We understand. I pray your strength in the Lord in Jesus name. And choose to not let anyone cause you to feel shame, guilt, fear, or embarrassment for the decisions that you have made regarding YOUR life. ALWAYS choose to remember, know, trust, and believe that God gave you this life to live the way that HE intended for you to live. And absolutely no one have the right to control it or the outcome whatsoever. I pray that you choose to know, trust, and believe, that God is real, alive, and well. And I pray that you choose to know, trust, and believe, that God truly do love and care for you and so do I. And I pray that you choose to know, trust, and believe that you are of value and have worth in Jesus name. Amen. Because Jesus gave His life for you. He saw you as being valuable and worthy to die for. Now that is what love is all about. Now that is what love is in a nutshell in Jesus name. Amen. I pray that you choose to know, trust, and believe that you are absolutely NOT alone in the mighty and matchless name of Jesus Christ of NAZARETH. The name above ALL names. AMEN.
My favorite part of this video is when you said we need to do a lot of work (to heal) because a lot of work was put into conditioning us. I never thought about it that way before but you're so right. Thank you so much for this video. I will apply your tips and continue working towards a more normal life.
It is hard. I've felt the same way all my life. But you *can* do it. You are not the person that the narcissist said you were. Michelle just gave you a map directing you on how to climb out of the pit. It is hard, but it can be done.
@@starlingswallowyou're definitely not the only one. With eventual knowledge of the disorder have I been absolutely on it when it comes to handling being housed with a narcissist currently; sadly rustling with the fact of that person being my own mother. And it stings so much because it'd taken my adult years to ultimately find out on where she was mentally as it's resulted in where I am in those multitude of ways. Neither do I want to feel this way, but we're in this together for sure.
One way to know that you're dealing with a narcissist is when they take, and take, leaving you feeling depleted. Whereas, you'll receive less, and less or nothing in return. 💙UA-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
I learned cutting toxic people works like magic. Block, ignore, mute - without wars, without hatred, without arguing, without agenda to get even - simply shut the door, plenty and without exclusions, there is no quota and without giving excuses and without telling them at all, I can do it in my head, since covert narcissists are the most sinister in their abuse, so it is healthier to cut them off without confrontation.
@@parrotshootist3004 If we resort to violence, we prolong abuse and become abusers ourselves- All abusers have been abused themselves. They are passing generational curse to another generation. The cycle must stop. It is up to us to be adult and not spread abuse any more.
Every word you spoke…I feel guilty for being alive, for the breath I consume…I’ve said that so many times! Always asking myself, “what is wrong with me?!” This video is everything. Thank you for all your help.🏆
I endured this with my ex-wife until I finally woke up to it; now I have to help my 13.5 yr old daughter navigate this. We used to go to Starbucks most Saturday mornings (I have 50/50 custody). It wasn't about the coffee, it was the drive/talk quality time as we'd pick up drinks and drive around. I recently learned that my ex says "You went to Starbucks? Again?" to my daughter (she knows this because she monitors her whereabouts via a tracking app on her phone) every time we go! I had wondered why my daughter hadn't wanted to go to SB the last few times I'd asked and she said it was because of her mom's questioning. I felt such a mix of emotions from anger to hurt and worry for her, to feeling angry and triggered. I am very careful about what I say to her regarding her mom and ultimately told her, calmly, that if we don't go to SB then her mom "wins" in impacting our relationship. It's so sad how narcs do this and how powerful a look or comment can affect us.
Not necesarily... You need to outsmart the narcissist and your daughter... For example, let your daughter tell her how boring starbuck is... She will leave you alone... It s about sucking your happiness what narcs are about... I recommend you narc free family channel, as the owner is a coparent with a narc..
I was punished, spanked/head knocked on by my fathers fist/pulled into a room by my ear, then sent to my room to "cry it out". Left in the dark to cry my little girl heart out. No one came to me. No one held me. No one comforted me. No one came in later to explain what I did or assure me they still loved me. Not my dad (the Narc) Not my mom (enabler) Not my brothers Nobody. I cried myself to sleep and woke in the morning to everyone normal, like nothing happened. No acknowledgment of my feelings. I learned to also act like nothing happened, too, pushing all my feelings down, _down,_ *down.* Married a covert narcissist (like my dad), spent 14 miserable years with him and it was all the same things but WAY worse. Guilt all the time....and major SHAME. For existing. For having needs. For having preferences. For crying. For yawning. For needing to use the bathroom. For going to bed early. For having a period. For being sick. For being injured. For having a headache. For wanting to see family/friends. For laughing. For wanting to do what I loved. For wanting sex/intimacy. For loving God. My parents are the root of all of this. They don't see me, they don't want me to be happy in life or love. They don't trust my adult decisions. They don't respect the boundaries I've set up with them. They guilt, mock, criticize, undermine, minimize.... They "don't want to steal my victories" but also don't celebrate my victories _either._ I'm so done. I don't care anymore. I feel safer, more confident in myself, more peace when I don't talk to them. I've gone no contact....and I don't see how I'll ever be able to let them back in. They just KEEP hurting me! And any amount of explaining to them what they're doing hasn't helped. They. Don't. Care. 😓🤯😖😖😖😖😖
I was treated the exact same. I hate how I always fought, begged, and hoped that they would eventually comfort me and hold me. I hate how I discovered the word of narcissistic abuse too late to prevent certain things. I hope that there will be a way to make up for all of the life that I have missed. I want to believe that that is the reward at the end of this leg of my healing journey. I believe that is the case for you as well! If you give up then they win, and they don’t deserve to win, us survivors do!
You should be proud of yourself. You are very very close to the Aim of trully respecting and loving yourself. Now you trully must come to a Place of seeing them who they are +accepting that you can not change, repair or save them. But you can make yourself happy, this is your only Responsibility. You are NOT responsible for their Life, Feelings or what they do. Please be patient and kind to yourself. Do not care about them but not to get them back, but for your inner Peace and Healings. Hugs.
I was shamed for everything I enjoyed, the only exception was in front of company. Any time I had my own opinion or perspective I was automatically wrong or "you don't know what you're talking about" or it would be an opportunity for the usually humiliation tactics.
This makes absolute sense. Its like neuro linguistic programming, a tone a look, a posture, whatever, triggers that submissive response, especially from childhood. I still feel this guilty tension rise up whenever I hear this tone or see the look similar in other people, even if its completely non toxic circumstances. The most pernicious thing my Dad did though was tell me don't surround yourself with yourself (expressed calmly and from a 'benevolent ' place whenever I expressed a thought contrary to his view, teaching me to not critically think, Even though I've always been very open to other perspectives, I took that too much to heart because I didn't want to be selfish and delusional and...narcissistic and I've had so much trouble with that in my life, trustunf my inner voice, especially with believing in my passions. I appreciate all the advice you give 🙏
I've always wondered how my partners exwife was able to destroy the personalities of his 2 kids. I've been involved since they were 4&5 yrs old & we always had a great time & did lots of fun things together. When they were pre teens, she witheld them & when we finally saw them again (19 & 20) they were so filled with hate, rage, paranoia & suicidal. After helping them with a few things after she kicked them out, they turned on us saying how they couldn't accept us cuz we wouldn't pay their bills...guess we're not rich enough. Its feels insane what kind of expectations & disrespect they carry for their dad & me now. Kids judging their own dad...smh sick!
Hi Michelle, I have been watching your channel for a few years now. I did not know the word narcissist until probably about 8 years ago. I knew how my wife treated me and I knew how my wife's mother treated everybody, but I didn't know the word to call what they were. As I learned what the characteristics of a narcissist was, I could remember things all through my marriage that lined up perfectly with almost every aspect or definition of a narcissist. Then I realized that my mother was a narcissist. I really enjoy your videos. They are very educational and eye opening. And in a strange sense it's very liberating to know that I wasn't crazy. Unfortunately, I also realized that two of my four grown daughters are narcissist. And at least one of my sons married a narcissist. There is hope however, I got a divorce. Keep spreading the word.
Hey Blue Bear, you are incredibly articulate and I appreciate your comment on my comment. It's very helpful to be uplifted, especially in the midst of discovering my father is a narcissist and my mom is an enabler with Narc tendencies. I'm so sorry about your granddaughters and your sons wife. It feels like narcissism is everywhere. 😢 Thank you again for your comments, not just on my posts but others. It's funny how a strangers kindness can touch such a deep part of our hearts...I'm guessing a big part of that is the lack of that very thing we all had in our childhood and marriages. I was married to a covert Narc for 14 years and it was hell, I didn't know what I was in, what was going on, what I was dealing with. It is so mind blowing. I hope you have found some peace, and uplifting other abuse survivors is such an honor, for all of us who have been through it, or are still going through it. I am now remarried to a wonderful man (who is also the black sheep of his family) and we have so much peace and love. It's in experiencing his love that shone a spotlight on the lack of it in my upbringing. Thank you! Sincerely, Jenn
Pssh, and in this area even did I not only think I was the only one to have found out like so? But I also felt that shame of being as old as I am because of, as I've tussled against saying about myself, "how ignorant i've been for so long and how costly". Thanks to not only a best friend, but an aunt also who stopped talking to her recently was the personality claimed, and after studying where things were. .it's crazy how my views toward her have absolutely changed toward her.
@@LuminesBreezer-- It is a good feeling to know that you're not the only one. I knew something was wrong with my relationship with my wife, I just didn't know what it was called. I'm 68. I was married for forty-seven years. Narcissists are always claiming that it's your fault and not theirs. I was divorced over a year ago. People say that there's always somebody out there, that I could get married again. I am lonely but I haven't met anyone else. I have gotten closer to God and that has been a blessing. Nice to hear from you. For some reason UA-cam change my name from Blue Bear back to Johnny Dollar. (At least on my screen) Johnny Dollar is not my name. I did use that name some fifteen years ago.
It’s like collecting debris from a silent, underground explosion and piecing it back together to keep from dying, while wanting or believing you should die.
Same. I felt guilty for existing because she said she did nothing with her life bc she had to stop college and have me. As if I somehow controlled those choices or her ability to have a productive life afterward. Children are never at fault for the parents choices.
It's unfortunate that so many people is so riddled with guilt, that they will not acknowledge the way they raised created a negative impact on their lives. They may acknowledge certain things happened in their childhood that wasn't healthy, normal, or whatever the case maybe. But they will NOT acknowledge that is what caused them to migrate to poor and toxic mindsets, behavior, and way of thinking. And that's why they won't ever be free or healed when they choose to function that way.
However unbelievable this may sound my mother used to tell me over and over again about the absolute excruciating pain I caused her when she delivered me.
😔😥 This is so true. . . Im on the process of healing I have read Heal your Life by Louise Hay I kept on affirming "I have the right to live" because I always felt I am ashamed of being alive ,and growing up I aways have lung illnesses,pneumonia,frequent coughs that lasts up to one month.😔
My first thought with this was not in relation to parents but a attempted relationship where I assumed the child role while she took over her mother's. All shortly after her mother's death. Grieving and portraying her mothers stern pedestal stance all at the same time. I believe that was keeping her present. I get it. Been there with a wife. But it is not a license to make others less than. You think its a matter of going through the grief stages. But the learned behavior from early on is definitely permanent with dedicated emulation as a remembrance. Multiple people inside one person. You never knew who was there at any given moment.
Yes you are making sense ... a lot of sense. I never cried tears when my mother died. Actually I didn't know how i felt. I understand. She told me almost all of my life, "Don't cry." "Why are you crying!!?"
Wonderfully Articulated. Ive watched most of your videos and relate to the majority of the content. I’ve recently woken up at 40 years old after my mother gave me the silent treatment when I got upset with her. Like a light switch, it occurred to me that all throughout my childhood and adult life, my feelings were invalidated particularly when going against what they think are the ways i should think, act and feel.
Sooo much work! And many people try to make me feel exploring my emotions is just keeping me stuck. I was already stuck, learning why is the only way out. These videos are validating, thank you 💕.
This was so painful to watch because it brought back memories of all the ways my parents did this to me throughout my life. I have been no contact for three years but the shame is still there. I was the gay only child with narcissistic parents. What has helped me is doing the things I want to do in my life, making my own decisions, working through the guilt by asking do I really have any reason to feel bad about this, and tapping into the feelings of joy.
The last message my mother sent me: " My conscience is clear, I am a good mother. Have you already forgotten what I've gone through and suffered because of you?" Classic, hey?
I was just transitional target, she is in stable marriage for years now, stable marriage but with me it was 5.5 years of just hoovering and after that coldness and discard... mine self-worth is destroyed, I was just used and someone is good enough for marriage and normal life..., how to resolve this past ?
The used to punish me severly for even making basic life choices.. They decide what I watch, what I hear, whatni sld like,.. And I sld not have a job as well but to the outside world they act as good
I understand the hunger for more. There are other channels on UA-cam that have other counselors. Michelle is one of the best for me. But others are good too. 🔍 Search Narcissist Counselors on you tube. Warning ⚠️ Not all counselors are the same. Some are better than others for you. I've had to supplement to get fed enough at times. Some I only listened to for a few minutes and knew they weren't for me. Michelle has always been good. Michelle has a few years of videos that I'm sure would be helpful for you.
I’m 40. My older brother wants to have his own life so he moved overseas. My mum doesn’t want to trouble him so she chose to live with me without my agreement. I don’t get to go out with friends, let alone dating without dramas from her. Gaslighting and guilt tripping occur daily and my opinions never matters. If I disagree on sth, she and my brother will stop talking to me. I no longer have a reason to be in the world, really.
Hi Michelle! I really enjoy the energy and sincerity along with all your understanding! Which is why I would like to share Neuro FunC App.. Neurotraining is a kind of back door (body to mind) approach to improving that instinctual thought-action connection and releasing the "learned" behaviors that can sneak in between desire and intention and our actual "lived" feelings and behaviors... it really help so much in rebuilding those true real and natural thought/feelings and behavior pathways!! Best wishes!! 🦾❤️🦾
Imagine being guilty for existing when the only perfect person, the Creator of the universe, loved us and made us right from the womb
My mother told me she has no reason to live because I didn’t give her grandkids. I chose to break the toxic cycle.
❤ have fun it’s your Life 😊 👍🏴😎
We understand. I pray your strength in the Lord in Jesus name. And choose to not let anyone cause you to feel shame, guilt, fear, or embarrassment for the decisions that you have made regarding YOUR life. ALWAYS choose to remember, know, trust, and believe that God gave you this life to live the way that HE intended for you to live. And absolutely no one have the right to control it or the outcome whatsoever. I pray that you choose to know, trust, and believe, that God is real, alive, and well. And I pray that you choose to know, trust, and believe, that God truly do love and care for you and so do I. And I pray that you choose to know, trust, and believe that you are of value and have worth in Jesus name. Amen. Because Jesus gave His life for you. He saw you as being valuable and worthy to die for. Now that is what love is all about. Now that is what love is in a nutshell in Jesus name. Amen. I pray that you choose to know, trust, and believe that you are absolutely NOT alone in the mighty and matchless name of Jesus Christ of NAZARETH. The name above ALL names. AMEN.
I feel the same. Guilty for being alive, taking up space, and breathing. If feels better to know that I’m not alone. Thanks! 😊
You have a right to be alive... Your Father created you with love
Every survivor of narcissistic abuse NEEDS to watch this video!! Thank you so much for what you do, Michelle! 🙏
My favorite part of this video is when you said we need to do a lot of work (to heal) because a lot of work was put into conditioning us. I never thought about it that way before but you're so right. Thank you so much for this video. I will apply your tips and continue working towards a more normal life.
I've always felt like a bother and a loser.
No more. I don't want to feel this way anymore. I'm trying to climb out of this pit.... it's HARD.
It is hard. I've felt the same way all my life. But you *can* do it. You are not the person that the narcissist said you were. Michelle just gave you a map directing you on how to climb out of the pit. It is hard, but it can be done.
@@JohnnyDollar1973 thank you!❤
@@starlingswallowyou're definitely not the only one. With eventual knowledge of the disorder have I been absolutely on it when it comes to handling being housed with a narcissist currently; sadly rustling with the fact of that person being my own mother. And it stings so much because it'd taken my adult years to ultimately find out on where she was mentally as it's resulted in where I am in those multitude of ways. Neither do I want to feel this way, but we're in this together for sure.
Wow, you are so spot on! I resonate so much with these feelings. Daughter of a narcissist father here. I feel guilt & frozen most of the time.
One way to know that you're dealing with a narcissist is when they take, and take, leaving you feeling depleted. Whereas, you'll receive less, and less or nothing in return.
💙UA-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
Thank you, this video helped me so much. I use to have to repeat to myself “I am allowed to exist”. My parents made me believe I was nothing.
Same. "You cant have any coffee this morning because other people are coming iver later and they might want some "
I learned cutting toxic people works like magic. Block, ignore, mute - without wars, without hatred, without arguing, without agenda to get even - simply shut the door, plenty and without exclusions, there is no quota and without giving excuses and without telling them at all, I can do it in my head, since covert narcissists are the most sinister in their abuse, so it is healthier to cut them off without confrontation.
a claymore works well for cutting them. In half.
@@parrotshootist3004 If we resort to violence, we prolong abuse and become abusers ourselves-
All abusers have been abused themselves.
They are passing generational curse to another generation.
The cycle must stop.
It is up to us to be adult and not spread abuse any more.
@@parrotshootist3004The justice system frowns on matricide.
Every word you spoke…I feel guilty for being alive, for the breath I consume…I’ve said that so many times! Always asking myself, “what is wrong with me?!”
This video is everything. Thank you for all your help.🏆
I endured this with my ex-wife until I finally woke up to it; now I have to help my 13.5 yr old daughter navigate this. We used to go to Starbucks most Saturday mornings (I have 50/50 custody). It wasn't about the coffee, it was the drive/talk quality time as we'd pick up drinks and drive around. I recently learned that my ex says "You went to Starbucks? Again?" to my daughter (she knows this because she monitors her whereabouts via a tracking app on her phone) every time we go! I had wondered why my daughter hadn't wanted to go to SB the last few times I'd asked and she said it was because of her mom's questioning. I felt such a mix of emotions from anger to hurt and worry for her, to feeling angry and triggered. I am very careful about what I say to her regarding her mom and ultimately told her, calmly, that if we don't go to SB then her mom "wins" in impacting our relationship. It's so sad how narcs do this and how powerful a look or comment can affect us.
Not necesarily... You need to outsmart the narcissist and your daughter... For example, let your daughter tell her how boring starbuck is... She will leave you alone... It s about sucking your happiness what narcs are about... I recommend you narc free family channel, as the owner is a coparent with a narc..
Get the girl a hidden recording device. Keep it hidden from narc at all costs. Build evidence
I was punished, spanked/head knocked on by my fathers fist/pulled into a room by my ear, then sent to my room to "cry it out". Left in the dark to cry my little girl heart out.
No one came to me.
No one held me.
No one comforted me.
No one came in later to explain what I did or assure me they still loved me.
Not my dad (the Narc)
Not my mom (enabler)
Not my brothers
Nobody.
I cried myself to sleep and woke in the morning to everyone normal, like nothing happened. No acknowledgment of my feelings.
I learned to also act like nothing happened, too, pushing all my feelings down, _down,_ *down.*
Married a covert narcissist (like my dad), spent 14 miserable years with him and it was all the same things but WAY worse.
Guilt all the time....and major SHAME.
For existing.
For having needs.
For having preferences.
For crying.
For yawning.
For needing to use the bathroom.
For going to bed early.
For having a period.
For being sick.
For being injured.
For having a headache.
For wanting to see family/friends.
For laughing.
For wanting to do what I loved.
For wanting sex/intimacy.
For loving God.
My parents are the root of all of this. They don't see me, they don't want me to be happy in life or love. They don't trust my adult decisions. They don't respect the boundaries I've set up with them. They guilt, mock, criticize, undermine, minimize....
They "don't want to steal my victories" but also don't celebrate my victories _either._
I'm so done. I don't care anymore. I feel safer, more confident in myself, more peace when I don't talk to them. I've gone no contact....and I don't see how I'll ever be able to let them back in. They just KEEP hurting me!
And any amount of explaining to them what they're doing hasn't helped.
They. Don't. Care.
😓🤯😖😖😖😖😖
I was treated the exact same. I hate how I always fought, begged, and hoped that they would eventually comfort me and hold me. I hate how I discovered the word of narcissistic abuse too late to prevent certain things.
I hope that there will be a way to make up for all of the life that I have missed. I want to believe that that is the reward at the end of this leg of my healing journey.
I believe that is the case for you as well! If you give up then they win, and they don’t deserve to win, us survivors do!
Me too. It made me sick as a child from 5-12. Had to go to speech therapy as well.
At least : a happy ending. In German : wer zu letzt lacht, lacht am besten. 🍀
You should be proud of yourself. You are very very close to the Aim of trully respecting and loving yourself. Now you trully must come to a Place of seeing them who they are +accepting that you can not change, repair or save them. But you can make yourself happy, this is your only Responsibility. You are NOT responsible for their Life, Feelings or what they do. Please be patient and kind to yourself. Do not care about them but not to get them back, but for your inner Peace and Healings. Hugs.
This is reality. We should be speaking this truth, as opposite to give them more supply with their abuse... Keep talking... You are healing🙏🙋♀️🤗
Breath work class would be great for the people who's bodies won't allow them to feel or express feelings!
I was shamed for everything I enjoyed, the only exception was in front of company. Any time I had my own opinion or perspective I was automatically wrong or "you don't know what you're talking about" or it would be an opportunity for the usually humiliation tactics.
This makes absolute sense. Its like neuro linguistic programming, a tone a look, a posture, whatever, triggers that submissive response, especially from childhood. I still feel this guilty tension rise up whenever I hear this tone or see the look similar in other people, even if its completely non toxic circumstances. The most pernicious thing my Dad did though was tell me don't surround yourself with yourself (expressed calmly and from a 'benevolent ' place whenever I expressed a thought contrary to his view, teaching me to not critically think, Even though I've always been very open to other perspectives, I took that too much to heart because I didn't want to be selfish and delusional and...narcissistic and I've had so much trouble with that in my life, trustunf my inner voice, especially with believing in my passions. I appreciate all the advice you give 🙏
I can relate so much to what you say. Believe in you, you worth it and so do i.
@@dominiquelasserre828 🙏
Narc parents are idiots... No doubt of that... 😢🤦♀️
It's a strange thing, to be estranged from self. Because it suited someone else.
I've always wondered how my partners exwife was able to destroy the personalities of his 2 kids. I've been involved since they were 4&5 yrs old & we always had a great time & did lots of fun things together. When they were pre teens, she witheld them & when we finally saw them again (19 & 20) they were so filled with hate, rage, paranoia & suicidal. After helping them with a few things after she kicked them out, they turned on us saying how they couldn't accept us cuz we wouldn't pay their bills...guess we're not rich enough. Its feels insane what kind of expectations & disrespect they carry for their dad & me now. Kids judging their own dad...smh sick!
Hi Michelle, I have been watching your channel for a few years now. I did not know the word narcissist until probably about 8 years ago. I knew how my wife treated me and I knew how my wife's mother treated everybody, but I didn't know the word to call what they were. As I learned what the characteristics of a narcissist was, I could remember things all through my marriage that lined up perfectly with almost every aspect or definition of a narcissist. Then I realized that my mother was a narcissist.
I really enjoy your videos. They are very educational and eye opening. And in a strange sense it's very liberating to know that I wasn't crazy.
Unfortunately, I also realized that two of my four grown daughters are narcissist. And at least one of my sons married a narcissist.
There is hope however, I got a divorce. Keep spreading the word.
Hey Blue Bear, you are incredibly articulate and I appreciate your comment on my comment. It's very helpful to be uplifted, especially in the midst of discovering my father is a narcissist and my mom is an enabler with Narc tendencies.
I'm so sorry about your granddaughters and your sons wife. It feels like narcissism is everywhere. 😢
Thank you again for your comments, not just on my posts but others. It's funny how a strangers kindness can touch such a deep part of our hearts...I'm guessing a big part of that is the lack of that very thing we all had in our childhood and marriages. I was married to a covert Narc for 14 years and it was hell, I didn't know what I was in, what was going on, what I was dealing with. It is so mind blowing.
I hope you have found some peace, and uplifting other abuse survivors is such an honor, for all of us who have been through it, or are still going through it. I am now remarried to a wonderful man (who is also the black sheep of his family) and we have so much peace and love. It's in experiencing his love that shone a spotlight on the lack of it in my upbringing.
Thank you!
Sincerely, Jenn
Pssh, and in this area even did I not only think I was the only one to have found out like so? But I also felt that shame of being as old as I am because of, as I've tussled against saying about myself, "how ignorant i've been for so long and how costly". Thanks to not only a best friend, but an aunt also who stopped talking to her recently was the personality claimed, and after studying where things were. .it's crazy how my views toward her have absolutely changed toward her.
@@starlingswallow I didn't see your comment until now. I don't know why. Thank you for your compliments. I'm glad my comments helped out some.
@@LuminesBreezer-- It is a good feeling to know that you're not the only one. I knew something was wrong with my relationship with my wife, I just didn't know what it was called. I'm 68. I was married for forty-seven years. Narcissists are always claiming that it's your fault and not theirs. I was divorced over a year ago. People say that there's always somebody out there, that I could get married again. I am lonely but I haven't met anyone else. I have gotten closer to God and that has been a blessing. Nice to hear from you.
For some reason UA-cam change my name from Blue Bear back to Johnny Dollar. (At least on my screen) Johnny Dollar is not my name. I did use that name some fifteen years ago.
It’s like collecting debris from a silent, underground explosion and piecing it back together to keep from dying, while wanting or believing you should die.
Michele , you are a wonderful Mother guaranteed Your children are precious no doubt and you are blessings to each other 💯😅
I worry that my kids will be exposed to that abuse when not in my custody.
🙏
I recommend you narc free family channel on youtube. She co parents with a narc
It’s been my repeated experience with narcissistic family abuse patterns. When one will end another will then take their place and it starts again.
Thank you. You’ve helped me a lot. Now time to get a therapist
Be careful. There are some therapist, who are narcissts too. But you can change your therapist, every time you want.
Same. I felt guilty for existing because she said she did nothing with her life bc she had to stop college and have me. As if I somehow controlled those choices or her ability to have a productive life afterward. Children are never at fault for the parents choices.
*Learning a New Launguage is Quite Nuanced. ♡
*Much Respect and Gratitude
Thank you, @ Michele Lee Nieves Coaching.
Thank you Michelle, this makes so much sense 😌🙏
100% right. Every word from Michelle!
these are so helpful. Thank you for being so nice and understanding.
"You and your brother ruined our lives!" "Here's your chance to earn some of your keep" "I couldn't seem to get any work out of you today"
It's unfortunate that so many people is so riddled with guilt, that they will not acknowledge the way they raised created a negative impact on their lives. They may acknowledge certain things happened in their childhood that wasn't healthy, normal, or whatever the case maybe. But they will NOT acknowledge that is what caused them to migrate to poor and toxic mindsets, behavior, and way of thinking. And that's why they won't ever be free or healed when they choose to function that way.
However unbelievable this may sound my mother used to tell me over and over again about the absolute excruciating pain I caused her when she delivered me.
Yes, I was just thinking to myself how I'm not needed here and just a waste of space, air, and a burden at this point.
😔😥 This is so true. . . Im on the process of healing I have read Heal your Life by Louise Hay I kept on affirming "I have the right to live" because I always felt I am ashamed of being alive ,and growing up I aways have lung illnesses,pneumonia,frequent coughs that lasts up to one month.😔
My first thought with this was not in relation to parents but a attempted relationship where I assumed the child role while she took over her mother's. All shortly after her mother's death. Grieving and portraying her mothers stern pedestal stance all at the same time. I believe that was keeping her present. I get it. Been there with a wife. But it is not a license to make others less than. You think its a matter of going through the grief stages. But the learned behavior from early on is definitely permanent with dedicated emulation as a remembrance. Multiple people inside one person. You never knew who was there at any given moment.
Yes you are making sense ... a lot of sense. I never cried tears when my mother died. Actually I didn't know how i felt. I understand. She told me almost all of my life, "Don't cry." "Why are you crying!!?"
Wonderfully Articulated. Ive watched most of your videos and relate to the majority of the content. I’ve recently woken up at 40 years old after my mother gave me the silent treatment when I got upset with her. Like a light switch, it occurred to me that all throughout my childhood and adult life, my feelings were invalidated particularly when going against what they think are the ways i should think, act and feel.
Sooo much work! And many people try to make me feel exploring my emotions is just keeping me stuck. I was already stuck, learning why is the only way out. These videos are validating, thank you 💕.
That’s how I’ve felt all my life. I’m 71. Both my parents shamed me.
Right. I agree. I try to share with as many people as I can.
This was so painful to watch because it brought back memories of all the ways my parents did this to me throughout my life. I have been no contact for three years but the shame is still there. I was the gay only child with narcissistic parents. What has helped me is doing the things I want to do in my life, making my own decisions, working through the guilt by asking do I really have any reason to feel bad about this, and tapping into the feelings of joy.
The last message my mother sent me: " My conscience is clear, I am a good mother. Have you already forgotten what I've gone through and suffered because of you?" Classic, hey?
I was just transitional target, she is in stable marriage for years now, stable marriage but with me it was 5.5 years
of just hoovering and after that coldness and discard...
mine self-worth is destroyed,
I was just used and someone is good enough for marriage and normal life...,
how to resolve this past ?
You rule michele im so happy i found your channel and work its quality stuff!
When you have to spend your entire life in therapy, that parent had no business being a parent.
Thats eerily accurate!
Thank you
Thank you ! God bless u
Is exactly as you said! You are amazing in describing what happen! And understand what the narcissist do help us a lot!
Thank you for the work that you do
The used to punish me severly for even making basic life choices.. They decide what I watch, what I hear, whatni sld like,.. And I sld not have a job as well but to the outside world they act as good
Thank you for what you do
Post more please. Like daily?
watch all her Videos, they are ALL helpfull and there are a gazillion of them
I understand the hunger for more. There are other channels on UA-cam that have other counselors. Michelle is one of the best for me. But others are good too. 🔍 Search Narcissist Counselors on you tube. Warning ⚠️ Not all counselors are the same. Some are better than others for you. I've had to supplement to get fed enough at times. Some I only listened to for a few minutes and knew they weren't for me. Michelle has always been good. Michelle has a few years of videos that I'm sure would be helpful for you.
She's my favorite too, that's why I'm saying that. I follow about 30 narc channels. Could always use one more. Thanks
CUÁNTO LAMENTO QUE NO ESTÉ DISPONIBLE LOS SUBTÍTULOS EN ESPAÑOL!!!😭
Tambien no hay los subtítulos en Ingles. There are also no subtitles in English!!
el canal yt de integración interna (Inner Integration) de meredith miller tiene videos en español sobre la curación del abuso narcisista
I’m 40. My older brother wants to have his own life so he moved overseas. My mum doesn’t want to trouble him so she chose to live with me without my agreement. I don’t get to go out with friends, let alone dating without dramas from her. Gaslighting and guilt tripping occur daily and my opinions never matters. If I disagree on sth, she and my brother will stop talking to me. I no longer have a reason to be in the world, really.
I need some conseler do you do one and one ?
🙏❤
Sometimes I want a dominatrix to give me "light" humiliation play😂...
Entire video
833 likes!🍡🎨🎉🎖🎊🍨
I'm open for adoption from a healthy family structure?... Just throwing that out there!!!...
👏❤️🙌
You should study potty-training by a narc. Sad.
Hi Michelle! I really enjoy the energy and sincerity along with all your understanding!
Which is why I would like to share Neuro FunC App.. Neurotraining is a kind of back door (body to mind) approach to improving that instinctual thought-action connection and releasing the "learned" behaviors that can sneak in between desire and intention and our actual "lived" feelings and behaviors...
it really help so much in rebuilding those true real and natural thought/feelings and behavior pathways!!
Best wishes!!
🦾❤️🦾