I have no tolerance for controlling people. I have a very simple way of dealing with controlling people, I cut all communication with them OR I keep them at a distance, I am cordial and respectful towards them but I keep small talk with them then I avoid them. whether that be a friend, coworker, family member. My mental and emotional health are my responsibility and try to avoid toxic people.
Not true - they KNOW that YOU know that you've caught them - but they are sooooo sneaky and manipulative - they are betting that NOBODY ELSE will believe your case because they are so subtle - after all a simple smile wins people over - doesn't it? He / she couldn't possibly be a nasty controlling manipulator - not really. They are just that nice smiley guy that works down the corridor. Just doing their job.
The most challenging aspect of having toxic parents for me has been breaking the cycle of abuse to my own kids. My behaviors for years mimicked my parents behaviors and reactions. It has taken me years, with the help of my wife, to finally break the cycle and be a positive, helpful parent. I have two great successful kids and I am thankful for your videos. Thanks!
+Crazie German Hi Crazie German, Good for you for recognizing it. There are many ways you can learn to break the cycle and start feeling, thinking and acting the way you want. Since all situations are different, you need individualized help to get strength, courage, determination and skill, and to create and carry out an effective plan. Please, email to schedule Skype coaching. I’m in Colorado so we’ll have to compensate for the time zone difference. You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal (Ben@BulliesBeGone.com). What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul! I can help you work through a complicated situation. Best wishes, Ben
Crazie German I had a sneaky Nan who fought dirty. One day she begged my mam to look after my sis then when she let her my nan called social services saying my mum dumped the child on her and tried to put her into care. But my mum didn’t feel right about leaving the child so she turned back and went to pick her up before social services got there and my nan was pissed off that my mum got there first so she she pushed my sister who was 3 down 5 concrete steps from her front door to the garden path and said take your kid. My mum is a narcissistic mother aswell and I’m the scapegoat but she doesn’t make calls to to social services and things she is just a more selfish kinda narc and doesn’t really want contact with her kids she cares about the man in her life. My dad and my child’s father is both fully blown evil psychopaths. I know how sneaky and disordered people can be from hearing stories about my nan. I have a psychopath/narc personality disordered neighbour who sent the police to my house with concerns about the safety of my son. When me and her became friends she called social services on me saying very serious accusations like my son getting nearly hit by a car and a lot more and it could of only been 2 people her or someone else but I blamed the other person because I would never have suspected her. It was the only two people who had been in my house as I didn’t know anyone in the area due to being moved far away to flee domestic violence from my sons dad. The person gave very personal details about my house discribed my sons room and that I was decorating only they knew that. Gave my name address number child’s name and said what I was doing at the time ect. I hadn’t had any visits from friends or family for 8 months and was isolated. My house wasn’t perfect because I was decorating. We fell out about something she had my sons expensive playmats worth a lot of money and tried to keep them. But I finally got them back just before I told her I’m calling the police. Then the other day she called rspca on me because my cat was a bit hot in his cage but I got him in straight away he was only there for 15 minutes I took him in and she made the call after I got him in. I made a police report the other day because I’ve had enough of her stupid intimidation I am not one bit intimidated but she pushes all my buttons because it’s a underhanded way where she uses my kids and animals and there’s no way I can do anything back unless I get angry with her or even speak to her calmly which is what she wants. she fights dirty trying to provoke a reaction out of me so I get angry so she can call the police on me. If I were to retaliate and she called the police she would turn it all round and say I’m intimidating her and make a load of lies up and say I’m doing what she’s doing. That’s why I had to call them the other day she’s got it in for me big time. These people will go to great lengths to damage and slander any persons character who they can’t control and they go all out for them. It’s hard to not break no contact but this is her form of hoovering to get me to break no contact and make me depressed. This woman doesn’t know I’ve dealt with people like her my whole life. The handicap
Allen Smith Hobby and Wargames I am going through this now. I finally got away from my toxic mother. She was trying to alienate my 6 and 7 year old from me. Now that I’m away from her I realize how much I don’t want to continue (not on purpose) shame my kids, or try to make them listen by control or fear. Can you tell me how you reversed this? I am in therapy and have come a long way but have such a long way to go. It’s hard to break out of these old habits and that recorded bs I have from my parents in my subconscious. Playing all day long.
That's so true. And I do believe that happens to all parents in some way. We unconsciously mimic those patterns, when in reality is something that caused us sadness or often traumas. Contradictory?! It sounds like but is a reality. Its has also happen to me, and I took some years to really "see" what I was doing and the consequences as negative effects in regards the education and emotional stability in son's life. And when you have a partner, is always a benefit in these kind of matter, cause they often "see" what other can´t and help you. In my case, I'm a single parent, but although is more difficult is not impossible to acknowledge yourself, as I did. So first we should acknowledge and accept that reality and be willing to heal whatever that hurt/trauma was in order to have a better and healthy relationship with our kids. We must see and understand that by doing that we are not just healing our traumas but the future generations cause what destroy families and future generations is that bad cycle that often seems impossible to break. But it just takes One person to start. I've been doing some therapy for some years, like Family Constellation. Family Constellation is a therapeutic process that consists of freeing individuals from reproducing destructive feelings inherited from ancestors. Imagine that a good part of the feelings, attitudes and memories of your ancestors indirectly reverberated in you. Family Constellation is a therapeutic process that consists of freeing individuals from reproducing destructive feelings inherited from ancestors. Imagine that a good part of the feelings, attitudes and memories of your ancestors indirectly reverberated in you.
Not only slow erosion of our soul, but deteriorated health as well...Thank you! God bless you for helping parents, as there is not much help out there and lots of parents suffer in silence....
I’ve seen people like that before. They bully me through joking. Then they say I can’t take a joke. But I know they are not joking. The bullying will make it seem like you’re crazy and wrong for not taking a joke.
I am dealing with all of this. Everything you have shared, has given me a sense of self. Thank you for taking the time to share this, it's impacting more than you know. You are a hero for us listening and desperate for advice, xoxo.
Dr Ben again you are so right. My problem is that i have a multiple personality disorder narsisstic 8 yr older sister...and since the passing of my wonderful parents to Heaven, I no longer have mom and dad to DEFEND me! She delights in this now situation, because it's now open season on me. Allowing her to do ANYTHING she wants to do to destroy me! I try to get away from her...and her vicious and blood thirsty attacks on me, however she keeps following me...continuing with her behind the door wicked assaults and unimaginable lies against me! Short of knowing the mafia, she WILL NOT GO AWAY!
Ben is great! What a nice person! He is right. Respect yourself and tell them to respect you. Respect them if you can. Not seeing my grandchildren is heartbreaking! There is nothing I can do but show love to them. I cannot change my daughter…I have tried everything. I am damned if I do and damned if I don’t. No amount of money, gifts, or attention is enough My other two daughters are wonderful. Life just spoiled my daughter…she is beautiful and was popular, homecoming queen, etc. I just cannot afford to financially afford her. I love all of them so much and they know it…which is not a good thing! I. am calling Ben!
why does it take us so long to realize we have been manipulated? Do we perhaps reason our way out of the truth, think to ourselves 'maybe this is normal and i am being over the top in my reactions?' i don't know how many times i have been made the butt of the joke, been called stupid, made to look stupid in front of others and it's all just a 'joke', sure it is. more like miserable humans who can't feel good unless they target somebody
RLP1989 because we are polite and kind ! And we would make fun of others for thrills. It's not how we are built, but it's how these things are built. It's great when we finally get it hey !! I'm still learning but feel on the right track. All best !!
+leanne smith Hi Leanne, Glad it helped. Now plan and act. Be brave and strong and determined. Thousands have gotten away and you can too! Best wishes, Ben
Dad this your video is awesome! I've come across all kinds of intimidation in my life, emotional & physical intimidation which have kept me crippled for years, emotional blackmails, backbiting, backstabbing & calling me all sorts of names behind me & even in presence without a single fear or remorse, they pull me down in various ways & instead of resisting them I becomes very nervous even to talk back at them this has really affected me emotionally, physiologically & had cost a lot of missed opportunities & placements in life, I becomes very nervous, fretful & depressed thinking of how to break loose from them! I'm a full grown man of 42yrs able bodied, strong but yet very vulnerable emotionally, I can be dangerous when anyone have the guts to attack Me but words I becomes Brocken regretting all day because of an Error I committed over 6 yrs ago I became an objects of ridicule, a case study because I've feeling for them never wanting to hurt anyone but I'm been hurt continually. Your video has taught me nothing but the whole truth about my Situations that's why I'm taking the time to write u back, pls Sir help me, guide me because I can't be reporting everyone to the police, how can I stood my ground firmly? Thks with utmost regards
This is my teenage daughter. Have been living this nightmare since she was 12. She's 15. Any dicipline I give out she has a meltdown and a torrent of verbal abuse in the form "u ruined my life, u gave me depression, u don't care about me, ur an evil person, pls die etc etc." I've already sent her to live elsewhere 3 times and 3 years later I'm back to square one. I give up. I'm pregnant and I can't cope with it. I have a severely autistic son who is 6 to prioritise and a girl 7 and her behaviour is toxic for them. I want her out but my family won't take her again as they don't want the hassle and they believe her over me her twisted version of how I am so cruel. I don't know what to do.
I had woman apt. manager who is a bullie in a senior and disabled apts. She felt entitled to my time and others and when she couldnt get my time (cause I was busy) she'd yelled in an intimidating loud tone at me and orderd me to come back to explain to her why I didn't spend time getting to know her. She was scarey all I did was continue to complain to her Supervisor.
Ben Thank You for being so supportive of Targets of EM/Abuse. I've been searching for info. on what I started realizing was going on. It was a gradual process of realizing and it was traumatizing to realize. But then trying to get understanding, and advice from "Professionals" was surprisingly difficult. I'd like to talk to you but money is a major issue. When I get some I will contact you to find out what you charge.
Hi Sunny, I look forward to talking. Stay strong and brave and determined. Thousands have gotten free (mentally, physically and emotionally) before you and you can too. You Spirit is calling you. Best wishes, Ben
I recall growing up in the 80s as a small child, I was bullied by my own dad and I remember being beaten up twice!! He would shut me in the kitchen then just lay into me!! I ran away when I was nine years old!! He found me and of coarse beat me up again!!! My mother divorced him when I was 14!! But she moved her perverted boyfriend in all most straight away!! So Another chapter began!!! For years ahead I was groomed and my mother said it was my fault😢 She said it was the way I dressed and how I acted... She said she didn’t believe me!!! and so it continued for years.......I lost all respect for my mother because she should have been protecting her children! I fell Completely out of love with her!!!! Then I realised, she could have protected me from the beatings I had from dad!! I had nothing but hate for my mother!!! There was no going back... So as soon as I was old enough I moved out! I now have children of my own! I can look into there eyes and see there so happy. And I’m the best mother and would do anything for them to keep them safe.... I haven’t seen my mother since I walked out! That was so many years ago!! She’s still living with that pervert! Now my younger sister has told me I’m not family because I hurt mother!! Music to my ears! I wouldn’t go back for all the tea in China......Wish my child hood and Teenage years where happier times! I tend to try and forget as much as I can......
How if the narcissist relies on the goodness of the victim and then they tell it to everyone who loves the victim, the narcissist tell the victim not to disappoint everyone who trust the victim It is sad story perhaps and seems it happens to me and I have struggled to get out from this freakin hell prison I try to escape but sadly they use the people who trust me as a weapon
Ben is great. I suffer a lot from cyber bullying but had difficulties explaining what it was exactly that I was going through and feeling that I would just be laughed at if I tried to explain this to another person. Now I know the hurt and the pain that I went through actually is actually a thing known to others including myself I can go and show other people this video. Thank you very much Ben, your contribution to this platform are greatly appreciated.
Dr. Ben Leichtling someone commented that just listening to you made them feel better. The same for ne too. This is the first time I am seeing any of your videos.
One of the things my 18 year old daughter will do is accuse me of something ridiculous. I'll try to defend myself, and then suddenly she shows that I started a fight! One day recently I sat beside her, and asked if she wanted help with her homework. Somehow, this turned into how I should be fine with her drinking at friends' houses, etc. She goes into public and says things like, "I'm wearing my boyfriend's underwear as shorts!" (She was, and you really can't tell, but I was embarrassed. She could tell, so she got mad that I want to silence who she is, etc. etc.) I'm so tired.
they pull energy from your lower stomach, navel area. can feel outta breath when talking to them, as they won't let you finish sentences, interupt often, so you got to repeat yourself or they look at you doubting, always judgeing you. it's exhausting and not worth communicating in this way. if it feels like you"re expending too much Energy just to explain some thing, the "Energy bully" could very well be sitting back and be leeching off your vital Energy ))that you need to thrive in this life.check for leaks, seal them off visually. refuse to be robbed again l did and my Extremly controlling mother became indignant she could feel my strength growing inside for me not her) my decisions become firmer, my sense of self deepened . my blocking of her when she wanted to pull from me l could feel it, it was intense, extremly draining. there used to just stealing and getting away with it. eroding your soul is right ..!! you become lethargic, unable to deal with simple tasks. develop panick attacks not knowing why ?? have your personnal power tooken away they make a independent strong person into a dependent fearfull co-dependent. complain that you'v changed for the worse if you put up any kind of personal healthy bounderie
Wiccan Goddess My husband is the ultimate bully. I’m crazy, cannot communicate, am the reason we argue, I’m the one with the problem, he uses the word “I” about a thousand times a day, and he’s the most loving person when I don’t disagree with him. My “feelings” are always wrong and if I don’t have facts to rattle off, he’s all in my face. He asked me an insignificant question yesterday and because I didn’t answer him immediately, he said snippy like “it’s NOT a TRICK question. Like I’m stupid. He interrupts me, asks me for facts, and disregards my feelings. You know, he is the one making me crazy. And not to mention, he’s the ultimate “gaslighter”. Bully bully bully.
Thank you for your video, some situations are just almost impossible to get out, I notice myself becoming a bully to defend myself from a evil bully partner, just trying to make he taste his own poison, but it's so tiring, i get exhausted and think about to kill myself to get out from this horror movie. and in the end they are the only victims. What hell i went because i thought i found the mr right.
+Alice M Gegers Hi Alice, No, he’s not Mr. Right. You’re right, it’s exhausting to fight and endless fight. He won’t change. The solution is to get away and make a better life. Then you won’t waste any time or energy fighting with people like him. You’ll find the family of your heart, mind and spirit. Be brave, strong and determined. Get free. Best wishes, Ben
THKU for ur work. my issue is that i was 'trained' n raised by a pathological N-ist. during my life i have learned to defend myself against the people i have drawn to me...so i myself have been pushy, 'in your face' and stood up against bullys by being agressive n assertive with their behavior. my problems come when other 'judge' me saying i am bully n selfish...i am shunned isolated n told i am negative when in fact i am identifying bullys n their destructive energy. i admit that i am learning that my defensiveness n my 'warrior' persona can be intimidating altho i am a kind n decent woman mother grandmother n friend. i have been working with a woman from London, Heidi Sawyer, who is a coach for psychic and empathic sensitives like myself. in her private circle [15$ monthly fee] we are learning to identify N-ists and to use appropriate techniques to protect ourselves n grow our confidence. in this new-age of PC anyone who brings up negative issues is labeled negative, creating a misconception n isolation that is a serious problem for someone like me who has struggled to survive the cruelty i've experienced. i am digging myself out of poverty right now or would surely add you to my personal empowerment work. maybe in future as i grow my bizness, i can work with you i wanted to share my feelings n issues as i want to help n teach as much as i can to help good people keep unwanted threats n intimidation out of their lives. thx again for your kindness n concern for peace in our world. yara
Hi Alex, Document everything. Line up witnesses and allies. Since all situations are different, I offer individualized help so you can develop strength, courage, determination and skill, and create and carry out an effective plan. Please, call or email me to schedule phone or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES (877-828-5543). You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal (Ben@BulliesBeGone.com). What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul! Best wishes, Ben
Im the one who always be a target being emotional bullied by friends, siblings and even my parents. All they see in me is negativity im so confiused and lost myself. I want to die but im afraid. Thats why i always alone and only talk to myself 🙂
Hi, Learn who the real jerks are and how you can create the life you dream about. Don't waste the rest of your life. Since all situations are different, I offer individualized help so you can develop strength, courage, determination and skill, and create and carry out an effective plan. Please, call or email me to schedule phone, Zoom, Messenger, WhatsApp or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES (877-828-5543). If you get voice mail, I’m counseling someone else. Please leave a message and I’ll call you back as soon as I can. You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal (Ben@BulliesBeGone.com). What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul! I can help you work through a complicated situation. Best wishes, Ben
karma kavi: I so hear you. How can you ever really trust anyone? Well, you can't ever totally know or trust anything, so you have to do the best you can and be ready to walk away if necessary. The more you learn the easier this gets, to tell when someone is showing the bad signs of bullying you. Don't become a hermit, it's not good for you, but step out gently and look for some places you can add something; volunteer. But be aware, bullies can be anywhere. Don't rely totally on any one person or organization. As for friends, just take it a little slow, get to know someone well before you "commit" to anything long term, and be aware that you must learn to strengthen your boundaries, don't LET them bully you. Stop it at the first sign. Just don't take their "crap."
What if you live with them. I just keep going back and forth he is or not but he is always trying to attack me for something I found myself walking on eggshells because I just couldn't take the constant attacks and that is exactly what they want. He is always trying to emotionally blackmail me and then when he says something to me I don't feel like answering there is a huge attack. He thinks I should just do whatever he says. He is a bully but how do I keep my peace if I can't move out because I am too young. What should I do if he is always trying to attack me for everything and staring at me and then is jealous of everything everyone does including me? If someone gives me compliment in front of him he turns into a completely different person. If someone likes me his face looks so disturbed. If I do something he can't do he looks at me as if I am doing something wrong! What could I do?!
I want to call but afraid I'll find out I'm awful and it's all my fault for not changing. how can you blame someone else for things going wrong for you, but yourself
if u were raised or threatened in early life by a bully N-ist you will blame urself cuz thats how they train U to hide their shame. ur #1 job for rest of ur life is to forgive urself everytime u blame urself u are doing that bullys work for them. look at ur behavior. did you purposely try to hurt or humiliate another. if answer is no then you can HONESTLY know u r blameless and therefore forgive yourself. if answer is yes then change ur behaviur to kindess. but i seriusly doubt the answer is yes bcuz a bully NEVER askes this to themselves. please continue to work so u can help others that have suffered. find a person wh ocan help that you trust and all will be well
Hi 9 ¾, There are plenty of people who use blaming to get power and control. Or simply for pleasure of beating someone up. Probably you’re the target, not the perpetrator. Please call. Since all situations are different, I offer individualized help so you can develop strength, courage, determination and skill, and create and carry out an effective plan. Please, call or email me to schedule phone or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES (877-828-5543). You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal (Ben@BulliesBeGone.com). What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul! Best wishes, Ben
good description but tells you nothing about stopping it. The person who physically attempts to control you/bully and intimidate. I am very fearful of these types, not because I am fearful of them, I am fearful of ME getting into trouble with the police, if they push too far. how to get around that?
An apt. Manager for Seniors and disabled whom should have been fired when she started fighting with the tenants in a hostile way, management sent her to anger management classes, she yelled at me for calling the Police cause I had an intruder opening my door with a key and vandalizing my mattress and some of my belongings, I had a suspicion it could be the maintenance man whom I gave permission to enter one day to come home and find white stuff looked like sperm or caulking it was perverted as hell!! on my carpet near my magazine with a sexy lady modeling a dress. She s yelling your going to get him fired, the Police didn't do nothing cause I couldn't prove what that was or who is the Intruder.
Thank you for this I've been trying to help my friend sundry girl she's afraid she's become narcissistic due to a line of women who are the same mistreating and neglecting and abusive. My dear friend has PTSD she's open about it on her Channel but she doesn't talk so much about it because her talk therapist and I believe her psychiatrist knows about her Channel I'm not those sure? But she is very bullying family members I will share your video with her and I support your channel I'm sure she will too. She's having a really hard time with triggers and the holidays and family threats and bullying and they tell her after dealing with PTSD and diagnosed in 1 disabled for 12 years from my understanding we overheard her aunt saying it's not even real I tried to stick up for her but unless she's actually physically bleeding or has a broken arm or a bruise they think she's not sick but my poor friend has been dealing with it all her life and diagnosed 12 years ago. Thank you kind sir
Hi Kyleigh, Yes, definitely. Since all situations are different, I offer individualized help so you can develop strength, courage, determination and skill, and create and carry out an effective plan. Please, call or email me to schedule phone, Zoom, Messenger, WhatsApp or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES (877-828-5543). If you get voice mail, I’m counseling someone else. Please leave a message and I’ll call you back as soon as I can. You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal (Ben@BulliesBeGone.com). What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul! I can help you work through a complicated situation. Best wishes, Ben
You keep on publicly identifing a problem that we all know is abound...but offer only a private solution??? Are you seeking to resolve these problems...or make some coin telling us more of what we already know? May I remind you that the title of your video is "Stop Emotional Intimidators, Manipulators and Secret Narcissists". I see no attempt to show how to "Stop Emotional Intimidators, Manipulators and Secret Narcissists". Thankyou.
He needs to feel shame for trying to profit on people who are in pain, people who are desperate to stop getting hurt. In my opinion this dude is a bully himself for what he does to the people who are in need of compassion. A bully is taking your US Civil Rights from you so at the advice of my lawyer I contacted the FBI. Contact a lawyer not ‘this joker
The price of tolerating bullies is slow erosion of our souls. 💎 💎 💎
I have no tolerance for controlling people. I have a very simple way of dealing with controlling people, I cut all communication with them OR I keep them at a distance, I am cordial and respectful towards them but I keep small talk with them then I avoid them. whether that be a friend, coworker, family member. My mental and emotional health are my responsibility and try to avoid toxic people.
I couldn't agree more. Is our very and unique responsibility and that is something that we all should learn.
What's even worse is when you catch them giving you a dirty look that they quickly turn into a fake smile. They don't even realize you caught them.
Bonnie Irvin exactly
Not true - they KNOW that YOU know that you've caught them - but they are sooooo sneaky and manipulative - they are betting that NOBODY ELSE will believe your case because they are so subtle - after all a simple smile wins people over - doesn't it? He / she couldn't possibly be a nasty controlling manipulator - not really. They are just that nice smiley guy that works down the corridor. Just doing their job.
My daughter in law. Jezebel eat your heart out
My soul has been eroded already. Too many bullies in my life, destroyed my life.
I hate how it's always your fault.
The most challenging aspect of having toxic parents for me has been breaking the cycle of abuse to my own kids. My behaviors for years mimicked my parents behaviors and reactions. It has taken me years, with the help of my wife, to finally break the cycle and be a positive, helpful parent. I have two great successful kids and I am thankful for your videos. Thanks!
+Crazie German
Hi Crazie German,
Good for you for recognizing it. There are many ways you can learn to break the cycle and start feeling, thinking and acting the way you want.
Since all situations are different, you need individualized help to get strength, courage, determination and skill, and to create and carry out an effective plan. Please, email to schedule Skype coaching. I’m in Colorado so we’ll have to compensate for the time zone difference.
You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal (Ben@BulliesBeGone.com).
What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul!
I can help you work through a complicated situation.
Best wishes,
Ben
Well done Crazie German!
Crazie German
I had a sneaky Nan who fought dirty. One day she begged my mam to look after my sis then when she let her my nan called social services saying my mum dumped the child on her and tried to put her into care. But my mum didn’t feel right about leaving the child so she turned back and went to pick her up before social services got there and my nan was pissed off that my mum got there first so she she pushed my sister who was 3 down 5 concrete steps from her front door to the garden path and said take your kid. My mum is a narcissistic mother aswell and I’m the scapegoat but she doesn’t make calls to to social services and things she is just a more selfish kinda narc and doesn’t really want contact with her kids she cares about the man in her life. My dad and my child’s father is both fully blown evil psychopaths. I know how sneaky and disordered people can be from hearing stories about my nan. I have a psychopath/narc personality disordered neighbour who sent the police to my house with concerns about the safety of my son. When me and her became friends she called social services on me saying very serious accusations like my son getting nearly hit by a car and a lot more and it could of only been 2 people her or someone else but I blamed the other person because I would never have suspected her. It was the only two people who had been in my house as I didn’t know anyone in the area due to being moved far away to flee domestic violence from my sons dad. The person gave very personal details about my house discribed my sons room and that I was decorating only they knew that. Gave my name address number child’s name and said what I was doing at the time ect. I hadn’t had any visits from friends or family for 8 months and was isolated. My house wasn’t perfect because I was decorating. We fell out about something she had my sons expensive playmats worth a lot of money and tried to keep them. But I finally got them back just before I told her I’m calling the police. Then the other day she called rspca on me because my cat was a bit hot in his cage but I got him in straight away he was only there for 15 minutes I took him in and she made the call after I got him in. I made a police report the other day because I’ve had enough of her stupid intimidation I am not one bit intimidated but she pushes all my buttons because it’s a underhanded way where she uses my kids and animals and there’s no way I can do anything back unless I get angry with her or even speak to her calmly which is what she wants. she fights dirty trying to provoke a reaction out of me so I get angry so she can call the police on me. If I were to retaliate and she called the police she would turn it all round and say I’m intimidating her and make a load of lies up and say I’m doing what she’s doing. That’s why I had to call them the other day she’s got it in for me big time. These people will go to great lengths to damage and slander any persons character who they can’t control and they go all out for them. It’s hard to not break no contact but this is her form of hoovering to get me to break no contact and make me depressed. This woman doesn’t know I’ve dealt with people like her my whole life. The handicap
Allen Smith Hobby and Wargames I am going through this now. I finally got away from my toxic mother. She was trying to alienate my 6 and 7 year old from me. Now that I’m away from her I realize how much I don’t want to continue (not on purpose) shame my kids, or try to make them listen by control or fear.
Can you tell me how you reversed this? I am in therapy and have come a long way but have such a long way to go. It’s hard to break out of these old habits and that recorded bs I have from my parents in my subconscious. Playing all day long.
That's so true. And I do believe that happens to all parents in some way. We unconsciously mimic those patterns, when in reality is something that caused us sadness or often traumas. Contradictory?! It sounds like but is a reality. Its has also happen to me, and I took some years to really "see" what I was doing and the consequences as negative effects in regards the education and emotional stability in son's life. And when you have a partner, is always a benefit in these kind of matter, cause they often "see" what other can´t and help you. In my case, I'm a single parent, but although is more difficult is not impossible to acknowledge yourself, as I did. So first we should acknowledge and accept that reality and be willing to heal whatever that hurt/trauma was in order to have a better and healthy relationship with our kids. We must see and understand that by doing that we are not just healing our traumas but the future generations cause what destroy families and future generations is that bad cycle that often seems impossible to break. But it just takes One person to start. I've been doing some therapy for some years, like Family Constellation. Family Constellation is a therapeutic process that consists of freeing individuals from reproducing destructive feelings inherited from ancestors. Imagine that a good part of the feelings, attitudes and memories of your ancestors indirectly reverberated in you. Family Constellation is a therapeutic process that consists of freeing individuals from reproducing destructive feelings inherited from ancestors. Imagine that a good part of the feelings, attitudes and memories of your ancestors indirectly reverberated in you.
Not only slow erosion of our soul, but deteriorated health as well...Thank you! God bless you for helping parents, as there is not much help out there and lots of parents suffer in silence....
Yulia Orme,you look stunning 🌹 🌹🌷 🌷🌺🌹 🌹🌺🌺🌺
That's what is happening to me. Thanks for letting my words out
I’ve seen people like that before. They bully me through joking. Then they say I can’t take a joke. But I know they are not joking. The bullying will make it seem like you’re crazy and wrong for not taking a joke.
OMG thank you sir just listening you make me feels better.
Some people in this world are really nasty. Thanks lesson learned now!!
The best resume I ever listen about This subject, straight to the point
100% exactly what I removed from my life ! Thank you for clarifying perfectly !
Brooke Goslin,Really!.I'm so happy for you ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️
Bullies certainly are a nasty lot, I don't participate in their bullying practices.
I am dealing with all of this. Everything you have shared, has given me a sense of self. Thank you for taking the time to share this, it's impacting more than you know. You are a hero for us listening and desperate for advice, xoxo.
No matter what good I did, I was still the bad guy. Well, they can stuff that up their nose.
Your videos feel like a much needed hug, I’ve needed for awhile. I appreciate your kindness and assistance on dealing with “difficult” people.
I love the way you express your message and the tone of your voice
Boy does this hit the nail on the head.
Gina Morse, you look gorgeous 🌹 🌹🌷 🌷🌺🌹 🌹🌷 🌷🌺.
omg... my husband is this... this is all him. :-( it hurts my heart. you make me feel like I'm not crazy
Dr Ben again you are so right.
My problem is that i have a multiple personality disorder narsisstic 8 yr older sister...and since the passing of my wonderful parents to Heaven, I no longer have mom and dad to DEFEND me!
She delights in this now situation, because it's now open season on me. Allowing her to do ANYTHING she wants to do to destroy me!
I try to get away from her...and her vicious and blood thirsty attacks on me, however she keeps following me...continuing with her behind the door wicked assaults and unimaginable lies against me!
Short of knowing the mafia, she WILL NOT GO AWAY!
High boundaries really pisses them off. Then not allow them to minimize their behavior.
Your voice is so soothing....
Thank you for the video.
Ben, you're right! Almost died trying to please. I was 92 pounds and had eroded soul too. My grand babies the reason.
Your voice is so soothing as soon as I hit on your video I stopped feeling anxious and hypersensitive! So nice and calming!
I hope you are still on here! I thank you for simple narrations!
Ben is great! What a nice person! He is right. Respect yourself and tell them to respect you. Respect them if you can. Not seeing my grandchildren is heartbreaking! There is nothing I can do but show love to them. I cannot change my daughter…I have tried everything. I am damned if I do and damned if I don’t. No amount of money, gifts, or attention is enough My other two daughters are wonderful. Life just spoiled my daughter…she is beautiful and was popular, homecoming queen, etc. I just cannot afford to financially afford her. I love all of them so much and they know it…which is not a good thing! I. am calling Ben!
why does it take us so long to realize we have been manipulated? Do we perhaps reason our way out of the truth, think to ourselves 'maybe this is normal and i am being over the top in my reactions?' i don't know how many times i have been made the butt of the joke, been called stupid, made to look stupid in front of others and it's all just a 'joke', sure it is. more like miserable humans who can't feel good unless they target somebody
RLP1989 because we are polite and kind ! And we would make fun of others for thrills. It's not how we are built, but it's how these things are built. It's great when we finally get it hey !! I'm still learning but feel on the right track. All best !!
good comment
I love this guy.
It feels like being slimed...
wow.. needed this
+leanne smith
Hi Leanne,
Glad it helped.
Now plan and act. Be brave and strong and determined.
Thousands have gotten away and you can too!
Best wishes,
Ben
Dad this your video is awesome! I've come across all kinds of intimidation in my life, emotional & physical intimidation which have kept me crippled for years, emotional blackmails, backbiting, backstabbing & calling me all sorts of names behind me & even in presence without a single fear or remorse, they pull me down in various ways & instead of resisting them I becomes very nervous even to talk back at them this has really affected me emotionally, physiologically & had cost a lot of missed opportunities & placements in life, I becomes very nervous, fretful & depressed thinking of how to break loose from them! I'm a full grown man of 42yrs able bodied, strong but yet very vulnerable emotionally, I can be dangerous when anyone have the guts to attack Me but words I becomes Brocken regretting all day because of an Error I committed over 6 yrs ago I became an objects of ridicule, a case study because I've feeling for them never wanting to hurt anyone but I'm been hurt continually. Your video has taught me nothing but the whole truth about my Situations that's why I'm taking the time to write u back, pls Sir help me, guide me because I can't be reporting everyone to the police, how can I stood my ground firmly? Thks with utmost regards
This is my teenage daughter. Have been living this nightmare since she was 12. She's 15. Any dicipline I give out she has a meltdown and a torrent of verbal abuse in the form "u ruined my life, u gave me depression, u don't care about me, ur an evil person, pls die etc etc."
I've already sent her to live elsewhere 3 times and 3 years later I'm back to square one.
I give up. I'm pregnant and I can't cope with it. I have a severely autistic son who is 6 to prioritise and a girl 7 and her behaviour is toxic for them. I want her out but my family won't take her again as they don't want the hassle and they believe her over me her twisted version of how I am so cruel.
I don't know what to do.
I had woman apt. manager who is a bullie in a senior and disabled apts. She felt entitled to my time and others and when she couldnt get my time (cause I was busy) she'd yelled in an intimidating loud tone at me and orderd me to come back to explain to her why I didn't spend time getting to know her. She was scarey all I did was continue to complain to her Supervisor.
Ben Thank You for being so supportive of Targets of EM/Abuse. I've been searching for info. on what I started realizing was going on. It was a gradual process of realizing and it was traumatizing to realize. But then trying to get understanding, and advice from "Professionals" was surprisingly difficult. I'd like to talk to you but money is a major issue. When I get some I will contact you to find out what you charge.
Hi Sunny,
I look forward to talking.
Stay strong and brave and determined.
Thousands have gotten free (mentally, physically and emotionally) before you and you can too.
You Spirit is calling you.
Best wishes,
Ben
Thanks for your encouragement.
Thank you so much for this Ben. Your kind words gave me some strength.
I recall growing up in the 80s as a small child, I was bullied by my own dad and I remember being beaten up twice!! He would shut me in the kitchen then just lay into me!! I ran away when I was nine years old!! He found me and of coarse beat me up again!!! My mother divorced him when I was 14!! But she moved her perverted boyfriend in all most straight away!! So Another chapter began!!! For years ahead I was groomed and my mother said it was my fault😢 She said it was the way I dressed and how I acted... She said she didn’t believe me!!! and so it continued for years.......I lost all respect for my mother because she should have been protecting her children! I fell Completely out of love with her!!!! Then I realised, she could have protected me from the beatings I had from dad!! I had nothing but hate for my mother!!! There was no going back... So as soon as I was old enough I moved out! I now have children of my own! I can look into there eyes and see there so happy. And I’m the best mother and would do anything for them to keep them safe.... I haven’t seen my mother since I walked out! That was so many years ago!! She’s still living with that pervert! Now my younger sister has told me I’m not family because I hurt mother!! Music to my ears! I wouldn’t go back for all the tea in China......Wish my child hood and Teenage years where happier times! I tend to try and forget as much as I can......
Dr. Ben Leichtling I absolutely 💯 % loved this video. Struggling.
How if the narcissist relies on the goodness of the victim and then they tell it to everyone who loves the victim, the narcissist tell the victim not to disappoint everyone who trust the victim
It is sad story perhaps and seems it happens to me and I have struggled to get out from this freakin hell prison
I try to escape but sadly they use the people who trust me as a weapon
Ben is great. I suffer a lot from cyber bullying but had difficulties explaining what it was exactly that I was going through and feeling that I would just be laughed at if I tried to explain this to another person. Now I know the hurt and the pain that I went through actually is actually a thing known to others including myself I can go and show other people this video. Thank you very much Ben, your contribution to this platform are greatly appreciated.
Thank you! This was amazing!
Thank you so much for these videos they have been valuable to me!!!
What if the bully is your own father and you are forced by an economical situation in your family at 22yrsold to stick with him
Dr. Ben Leichtling someone commented that just listening to you made them feel better. The same for ne too. This is the first time I am seeing any of your videos.
One of the things my 18 year old daughter will do is accuse me of something ridiculous. I'll try to defend myself, and then suddenly she shows that I started a fight!
One day recently I sat beside her, and asked if she wanted help with her homework. Somehow, this turned into how I should be fine with her drinking at friends' houses, etc. She goes into public and says things like, "I'm wearing my boyfriend's underwear as shorts!" (She was, and you really can't tell, but I was embarrassed. She could tell, so she got mad that I want to silence who she is, etc. etc.)
I'm so tired.
Kick her our the house, she's a young adult and can be on her own. You don't have to deal with her.
Bosses, co-workers, even your staff
they pull energy from your lower stomach, navel area. can feel outta breath when talking to them, as they won't let you finish sentences, interupt often, so you got to repeat yourself or they look at you doubting, always judgeing you.
it's exhausting and not worth communicating in this way. if it feels like you"re expending too much Energy just to explain some thing, the "Energy bully" could very well be sitting back and be leeching off your vital Energy ))that you need to thrive in this life.check for leaks, seal them off visually. refuse to be robbed again l did and my Extremly controlling mother became indignant she could feel my strength growing inside for me not her) my decisions become firmer, my sense of self deepened . my blocking of her when she wanted to pull from me l could feel it, it was intense, extremly draining. there used to just stealing and getting away with it. eroding your soul is right ..!! you become lethargic, unable to deal with simple tasks. develop panick attacks not knowing why ?? have your personnal power tooken away they make a independent strong person into a dependent fearfull co-dependent. complain that you'v changed for the worse if you put up any kind of personal healthy bounderie
Wiccan Goddess so accurate
Its witchcraft evil intent is always witchcraft
Wiccan Goddess My husband is the ultimate bully. I’m crazy, cannot communicate, am the reason we argue, I’m the one with the problem, he uses the word “I” about a thousand times a day, and he’s the most loving person when I don’t disagree with him. My “feelings” are always wrong and if I don’t have facts to rattle off, he’s all in my face. He asked me an insignificant question yesterday and because I didn’t answer him immediately, he said snippy like “it’s NOT a TRICK question. Like I’m stupid. He interrupts me, asks me for facts, and disregards my feelings. You know, he is the one making me crazy. And not to mention, he’s the ultimate “gaslighter”. Bully bully bully.
Wiccan Goddess I agree, it’s so exhausting and I give up, I used to be a stronger person, now I don’t know who I am anymore.
Best advice ever.
Thank you for your video, some situations are just almost impossible to get out, I notice myself becoming a bully to defend myself from a evil bully partner, just trying to make he taste his own poison, but it's so tiring, i get exhausted and think about to kill myself to get out from this horror movie. and in the end they are the only victims. What hell i went because i thought i found the mr right.
+Alice M Gegers
Hi Alice,
No, he’s not Mr. Right.
You’re right, it’s exhausting to fight and endless fight. He won’t change.
The solution is to get away and make a better life. Then you won’t waste any time or energy fighting with people like him. You’ll find the family of your heart, mind and spirit.
Be brave, strong and determined. Get free.
Best wishes,
Ben
Alice M Gegers,you are too beautiful 🌹 🌹🌷 🌷🌺🌹 🌹🌷 🌷🌺 to be with such man
Getting better on sound quality!
Thanks Ben so needed this.
i live with a narcopath mother, a psychopath brother, and an old abusive father.
These are the tricky ones.
THKU for ur work. my issue is that i was 'trained' n raised by a pathological N-ist. during my life i have learned to defend myself against the people i have drawn to me...so i myself have been pushy, 'in your face' and stood up against bullys by being agressive n assertive with their behavior. my problems come when other 'judge' me saying i am bully n selfish...i am shunned isolated n told i am negative when in fact i am identifying bullys n their destructive energy.
i admit that i am learning that my defensiveness n my 'warrior' persona can be intimidating altho i am a kind n decent woman mother grandmother n friend. i have been working with a woman from London, Heidi Sawyer, who is a coach for psychic and empathic sensitives like myself. in her private circle [15$ monthly fee] we are learning to identify N-ists and to use appropriate techniques to protect ourselves n grow our confidence. in this new-age of PC anyone who brings up negative issues is labeled negative, creating a misconception n isolation that is a serious problem for someone like me who has struggled to survive the cruelty i've experienced. i am digging myself out of poverty right now or would surely add you to my personal empowerment work. maybe in future as i grow my bizness, i can work with you
i wanted to share my feelings n issues as i want to help n teach as much as i can to help good people keep unwanted threats n intimidation out of their lives.
thx again for your kindness n concern for peace in our world. yara
it feels like being set up to fail by the people that claim to love you
earthminus10 yep
it was all going so well until he said 'the best way to handle bullies is to hire me ... '
oops ...
+Sally Ironic
Thanks Sally,
You’re absolutely right.
Best wishes,
Ben
+Sally Ironic
Hi Sally,
Thank you. Stay strong, brave and determined.
Create a fabulous life.
Best wishes,
Ben
yes It was dissapointing!
YOU HAVE NO VIDEOS ON YOUR CHANNEL YA DINGUS
Hire the man..😒
Hi Ben, I am dealing with one at work. She was just given a disciplinary warning. I know now that I am a target. I need your advice!
Hi Alex,
Document everything. Line up witnesses and allies.
Since all situations are different, I offer individualized help so you can develop strength, courage, determination and skill, and create and carry out an effective plan. Please, call or email me to schedule phone or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES (877-828-5543).
You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal (Ben@BulliesBeGone.com).
What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul!
Best wishes,
Ben
Thank you Ben! I am going to call soon!
Im the one who always be a target being emotional bullied by friends, siblings and even my parents. All they see in me is negativity im so confiused and lost myself. I want to die but im afraid. Thats why i always alone and only talk to myself 🙂
Hi,
Learn who the real jerks are and how you can create the life you dream about. Don't waste the rest of your life.
Since all situations are different, I offer individualized help so you can develop strength, courage, determination and skill, and create and carry out an effective plan. Please, call or email me to schedule phone, Zoom, Messenger, WhatsApp or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES (877-828-5543). If you get voice mail, I’m counseling someone else. Please leave a message and I’ll call you back as soon as I can.
You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal (Ben@BulliesBeGone.com).
What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul!
I can help you work through a complicated situation.
Best wishes,
Ben
thank you Ben for all your professional work. I learn so much from you
4:44. Truth
The end result is that we end up being friendless/lonely....what do we do about that
karma kavi: I so hear you. How can you ever really trust anyone? Well, you can't ever totally know or trust anything, so you have to do the best you can and be ready to walk away if necessary. The more you learn the easier this gets, to tell when someone is showing the bad signs of bullying you. Don't become a hermit, it's not good for you, but step out gently and look for some places you can add something; volunteer. But be aware, bullies can be anywhere. Don't rely totally on any one person or organization. As for friends, just take it a little slow, get to know someone well before you "commit" to anything long term, and be aware that you must learn to strengthen your boundaries, don't LET them bully you. Stop it at the first sign. Just don't take their "crap."
karma kavi No, you won't end up lonely! In fact, you'll be amazed after you cut off all toxic people, the right ones come in!
What if you live with them. I just keep going back and forth he is or not but he is always trying to attack me for something I found myself walking on eggshells because I just couldn't take the constant attacks and that is exactly what they want. He is always trying to emotionally blackmail me and then when he says something to me I don't feel like answering there is a huge attack. He thinks I should just do whatever he says. He is a bully but how do I keep my peace if I can't move out because I am too young. What should I do if he is always trying to attack me for everything and staring at me and then is jealous of everything everyone does including me? If someone gives me compliment in front of him he turns into a completely different person. If someone likes me his face looks so disturbed. If I do something he can't do he looks at me as if I am doing something wrong! What could I do?!
I want to call but afraid I'll find out I'm awful and it's all my fault for not changing. how can you blame someone else for things going wrong for you, but yourself
if u were raised or threatened in early life by a bully N-ist you will blame urself cuz thats how they train U to hide their shame. ur #1 job for rest of ur life is to forgive urself everytime u blame urself u are doing that bullys work for them. look at ur behavior. did you purposely try to hurt or humiliate another. if answer is no then you can HONESTLY know u r blameless and therefore forgive yourself. if answer is yes then change ur behaviur to kindess. but i seriusly doubt the answer is yes bcuz a bully NEVER askes this to themselves. please continue to work so u can help others that have suffered. find a person wh ocan help that you trust and all will be well
Hi 9 ¾,
There are plenty of people who use blaming to get power and control. Or simply for pleasure of beating someone up.
Probably you’re the target, not the perpetrator.
Please call.
Since all situations are different, I offer individualized help so you can develop strength, courage, determination and skill, and create and carry out an effective plan. Please, call or email me to schedule phone or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES (877-828-5543).
You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal (Ben@BulliesBeGone.com).
What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul!
Best wishes,
Ben
Hi Ben, Hello from the U.k. Great advice) Do you have a website?
+Christopher O'Farrell
Definitely - BulliesBeGone.com
Have fun,
Ben
Thank you 🌞
good description but tells you nothing about stopping it. The person who physically attempts to control you/bully and intimidate. I am very fearful of these types, not because I am fearful of them, I am fearful of ME getting into trouble with the police, if they push too far. how to get around that?
An apt. Manager for Seniors and disabled whom should have been fired when she started fighting with the tenants in a hostile way, management sent her to anger management classes, she yelled at me for calling the Police cause I had an intruder opening my door with a key and vandalizing my mattress and some of my belongings, I had a suspicion it could be the maintenance man whom I gave permission to enter one day to come home and find white stuff looked like sperm or caulking it was perverted as hell!! on my carpet near my magazine with a sexy lady modeling a dress. She s yelling your going to get him fired, the Police didn't do nothing cause I couldn't prove what that was or who is the Intruder.
What a great video/advice. Thank you so much. I would love to talk with you about this
Sums up my step daughters
Thank you for this I've been trying to help my friend sundry girl she's afraid she's become narcissistic due to a line of women who are the same mistreating and neglecting and abusive. My dear friend has PTSD she's open about it on her Channel but she doesn't talk so much about it because her talk therapist and I believe her psychiatrist knows about her Channel I'm not those sure? But she is very bullying family members I will share your video with her and I support your channel I'm sure she will too. She's having a really hard time with triggers and the holidays and family threats and bullying and they tell her after dealing with PTSD and diagnosed in 1 disabled for 12 years from my understanding we overheard her aunt saying it's not even real I tried to stick up for her but unless she's actually physically bleeding or has a broken arm or a bruise they think she's not sick but my poor friend has been dealing with it all her life and diagnosed 12 years ago. Thank you kind sir
Thanks, sir!
May need to call you!
Very difficult when they are mental health team.
Did anybody else realize that they share some of these qualities.
your too good.
I just want to thank you! I love and may call you!:)
Thank you!!!
is it wrong to say be the wolf than the prey? well i sometimes bully the bullies
Hey teacher how to get rid of toxic parents and siblings?
Superlike🙂
Spounds like it makes sense/
I get in my solar plex.
How I can contact you
True that why got rid them To aggressive to toxic
Wgys this guy here
Hi I need help from you Ben.
Lawyers. Covert manipulater s.
I have a situation. Are you still in business.
Hi Kyleigh,
Yes, definitely.
Since all situations are different, I offer individualized help so you can develop strength, courage, determination and skill, and create and carry out an effective plan. Please, call or email me to schedule phone, Zoom, Messenger, WhatsApp or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES (877-828-5543). If you get voice mail, I’m counseling someone else. Please leave a message and I’ll call you back as soon as I can.
You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal (Ben@BulliesBeGone.com).
What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul!
I can help you work through a complicated situation.
Best wishes,
Ben
@@BenLeichtling thank you for getting back to me. I will reach out.
You keep on publicly identifing a problem that we all know is abound...but offer only a private solution??? Are you seeking to resolve these problems...or make some coin telling us more of what we already know? May I remind you that the title of your video is "Stop Emotional Intimidators, Manipulators and Secret Narcissists". I see no attempt to show how to "Stop Emotional Intimidators, Manipulators and Secret Narcissists". Thankyou.
He needs to feel shame for trying to profit on people who are in pain, people who are desperate to stop getting hurt. In my opinion this dude is a bully himself for what he does to the people who are in need of compassion. A bully is taking your US Civil Rights from you so at the advice of my lawyer I contacted the FBI. Contact a lawyer not ‘this joker
Hi Jen,
I can't find your response to Natalie's comment. Please post it again.
Thanks,
Ben