Extreme OCD Made Me Believe I Was A Murderer
Вставка
- Опубліковано 16 січ 2017
- SUBSCRIBE to Barcroft TV: bit.ly/Oc61Hj
A father of five suffered from OCD so extreme that he was convinced himself he was going to murder people. Owner of a multi-million pound company, father to five children, and husband to a loving wife, Adam Shaw looked like he had it all. And yet, standing on a Sheffield bridge, tears streaming down his face, he was ready to jump and end his life. Haunted by a belief that he was going to harm and kill people, Adam was afraid to pick up knives and even pens, convinced he would use these as weapons. But Adam, now 39, wasn’t a psychopathic murderer in the making but rather a sufferer of extreme Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Videographer / director: Ben Giles
Producer: Nathalie Bonney, Ruby Coote
Editor: Sonia Estal
Barcroft TV: / barcroftmedia
Barcroft Animals: ua-cam.com/users/barcroftanima...
Barcroft Cars: / barcroftcars
Bear Grylls Adventure: / channel
For more of the amazing side of life:
For the full story, visit BARCROFT.TV: www.barcroft.tv/
Like @BarcroftTV on Facebook: / barcrofttv
Follow @Barcroft_TV on Twitter: / barcroft_tv
Check out more videos: / barcroftmedia
A psychopath wouldn't be so concerned about his thoughts or behaviors and certainly wouldn't feel guilty
Ever since I’ve read this comment I’ve thought about it every time I have an intrusive thought
I must say it doesn't matter. Logic has little to no place in OCD. For me anyway. There is only 2 ways i can stop it. I cannot mention them here
@@Gbhmagic What do you mean?
@@missmiserable it means that i cannot reason my way out of this. I wish i could. As for dealing with it since this is a public forum i cannot talk about other methods that i use to deal with it as i am not a Dr.
My harm ocd is so bad my mind will be like you wanna go shoot up places and I just cry and worry what if I’m a monster and I feel like I just can’t take it anymore and I wanna just go
I honestly totally get this. OCD and intrusive thoughts are brutal.
Katie Grooms agreed. It’s like one part of your brain fucks with another part of your brain. You can’t control it 😕
@@Rowlol I have same problem
I always fight against my thoughts
I am not monster
@@Rowlol !
@@fezan173
The original issue is trauma
Not ocd
You were traumatized
@@persevere6326 How did you know
It's so hard to talk about this kind of OCD.
It's definitely the "hidden" side of OCD that most people don't know about. It's terrifying. Thanks to this dude for talking about it so others know they're not alone!
Larilee True!!
It is one of the most difficult to understand as well. I can never describe just how hard it is to fight my own thoughts to people who tell me “just ignore them.”
@@creativeprodigies1322 you can’t “just ignore them,” but I have found in the majority of cases that becoming engrossed in some other activity makes me forget the intrusive thoughts, and once I’ve finally calmed down, I may look back on them and realise how ridiculous they were.
I know it seems impossible because the intrusive thought patterns convince you that you SHOULD be worrying and that there IS danger, but over years I’ve learned that the feeling of having a serious concern and the feeling of having an intrusive thought are different. I’ve learned what an intrusive worry “feels” like intrinsically, so now I’ve begun the work of throwing myself into some engrossing activity every time I have one, even if ignoring it goes against the distorted “logic” of the worry itself, ie “if you stop worrying about this and do something else, the bad thing’s going to happen and you’ll be a bad person!”
100% you are so so right. I finally feel like I'm not crazy and I not the only one experiencing this
that's because of how people would react if you told them, that you had urges to hurt or even murder someone. People would think that you need to be locked up somewhere immediately.
I've suffered from instrusive thoughts and hearing other peoples stories is so comforting
How do you feel now ?
@@Muhammad-pz1bp a million times better :) the right therapeutic techniques can change your life!
@@giablum5384 glad you are better , what techniques you did !
I feel like once i found out i had ocd and other people were also suffering from it the ocd didn’t have any power over me i still get those thoughts once in a while but it doesn’t affect me the way it used to
it's nice that he was in the financial position to get the help he needed. so many of us want help and can't because we simply can't afford paying thousands of dollars to treat depression. most healthcare plans don't cover mental health either. I wish there was more that could be done
Mei Yuan lol that's why we have the NHS
Andy Jones me too
Mei Yuan well, health care system isn't the same in every country....for example I live in Finland, I have no job because of my mental problems, I have been going to the same therapist since 2009 and it hasn't really cost anything. I feel bad for American's it seems that you have to be some millionare to get help : /
The NHS is better than paying the bills when you're ill and unable to work and pay.
Ocd
I had this and the fucking psychologist told me "it's not OCD if it's just thoughts" well if it's controlling your life like this I beg to differ
downthestreetteam thoughts is what OCD is ffs
that psychologist should have their degree taken away wtf
downthestreetteam yeah that psychologist is an idiot
It took me two years to get diagnosed with OCD because I was told i was just being "a normal anxious teenager." They finally took me seriously when I became housebound for months as a result of my obsessive thoughts and didn't get to complete my last year of high school. The mental health system needs to step up... it's so ridiculous.
This is literally me since I was 12. I thought I was going crazy. I can't believe there are others who suffer through this and that we are not crazy. It is such a relief. It definitely took over my life and debilitated me to the point where I avoided sleep because the panic attacks and thoughts would consume me. Thank you God, there is hope
i was in the same boat as this man. it was so severe im talking panic attacks, hiding things that triggered my thoughts such as knives, hammers etc. those false urges that gave me so much anxiety, thoughts that plauged my mind 24/7. it never ended. i tried telling people like friends and family but they never understood me. it wasnt until i looked it up and found loads of other people suffered with the same issue. i did what this man said i learned to let the thoughts in and think nothing of them and eventually they lost their power they no longer caused me immense pain and anxiety. eventually they went away all together. glad to see im not the only one who struggled with this misunderstood type of ocd.
How are you doing now? I got another flare thinking it was gone but the urges feel soooo real
@@josephinekalid8054 sorry to hear that, the "urges" are more like fears just rest assured that you don't really want to carry them out. I'm doing so much better now I don't suffer from thoughts of harm anymore.
@@who_we_are______5926 this is my second flare. Can you be ocd free and be cured without meds ?
@@josephinekalid8054 yes although it takes some difficult self "coaching" or self therapy. Meds are the easy way out and they're only temporary, you can ask me anything you want I've been through the worst.
@@who_we_are______5926 thank you!! Yeah I have my first erp session with a virtual therapist on NOCD. Can you tell me what to do with these urges? I was in the train station and had the urge to jump in front of the train and now I’m having immense urges to push someone and my mind is saying I’ll enjoy it. I have intense urges. My mind telling me to do it it’ll be kinda cool and then I just cried… I feel crazy
This is so comforting to watch. I have to constantly remind myself that my ocd doesn't define who I am.
I've had the same thing! It was really bad when it first began though. I would get panic attacks because I would be so afraid that one day I would just kinda snap and kill loved ones. Obviously, these were only thoughts and I have never acted upon them but the mere thoughts of it were terrifying and disturbed me. Having anxiety also probably made it 10x worse. What had helped me a lot though, was accepting these thoughts. You spend so much time trying NOT to think about it, which makes it worse because you become obsessed to not think certain thoughts. It's SO much easier to accept these thoughts then to deny them. Accept that you are thinking of these thoughts, and your most likely never going to act on them merely because they are just well, thoughts. I remember when I would cry because I was afraid of hurting someone randomly, so I would just remind myself that if these thoughts have been reducing me to tears, it probably means I'm not going to act on them. Thinking these sort of things doesn't always mean you are going to act on them, nor does it make you a terrible person for thinking it. Everyone has weird sudden thoughts it's just that some people overanalyze/panic over them.
whoops i didn't mean to write a lot
tl;dr thoughts are just thoughts?
Hi. Do you need medicine? My ocd thoughts were so aggressive and sexual, I wanted to end my life there, when I was just 24.
Since I took sertralin and have had good therapist, I had it under control. I never expected this. :)
I did think about medication at one point, but I never had taken any because I had never gotten to the point where i would attempt to hurt/end myself so I didn't. I think I would've if i had attempted anything, but my thoughts just stayed as thoughts and "what ifs". And to be honest, I'm a bit scared of taking any antidepressants/anxiety medication. I do see a therapist for my anxiety which has helped my deal with my problematic thoughts. I actually haven't experienced a long term violent thought in awhile now. Also, I'm glad to hear you're doing better!!
Ari You're so amazing for getting through this-my thoughts and prayers are with you 💛💛✨😌💫
For some reason I never got any alerts so I didn't even realize more people had commented! Glad my comment made ya feel better Ava ^^ we can talk if you're still up for it. Hope you're doing well!
Ari I can relate !!
No ones talks about the urges and how real they feel. It’s like a crappy voice in your head trying to tell you you have no other choice but to do something bad and how one day it’s going to happen. When in reality you know it goes against all your morals and beliefs 100%. It’s really just started as a simple disorder that works itself up to being something that deeply effects your life.
how you doing now and how did you overcome it if so
@@luh4682with rebuking them. these thoughts are demons trying to convince you to sin and fail.
I hate when people are like "I'm OCD I like things to be clean." And self diagnose their self 😒Do you EVEN know
going through this rn, ive been struggling with ocd since middle school and ive had almost every subtype. this one is a new subtype, and this one is probably on of the scariest ones i have dealt with by far. seeing that im not alone and that other people struggle with this, makes me feel so much better. for my ocd brothers and sisters, i wanna pray we're able to break this debilitating disease, and that we're able to fight through this. eventually, when this fight is won, it's just gonna be another thing we've survived. i love you all and we've got this. 💞
The intrusive thoughts caused by anxieties and OCD are horrible. I had to stop babysitting because my brain would tell me to just kill the kids I was watching. It was horrible. They still happen but thank god I've gotten on some meds and been through therapy now. It's so much better. It really is a terrifying problem. I thought I was crazy and that I should be in a psych ward so that I didn't do anything. It sucks.
jmoon2010 dang , sorry !
Jordyn Marie 3
I'm glad you got better
What meds are you on?? And are they still helping?
this video saved my life. i've come back to watch it 2 years later after getting a hold of my ocd. thank you
Same I was on the edge of suicide until I found this vid 2 years ago and now I have it under control
This guy is a badass! He is truly inspirational in not only coming to grips with his disorder, turning his entire life around, as well as helping others cope with their disorders through his website and book. Honestly, you truly are an inspirational guy and a great example to help those suffering understand that there is a better future out there. It is people like you that drive me towards my passion. Keep up the amazing work, and I wish nothing but the best to you and your family.
This is a fantastic video that both encapsulates how terrifying OCD is, while also helping remind me that I’m not alone in this struggle. I wouldn’t wish OCD on my worst enemy. Anyone reading this, just remember you aren’t alone and you can get through this.
I have this. The thoughts are worse than that of murderous, for that I will not mention. I'm doing better, but it returns in bouts, often when other life circumstances roughen up. By sheer mental strength, through reason, I've forged strategies to combat it without medication. It's very important to iron out any problematic externalities in your life that work to undermine your clarity of mind, to understand thoughts, or as a professor once called it "creative associations," are automatically generated and have no indication of who you are as an individual, and with that to create a headspace of welcoming acceptance while abstaining from rituals. Best of wishes..
Lawrence Hunt what's worse than murder? Pedophilia?
Hang on ...what!? Without meds! I would have been dead long ago without mine
@@TheSprinkleCupcake Maybe. There are even worse ones. This therapist I went to once mentioned about this young woman who had OCD about well, eating people. She felt she was the worst person on the planet for a while. We just need to understand that these thoughts and/or urges are completely unimportant in life and need to be neglected/ignored. Stay strong man!
@@justanotherguy5516 Ive had that, im 17 yo, male, and somehow i manage. Being in nature, music and a lot of physical activity helps me tremendously. Meditation and Yoga as well but it depends. Maybe finding something you really love to do and throwing yourself at it is the way to go, Im getting way better, shared with my mother today actually. Ive also had intrusive thoughts about pedophelia, hurting other and yeah, biting others yeah lol.
Getting better tho, feel like life has been passing me by because of this illness, but still, better late than never, not to late to do right and heal because i know i can, other have an i can, lets get it, lets all work towards healing each other little by little
I've dealt with these thoughts myself, and they are the worst to be plagued with. But this guy went from being on a bridge about to end his life to building a foundation to help those with OCD. That's character development.
I love seeing videos like this that show what OCD really is. Too many people have no idea how torturous it can become... and the worst is that it's your own thoughts against you.
I've gotten a lot better but I suffered from thoughts similar to his. I had thoughts that I would uncontrollably attack people, not just people that annoyed me, but just about anyone. I'd also think about scenarios where I murdered people close to me and I'd cry because I believed it would sincerely happen and that I'd have no control over it.
I'm much better now. When times are very stressful it still gets worse though.
I had a similar thing as a Christian where I became terrified I would do something sinful or blasphemous. Though for me it was more the fear of evil thoughts rather than actions, because it’s so easy to think something bad. I could do it at any time! I’m over that now though, because I’ve learned how to distract myself from these useless thought patterns.
@@gsmooth4279 how do you overcome it?
i have OCD and I've gone through the same thing. Thinking i was gonna kill others, along with other things. Its one of the hardest things I've been through and also definitely contributed to my suicide attempt
I have the same thing. But less severe
at least he had the money to deal with that.. so many don't have the money to seek help.. this world looks like it helps even those without money.. actually it doesn't..
Asher Gavin Cole the NHS is free in the uk
Beth Day I cannot comment on it as i dont know about NHS.. But most of the time, they will help only those who have some kinda residency in UK or a legal status related to UK government..
@Pepe the waiting list for the NHS isn't great, the waiting list in America can be "wait until you have a better job or you're bankrupt".
I always hide the knives under the oven on the table so that I do not hurt my son. younger one. Every time he is hugging me A thought always come to my mind that I am having a knife in my hand. I feel guilty because while hugging him my thought is giving me a negative picture. Then to neutralize the thought I make a picture of me showering cherry blossom flower and petals on him because I love him and he deserves the best.
I do the exact same thing with the petals as you 😊it kind of works
I have a really bad ocd as well. God knows what he's going through :(
Hi person reading this have a great 2k17! Your awesome and don't let someone bring u down because there not going to get u lower
Yassits Ally their*
You too!
Yassits Ally amen!
Yassits Ally Thanks! You too! 😁😁
Good vid
Thank you to this brave man for sharing his story. OCD is horrendous but recovery is absolutely possible. Absolutely it is. Just takes persistence and time
I know, what you are going through, I suffered from the same horrible thoughts and I was also near to death.
This is an unspoken subject. Thank you for being so open minded to us here
this channel should be called Isn't Life Horrible
I struggled with this for months before it slowly died down. I still have frequent intrusive thoughts but I’m able to disregard them. I have episodes every now and then when I convince myself that I will harm myself and/or others in response to something traumatic happening. A lot of times these episodes aren’t triggered from anything in particular, but I would say when it is actually triggered from something is when it gets really freaking scary.
For example, very recently I was just scrolling on TikTok as most sane people do in 2021, when I encountered an extremely disturbing video. It was of a mentally unstable individual who had just murdered his girlfriend for threatening to take away his child. He was set off because this was not the first time it had happened to him; his ex-wife did the exact same thing to him as well, and he planned on doing the exact thing to her as he had done to his girlfriend, as well to himself. The video ends with his ex-wife opening the door to his backyard and him running after her saying something I’ll never forget:
“Today is the day”
The thought of how I would respond to something like having my entire reason for living stripped away from me in the blink of an eye shook me. The intrusive thoughts flooded my brain, and I convinced myself that I too would do something similar as that man in the video did.
I’m really gonna cringe when I say this, but I used to be able to watch anything without getting the least bit queasy; by anything, I mean things like gore. I never watched it often, maybe 3-4 times at most in my life. It was really only when my curiosity was way too strong to disregard. The more I think about it, the more I believe those videos can really mess with you. Especially the ones where you see people in a rock-bottom state of mind. I guess hitting rock-bottom is my greatest fear in this world. It never really hit me that the things I saw in those videos were real. I mean, I obviously knew it was technically “real,” but I didn’t process what I was exposing myself to; that’s why I cringe looking back on it. I was stupid to look at such things
My Harm OCD wasn’t triggered from watching gore, but I definitely feel it impacted me in a negative way. But I am actually kind of thankful that I can’t withstand watching such things anymore; it was a wake up call. You shouldn’t ever expose yourself to such things because it will 150% cause a lot of emotional trouble even if it doesn’t affect you immediately.
This was long and all over the place, and I know 0 people will ever read this, but I needed to vent about it. Harm OCD is terrible, but once you’re able to face it head on, it gets better.
Thanks for sharing your story made me feel there is hope !
I've had the exact same struggle man, IT was horrible, i'm so happy you did a video about this bcus now I don't feel like "the only wierdo"
I have compulsion to make little statues of clay aiken, out of actual clay, little clay, clay Aikens. How does one stop making them? I do not know.
Me too. This is an incredible relief and a path to hope
I had this. I would never ever thought that this will happen in my life. I never thought i would need help. When i have this OCD thought i had it 24/7 days in row. I was psychicaly destroyed, i cant look at people, i dont want be around them i wanted to be alone in one roome locked up. Everytime i said to me "you wouldnt do it, you are not like that" when i goes to the internet and i read that im not with that problem and there is hope to treat this it was small relief for me, everything drops down for a moment but after 5 minutes it was back. Now its almost 2 years and my problem is gone, still going to therapist and taking medicine but im fine and free. Remember OCD and thought it can be defeated, you must be strong!
what helped you the most to get through it
Good luck to all the people who are in this place.
Good luck to you and your family for the future.
I can relate totally last year I was diagnosed with Post traumatic stress disorder, when i was 12 with Generalized anxiety, major depressive disorder and ocd. I take 5 meds a day and am always on edge thinking ill get hit by a car, murdered, poisoned or die of some kind of heart attack stroke cancer and anything else...i hate feeling stressed all the time. Because of my ptsd i have also felt completely emptionally numb for years, because of it i turned to drugs, heroin at age 15 and i still feel numb its like my only emotions are fear, guilt, anxiety. I have been clean for a while went to treatment and go to therapy weekly and have few good supports. Most important thing is to TALK TO PEOPLE WHEN YOU NEED SOMEONE TO VENT TOO, SOMEONE supportive, or reach out and know youre not alone. I know its hard to reach out. Ive been there where i felt like a bother to every one like i made their lives awful and also at some points had no support at all but reach out, go to a doctor and get connected to a counsellor or with a good friend. If anyone needs to talk please message me . i don't judge, ive seen it all. Nothing really shocks me and i am very understanding
Thank God there's someone who has the same thing I have I thought I was crazy I thought there was something seriously wrong with me but it turns out it's OCD.
We really need to reduce stigma around mental illness like this. Intrusive thoughts are just that, intrusive. They are unwanted, uncontrollable, and it is very unlikely for anyone with OCD to act on them, but it causes a great deal of internal anguish and fear. I hope more people will cope to understand this side of OCD.
I remember being 6-8 and making plans to kill my family. I still do, I'm 15. I'm scared to hurt those around me. I don't want to hurt them but I do at the same time. I think I need to get my mental health checked.
hey, im 17 right now, have had Harm OCD and normal OCD for a few years now lol. Seeing this video really really helps me deal with it and become better in many ways, thankful i've found this vid. Hopefully you are way better now, wish you the best. Idk what to say, its hard for me, has been a lot a lot harder tho, somehow im going to get through this, hopefully, AUM chanting from Sadhguru really helps, being in nature really really helps, sports and meditation help tremendously as well, hopefully you are feeling a lot better now and are healthier, you can cure this and become better in every way
I always thought that I was a psychopath having these thoughts. I didn't even understand what I was going through and what these thoughts were. I used to think it was depression. It makes me feel 19274382x better that I'm not the only person going through this and that I'm not someone crazy. I've suffered from this in the past and it really took a tole on me and made me think I was someone sick. I would never ever in a million years act on these actions but I would always have these thoughts.Reading these comments makes me feel way better.
Thank god, I'm not the only one. I've suffered from anxiety and depression for years and recently I got this bad OCD trait. It is by far the worst symptoms I have ever experienced. I would rather experience my clinical depression and anxiety. I thought my depression and anxiety were bad but I was wrong. Wow. THERE IS HOPE !
It's like you can't go a day without waking up to the thoughts...
I had the intrusive thoughts for many years, and recently it's becoming overwhelming and scary! Experiencing many panics atm, the difference with my thoughts are I think I have done something bad which feels worse because you believe I have done it. When you think your going to do something I guess you can stop yourself but atm I feel I can't stop the thoughts I've actually done something 😢
We are not alone… these are intrusive thoughts. Newsflash: EVERYONE has these intrusive thoughts. Where we differ is that we don’t just go “huh, weird” and move on, we perseverate on the thoughts and try to push them away, causing them to get stuck. We are good people, our thoughts mean NOTHING. Thoughts are just thoughts, like passing clouds. I really feel for this guy with thinking of ending it all to get some relief, I know I’ve been there. But there is hope! I know that we are good people who deserve to be happy and love ourselves. These thoughts are just episodes, eventually the next program will come
huh i always thought i was slightly psychopathic because of crime shows when i was younger but maybe it could be my ocd. now dont get me wrong i dont actually think id murder people. my ocd isnt to his extent.
Wink Blue SAME I always watch crime and murder shows and it makes me scared I'm going to become a cereal killer or something 😂
Arella00 you mean serial 😂
I freaking hate OCD.. I think I have it.. but I have intrusive thoughts too.. I've kind of learned to just ignore them.. but they still haunt and terrify the crap out of me.. but in reality everyone has seeping thoughts that come through but we are rational enough to know we won't act upon them.. I think everyone has OCD but obviously to different extents.. you could think a crazy bizarre situation by thought but you should know you could never act upon them.. you can ideate them but your body speaks different from the mind.. I like to think we all have natural reflexes that hold us back even if we try to do them.. there's a natural sense and instinct our body will give out to counter the thought impulses "irrationalities"
These videos are powerful it makes people have hope and confidence
I absolutely love this!
He is an amazing person and truly inspiring. God bless him.
I loved hearing Adams story, wish him and his family the best for the future and 2017 :)
Currently going through Harm OCD. It manifested last year after a traumatic event. I don't ever remember having an intrusive thought before; but when it developed, i did not know what was happening to me. I could not sleep,i had anxiety,panic attacks,racing thoughts,images of flying sharp objects hitting my family over and over,hypervigilance,mistaking low noises with the same stupid word. Told my family to hide anything sharp and even asked my family to let me sleep outside in case i were to wake from the 1 or 2 hours of sleep and do something in a deranged state. It got so bad i developed severe depression and thought about ending it but i kept on. Went to a clinic and was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and i was still no better from the meds. Checked myself into a mental health facility and was misdiagnosed with depressive psychosis ,but at least was given antidepressants. I explained that it makes no sense since i had recurring intrusive thoughts and i've had the same thought loops for months plus i wash my hands quite a bit. They stuck to their guns. I continued doing self-help therapy,exercise and proper nutrition to ease the thoughts. I'm doing much better now and started putting more time into my favorite hobby. Need to work on socialization,though.
i have OCD very similar to this and it feels nice to hear a story so much like mine. thinking of buying this book to help me in my recovery
Im 26 years old and i have OCD for 8 years now and going... I have thought of killing myself many times before, but i just wanna say to anyone who needs it, its not worth it... Ur life is valuable and no matter how hard it is, living with this horrible mental issue, keep up the fight... We are stronger and we can beat the sht out of OCD cause we are the bosses of ourselves and not our thoughts... Stay strong brothers and sisters and never give up! Life is beautiful, try to live it the best way you can
i felt this on every level . my ocd has taken my life from me - god help us all
I’ve been suffering from this type of OCD for a long time. I had it bad a year ago, but it went away. Unfortunately it came back this week.
I have this and they just throw drugs at me, controls the thoughts but I'm dumbed down and not my self, like an emotionless robot.
This hits home so much. I have OCD as well and went through a very hard time a few years ago. I thought that I would stab people, anytime there was a knife near me. I ended up moving cities and becoming extremely isolated. I was 2 houses down from a bridge that had a train track underneath, I'd be awake also suffering from insomnia. I'd go walking every night by the train track compulsively thinking that I would jump.
This is actually ptsd manifested.....
As a child he encountered trauma...
If you have this, you too were traumatized at a early age....
I remember this on This Morning. The presenter actually said after the break we'll see how he stopped himself from becoming a murderer! A very ignorant thing to say.. just shows how little people know about the disorder
Wow. This is too relatable. I thought I was a psychopath and that I was a terrible person and that everyone could read my thoughts and that they hated me. I have thoughts like that and it’s terrifying and draining. I avoid people and I have no friends because I’m scared of doing something wrong or evil. I just wish my parents would understand.
I have really severe OCD myself - the intrusive thoughts just put me off from doing anything related to the obsessions, and just got me very unwell, but thanks to the help of mental health services doing CBT and ERP - even via phone at the moment amid COVID-19, my OCD is very slowly recovering. News stories about Larry Nassar, Vanessa George, parents of my friend, and other serial sicko's has made me get very ill and locked in very severe OCD, because of just how serious the effects are on victims, and that mental health issues are not curable no matter what therapies or medication such people go on. If it weren't for that, it is otherwise very easy to fight off other obsessions in my mind.
I have severe ocd...but I didn't know that this was something related to that. This helped me really understand a lot about myself. I have a lot of reflecting to do now
I have suffered my entire adult life with this monster in my head . I have seen 16 different therapists all meds don’t work. I hate my life
Honestly I have thoughts like this all the time about people especially if I dont like them. The doctor said im bipolar and suffer from depression.
I was diagnosed with ‘pure o’ ocd.
I had a horrible episode of unwanted disturbing intrusive thoughts in my late 20’s . I was in extreme distress. I was 99% sure that I was an evil person and/or completely losing my mind.
It was by far the scariest thing I have ever experienced in my life .
I started to become suicidal.
I ended up in the hospital (they did not keep me) instead they sent me to an outpatient program and also started me on Zoloft. Within 2 weeks I was better.
This program and the medication saved my life and my daughter still has her mother .
For anyone reading this who may be suffering with these negative unwanted disturbing intrusive thoughts , you are not alone and you are not an evil / bad person and you are not crazy! . There are so many people who suffer from this . Do not be scared to seek help !
There is hope and a light at the end of this dark tunnel !
I came out on the other side of this and so will you !
Ps… as told to me by my psychiatrist, the simple fact that you are probably in such distress about why you are having these awful thoughts and are so concerned about it says everything !
Evil people , psychopaths etc do not question their thoughts and/or actions nor do they feel guilty about them .
I've felt like this before. I have accused myself of being something awful and even though I know I'm not. my brain still finds away to trick me into thinking I am. it is insignificant things as well yet they are important for some reason. it has ruined my life being OCD. but now that I realize that other people are dealing with the same thing. and I'm not the only one, it makes me feel better. I'm not alone.
Same it feels 😪 ugh
Omg...i feel him...i have OCD with my thoughts.I hate it.They control me sometimes.It's so difficult.The thoughts sometimes make you believe something that is not true.The thoughts haunt you.And the only solution is to accept them...and it's the hardest thing ever.I am going to buy his book.Hopefully it will help me
I just got notified about this video and I'm not even subscribed to this channel.
I had a similar thing. I was really worried about being transgender for over a year. My girlfriend left me she said “I can’t be in a relationship with a woman”
Ben Frank ... you have that OCD because the transgender topic is very disturbing to you.
Thank you I have thoughts exactly like that and I just turned 15 years old I thought that suicide was the answer but watching this help me thank you
Thanks that was very educational ....I appreciate it I actually learned something from this I just told one of my friends before watching this that I wanted to jump off a bridge now watching this he showed me a different way ❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍
I know it's been 3 years but please don't jump from any bridge, trust me it's not worth it. Sending you lots of love
I'm 13 and when I was 10, I had OCD similar to this. But ever since I got on medication it's gotten better c:
What did they give you?
Same exact thing I suffer with. This video gives me hope I will get better to 🙏
my intrusive thoughts was telling me that i cant read or understand any thing like iam losing my ability to learn and study , unfortunately its my last year in medical school , it was so hard for me suffering from ocd , finally i went to the dr and took meds , now iam much better , Iam living my life like normal ppl , no one ever can understand how ocd is hard .
My mind convinced me I was a horrible person for a long time and its really hard to talk about. It was a long, hard battle and was a hellish existence. The worst part is the fact that you beleive you deserve to go through that, there's no reassuring thought in the back of your head that knows even though your going through something tough its ok because your a good person and your going to get through it, no you beleive full well that you are that person and you deserve it all. You can't love anyone as you feel they wouldent love you and would be horrified by you, you can't love your self and you feel like your litterally living with a monster which plays on your mind every minute of the day and saps any ability to enjoy anything as you don't beleive you deserve to enjoy anything and you feel like the whole world is against you. And you feel like your one of the sickest people in society and everyone is in the right and your in the wrong. I tell you there's nothing worse than believing your a monster, its torturous. This would go on for weeks and months at a time with no end, continually, then I developed false memory ocd and began believing that id already done something horrible, it was horrible I tell you and so hard to talk about. My biggest sympathy for this man. Honestly the things your mind can do to you is horrifying to think about
poor guy. ocd is hard to live with. mine isn't so bad, but it is extremely annoying.
“Obsessive Intrusive Thoughts” is my Testimony. ✝️
My goodness, I always go straight to the comment section just to read others thoughts and opinions and it's truly sad to see how many ppl made it all about their self on this video SMFH
Anyways, poor guy I'm glad he could get some help because it's extremely saddening to see how many ppl are in society that can't get the help they so badly need for mental health.
I hope he can get better and his OCD doesn't continue to torture him.
My OCD is bad. When I was 10 I was crying for days because I had a false memory where I thought I planted a bomb in someone’s purse (I didn’t). That’s only one out of like a billion things that my OCD has done to me.
wow, cant believe i found out about this video just today. I feel this man 100%. My intrusive thoughts are around the same kind of content and it sucks because you dont want them yet theyre always there. Well, mine arent always any more because of medication, but they tend to pop up on a lot of triggers that are simply out of my control. but i dont fear them as much as i used to, doesnt mean the discomfort of having them isnt there. Its not fun to have. Having ocd that triggers uncontrolable violent thoughts you wouldnt ever want to act on and then top that off with some chronic guilt and shame not just over those thought but over past mistakes and poor choices. It sucks, and i feel for anyone out there suffering from any kind of ocd. Because it makes you feel like a prisoner in your own body. Hell i was even misdiagnosed for years until recently with schizophrenia when its actually been extreme ocd this whole time. But id say to anyone out there struggling, dont give up, you can lead a happy productive life with extreme ocd, just a lot of work.
i have an anxiety disorder. if i feel like someone is jusgeing me at all, or if i am doing a sport or something and feel like i cant do something or im not good.... i will cry and cry. it happens in class if i get confused, and sports. people think its funny and call me a crybaby. On a test one day, i cried because i was confused, and at the end a boy came up to me and said ," You really need to stop crying its getting annoying. grow. up.!" i told him about how i got it from my mom but he said that he doesnt care and that a crybaby is a crybaby and that no one likes me because of my EXTREME emotions.
Pastel&Coral's WorldMC I had the same problem when I was in school. Understanding that it isn't your fault and knowing why it's happening helps you control it better. Good luck
I would rather see documentaries about economically challenged people with OCD.
Josh Popichak Oh piss off you inverse snob. Not everyone is a peasant like you.
+Josh Popichak agreed.
Jenny J Wow, how hateful. Not everyone is entitled like you
I have OCD and I don’t think there’s any way to actually describe to someone how debilitating it really is! 24 hours a day, every second of every minute is torture! If you suffer from doing rituals, it makes it that much worse! If you don’t act on the rituals, the anxiety you get is unrelenting and will make you feel as though you’re going to die!
I get killer thoughts of doing sick things to my family and dog but I will never do this I shall never give in to this demon I shall harness this power for my enemies
Been dealing with this all day everyday for 8 years i also keep handcuffs in my pockets i have four pair laying around my room and when im about to leave i put them in my pocket and will not leave the house with out them ive been pulled over and searched and the cop ask my why i have handcuffs and he said ill pray for you these ocd intruisve thoughts are not for the weak
Its my birthday today, and I'd like a piece of cheese cake.
Happy birthday! :)
Sir.Preciliano 🎉🧀🍰
Sir.Preciliano 🍰
Sir.Preciliano 🍰
🍰 HERES UR CHEZ CAK.
ocd and homicidal urges go hand and hand. ur not alone i suffer with the same thing.
mine is like this but with germs. the ritualistic tasks are horrible, if you don't do this, you'll catch a disease,if you don't touch the light switch three times you'll get sick. it's horrible and I feel as though I'm running out of hope. no medication has helped me :(
Sometimes I think of things I don't want to think of and I end up hitting my leg repeatedly on some nearby thing to distract myself :')
Brain why you gotta do dis to me
This makes me so sad
Does anyone else’s mind tell you “I dare you to do this, I DARE YOU!” And it’s like this thought isn’t me, I have no desire to do this. And your Brain puts a word in your head and the harder you try to get rid of it, the worse it gets. And sometimes my mild will say something like “wouldn’t it be horrible if you lost your thought right now (in mid sentence)” and then it actually happens in the middle of you speaking and you actually erased your mind of thoughts and therefore can’t even finish talking? Maybe I’m just messed up beyond hope and the only one lol
Imagine having a thought on a hamster wheel under the intense focus of a magnifying glass and believing they were true and every thought ran through that lens.
I been through this for the past 6 years. It’s torture
I been past Lincoln before, but I didn't see any large farm houses like that before.
God bless you, it is extremely hard.
I have the exact problem, I’ve thought about suicide and self harm... it’s hard for me i always feel like a psychopath
chim chim hello fellow Army, I want you to know that you are definitely not alone as I suffer from pure O as well and I'm almost 22.
I've been suffering since I was a kid.
If you ever need to talk or anything about it or need reassurance I'm here for you!
I understand you, it’s brutal and I feel like a murderer. Sometimes I’d rather just die because I feel like a monster
I feel you all ! I feel disgusting but I’m glad we have eachother, also hi army !
Wow never knew that this disorder can be so dangerous.
I have this. I manage it now with therapy and medication and loads of personal study, but when it first started, I honestly believed I was insane and going to hurt someone. I stopped going around family, threw away all my cooking knives, everything I could hurt someone with. It was torture. I wanted to die. But I got help, and have been free of anxiety attacks because of OCD going on 3 years now.
This gives me hope, thank you
@@kylemos1088 hang in there-- I promise it gets better.
@@BurntOakSix Thank you so much
I have intrusive thoughts about hurting myself, it's a really scary experience
Thankyou so much
I totally relate to this except I couldn’t tell my wife. She wouldn’t understand and will be thinking I am a psychopath. Wish me luck please and god bless you all ❤️❤️
there`s a deeper message within these thoughts, acutally its a paradox cause the obsessions,the thoughts that you are afraid of are exactly not the real problem or issue (and not real at all actually) , you are made to think that,and that you should be afraid of, for example in this case, hurting people, when really the real mesage behind these thoughts its more often the opposite of the thought itsef. For example: im afraid I will hurt the people that I love= Im not confident enough to think I will be able to protect the people I love ; I may be homosexual= I am repressing my strong desire towards the opposite sex and so on,theres a real message and a fake one, the obsession is the fake one and the reason youre having these thoughts its deep within yourself , your ocd is a clue of a deeper "issue" , often insicurities and anxiety
and didnt mean to write this much, but ive read a blog that enlightened me so much and maybe this can help someone. Also being aware that you are NOT your thoughts,NOT your brain, you control your mind but when you overthink you let your mind/thoughts control you without even realizing it. you become slave of your own thoughts and mind,when really your mind its just a TOOL that you shoud use. You control your thoughts ,in fact its YOUR brain and you are not your brain`s. What your mind thinks is not what you are. The mind its a complex organ,mostly there to help humans protect and defend themselves (especially from potential threatening situations and it does that by THINKING) and it works mainly for that wether you realize it or not. When you have deep issues uncounciously ocd its a way of your brain (NOT YOU) deals with it. Also should focus on stop compulsing reather than stop obsessing. Fighting a thought just makes you obsessed with it and scared of it, and fixated on it. If youdont give it attention you dont give it power and it doesnt rule you,it only does if you give it the power to. Much easier to say than to do, but resisting the urge to think and compulse and let things go and breathe works after the first period/moments of feeling incredily wrong and guilty for not obsessing over your thoughts. Be real with yourself and remember your thoughts are generated by a complex organ that is your brain tha works for million reasons we dont even consciously realize, not by uou
lol I wrote too much but maybe somebody will understand what i mean im out
i understand. Not because i have OCD, but because I have studied mindfulness and understand a little of the concept of 'thoughts as thoughts'. 'Just thoughts, not me'. Well expressed, thank you.
~ I suffer from ocd and this is the type i have I’m i the on,y me who sometimes feels that u get a urge to hurt someone u love but u really don’t wanna ~