guilt I already feel to abandon my parents but then they actually shove that in my face too.
It's not like I want to move out though - I want to stay filial and close to them because they're very lonely in Australia, and renting is so expensive...but living with them is so hard. The nagging, the constant nitpicking, the constant expectations of paying for this, paying for that, do all the house chores etc. Don't even get me started on the expectations of giving money to help. At some point it becomes financial abuse because you start to feel like you live your life to work FOR them rather than for yourself. I loaned them a big sum and they didn't give it back to me because "I didn't need it yet", but when I really wanted it back they guilted me and I felt so bad for asking for it back.
Cherished moments with parents: I do have some random memories of my parents that make me close to them, like when my dad came home one day and made a kite with chopsticks to fly with me but it completely failed. I don't think he remembers it but I'll never forget it.
We never celebrated Christmas presents but me and my sister woke up one day to a small box of little gifts and trinkets for Christmas when we were in Year 7. It was so sweet. It wasn't anything big, it was just some cute pencils and stuff but it was a lot because they really struggled financially.
This is beautiful! Thank you for sharing that and yes, it's incredibly tough and difficult to grapple with - something that we're all learning to do despite all being older and a little more wary of this stuff. Know that it's not something that you're supposed to 'solve' and it's a process. And as long as you are making incremental improvements to the relationship you have with your parents, then that's all that matters. Things will get better!
Another great episode! A lot of triggering topics discussed for sure. Thanks for the great content ❤
Thank you!!
This one was due.
Who's cutting onions? 🥹
😭😭
Imagine Asian parents adopting a child . Forgot about it lol then
LOL what an episode, in so many ways 🥲