5 Stages of Grief and the Grieving Process
Вставка
- Опубліковано 22 сер 2024
- Counselor Carl (serenityonlinet...) characterizes the Five Stages of Grief as a natural process that allows us to gradually work through the pain of loss. He describes the stages as overlapping and recycling, rather than linear and distinct, while still moving us closer to feeling the full impact of the loss. He denies the existence of closure but suggests that finding acceptance will allow us to return to life in the new normal. Counselor Carl's straight-forward teaching style makes complex concepts easy to understand. Counselor Carl is a licensed, professional counselor with 19 years of clinical experience both online and face-to-face.
My mother passed away and I am glad that I'm at the best stage, acceptance, after about a year I am only 12, if I can do it than you can do it too
Sorry, Caroline. I didn't see your comment until just now. Thank you for being so encouraging to others. I am sorry for the loss of your mother. Best wishes!
Caroline Day if u need some one to talk to I’m here feel free to email me. I see u as so brave that I wish I could be
I wish I could have helped you! I just saw your comment, and it’s 3 years old. God bless you! I hope you’re doing well. 💕
Fair play kid your words just made me stronger
I hope you are doing well and continue to do so in the coming years. Each day is truly a gift and we all can learn from you on your own journey.
It's been 2 months since my mom and my best friend died. I'm a signal parent to two daughters and a new miracle baby boy. My husband walked out of our life for 3 months now. I'm going crazy..im hurting too much. My heart feels heavy like I'm having a heart attack. I am still mad. I'm pissed. Im never gonna forget the past. She is my mother.
Ginger Daye May God bless your soul!
I lost my wife of 26 years Nov 9, 2020 due to heart failure. Though I've been through loss such as the death of my father, loosing a spouse this way must top the stress chart. I realize I must go through the stages of grief but it's so very difficult when dealing with organizing a funeral, contacting my wife's friends, suddenly being alone in a home without her and the sudden financial burden thrust upon me finds me overwhelmed. Perhaps after all the funeral services are done the healing begins. As an introvert I process internally and keep to myself. In the era of covid it seems most are doing the same. But yes, grieving is difficult and it sucks big time!
I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved wife. I am an introvert too, but it is really important that you reach out to your healthy supports and/or build a healthy support system. Hospice offers grief groups in many communities, which may be online as because of the pandemic. There are also other online grief groups. You lost your wife and best friend. You do not want to grieve in isolation. I wish you the best!
@@Serenityonlinetherapy Thank you so much for your kind words and support!
@@sand0077 You're welcome!
Thank you so much for the soothing video. Today is my birthday, and my mother died yesterday. She was an alcoholic my whole life and our relationship was distant. The grief is more intense than I ever could’ve imagined. I thought I would not cry because she was so abusive and horrible to me and my brother and everybody in this life.
You're welcome! I'm sorry for the loss of your mother. Complicated relationships like you had with your mother can require many losses to grieve with her passing.
I feel lonely, i keep crying every day
me too
That is normal...just don't let the depression take you down into the dark. When my parents died back to back...I went down deep but slowly crawled out.
me too
3 years later and I see these comments. Hope things got better!
😢
Very interesting video. I'm here because I'm angry. My mother died almost a year ago because of pancreatic cancer and I've finally accepted I need to talk to someone and am starting counselling next week. I just moments ago took my anger out on my TV and broke the screen. My blood is still boiling. I just know that know that my grief is the main reason for my anger.
I’ve lost about six people within the last year a good friend about two weeks ago making him the sixth. So grief for me has been quite difficult and sometimes the sadness, numbness, emptiness, feels like it’ll never end.😥💔🥀 Thanks Mr. Carl for this video, “Everyone Grieves Differently” it’s very true.😭 Sometimes the pains hits so deep because those who’ve gone you want so badly to return...😢
I'm so sorry for your losses. I'm glad you found my video helpful.
My heart aches. I feel like it has been torn from my chest and ripped to shred. My soul is empty. You have given me kindness with this videa. Thank you.
Kelly Collins Hi Kelly, I am so sorry for your loss.
My heartfelt sympathy too you...In spite of an ability to continue living I don't think my grief will ever truly end.
I am so sorry for your loss Kelly. I lost my 26 yo son 2 mos ago in a horrible MVA. My heart is broken into pieces. I know how you feel!
Just knowing that in your grief, you are not alone at night. we who cry hear the whispers in the wind.
I lost my 13 year old son. I dedicated my you tube channel to him to talk about loss and love
ua-cam.com/video/nm3k3Q60STU/v-deo.html
I just lost my wife a month ago due to kidney and bone cancer. I have always thought myself as a strong person but my grief is so overwhelming that I cry everyday. I was married to a wonderful spouse for over 45 years and now it seems like the world around me does not exist. I have lost interest in all my home projects and am lost. Fortunately I am retired, otherwise I would not have been able to concentrate at work. I just hope that acceptance comes quickly so I can move on. My two adult kids(in their 40's) are not married so our family bloodline will end with all our eventual deaths. I just hope to keep going for them, but they themselves are grieving for their mother, as she spoiled them terribly. Thank you for the very instructive video.
Hi, Gilbert. I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved wife. Please view this video if you have not already: ua-cam.com/video/AQZibL5P0Dg/v-deo.html
Gilbert Jaramillo I know the feeling personally too of overwhelming grief, having gone through my own fair unfortunate share of loss of loved ones including my dad.💔😢💔 My sincerest condolences to you and your children during this really sad time. 😔
@@michaeld.williamsiii9026 Thank you for your kind words.
Thank you so much for the video. My best friend lost his girlfriend earlier this year. I’ve been checking on him and he’s still not feeling well ( like random panic attacks, skipping work, and crying himself to sleep.) I’m not giving up on him and doing the best as I can to be there for him. Please keep him your prayers. 😢😢😢😢😢😢
I will!
Your a true frirnd.
My girlfriend of 14 years passed away just over a month ago, at the age of 38. I've watched dozens of videos about grief, but this is the best one I've found to understand the different stages of grief. I cry a lot, I feel like I'm past the guilt, but I've noticed I mainly cry for the things she won't do anymore, and not so much about the loss itself. It's even hard for me to remember some of our daily moments vividly (a hug, a kiss…). I'm afraid this will all "explode" at some point and I will feel all the pain at once…
I am so sorry for the loss of your girlfriend.
Brilliant. The best explanation I have ever heard regarding grief. It is spot on. Hopefully one day I will reach acceptance
Hi, Stacy. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm glad you found some comfort in my video.
My ex forced me to sell my house 9 years ago and moved all my money to his business, he made me and our son homeless. All this years I was in denial ... and now I understand, I need to go through all stages. I will try my best. don’t know where to start. Thanks for the video
You're welcome! I wish you the best.
I know that had to be so hard to deal with! This is a story that happened to my best friend's family. I am trying to share it with everyone I can because they know where true comfort, peace & hope is found. God bless you!
Family Story
Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day.
My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening.
That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of
a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are.
Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you.
His Story
Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God.
“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23)
“Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12)
He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell.
“For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price]
“But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8)
Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today!
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him.
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b)
Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour!
“And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28)
Your Story
What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son.
The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven.
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)
We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready?
“...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b)
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c)
******************************
This testimony has been made into a tract form as well, so if you or your church are interested in having them to pass out, please go to libertyfaith.net and you will find the contact info there. God bless!
Tribute to Ethan Lakey
ua-cam.com/video/EhobcQZ6Qb8/v-deo.html
I lost my husband and my father within five months this year. Its rough!! Hardest year of my life. I'm 52 and still have my whole life ahead of me. I'm going through the hardest. Anger, bargaining and depression
I'm living in hotels now, no way to live. Self destructive, still working on that. I know I will reach acceptance some day, but, damn, it hurts like hell
I'm so sorry I know how it feels to be lonely without the person you loved, we've all lost our love ones in death one way or the other, either a spouse, child, family members, or a true friend that meant the world to us, such is life I understand how you feel but life goes on because death is inevitable and we'll all have to face it someday, I lost my wife 3yrs ago to a cardiovascular disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, but that's the past now, time is indeed the best healer.
I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! it'd be nice if you just say hi, here is my number +17866678266 or rather you can send me your gmail address so I could reach out on you.
I'm so sorry
I'm so glad to hear that there's no such thing as closure to grief
Grieving does lead to healing, but "closure" is the wrong word. There is no closing the door on the loss of a beloved loved one, nor would I want it.
My father passed from cancer three weeks ago.. The first few of these sounds just me and what i am going through. Thank you for your video.
Thanks so much!! 4.5 years after my mother died, I am "accepting" what will never be what it was before. I am learning that going through more and more grief to keep my mother "alive' is not worth it anymore and I must do what i can for the future. I am learning she would not want me to be broken by this so long. Thanks!!
Tim Hughes You're welcome, Tom. I wish you the best!
I am sorry for your loss
@@Serenityonlinetherapy my father committed suicide 4 years ago we had a bad relationship all of are lifes I'm 43 I was 39 then, it was very extreme the way I found him and no one really knew it was smoke smoldering and burnt and it still comes and goes, I do my best to let it go, but it comes and goes..
@@heartbasedresearchtoajourn8158 Hi, Ciaran. You experienced a complicated, traumatic loss. My suggestion would be, if you haven't already, to seek the help of a grief counselor to navigate such difficult waters. I wish you the best.
@@Serenityonlinetherapy thanks for the reply I understand what your saying. I suppose acceptance of anything is really to use what happened to grow as a person..
This is a well organised lecture that deals with common stages in Grieving, thereby ordinary folks like me get the basics right. I appreciate the author.🎉
Thank you!😊
Thank you! I'm glad you found the video helpful.
having just lost my brother my dad and my dog within a month, i cant make sense of the world right now i feel lost alone and the hurt im feeling is so intense. at leastcounselor carl has helped a little
Hi, Debbie. I am so sorry for your losses. Find supports. Try not to grieve in isolation.
debbie mallaby get support and counseling
After 2 years now, how do you feel...debbie?
One of if not THE best Videos on griefs. I lost my mom to cancer 3 years ago and navigating the process has been daunting . I am finally on step 2 as step one I was stuck on unable to find a way out. Thank you for this video as I do see the proverbial light
Hi, Stacy. I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. I'm glad you found my video helpful.
ive been having a really hard time since my husband left me and i had to move into a small room in another town. thank you for this video. it's been helpful to me. i think i'm finally processing things in a way i was not letting myself before.
I'm glad you found my video helpful. Best wishes!
This is one of the best explanation of the process of grief! Thank you so much for posting. You have truly made a difference!
Thank you, Annie!
I lost my Wife of many years unexpectedly to heart failure.
We were so very close. She was my partner we did everything together.
Her death deprived me of what I live for. It has been so hard to go on.
One of the things that has helped me is to look at photos of her happy.
That showed me that when she was here she was happy, she had a good life.
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved wife. Grieving such a traumatic loss is a journey from darkness into the light, which takes time and work. Now you can only focus on her loss, but in time you will be able to appreciate her entire life and your many years together. It is best not to grieve alone. Try to find a grief support group for spouses who have lost spouses.
I came upon this video because I am starting an informal counseling, as an intern, for a group of individuals who have loved ones with terminal illnesses. It was a great video but the viewers who have left a comment are even greater. I wish, even after months or years, that today everyone is doing great and that all of you have overcome grief and are in good spirits. Caroline, you are 15 by now, I am sorry that you went through your loss at an early age. Take care everyone.
Hi Olga, thank you for your caring words for all those suffering losses. You will be a great intern!
its been 8 months now since my dad died, which was only 4 months after his cancer diagnosis and I was sure he'd live longer - to see his birthday in august and possibly see christmas. I thought I had come to an accepting point but I've suddenly started to feel as bad as the start again. I appreciate what you do Counselor Carl and hope to hear back from you sometime when possible
Hi, Matthew. I am sorry for the loss of your father. There are dates and holidays that help measure how far we've come in the grieving process. Generally, the first Christmas, birthday, or other important date is the most difficult. We may think we are back to start, but we are not. That is just how grieving is. It comes in waves at expected and unexpected times. Best wishes!
they were before my time but an uncle and grandmother (my dads brother and mother) died in their 40s and i have a sister who is in her 40s now so she could die in theory as family history supports that
I loss my boy a few days ago. Grief and despair are two merciless monsters that devour ppl into a shell of themselves. You're consumed with fear and you don't even know how to find the courage to live again. I hate it here.
I am so sorry for the tragic loss of your boy. I know it seems possible now, but learning about grief and using your supports and finding new ones will help you find your way back to life.
This is a story that happened to my best friend's family. I am trying to share it with everyone I can because they know where true comfort, peace & hope is found. God bless you!
Family Story
Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day.
My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening.
That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of
a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are.
Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you.
His Story
Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God.
“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23)
“Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12)
He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell.
“For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price]
“But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8)
Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today!
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him.
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b)
Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour!
“And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28)
Your Story
What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son.
The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven.
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)
We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready?
“...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b)
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c)
******************************
This testimony has been made into a tract form as well, so if you or your church are interested in having them to pass out, please go to libertyfaith.net and you will find the contact info there. God bless!
Tribute to Ethan Lakey
ua-cam.com/video/EhobcQZ6Qb8/v-deo.html
this is so true I lost my mother at 17 to suicide and my partner of 8 years at 28 its been 3 years since my partner past and I'm still leaning to live with out him hes my soul mate. losing my mother was hard but my partner words cant exsplane how I feel still now theres no pain like wat I feel for my partner
I'm sorry for your losses. Each loss must be grieved in order to find your way back to life. Best wishes on your journey!
thank you
+emmalou212 You're welcome!
Beautifully done. No nonsense.. straight to the point .
Thank you!
I went through shock of my mother's passing for decades. After major personal struggles I had a breakdown in 2006 and the grief hit me hard. My sister passed from cancer about two weeks ago and I don't think I went through a shock phase. I suffered with her as she declined from a smart and healthy loving sister that I felt secure to frail and in hospice care she faded. I never go a day without crying. When I found out about her going to hospice if treatments didn't work, that is when my grief started. I am getting therapy and have to stay medicate. One tiny bit of strength is a message she sent to me via another family member writing. "Be strong." I did not get that message until the day after she passed. I am weak.. toggling in between grief and how do I find a purpose to keep going without her. I tell her to wait for me and light candles. I know she isn't suffering but a part of me feels like she left me and others who needed and depended on her. My heart is broken over that my own dad felt secure with her, now he grieves. My heart breaks deeply for him. This is all still fresh. Videos did explain some things that made me understand better how I broke down so horribly after decades of my mother's passing. Now I am searching in a dark room for relief from my sister's passing.
I am so sorry for your losses. I am glad you are getting help and using your supports. Learning how to grieve can take you out of the darkness and back to life. I wish you the best.
My beautiful one an only Grandchild Caoilte 5years old coming 6 passed away at Christmas i have never known pain like it. Im broken beyond broken an she was a only child... I cry everyday don't want to get out of bed an cant wait to get into bed at night... I know its 16 weeks but it seems like years even my health has deteriorated... I just trust in God that i get through this nightmare 😭😭😭💔
Hi, Noreen. I am so sorry for the tragic loss of your precious grandchild. I lost my own daughter when she was 21 years old, and I soon realized that grieving such a loss with something I should not attempt alone. It is just too much for one person to deal with. So, I found a grief counselor and joined a grief support group for parents who had lost children. These supports became my lifelines to finding the way out of the darkness back into the light again. So, I encourage to seek help for your grief. Best wishes!
@@Serenityonlinetherapy thanks so much for your kindness in responding to my cry for help im trying my best to a Christian Counselor... Im in a bad way please pray that God finds me a good Counselor cause they are hard to come by here in Ireland... 💔💔💔
@@caoilte2013 I will, Noreen, I will!
Thank you! My Mother died two months ago and I felt totally identified with your video!
Hi, Victoria. I'm sorry for the loss of your mother. I'm glad you found my video helpful. I wish you the best!
Thank you for the video..i miss my Dad and he passed 4 months ago..
Hi, Dianna. I am so sorry for the loss of your Dad.
Mine passed two years ago. Husband, almost a month ago.
Visualised very well in a crisp and empathetic manner.
I am only 13 years old and my therapist recommended this video to me. About two years ago my cat died and that has leaded to severe clinical depression for me. I've had this cat all my life, he's been with my mom since she was 15. I am now a suicidal teenager who just hates life. My therapist so recommend anti depressants but we have not yet started my daily dose. Thank you for making this video BC this has helped me understand this forever sadness that I can never change. I will never see my cat again and that thought kills me. Bye Ig.
Hi, Haley, I am glad you are getting help for your grief and depression. Best wishes!
Counselor Carl thank you :)
My wife died a year ago, the anniversary of it was on the 4th of April. We were only married for three years. Both of us were widowed already, I had been married for 35 years and she had been married about 40 years, to our firsts. But she had cancer and she died. I believe a lot of it had to do with stress, the stress of being married to me. I can't shake it. I am just as depressed as I was a year ago. Right now I am at a stage of anger, and it is true that we do go around and around with these five stages of grief.
eugene bell. Feeling guilty when someone close to us dies is common. We think we could have done something more or somehow done better, but usually it was simply beyond our control. I am sorry for the loss of your wife.
New normal! You said it first. That makes me feel better.
This is gold thank you
You're welcome! Best wishes!
You are very soothing and clear. Thank you.
You're welcome, Jan! I'm glad you found my video helpful. Best wishes!
Thankyou Carl for showing us the stages, i think by knowing these we can go someway at least to understanding why we feel the way we do, after a loss.
BenGunns Exactly! That was my intention - to try to make sense of something that seems to make no sense.
I lost my 13 year old son. I dedicated my you tube channel to him to talk about loss and love
ua-cam.com/video/nm3k3Q60STU/v-deo.html
your video really helped me to understand the greaving process. my beloved mother passed away March 11th,2018. and it's been very difficult. right when i think I'm gonna be alright i bust out crying. I've been praying and that has really helped alot.
Hi, Jenny. I'm sorry for the loss of your beloved mother. I'm glad my video was helpful.
Thank you very much Carl
I appreciate all that you shared here
You're welcome, Deborah! I wish you the best.
Thank you Carl, this was a very helpful video.
2 years ago I've been diagnosed with a rare health condition. At the same time I found that I had a health issue that can limit my life expectancy and quality, and that I wouldn't have children. Not that it's not possible to have kids, just that it's too dangerous and the doctors advised against it. I've experienced several emotions throughout these 2 years.
I think I'm in a grief process, of what I always imagined my life would be - full of energy and with kids. Not sure if this is grief or not, but it feels like it...
Hi, Ligia. I am so sorry for health problems. And, yes, you are exactly right: you are experiencing many losses, as you mentioned, and grieving is the process we go through to emotionally accept any loss. So, all my videos on grief are relevant to the kinds of losses you are dealing with. I wish you the best!
My friend committed suicide on Friday. We have been friends for 24 years. I have dealt with several of these stages already. I only found out a little over 24 hours ago but it's almost all i think about. And now so much guilt for not doing more for her. She was always a good friend to me and did so much for me and i wasn't there when she asked me for help. Not necessarily emotionally but just asking for help with her kids, childcare and stuff like that. Please pray for her family, her husband, and the 4 kids she left behind. I never thought i would lose my friend so young and now i can never change it. She is gone forever. RIP Marlena. I am so sorry 😭😭😭
I am so sorry for your tragic loss. When someone dies unexpectedly, guilt is often one of the feelings that must be worked through, and 99% of the time the guilt was unfounded. And when the death was by suicide, it is even harder to let go of the guilt even though 99% of the time we have to come e to accept that it was just something beyond our control.
@@Serenityonlinetherapy thanks for responding. Just saw this now. The thing is, my friend had a master's degree in psychology so i believe she was very aware of the damage this would do to her family. How could she do that to them??!! It's one of the most traumatizing things you can do to your kids/spouse/people who love you. Part of your job as a parent is to protect your kids. It's not that i don't understand her feelings because I have been there myself. I have been suicidal. Not for over a decade, thank God. The ONLY thing that stopped me was knowing how damaging it would be to my children and how likely it makes them take their own life one day. I'm sure God had a part in keeping it from happening too. I know for sure my kids were a huge reason not to. I wanted to die so bad and end my suffering (emotional) but i just couldn't do that to my children! I am so glad i didn't now. It's hard to describe that depth of suffering that you think only death can take away. Although now i know It's not true. Your suffering will not end and it will cause so much grief for others. It's such a devastating thing to do to those who love you. She was such an amazing person and helped so many people. It is so confusing and sometimes i am angry at her. I have a hard time feeling any sympathy i think because im so mad at her for hurting everyone. She decided to not just end her pain but spread her pain to everyone else. I pray for her kids all the time that they don't follow her. Her father committed suicide when she was somewhere around 6. Her youngest is around 12 or 13 and her oldest is 24. I feel so many different things about this.
@@notebookluvr When someone close to you commits suicide, it is natural to feel angry at the person. However, persons who commit suicide are usually not trying to hurt others. Rather, they are trying to end overwhelming pain and, tragically, see no other way out of it.
@@Serenityonlinetherapy yes, i understand that is what they believe are trying to do. As i stated, i have felt those feelings myself. But i could clearly see the selfishness in it. It was MY suffering that i wanted to end. Ending my suffering at the cost of passing it on to others. People i loved and never wanted to hurt. I wouldn't even say my friend was a selfish person at all, until she made this decision. She was pretty much the opposite. Always fighting for others and helping them. It was then, and is now, obvious to me, that they really are thinking mostly of themselves when they make this choice. Their needs to end their misery comes above the needs of everyone else. But whether or not they think they are not trying to hurt anyone, they are so focused on their pain that they can't see the needs of anyone else or they don't matter enough in that moment. I've heard and read articles about it not being selfish, but if you're so focused on only what you need and don't care enough about what it will do to anyone else and the devastation you will be leaving behind, there is nothing more selfish! If i never had these feelings before, (devastating emotional pain making me want to commit suicide) i might be able to see another side. But since i have been there myself, I understand it pretty well. I just don't understand how she thought it was best and decide to traumatize her loved ones that way. She had a master's in psychology. She knew. I don't discount her pain, but she had a choice. She chose herself.
@@notebookluvr I understand your point of view.
I really enjoyed this short video and how "normal" it is to feel sad when we are experiencing change that we have no control over.
I'm glad you found my video helpful. Best wishes!
Amen x
This is so comforting and gentle for me, no judgement, no timelines.
I have just lost my partner of 20 years very quickly to Lymphoma, he passed away within a month of his symptoms. I'm finding the things people say to you at these times is unbelievable. There's a huge lack of understanding about death and loss, I know people don't know what to say and there's so much fear around the subject but it's made me very wary of people, you realise they are looking at you to see how your handling it rather than being present with you with empathy and compassion, if you appear alright that's good if your not they run.
I come here to find understanding and support, it's a lifeline at the moment. Thank you 🙏❤️🙏
I am so sorry for the tragic loss of your partner. And, yes, you are describing a common situation where those who you might think would be your natural supports in the face of such a tragedy have no clue what to do and end up saying things that are hurtful without realizing it. However, what sometimes happens as well is that people you least expected to be a support step forward because they have been through the trauma of loss, and they do get it. They know how to listen and be a witness to your pain.
I had a friend who drank and drove one night and it took 2 people in the car and also the truck driver at the end of my senior year. It was so heart breaking to hear this, but it serves an important for every one. I have healed pretty well.
+Colton Kelsey Healing and growth is possibly through grieving. I am sorry for your losses.
I just lost my beloved mother unexpectedly on October 6 2022 and I'm heartbroken 😭💔. I'm praying to God for strength, healing, and resignation soon 🙏🏻✝️🕊️😪
For the fourth month, I fell numb and did not allowed myself to grief and its been six months and living by myself in social isolation it's tough and find my depression got worse and am crying every day
Hi, Mariela. I am sorry for your loss. These are difficult times with social distancing, but you should reach out for support via the internet or phone. Here is a link to finding an online grief support group. dying.lovetoknow.com/Online_Grief_Support_Group
Thank you for this message as I continue to live out my grieving journey of my partner.
You're welcome, Michelle.
I have lost my father at the age of 16, hearing these words have helped me through a patch of pain I have felt. My mother hung up some photos of me and my father and it hurt me so.. Thank you for this video.
Hi, Sophie. You are very welcome. Best wishes!
Thank you Carl. Wonderful video.
Lozzness Thank you for your kind words!
Lozzness
Grieving child on loss of dog
i lost my nephew one and half months before. he was only 33. after that my life is totaly changed and i m always searching about reincernations , life after death etc.i lost all my good practices .now i want to leave this earth
I am sorry for your loss. It is common to feel like you you want to join a departed loved one, but if you have urges to act on those thoughts, please tell someone now - your doctor, pastor, a therapist, a good friend, your spouse. A tragic loss can make you feel hopeless and lost. But you are not. Trust the grieving process. Get help!
Thank you so much for posting this. I really needed this
You're welcome! Best wishes!
Thanks Carl. One thing I would say is that bargaining comes after depression for me. I couldn't bargain without hope and so it's hope that pulls me through depression and into bargaining.
Also, I would start with attachment that brings on fear of loss that causes denial.
Thanks Counselor Carl.💙💫✨
You're welcome!
You were very helpful to me Carl. Thanks for uploading this good and helpful video.
You're welcome, Joe! Best wishes!
Great job explaining. Thank you for this.
Thank you! Best wishes to you.
We have 3 losses in our family this year. One was old age, one was sickness but the passing of my youngest sister is the hardest one to accept..She was beaten, strangled and stab on the head and neck more than 10 times... I really hope I can find something to help us all..
Hi, Kai. I am so sorry for your losses, including the traumatic and tragic death of your youngest sister. I hope my videos offer some guidance and understanding as you grieve.
Kai heartbreaking 😭
This is brilliant, i just got to keep moving forward, though after 5 weeks she's been gone tommorow i still feel like death warmed up. Hollow, horrid feeeling in the pit of my stomach, harsher anxiety etc.
Alexander Eley Trust the process of grieving, use your supports, and take care of yourself.
Thank you Sir for this video. I have recently lost both of my parents to covid-19. Two months ago.
They passed away 20 hrs apart from each other. Its been the hardest 2 months of my life and everything I am going through before your video was making no sense to me.
At least now i have some understanding
Thank you again
Hi, Heriberto. I am so sorry for the tragic loss or your parents. I am glad you found some support in my video. I wish you the best!
@@Serenityonlinetherapy thank you very much
@@heribertocandelaria2140 You're welcome,
My best friend ended his life this week. This video is extremely helpful to me. Thank you for posting it.
Hi, Ernest, I'm so sorry for the tragic loss of your best friend. I'm glad you found some support in my video. I wish you the best in these difficult times.
This is a story that happened to my best friend's family. I am trying to share it with everyone I can because they know where true comfort, peace & hope is found. God bless you!
Family Story
Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day.
My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening.
That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of
a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are.
Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you.
His Story
Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God.
“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23)
“Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12)
He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell.
“For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price]
“But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8)
Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today!
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him.
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b)
Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour!
“And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28)
Your Story
What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son.
The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven.
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)
We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready?
“...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b)
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c)
******************************
This testimony has been made into a tract form as well, so if you or your church are interested in having them to pass out, please go to libertyfaith.net and you will find the contact info there. God bless!
Tribute to Ethan Lakey
ua-cam.com/video/EhobcQZ6Qb8/v-deo.html
What a eye opener for years I've bottled everything up never got help even to this day I still struggle it effects my relationship with my new partner of 8yrs as I'm still not wanting to go thru it again I was 23 when my partner of 6yrs died on the morning our son 3rd birthday without saying happy birthday
Hi, Gee. I am sorry for the tragic loss of your boyfriend when you were 23. I'm glad you found my video helpful. Hopefully, it can give you some direction for facilitating your grieving and healing. Best wishes!
I was in the denial stage for 7 years and now I am so sad and I cry at least 3 times a day now.
Dannielyn Tier. Self - care and allowing yourself to grieve without repressing it or obsessing on it can lead to healing as you go through the grief stages. Best wishes!
Counselor Carl thank you.
Dannielyn Tier. You're welcome!
I hope you are doing well. I am so so sorry for your loss!
Thank you so much for these videos. They are helping me a lot.
My mom would be proud.
You're welcome!
Hello everyone I lost my Dearest elder sister and her husband to covid 2 weeks ago. It was unbearable but found comfort in Holy Bible Mathews Chapter 5 verse 4 "BLESSED are those who MOURN, for they shall be COMFORTED" Amen, it's been good after that. Thank u JESUS for your comfort
This is a story that happened to my best friend's family. I am trying to share it with everyone I can because they know where true comfort, peace & hope is found. God bless you!
Family Story
Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day.
My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening.
That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of
a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are.
Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you.
His Story
Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God.
“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23)
“Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12)
He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell.
“For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price]
“But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8)
Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today!
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him.
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b)
Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour!
“And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28)
Your Story
What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son.
The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven.
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)
We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready?
“...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b)
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c)
******************************
This testimony has been made into a tract form as well, so if you or your church are interested in having them to pass out, please go to libertyfaith.net and you will find the contact info there. God bless!
Tribute to Ethan Lakey
ua-cam.com/video/EhobcQZ6Qb8/v-deo.html
My grandma passed away 2 weeks ago, she meant the world to me! I never thought this could happen to me, she was ok, and then she got sick and in less than one week she died. I've never experienced a situation like this before, such a horrible situation!
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved grandmother.
Gaby Vale of old age?
For some reason I saw this after my life being changed after the 1day of September. I thought for a while I was ok, but a heavy weight is falling. Serenity prayer 🙏 life changes
Yes God helps to heal 🌻🌿🗻⛅️😇✨💫
So if we really weren't close or have much interaction with the deceased family member prior to the death, how does that affect the process. Most of the time my dad acted like he didn't give a damn about anyone or anything including myself. We never really connected. Now he is dead and I really am just at peace with that. Is that normal?
Thank you
You're welcome!
Yes thanks Carl, i forget the simple things bout the holiday etc. Laughing and wanting to cry at eh same time, very ambivalent that was., it was nice to know that I aint co-dependant either despite childhood traumas. I've outgrown most of those things through my faith and AA 12 steps. Though i do believe every human has the smallest degree of co-dependance in em.
I am happy to hear that you are growing and healing.
God bless you all
my best friend that I went to high school and her name is Julie welch and she is the best friend that I had and even I do miss her so much because she had the best friend that I also had fun with her. so this is my story about my best friend even now that she was in the hospital last Wednesday and of course that she had cancer in her lungs and even she couldn't breathe anymore that is very hard, the 5 stages of grief and the greving process is very important so I can be more happy even I can let go for sure my pain that is very hard but this video is the best one ever. I just want to have my life back on track
Thank you so much Counselor Carl, guess I'm still in Undoing stage at the moment
You're welcome.
Sharing with others to help them understand grief. Thanks.
You're welcome, Athea!
Julie welch is not here anymore but she will be with me and her spirit is here in my heart for sure I miss her so much
Hi Carl,
I hope you can answer my question regarding suffering. In Dr. Karen Horney's book, "Neurosis and Human Growth- the struggle Towards Self Realization" she said this
_“Only when the pride system is considerably undermined does he begin to feel true suffering. Only then can he feel sympathy for this suffering self of his, a sympathy that can move him to do something constructive for himself. The self-pity he felt before was rather a maudlin writhing of the proud self for feeling abused. He who has not experienced the difference may shrug his shoulders and think that it is irrelevant-that suffering is suffering. But it is true suffering alone that has the power to broaden and deepen our range of feelings and to open our hearts for the suffering of others. In De Profundis Oscar Wilde has described the liberation he felt when, instead of suffering from injured vanity, he started to experience true suffering”_
As you may know Cal Jung said that _"neurosis is a substitute for legitimate suffering"_
In Gnosticism, it was said that Jesus sung to his disciples the following excerpt from a Hymn.
_If thou hadst known how to suffer,
thou wouldest have been able not to suffer.
Learn thou to suffer, and thou shalt be able not to suffer'_
In reading the above passages,it's safe to say that there are two kinds of suffering: real and imaginary or meaningful and meaningless. If a person who carries with him trauma from having been sexually abused and if he were to free himself from it, as Dr. Horney said, will it also free him of any other trauma he most likely had during childhood? In other words, does trauma reside all in one place in our psyche?
Hi, GnosisMan50,
For me there are two kinds of suffering: The suffering of loss, which we must grieve, and the suffering we experience by resisting grieving the pain of the loss. Of course, no one likes pain, so our knee-jerk reaction is to resist experiencing the pain, which is what the Jung quote referred to. However, as we go through the grieving process, we must learn to "embrace" our grief as a natural part of the human experience, which then allows us to grieve, grow, and heal. In addition, grieving a major loss leads to wisdom because we learn so much about ourselves and and this phenomenon called life as we grieve. If, however, we avoid grieving, then we can remain stuck in what Jung called our neurosis. So, learning to grieve, which is the key skill of emotional intelligence, will enable us deal with any of life's traumas and losses, past or present.
Thank you so much counselor.
You're welcome, Juliet!
Hello Carl. I have found your talks very helpful. Do you have any words of advice of how to deal with the overwhelming feelings of fear and anxiety following the loss of my husband ? I was not prepared for it at all.
I lost my beloved brother to sudden death three weeks ago. I feel as though my heart is actually broken in pieces. 💔
Hi, Minnie. I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved brother. I hope my videos on grief help you navigate the waters of this terrible loss. I wish you the best.
Counselor Carl Thank you, sir. Your videos have been very helpful to me.
@@minnie7700 You're welcome, Minnie.
Thank you I really needed this understanding
You're very welcome, Christian.
@Serenityonlinetherapy I lost my wife this past Sunday. I am a complete wreck! But understanding the road in front of me is half the battle. Thank you again sir.
@@christianshaver972 I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved wife.
Excellent video. Thank you for creating this. - Paige
Beliefs Become Reality. You're welcome!
My husband passed 2 mos ago, I am concerned about this long grief, because I don’t want to feel like this
I'm sorry for the loss of your husband. Two months in not a long time to grieve the loss of a life partner. Give it time.
Great video.
I am going through a break up and I just lost my grandma
I am sorry for your losses. I hope my videos help.
Counselor Carl they do a lot thank you
@@Serenityonlinetherapy im gay and I scared tell my mum and dad i told my uncle who died he told me they will apcet me and loves me how tell them im gay ??.
@@michellelohde8683 Hi Michelle, that is not something I can just answer in a post. I suggest you Google "how to come out as gay to my parents" and see what experts and others have to say. I wish you the best.
Best explanation thus far!
I'm stuck at numbing and distracting, which has led me into digital addiction and constant binge eating, health going down.
Hi, Anton. Everyone has their way of grieving. However, since you've fallen into some self-destructive behaviors, you should seek help. Talk to a mental health professional or your doctor. Things can get better. I wish you the best.
@@Serenityonlinetherapy Thank you ❤
@@heartsource You're welcome!
Thank you for all your videos
I lost my brother 28th October 2018. It's been almost 2 years and I can't stop crying, overthinking. I am now scared of death, not because a fear pain or afterlife expectancies. I fear leaving my child behind, I would hate for him to ever go through this pain. Ever. And I would hate to ever go through this pain again, I don't wanna bring anymore children into the world because I don't want to have much people who I care about and who cares about me. The pain is so unbearable, I wouldn't want anyone to go through it.
I am ultimately scared of love. Death makes me scared to love.
@@charityhaigh2562 Hi, Charity. I am so sorry for the death of your beloved brother. I hope you are receiving support for your grief - a grief counselor or grief support group. Traumatic loss is not something you want to try to cope with alone. There is help available. Please seek it out. The fears, feelings, and thoughts you are having are a natural part of grieving, but sometimes we need help to work through them so we can get back to living life in the here and now.
I feel like after almost 7 years I'm still stuck in between denial, anger & undoing
We lost our son who was 39 less than 2 months ago, on Dec 22, 2017. He was our youngest of 3 children. He died of a heart attack. He died instantly. I'm hurting so bad. I cry a lot. It seems so unreal.
Yes, it is surreal. I am so sorry for the tragic loss of your beloved son! I am glad you are educating yourself about grief because it can be so confusing.
Barbara Eddings I was on a trip to Instanbul Turkey...
It's ok We all had experienced grief and losses.
I am starting to go through major depression because my sister is in the final stages of lung cancer. As of this post, she has about two weeks to live, and it just about killing me. This is not the first death of this year. Her son-in-law, who was about a year younger than her, died in August of pneumonia after battling cancer and other illnesses for nearly twenty years. Her daughter just received a kidney transplant out of town two weeks ago and just went into the hospital today because she has an intestinal blockage. I can hardly stand it anymore. Pieces of you die when people close to you start dying off, and it isn't going to get easier for me. I am 64 almost 65.
I'm so sorry for all the losses you are experiencing.. Grief can be overwhelming, and successive losses can lead to grief overload. Self-care and seeking healthy supports (personal, professional, and support groups) can really help you navigate such difficult waters.
Thank you for the wise words.
You're welcome!
Wise words , I have recently lost my daughter and I’m experiencing this very thing
I am so sorry for your tragic loss.
This is a story that happened to my best friend's family. I am trying to share it with everyone I can because they know where true comfort, peace & hope is found. God bless you!
Family Story
Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day.
My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening.
That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of
a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are.
Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you.
His Story
Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God.
“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23)
“Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12)
He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell.
“For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price]
“But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8)
Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today!
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him.
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b)
Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour!
“And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28)
Your Story
What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son.
The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven.
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)
We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready?
“...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b)
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c)
******************************
This testimony has been made into a tract form as well, so if you or your church are interested in having them to pass out, please go to libertyfaith.net and you will find the contact info there. God bless!
Tribute to Ethan Lakey
ua-cam.com/video/EhobcQZ6Qb8/v-deo.html
Thanks Carl.....very helpful!! God bless
You're welcome!
Hi Karl the worst is over, thank u for ur elp 5 months ago it saved my life, my grief now 6 months down the line comes in every 2 to 3 weeks. My Wife and I are getting divorced and she has admitted she was wrong in abandoning wivout any reason at all, and emotionally neglecting me to. I still get suicidal thoughts now and again but ba lot less, and those suicidal thoughts to frighthen me, but they pass.
I am glad you are understanding and working your way through your grief, which can be so confusing and debilitating. You are doing the work, so continue to trust the process that allowing yourself to grieve will take you to a better place that you never imagined possible in the immediate aftermath of the separation. Best wishes!
Thanks Brother Karl.
You're very welcome!
Thank you so much it exactly the way I fell x
You're welcome, Maureen. I'm sorry for your loss
It has been 5 years since I lost my son. I still don't feel like the person I was before. I'm in a limbo state and I really want to have a direction!
Hi, Amanda. I am so sorry for the tragic loss of your son. You should reach out to your primary care doctor or a grief counselor or mental health profession for support and direction. I wish you the best!
This is a story that happened to my best friend's family. I am trying to share it with everyone I can because they know where true comfort, peace & hope is found. God bless you!
Family Story
Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day.
My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening.
That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of
a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are.
Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you.
His Story
Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God.
“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23)
“Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12)
He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell.
“For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price]
“But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8)
Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today!
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him.
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b)
Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour!
“And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28)
Your Story
What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son.
The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven.
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)
We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready?
“...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b)
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c)
******************************
This testimony has been made into a tract form as well, so if you or your church are interested in having them to pass out, please go to libertyfaith.net and you will find the contact info there. God bless!
Tribute to Ethan Lakey
ua-cam.com/video/EhobcQZ6Qb8/v-deo.html
I lost my brother on sept 4. He was 37. I am 38. I have an emptyness that feels unlike anything I have ever experienced. I have lost people close before but nothing like this. The person I was the day before is gone and It scares me. I have 5 daughters and I feel like I am neglecting them because of this I feel hurt, shame all the horrible feelings together. Tell me it gets better.
m d. I am sorry for the loss of your brother. Yes it does get better if you allow yourself to grieve. I have a playlist of videos on grief that might help as well.
This is the most helpful video I've watched . At least I'm acting normal. Thanks
I'm glad you found my video helpful. Best wishes!
Thank you for this video. It helps.
You're welcome!