An 8 inch CIWS? They've turned Puff The Magic Dragon into Belarion The Black Dread, just in case they might need to perforate a star. And you know that, somewhere on the planet, there's a crew putting the finishing touches on an MK-19 that fires Tsar Bombas at a rate of 350 rounds a minute.
@@GrigoriZhukov lol...that slow. the real MK-19 fires 40mm grenades. it doesn't need to fire fast, as each grenade has a 5m killing radius and a 15m casualty radius. now imagine 350 grenades coming at your direction you and your friends are hiding in....still think it's slow ??? lol
After millions of years a exploration ships stumbles a planet full of giant weapons. They do not realize that the giant structures are weapons at first and begin to explore the structures. After realizing that the bizarre structures are infact weapons they quickly leave and return the way they came. While hoping the giants that built such weapons do not find them.
I'm still waiting for the fully automatic 18m 100 caliber naval rifle... railgun. no, not 18mm... "They had a death star. Now we've got a new asteroid belt."
@@Nyet-Zdyes You'll like it. This is basically the halfway point in the story. All in all it is like an hour long and it just gets more and more absurd. I haven't noticed the rest here on this channel, but a video called 'Humans Please Stop Making GIANT GUNS!!! | Sci-Fi Story | HFY Story" has it (I still don't know if this is the actual end, but its the furthest I've seen)
Story 1. So, the lesson can be resumed as : Give freely to the humans and you'll get repaid back with interest. BUT, don't ever try to short change or abuse them, as you'll regret that to your last breath, and beyond. Story 2. Or, there is NO such thing as overkill and bigger IS better, the bigger the better. Also, there is no such thing as overdoing it.
24. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a big gun. 34. If you’re leaving scorch-marks, you need a bigger gun. 37. There is no 'overkill.' There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload.'[33] Amended: There is no "overkill." There is only "open fire" and "reload."
@@wyrmhand I see and raise 14. "Mad Science" means never stopping to ask "What's the worst thing that could happen?" 56. Infantry exists to paint targets for people with real guns. 57. Artillery exists to launch large chunks of budget at an enemy you cannot actually see.
Story 2: Sure.... Show us the gun. Agro Squirrel: Doubt you'll see this but it's pronounced See Wiz. and it is a truly frighting ship defense weapon. Think the A-10's main gun but for ships with a higher rate of fire and greater ammunition stores. Great narration as always!
Story 1: Play nice with humans, and you profit. Don't play nice, and we destroy everything in retaliation. Story 2: Beware an engineer with unlimited resources and plenty of free time... you never know what the crazy monkey will come up with! While not as insanely up-scaled as the machine gun, that Phalanx cannon would also be a force to be reckoned with, especially by incoming missiles, fighters or troop shuttles...
i think my fav story on that, had an alien see humans using hard suits like spartan armor then one uped it, human saw this, said hell no, one uped him, and it went back and forth tell they had super robots >.>;
8 inch CWIS! How is a weapon system with an effective range measured in light seconds/minutes a Close In Weapon System? What would constitute a stand off weapon? Not complaining except for the fact I ate an entire 256 count box of crayons before the last story ended! Plenty of Dakka not enough crayons!
I remember the first story of this series. The alien kept screaming "why?" and the human "why not?" but in the end the alien quite enjoyed firing the damn thing
Yep Agro is starting the new year right. Please keep up the good work my friend you make my day a whole lot better! Thank you so very much!! WITH ENERGY!!!
good ole catfish. so far the only one i've remembered as a recurring author on this channel. i'm sure many of the others have recurring authors but catfish's stories are certainly a fingerprinted by them.
Greetings, Mentlegent! For the Rhyhtm that is Algo Story 1: We help those who help us Story 2: Uh, maybe not call it by that guy's name. That said, let us introduce the concept of the "Death Star"
And humanity has a long memory. We remember our friends and aid them, but we also remember our enemies even better and will collect what they owe us... WITH INTEREST! And this one isn't even the biggest gun we built. Wanna see it?
"Why two of them?" "Why buy one, when you can buy two for twice the price?" Also I recognize the second story's progenitor. I think the xeno whose POV we're getting is starting to have the humans rub off on him.
For the second story, I just imagined that TF2 Engineer and a bunch of other American's just smiling or plotting to make another BIGGER gun than the last. While the inspector get's even more disappointed and frustrated at our great interest of "MORE DAKKA"
I often wonder... did the most frightening human type, the lawyer, come about solely to prevent the 2nd most frightening human type, the bored engineer, from destroying the fabric of the universe?
Yup... help a human who's in a tough spot and you've got a friend who will go to hell and back for you. However, harm a human, or god's forbid a human's family, and you now have an enemy who will drag you to hell with them.
Love the stories were the aliens don’t understand why humanity is angry after being attacked since “we only attacked one planet you wiped out our empire” without realizing that the earth is our only world you threaten all of us we threaten all of you
Failing to understand humans means failing in life, huh? Well, I pity those aliens, since we rarely understand ourselfes. Damn, _I_ don't understand myself often enough.
the schematics are in mm ... who cares, let's do it in inches ... its just a scale factor of 25.4 .... reminds of the story where the terrans built the war ship scaled up ...
Oh I remember that one. Some aliens sending humans a blueprints to build a battleship. The humans misread the blue prints. When the human show up for the ship everything is 100 times the size it should be.
I doubt humanity would intentionally extinct a species. After all what would we put in preserves for tourists to see and therefore improve the economy.
An 8 inch CIWS?
They've turned Puff The Magic Dragon into Belarion The Black Dread, just in case they might need to perforate a star.
And you know that, somewhere on the planet, there's a crew putting the finishing touches on an MK-19 that fires Tsar Bombas at a rate of 350 rounds a minute.
Noisy cricket, flechette version.
@@HenshinFanatici want one… for each hand…😂
That slow?
@@GrigoriZhukov lol...that slow. the real MK-19 fires 40mm grenades. it doesn't need to fire fast, as each grenade has a 5m killing radius and a 15m casualty radius. now imagine 350 grenades coming at your direction you and your friends are hiding in....still think it's slow ??? lol
@nadjasunflower1387 cut my teeth putting out 90m kill radius with kiloton options. So yes, Mk19 doesn't rate as a sidearm in my armory.
There is never enough giant guns.
Never enough daka
Yes there is, but that number is 1 less than infinity.
@@paulv.2629 Plus a few more just to be sure!
@@paulv.2629we will only have enough when there isn’t any space to put them.
There is only the other guy not having as many guns.
After millions of years a exploration ships stumbles a planet full of giant weapons. They do not realize that the giant structures are weapons at first and begin to explore the structures. After realizing that the bizarre structures are infact weapons they quickly leave and return the way they came. While hoping the giants that built such weapons do not find them.
CWIS, pronounced "see-wis or see wiz" a Close-In Weapon System. An automated multibarrel weapon intended to shoot down aircraft and missiles.
Think cheez whiz, but bullets
an 8 Inch CWIS. For when you want to liquefy moons that get too close?
Hahahah oval shape goes Brrrrrrrrrtttt
@@big7588 I'd hate to see its Magazine.
@@carldooley9344 A magazine the size of a large navy destroy 😁
CIWS is an acronym, and is pronounced "Sea-whiz".
Source: used to be a US Navy gunner
How's your hearing?
That being said you more FEEL it than hear it. ;-)
Great stories; Excellent narration! As a "retired" military engineer, I can really relate to the engineers in the 2nd story! LOL!!!
By retired, do you mean they just went "You can retire early with full benefits! Just please stop!"?
The smile on my face at the thought of an 8 in futuristic c-wiz would've scared a lot of people... FOR THE AUTHOR, FOR THE NARRATOR, FOR THE ALGORITHM
Can't wait for the full auto version of naval guns. MAC's anyone?
Sounds great 👍🏻😅
I'm still waiting for the fully automatic 18m 100 caliber naval rifle... railgun.
no, not 18mm...
"They had a death star. Now we've got a new asteroid belt."
@@Nyet-Zdyes Have you come across the rest of this story yet? Death Star? Check. Dead gods? Check. Asteroid belt? Sorry, that was vaporized.
@@whyjnot420 Nope... not yet!
@@Nyet-Zdyes You'll like it. This is basically the halfway point in the story. All in all it is like an hour long and it just gets more and more absurd.
I haven't noticed the rest here on this channel, but a video called 'Humans Please Stop Making GIANT GUNS!!! | Sci-Fi Story | HFY Story" has it (I still don't know if this is the actual end, but its the furthest I've seen)
Story 1. So, the lesson can be resumed as : Give freely to the humans and you'll get repaid back with interest. BUT, don't ever try to short change or abuse them, as you'll regret that to your last breath, and beyond.
Story 2. Or, there is NO such thing as overkill and bigger IS better, the bigger the better. Also, there is no such thing as overdoing it.
Story 2 is yet another case of "Never, EVER, let engineers get bored"
24. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a big gun.
34. If you’re leaving scorch-marks, you need a bigger gun.
37. There is no 'overkill.' There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload.'[33]
Amended: There is no "overkill." There is only "open fire" and "reload."
@@wyrmhand 😎👏🏾💖
@@wyrmhand
I see and raise
14. "Mad Science" means never stopping to ask "What's the worst thing that could happen?"
56. Infantry exists to paint targets for people with real guns.
57. Artillery exists to launch large chunks of budget at an enemy you cannot actually see.
Overkill is building what you don't need yet, also called foresight.
I'm sure there's an M2 50 cal version on the other side of the planet that they haven't gotten around to mentioning yet...
:) as is 50''?
I swear to God. The m2 50cal is probably still in aktiv service,when we get light speed just course... 50cal...
Story 2: Sure.... Show us the gun.
Agro Squirrel: Doubt you'll see this but it's pronounced See Wiz. and it is a truly frighting ship defense weapon. Think the A-10's main gun but for ships with a higher rate of fire and greater ammunition stores. Great narration as always!
Story one: No lies were told.
Story two: BFG for the win!!!!! Because reasons!
"Well you see Admiral, we had this gun so, we built the ship around it."
"Why would you build a giant gun?"
"Because I can"
"Same reason I made naval armaments into handguns."
You can also play Doom on it.
I wonder if they ever finished building the giant marine robot for the Garand?
Story 1: Play nice with humans, and you profit. Don't play nice, and we destroy everything in retaliation.
Story 2: Beware an engineer with unlimited resources and plenty of free time... you never know what the crazy monkey will come up with!
While not as insanely up-scaled as the machine gun, that Phalanx cannon would also be a force to be reckoned with, especially by incoming missiles, fighters or troop shuttles...
Both stories are a cautionary tale of the fabled "proportional response" 😂
i think my fav story on that, had an alien see humans using hard suits like spartan armor then one uped it, human saw this, said hell no, one uped him, and it went back and forth tell they had super robots >.>;
Oh god...
Oh my god, a GAU? Time to start designing the A-1000 Warthog Prime around it.
When you absolutely need to BRRRRT a planet in half.
8 inch CWIS! How is a weapon system with an effective range measured in light seconds/minutes a Close In Weapon System? What would constitute a stand off weapon? Not complaining except for the fact I ate an entire 256 count box of crayons before the last story ended! Plenty of Dakka not enough crayons!
Space is big. Considering how inertia works in space, detection range is engagement range. You would hope to engage at light seconds or further.
haha so you listened to the story where they surrendered. when the marines sent a note written in crayon
@@lupaswolfshead9971 wait the marines wrote a note with a crayon, wow whoever it was sent to really pissed the marines off.
@@draconisaganatanah tehy ran out of anything but had lots of crayon left, that Made the enemy flee
yeah the reason he surrendered was theyve got crayons lmao@@draconisaganata
We humans do love our guns.
I remember the first story of this series. The alien kept screaming "why?" and the human "why not?" but in the end the alien quite enjoyed firing the damn thing
*Americans
Americans with guns are the best@@Hurricayne92
@@Arcainmech2 Except those still undergoing basic/highschool education..
I'mma show myself out..
Here and I thought my left handed LR-308 was pretty trick. A GAU-80? Damn!
the first story was good and i'd like more lectures
the second story is just so orky and human loved it
thanks for the narration sir
Yep Agro is starting the new year right. Please keep up the good work my friend you make my day a whole lot better! Thank you so very much!! WITH ENERGY!!!
An 8" CWIS...
🤯
I'd so love to see that.
Love the stories. Here is a like and comment for the stories, for entertaining me, to help your channel grow, and get you the recognition you deserve.
THANK YOU FOR THE MEAL I LIKED THE 2ND STORY ALOT
The only thing more dangerous than a bored human engineer is an unsupervised bored human engineer.
LOVE those giant gun stories!
I really enjoyed Human Economics.
GAU-80, upsized version of GAU-8 Avenger (A-10's primary weapon)
When the engineers don't think the A-10 has enough BRRRRRRRRRRT...
Next up a 20” mini gun
Enlarged 100 times. It's now a 2000" «mini» gun.
@@Kualinar so a 166.6667 foot
@@USS_Grey_Ghost freedom seeds in freedom units.
For the love of the algorithm! Let there be a part 2 for the second story!
Good story 😍😍😍
good ole catfish. so far the only one i've remembered as a recurring author on this channel. i'm sure many of the others have recurring authors but catfish's stories are certainly a fingerprinted by them.
For the Squirel ,and the algo
Thank you for the video.
WE NEED MORE DACKA
There's no such thing as too much dakka. 😆
Greetings, Mentlegent!
For the Rhyhtm that is Algo
Story 1: We help those who help us
Story 2: Uh, maybe not call it by that guy's name. That said, let us introduce the concept of the "Death Star"
Thanks!
My pleasure
I consider "reasons" to be one of the best reasons for anything. 😂😂 Also my first name backwards is ynot.😂
Was half expecting the engineer to say, "'cause we need more dakka"
Damned good storyteller
A very good giggle 🤣😂😱
For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Holographic Voice!
"Well Admiral. Weapons dont make themselves and violence is half the battle."
-Said the human with a warm smile.
And humanity has a long memory. We remember our friends and aid them, but we also remember our enemies even better and will collect what they owe us... WITH INTEREST!
And this one isn't even the biggest gun we built. Wanna see it?
GOOD GOD! i love it!
hUMAN ECONOMICS....Wow! WOW!!! The author really IS a "student of our species! Well Done! and I have something to think about.... a lot (LOL)
For the Algorithm ,For the Author(s), For the Disembodied voice!
Revenge as a form of economics?
Maybe we shouldn't let this bit of knowledge reach the Ferengi quite yet.
🙂😁 crazy not found
The last weapon from the second story for those curious.
CIWS: Close in weapons system.
"Why two of them?"
"Why buy one, when you can buy two for twice the price?"
Also I recognize the second story's progenitor. I think the xeno whose POV we're getting is starting to have the humans rub off on him.
Love the beard!!!
the 8 inch GAU 80... that's just a 203mm version of the gatling cannon from the A-10 warthog
"Where is the brrrrt? There was supposed to be an earth shattering brrrrrt-OH GOD THERE IT IS"
A handgun-sized super-automatic weapon, because everybody wants moar dakka, and there ain't no such thing as "too much".
Gods… an 8 inch cwis would be… awe inspring
CAnt wait for part three when they make a big shotgun or a cal50 sniper😅😂
For the second story, I just imagined that TF2 Engineer and a bunch of other American's just smiling or plotting to make another BIGGER gun than the last. While the inspector get's even more disappointed and frustrated at our great interest of "MORE DAKKA"
For DA SKWERL and his Nest
Can we build a ship around that gun?
haha this is a follow on from the m4 lmfao
More Dakka!
Just wait until they slap together a fully functional space capable USS Missouri that's 1000 miles long.
I often wonder... did the most frightening human type, the lawyer, come about solely to prevent the 2nd most frightening human type, the bored engineer, from destroying the fabric of the universe?
4 D 🐿️ ❗❗💯
An 8 inch gau 8, please someone take those engineers tools, they are crazy.
hehe it reminds me of the story where the humans upscaled an m4 to planetary defence cannon
Story 2:
As a gamer - The best form of CC is DEAD. The second best is Surrendering.
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT
Lemurs with a damn gun.🤣🤣🤣
CIWS... Close in Weapon System. Pronounced Sea Whiz.
Big Dakka go BBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTT! Little dreadnought go bye bye.
2nd story - LOL reasons - because we wanted to see if we could.
I do!
"Why did they do this?"
Humans: Because it's cool.
Yup... help a human who's in a tough spot and you've got a friend who will go to hell and back for you. However, harm a human, or god's forbid a human's family, and you now have an enemy who will drag you to hell with them.
CWIS, the sound of a piss(ing) weapons engineer at their opponent.
Love the stories were the aliens don’t understand why humanity is angry after being attacked since “we only attacked one planet you wiped out our empire” without realizing that the earth is our only world you threaten all of us we threaten all of you
There's a reason they call payback a bitch.
Failing to understand humans means failing in life, huh? Well, I pity those aliens, since we rarely understand ourselfes. Damn, _I_ don't understand myself often enough.
humans really are insane some in a good way some decidedly not
Holy mother of God!! 8 !!INCH!! CWIS?! ...... 🤔
Not big enough. Make it 16" and we'll call it pretty good.
the schematics are in mm ... who cares, let's do it in inches ... its just a scale factor of 25.4 .... reminds of the story where the terrans built the war ship scaled up ...
Oh I remember that one. Some aliens sending humans a blueprints to build a battleship. The humans misread the blue prints. When the human show up for the ship everything is 100 times the size it should be.
Size does matter, can't remember if that was the title or just the thumbnail though.
They should make a m-19
DAKKA!
Honestly it's only a matter of time before we actually build something like that 😂
Where's Bert?
Try telling that first story to any american socialist
Do you have a moment to talk about Brrrt, our Lord and Saviour?
I doubt humanity would intentionally extinct a species. After all what would we put in preserves for tourists to see and therefore improve the economy.
😀
8 inch CISW.........
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! DAKA DAKA DALKA
Ma Deuce.....
8" you say. Tell me how soon we go into prodution and oh yeah. Please tell me it is capable of full auto an has optional smart munitions.
CIWS is pronounced see-whiz
5th, 9 January 2024
Bigger is better. Just ask anybody.
Great, another Boomstick story. 😅
Comment
thats not even our weapons final form hahahahahahaha.