Absolutely, my husband is a great provider and a high value man because he has positive values, morals, respect, and integrity. He appreciates my mindset and femininity.
As a married man, I often say this and people think I’m being mean. Everyone isn’t meant to be married. The number of divorces and marriages solidify this stance. People can be great within or without marriage. Why put yourself through so much turmoil based on a societal pressure. Social media has made people think that there is no work involved in marriage, and when you put on “magical” rings you sail off in happiness in the sunset. It requires a ton of sacrifice and being selfless. Also, sometimes the trauma that some people experience is irreparable which rules them out of being able to be married. I’m sorry, but I just want people to be the best version of themselves.
SO many critical lessons from this episode (for men AND women)! 1. Take your TIME! Moving at lightning speed is NEVER going to get you to a healthy place. 2. Take the time to HEAL in between relationships. No monkey branching or rebounding. When you do these things, you are far more likely to continue to make critical mistakes because there is no self reflection or self awareness. 3. Emotional immaturity. Yes, age plays a factor, however we need to learn from our experiences and make different choices to have different outcomes. 4. Living together before marriage. Statistics show that this DOES NOT contribute to long term marriage satisfaction. 5. Children out of wedlock. Again, it is NEVER a good idea to be a “free wife” to a man. 6. Sexual intimacy before marriage. Again, when we are out of order, there can be no order. God is not a God of confusion. We have MANY people in the space right now who “claim” to be Christians but are not obedient to God’s word and His will. The principles of faith never change. They are the same in 1820 as they are in 2024 and beyond. We are trying to rewrite God’s word. I share all of this respectfully. We have all fallen short of God’s glory, however if we repent or claim to “love God”, then it is our BEHAVIOR that demonstrates this. Jesus provides forgiveness AND tells us to “sin no more”. We often forget the last part. We should SEE your healing work as that is the only way we know the work is working. God knows everyone’s heart and only God can judge another.😇🙏🏽🙌🏽❤️
I wish I had the back bone these ladies had. I wanted to call my wedding off, but because of pressure and having no support, I went through with it. Only to divorce 3 years later (6 years together) and living in so much regret. Ladies, I commend you.
Same,I wasn’t in love with him I mostly did it because I felt sorry for him 🤦🏾♀️ even tho he’s a good man I should’ve just stayed friends now we 23yrs together 9yrs married,five kids nd three grandkids later now I really want that person that God send for me I wanna be in love nd just in like 😢
As a Christian woman, I would never encourage women to pursue having children outside of wedlock. God doesn’t care about your “clock”. He wants you to do it HIS way not through a sperm donor. God gives us free will and won’t condemn us but His desire is for us to have children in marriage. 1:42:11
@CeeceeH1819 Point to the scriptures you're talking about. Because marriage in the bible was sex, the act of it constituted a marriage, which is why you consumate the marriage by having sex. RELIGION MADE MARRIAGE WHAT IT IS TODAY. The Bible also makes it clear that if marriage is not for you, you shouldn't do it and that is clear as day also. Sexual immorality happens in tons of marriages too.
Summary the first lady got a man that was once incarcerated, addicted to gambling, was friend-zoned for the longest, only proposed because he didn't want to let her go so she called it off. the second lady called off the wedding because her man asked the dad for permission, was prideful, love bombed her, and showed off his wealth too much so she called it off. the third lady dated a wealthy doctor, but he cheats and condescending.
@@tashboog5458 I don't blame you. I watched the 3 hrs. hoping for something out of the ordinary but was disappointed...3 hrs. is a long time.. trying to save folks the time.
First red flag 🚩 Full steam ahead relationship right out of prison. It is easy to be disciplined while in prison. Talking that "prison babble"! Second red flag 🚩 proposal in the midst of negative struggle in relationship!
Wow is all if we stick with the truths and be more intentional with our choices and bodies and the fact that children do better in healthy two parent homes
@@johnlane8229 "Healthy" is the key word!!! So many 2-parent homes are not! And kids know and feel more than adults think they know and feel. We were all kids at a point...
I can relate to every situation these ladies described. Such a great interview. It’s so good to hear honest stories.. makes you not feel so alone or beat yourself up when you know others have similar experiences. Also the wisdom they share is priceless. Especially if no one taught you how to date.. love this. These ladies are special.
I’ve been engaged four times, married twice & divorced twice, one passed away and the other i called off 😢and every thing all three of the ladies said I experienced some of not all of what they experienced one way or another with men throughout my lifetime. In my twenties it was most definitely societal pressures that made me say “yes” and “I do” … but like they said , and especially at 49 I personally don’t need a man laid up next to me to suck the life out of me And especially If he ain’t on the same page and frequency as me I’d really rather be in peace by myself.
That's why you have to inventory yourself. Renew the right spirit, line up with The Most High and He will bring you to your husband....and that man will be ready to be a good husband... We have to get out the matrix of this world because this world does not value marriage but money...and that's the apple of most people's eyes, money. The prize is a good one. If you dive into God, He will shine so bright on you!!!! She keeps talking about alignment, but alignment with who??? Money, a successful woman???? Thiscworld has built up the black woman so much that we don't value our black men and we set the standard based on the other face man that does not have the same obstacles or hurdles to cross... just think about it😢😢😢
@@sg5720 yes that is exactly what I’m doing for the past 5 years and life’s been peaceful, I’ve healed, grown and cultivate wonderful relationships with like minded individuals.
Steven Jackson arranged the prenuptial agreement months in advance paid for separate lawyers so she was independently represented and she waited to the last minute in an attempt to use the under dearest defence to counter the prenuptial agreement also she insisted on a pastor who attempted to convince him that he didn't need a prenuptial agreement. She has also used the courts to harass him after the fact
It’s crazy how even accomplished & fine women buy into the whole “ with a high value man you can and can’t..” mindset. And the thing is it’s mostly about how much money he got and how busy he is. Rarely about his character. Just goes to show you women this beautiful this intelligent this driven be dating the same mindset as women who are none of those things. Only difference i see is these women eventually recognize the need to walk away and have resources to do so while other women put up with nonsense. Women collectively need to stop associating “value” with just money when it comes to men. This is the reason why a lot of men don’t work on character mental health or spirituality/ a relationship with God. These men think all they need is money and they can call shots and show up how they want because they see how much women feed into it.
One key point i digested from these woman is they all gave in to societal pressure ! They all fed to their partner that they wanted marriage without fully vetting them for that position. Ive done this too. But they mentioned a KEY strategy to LET GO of the theory and observe the action. And ladies we must do the same for ourselves. Are we respecting our boundaries ? Our non negotiables? Our self love and mental health ? Our communication? Each person plays a role in a failed relationship. We must be just as accountable as the people we blame. ❤
Shar here! I was so nervous that I don’t think I really answered the questions the way I really wanted to answer them. 🥴 Aside from that, thank you for allowing me on stage!! I have never spoken about my past relationship to anyone except my close friends and family, so this was a tough one for me, hence why I was nervous and missing a lot of information in my story, but it was much needed for me and my healing journey. I love you guys, I enjoy the channel soooo much, I’ve been watching you guys for the last year or so. I’m definitely going to be a fan for life. ❤❤❤
Thank you for sharing. You provided a lot of insight with your story. Our stories had many similarities and I hope you come into your blessings and forever partner in divine timing.
Thank you so much for sharing such a vulnerable, intimate part of your life with us. I’m sure that’s not easy but it’s courageous! Glad it was healing for you!! We’ve learned so much from your experience
Yup. That always happens to me too!! Whenever I get questioned about the past - I just suddenly cannot really articulate it and I forget to say so much so it doesn’t even make sense. And, I haven’t even watched the episode yet but I read the comment first and can already relate.
Anyone straight out of jail shouldn’t be getting married especially if they’ve been locked up for long periods of time. And why entertain it. I’m sure there was men out there. And it’s crazy we will have children and not want to marry the father. We are raised to be relationship minded.
It seems as though these days having children with someone is less of a commitment then it is getting married. How do you allow yourself to have children with someone but yet fine getting married to the wrong person is going too far?
Bingo! Because the priority goes towards the man's seed rather than marriage. Men have to value their seed and save it for their wife. Women always prioritize a baby before marriage.
I'm divorced in 2015, my ex husband and I dated for 3 yrs, lived today for 2 yrs, married for 2 yrs. There is something about 7 yrs. It was a real testing time for us both. We both had different gaols and vision. We were selfish. We were not committed to each other as we thought we were. Lord have mercy. For those who are planning to get married, please take as much as pre-marriage advice and guidance as possible. Surround yourself with long term. Married couples. Pray together and put God first. By grace, by truth and by faith. ❤
According to the descriptions on these shows, I'm a "high-value" man. I consider myself a man of ambition and purpose, and I immediately recognized my wife's potential when she connected with me on social media 15 years ago. At the time, I was 35 and she was 28. During our first date, I was struck by her beauty and the alignment of our values, particularly her femininity. While we've faced challenges, we've found common ground on crucial matters. I agree with Ari Nicole's view that there's a right way to approach relationships, as outlined in the Bible. My wife's choice of chastity and femininity means she'll be financially secure for life.
27:07 The act of getting married is easy but the older I get the more I realize marriage is serious/takes two extremely mature self aware people that like each other FULLY to endure the hard work required to thrive in a marriage. Alignment is not the end all be all… a “happy” marriage is more about working together/making two people work together long term moreso than just feeling happy all the time.
How do I get aligned for marriage if society and family does not prepare me well enough to be successful as a wife/partner in marriage? Not enough UA-cam/podcast on that one!. My only reference is a high statistic of divorce or breakup within 2-3 years.
I feel like Sarah was doing and saying the most with her last comment. I agree with the person who warned to not continue to have children in iffy situations. We can control ourselves, use protection, be aware that any UNprotected sex can produce a child. This spoken from someone who was conceived in a crazy situation - smh Lastly, after my divorce, I was a single mother - in my opinion, children need both parents.
Yes, thank you ladies very much for all the knowledge that you have shared on this platform. Thank you Harley initiated. Thank you for sharing your platform with the world. I’m glad that whenever I watch the show…I walk away with something every time. God Bless
I think a lot of women have been sold fairytales, and this starts right from our childhood and Disney. I think a lot of women imagine the wedding day and not the marriage. I can say this is very true for myself, because if I’m being honest, I’ve always desired the wedding and that’s purely because of what society has fed me. If I’m actually honest with myself, I don’t desire marriage at all.
@@loulousworld92 I don’t necessarily disagree but there are quite a few (myself included) who know better. And apparently the women on the panel did too, as they opted out. I think men, too have been sold a fairytale-they can do whatever, drag their feet and have a bunch of desirable women waiting and eager for them whenever they decide to settle down and propose.
I’m glad you see the truth about your children’s father because if he was a sincere father nothing and I mean nothing couldn’t stop him from spending time with his children. He mad bc you don’t want him so he’s taking it out on his children. But, I will let him know that his children missing him and ask him to spend time with them.
That man KNOWS his children miss him. He simply doesn't care because he knows children have been brainwashed to forgive their mediocre and deadbeat parents.
I’m sorry ladies! I feel like we need to stress all of our options before divorces and calling off engagement! Her story about her children crying for their daddy hurt my soul!
We absolutely SHOULD however that doesn't mean tolerate bullshit and engaged is the final call to get out. Women should stress options on men they already married... Everything else is negotiable and a trial period
Obviously she was right if he disappeared on the children bc the relationship ended. That tells her everything she needed to know. It's better for her to have peace in her home than the illusion of a great family. Kids sense BS.
I’ve stayed in more than one relationship where I KNEW I didn’t want to be with the man forever. I was just wasting my time. “Practicing” Young and dumb. I would have accepted a ring but never planned a wedding. 1:21:07
I want women to stop thinking they can change a man because they held him down while he was locked up. There’s no such thing. She could have been working on herself that whole time and finding a man she didn’t have to “fix” 🙈💆🏾♀️🙊
I 10000% relate to all of this. H.I., thank you for creating the space to have this discussion. Ladies, thank you for having the courage to share your experiences.
Thank you Ladies for sharing your experiences. I learned my lesson to SET boundaries & be discipline & respectful with them. I stayed for years believing the relationship will get better, in communicating, we grew more distant over time...I'm on my own at peace to restart a new journey in time...🙏🏾
I bet ya'll wont clip the part where one lady said "accidents happen", Women have more birth control options than MEN, and the other lady said "its ok to abort a baby" but claims to be an ordain pastor?? Lord have Mercy this was a train wreck on so many levels, this was HORRIBLE to have been said on YOUR PLATFORM. Its giving NO ACCOUNATBILITY on these women, they all have been strung along in long term situationships, their fault, nothing profound or prolific spoken
It's definitely on BOTH people to use protection measures. And it's on both to be realistic about the relationship. HOWEVER, in these relationships where y'all want the men to lead, there's absolutely wayyyy too much leeway given to them for barely doing the minimum.
I don't think there is anything wrong being in support of woman who chooses a abortion. I believe her role is give woman SOUND advice and leadership, and show her the consequences , but if a woman still chooses abortion after that, it doesn't mean to abandon her. Those woman will still need support, council and leadership more than ever
Also it's God's will for people to wait and have sex until marriage..which means you should be waiting until marriage to have kids..of course people fall short of the glory and may not go that route and the kids are absolutely a blessing and never a mistake but God's will is to wait until marriage..that should be the goal and what I teach my children
Question, how far into the relationship do you go and you know this person isn’t for you? Why? And to have 3 proposals. I feel like no lessons were learned.
@@christieann1259 I initially thought this, but men switch up after milestones. You see her baby daddy abandoned their child after she broke up? Yeah.
Ohh STOP IT. They have plenty of dark skin tone BW on their show. There is not one reason you dark skin BW should be jealous of them when you guys are 98% of the black community and dominate in EVERYTHING. Also, the lady in the black jacket is dark skin. She is sitting in a bright light. Her hands and neck have a dark skin tone. Also, these ladies wear makeup and have man troubles just like y'all.
Ari didn't say anything wrong. These ladies out the gate jumped on her because she was advocating for the right thing. Because the world is doing something doesn't make it right. You tell her she's entitled to her opinions but then tell her never say this or that. These women smh
I felt that was interesting response especially as an Elder. I understand not wanting to place judgement. As a mother of 3. Who had 1 as teen mom, 2nd child with boyfriend who became my husband and had 3rd child. If I could have married and then had children why not but the issue fathers not being committed to God and committed fatherhood to relationship.
yasssss I felt that in my spirit watching the whole time, chelsea brought peace and serenity to my soul, hearing her voice, she's getting wifed quickly. Im so glad she said that. this was a great episode! Shout out to Sarah boo holding it down too.
I also wondered this too 👀 1 child before the proposal and then another child after she rejected him. That's why I say we have to always look at our role in the failure of a relationship as well
@@AngelaElikya ….. full circle moment. I’ll never understand this baby mother baby father culture….. it’s not cute. A man should prove his way into pro creating with you. Let’s just agree to disagree
@@AngelaElikya single until married. I have no interest in remaining a girlfriend forever. If this man was on his deathbed/ life support for a car accident or any other reason they wouldn’t recognize her wishes when they have to ask if they should pull the plug because why? Just a girlfriend. If he died the obituary will say long time friend because they were NOT married. I’ll NEVER give any man children if he cannot commit there’s no excuse. I can’t even leverage or file taxes together for family if I’m not married. So no.
I'm a Woman who's never had the desire 2b married or have kids. I left a relationship b/c he never made me a priority. Everything / Every1 was b4 me. He wasn't mean or anything. Just not 4 me.
Men do know within the first few months that they do want to marry you but they don’t ask that quickly usually!! Usually within the first year or two you get engaged and marry! And leadership and healthy timeframe
I have denied a marriage proposal. When I was 21 years old I accepted the proposal. Once I accepted his ring , I started seeing Narcissistic behaviors. He took me to his dad’s house for dinner. Dad shared some stories about this fiancé that confirmed tendencies I experienced before this dinner. On the way home, this man put me out of his car on the freeway- because I agreed with what his dad was saying about his tendencies.
I love Chelsea's energy, objectivity and vulnerability. I so identify with giving someone a chance to realize their potential and giving them me on credit so to speak and now kids are involved. God bless us. Praying your next chapter is your best. Evolved women deserve the happiness they seek. ❤
There definitely is a right and wrong way to do things. Truth hurts and these conversations need to be had. Women are in control of their womb, be careful with who you share it with. People doing it all the time doesn't make it acceptable. I've never understood creating a whole human that you'll be tied to for the rest of your lives as being a smaller thing than a commitment of marriage.
I wish there was some way to make women understand that nothing good happens to men in prison. It's trauma compounded by loss of freedom. That some men adjust a function with some relative normalcy after the experience, is the exception. The odds that a particular woman has found that exception is as good as lightning striking the same place twice. It happens more than we know, but we don't know where and when it happened
I am really the girl in black jacket my kids dad did the same I gave him 13yrs. He was a good dad so I thought but the breakup showed who he is. My kids are heartbroken all they know is us and now it’s just me and them. I feel for her because although I’m better with out it’s still hard and I still wish that things could have worked I wish he changed. I called off the wedding too he gave me a fake ass proposal 10yrs later. My story is deep.
Every great man has a better woman behind him.. this saying is commonly accepted for a reason. A mans fire 🔥 needs a woman air to be great. If your man talks about fire but he doesn’t have fire all your air will do is allow him to float around. Working together in a healthy relationship lifts both the women and the man.
Sarah is beautiful and seems to have such a heart. I love the way she speaks and watch how everyone listens to her "perform" while speaking. I especially like how she finishes her sentences instead of giving us pieces of points. Women next to her gives partial points that I want to hear the rest of. She's sweet but strong.
A lot of married females. Envy some…Of the single by-Choice ladies. ✅ This is what I learned over my lifetime, darling. 💯 You must love yourself, first. 💜Make sure GOD, is at the forefront, Periodtt. 🔥🥰
As a Christian woman practically following Christ, I believe it’s not a possible thing to be best friends with a man. We can like them and call upon them for assistance with works that they can help us do. We can have wholesome gatherings inviting them and give advice when they want it but staying “best friends” sounds like something beyond a type of friendship I can have with a sister. Yes people grow in relationships and instead of a man whom you’ve been with a very long time to be convinced and hence open up to that you’re the one for him and profess it or maybe you’re not, he starts saying, “you’re my best friend”. What prompts that? He got some benefits of you. When the benefit stops or pauses, you’re bye bye 👋. Many times I’ve seen women falling in love with this guy and he calls it, “we are best friends” but her needs are not being met emotionally cos men are simple. What he calls you is what you truly are to him - you can’t change him except he reconsiders himself after life teaches him he truly needs your type of woman and that’s possible only when you set him off. If he is meeting your emotional needs it would mean sexually and that is not good in Gods eyes and this comment is not for you. So if a lady sees real love and is healed and settled herself, she will know but if she is only showing affection and he claims “friends” she will be tortured emotionally until they separate. If you call me your best friend and you cannot marry me, I’M out! You’ll notice it’s the men that say it first, “you’re my best friend”. A lady wouldn’t say that first. We are naturally wired to wait for them to profess their intentions towards us. So once a dysfunctional male says, “you’re my best friend” but he still can’t express that it is you he wants as a wife, my dear 🏃♀️ Don’t fall for, “you’re my best friend” talks. Best friends should not sleep without hearing from you. A Best friend should be ready to die for you lol but who in this world can be that person for another gender at that? So no point deceiving ourselves calling men our best friends. They are using us until they find a wife and that one becomes his best friend pro max 😂
Glad to see that one of the sisters (the second one) actually took accountability for her CHOOSING that man. No doubt all of those men sound like narcissicsts, however we know intuitively that these men are not the ones. They do bring the opportunity for that partner to see what she needs to work on within herself, because like energies attract...traumas feed off of each other. We all are here because we have inner work to do. Yes, the "pretty girls" need healing too! Not hearing anything about spirituality and God in any of this, so men inclined to have some kind of authentic relationship with the Lord (no matter the religious system), usually have a deeper integrity than the crowd. But as sisters, their character must also be higher in order to attract the type of man that they really want. The sooner you realize your error in choice, and get out, the better. Do not let it drag out. Truly, however, there are no mistakes, just life situations presented to us to learn and grow.
Do the women read the Bible. Wife and mother is what we were created for. To be a help meet for our husband. We are so out of order because of the endoctrination of this world.. Proverbs 31 Women. Why do we always put God in the mix when we are not following the instructions he provided for a happy life in marriage. Marriage to Yah! Married to each other and not the world. This is sad because the idea that we now have as independent women are continuing to destroy the structure of a family. The order 1 Corinthians 11:1-12 We were created for each other. And I would remissed to not mention the man needs to know his place too as the head. We are just a bunch of broken people "so out of line with each other!" She said it many times..
One of the women is an "ordained pastor" at New Birth church. She promoted abortion and single motherhood right on live broadcast. So, there's that. 🤷🏾♀️
A lot of us women have actually learned history, and know that women were the first humans on the earth. So the contradiction of being "created as a helpmate to men" will never work anymore. Women are whole and should have the autonomy to be whtvr they choose.
@@morena1484 women were the first reproductive humans. not that's it's pure fact, but even in the story, Adam couldn't reproduce until he was fixed & Eve arrived
Man & woman was given the same purpose. We were created to have relationship with one another & with the world: Genesis 1:27-28 _So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth._
I respect that for the most part they don’t make the man the bad guy in the breakup. They recognize it was a bad situation or bad timing or never was going to work. And yes there are always problems on both sides!
Choosing to be a single parent isn’t smart. It’s actually selfish and hurts the child(ren) in the long run. Kids need both parents, PERIOD! In the wise words of Chris Rock. You can drive a car with your feet that don’t make it a good idea.
Just because the parents are no longer together does not mean the child no longer has both parents. Holding on to an unhealthy relationship for the sake of the child is also selfish and hurts the child in the long run .
@@jas1565 DUH! But in this case (if you were actually paying attention) you would know they were clearly talking about a group of women “choosing” to be single mothers by choosing a sperm donor not a relationship that went bad.
I agree with the woman most with the short hair, there is no excuse for even the busiest man to send a text b4 his day to let you know you are important and he's mindful of you. My husband does it all the time and a Supervisor of a team of 23! And balances his life and home well which is why he is successful
I am 62 - marriage annulled at 26 and called off 2 engagements in my 30s. All because of infidelity and attracting 1 covert and 2 overt NARCASSISTS respectively. I learned throughout those years that God's plan for my life was to literally be a Woman of Issiah 54 way back then. Over the last 30 years I have dated but my end goal has never been marriage and children...not because of my past experiences but because of my profound love and protection of my inner peace and purpose - 2 things I refuse to compromise. While I welcome the company of a self assured true man - it's a desire but not a must in my life. Women whos life goal is more than husband and kids - even those married with child- if they don't have inner peace and purpose still mask some sense of unhappiness until they get to ultimate place.
I don't think these ladies see anything from a man perspective. No disrespect, but none of you have gotten into a better situation with you new found understanding
This was amazing to watch. I just wish they would have included variety in the women they chose for this specific conversation so it could be a little more relatable. However this was a great episode!
Regarding the video of the man who called off the wedding, we don't know what was in that pre nup. He could have set her up real nice in the event of a divorce. Maybe she was being greedy and didn't want to sign. He gave her a warning. She didn't take heed. So does it really matter how he said it? She forced his hand and didn't get what she wanted.
Ooop that right there says it all about to cut this clip video off right there they ain’t been right since that incident happened thanks for the reminder who cares about your titles that won’t get you into the heavenly kingdom I’m out 👍🏾
You're the boss, boss ladies and bossmen. So you can pause whenever you want. Random texts will make your person smile and be the highlight of the day.
The way these women ridiculed the man for calling off a marriage at the altar and saying how he should have done it is wild. He deserves understanding and grace just as much as a woman that was "trying to make it work to the very end"... this is when women start being hypocrites and diminish our validity. This behavior in judgment discredits everything else they say. It's giving grandiose and codependency.
@nadirashabazz1033 the indication is how they make themselves the good and rigteous person in the situation. This is a sign of being codepent but it's very twisted and many ppl cannot grasp it. The codependent person actually gets ego boost and feelings of worth and value from being rhe good person. Listen to the 1st girls whole story she makes herself the hero and the man the villain. She says she was forced into entrepreneurship to save her man. She was forced into being naggy etc. This lady stayed all them years had kids and all that. She was not forced into anything. She chose to be there and be the "good" woman in an unhealthy and unstable situation. But when she tells the story she is so proud and grandiose cause she was the "better person" the hero that was taken advantage of... this is the untalked about part of codependency... cause if she didn't stay with that man she could not even have the contrast examples. She would not have been the hero to anyone. Some ppl depend on the other person being "no good" for them to announce how good they are.
@@nadirashabazz1033this woman stayed with someone for 5 years and had kids before the guy even proposed to her. So the real statement is if she was not codependent she would have left that person loooooong time ago.
The fact that you asked, why would he marry her anyway as a very good point, but to answer that he was still thinking on marrying her just like you guys stated that you had a pass and you were still doing things that didn’t make sense because you wanted what you wanted itin that moment of time. In my interpretation, I believe that the prenup was just the icing on a cake for the red flag. He had already seen before so that just sealed the deal. ❤❤❤
I will continue to tell everyone to take that man/woman to God (Jesus to be exact). They look like a great person but Lord is this who You have for me???
You really have to listen to the video in this totality, because he was passionate about what he was saying is because to be honest, he shouldn’t have been marrying her in the first place, because according to him, she had already made him feel like she would not take her his mom if something were to happen to him. that was something that was important to him so at that point of her, not wanting to sign a prenup, he know in his mind that was a red flag. he should’ve called it off anyway . her not signing a prenup was just another red flag that made him say no
👉DATING CARDS: hi.hardlyinitiated.com/datingcards
High earning DOES NOT equate to being high value ! We have to stop this label fr !!!!
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
True words here. In my experience they tend to want a traditional woman, but do not want to be a traditional man.
No dead ass. Plus men coined the phrase to try and dictate what women should want; doesn’t work that way.
Absolutely, my husband is a great provider and a high value man because he has positive values, morals, respect, and integrity. He appreciates my mindset and femininity.
It’s also doesn’t equate being a good man or woman
As a married man, I often say this and people think I’m being mean. Everyone isn’t meant to be married. The number of divorces and marriages solidify this stance. People can be great within or without marriage. Why put yourself through so much turmoil based on a societal pressure. Social media has made people think that there is no work involved in marriage, and when you put on “magical” rings you sail off in happiness in the sunset. It requires a ton of sacrifice and being selfless. Also, sometimes the trauma that some people experience is irreparable which rules them out of being able to be married. I’m sorry, but I just want people to be the best version of themselves.
❤❤❤ amen brother amen
I totally agree.
I agree
You're absolutely right.
Agree 200%
SO many critical lessons from this episode (for men AND women)!
1. Take your TIME! Moving at lightning speed is NEVER going to get you to a healthy place.
2. Take the time to HEAL in between relationships. No monkey branching or rebounding. When you do these things, you are far more likely to continue to make critical mistakes because there is no self reflection or self awareness.
3. Emotional immaturity. Yes, age plays a factor, however we need to learn from our experiences and make different choices to have different outcomes.
4. Living together before marriage. Statistics show that this DOES NOT contribute to long term marriage satisfaction.
5. Children out of wedlock. Again, it is NEVER a good idea to be a “free wife” to a man.
6. Sexual intimacy before marriage. Again, when we are out of order, there can be no order. God is not a God of confusion. We have MANY people in the space right now who “claim” to be Christians but are not obedient to God’s word and His will. The principles of faith never change. They are the same in 1820 as they are in 2024 and beyond. We are trying to rewrite God’s word.
I share all of this respectfully. We have all fallen short of God’s glory, however if we repent or claim to “love God”, then it is our BEHAVIOR that demonstrates this. Jesus provides forgiveness AND tells us to “sin no more”. We often forget the last part. We should SEE your healing work as that is the only way we know the work is working. God knows everyone’s heart and only God can judge another.😇🙏🏽🙌🏽❤️
Amen 🙏🏽!!
A very good read and choice of words. God Bless you Sister 🙏🏾❤
All Truth here .
I wish I had the back bone these ladies had. I wanted to call my wedding off, but because of pressure and having no support, I went through with it. Only to divorce 3 years later (6 years together) and living in so much regret. Ladies, I commend you.
You got out & can now heal!
Praying all is well with you!
Same,I wasn’t in love with him I mostly did it because I felt sorry for him 🤦🏾♀️ even tho he’s a good man I should’ve just stayed friends now we 23yrs together 9yrs married,five kids nd three grandkids later now I really want that person that God send for me I wanna be in love nd just in like 😢
As a Christian woman, I would never encourage women to pursue having children outside of wedlock. God doesn’t care about your “clock”. He wants you to do it HIS way not through a sperm donor. God gives us free will and won’t condemn us but His desire is for us to have children in marriage. 1:42:11
God never said any thing about marry before you carry. Religion said that!
The scriptures are very clear on sex, sexual immorality and marriage. Common sense tells you 'don't carry before you marry!'
@@CeeceeH1819so if it's only about marriage then you should never get divorced regardless of the circumstance.
@@mariejane1567 adultery is a scriptural ground for divorce. Separation is also scriptural
@CeeceeH1819 Point to the scriptures you're talking about. Because marriage in the bible was sex, the act of it constituted a marriage, which is why you consumate the marriage by having sex. RELIGION MADE MARRIAGE WHAT IT IS TODAY. The Bible also makes it clear that if marriage is not for you, you shouldn't do it and that is clear as day also. Sexual immorality happens in tons of marriages too.
Summary
the first lady got a man that was once incarcerated, addicted to gambling, was friend-zoned for the longest, only proposed because he didn't want to let her go so she called it off.
the second lady called off the wedding because her man asked the dad for permission, was prideful, love bombed her, and showed off his wealth too much so she called it off.
the third lady dated a wealthy doctor, but he cheats and condescending.
Thanks for this. 😊
But they’re all the prize 😂😂😂😂😂
Thx bc there was no way I was sitting through all 3 hrs of this.
@@tashboog5458 I don't blame you. I watched the 3 hrs. hoping for something out of the ordinary but was disappointed...3 hrs. is a long time.. trying to save folks the time.
lol thanks for this now I don’t need to watch. Also what is love bombing? I keep hearing that phrase
First red flag 🚩 Full steam ahead relationship right out of prison. It is easy to be disciplined while in prison. Talking that "prison babble"!
Second red flag 🚩 proposal in the midst of negative struggle in relationship!
Wow is all if we stick with the truths and be more intentional with our choices and bodies and the fact that children do better in healthy two parent homes
@@johnlane8229 "Healthy" is the key word!!! So many 2-parent homes are not! And kids know and feel more than adults think they know and feel. We were all kids at a point...
Yeah he definitely needed time to reacclimate to society before trying lead a family & therapy.
I can relate to every situation these ladies described. Such a great interview. It’s so good to hear honest stories.. makes you not feel so alone or beat yourself up when you know others have similar experiences. Also the wisdom they share is priceless. Especially if no one taught you how to date.. love this. These ladies are special.
I’ve been engaged four times, married twice & divorced twice, one passed away and the other i called off 😢and every thing all three of the ladies said I experienced some of not all of what they experienced one way or another with men throughout my lifetime. In my twenties it was most definitely societal pressures that made me say “yes” and “I do” … but like they said , and especially at 49 I personally don’t need a man laid up next to me to suck the life out of me And especially If he ain’t on the same page and frequency as me I’d really rather be in peace by myself.
Please don’t get married again. It is NOT for you. Live your life freely and focus on self. Good luck. 😌
That's why you have to inventory yourself. Renew the right spirit, line up with The Most High and He will bring you to your husband....and that man will be ready to be a good husband... We have to get out the matrix of this world because this world does not value marriage but money...and that's the apple of most people's eyes, money. The prize is a good one. If you dive into God, He will shine so bright on you!!!! She keeps talking about alignment, but alignment with who??? Money, a successful woman???? Thiscworld has built up the black woman so much that we don't value our black men and we set the standard based on the other face man that does not have the same obstacles or hurdles to cross... just think about it😢😢😢
I’m sorry you had to experience that
@@sg5720 yes that is exactly what I’m doing for the past 5 years and life’s been peaceful, I’ve healed, grown and cultivate wonderful relationships with like minded individuals.
Steven Jackson arranged the prenuptial agreement months in advance paid for separate lawyers so she was independently represented and she waited to the last minute in an attempt to use the under dearest defence to counter the prenuptial agreement also she insisted on a pastor who attempted to convince him that he didn't need a prenuptial agreement. She has also used the courts to harass him after the fact
It’s crazy how even accomplished & fine women buy into the whole “ with a high value man you can and can’t..” mindset. And the thing is it’s mostly about how much money he got and how busy he is. Rarely about his character. Just goes to show you women this beautiful this intelligent this driven be dating the same mindset as women who are none of those things. Only difference i see is these women eventually recognize the need to walk away and have resources to do so while other women put up with nonsense. Women collectively need to stop associating “value” with just money when it comes to men. This is the reason why a lot of men don’t work on character mental health or spirituality/ a relationship with God. These men think all they need is money and they can call shots and show up how they want because they see how much women feed into it.
Totally Agree with this point🙌🙌💪💪💯💯🙏🙏
SO TRUE!!!! Thank you for stating this obvious point that continues to go over MOST women's heads. CHARACTER is currency!!!
Yes this comment right here!!!!! You hit the nail on the head❤❤❤❤
That part! Beautifully said👊🏽
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Exactly what you said!
One key point i digested from these woman is they all gave in to societal pressure ! They all fed to their partner that they wanted marriage without fully vetting them for that position. Ive done this too. But they mentioned a KEY strategy to LET GO of the theory and observe the action. And ladies we must do the same for ourselves. Are we respecting our boundaries ? Our non negotiables? Our self love and mental health ? Our communication? Each person plays a role in a failed relationship. We must be just as accountable as the people we blame. ❤
So well said.
Amen
This is powerful! Thank you!
Shar here! I was so nervous that I don’t think I really answered the questions the way I really wanted to answer them. 🥴
Aside from that, thank you for allowing me on stage!! I have never spoken about my past relationship to anyone except my close friends and family, so this was a tough one for me, hence why I was nervous and missing a lot of information in my story, but it was much needed for me and my healing journey. I love you guys, I enjoy the channel soooo much, I’ve been watching you guys for the last year or so. I’m definitely going to be a fan for life. ❤❤❤
You did fine i really could relate
Thank you for sharing. You provided a lot of insight with your story.
Our stories had many similarities and I hope you come into your blessings and forever partner in divine timing.
Awe thanks ladies. Its nice to know that others can relate, and that we are not alone and there is support out there ❤❤
Thank you so much for sharing such a vulnerable, intimate part of your life with us. I’m sure that’s not easy but it’s courageous! Glad it was healing for you!! We’ve learned so much from your experience
Yup. That always happens to me too!! Whenever I get questioned about the past - I just suddenly cannot really articulate it and I forget to say so much so it doesn’t even make sense. And, I haven’t even watched the episode yet but I read the comment first and can already relate.
Anyone straight out of jail shouldn’t be getting married especially if they’ve been locked up for long periods of time. And why entertain it. I’m sure there was men out there. And it’s crazy we will have children and not want to marry the father. We are raised to be relationship minded.
That last part. We are conditioned to be relationship minded nowadays because that's what's been enacted before us from youth 💁🏿♀️😔
...and THAT'S what I questioned. WHY would she allow a man to father her children if she is not open to being his wife?
I'd like to see episodes on men breaking up with women, men being abused by women, and men dealing with heartbreak.
✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️
I would LOVE to hear from the men who were involved with these 3! That would be EYE-OPENING! 🧐
They should also do ones about pickme women 😊
Men have the stage of control for milenia
@erniechipdouglas9779 STOP! GROW UP! When a woman disagrees with other women in support of men, it does not equate to a "pick me." FOHWTBS!
It seems as though these days having children with someone is less of a commitment then it is getting married. How do you allow yourself to have children with someone but yet fine getting married to the wrong person is going too far?
Bingo! Because the priority goes towards the man's seed rather than marriage. Men have to value their seed and save it for their wife. Women always prioritize a baby before marriage.
Great show. Many black women don't trust black male podcasters, but this one was respectful and well done. I learned a lot.
I'm divorced in 2015, my ex husband and I dated for 3 yrs, lived today for 2 yrs, married for 2 yrs. There is something about 7 yrs. It was a real testing time for us both. We both had different gaols and vision. We were selfish. We were not committed to each other as we thought we were. Lord have mercy. For those who are planning to get married, please take as much as pre-marriage advice and guidance as possible. Surround yourself with long term. Married couples. Pray together and put God first. By grace, by truth and by faith. ❤
According to the descriptions on these shows, I'm a "high-value" man. I consider myself a man of ambition and purpose, and I immediately recognized my wife's potential when she connected with me on social media 15 years ago. At the time, I was 35 and she was 28. During our first date, I was struck by her beauty and the alignment of our values, particularly her femininity. While we've faced challenges, we've found common ground on crucial matters. I agree with Ari Nicole's view that there's a right way to approach relationships, as outlined in the Bible. My wife's choice of chastity and femininity means she'll be financially secure for life.
27:07 The act of getting married is easy but the older I get the more I realize marriage is serious/takes two extremely mature self aware people that like each other FULLY to endure the hard work required to thrive in a marriage. Alignment is not the end all be all… a “happy” marriage is more about working together/making two people work together long term moreso than just feeling happy all the time.
How do I get aligned for marriage if society and family does not prepare me well enough to be successful as a wife/partner in marriage?
Not enough UA-cam/podcast on that one!. My only reference is a high statistic of divorce or breakup within 2-3 years.
This was a very dope episode. Love all the beautiful ladies. I pray you get & have a very happy & fulfilling marriage & purpose partner. ❤❤❤❤
I feel like Sarah was doing and saying the most with her last comment. I agree with the person who warned to not continue to have children in iffy situations. We can control ourselves, use protection, be aware that any UNprotected sex can produce a child. This spoken from someone who was conceived in a crazy situation - smh Lastly, after my divorce, I was a single mother - in my opinion, children need both parents.
Yes, thank you ladies very much for all the knowledge that you have shared on this platform. Thank you Harley initiated. Thank you for sharing your platform with the world. I’m glad that whenever I watch the show…I walk away with something every time. God Bless
This conversation was needed, especially for men. Many men think that all women desire marriage do much that a proposal would never be turned down.
All I heard was about men in status so what's next
@@robertwilson6050 Not sure how this relates to my comment.
@@robertwilson6050 strange comment, but anyway
I think a lot of women have been sold fairytales, and this starts right from our childhood and Disney. I think a lot of women imagine the wedding day and not the marriage.
I can say this is very true for myself, because if I’m being honest, I’ve always desired the wedding and that’s purely because of what society has fed me. If I’m actually honest with myself, I don’t desire marriage at all.
@@loulousworld92 I don’t necessarily disagree but there are quite a few (myself included) who know better. And apparently the women on the panel did too, as they opted out.
I think men, too have been sold a fairytale-they can do whatever, drag their feet and have a bunch of desirable women waiting and eager for them whenever they decide to settle down and propose.
I’m glad you see the truth about your children’s father because if he was a sincere father nothing and I mean nothing couldn’t stop him from spending time with his children. He mad bc you don’t want him so he’s taking it out on his children. But, I will let him know that his children missing him and ask him to spend time with them.
That man KNOWS his children miss him. He simply doesn't care because he knows children have been brainwashed to forgive their mediocre and deadbeat parents.
I’m sorry ladies! I feel like we need to stress all of our options before divorces and calling off engagement! Her story about her children crying for their daddy hurt my soul!
We absolutely SHOULD however that doesn't mean tolerate bullshit and engaged is the final call to get out. Women should stress options on men they already married... Everything else is negotiable and a trial period
Obviously she was right if he disappeared on the children bc the relationship ended. That tells her everything she needed to know. It's better for her to have peace in her home than the illusion of a great family. Kids sense BS.
Agreed. Folks in Amerikkka give up to quick
Statistically, only 15-20% of people who get engaged, call off the wedding. That number should be higher. A phenomenal episode!
I’ve stayed in more than one relationship where I KNEW I didn’t want to be with the man forever. I was just wasting my time. “Practicing” Young and dumb. I would have accepted a ring but never planned a wedding. 1:21:07
Yes. It was my late twenties to late thirties with the same person 😢😂
Great chemistry through and through
Awesome episode, thank you H.I.
I want women to stop thinking they can change a man because they held him down while he was locked up. There’s no such thing. She could have been working on herself that whole time and finding a man she didn’t have to “fix” 🙈💆🏾♀️🙊
Yup and saved her womb a lot will wait years to have kids because he isn’t in order yet
Praying ALL these ladies HEAL
This the one! 😩
I 10000% relate to all of this.
H.I., thank you for creating the space to have this discussion. Ladies, thank you for having the courage to share your experiences.
Thank you Ladies for sharing your experiences.
I learned my lesson to SET boundaries & be discipline & respectful with them. I stayed for years believing the relationship will get better, in communicating, we grew more distant over time...I'm on my own at peace to restart a new journey in time...🙏🏾
I bet ya'll wont clip the part where one lady said "accidents happen", Women have more birth control options than MEN, and the other lady said "its ok to abort a baby" but claims to be an ordain pastor?? Lord have Mercy this was a train wreck on so many levels, this was HORRIBLE to have been said on YOUR PLATFORM. Its giving NO ACCOUNATBILITY on these women, they all have been strung along in long term situationships, their fault, nothing profound or prolific spoken
I also was side eyeing the lawyer when she said that 😂
Yup 💯 😂
It's definitely on BOTH people to use protection measures. And it's on both to be realistic about the relationship.
HOWEVER, in these relationships where y'all want the men to lead, there's absolutely wayyyy too much leeway given to them for barely doing the minimum.
I agree@@Heyu7her3
I don't think there is anything wrong being in support of woman who chooses a abortion. I believe her role is give woman SOUND advice and leadership, and show her the consequences , but if a woman still chooses abortion after that, it doesn't mean to abandon her. Those woman will still need support, council and leadership more than ever
Also it's God's will for people to wait and have sex until marriage..which means you should be waiting until marriage to have kids..of course people fall short of the glory and may not go that route and the kids are absolutely a blessing and never a mistake but God's will is to wait until marriage..that should be the goal and what I teach my children
It's the blueprint for a reason. Most reject it, though, and desire empathy for the consequences.
@@davidmilner8778 exactly!
Question, how far into the relationship do you go and you know this person isn’t for you? Why? And to have 3 proposals. I feel like no lessons were learned.
Yes. I was thinking the same like where’s the accountability😢
@@christieann1259they taking it by admitting they failed. Simple as that.
@@christieann1259 I initially thought this, but men switch up after milestones. You see her baby daddy abandoned their child after she broke up? Yeah.
The way they invited THREE lightskin women who literally look alike... it's giving Andrew Tate/Fresh & Fit 🙄
Ohh STOP IT. They have plenty of dark skin tone BW on their show. There is not one reason you dark skin BW should be jealous of them when you guys are 98% of the black community and dominate in EVERYTHING. Also, the lady in the black jacket is dark skin. She is sitting in a bright light. Her hands and neck have a dark skin tone. Also, these ladies wear makeup and have man troubles just like y'all.
When she said ATL n in prison that was 2 red flags right there 😂😂😂😂😂
Ari didn't say anything wrong. These ladies out the gate jumped on her because she was advocating for the right thing. Because the world is doing something doesn't make it right. You tell her she's entitled to her opinions but then tell her never say this or that. These women smh
Exactly my sentiment!
I felt that was interesting response especially as an Elder. I understand not wanting to place judgement. As a mother of 3. Who had 1 as teen mom, 2nd child with boyfriend who became my husband and had 3rd child. If I could have married and then had children why not but the issue fathers not being committed to God and committed fatherhood to relationship.
Agree. They were very offended but it was biblical, wise advice. Not wanting anyone’s toes to be stepped on.
Exactly! I made my statement before I saw yours. They got offended because they're uncomfortable with accountability.
yasssss I felt that in my spirit watching the whole time, chelsea brought peace and serenity to my soul, hearing her voice, she's getting wifed quickly. Im so glad she said that. this was a great episode! Shout out to Sarah boo holding it down too.
Why would she give him kids before he married her? What is wrong with the women now days?
I also wondered this too 👀 1 child before the proposal and then another child after she rejected him. That's why I say we have to always look at our role in the failure of a relationship as well
Now days ? Like women before weren't doing it lmfaooo ! Maybe having kids out of wedlock wasn't à big deal for her as long as they remain a family
@@kanika.s_peace for real though.
@@AngelaElikya ….. full circle moment. I’ll never understand this baby mother baby father culture….. it’s not cute. A man should prove his way into pro creating with you. Let’s just agree to disagree
@@AngelaElikya single until married. I have no interest in remaining a girlfriend forever. If this man was on his deathbed/ life support for a car accident or any other reason they wouldn’t recognize her wishes when they have to ask if they should pull the plug because why? Just a girlfriend. If he died the obituary will say long time friend because they were NOT married. I’ll NEVER give any man children if he cannot commit there’s no excuse. I can’t even leverage or file taxes together for family if I’m not married. So no.
You all have amazing topics. Keep grinding KINGS‼️
Omg!! This is my current situation 😢 I just called it off the hardest thing for me to do.. I’m literally heartbroken 💔 to have to tell my family.. smh
How did it go?
I'm a Woman who's never had the desire 2b married or have kids.
I left a relationship b/c he never made me a priority. Everything / Every1 was b4 me. He wasn't mean or anything. Just not 4 me.
Men do know within the first few months that they do want to marry you but they don’t ask that quickly usually!! Usually within the first year or two you get engaged and marry! And leadership and healthy timeframe
@sherrynelson365 I think they can be true sometimes, but I also think sometimes the desire develops over time after getting to really know the person.
Ohhh.. "whomever is most persistent, wins." That ain't nothing but the truth. Sheesh.. this is a good listen.
I have denied a marriage proposal. When I was 21 years old I accepted the proposal. Once I accepted his ring , I started seeing Narcissistic behaviors. He took me to his dad’s house for dinner. Dad shared some stories about this fiancé that confirmed tendencies I experienced before this dinner. On the way home, this man put me out of his car on the freeway- because I agreed with what his dad was saying about his tendencies.
“I’m emptying EVERY bullet out this clip” 💥💥💥💥
My ex husband told me when I separated from him, I should've cussed him out and made him be a better leader! 😮 smdh
When you love someone, you (make time) to send that hello text.
Bring these ladies back, thought proving conversation , so insightful and they were well articulated 🔥💥👍🏽
She was wrong from the beginning. Being friends with someone that let it be known thst he wants you while being in other relationships.
Yes. She played herself no accountability however we all supposed to learn from our trails and errors
@@christieann1259 trails? And she owned those as her mistakes when asked luv.
😂😂😂 I’m happy to have obliged you as well as my trial and error. ❤
Beautiful ladies! loved their stories and knowledge. Much love ❤️
I love Chelsea's energy, objectivity and vulnerability. I so identify with giving someone a chance to realize their potential and giving them me on credit so to speak and now kids are involved. God bless us. Praying your next chapter is your best. Evolved women deserve the happiness they seek. ❤
There definitely is a right and wrong way to do things. Truth hurts and these conversations need to be had. Women are in control of their womb, be careful with who you share it with. People doing it all the time doesn't make it acceptable. I've never understood creating a whole human that you'll be tied to for the rest of your lives as being a smaller thing than a commitment of marriage.
As an unmarried mom of 3, I agree. I had to sit with myself and hold myself accountable for not doing better when I knew better.
The sister said she was a Christian ordained Elder. Split hairs to save face
I wish there was some way to make women understand that nothing good happens to men in prison. It's trauma compounded by loss of freedom. That some men adjust a function with some relative normalcy after the experience, is the exception. The odds that a particular woman has found that exception is as good as lightning striking the same place twice. It happens more than we know, but we don't know where and when it happened
I am really the girl in black jacket my kids dad did the same I gave him 13yrs. He was a good dad so I thought but the breakup showed who he is. My kids are heartbroken all they know is us and now it’s just me and them. I feel for her because although I’m better with out it’s still hard and I still wish that things could have worked I wish he changed. I called off the wedding too he gave me a fake ass proposal 10yrs later. My story is deep.
You had a choice. The only victims here are the children.
Ryan is always talking about money, “prosperity,” finances, etc.
No depth at all. Just surface. 🙄
That’s where he’s most insecure. And he also obnoxiously mentions “cooking and cleaning” a lot. Like sir, don’t no woman want to be your damn slave🙄
Then he called Sarah's mom "Thirsty" and called a guy he does not know a narcissist😅
Every great man has a better woman behind him.. this saying is commonly accepted for a reason. A mans fire 🔥 needs a woman air to be great. If your man talks about fire but he doesn’t have fire all your air will do is allow him to float around.
Working together in a healthy relationship lifts both the women and the man.
Damn! what an analogy 👏🏽 💯
The jailhouse love story 😂😂
She should’ve knew better
Sarah is beautiful and seems to have such a heart. I love the way she speaks and watch how everyone listens to her "perform" while speaking. I especially like how she finishes her sentences instead of giving us pieces of points. Women next to her gives partial points that I want to hear the rest of. She's sweet but strong.
A lot of married females. Envy some…Of the single by-Choice ladies. ✅ This is what I learned over my lifetime, darling. 💯 You must love yourself, first. 💜Make sure GOD, is at the forefront, Periodtt. 🔥🥰
Good stuff people! Just got the cards last week! It's up!
6:22 rule number one! Ladies stop being “Best Friends” with men.
Hi there, can you please elaborate , inquiring mind curious thanks
As a Christian woman practically following Christ, I believe it’s not a possible thing to be best friends with a man. We can like them and call upon them for assistance with works that they can help us do. We can have wholesome gatherings inviting them and give advice when they want it but staying “best friends” sounds like something beyond a type of friendship I can have with a sister. Yes people grow in relationships and instead of a man whom you’ve been with a very long time to be convinced and hence open up to that you’re the one for him and profess it or maybe you’re not, he starts saying, “you’re my best friend”. What prompts that? He got some benefits of you. When the benefit stops or pauses, you’re bye bye 👋. Many times I’ve seen women falling in love with this guy and he calls it, “we are best friends” but her needs are not being met emotionally cos men are simple. What he calls you is what you truly are to him - you can’t change him except he reconsiders himself after life teaches him he truly needs your type of woman and that’s possible only when you set him off. If he is meeting your emotional needs it would mean sexually and that is not good in Gods eyes and this comment is not for you. So if a lady sees real love and is healed and settled herself, she will know but if she is only showing affection and he claims “friends” she will be tortured emotionally until they separate. If you call me your best friend and you cannot marry me, I’M out! You’ll notice it’s the men that say it first, “you’re my best friend”. A lady wouldn’t say that first. We are naturally wired to wait for them to profess their intentions towards us. So once a dysfunctional male says, “you’re my best friend” but he still can’t express that it is you he wants as a wife, my dear 🏃♀️ Don’t fall for, “you’re my best friend” talks. Best friends should not sleep without hearing from you. A Best friend should be ready to die for you lol but who in this world can be that person for another gender at that? So no point deceiving ourselves calling men our best friends. They are using us until they find a wife and that one becomes his best friend pro max 😂
I disagree. I was married for 23 years and I sure wished we could have been friends. Maybe we still would be together today.
🚩 red flag 🚩 for a man that will ask a woman or will accept a woman talking to her associates on his behalf for employment
Glad to see that one of the sisters (the second one) actually took accountability for her CHOOSING that man. No doubt all of those men sound like narcissicsts, however we know intuitively that these men are not the ones. They do bring the opportunity for that partner to see what she needs to work on within herself, because like energies attract...traumas feed off of each other. We all are here because we have inner work to do. Yes, the "pretty girls" need healing too! Not hearing anything about spirituality and God in any of this, so men inclined to have some kind of authentic relationship with the Lord (no matter the religious system), usually have a deeper integrity than the crowd. But as sisters, their character must also be higher in order to attract the type of man that they really want. The sooner you realize your error in choice, and get out, the better. Do not let it drag out. Truly, however, there are no mistakes, just life situations presented to us to learn and grow.
Do the women read the Bible. Wife and mother is what we were created for. To be a help meet for our husband. We are so out of order because of the endoctrination of this world.. Proverbs 31 Women. Why do we always put God in the mix when we are not following the instructions he provided for a happy life in marriage. Marriage to Yah! Married to each other and not the world. This is sad because the idea that we now have as independent women are continuing to destroy the structure of a family. The order 1 Corinthians 11:1-12 We were created for each other. And I would remissed to not mention the man needs to know his place too as the head. We are just a bunch of broken people "so out of line with each other!" She said it many times..
One of the women is an "ordained pastor" at New Birth church. She promoted abortion and single motherhood right on live broadcast. So, there's that. 🤷🏾♀️
A lot of us women have actually learned history, and know that women were the first humans on the earth. So the contradiction of being "created as a helpmate to men" will never work anymore. Women are whole and should have the autonomy to be whtvr they choose.
@@morena1484 women were the first reproductive humans. not that's it's pure fact, but even in the story, Adam couldn't reproduce until he was fixed & Eve arrived
Man & woman was given the same purpose. We were created to have relationship with one another & with the world:
Genesis 1:27-28 _So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth._
@@Heyu7her3Stop blaspheming, GOD, Christ, Man, Woman, Child. That is the order, men and women are not equal in authority.
I respect that for the most part they don’t make the man the bad guy in the breakup. They recognize it was a bad situation or bad timing or never was going to work. And yes there are always problems on both sides!
Choosing to be a single parent isn’t smart. It’s actually selfish and hurts the child(ren) in the long run. Kids need both parents, PERIOD! In the wise words of Chris Rock. You can drive a car with your feet that don’t make it a good idea.
Just because the parents are no longer together does not mean the child no longer has both parents. Holding on to an unhealthy relationship for the sake of the child is also selfish and hurts the child in the long run .
@@jas1565 DUH! But in this case (if you were actually paying attention) you would know they were clearly talking about a group of women “choosing” to be single mothers by choosing a sperm donor not a relationship that went bad.
@jas1565 It's not the.same....stop the cap.
All of their stories is literally what Princella was talking to them about 😅
I met my husband July 91 married May92 married 32 years
Very interesting women with interesting stories & views!👍🏿
I agree with the woman most with the short hair, there is no excuse for even the busiest man to send a text b4 his day to let you know you are important and he's mindful of you. My husband does it all the time and a Supervisor of a team of 23! And balances his life and home well which is why he is successful
We need the men’s side of these stories.
That Ted Talks...with Crisette...was everything
Interesting points made by the ladies on this joint💯👏🏾
I am 62 - marriage annulled at 26 and called off 2 engagements in my 30s. All because of infidelity and attracting 1 covert and 2 overt NARCASSISTS respectively. I learned throughout those years that God's plan for my life was to literally be a Woman of Issiah 54 way back then. Over the last 30 years I have dated but my end goal has never been marriage and children...not because of my past experiences but because of my profound love and protection of my inner peace and purpose - 2 things I refuse to compromise. While I welcome the company of a self assured true man - it's a desire but not a must in my life. Women whos life goal is more than husband and kids - even those married with child- if they don't have inner peace and purpose still mask some sense of unhappiness until they get to ultimate place.
I don't think these ladies see anything from a man perspective. No disrespect, but none of you have gotten into a better situation with you new found understanding
So when do they take responsibility for picking the wrong men?
Once respect is gone there’s nothing else to stand on straight up
REGULAR????? GIRL BYE! Please don't invite them back! I learned nothing here! WHO put this together? I want answers and their resignation!
1:41:02 as a person that had kids out of wedlock. I got pregnant when I was not on BC, not when I was on it.
These 3 ladies need their own podcast
News flash to all males....cooking and cleaning is N-O-T a freakin' hobby!!! @2:36:16
4 Horseman of relationship disintegration: Stonewalling Defensive Criticism Contempt
The last one should be Contempt
@@live.locd.love_ thank you 🙏🏿
This was amazing to watch. I just wish they would have included variety in the women they chose for this specific conversation so it could be a little more relatable. However this was a great episode!
Regarding the video of the man who called off the wedding, we don't know what was in that pre nup. He could have set her up real nice in the event of a divorce. Maybe she was being greedy and didn't want to sign. He gave her a warning. She didn't take heed. So does it really matter how he said it? She forced his hand and didn't get what she wanted.
I love this…. Very enlightening ❤️
Two of these ladies dated NARCISSISTS for sure and they did WELL to dodge those bullets .
🤣🤣🤣
Oh lawd! She is a pastor at NEW BIRTH!!! Enough said! Done!
Who
@@robertwilson6050 The attorney/ordained pastor/boss b****/therapist/couselor/sistergirl/entrepreneur...title happy ssa!
@@jzloveinfinite I'm not keen on the place, but you're listing her titles like she doesn't have the scholarly credentials
@jzloveinfinite I agree with u look like she needs the world in her hands shorty all over the place
Ooop that right there says it all about to cut this clip video off right there they ain’t been right since that incident happened thanks for the reminder who cares about your titles that won’t get you into the heavenly kingdom I’m out 👍🏾
You're the boss, boss ladies and bossmen. So you can pause whenever you want. Random texts will make your person smile and be the highlight of the day.
Men, we need to start having a high standard of these women. Sitting here listening to all of these stipulations these ladies have is insane.
Man man man..we're gonna need the tik tok shorts on this one !! Sarah was spitting them out !! and then some..
The way these women ridiculed the man for calling off a marriage at the altar and saying how he should have done it is wild. He deserves understanding and grace just as much as a woman that was "trying to make it work to the very end"... this is when women start being hypocrites and diminish our validity. This behavior in judgment discredits everything else they say. It's giving grandiose and codependency.
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
If they were co dependent wouldn't they be in relationships?
@nadirashabazz1033 just because someone is not in a relationship currently doesn't mean they stop being what they are...
@nadirashabazz1033 the indication is how they make themselves the good and rigteous person in the situation. This is a sign of being codepent but it's very twisted and many ppl cannot grasp it. The codependent person actually gets ego boost and feelings of worth and value from being rhe good person. Listen to the 1st girls whole story she makes herself the hero and the man the villain. She says she was forced into entrepreneurship to save her man. She was forced into being naggy etc.
This lady stayed all them years had kids and all that. She was not forced into anything. She chose to be there and be the "good" woman in an unhealthy and unstable situation. But when she tells the story she is so proud and grandiose cause she was the "better person" the hero that was taken advantage of... this is the untalked about part of codependency... cause if she didn't stay with that man she could not even have the contrast examples. She would not have been the hero to anyone. Some ppl depend on the other person being "no good" for them to announce how good they are.
@@nadirashabazz1033this woman stayed with someone for 5 years and had kids before the guy even proposed to her. So the real statement is if she was not codependent she would have left that person loooooong time ago.
❤❤ joined from Houston, Tx
The fact that you asked, why would he marry her anyway as a very good point, but to answer that he was still thinking on marrying her just like you guys stated that you had a pass and you were still doing things that didn’t make sense because you wanted what you wanted itin that moment of time. In my interpretation, I believe that the prenup was just the icing on a cake for the red flag. He had already seen before so that just sealed the deal. ❤❤❤
I will continue to tell everyone to take that man/woman to God (Jesus to be exact). They look like a great person but Lord is this who You have for me???
You really have to listen to the video in this totality, because he was passionate about what he was saying is because to be honest, he shouldn’t have been marrying her in the first place, because according to him, she had already made him feel like she would not take her his mom if something were to happen to him. that was something that was important to him so at that point of her, not wanting to sign a prenup, he know in his mind that was a red flag. he should’ve called it off anyway . her not signing a prenup was just another red flag that made him say no
Reading the chat replay, whew! SOME folks in there are so critical of just about everything these women are saying! Gee wiz! 😞
I have refused to succumb to any stupid pressure. Trust me. Never!👎 . Am growing into an old maid and it’s ok……😎