AJ Hawk Reveals His Deeply Concerning Issues In The Bathroom... | Pat McAfee Show

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  • Опубліковано 18 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 467

  • @huntermielke12
    @huntermielke12 5 годин тому +615

    Probably havent clicked on a video this fast since AJs Pet Alligator story

    • @chucknorris78945
      @chucknorris78945 5 годин тому +34

      RIP Jimmy

    • @evanwaleck87
      @evanwaleck87 4 години тому +23

      @@chucknorris78945Moment of silence for Jimmy

    • @DMacy7
      @DMacy7 4 години тому +6

      I still watch the Jimmy video atleast once a week. RIP Jimmy, we love you buddy!

    • @blakemcmullen9856
      @blakemcmullen9856 4 години тому +4

      I thought it was piranhas???

    • @DMacy7
      @DMacy7 4 години тому

      @@blakemcmullen9856 Piranhas and alligators. AJ is a menace!

  • @DontTreadOnUsBlog
    @DontTreadOnUsBlog 5 годин тому +330

    "Sometimes when I wipe, I wipe and I wipe... poop, still poop. It's like I'm wiping a marker or something" - Chris Pratt Parks & Rec blooper

    • @415Diesel
      @415Diesel 4 години тому +6

      Such a great blooper. The way he runs his finger under his nose and the deadpan delivery are what make it for me. Might have to rewatch Parks and Rec again.

    • @kalvin.
      @kalvin. 4 години тому +9

      And Aubrey Plaza breaking character after the first "i wipe"

    • @TM25Tk
      @TM25Tk 4 години тому +6

      Always sunny in Philadelphia made this joke first.

    • @bravosection
      @bravosection 4 години тому +2

      I went looking for this comment. Glad I didn’t have to search long

    • @welrod94
      @welrod94 3 години тому +4

      ​@@TM25Tk I don't wanna be that guy but family guy did it way before them.
      Peter said it's like a brown crayon down there😂 then come to find out it was stewies crayon and he gives it back then stewie is like why is my crayon melted and or stinks😂

  • @joshisdead4204
    @joshisdead4204 3 години тому +61

    This is the greatest ad promo of ALL time. This is better than Dude Wipes could ever pay for

  • @benmecha01
    @benmecha01 4 години тому +220

    best segment this show has had since the pod got forcibly removed from us

  • @colbyherr1057
    @colbyherr1057 5 годин тому +144

    “I don’t want my face and name above that” 😂

    • @jhailey2000
      @jhailey2000 3 години тому +5

      had me rolling lmao

    • @sethchism1204
      @sethchism1204 3 години тому +2

      Then pat did him dirty on the outro. Barely gave him a chance to get on top of it and say "not me that's AJ"

  • @nics5395
    @nics5395 4 години тому +144

    “I probably been around the 50-75 mark before I figured it out” - Kaboly 😂😂😂

    • @mattdavies4372
      @mattdavies4372 3 години тому +3

      That's the one. My fuckin cheeks hurt.😂😂😂

    • @Alarir
      @Alarir 3 години тому +2

      @@mattdavies4372 which ones? 😂

    • @robellen1609
      @robellen1609 2 години тому

      AJ - Metamucil will set you free.

    • @MrPaCkMan0450
      @MrPaCkMan0450 Годину тому

      Sent me.

    • @TrTeMc10
      @TrTeMc10 27 хвилин тому

      Killed me 😂

  • @emiller355
    @emiller355 4 години тому +103

    Connor’s line about blind people tasting it 😂😂😂

  • @patrickpatino3651
    @patrickpatino3651 5 годин тому +111

    Yall remember in the old studio that poster of AJ pooping ?😂😂

  • @mattkampdealmachine9284
    @mattkampdealmachine9284 4 години тому +65

    “That’s what the drones are looking for in Jersey right now” 😂

    • @joshwetcher1312
      @joshwetcher1312 4 години тому +1

      i read this comment before watching and just died laughing when i cam across it broo lmao

  • @DarthBagheera
    @DarthBagheera 4 години тому +58

    JJ Watt segments are must watch. Easily the best part of the show every week without a doubt.

  • @isaiahscoggan4014
    @isaiahscoggan4014 3 години тому +9

    "I think you might be walking away dirty" 😂😂

  • @andervanburren4980
    @andervanburren4980 5 годин тому +86

    100 wipes is literally a whole roll of paper 😂

    • @bwalsh1105
      @bwalsh1105 4 години тому +3

      That’s like practically a whole 6 pack of rolls

    • @micahwest2793
      @micahwest2793 3 години тому +3

      And how would you know? 🤔 🧐

    • @m_3766
      @m_3766 2 години тому +1

      It happens once in a while

    • @therock8288
      @therock8288 2 години тому +1

      I use bamboo toilet paper seems to go faster

  • @GEfromNJ
    @GEfromNJ 4 години тому +49

    The secret to stopping the never-ending wipe is to use a wet wipe or wet TP and go up inside about .5". That stops the never-ender. Gotta get just a little past the balloon knot

    • @TheHeadincharge
      @TheHeadincharge 4 години тому +7

      Bro what are y’all talking about. I can’t be the only one who has never experienced that.

    • @jatzke609
      @jatzke609 3 години тому +5

      I'm pretty sure I would've disagreed with you before I turned 30...lmao

    • @bigbotzone
      @bigbotzone 3 години тому +3

      Bro, the secret is to sit back down because you're not done pooping. It shouldn't even be a secret. Are people this naive?

    • @bigbotzone
      @bigbotzone 2 години тому

      ​@@jatzke609Im going on 50 and the only place I really had a problem was in Iraq and Saudi Arabia when I was stationed there. Theres something in the air. Never exceeded 3 wipes anywhere else because you just sit back down until its cleared out.

    • @RAIDERTONY323
      @RAIDERTONY323 2 години тому +2

      "the balloon knot"🤣🤣🤣💀

  • @seanspeed2124
    @seanspeed2124 4 години тому +22

    I had a 30+ today I feel this convo

    • @jrob7176
      @jrob7176 46 хвилин тому

      Riiiiiight

  • @Raider870
    @Raider870 5 годин тому +50

    No wonder his basement was flooded 😂😂😂.

  • @chrisfetty6461
    @chrisfetty6461 4 години тому +15

    99 wipes and he still ain't done 😂

  • @muxpux
    @muxpux 4 години тому +44

    If I get to 10, I’m just hopping in the shower after that.

    • @xcreenplay7264
      @xcreenplay7264 4 години тому +3

      Average should be at least 5 or 6 depending on what you eat 😂

    • @akafletcherforever
      @akafletcherforever 3 години тому

      true

    • @spsawyer22
      @spsawyer22 3 години тому

      ​@@xcreenplay7264my brother in Allah...normal should be 1 or 2

    • @dm5tv56
      @dm5tv56 2 години тому +4

      The average is wipe until you’re clean. There’s a lot of dirty buns out there, apparently.

    • @xcreenplay7264
      @xcreenplay7264 2 години тому

      @dm5tv56 being real your never really clean unless you use a wash cloth or wet wipes your bound for streaks due to walking/glute activity throughout the day.

  • @PcCAvioN
    @PcCAvioN 2 години тому +11

    Worst is a messy one at work with that sandpaper tp. Aint even clean before ya start bleeding

  • @tonyarbs
    @tonyarbs 3 години тому +4

    JJ losing his mind is the best part. 😂

  • @sprN0VA
    @sprN0VA 4 години тому +10

    This is exactly why I love the PM show. They don't worry about taking themselves too seriously.

  • @powdernitz
    @powdernitz 5 годин тому +45

    BIDET GET A BIDET... changed my life! SO GREAT! tom segura convinced me.

    • @anthr0x1028
      @anthr0x1028 4 години тому +5

      a top 3 decision in my entire life. changed EVERYTHING!!!!

    • @MrJc7998
      @MrJc7998 4 години тому +8

      The aim….i almost flew off the seat the first go. Of course I went full throttle and didn’t get a kiss even

    • @MrJc7998
      @MrJc7998 4 години тому +3

      But with that said, it’s a life changing moment

    • @Mr.Weskers
      @Mr.Weskers 4 години тому +1

      I don’t like the French and I don’t like water slapping around while I’m crouched in the air.

    • @michaelmaas5544
      @michaelmaas5544 4 години тому

      @@Mr.Weskerswhat’s it have to do with the French and have you ever tried it?

  • @BryceT_19
    @BryceT_19 3 години тому +9

    @PatMcafee - AJ has never experienced never a ghost wipe? Best feeling in the world. In and out.

    • @BrianScott72
      @BrianScott72 3 години тому +4

      The only thing better is sitting down and it ends up just being a big fart! Especially as you get older and simply cannot take that risk!😂😂😂

  • @julianpena22
    @julianpena22 4 години тому +15

    This is the type of journalism i come to see from this progrum

  • @ShooterMcNut
    @ShooterMcNut 4 години тому +9

    One time, I farted and blew the toilet paper out of my hand.

  • @redcomet0079
    @redcomet0079 5 годин тому +37

    Bro that thumbnail 😂🚽🧻

  • @dancehallvibes42
    @dancehallvibes42 5 годин тому +27

    AJ uses one piece of paper at a time.

  • @airbornegrove26
    @airbornegrove26 4 години тому +13

    This is the content the fans want! 😂

  • @Riley_Mundt
    @Riley_Mundt 41 хвилина тому +3

    "Hi, you've reached A.J. Hawk. Earlier today I had the Mexican jalapeno bean chili dip, and I washed it down with a gallon of gin. I'll be in and out all day."

  • @Jebus9
    @Jebus9 3 години тому +5

    “Taste” deserved a bigger laugh. 😂😂😂

  • @blake54654
    @blake54654 Годину тому +2

    Was listening to this in my headphones live at work my boss came and told me to lay off the reefer 😂 I was crying from laughing so hard

  • @ChaelZonnen
    @ChaelZonnen 3 години тому +3

    Kaboly never disappoints…. I’ve never been more of a fan of a sports journalist than that man.

  • @REVIVALFitness
    @REVIVALFitness 5 годин тому +28

    Pat and the guys who can’t comprehend this are the genesis of “my husband has skid marks in his underwear”

    • @andrewb378
      @andrewb378 Годину тому +1

      Nah man, skid marks is like, 1 or 2 wipes short. 40 wipes is absolutely nuts. If I ever have to wipe 40 times in one go I'm going to a damn hospital that's absurd.

  • @Tommytwohawks
    @Tommytwohawks 3 години тому +5

    Bruh the thumbnail has got me in shambles 😂😂😂

  • @michaelmaas5544
    @michaelmaas5544 4 години тому +17

    If you don’t have a bidet you’re living in the Stone Age 😂😂😂

  • @evan.c43
    @evan.c43 3 години тому +1

    I was trying to contain myself from bursting out laughing at work during this whole segment🤣

  • @incredulousdisbelief9841
    @incredulousdisbelief9841 11 хвилин тому

    This may be the hardest I've laughed in a long time. I'm in tears. Thanks guys.

  • @mth4456
    @mth4456 2 години тому +2

    This segment is taking "this show stinks" to a new level.

  • @05645ci
    @05645ci 4 години тому +3

    As Flounder says in Animal House "Gee guys, this is great!" Best show ever, and this is why the Pat McAfee has it's private parking space by the front door at ESPN. Keep it the good work, guys; we need to spit it laughing all the time!

    • @wutdafeezi
      @wutdafeezi 4 години тому

      Lol he doesn’t even work at the espn studios bro do you even watch the show?

  • @themainmc5559
    @themainmc5559 4 години тому +11

    I got a buddy that doesnt wipe at all. Claims because he doesnt drink coffee, hes clean. We call him, Clean Break.

    • @erikaedwards7313
      @erikaedwards7313 4 години тому

      LMAO

    • @erikaedwards7313
      @erikaedwards7313 4 години тому

      Sounds like he's a ghost poop specialist. Those are the best ones lol

    • @Hazzo88
      @Hazzo88 2 години тому

      @@erikaedwards7313 Ghost poops are the best, they are literally a blessing. I wipe I check, I see just one hair, feelsgoodman

    • @DickTrickle1
      @DickTrickle1 27 хвилин тому

      Deep enough squat you don't have 2. Perfect technique

  • @2oozedae
    @2oozedae 5 годин тому +15

    I dont think we've raised the question of skill at wiping. It sounds like some people might be really bad at wiping, like a soft wiper. You gotta go deep and firm with a wipe, lol. cant be just touching the surface of the poop residue and not scraping it off with authority. 🤣

    • @AntKart
      @AntKart 4 години тому

      probably AJ's crooked fingers stray far away from the target area, impeding a successful wiping

  • @koreywhitaker6717
    @koreywhitaker6717 3 години тому +1

    One of my top 5 moments in my life was getting a bidet 5 years ago....absolute life changing and no chaffing.
    Only use toilet paper to dry now.

  • @lindigj
    @lindigj 3 години тому +2

    Lol AJ says "dudes talking about blood need to get that checked..." come on, after 20 wipes your butt is raw 😂

  • @MathewBranning
    @MathewBranning 4 години тому +4

    AJ is a national treasure

  • @JasonCrane-k8j
    @JasonCrane-k8j 25 хвилин тому

    When Kaboly said 50 to 75 and Pat laughed, that was genuine joy at the response.

  • @shaneanderson7486
    @shaneanderson7486 Годину тому +1

    I'm a huge fan and this is by far the funniest segment ever....I'm dead😂

  • @andrewschuschu3499
    @andrewschuschu3499 4 години тому +3

    Most offices in America have AWFUL toilet paper. It’s like printer paper. As long as it doesn’t bleed it’s a good day.

  • @brandonuddstrom
    @brandonuddstrom 2 години тому

    Segments like these are what make the show great. Cold-calling Kaboly was the cherry on top.
    All-timer.

  • @BeautyrestBlackMattressReviews
    @BeautyrestBlackMattressReviews 4 години тому +10

    Aj needs a bidet 😂

    • @justink2874
      @justink2874 4 години тому

      Japanese toilet 🤌🤣

  • @The-Host
    @The-Host 3 години тому +3

    After 5 I'm jumping in the shower.

  • @saltyalters
    @saltyalters 4 години тому +2

    TP on first & second wipe if needed. Wet wipes two or three times or as needed. TP wipe to dry.

  • @GOATsBURN3R
    @GOATsBURN3R 3 години тому

    Pats revelation of AJ’s life is always great
    He always has something wild going on

  • @justink2874
    @justink2874 4 години тому +3

    SINGLE HANDEDLY saving ESPN, while talking 💩 🍦 💩 ❤❤❤

  • @artiesparty
    @artiesparty 3 години тому

    Pure gold. Up there with the Ohio St band coming to AJs front door. Thank you.

  • @thadc5937
    @thadc5937 3 години тому

    Dbut sent me with the "lets get a checkup boys" 😂

  • @DrFatDabs
    @DrFatDabs 52 хвилини тому

    Tone was in peak form today. Preach brother! 🤘

  • @I_Am_Brose
    @I_Am_Brose Годину тому

    Omg this was the greatest 14 minutes of my day today. I laughed so hard I had tears 😂. Just as funny to watch it again and now I will share to see what truths come out from this 😁🤣

  • @lindigj
    @lindigj 3 години тому +2

    It's nice to know I make a lot less money than these guys, but I'm still living a better life with my bidet 😅

  • @mrxager18
    @mrxager18 2 години тому

    The absolute worst is a gas station dump when you only have to work with single-ply TP.

  • @ianhays2256
    @ianhays2256 3 години тому +3

    You should do a colonoscopy live on the show 😂

  • @TheFunkytownGotcha
    @TheFunkytownGotcha 3 хвилини тому

    Kaboly went from sounding reasonable to 50-75 wipes real quick.

  • @timkinley1779
    @timkinley1779 4 години тому +6

    You won't get this conversation with SAS, Lebatard, Cowherd or the NFL network.

  • @unexecutablepenguin4648
    @unexecutablepenguin4648 12 хвилин тому

    this is the real locker room talk

  • @genzinvesting8405
    @genzinvesting8405 Годину тому

    This is awesome. Jimmy Pataro has steered ESPN in the absolute right direction

  • @JeffLimberg
    @JeffLimberg 3 години тому

    Greatest Segment in Sports Show History! Laughing so hard!

  • @srinivassuresh466
    @srinivassuresh466 4 години тому

    This conversation is one the most important in modern society. Had to be had😂😂

  • @ItsTheCookingBooth
    @ItsTheCookingBooth 3 години тому

    They gave these fellas a show on ESPN. Thank God.

  • @snakeman7999
    @snakeman7999 15 хвилин тому

    Tremendous segment!

  • @C-24-Brandan
    @C-24-Brandan 2 години тому

    Lmfao 😂 you don't know where it's coming from haha I'm dead 😂

  • @lilbrucebanner3533
    @lilbrucebanner3533 3 години тому

    I didn’t know I needed this in till I saw this

  • @LuisGarcia-yh6zr
    @LuisGarcia-yh6zr 3 години тому +2

    DAWG IM 40 and a SHOWER

  • @tbone3163
    @tbone3163 Годину тому

    One of the best episodes ever!!!!!

  • @n8greatcards190
    @n8greatcards190 2 години тому

    Brah..Bidet changed my life at 44! Im in 😂😂 over 40 wipes

  • @hartattack0725
    @hartattack0725 3 години тому +1

    A bidet is the best invention that has been created to this point

  • @EthanDoores
    @EthanDoores 2 години тому

    This is the type of content I watch this channel for. 😂😂

  • @MrJc7998
    @MrJc7998 4 години тому

    A few years ago I was listening to a podcast with Jelly Roll. They said get the dude wipe bidet…..that one comment changed my life. Boys and girls, get one. You’ll never regret it. The aim 🎯 on that thing is spot on

  • @LuHazed
    @LuHazed 23 хвилини тому

    PAT needs to have the ass doc pay a visit to the thunder dome😂😂😂

  • @davidkeller9345
    @davidkeller9345 2 години тому

    this whole conversation with the ESPN logo in the corner is quite surreal

  • @mpgeist
    @mpgeist Годину тому

    I havent laughed this hard in a long time.

  • @robbyc8926
    @robbyc8926 4 години тому

    Unhinged 🤣 love this

  • @BrianScott72
    @BrianScott72 3 години тому +1

    As you get older you can’t just wait to build up a big one anymore. A good sneeze can creep up on you and afterwards you got a major problem! So if you go early, often times you are still having to wipe the last of it a dozen times! Get a basic bidet that just squirts water, no ac power needed. Use the wet wipe, squirt the water and wipe again. It will save you from having to hop up in to the sink each time! 😂😂😂

  • @chicas24
    @chicas24 4 години тому +1

    This is the greatest video to ever hit UA-cam

  • @AntKart
    @AntKart 4 години тому +3

    "Poop in my fingernails" is not a song, is a spoiler

  • @julianponce1854
    @julianponce1854 2 години тому +1

    9:53 that’s definitely the face of someone who doesn’t wipe

    • @fornhunkle
      @fornhunkle 57 хвилин тому

      I disagree, you can't risk the swamp ass

  • @puertoricoballer713
    @puertoricoballer713 3 години тому

    Lmao isn’t the saying you shake it more than twice, you’re playing with it. Wiping more than 10 times, you’re playing with it. 🤣

  • @djchaddeus
    @djchaddeus 26 хвилин тому

    This is the best convo since Orlovsky's "Fart Heard Around the World"

    • @djchaddeus
      @djchaddeus 25 хвилин тому

      (which coincidentally featured Kaboly)

  • @waites4nada
    @waites4nada 4 години тому +1

    Was this segment on ESPN or after

  • @408Charger
    @408Charger 2 години тому

    These types of talks remind me of the locker room 😂

  • @richarderbe678
    @richarderbe678 4 години тому

    “They sent wallets …”. Hard to pick that comment up. Funny

  • @MissnL1nK
    @MissnL1nK 2 години тому

    lol this made my day, thank you gentlemen.

  • @ahitch3681
    @ahitch3681 2 години тому

    AJ with another certified hood classic

  • @ISSD-Tools
    @ISSD-Tools 2 години тому

    "that's what the drones are looking for in Jersey..."

  • @TheStaticDean
    @TheStaticDean 4 години тому

    LMAO Don't flush them! Probably should get a Costco card!!!😅

  • @kidspacejam7998
    @kidspacejam7998 4 години тому

    That infinite wipe glitch sucks when you’re in a port-a-can at work. I Think thats where the saying “ I don’t have time for this ishh” comes from.😂

  • @neilpm12
    @neilpm12 4 години тому +1

    You gotta make sure 😂

  • @MasterMoose04
    @MasterMoose04 2 години тому

    I see a toilet and AJ in the thumbnail, I already know it’s going to be a banger

  • @steveoakes7072
    @steveoakes7072 3 години тому

    What kind of toilet is this guy working with...lol...how many flushes?that should be your next sponsor 😂😂

  • @joshnorko5586
    @joshnorko5586 32 хвилини тому

    I got a bidet. I used to love pooping at work but not anymore

  • @ajm.5160
    @ajm.5160 2 години тому

    Gold Bar Content Right Here 😂🥇

  • @johnvaters3353
    @johnvaters3353 Годину тому

    Tone: it’s usually after McDonald’s hahahahaha 😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @matrixxblood
    @matrixxblood 21 хвилина тому

    Just buy a bidet and get it over with 😂