Nurse Zabe! I wanted you to know that you very well may have saved my life, some heavy stuff, I know. But because I watched your video on possible complications after giving birth, I was able to realize that I had developed postpartum pre-eclampsia and went to the ER in time for them to get on a Magnesium drip. Scary times but I came out of it with no issues. So, thank God and than you!!
Because of your freezer meal video, we decided to do that too! I went into labor the day we bought the stuff before we could make them 😅 Luckily I have a great MIL who prepared them when she came to help!
This is such an important topic to talk about. I wish I had known how impossible the 4th trimester would be. I saw the labor and birth as an end point to the “hard” stuff… I was completely unprepared… and was hit with horrible postpartum depression and awful pain from the tearing… I have never been so sad, so hopeless in my whole life. I didn’t feel like a human again until 4-5 months. I think I’d want another baby at some point, but I’m not sure I’d survive that postpartum period again. I had a hard pregnancy and labor/delivery… so I thought once I came home with my baby it would be uphill from there, but it just went spiraling down. If I do ever have another baby, I would set up SO much help for myself for when I got home… meals prepped, daily therapy set up, friends assigned to check up on me daily and help clean and feed me, etc…
As a mom to 4, the best advice I can give you is don't rush yourself. My first 3 were each exactly 2 years apart. 1 kids to 2 was difficult. By my 3rd one, I was a pro and prepared. It ended up taking nearly 4 years for us to get pregnant with our 4th baby. I felt rusty going in but I thoroughly enjoyed the older kids being more independent. I was able to focus on baby when needed and then shift my attention to the older ones once she was taken care of. I didn't let guilt get to me. I will say my last pregnancy was the most uncomfortable. I'd normally thoroughly enjoy the 2nd and 3rd trimesters but I was in so much pain. She was a VBA2C and my most painful recovery. I felt disconnected after she was born. (I've still not admitted that to anyone 8 years later.) It took time. We just survived for a little while and that's ok. You've got this, mama. Don't let anyone (including yourself) pressure you into something you're not ready for.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the labor and birth that you don’t realize what big chances are still in store for you on the other side. I’m so sorry postpartum was so difficult for you.
I hear you about the postpartum depression and working through the pain of a traumatic tear! I'm five months postpartum now and you're bang on with the time frame of starting to feel better, physically and mentally. Hoping your next labour, if you make the decision to have another go, is much kinder, and therefore I hope that reflects in your postpartum journey!
No Barbara! 😂 I had some random lady at the museum tell me “enjoy it now, you’ll miss it when they’re all grown up” and I know she was just trying to be helpful… but while my 3yr old was having a meltdown and the baby was fussy and I just wanted to get my giant awkward double stroller into the elevator and go find my car but my toddler didn’t want to because somebody already pushed the button and she wanted to wait for the next elevator so she could push it, it was not helpful at all. Would’ve been better off just saying nothing at all or saying “I remember those days, I know how hard it can be” or something along those lines would’ve been a lot more helpful.
This was so helpful!!! I didn't start to feel like myself until my kiddo turned about 4 months. The first 3 months were so incredibly hard. I wondered if I made the right choice to have a baby. It was so life changing. The learning curve was much, much bigger than I thought. Glad I'm not alone.
I watched a lot of your videos to prepare before I gave birth, and now I am going back through them to help cope with the postpartum period. Showers are definitely self-care at the moment! Thank you for sharing all of this. It helps us new mums to feel less lost!
Thank you for making this video! It helps me to feel more confident about having another kid, eventually. I'm not quite in a place where I don't feel anxious about it though, because the first time around was a very dark time, from the moment my husband said he wanted me to get used to doing it on my own (still haven't fully forgiven him for that), and I know any subsequent kids will most likely be a repeat of that. But this has given me a lot of good ideas and resources for how to take care of myself and get the help that I need no matter what. I do feel encouraged and supported just from seeing this, so thank you, thank you, thank you! 😊
I'm 40+2 with my first.. I live in South Africa but decided to come back home to West Africa for the birth and "4th trimester". It was a tough decision for me and my partner but being around my mom and aunts is the best option.. Although I miss my partner more than anything, I also know that I would've probably gone crazy trying to care for a newborn mostly on my own
Thank you SO much for this video! I’m currently sitting with my cluster feeding 3 week old in my arms at the moment, totally sleep deprived, totally overwhelmed, and I really really needed this. You are amazing ❤️
OMG....I needed to hear your last minute or so about not loving every moment. I struggle with this so much even 10+ months in (tearing up as I write this). I love my twins but with having two, there was no time for rotation if either of wanted sleep or to eat. We did it all together and still do for the most part though it's getting easier. I wish we had more support, parental leave, and someone to tell us the things you mentioned throughout the video. We just didn't have that kind of village. Thank you so very much for your videos and honesty. The things you mentioned here and in previous videos are the reasons I am getting my Masters in public health....to help create policy to get families through the perinatal part of life with all the tools and resources possible! 💕
I remember crying 2-3 nights postpartum with my first baby thinking about how hard it would be to have 2 small babies and/or twins. Now I’m 39+2 with my second. (Baby #1 is 2 in December).
In the middle of fourth trimester still but I really wish this video had existed for me in the beginning! Will definitely refer people to this, because it is so true, especially about the 4 hour segment making you feel like a new person and talking out some basic plans with partner beforehand! The tip about having everything within reach of bed is something I'll use now!
My baby is 3 months old. I love your videos and they helped me a lot to prepare for labor and post-partum and in my pregnancy. Thank you! It makes me realise though how easy it has been for me, I didn't have any of the issues you mentioned a part from being tired for the first couple of weeks, I was back in shape very soon and my baby's healthy and calm. And I'm grateful ❤️ It was definately good to have all this information before to be able to prepare mentally but it made me anxious about post-partum, more than I needed to be. I definately regret having my mom over 'to help' 😅. I would rather spend this Time alone with my baby and husband.
It's worth saying that you almost never know when you are depressed. You just are - it's your whole world. Setting up checkup systems is a very, very good idea. Even just a very simple mood diary with three things: How do I feel today? (scale of 1-10 or 1-5 or whatever pleases you); How hopeful am I? (scale); How anxious am I? (scale). If you want to get fancy add What am I looking forward to? (It's ok if your answer is one word, or nothing, or whatever - your mood diary is a judgement free space). If these scales stay under the half way point consistently, call your medical provider.
I can’t tell you thank you enough for sharing this video. I’ve been getting 3 hours of sleep every 24 hours and I’m on E. I’m going to work towards getting a 4 hour stretch and accepting help.
I wish you would touch on postpartum struggles beyond 3 months. I know this video is just about the 4th trimester but my LO is almost 7 months and I am struggling, she's not sleeping well and my mental health is struggling and I feel like I should have it all figured out by now because I made it through the first 3 months.
I wish someone had emphasized to me the importance of that 4 hr sleep segment to my mental health and my ability to care for myself and my baby. So here I am telling other mamas, My partner supplemented my breast feeding with formula feeds to allow me to sleep 4 hrs in a row. I worked with a lactation specialist to help me minimize impact to my supply and support our breast feeding + bottle feeding journey. It took my kid 4 months to sleep 3 hrs straight. I could NOT have made it without the 4 hr sleep segments. I just wish I’d spent less time feeling awful and guilty for needing more sleep; no one had told me the research on sleep segment lengths until I found it a really hard month or so into parenthood.
Sleep is so important and such an big thing we can control in our mental health. I honestly am not always getting 4 hour chunks right now and it’s tough!
You've inspired me to add formula to the shopping list. I don't know the last time I would have had 4 hours of sleep in a row. I'm so scared to impact my milk supply but perhaps we can use formula to just give me that little space to start pumping - currently I struggle to pump much extra milk at all because my baby seems to drink it all. Would you be happy to share a couple of tips on how to avoid impacting supply when using a little formula? I would plan to pump to replace the formula fed session, but don't have any ideas beyond that.
Can you snag an appt with an IBCLC or at least a nurse with lactation training? They could help with paced bottle feeding, pumping technique and timing, and any other concerns to help you specifically meet your personal goals for feeding your baby.
I just had baby #6 on Sunday. He was my sixth planned home birth and unfortunately he had shoulder dystocia and him humerus was broken in order for him to be delivered. It has definitely altered our postpartum rest, since we’ve been going back and forth to the ER and orthopedist to get him taken care of. I treasure my blissful skin to skin postpartum week of lying in bed so much but it isn’t meant to be this time, and I’ve struggled with that quite a lot. Thank you for this video! 💕
I had my beautiful baby 7 weeks ago and I used so many tips and tricks I learned from you over my pregnancy! I appreciate you opinions and experiences so much! The hospital bag videos were definitely the most helpful 🥰 For freezer meals, breakfasts burritos were wonderful!
I was so so lucky and thankful since my mom also happens to be a nurse that used to workye postpartum before getting into working of working in an elderly daycare then rcfe facility of her own for both she was not only there inside my delivery when I delivered my son vaginally back in 2018 and then stayed with us almost a month just during the weekdays. This helped me to recovery and get settled into parenthood. The first year was rough and then toddler years have been easier than the baby year. I don't know how I would have survived if it wasn't for her there for both of us. My husband has never been around babies only toddlers as he is an early ed teacher like I am expect I have been around lots of babies.
Your hair is so cute! Makes me want to cut my hair. 😊 my newest baby is 4 months old! This video was nice to see. It’s so easy to be hard on yourself as a mom but this was a nice reminder. 💕
Yeeees, I was going to comment about the hair cut. Gorgeous, lady!! :) :) My newbie is 3 months this week. Freezer meals were so great. We had such a weird crapstorm of life things happening at the same time after baby was born, and it was a boon. You just don't know what life will throw at you.
So honest and real, postpartum is hard I'm about to give birth to my 4th and I wish someone had told me everything you just explained so wonderfully when I was having my 1st!
My first postpartum experience rocked my world lol in the WORST way. Cried every day, was sleep deprived, angry, etc. Due with my 2nd in 11 weeks and really hoping this time goes smoother
Oh my golly!! I wish I could have watched this 5 months ago. 4 hours per night would have be hard to do but maybe possible. Definitely would have saved my sanity! And I loved the last part about not feeling guilty. Thanks so much for those encouraging words.
My pp anxiety was so high, I could barely accept help from my husband. I couldn’t calm my brain enough to sleep. Having him understand and just sit beside me while he held the baby so that if I jerked awake in a panic so I could see the baby was okay, definitely helped
Hey zabe :) Just wanted to say THANK YOU! For making this video, I am having my third baby in August some time, and as it has been quite a few years between little ones so I am feeling much like a brand new mum! I also had and raised my first two kids on my own (no help or support person) and this time I have a partner! Yay (he’s great) but reiterating that it Is okay to ask your partner for help and have the conversations early is something that I am going to use and apply :) Your are a gem at what you do - Much love from Australia 🇦🇺 ❤️👶🏼🍼
Yes to all the points and to avoid it esp in the winter so for my second I’m going out more.. for drives or shopping or even a mani pedi! Mental health is so important! Xx
Thank you SOOO much Elizabeth for this encouragement. Sometimes I feel I am the only momma not enjoying evefy moment. PP is so incredibly hard especially with a 2 year old toddler running around. I never imagined it would be this difficult. Sending big hugs all the way from German winter....
If I have another baby I will set up mental health check ins beforehand with family, friends, and a therapist. I was completely blindsided with my second by PPA and the huge withdrawal that came with it. I knew what was happening and I couldn’t tell anyone. Next time I will ask them for help in advance.
Not everyone has this luxury, but I’ve been pumping twice a night while my husband takes the night shift with babe, from about 10pm until 7 am. I can get up twice when I naturally do to pump and not wake up much. And babe still feeds four or five times in that stretch, but two pumps is more than enough to cover these feeds. And she doesn’t sleep that great still, at ten weeks old. I started doing this four weeks postpartum, when it was safer to be pumping regularly to not mess up my supply. Life improved dramatically after this, and also when babe could just start taking bottles of breastmilk, so I could just pump with my wearable pump, and get chores done or have a break.
Thank you for making this video! Currently 7 weeks pp and definitely needed to hear some of this today. I loved my Wumblekin boxes during pregnancy and postpartum. Baby wearing in my Moby as we speak and would love a video on breastfeeding with a wrap!!!
Thank you so much for all your videos! Thanks to you I've been able to really talk with my partner about the whole topic. A couple we are friends with is pregnant, they will be having the baby in May. We on the other hand are not sure yet if we want to have kids. The information you provide is really helpfull in understanding how things will work exactly. I know if I'm having kids it will be very hard for me as I am very sensitive to pain. I know it would be hard for him too, but in another way. He always wants to protect me and does everything he can if I'm feeling even the slightest discomfort. Up until a few days ago he thought the only things he could do in this time would be being there, maybe holding my hand and trying not to faint. For him knowing that he actively can do things to help and contribute is huge. And I know that with him I have a partner at my side that would do great with all of that. For now it is just great to know where to turn to for quality information on the topic!
I needed this video so much! I'm about to have my 4th baby the week after Christmas (scheduled c-section) and I'm not concerned about my hospital bag or what my newborn needs. I've got those covered but the postpartum period totally sucks. Thanks for this.
My due date is today; my OB scheduled me for an induction if I don't go into labor by next week, and I feel so exhausted, defeated, and discouraged with my body. I'm 4cm dilated, 80% effaced, and have had every early labor sign there is, but no actual labor yet. At the moment, I would take every hard part of postpartum over waiting another week to have this baby.
I totally feel this! It’s so hard to go past your due date. The good news: your body is already super ready to have a baby. So when it happens, it’ll happen!
I wish I knew that my partner would be doing less. If I knew this, I would have changed my expectations and it would have made the 4th trimester much easier. Please ladies, ask for help BC many times men don't understand what is needed and it can be overwhelming thinking that they should know but they don't have the same instincts that mothers may have. Mental health is very important in the 4th trimester. Please reach out to other mothers and forums and feel free to vent. Most mothers experience the same emotions during the postpartum period and the aloofness of the partner. You are not alone mother, don't be embarrassed. Speak up!
I feel that shade at people who throw things away 😂 We moved when my baby was about 1.5 weeks, and my mother and sister are notorious "this looks like I can throw it out" people. But this time, on top of that, my brother-in-law somehow managed to lose a box. Still no idea how that happened.
How do we get a 4 hr stretch of sleep when baby wants to nurse every 2hrs or less😢 this is a great video, thank you! I am currently 3 weeks postpartum and can relate to so much! Brushing my teeth has definitely been on the back burner.... I have been watching the show Little Men during night feedings😊 Also I am terrified of getting pregnant again and having another baby close together 😮 praying that my period won't return for at least 6 months since I am exclusively breastfeeding
I never knew how important a shower was for self care until I had a C-section and was made to shower every day. Having that few moments to myself released so much anxiety and tension. I was more present with my son after my shower and was less snappy with my husband.
I am 38 and pregnant with my first. I am scared about the post partum stage and not the labor. All my friends have teenagers. No other new moms to go through this with.
I would love a wrap wearing video! I've attempted to wear little man once before but I was so paranoid about tying it too loose that I tied it too tight.
Love this video! Your hair, the honey pot pads (I discovered them when I gave birth last year), the booty jacuzzi... I wish I had seen it 14 months ago but will definitely pull it out whenever we have baby #2 🥰
The first month after my emergency c section me and my partner were in basically survival mode. Our baby was in the NICU an hour & a half away for 1 month. She’s been home for 2 weeks & it’s been such a breath of fresh air. But now it seems like some depression is setting in. 😕 Thank you so much for this video! These are great tips.
I wish they had a c section box. Or postpartum without a bunch of baby stuff. We are planning a c section for my sister and I was going to order one for a gift but the amount of money for a loooooot of vaginal birth supplies and an uneeded bottle and moby wrap that she already has. And you cant remove items or anything. The last thing a mom needs is a bunch of doubles to sell 😩😬 they have a lot of work to do I think still. Im not sure what they were like before but just the mention that they got more expensive just makes me feel like they added a tonne of extra junk to up the price.
I think a C-section is really good feedback that I will pass along. I was thinking it would be nice if you could send items back if you had a different birthday and you were expecting. Because I agree that it can be frustrating to get all these vaginal delivery items and then have a cesarean birth. Previously they had a box for each trimester but they combined it into a single pregnancy box, postpartum box and labor box. I will definitely pass the feedback along!
I’m freshly out out the 4th trimester ( baby just turned 3 months) and for the first week I slept maaaybe a total of an hour? I didn’t even get one minute in the first 3 days in the hospital I felt like I’m having an out of body experience. I couldn’t even have anyone watch my baby because I was too scared they will drop her and needed to watch her at all times so sleep wasn’t an option
So I'm planning on trying to get pregnant when my nexplonon expires next year. I have my nipples and clit hood pierced I've been told by some people that I wont be able to beast feed due to them and that birth will be more difficult. Anyone else have piercings
So I am a week off from having my 3rd baby and I have formula feed my other two, but recently I keep getting advertisements for lawsuit stuff for some formula causing NEC is this true and is there a formula you would recommend if so or is it something that is not true?
Formula causing NEC is more the case for premature babies. My understanding is that it’s most important to use the sterile bottle water they sell by the gallon than the formula. Breastmilk is easier on the tummy in general, and that makes the most difference in premature and sick babies.
Currently in the 4th trimester, and I never anticipated how little I'd be able to do. I feel rather useless (even though I know caring for my son is the most important thing I could do), and I feel guilty for asking my husband to do so much.
Nurse Zabe! I wanted you to know that you very well may have saved my life, some heavy stuff, I know. But because I watched your video on possible complications after giving birth, I was able to realize that I had developed postpartum pre-eclampsia and went to the ER in time for them to get on a Magnesium drip. Scary times but I came out of it with no issues. So, thank God and than you!!
Oh wow! So proud of you for advocating for your health! I hope you are feeling better.
Because of your freezer meal video, we decided to do that too! I went into labor the day we bought the stuff before we could make them 😅 Luckily I have a great MIL who prepared them when she came to help!
Yay for your MIL!!
This is such an important topic to talk about. I wish I had known how impossible the 4th trimester would be. I saw the labor and birth as an end point to the “hard” stuff… I was completely unprepared… and was hit with horrible postpartum depression and awful pain from the tearing… I have never been so sad, so hopeless in my whole life. I didn’t feel like a human again until 4-5 months. I think I’d want another baby at some point, but I’m not sure I’d survive that postpartum period again. I had a hard pregnancy and labor/delivery… so I thought once I came home with my baby it would be uphill from there, but it just went spiraling down. If I do ever have another baby, I would set up SO much help for myself for when I got home… meals prepped, daily therapy set up, friends assigned to check up on me daily and help clean and feed me, etc…
As a mom to 4, the best advice I can give you is don't rush yourself.
My first 3 were each exactly 2 years apart. 1 kids to 2 was difficult. By my 3rd one, I was a pro and prepared. It ended up taking nearly 4 years for us to get pregnant with our 4th baby. I felt rusty going in but I thoroughly enjoyed the older kids being more independent. I was able to focus on baby when needed and then shift my attention to the older ones once she was taken care of. I didn't let guilt get to me.
I will say my last pregnancy was the most uncomfortable. I'd normally thoroughly enjoy the 2nd and 3rd trimesters but I was in so much pain. She was a VBA2C and my most painful recovery. I felt disconnected after she was born. (I've still not admitted that to anyone 8 years later.) It took time. We just survived for a little while and that's ok.
You've got this, mama. Don't let anyone (including yourself) pressure you into something you're not ready for.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the labor and birth that you don’t realize what big chances are still in store for you on the other side. I’m so sorry postpartum was so difficult for you.
I hear you about the postpartum depression and working through the pain of a traumatic tear! I'm five months postpartum now and you're bang on with the time frame of starting to feel better, physically and mentally. Hoping your next labour, if you make the decision to have another go, is much kinder, and therefore I hope that reflects in your postpartum journey!
Loved your message at the end about not feeling guilty for not enjoying every moment. A lot of mommas need to hear that 💕
I needed to hear it too. 💗
No Barbara! 😂
I had some random lady at the museum tell me “enjoy it now, you’ll miss it when they’re all grown up” and I know she was just trying to be helpful… but while my 3yr old was having a meltdown and the baby was fussy and I just wanted to get my giant awkward double stroller into the elevator and go find my car but my toddler didn’t want to because somebody already pushed the button and she wanted to wait for the next elevator so she could push it, it was not helpful at all. Would’ve been better off just saying nothing at all or saying “I remember those days, I know how hard it can be” or something along those lines would’ve been a lot more helpful.
I think what people are saying is that they miss having little babies. Because they’ve totally forgotten all the hard parts 😅
This was so helpful!!! I didn't start to feel like myself until my kiddo turned about 4 months. The first 3 months were so incredibly hard. I wondered if I made the right choice to have a baby. It was so life changing. The learning curve was much, much bigger than I thought. Glad I'm not alone.
I watched a lot of your videos to prepare before I gave birth, and now I am going back through them to help cope with the postpartum period. Showers are definitely self-care at the moment! Thank you for sharing all of this. It helps us new mums to feel less lost!
Thank you for making this video! It helps me to feel more confident about having another kid, eventually. I'm not quite in a place where I don't feel anxious about it though, because the first time around was a very dark time, from the moment my husband said he wanted me to get used to doing it on my own (still haven't fully forgiven him for that), and I know any subsequent kids will most likely be a repeat of that. But this has given me a lot of good ideas and resources for how to take care of myself and get the help that I need no matter what. I do feel encouraged and supported just from seeing this, so thank you, thank you, thank you! 😊
I'm 40+2 with my first.. I live in South Africa but decided to come back home to West Africa for the birth and "4th trimester".
It was a tough decision for me and my partner but being around my mom and aunts is the best option.. Although I miss my partner more than anything, I also know that I would've probably gone crazy trying to care for a newborn mostly on my own
Being with family that helps is so important! I’m glad you have that options.
Thank you SO much for this video! I’m currently sitting with my cluster feeding 3 week old in my arms at the moment, totally sleep deprived, totally overwhelmed, and I really really needed this. You are amazing ❤️
Omg, we binged the Office during the 4th trimester!! It was my goal yo finish it before I went back to work. Mission Accomplished!
Love the office!!
Such an amazing video!✨
I have baby tips on my channel too, and this was so enjoyable!
Thanks for making this video, subscribed! 👶
this haircut is so nice on you !!
Thank you! 🥰
OMG....I needed to hear your last minute or so about not loving every moment. I struggle with this so much even 10+ months in (tearing up as I write this). I love my twins but with having two, there was no time for rotation if either of wanted sleep or to eat. We did it all together and still do for the most part though it's getting easier. I wish we had more support, parental leave, and someone to tell us the things you mentioned throughout the video. We just didn't have that kind of village. Thank you so very much for your videos and honesty.
The things you mentioned here and in previous videos are the reasons I am getting my Masters in public health....to help create policy to get families through the perinatal part of life with all the tools and resources possible! 💕
I remember crying 2-3 nights postpartum with my first baby thinking about how hard it would be to have 2 small babies and/or twins. Now I’m 39+2 with my second. (Baby #1 is 2 in December).
100%. I cut out a giant rant about lack of support in the US for time. It’s so frustrating and like we are set up to fail and then feel bad about it.
@@Nurse_zabe exactly. There are unrealistic expectations on women to do it all.
In the middle of fourth trimester still but I really wish this video had existed for me in the beginning! Will definitely refer people to this, because it is so true, especially about the 4 hour segment making you feel like a new person and talking out some basic plans with partner beforehand!
The tip about having everything within reach of bed is something I'll use now!
My baby is 3 months old. I love your videos and they helped me a lot to prepare for labor and post-partum and in my pregnancy. Thank you! It makes me realise though how easy it has been for me, I didn't have any of the issues you mentioned a part from being tired for the first couple of weeks, I was back in shape very soon and my baby's healthy and calm. And I'm grateful ❤️ It was definately good to have all this information before to be able to prepare mentally but it made me anxious about post-partum, more than I needed to be. I definately regret having my mom over 'to help' 😅. I would rather spend this Time alone with my baby and husband.
Family can be tricky! I’m so glad things went well for you 😊
It's worth saying that you almost never know when you are depressed. You just are - it's your whole world. Setting up checkup systems is a very, very good idea. Even just a very simple mood diary with three things: How do I feel today? (scale of 1-10 or 1-5 or whatever pleases you); How hopeful am I? (scale); How anxious am I? (scale). If you want to get fancy add What am I looking forward to? (It's ok if your answer is one word, or nothing, or whatever - your mood diary is a judgement free space). If these scales stay under the half way point consistently, call your medical provider.
Yes! This is where the app basically does the same things. But sends you push notifications to help you remember too! 💗
I can’t tell you thank you enough for sharing this video. I’ve been getting 3 hours of sleep every 24 hours and I’m on E. I’m going to work towards getting a 4 hour stretch and accepting help.
I wish you would touch on postpartum struggles beyond 3 months. I know this video is just about the 4th trimester but my LO is almost 7 months and I am struggling, she's not sleeping well and my mental health is struggling and I feel like I should have it all figured out by now because I made it through the first 3 months.
Honestly I feel you so hard. Sleep is such a struggle right now for us too. No advice, but wanted you to know you’re not alone. 💗
I wish someone had emphasized to me the importance of that 4 hr sleep segment to my
mental health and my ability to care for myself and my baby. So here I am telling other mamas, My partner supplemented my breast feeding with formula feeds to allow me to sleep 4 hrs in a row. I worked with a lactation specialist to help me minimize impact to my supply and support our breast feeding + bottle feeding journey. It took my kid 4 months to sleep 3 hrs straight. I could NOT have made it without the 4 hr sleep segments. I just wish I’d spent less time feeling awful and guilty for needing more sleep; no one had told me the research on sleep segment lengths until I found it a really hard month or so into parenthood.
Sleep is so important and such an big thing we can control in our mental health. I honestly am not always getting 4 hour chunks right now and it’s tough!
You've inspired me to add formula to the shopping list. I don't know the last time I would have had 4 hours of sleep in a row. I'm so scared to impact my milk supply but perhaps we can use formula to just give me that little space to start pumping - currently I struggle to pump much extra milk at all because my baby seems to drink it all. Would you be happy to share a couple of tips on how to avoid impacting supply when using a little formula? I would plan to pump to replace the formula fed session, but don't have any ideas beyond that.
Can you snag an appt with an IBCLC or at least a nurse with lactation training? They could help with paced bottle feeding, pumping technique and timing, and any other concerns to help you specifically meet your personal goals for feeding your baby.
@@allisonkemper5533 I should be able to, Cheers
I think a video on easing back into physical intimacy would be nice. Also easing back into exercise.
I just had baby #6 on Sunday. He was my sixth planned home birth and unfortunately he had shoulder dystocia and him humerus was broken in order for him to be delivered. It has definitely altered our postpartum rest, since we’ve been going back and forth to the ER and orthopedist to get him taken care of. I treasure my blissful skin to skin postpartum week of lying in bed so much but it isn’t meant to be this time, and I’ve struggled with that quite a lot. Thank you for this video! 💕
Thank you so much for this Elizabeth! Baby is 12 weeks already, but so great to have validation for 4th trimester struggles.
I am 3 months pp and I just wanted to say you have helped me more than anyone else. Thank you so very much for preparing me for my daughter.
I had my beautiful baby 7 weeks ago and I used so many tips and tricks I learned from you over my pregnancy! I appreciate you opinions and experiences so much! The hospital bag videos were definitely the most helpful 🥰
For freezer meals, breakfasts burritos were wonderful!
Love a breakfast burrito! And congrats on your little one!
I was so so lucky and thankful since my mom also happens to be a nurse that used to workye postpartum before getting into working of working in an elderly daycare then rcfe facility of her own for both she was not only there inside my delivery when I delivered my son vaginally back in 2018 and then stayed with us almost a month just during the weekdays. This helped me to recovery and get settled into parenthood. The first year was rough and then toddler years have been easier than the baby year. I don't know how I would have survived if it wasn't for her there for both of us. My husband has never been around babies only toddlers as he is an early ed teacher like I am expect I have been around lots of babies.
Umm can we just acknowledge how great your hair looks! So cute. 37 weeks and totally exhausted. This is very helpful!
Your hair is so cute! Makes me want to cut my hair. 😊 my newest baby is 4 months old! This video was nice to see. It’s so easy to be hard on yourself as a mom but this was a nice reminder. 💕
Thank you! Enjoying it so far, but I wish I could put it up still!
Yeeees, I was going to comment about the hair cut. Gorgeous, lady!! :) :) My newbie is 3 months this week. Freezer meals were so great. We had such a weird crapstorm of life things happening at the same time after baby was born, and it was a boon. You just don't know what life will throw at you.
So honest and real, postpartum is hard I'm about to give birth to my 4th and I wish someone had told me everything you just explained so wonderfully when I was having my 1st!
I have a toddler and baby number two is due in 3 weeks. Moby wrap, nursing video would be really useful 🥰
I’ll do a reel!
NO BARBARA! 😂. Hilarious and true!
Why you gotta do me like that, Barbara?
I LOVE YOUR HAIR! I've been wondering where youd been! I usually check every couple days to see if I missed any videos! Glad to see your face!
My first postpartum experience rocked my world lol in the WORST way. Cried every day, was sleep deprived, angry, etc. Due with my 2nd in 11 weeks and really hoping this time goes smoother
Would love a reel about nursing in a stretchy carrier!
Can do!
Oh my golly!! I wish I could have watched this 5 months ago. 4 hours per night would have be hard to do but maybe possible. Definitely would have saved my sanity! And I loved the last part about not feeling guilty. Thanks so much for those encouraging words.
Omg new hair! 💇♀️ you look bomb, love it! 💓
Thank you! 💗
My pp anxiety was so high, I could barely accept help from my husband. I couldn’t calm my brain enough to sleep. Having him understand and just sit beside me while he held the baby so that if I jerked awake in a panic so I could see the baby was okay, definitely helped
Hey zabe :)
Just wanted to say THANK YOU! For making this video, I am having my third baby in August some time, and as it has been quite a few years between little ones so I am feeling much like a brand new mum! I also had and raised my first two kids on my own (no help or support person) and this time I have a partner! Yay (he’s great) but reiterating that it Is okay to ask your partner for help and have the conversations early is something that I am going to use and apply :)
Your are a gem at what you do
- Much love from Australia 🇦🇺 ❤️👶🏼🍼
Yes to all the points and to avoid it esp in the winter so for my second I’m going out more.. for drives or shopping or even a mani pedi! Mental health is so important! Xx
Thank you SOOO much Elizabeth for this encouragement. Sometimes I feel I am the only momma not enjoying evefy moment. PP is so incredibly hard especially with a 2 year old toddler running around. I never imagined it would be this difficult. Sending big hugs all the way from German winter....
There are so many tough moments, especially when you’re stuck inside during the winter! You’re doing a great job 💗💗
Woman I love you! Thank you for your video and your WORDS! ❤️
Love Love Love 💘 your new hair style! YOU GO GIRL!
I love your hair with the straight bob!
Love the new hairstyle!
🥰
Thank you for this
Also an Aries and it’s a struggle to accept help. But so worth it!
I have a three week old babe and a toddler so this came just in time!
Yay! You’re in the thick of it. I promise it gets easier! You’re doing a great job!
If I have another baby I will set up mental health check ins beforehand with family, friends, and a therapist. I was completely blindsided with my second by PPA and the huge withdrawal that came with it. I knew what was happening and I couldn’t tell anyone. Next time I will ask them for help in advance.
It is so tough in the moment to ask for help. I think that check-ins are such a great idea!
YES, so much of the yes. I love your realism and encouragement in this video. 👏🏽 And by the way your hair is looking fresh 👸🏽
We also made freezer meals (after I saw your video). They were awesome, and may have saved our sanity 😄
Love a good freezer meal!
I love your new haircut and colour!
Thank you! 🥰
Not everyone has this luxury, but I’ve been pumping twice a night while my husband takes the night shift with babe, from about 10pm until 7 am. I can get up twice when I naturally do to pump and not wake up much. And babe still feeds four or five times in that stretch, but two pumps is more than enough to cover these feeds. And she doesn’t sleep that great still, at ten weeks old. I started doing this four weeks postpartum, when it was safer to be pumping regularly to not mess up my supply. Life improved dramatically after this, and also when babe could just start taking bottles of breastmilk, so I could just pump with my wearable pump, and get chores done or have a break.
Thank you for making this video! Currently 7 weeks pp and definitely needed to hear some of this today. I loved my Wumblekin boxes during pregnancy and postpartum. Baby wearing in my Moby as we speak and would love a video on breastfeeding with a wrap!!!
This video is very much needed! The fourth trimester is so intense. thanks for your content
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Thank you so much for all your videos! Thanks to you I've been able to really talk with my partner about the whole topic. A couple we are friends with is pregnant, they will be having the baby in May. We on the other hand are not sure yet if we want to have kids. The information you provide is really helpfull in understanding how things will work exactly. I know if I'm having kids it will be very hard for me as I am very sensitive to pain. I know it would be hard for him too, but in another way. He always wants to protect me and does everything he can if I'm feeling even the slightest discomfort. Up until a few days ago he thought the only things he could do in this time would be being there, maybe holding my hand and trying not to faint. For him knowing that he actively can do things to help and contribute is huge. And I know that with him I have a partner at my side that would do great with all of that. For now it is just great to know where to turn to for quality information on the topic!
It sounds like you have an amazing, supportive partner!
@@Nurse_zabe yes he really is amazing!
I wish I had heard all this with my other children. Thank you for this video, so much helpful info. Definitely needed it today.
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I love the Drew Barrymore look!!
I needed this video so much! I'm about to have my 4th baby the week after Christmas (scheduled c-section) and I'm not concerned about my hospital bag or what my newborn needs. I've got those covered but the postpartum period totally sucks. Thanks for this.
Congrats on your upcoming 4th baby! 💗
Please do more post partum, any topic
Can do!
I needed this 8 months ago 🤣
Thank you! It'll prepare me for my other pregnancy.
Would love to see a baby carrier breast feeding tutorial!
My due date is today; my OB scheduled me for an induction if I don't go into labor by next week, and I feel so exhausted, defeated, and discouraged with my body. I'm 4cm dilated, 80% effaced, and have had every early labor sign there is, but no actual labor yet. At the moment, I would take every hard part of postpartum over waiting another week to have this baby.
I totally feel this! It’s so hard to go past your due date. The good news: your body is already super ready to have a baby. So when it happens, it’ll happen!
I wish I knew that my partner would be doing less. If I knew this, I would have changed my expectations and it would have made the 4th trimester much easier. Please ladies, ask for help BC many times men don't understand what is needed and it can be overwhelming thinking that they should know but they don't have the same instincts that mothers may have.
Mental health is very important in the 4th trimester. Please reach out to other mothers and forums and feel free to vent. Most mothers experience the same emotions during the postpartum period and the aloofness of the partner. You are not alone mother, don't be embarrassed. Speak up!
I feel that shade at people who throw things away 😂
We moved when my baby was about 1.5 weeks, and my mother and sister are notorious "this looks like I can throw it out" people. But this time, on top of that, my brother-in-law somehow managed to lose a box.
Still no idea how that happened.
He was trying to be helpful which I appreciate. Just so funny to me how he can be so clueless sometimes 😂
How do we get a 4 hr stretch of sleep when baby wants to nurse every 2hrs or less😢 this is a great video, thank you! I am currently 3 weeks postpartum and can relate to so much! Brushing my teeth has definitely been on the back burner....
I have been watching the show Little Men during night feedings😊
Also I am terrified of getting pregnant again and having another baby close together 😮 praying that my period won't return for at least 6 months since I am exclusively breastfeeding
I never knew how important a shower was for self care until I had a C-section and was made to shower every day. Having that few moments to myself released so much anxiety and tension. I was more present with my son after my shower and was less snappy with my husband.
Hot water is truly magical!
I am 38 and pregnant with my first. I am scared about the post partum stage and not the labor. All my friends have teenagers. No other new moms to go through this with.
I'll be induced in ten days, and it's my first baby.
I would love a wrap wearing video! I've attempted to wear little man once before but I was so paranoid about tying it too loose that I tied it too tight.
I can do that! It can be tricky to get it just right.
Your hair is so cute!
Thanks! 💗
Agreed with the last comments you made about not enjoying the 4th trimester
It’s so rough 😩
Love this video! Your hair, the honey pot pads (I discovered them when I gave birth last year), the booty jacuzzi... I wish I had seen it 14 months ago but will definitely pull it out whenever we have baby #2 🥰
Yes! Sitz baths are amazing!
Love your hair 💁🏻♀️ It’s super cute ☺️💕
Thank you! 💗
I'm about to have my 4th in less than 4 weeks. And postpartum is probably gonna wreck me.
The first month after my emergency c section me and my partner were in basically survival mode. Our baby was in the NICU an hour & a half away for 1 month. She’s been home for 2 weeks & it’s been such a breath of fresh air. But now it seems like some depression is setting in. 😕
Thank you so much for this video! These are great tips.
Thanks so much for the advice at the end especially!!!
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I wish they had a c section box. Or postpartum without a bunch of baby stuff. We are planning a c section for my sister and I was going to order one for a gift but the amount of money for a loooooot of vaginal birth supplies and an uneeded bottle and moby wrap that she already has. And you cant remove items or anything. The last thing a mom needs is a bunch of doubles to sell 😩😬 they have a lot of work to do I think still. Im not sure what they were like before but just the mention that they got more expensive just makes me feel like they added a tonne of extra junk to up the price.
I think a C-section is really good feedback that I will pass along. I was thinking it would be nice if you could send items back if you had a different birthday and you were expecting. Because I agree that it can be frustrating to get all these vaginal delivery items and then have a cesarean birth. Previously they had a box for each trimester but they combined it into a single pregnancy box, postpartum box and labor box. I will definitely pass the feedback along!
Yesss! You tell Barbara!
38 weeks pregnant and counting. This time I have a toddler and a 10 year old. Pray for me 😅
I’m freshly out out the 4th trimester ( baby just turned 3 months) and for the first week I slept maaaybe a total of an hour? I didn’t even get one minute in the first 3 days in the hospital I felt like I’m having an out of body experience. I couldn’t even have anyone watch my baby because I was too scared they will drop her and needed to watch her at all times so sleep wasn’t an option
That sounds so stressful! I hope you are getting more sleep now!
Thank you!! I’m being induced in Jan and super nervous.
You’ve got this! 💪
@@Nurse_zabe thank you!! I pray for a nurse as compassionate, encouraging, and informative as you!!
I watched endless series on Netflix "Explained" ...couldnt reach the remote so watched while he was napping on me🤣
Auto play ftw
Love the new hair cut! 🥰Did postpartum hair loss play a role in making the decision to cut your hair?
Thank you. It definitely did! Especially the bangs.
@@Nurse_zabe Oh I know! I've just had my 5th baby and am not looking forward to the baby hairs sticking up😅
So I'm planning on trying to get pregnant when my nexplonon expires next year. I have my nipples and clit hood pierced I've been told by some people that I wont be able to beast feed due to them and that birth will be more difficult. Anyone else have piercings
Or when sh*t is hitting the floor. I took too much stool softener after my first because I heard the first bowel movement was difficult. 😳😱
Oh no! Shit literally hitting the fan is no fun either! 😳
CUTE hair!!!!!!
So I am a week off from having my 3rd baby and I have formula feed my other two, but recently I keep getting advertisements for lawsuit stuff for some formula causing NEC is this true and is there a formula you would recommend if so or is it something that is not true?
Formula causing NEC is more the case for premature babies. My understanding is that it’s most important to use the sterile bottle water they sell by the gallon than the formula. Breastmilk is easier on the tummy in general, and that makes the most difference in premature and sick babies.
Love your new hair mama!
And yeah Barbara needs to stop 😆😠😅
Currently in the 4th trimester, and I never anticipated how little I'd be able to do. I feel rather useless (even though I know caring for my son is the most important thing I could do), and I feel guilty for asking my husband to do so much.
How did you figure out she liked to be in the closet?
Basically she was just super distractible with her siblings and such so I went in a place that was quiet and dark