A video for anyone feeling behind in life

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,1 тис.

  • @Thomasfrank
    @Thomasfrank  3 роки тому +355

    🧐 Hey there! I really hope you find this one helpful. I think about this a lot, ESPECIALLY the bit about age (and capability) being primarily a factor of habits.
    .
    🦙 I'm super excited to be working with Loom as a sponsor now! I use their tool every day with my team and to offer stellar support to my Notion template customers. Check it out: loom.com/thomasfrank
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    🖊 Quote of the week: "If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything; it is open for everything." - Shunryu Suzuki

    • @zavioxx8670
      @zavioxx8670 3 роки тому +3

      I feel behind Elon Musk in life and it is really sad I just want to catch up I know I can work smart enough and I would be happy to commit but I am not doing enough work and it is kind of unfair since I live in a developing country and I was born too late all the points you are making may be true but by the age I become important AI already would have took over😭

    • @zavioxx8670
      @zavioxx8670 3 роки тому +2

      Btw I think you got critical thinking, creativity and innovation all wrong, as you always relate these concepts directly to someone's experience and knowledge, but the truth is, experience isn't really even useful, as critical thinking, like mathematics, starts with simple facts e.g. calculus goes back to very simple concepts, same applies for any situation where you want to learn the truth, you can't take things for granted, and the thing is, any conclusion that you take away from an experience will be over simplified, not reaching the routs of whatever problem is under discussion, the chance of getting the right answer, would be only slightly higher than random, and this is my argument against experience relating to critical thinking and good philosophy.
      I may have lived 17 years and through I lack the experience, actual hours of questioning the world around me, a lot of critical thinking, and maintaining these strong habits, makes me have better intuition and more wisdom than adults that haven't developed the habit of critical thinking.
      It's definitely rare to find any person logically and philosophically criticizing their life, that is why it's rare to see an adult dumber than a teenager, but the thing is, that is also what makes it likely that any capable mind of a younger age will out wit that of an adult; it is unlikely that that adult uses their own minds the right way, rationally.
      You may make the argument that experience can be used to prove an idea, but the truth is, taking something as complex as life to prove a point, will lead to many unknown variables which may totally change the equation and lead to false judgement.
      And for knowledge it isn't really much of inspiration, the use of knowledge is to avoid reinventing the wheel, which may sometimes be necessary for actually learning what's right, because one of the best ways to know if info regarding something is true, is to reinvent it, still, I do acknowledge its importance for efficiency though, but creativity is about connecting dots regardless of there complexity, it is only that it is more complex and more knowledge doesn't boost your creativity, it only sometimes boosts you originality; the more complex the dots you connect the less likely they where connected. It is important to note that some types of knowledge are more important than others.
      Some level of knowledge is important to reach innovation, but it's the creative ideas that you make, that will pile up to reach a level of functionality that makes them innovative, not the knowledge that you read.
      It's that knowledge that you create, which starts of from many simple ideas that you may learn, and only in the execution, will you need the wrest of your knowledge related to a subject.
      That all comes back to one of your previous videos "This is why you don’t feel inspired."; you shouldn't be collecting dots, but connecting the ones you have, to create new dots that will eventually lead to creativity and innovation.
      Sorry, I don't have the time to edit this and polish it, I have school tomorrow. Hope it wasn't a waste of my time.

    • @simonvutov7575
      @simonvutov7575 3 роки тому +1

      I’m 15 (; and very happy

    • @ApequH
      @ApequH 3 роки тому +1

      I like the video but I do think that it has a heavy survivorship bias. The part about ageing and beginnersmind where very good.

    • @zavioxx8670
      @zavioxx8670 3 роки тому +1

      True

  • @tezzag818
    @tezzag818 2 роки тому +2778

    I became a psychologist at 40, a fitness instructor at 60, a published author at 62, a personal trainer and artist (whose paintings sell) at 68. It is never too late. Now at 70, I work full time at a gym and life is wonderful!

    • @consistenc51
      @consistenc51 2 роки тому +126

      I had a large financial setback this year. I’m in my 40’s and feel everything I’ve been working for is mostly gone. Panic attacks, anxiety and depression with sleepless nights are the norm for me now. I feel so stuck. You’re message is a beacon of hope, thank you for sharing.

    • @christopherarias7659
      @christopherarias7659 2 роки тому +19

      Life is a sad thing.

    • @vonkunstler884
      @vonkunstler884 2 роки тому +14

      Wow that’s awesome! Enjoy!

    • @goat2503
      @goat2503 2 роки тому +23

      Living proof that it’s never too late to live out our ambitions 👏

    • @Babesinthewood97
      @Babesinthewood97 2 роки тому +9

      Wow Im a fan

  • @kellyann5388
    @kellyann5388 2 роки тому +357

    40 and in nursing school. We don’t all know what we want at 18. Don’t compare yourself to others. ❤

    • @mattiepierson2756
      @mattiepierson2756 Рік тому +12

      36 and in nursing school 😭 wondering, what was I thinking?! But we got this!!!!

    • @jragon9215
      @jragon9215 Рік тому +2

      I’m 34 still live with my parents and sleep with my baby blanket at night

  • @KathySierraVideo
    @KathySierraVideo 3 роки тому +3138

    Y’all are youngsters 🤗. I lost my programming job at age 42, and with no possibilities, wrote a programming book. It went on to spawn a series and sell more than 2 million copies. I still live from my royalties. The point is, in my 20’s and 30’s it would NEVER have occurred to me I could write a book, and no way could I predict it would become one of the bestselling tech books in Amazon history.
    And at 50, I went back to school and, well, yeah, it’s never too late 😁. Some of the best work of my life happened after turning 60, and it was something I never imagined doing.
    Never stop exploring.

    • @Nurse_Nelly
      @Nurse_Nelly 3 роки тому +67

      This is truly amazing thanks for sharing!

    • @krishchauhan235
      @krishchauhan235 3 роки тому +26

      Wow thanks for sharing.

    • @bethewish
      @bethewish 3 роки тому +23

      Thank you so much for this. I really needed it today.

    • @cheddarsunchipsyes8144
      @cheddarsunchipsyes8144 3 роки тому +54

      What is the books name? I would like to check it out.

    • @ahmed51988
      @ahmed51988 3 роки тому +8

      Thanks for sharing your insighful experience

  • @NK-iw6rq
    @NK-iw6rq 2 роки тому +533

    Just turned 82 today and officially got my PhD in Physics! It's never too late to become who you might have been !

    • @JungSooLeee
      @JungSooLeee 2 роки тому +28

      I'm 35. I hope I can live a full life like you

    • @NK-iw6rq
      @NK-iw6rq 2 роки тому +32

      @@JungSooLeee Thank you! You absolutely can ! Eat right, exercise when you can and do things that make you feel happy and fulfilled. That is the secret formula!

    • @calonbudiman3666
      @calonbudiman3666 Рік тому +2

      @@NK-iw6rq what you eat and what you don't?

    • @NK-iw6rq
      @NK-iw6rq Рік тому +8

      ​@@calonbudiman3666 I eat only healthy carbs so brown rice or whole wheat breads. I try to eat as lean as possible, so chicken, turkey and fish as my protein sources. and last but not least, lots of veggies and fruits. Broccoli, Brussel Sprouts, Carrots, Spinach, Kale, Peas, Avocados, Bananas, Apples, Pomegranate Blueberries .. etc. I usually make fruit and/or veggie shakes blending them all up.

    • @calonbudiman3666
      @calonbudiman3666 Рік тому +1

      @@NK-iw6rq thankyou bro wishing you all the best

  • @DemetriPanici
    @DemetriPanici 3 роки тому +1294

    *“If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” - Jim Rohn*

    • @iDanielRoman
      @iDanielRoman 3 роки тому +11

      this quote!

    • @cooker3237
      @cooker3237 3 роки тому +3

      👏

    • @absolutely_fabulous891
      @absolutely_fabulous891 2 роки тому +5

      Needed that. Thank you.

    • @afrinakhanam4696
      @afrinakhanam4696 2 роки тому +14

      Agreed. Sometimes, we shape our life on what others think is best for us. Both my parents and my ex were forcing me to get married and have kids in my early 20s, cause all of my friends were at least married or pregnant by then. It took me a long while to realize, I don't even want children, so, I was never behind in life since that was not even what I am aiming for. Eventually, I moved out of my parent's place and broke up with my ex. Yes, still, I have thousands of problems in my life, but I am not behind in a life which was shaped by someone else.

    • @heyimhoben
      @heyimhoben 2 роки тому +1

      Oh boy thanks

  • @gamster96
    @gamster96 3 роки тому +718

    I'm 25 and just gratuated. For the first time in my life I am free to do what I want, yet I see so many people younger then me who are so much further in life then I am. It worried me. But I keep remembering that quote from Mulan, "The last flower to blossom will be the most beautiful of all."

    • @red_dll
      @red_dll 3 роки тому +31

      I'm 23 and still in university. I finished a vocational training, studied for four semesters and then changed my degree course.
      Now I am in third semester and don't even want to do something with my training :D
      We are still young and apparently we just need some more time. If others are "further" than we are: Great for them and I am happy that they do well.
      But our time will come if we keep going :)

    • @user-rb4lv4if9q
      @user-rb4lv4if9q 3 роки тому +12

      Thats a wonderful quote from Mulan🌻

    • @Jen-li4oz
      @Jen-li4oz 3 роки тому +19

      I'm much older than you and I was among those who were too quick to settle and get a career. But it partially crashed down a few years ago. I don't regret anything, it was my path and it has its coherence but I do encourage you to take your time and I am absolutely sure you did it the right way.
      But I would rather compare life to trees as the more we grow up, the more we branch out. Some of the branches won't lead to anything now (but maybe later?) and some will develop beautifully. That's why comparing ourselves to others is pointless.

    • @kamalekermawi
      @kamalekermawi 3 роки тому +28

      Im 25 and im only half way through law school - the average age in my class is 20/21 :((((((

    • @arian7339
      @arian7339 3 роки тому +7

      @@red_dll Hey Red, yeah we are probably still young, but please don't fall in that trap. Time is flying. You close your eyes and suddenly find yourself in your 30s and 40s. Have a plan and a goal, then you can enjoy the journey.

  • @LearningandTechnology
    @LearningandTechnology 3 роки тому +390

    I’m 55 and the mantra “stay curious” is the way to have a successful life - at any age.

    • @site_is_down
      @site_is_down 2 роки тому +4

      I agree. We should keep ourselves adaptable and flexible in whatever situations we may involve ourselves with, so it's going to be easy for us to conquer and hurdle the hard times whenever we are being confronted by it.

  • @marianunez1650
    @marianunez1650 3 роки тому +1361

    Can't believe it, I was in the middle of a mental breakdown because I already graduate and still don't know what to study, while all my friends are already attending it. This gave me hope and clarity. Thanks a lot Thomas, I really needed this ❣❤❤❤❣

    • @mariostudio7
      @mariostudio7 3 роки тому +19

      Do one of the things you enjoy the most and if you change your mind during the process, you can always change direction. it's never too late.

    • @am243pm
      @am243pm 3 роки тому +13

      I was in the middle of a breakdown myself

    • @red_dll
      @red_dll 3 роки тому +18

      When I graduated I thought I'd know what I want. I finished a vocational training and started to study at a university.
      Now I am 23 years old, can't imagine actually working somewhere with my training and changed my degree course.
      And you know what? It's fine. Sometimes you'll start to see things differently than before. New and exciting ones arise, old ones get boring and unappealing. Sometimes you just have to try things for yourself. If it is fun: great! If not: Drop it and look for something else you are interested in.
      The only thing you should not do is to give up. I can also recommend to get to know other people. Networking is actually great. Even if it's just to learn about new perspectives.
      I joined a political youth party for example (well, politics is not the important part here). It's great to talk to knew people, get to know them better, maybe build friendships and get some insights.

    • @yoshikagekira7600
      @yoshikagekira7600 3 роки тому +3

      same, we are really lucky

    • @yourfriendlyneighborhoodbu3733
      @yourfriendlyneighborhoodbu3733 3 роки тому +3

      Good for u 👍🏻👍🏻

  • @edwinlotero3463
    @edwinlotero3463 2 роки тому +169

    There're many reasons why some of us start out "late". If anyone here has struggled with addiction and mental illness and is now in recovery like me, just remember that everyone's path in life is different but no less valid. I got my act together, went back to college, and well on my way to getting into a top graduate program for AI research. And I'm 39. You're not alone in this. Thank you, Thomas, for the inspiration!

    • @Estiallina
      @Estiallina 2 роки тому

      Oh bless you for “they’re “ rather than the commonly used and incorrect “there’s “! That made my day. Kinda tells you how my day has been, doesn’t it?😊

    • @prinzarena
      @prinzarena 2 роки тому +1

      Hi am starting an addiction recovery program. Can we talk about doing my it together?

  • @juliadotson9132
    @juliadotson9132 3 роки тому +401

    This totally makes so much sense. Starting college at 61, attempt #3. After raising my children, divorced and starting live over again. I am learning so much, even though it was very difficult from the beginning. I am so proud that I am where I am now. Correct, never too late. I am proof of it.

    • @site_is_down
      @site_is_down 2 роки тому +10

      You've got a very inspiring and amazing stories out there. I hope a lot of people can see this and learn from your life story. Glad that you're doing good now and I wish you all the best in life :)

    • @french2572
      @french2572 2 роки тому +2

      Keep it up!

    • @xxstormxx56
      @xxstormxx56 2 роки тому

      You're a drama queen

    • @ehrenthompson7891
      @ehrenthompson7891 2 роки тому +1

      Love it

    • @Iron-Bridge
      @Iron-Bridge 2 роки тому +1

      Well done!

  • @coelharebelde
    @coelharebelde 2 роки тому +94

    I'm 39 and I'm turning 40 this month. I live with my older sister and I can't find a job. It's hard not to think you're late when the world seems not made for those who start getting old and still can't find themselves.

    • @devendripillay4717
      @devendripillay4717 2 роки тому +18

      U not alone in thinking like this.
      Im 42 and keep questioning my purpose in this life. Feel so left behind.

    • @coelharebelde
      @coelharebelde 2 роки тому +11

      @@devendripillay4717
      Exactly. You reach an age where you should supposedly already know what to do but find yourself questioning life as if you were 20 years old. And time doesn't stop.

    • @devendripillay4717
      @devendripillay4717 2 роки тому +5

      @@coelharebelde
      Hopefully someday we get there 💞

    • @antonsimmons8519
      @antonsimmons8519 Рік тому +9

      Yeah, I'm 39 right now, I've got a job, but...the world does feel like it's made for the young and highly ambitious, not laid-back middle-aged folks.

    • @coelharebelde
      @coelharebelde Рік тому +5

      @@antonsimmons8519
      I agree. We don't know where we fit in now. I don't feel like I'm 40, but I am. In a world where people are living longer, the structure of society still seems to be made primarily for young people.

  • @refrain337
    @refrain337 3 роки тому +305

    there's no such thing as falling behind, there's only comparasion to others. those who party will regret not sudying, those who study will regret not partying.
    just do whatever makes you love man, dont ever look at other people and say "wow, their life is so much better than mine, they are so dedicated etc". it's your life and there's no such thing as wasting it

    • @jagjeet9046
      @jagjeet9046 2 роки тому +16

      you made so much sense...the problem is comparison

    • @godnotavailable2094
      @godnotavailable2094 2 роки тому +20

      That line about studying and partying is so true. No matter what you're doing, you're always missing out on something, and doing something that others will feel they are missing out on. Even if you're staring off in space doing nothing but entertaining your own thoughts, others are envious of your peace. I became acutely aware of that when a teacher once came up to me while I was doing exactly that, chuckled a little and said "I wish I could be more like you".

    • @nathantrujillo471
      @nathantrujillo471 2 роки тому

      I would say there is wasting it compared to other stuff. Doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it. But let’s not act like a heroin addict isn’t wasting it.

    • @jenneyblade864
      @jenneyblade864 2 роки тому

      I get what you are saying here. I just want to be a little snarky... if doing nothing is something, that something is nothing. Nothing from nothing, is still nothing. You can waste time and you can be "behind". Comparisons don't have to be a negative tool, they can be a way to gauge yourself. Do what you want from that point.

    • @Vikingshop
      @Vikingshop Рік тому

      It depends on whether you are living for God or not.

  • @cyndinn
    @cyndinn 2 роки тому +56

    Thank you, this video hit me hard, I am 32 and have nothing to my name. Felt like giving up on life. THIS VIDEO just saved me.

  • @noname9935
    @noname9935 2 роки тому +28

    I think it's fate I came across your video. I'm struggling to move forward and I'm almost 40. I'm really behind in life and I have no self confidence because of it. Right now I'm unemployed and I'm trying to put myself through school to finish my high school diploma. That's how behind I am. I'm currently struggling with the homework. I was starting to feel hopeless and useless. Now I feel better and more inspired.. Thank you.

    • @lijurobin1034
      @lijurobin1034 Рік тому +1

      You can do it no matter what. ❤❤❤.

  • @alexlilano1931
    @alexlilano1931 2 роки тому +40

    I went to a work conference and talked to all the psychologists and Pharmacists and I asked when they started. Half of them started in their 40s. Blew my mind. It actually motivated me to try something hard in my 30s.

    • @autumn399
      @autumn399 Рік тому +1

      WoW I didn't know that, I thought they mostly all started when they were 18 or something

  • @patataeve
    @patataeve 3 роки тому +109

    I'm 33 and needed to hear this today, thank you!!!

  • @jtoland2333
    @jtoland2333 2 роки тому +25

    I'm 53 and starting over. How can I not feel behind when society tells me I'm over? I am, however, grateful for this video. It provides a new perspective.

    • @dreamsofadaffodil650
      @dreamsofadaffodil650 2 роки тому +4

      Having courage to start all over anytime in life is itself an accomplishment....🌷🌷🌷🌷

    • @CrazyWatcher670
      @CrazyWatcher670 2 роки тому

      Thank you Toland. This gives encouragement to me.

    • @Herberberber
      @Herberberber Рік тому +1

      Toland u can do anything you want

  • @jerlenebartberger995
    @jerlenebartberger995 2 роки тому +150

    In short, it doesn’t matter when you started. it matters that you start. If you put effort, work and patience towards you will achieve that thing.

    • @dudedude365
      @dudedude365 2 роки тому +4

      Also mentally healthy and physical health matters so stay fit mentally and physically and always focused

    • @NorwayVestfold
      @NorwayVestfold 2 роки тому

      Thank you so so much for this comment🤯 It really spiked a flame in me🔥 that I can start today and achieve my goal whatever that may be,😇🌞 so my future self wont be blamed for what my present self was procrastinating in the past🌻🌾💐💐

  • @teddienelson4890
    @teddienelson4890 3 роки тому +140

    My father went to law school in his mid-thirties. He told me that whenever he had a case involving some former job or career -- he never lost because he knew all the details that others didn't. I'm now in my 70ties -- loved your video. Especially the part about the beginner's mind. I was a trainer and having a "beginner's mind" is essential if you want to effectively communicate new knowledge to someone. Now, I can use this concept to move myself into new areas. Thanks!

  • @alvindevasconcelos8555
    @alvindevasconcelos8555 3 роки тому +199

    I was actually in a state of chronic stress, anxiety, depression and a number of other things for the past months. This helped me a a lot. Thank you Thomas. I’ll follow your example

    • @DreMX
      @DreMX 2 роки тому

      Hey if you gotten out of that yet (I see this comment was 4 months ago), what helped you out?

    • @voiceglobalinc.6731
      @voiceglobalinc.6731 2 роки тому +1

      Glad you got out. Been suffering for few months. Im nearly over it! Feel much better. Been engaging in mysticism, sufism, meditation, spirituality, and practising being grateful for all of God's blessings

  • @interviewera3602
    @interviewera3602 Рік тому +7

    I struggled with anxiety disorders( OCD and SAD) and depression in most of my 20s. I was also careless and clueless about my life. Now at 31 starting my life from scratch. At times I regret about the time I wasted but no matter what I do I cannot go back and correct my mistakes. My struggles have changed me for good and I am hopeful for my future.

  • @merutosan8
    @merutosan8 3 роки тому +250

    I can't even begin myself to watch this video. I'm a 27 year old who feels blocked on everything, who has no window of opportunity. I try to improve my skills every day and I can't help but feel the pushback hard because of the fact that no opportunity shows up. I'm learning, I follow channels, I read and listen to keep myself inspired, but it's hard to keep it that way when you don't see any results, no matter how happy I am with the process. You've ALWAYS been my central source of inspiration Thomas, but I'm just feeling too stuck to even be inspired for anything at this point.

    • @Thomasfrank
      @Thomasfrank  3 роки тому +184

      Something I live by (and will cover in another video this month) is "show up and have something to show". The latter part of that is all about learning, building skills, and creating a body of work. But the "show up" part is important too - it means connecting with the community around your interests, interacting with people, going to events, etc.
      So one thing I'd ask you: Are you spending time engaging with that community around your interests? I know personally, I've gone through periods where I've sort of let that part of the equation slide, and that often makes me feel stuck or stagnant.

    • @Monster33336
      @Monster33336 3 роки тому +18

      You might have ADD and should see a doctor if you feel that way.

    • @andrejmajstorovic1437
      @andrejmajstorovic1437 3 роки тому +17

      "A mountain a pile of rocks", when you're faced with the impossible start with the possible. You can d it. You learned to walk and to speak, and everything till now. You'll learn this too ;(

    • @groovekiller
      @groovekiller 3 роки тому +16

      In James Clear’s book “Atomic Habits” he talks about the “valley of disappointment” It’s the grey area between developing or working on a habit before you see the progress or reward.
      He likens it to a stonecutter. There is a quote that encapsulates what he said:
      “Look at a stone cutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred-and-first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not the last blow that did it, but all that had gone before.”
      Jacob Riis
      So in my opinion: stay focused and consistent if you want to see results and maybe use any (ethical) means to do that. Once you see progress, reflect on all the work you’ve done and reward yourself emotionally.
      P.S
      It is also easy to overlook you’re progress too. Maybe give yourself credit for at-least being willing to improve yourself and value the progress you’ve already made. Again, just my two cents👍

    • @baahlint
      @baahlint 3 роки тому +1

      @@groovekiller That quote got me pretty hard, ngl. Sitting here with teary eyes. Thank you for sharing! :)

  • @williamhenson621
    @williamhenson621 3 роки тому +409

    You need to make more of these motivation-type videos brother. There are a ton of people here that really needed to see this today, including myself. I’m almost 29 and still grinding away at an entry level job and community college both full time, and believe me it can take a toll on your self-esteem at this age. It’s hard to not feel behind, but you definitely helped me realize that I’m still trying everyday and never giving up, and that’s the most important part for success. Thank you 🙏🏻

    • @lv9265
      @lv9265 3 роки тому +20

      I'm 23, trying uni for the second time (there's no thing as a college in my country), but unsure of whether it is what I want or what will be good for me job-wise. I feel like I'm wasting my time year after year and I'm very afraid. Thank you for being honest, this gives me hope and makes me feel less alone. 💛

    • @user-rb4lv4if9q
      @user-rb4lv4if9q 3 роки тому +4

      Same brother

    • @carldrogo9492
      @carldrogo9492 3 роки тому +13

      29 is nothing...I know folks who started university in their 40s!

    • @jonbarg5762
      @jonbarg5762 3 роки тому +2

      Keep at it.

    • @Zandeyninja
      @Zandeyninja 3 роки тому +2

      Been there bro keep up the grind it will pay off.

  • @Khadi-C
    @Khadi-C 3 роки тому +484

    A friend sent me this video after I shared a post about feeling perpetually stuck due to my childhood and adolescent years being lost.
    I'm 27. All of my friends are married, have kids, have a house, have a new car, travel, or some combination of the above. One friend who is five years younger than me bought a house with her boyfriend and a 2022 car this year, despite she makes *less* than I do. I am happy for her - I wish my friends well in life - but I am in school (again!) and live in a tiny apartment with my mom (she can't live alone), and seeing my friends fly by me makes me regret so many things and wish I could've figured it out sooner (my family wasn't exactly supportive, so mentally and emotionally, I was on my own). I've been out of high school for almost a decade and I feel like I have nothing to show for it except frustration. And I know 30 isn't "old", but it sure feels like I'm running out of time. Everyone is set, having a great life, and I'm just... here.

    • @sherylschaufelberger7386
      @sherylschaufelberger7386 3 роки тому +65

      I will be 30 next year! I know exactly how you feel! I will just finish now my Master in Psychology, with a lot of student loan dept. While my friends finished 2 years before me and have good jobs, engaged etc. But we can do this

    • @itsbelledivine
      @itsbelledivine 3 роки тому +29

      There is so much fulfilment and joy to be had, even though you’re currently in a place where you’re frustrated when you’re doing life with Jesus.

    • @itsbelledivine
      @itsbelledivine 3 роки тому +29

      Hey @angelstardom - I totally hear you, I was in a slightly similar position in terms of feeling ‘left behind’ when I had to repeat not just a year of high school but also university. What I’ve learnt though is that your perspectives shift when you turn away from the comparison trap. It’s super easy to fall into but it doesn’t end, there’s always gonna be something to want that is frustrating when you don’t have it - that’s not to say don’t have dreams and plans but have something constant.
      Everyone is on their own timeline, but I’ve seen that even detours can work out way better than a straight path if you’re trusting God. It’s like living parallel to everyone; I could have way less than others but still have so much joy in the moment. I’m realising that true joy and fulfilment, even in mundane stuff, even when things aren’t working out as I hoped for is possible.
      If you’ve gotten as far as reading this you’re a gem, but I wanted to say that every detail of your life is known and cared about by God - Jesus literally died for you to know Him and be in a relationship with God. I find that when your identity is in what God says (you’re loved, chosen, seen, known by God, special, not an accident etc.) then a lot of the good stuff we want becomes additional.
      Oh yeah, there’s a book (in the Bible but you can find it on Youversion) called Ecclesiastes - essentially the take away is that you can literally have everything, but without God it’s empty. There is SO much joy in life at every stage with Jesus; I know it might sound uber corny but I can attest to it myself.
      There is so much fulfilment and joy to be had, even though you’re currently in a place where you’re frustrated when you’re doing life with Jesus.

    • @crypticii3431
      @crypticii3431 3 роки тому

      Look into investing in the stock market

    • @ryanb01
      @ryanb01 2 роки тому +26

      Odds are half your friends will be divorced in 20 years :)

  • @somethingnothing4430
    @somethingnothing4430 3 роки тому +221

    I once watched a video with Jordan Peterson about comparison and it brilliantly explains why it's pretty pointless to compare yourself/ your results to other's mainly because we all start out in different environments, have different reasons, different things had influenced us etc. It just is what it is nothing to feel unnecessarily ashamed about.
    And even if you do have a good reason to feel ashamed, know that it's kind of unavoidable to make mistakes so one should make it right, I guess. Just my opinion

    • @zavioxx8670
      @zavioxx8670 3 роки тому +3

      This reasoning is insufficient because it could lead to the conclusion life is meaningless + it is important to compare yourself if you are trying to compete in something because there, no one cares where you came from.

    • @enigma7385
      @enigma7385 3 роки тому +7

      @@zavioxx8670 What the comment above forgot to say is that Peterson actually said "Compare yourself to whom you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today". So it's not saying "I'm me and I'm ok and I have nothing to get better on." You identify what's better but to know where you are in that path you compare yourself with your own past. Not with someone else's present.

    • @zavioxx8670
      @zavioxx8670 3 роки тому +1

      That would be a sign of self improvement if you compare yourself to your previous self and get good results but my point is that isn't a measure to know if you reached required standards for a competition for example

    • @enigma7385
      @enigma7385 3 роки тому +4

      @@zavioxx8670 oh yes. Of course. You also have to imitate. So you look at others and see what you admire. What you value and strive to be that. But to know if you are progressing you don't watch them and go. "I'm not moving forward because I'm not there **right now**" you look at your past and know if you went forward or backwards.
      But yeah you have to have something outside of you to strive to that. To imitate and admire. But usually those are values, not other people.
      If you are in a competition you look at others to know how to play the game well not necessarily to play exactly like them.
      PS. *I* don't think life should be viewed as a competition against others. It is a competition with oneself. Nevertheless, there are aspects of life or things in life that are competitive. But that's my view.

    • @enigma7385
      @enigma7385 3 роки тому

      @@zavioxx8670 I read your message again. So you were actually making a difference between life in general and "games" (for lack of a better word)

  • @monocyte2210
    @monocyte2210 3 роки тому +8

    im 35, no regular job, debts, fat, married but without kids, no house ...
    THis video is very helpful. thanks thomas and all the best to your channel

    • @kunalshah7550
      @kunalshah7550 11 місяців тому

      Same here, have a few mild mental issues, anxiety, poor memory... Haven't been able to hold a steady job...

  • @WriteMeASong7
    @WriteMeASong7 2 роки тому +9

    One thing that keeps me from feeling regret is thinking like this: for example, if I met my husband in my 20s, I would’ve sabotaged that relationship because I was too immature to be in a real relationship hence why I’m very happy I met him in my 30s.
    Same goes for opportunities. I feel like sometimes certain things are held off for us simply because if those opportunities presented themselves too early on, we would’ve sabotaged them, not take them seriously, taken them for granted etc etc, and that would have a negative impact on us.
    I truly think timing is everything.

  • @RaceBannonChannel
    @RaceBannonChannel 2 роки тому +16

    I'm 68. I just left my 24-year corporate job. I've always done a lot of other things apart from my main job such as writing, community building, and I've had a couple of successful side businesses as well. Now I feel like I'm starting an entirely new chapter of my life and it's exciting. So, like you said, it's never too late to do new things.

  • @fuerteirena
    @fuerteirena 2 роки тому +2

    Sometimes it is too late. Especially when you’re not good at anything, you fail almost anything you start, you’re not motivated at all, your energy level is below zero and all you want it to pain to stop. Sometimes it’s too late

  • @ArthurYuill
    @ArthurYuill 2 роки тому +19

    Thanks for this man. I just failed my second semester of university, and I'm lost and depressed right now, and I'm in a really deep hole I need to get myself out of, but this is the message I need to hear right now

  • @Chronoxidex
    @Chronoxidex 3 роки тому +91

    When i'm in my 30's, i hear things from my age 26 friend that her circle, people are getting a car, becomes an architect, discussing what cars to get next, being a doctor or even getting married at a luxurious hotel. I'm like wtf, you serious? They don't struggles in their life or taking the wrong road? I'm working so hard and yet to master my craft. I couldn't even think of having a girlfriend or having a car because my finances and focus would have given away. (I bet most people who are grinding feels this)
    Today i'm 33, looking at my friends now, i realized all that social media bullshit my friends said in the past are just a lie. Sugar coated. They are at a mediocre position with just an average job & party day after day. What they said in the past is just for "ego" sake. I'm spending some of my money to learning while putting 1/3 of my salaries every month for investment & trading. It has been compounding.
    What i'm trying to say is, your results in the end will speak for you, you don have to speak out how much you work because the rest doesn't care.
    When you made it, people will ask how did you do it?! That's is when you shine my friend. Never too late. Just keep working & striving! Mad love.

    • @thatsfunny2051
      @thatsfunny2051 3 роки тому +12

      Sadly, you'll start to see a number of those marriages fold too. I'm a 31 yo single woman. Maybe that's not such a bad thing. Three of my friends who married in their twenties are now divorced.

    • @Chronoxidex
      @Chronoxidex 3 роки тому +9

      @@thatsfunny2051 100%. we need to have a certain maturity to choose the right partner & sustain relationship. Fast doesn't always mean better.

    • @bingchilling4573
      @bingchilling4573 2 роки тому +6

      Your story inspires me bro. I keep comparing myself to people from school and college and thinking I'm behind. I'm on my grind and my results don't seem as good as what I see on social media .

    • @Lee-Hayoung
      @Lee-Hayoung 2 роки тому +2

      @@Chronoxidex I agree. Even though I felt insecure, my mind kept ringing about my current age. I tried my best not to think too much.

  • @BearFruit90
    @BearFruit90 Рік тому +11

    lost like 5 years in my 20s due to debilitating mental illness. Now trying to build my life back, there is so much anxiety and stress of being behind my peers... but I was surprised to see so many people older than me in this comment section achieving things at later in life. This gives me a lot of strength! Thanks a lot

  • @DavidRamseyIII
    @DavidRamseyIII 3 роки тому +49

    This feeling never goes away. I got incredibly rich at 22 and at 31 I still feel behind

    • @nemzi8969
      @nemzi8969 2 роки тому +16

      really I am 23 I would say I got lot of money for my age but I feel left behind for socialing and in relationships

    • @krox477
      @krox477 Рік тому +1

      How did you got rich I'm broke af

  • @retrofuture1989
    @retrofuture1989 2 роки тому +17

    This is so true, many of the best in creative fields don't actually reach what is considered success until their 40s and 50s. We live long lives nowadays so it's important always continue the struggle and never give up. The end result should not matter but the journey and the process.
    "The struggle to the heights is enough to fill a man's heart." -Albert Camus

  • @catiedoane4276
    @catiedoane4276 3 роки тому +36

    I have pretty severe ADHD, I've been following your channel since I was about 14, struggling through my highschool classes. And although I have to manage my expectations, and maybe alter how I use your advice a little bit in order to get the most out of it, I really appreciate your channel and this video. You give me courage.

  • @SONIA-iz5ld
    @SONIA-iz5ld 3 роки тому +24

    That's exactly what i am feeling right now i just graduated collage and all the people i know are either getting married... travelling abroad.. Starting projects etc etc and here i am still lost i don't even know what i want to do with my life

  • @CrisTryingToBeProductive
    @CrisTryingToBeProductive 3 роки тому +7

    "I wish" and "what if" are phrases I removed from my vocabulary and my thoughts because I always recall the saying "the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second best time is today". I've tried a lot of stuff, dabbling into different interests. Whenever I feel ready to try something I just do it.

  • @cierragrove4745
    @cierragrove4745 3 роки тому +8

    I’m in community college for the first time at 30 years old, planning on getting a masters or PhD in a bio field. I will be at least 37 when I finish grad school. For 12 years I thought I couldn’t go to college because I was homeschooled and my parents really botched my education. I didn’t believe I would fit in or be capable in a formal schooling environment. That has changed. I feel like the world has opened up to me now that I’m in school. I’m much more stable at 30 and I’m getting great grades and can balance my school and personal life. I do sometimes feel “behind” but lately I’ve been focusing more on the fun opportunities in my life. My advice: be wise, but never let self-doubt be the reason you don’t try something.

  • @exploreformore3784
    @exploreformore3784 3 роки тому +27

    Brilliant video.... Starting out at 32 last year doing a surveying and spatial sciences degree meant that I had to start over again learning pre - college calculus. Before then I sailed all over the world working for the super wealthy. It has been the most humbling yet fulfilling time in my life. I've learned to drop my ego completely and to adopt a beginner's mind without realising it. The thing is I don't want to stagnate at all and will make sure I keep on studying well after I have completed the degree to ensure I have an adaptive mindset. The field I am studying is changing with new technology and I want to keep abreast of it to take advantage of it.

    • @beautifulday7528
      @beautifulday7528 3 роки тому +1

      Congrats on your new area of study! If you need to fund your college, get a ghost writer who will work for royalties...maybe a college student? And get all of those sailing stories down changing the names of the not so innocent. I am sure you have many interesting ones!

    • @exploreformore3784
      @exploreformore3784 3 роки тому

      @@beautifulday7528 Love the idea but I did sign a few confidentiality agreements for a few Russian oligarchs. But thanks for the reminder I should write down notes of my experiences so I can remember and pass it on in the future.

  • @NelCapeTown
    @NelCapeTown 3 роки тому +119

    I am feeling behind but I'm 53. Should definitely watch "How to stop Overthinking Everything" next.
    Struggling with constant sense of inadequacy resulting from anxiety disorder. It's challenging to be self confident when you have to expend a lot of energy convincing yourself that you're coping and delivering not only acceptable but high quality results. Almost like the body Dysmorphia that causes Anorexia which makes it appear that you are fatter than what you really are when you look in the mirror.

    • @nabilsyafiqjamaludin6847
      @nabilsyafiqjamaludin6847 2 роки тому +1

      Working out is essential for a man, builds self-confidence, gives more energy and overall health as he ages. Better late than never.
      'No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.'
      Socrates

    • @lexxihd5843
      @lexxihd5843 2 роки тому +3

      @@nabilsyafiqjamaludin6847 That wasn't his problem tho. It might help, but he didn't speak about that.

    • @arescue
      @arescue 2 роки тому +1

      I highly suggest guided meditation. I used to have this problem, I know how you feel. Ground, find the center of your head. Ignore the chatter in your mind because it’s not you, you are the awareness of the noise.

  • @DaelyPlays
    @DaelyPlays 3 роки тому +5

    You’re never late. You’re right on time.

  • @kikiuniki3406
    @kikiuniki3406 2 роки тому +39

    This was very encouraging, and definitely the motivation I needed to keep trying. I'm an aspiring author, in my early 30s and feeling like I missed the goal in my 20s. I've been writing since I was a child, (and never really stopped) but never actually pursued publishing until recently. Wish me luck! I'm gonna get out of my pity party and really put in the work.

    • @unm0vedm0ver
      @unm0vedm0ver 2 роки тому +2

      You got this!

    • @neski311
      @neski311 Рік тому

      Hey, may I read something from you? As long as you own the copyrights. Don't want no other person stealing your work.

  • @vonkunstler884
    @vonkunstler884 2 роки тому +4

    Thanks for this video. Turning 35 tomorrow and expanding my 2 side businesses while working a job. Wish me luck!

  • @ramonluquin2612
    @ramonluquin2612 3 роки тому +6

    I needed to hear this. I graduated with my EE at 27. 5 years late. My wife and I moved to the east coast and I currently work at NASA. Life is a crazy path of everything. This channel is amazing. Love your stuff

  • @adekurniawan1290
    @adekurniawan1290 3 роки тому +4

    I just came back from a friend's wedding ceremony. I kinda hate her because she betrayed me a few times. I just act kind with her because my friends are also her friends. Her wedding makes me feel behind because she who had hurt my feelings and destroyed my life, is having a good life, while I'm still making up for my life. Then this vid came and makes me feel better. Thank you

  • @adityajha3611
    @adityajha3611 2 роки тому +9

    I'm 22 and already got some regrets and feeling like I'm behind. But one thing is for sure, i ain't giving up. 😊

  • @GraveRave
    @GraveRave 3 роки тому +6

    I'm 34 still trying to get a design job, while working retail, Ive spent years in that job due to a lack of instruction, direction, my own laziness, depression, self doubt and lack of discipline. Being on UA-cam and watching po*n didn't help either, but I gotta knuckle down on my studies and I won't give up.
    Thanks Thomas this gives me hope that it's not too late for me to get my life on track.

    • @elianaharp5920
      @elianaharp5920 2 роки тому +1

      Keep at it! Study and get some experience (even if it’s just you making stuff for fun) it will take time but if you like doing it, that’s not a problem. Good luck!

  • @thezambianfiles
    @thezambianfiles Рік тому +1

    In academia, what predicts faculty productivity is publishing early. The earlier you start putting out papers, the better. Late bloomers tend to struggle and eventually exit competitive academic careers. I’m not sure whether this is true about other professions. But starting early is often a predictor of future success. In music, for example, you should have built a decent catalogue of music before your first major hit to be able to sustain newly found success. If not, you risk being a one-hit wonder. This is simply because you haven’t built the muscle. People who eventually succeed are those who have some kind of track record of consistency before the big break.

  • @Ahmed-yr8wb
    @Ahmed-yr8wb 3 роки тому +35

    God bless you man, i was about to live the most aweful rut in my life

  • @elkay7740
    @elkay7740 Рік тому +1

    i always find myself coming back to this video whenever I feel stuck

  • @cecisaia
    @cecisaia 3 роки тому +82

    I needed to hear that more than I had realized. Thanks, Thomas ❤️

  • @dsulabs
    @dsulabs 3 роки тому +5

    Feeling behind! the state every sensitive and thoughtful being is suffering from it. I am 35 years old, I have a PhD, and I have a job and I still feel left behind. I think its okay to feeling behind because its a driving force to move forward but its not okay if that feeling lead to depression.

  • @navedrizv
    @navedrizv 3 роки тому +34

    Being a new content creator, there are times when one gets the feel of "falling behind". This video is a great motivator.

    • @iDanielRoman
      @iDanielRoman 3 роки тому +1

      Trust me doing it for 5 years now and it's still hard and falling behind

    • @zavioxx8670
      @zavioxx8670 3 роки тому

      I trust that you can reach your goals if you take the write steps don't listen to people that say otherwise

    • @freesheep0
      @freesheep0 3 роки тому

      Ya, this market is terrible for new creators. Unless you have a unique format.

  • @alemayehudesta2744
    @alemayehudesta2744 2 роки тому +1

    After I Graduated in 2013, I had a dream job. I worked for 8 year till 2021, travelled to many countries as part of my job. In 2021, I was forced to leave the job I thought was a life career. In 2022, I migrated to another country & have start from the scratch again. I am 30 now & I am rebuilding myself in a new country & career. Strive where ever you are.

  • @randiggity
    @randiggity 3 роки тому +3

    I find this topic fascinating. I'm almost 50 yrs old, fairly in good shape but absolutely lost. I am an artist & it has been my passion for as long as I can remember but making any $ from it seems like a losing battle. Watching this video gives me hope in becoming a successful artist. Keep moving along, don't stop learning & keep moving forward.

  • @thibDave
    @thibDave Рік тому +2

    Definitely some very sound advice. I’ve fell victim to that “it’s too late…if only…” mindset for too many years. Now I. My fifties I am restructuring much of my life and paving new roads, roads I had wanted to travel years ago. 👍🏻

  • @RealJamieBarclay
    @RealJamieBarclay 3 роки тому +13

    People wish they started when they were younger because they view their past self as someone completely different to who they are now, so without realising it, the only reason they wish they started when they were younger Is because that way they could gain the skill without putting in the work.

  • @chickenlurkinyungchihuahua
    @chickenlurkinyungchihuahua 2 роки тому +2

    Remember guys, everyone is living in their own time zones, so are you. Yours may look bleak now but that’ll never be forever. Trust the process and you’ll bloom when it’s time.

  • @VoiceoverMomentum
    @VoiceoverMomentum 3 роки тому +27

    At age 61, I’ve felt this a few times. The key is, keep on doing it IF you love it. And always be learning something.

  • @KayTm1608
    @KayTm1608 Рік тому +1

    I am 43 yo, lives in Indonesia. I started to built my career at 19, from working as finance staff, then assistant manager, and the last was became a co- owner; for some decent companies. Now i stay at home, have some passive incomes. Eventho i dont do any office jobs in current, neither reached great success from it, but i think now in the greatest profession i ever have: sholawat reciter. 😊
    In my religion, if God gives a lot time to able to recite prayers, and also sholawat to prophet Muhammad, so its a very luxurious privilege. In my humble opinion, having peacefull life & mind is much better, than reach any successfull things valued by others' measurement. Stay in safe country, cozzy house, safe environment, have passive incomes, no illness, surrounded by beautiful & healthy children, and have lotta times to praise The Most Gracious & Most Merciful, is so worthy of gratitude. Alhamdulillah.

  • @mangaRoxo
    @mangaRoxo 3 роки тому +18

    I am 19 and haven't even started college yet . Was feeling so depressed thanks for this

  • @jamesbyrne9312
    @jamesbyrne9312 2 роки тому +2

    I am 37, trying to keep my business going, which I started last year. It's hard because as get older I feel pressed for time. Never even had a relationship yet due to tonnes of surgery during my 20s, leading to low confidence. Please pray that I succeed

  • @luismoreno7331
    @luismoreno7331 3 роки тому +22

    Thanks for this! We’re not alone!
    Small habits lead us to our big steps in life. But sometimes the road is hard and we isolate thinking we’re alone in this. I’ve never experienced this much “regret” for not doing things earlier, but it is important to take advantage of self awareness and make the proper life improvements to achieve what we really want in life without getting extra antsy about the future. Thanks, great video!

  • @rickieblu2598
    @rickieblu2598 2 роки тому +1

    Im 24, as of writing this i wasnt in a good place. my mind went down the deep end once again and made me think wow my classes and friends have graduated already, theyre successful now and here i am still in uni. i didnt failed highschool nor college. i just shifted to 3 different fields which i kinda of regret. and its nice to see these videos on my recommend, helps me to keep going.

  • @miladawolf8271
    @miladawolf8271 3 роки тому +4

    Beginner's mind! I always feel like I don't know enough so I never feel like a master of anything and I keep learning. It's uncomfortable but very rewarding.

  • @HJAlsubale
    @HJAlsubale 2 роки тому +2

    Thank you Thomas, i was talking with my mom about this subject and how I'm late for everything, she told me it's just in my head and I still can do what I want, and now I opened youtube and your video was the first video in the recommendations, thanks again.

  • @berryXjerry216
    @berryXjerry216 2 роки тому +5

    Graduated school last year and seeing all of my ex classmates on social media enjoying their college lives, while still living with my parents and struggling with mental health. Thank you for the video!!

  • @adamalouette1047
    @adamalouette1047 2 роки тому +1

    You know. Many times have I cursed the UA-cam gods catering me perfect video’s til the point of unease. But never was it more well-timed and needed like this one.

  • @magnum567134
    @magnum567134 Рік тому +24

    I've been realizing this lately, myself. My journey's a strange one so far. I graduated college 10 years ago with a degree in animation and never managed to get a foot in the door. A few years ago, I took up life drawing again and during the pandemic when everyone moved online, I kept up with the classes on Zoom. This gave me the chance to draw models from all over the world, specifically Argentina more than anywhere else.
    One of the models from Argentina has become someone very close to me, despite being in a different part of the world. She's helped me regain a lot of confidence in my art again. I did 4 art shows this year, selling several prints. She also shares my work all the time. My following has tripled this year, about a quarter of which is in Argentina.
    I currently have more eyes on my work than ever before. And I've seen how toxic the gaming industry, that I was so desperate to get into before, has become. I've seen that several people who I went to school with that got jobs right after graduation have been leaving the industry.
    I now realize that even though my journey didn't turn out how I thought it would, it is my own. I'm gonna get where I'm going my way

    • @vickyvansane5092
      @vickyvansane5092 Рік тому +1

      stories like these give me hope xD !
      I am happy for you :)

    • @magnum567134
      @magnum567134 Рік тому

      @@vickyvansane5092 Thank you! 😊

  • @brendalg4
    @brendalg4 3 роки тому +2

    The best video I have seen on this topic. Health issues aren't mentioned tho. I am 57. Nowhere in life. Chronic pain issues. No energy.

    • @insiderperson18279
      @insiderperson18279 3 роки тому

      What're your skills? Career history? What did you achieve so far?

  • @Leila2206
    @Leila2206 3 роки тому +3

    Im totaly in this stage now and needed to hear this so bad! Im 36 and feel, all my life is "gone", now covid is making my steps forward impossible, so I must wait another long period of time, that makes my dream come true even more difficult.

  • @MichaelJohnson-vi6eh
    @MichaelJohnson-vi6eh 2 роки тому +1

    Video is well timed. In the past 10 years (I am almost 55) I have more or less not been in control of life and just doing work that is given to me and going from one unfinished project to the next because I do not know how to make use of other people's help. I dont make enough money to pay for peoples help and I havent really felt like I had anything to exchange.

  • @CBMX_GAMING
    @CBMX_GAMING 3 роки тому +69

    I feel this way about dating. Most of my friends have been actively dating for many years and I just haven't for one reason or another. Really makes me feel behind, especially when high school and college are touted as this time that everyone blossoms and gets into romantic relationships- and that getting into them afterward is much harder.

    • @The.sun.chaser
      @The.sun.chaser 3 роки тому +17

      I feel the opposite of you. I dated all through highschool and I wish i would have just focused on friends and fun.

    • @nelsonjoppi
      @nelsonjoppi 3 роки тому +15

      I feel the same bro, I'm in college almost graduating, but had almost none contact with girls cause I'm very socially awkward, it's very stressfull and sad

    • @DAMfoxygrampa
      @DAMfoxygrampa 3 роки тому

      You guys gotta watch some Toddv and start a tinder asap. Optimize your profile and game with his advice and go date some girls!

    • @savanabanana
      @savanabanana 3 роки тому +10

      I remember feeling this way! I didn't start dating until the very end of college, and for me, I didn't realize I was asexual until that time either; I had tons of passing romantic interest in people, but nothing like what I saw among my peers with sexual interest. (Not to say that you're ace lmao, just my own experience!) I remember venting to a friend about how I just wanted someone who met my standards and wondering if I was somehow setting the bar too high when I felt like it was already at the very basics, and my friend reassured me that all I was asking for was someone with a good head on their shoulders. I felt like maybe something was wrong with *me* and that was why I wasn't finding the type of people I was seriously interested in.. but I ended up finding my first & current boyfriend on bumble after focusing on working on myself and not particularly looking to date - just to strike up conversations with new people during the beginning of lockdown! Like the video essentially said, late is relative to who you're comparing yourself to -- I was 22 when I first started this relationship, which seems later than many but certainly not compared to people who start at the end of their twenties, thirties, or beyond.
      I know it can feel really lonely when everyone around you is in relationships and you feel left out of the experience, and that's hard. It's okay to feel however you do about it, to talk and journal about it to judge yourself less for not already having the result you want. I'm sure it'll come at the right time for you, and it can help to strengthen your friendships and relationship with yourself in the meantime to find fulfillment in your existing relationships! I feel like making relationships after college is harder or easier relative to how you socialized while in school, like how often you struck up conversations with people around you or actively sought out clubs and activities based around a shared interest; it's similar-ish post-college in that regard (at least in my experience, as someone who mainly socialized only when other people started interactions with me), but you do have to actively put yourself into social situations and convince yourself to start chatting with random people now that college no longer provides the environment that encouraged it. It's not impossible, but you do have to put in the effort to create the relationships and life you want for yourself; go at your own pace though, and things will fall into place as you go :)

    • @CBMX_GAMING
      @CBMX_GAMING 3 роки тому +1

      @@savanabanana thank you for your cool reply, thanks a lot!

  • @antoniaosborne4972
    @antoniaosborne4972 2 роки тому +1

    Behind is not something I can consider
    I’m now 35. I am trying to start a business myself as a nutritionist. I have just moved back out from my parents but can’t even afford it yet. I am single and have no friends - have had 15 years out through anorexia.
    I’m reversing osteoporosis and learning how to interact with other people - whilst taking care of myself! It’s all very new.
    Feeling behind is something I can’t consider anymore coz it makes me feel so so bad - and even reading this - everyone on here is 10 years longer
    Although I felt like this at 22 too!
    Focus on the gratitude I say and definitely don’t focus on other people.
    And surround yourself with people you can learn from and inspire you to be the best you can be and not be concerned about whether you are “behind” or what anyone else is doing.

  • @BulletBill51
    @BulletBill51 3 роки тому +7

    Thank you for this video. I am currently a medical school applicant for the current application cycle and I just completed an interview yesterday with a school I had my heart set on. One of the interviews did not go as expected and it got me on a dark spiral thinking about how long it has been in this journey so far and how much longer it can be if I do not get accepted this cycle. I am a few years out from graduating from undergrad and I’m a bit older than most applicants I have been encountering. I have a tendency to think this is a weakness in my application but this video came in at the right time for me. Never have commented on your videos before but have been watching now for years. You channel has been instrumental in this journey so far.

    • @beautifulday7528
      @beautifulday7528 3 роки тому +1

      I hear being an older applicant may even be in your favor. Keep going!

  • @stevebob240
    @stevebob240 2 роки тому +1

    This is helpful, I remember even at 20 I felt like I had missed out on life. A few years later I'm working hard to achieve my goals. Life is short, that's true, but life is also longer than you might think. I and everyone else watching hopefully still has a while to go, plenty of time to achieve what you're capable of.

  • @Matthew-li7we
    @Matthew-li7we 2 роки тому +4

    Thanks for the video. I turned 28 a month ago and it really gets me down thinking I have spent the last decade on and off of attending a community college and 5-6 different jobs with really nothing to show for it. Usually I am pretty upbeat about it and don't let it get to me, but sometimes it really just hits you hard.

    • @AustinSchrock
      @AustinSchrock 2 роки тому +1

      Thank you for this comment. It's a good reminder to stick with it. You got this bro

  • @MAM-pd9mx
    @MAM-pd9mx 3 роки тому +1

    I’m 76 years old. Just starting high school. Appreciate the info.

  • @lordofoblivion
    @lordofoblivion 3 роки тому +27

    This came out right when I needed it. Thank you.

  • @mrmomin4606
    @mrmomin4606 Рік тому +1

    in terms of soccer/football heres an example. Although you do have Kylian Mbappe and Leo Messi who have started playing pro at like ages 15 or 16. Jamie Vardy was playing for a semi pro team at 23 and at 28 he signed for Leicester City in the premier league and in 2016 he and Leicester City won the premier league. I hope this example helped!

  • @thatsfunny2051
    @thatsfunny2051 3 роки тому +3

    I'm 31, single, childless, and lockdowns cost me my job and savings, but for some reason I am surprisingly chill about it. If I were 25, I think I would be panicking. I think the reason that I'm okay with it is because I've been through things like this before and I seem to work it out.

  • @ITJoe17
    @ITJoe17 3 роки тому +2

    Comparison is the thief of joy!
    Keep going and never give up on yourself!

  • @ardiris2715
    @ardiris2715 3 роки тому +11

    Beginner's mind - At age 50, I hit the used book sites and bought many of my grade school and high school textbooks. A good quarter of what I thought I remembered from those texts was wrong.
    Things get fun when you start delegating the delegating.
    (:

    • @MA-th4ts
      @MA-th4ts 3 роки тому

      What else did you find differentiated from today books. That sounds like an interesting concept. Good share.

  • @seanpe8474
    @seanpe8474 Рік тому +1

    As someone who did well in school and uni, but towards graduation kind of just... dropped off, a video like this helps a lot. I was surrounded by and made friends with the type of highly successful you want to be around, but in my junior/senior year I kinda just let myself go.

  • @DougeeDJ
    @DougeeDJ Рік тому

    Thank you for this, Thomas. I'm 61 this year and have been suffering from this thinking for a few years now. I'm making the change today. Once again, you are an amazing teacher and I appreciate you. Thanks again!

    • @missedmyself
      @missedmyself Рік тому +1

      I’m 25 and feel the same way for the past few years. I feel like I’m too old to learn anything new

  • @FULLSENDBRETT
    @FULLSENDBRETT 2 роки тому +8

    This video helped me out a lot man. I just need to keep perspective, sounds silly but I'm 24. I see so many people my age absolutely crushing it in every area of life and although I am genuinely happy for them it makes me feel like I'm not doing as much as I can.

  • @AlisonReacts
    @AlisonReacts 2 роки тому +1

    I came here expecting nothing, expecting to leave the video rolling my eyes,
    But I actually really needed to hear all of this.
    I guess if we take care of ourselves we can think of it as if we were given more time to figure things out. Iike it’s a gift of extra time. But only if we take care of ourselves to ensure we can live as long as possible I guess.
    Thank you.

  • @Fonch117
    @Fonch117 3 роки тому +6

    And Samuel L. Jackson didn't become really famous until he was in his 40's. Just shows how it's never too late to reach success. Thanks for the inspiration Thomas!

  • @LucyHowlter
    @LucyHowlter 2 роки тому

    What are the odds that I would stumble across this channel during a time I have to spent at home, because of being burnt out from my job.
    I was always good at my job - very disciplined, organized, helpful, etc.
    I even carried some of it into my free time by learning a new language all by myself for example.
    But I never felt truly happy in my job. I never felt like accomplished "enough" in life.
    Yes, I have a great salary. No, I do not have any money problems. Am I happy? Absolutely not.
    Am I too terrified to start something new? To give up on something secure just to end up with nothing?
    Absolutely.
    And those thoughts also brought with them the feeling of being "behind" everyone else. It seems to me that all of my friends have found "their path" in life so much earlier and easier than I have.
    I hope this video can get my head and heart in the right direction and help me get started on something new (and big / life changing).
    I promise to come back to this very comment in a couple of years, to show my future self where my new life has started.

  • @Herberberber
    @Herberberber Рік тому +6

    24: Video game addict, broke, sad
    34: Degree in Finance, 140k job

  • @laraprudencio8337
    @laraprudencio8337 3 роки тому +10

    What a great video! Thomas is, definitely, my favourite youtuber! I think the "I'm too late" mindset is a great form of procrastination. It doesn't solve anything. We need to believe in ourselves and work really hard in order to achieve our goals!

  • @fajita2
    @fajita2 Рік тому +1

    I was an actor for 9 years after college. Pandemic hit and I went back to grad school to study documentary film. I’m 34 now, hope to finish next year, and I’ve made a few films and had some decent successes, but I generally feel like it picked this up way late in life and wished I had started sooner. I also work a full-time job which pays my bills but is not very fulfilling nor very related to my creative pursuits. I’ve always pursued uncertain creative careers and often felt a lot of doubt and even guilt about it sometimes, so I can relate to that Instagram post. But I know from many people’s experiences that there is still so much growing to do and so many opportunities ahead, and that, at my age, I still have a chance to start living the kind of life I’d always aspired to have.

  • @CeliaCavalli
    @CeliaCavalli 2 роки тому +3

    Love this video!
    Its NEVER too late for anyone.
    Whatever your dream is work hard at it, keep the passion & you can do anything in life.
    Go with your natural talents.

  • @ricovelas
    @ricovelas 2 роки тому

    This is much needed. I can't tell you how many times i scrolled through social media in the past few years and feelndown because I come across list, that I know are bull, saying you must have x,y, and z by the time your 30.
    I'm not bad off but I'm not where I want to be but getting there. It's good to know others who have taken the "scenic route" are just as successful as those who took the interstates.

  • @iDanielRoman
    @iDanielRoman 3 роки тому +10

    Man this is how I have been feeling this last bit of the year. From seeing my friends getting married, already have better jobs than me, my little brother already starting a family. While I'm stuck behind and not moving forward. My channel not growing and seeing other content creators who just started pass me. Really needed this. thanks

  • @phoenixbyrd79
    @phoenixbyrd79 2 роки тому +2

    Best way to not feel behind in life, don't compare your life to others and live in the present moment. Be mindful of your present self and be grateful for the little things this present moment affords you. Life isn't about money. What you acquire today is only material and all will be lost in death. Enjoy your life as it's the only one you get.

  • @uboxtech
    @uboxtech 2 роки тому +2

    me being a 20 years old watching this video boosted my confidence, thanks man✨

  • @lmusima3275
    @lmusima3275 2 роки тому +6

    There’s no end to learning. It’s an infinite process. Avoid listening to naysayers who tell you it’s too late. They’ve decided what’s late for themselves so they have no business setting this limit on you.

  • @stevec404
    @stevec404 2 роки тому

    Mindset modification becomes more difficult when it is finally revealed to that mind that childhood trauma has negatively shaped ones every thought. CPTSD can be slowly and patiently healed...yet it invariably leaves behind sorrow and regrets for a life less lived. Making every effort to fill those voids with today's positive thoughts and accomplishments will eventually bring peace. To your point, while none of us can know our ultimate fate, or timeline on this earth...the days we have now are the ones that can make a difference.
    Now in my mid seventies, I will be starting a new business venture with all of the benefits of having a roadmap of past failures to keep me from repeating them! Thank you. Subscribed.