I suffer from this exact thing (I have been diagnosed with OCD but have rarely talked about my darkest obsessions)! Fear that I'll become a sex offender, sadistic serial killer, or similar kind of evil. Fear of getting into relationships for multiple reasons, including not wanting to let people know about my thoughts. I also ruminate over past decisions and agonize whether I'll make the right one.
@@kjwkrwklwjawThis is what annoys me so much about the „let the intrusive thoughts win“ meme. The thing with intrusive thoughts/obsessions like this is that you fundamentally _don‘t_ want to do them, you just endlessly ruminate about whether there is a part of you that might. This guy has no more actual dangerous impulses than anybody else and isn’t fighting an urge to do something terrible. He is being attacked by _irrational, unfounded_ fear that he might.
Yeah, it's scary to admit even in the comment section. The thoughts are just thoughts and if we hate the thoughts then it stays with us for a long time.
i swear to god , that part of me thinking if am evil or am loosing it because of having intrusive thoughts , italmost still haunting me but i managed to get over it . Thank God that as soon as the thoughts started i went on phycologist and he explained me that this is something that happening to other people as well and am not crazy so that made things hella better for me . Before therapy(i did only 1 time thus far) i literally thought that am just crazy and the end of my saint days just came . I was wrong obv , but the thing with this thoughts is that even if i manage not to take them as serious and not feel guilt for things i havent even done , its still make me anxious here and there and i wish i never had OCD
All Scripture is inspired of God+ and beneficial for teaching,+ for reproving, for setting things straight,+ for disciplining in righteousness,+ 17 God kingdom has taken place .
Your ocd mind will remember intrusive thoughts or strange thoughts you had from 20 or 30 years ago and given the right circumstances it will come to the surface again and overwhelm you to the point of despair even if in that 20 year period you’ve managed to dismiss the thought. If you suddenly become vulnerable through a depression etc then it can come back and floor you and give you a breakdown. Ocd can be like a virus that never goes away fully
@justmadeit2, are you the chap featured in the film? If so, thanks very much for the information and bravery! I have OCD, but not the same kind. I would be keen on having you as a friend if you’d care to contact me.
Kinda true. Had a year of peace from HarmOCD after a therapy and I was feeling really good, took my life into my own hands and started improving it drastically. But I went to work abroad thought summer season and I felt lonely, like really cause it was my first time leaving family home for this long. And around the end of the work period it triggered again as strong as it used to with same fears, urges, doubts etc...
There are two conditions I believe society has a tendency to trivialize: OCD and Bipolar Disorder. How often have you heard someone say "You're so Bipolar" or "Stop being so OCD"? Living with OCD or Bipolar Disorder can be hell. They're nothing to joke about.
ptsd???? how many triggered jokes do you hear. we all end up discounted and cast aside with hidden disabilities in general, we should try and support each other
Feel for this guy man. I have OCD too and get all kinds of intrusive thoughts, including sexual ones. Im doing well but damn it can be hard with OCD as it never goes away, you just have to learn to cope with it use tools you have learned.
Wishing you the best bro. I’m not diagnosed OCD but I’ve had sexual intrusive thoughts for a long time. It’s getting better though and I’m able to control it more now
Try the supplement GABA. It helps control looped thinking. I did a course with Dr Daniel Amen, and that was his prescription for OCD and in particular thinking, where you just can't shift gears. Worth looking into. And hypnosis could also be useful.
@@Prutamwdym by sexual intrusive thoughts. Like are you thinking this when you're seeing anyone of the gender u prefer or it's happening like all of the time suddenly or with anyone regardless of their relationship . How consuming and dangerous it is ? I mean as you said I wanna know what's the thing going on in your case
I notice my intrusive thought OCD flares up when I’m going through massive life changes. Sometimes your brain will try and protect you from harm by rerouting negative emotions into something that at first may seem impossible or ridiculous, but as you ruminate more and more, it feels like you’re giving the intrusive thoughts credibility and almost admission of your own guilt. If you are reading this, you are not alone, it happens and you can live with these thoughts. Move forward with your life and do not waste your years living in fear. The thoughts will come, give you fear and anxiety, you will acquire avoidance behaviours, and sometimes it may interfere with your personal relationships. Keep living, and you will find that when the intrusive thoughts lose their power and eventually go away, that you’re stronger and will be more empathetic to yourself for surviving the struggle of battling your own mind.
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I literally have the exact thought process. Also in my personal experience I definitely feel as if I have a sort of self sabotage. When I’m doing somewhat good I fear that something is gonna go bad. Or perhaps it’s pointless because I’m a bad person.
Same here . My OCD flared when I graduated college and came back home after internship after college graduation . I started feeling hopeless again , like the same routine over and over again . Going to work and coming back home ?… and this lead me to have a flare up . Been praying to Jesus for comfort 🙏🏼❤️
Thank you for having the bravery to talk about this. My OCD was sever from the time I even have memories. I had these same sort of intrusive thoughts as well as many others and even though I was diagnosed with OCD at 5 no one explained to me it wasn't just compulsive behaviors it was intrusive thoughts. I didn't fully understand my condition till I was 20 and started to study psychology, and until that time I thought i was just a bad person. I hope others can discover the truth sooner.
It is always the actual topic what causes the biggest strugle. The most important thing is to recognize the pattern and leave the "what if" question unanswered. Label it, abandon it. As Jon Hershfield said. Because ocd tries to affect the most important parts of your life.
As someone who has struggled with OCD from a young age, seeing others share their stories is inspiring because you know you’re not alone. Also, it’s shocking how broad OCD is and how many different types of obsessions and compulsions there are. The brain is so interesting!
While this is not my personal experience with OCD, I'm so grateful for his willingness to shine a light on this subject. I hope he has continued to thrive.
OCD patient here , have been fighting with it for more than a week now ...everyday is a nightmare for me . The kind of thoughts that i get is utterly disturbing ( r4$e , Incest , ped0) , and it almost creates this false affirmation that you will do these things to the people you love, you will do it to your father , mother , brother . That just eats me alive . I have stopped making eye contact with my mother , and my brother . Everyday is a new day for suffering . I took a counselling session today . I feel like i purposely try to think these thoughts just because i like it even though i don't and it just eats me alive . I would never in my heart of hearts do something to heinous to my parents or my brother , its extremely disgusting and disturbing ... I will win.
You’re not alone in this experience 😔 my OCD is related to those same topics & it’s absolutely stressful to have to deal with me. Specially when interacting with the ppl those same thoughts are about. I hope you get better soon, you WILL win. OCD cannot take control of your life. Keep going. Ignore those thoughts as much as you can & do things that are good for you. 🩷
Man, you're not alone. I have the same fears from intrusive thoughts, as if they're going to.happen one day and I'll lose everything. Hearing yall has made even today better. You will win. WE, will win
Started having intrusive thoughts in 2020. If it was not for a wiki article stating that those are indeed just thoughts and I'm not evil and unsavable, I wouldn't be here. It is difficult living with this though. Very difficult. And I don't even have those thoughts that often. I'm happy that changed, because I would overthink and spiral.
I’ve come to see intrusive thoughts as a GOOD thing. That’s your mind’s break check. When people should be worried is of people who DONT/CANT have them. Because those thoughts are the checks and balance systems that keep reminding you that there are consequences and life after your decisions. The people who DONT have them just simply ACT.
@@WaldoBagelToppersure, there may be truth to that, but to an extent. For someone with OCD the thoughts and the anxiety/depression that comes with them can be too much, unmanageable, no matter how irrational
Those are two excellent words to help explain this OCD - overthinking and spiral. It is such a hard illness and I am sincerely pleased you have got better. One thing I did read is that people who suffer from intrusive thoughts OCD are on average more intelligent. It's grasping at a small positive - but then why not after all we have to cope with so much. All the very best to you. Your positive change gives me hope so I thank you.
"thoughts are not threats fears are not facts" a clear evidence (playing with rhyme) of someone with OCD same here i do believe some part of "cause" must be in your creative career as a director or writer or both, you must be "obsessed" with your thoughts, characters, and even their thoughts all of them happen to be not real by the way, really appreciate your courage to speak out let us stay strong, stay calm, and stay obsessed (in a good way as you said)
As a human and as a person who went through self struggle and getting the help that is required in the right moment in life, I truly moved by his speech and the courage when he shared his story. It is true that the more you speak about it the less power it has❤. Those last words of his should be made into big billboard quotes and should be put out. "We ALL Have our Daily life struggle and it's upto us to work on it...still working on it on Every single Day". wonderful one to watch😊
I have hocd and im straight but i keep doubting im gay. I would get unwanted erections and anxiety looking at anything to other men. I lost all sexual urges and desires that i used to use as my motivation towards my self improvement. Now i feel no motivation and im trying my best to get my motivation and natural sexual desires back. Any of u boys and girls suffering from something similar, i am with u .
I'm sorry were you saying you keep thinking you are gay? You said doubting you're gay, but said you are straight? It was confusing to read Sorry about your struggles and wish you the best. For me I've lost all sexual drive whatsoever and totally feel that lack of motivation for self improvement. I've stopped trying to date. Have only had sex twice in the last year. I never get horny or have the desire to masturbate. It's just gone. Also my period is gone too so idk whats going on with that. No I'm not pregnant BTW.
@@DoorsToHideBehind156yep im suffering the same thing. No motivation or sex drive or the masculine urge to go into self improvement. I totally feel you. U feel much desensitised sexually.
@@Unstoppable7x I spent years wondering why I was attracted to both, and feeling especially ashamed that I was aroused by men. Until I met others who had similar patterns, anxiety and confusion, and I realised that my desires/ feelings were valid and nothing to be ashamed of. For me, I've realised that it's not just about if I'm attracted to male or female. It's about who a person is, and acknowledging I like a mix of both masculinity & femininity and spend time with people who don't judge me for that.
@@JWMcLay yes now i dont care about my intrusive thoughts. If i see a man whos good looking or has a nice personality i like them as in their image and it doesn’t mean i like them sexually
I was diagnosed with OCD a couple years ago and I take medication for it now, but sometimes my brain will just tell me I don’t actually have OCD and it’s just an excuse for my thoughts, and I am actually just a bad person. Or I constantly worry I am a narcissist, however I rationalize I am not because I tend to feel a lot of empathy for my friends and even strangers. Exposure therapy and opening up to people has been a great help and overall relief when bad thoughts tend to flare up!
A brilliant therapist once told me- if you’re afraid you might be a narcissist or sociopath, you’re not. A sociopath wouldn’t care either way or feel guilt and a narcissist wouldn’t take the time stressing something that isn’t benefiting themselves or blaming someone else.
I was diagnosed with it and have CBT each week. Mines around contamination. Add that I'm Autistic (diagnosed) it was a nightmare during the pandemic and I'm still not over it's impact. Haven't dated in 5 years or even touched a man in that time and have been single for 16 years. I'm glad you made this video as online a lot of people use OCD as some trendy label when in reality it destroys lives and has nothing to do with somethingnot being lined up etc. I'm glad you are doing better with it.
When you've been a diagnosed OCD for 20 years but nobody ever mentioned or questioned you about all the sex stuff because you were 12 at the time so you've spent the better part of your life being terrified that you were some pervy sicko, and are now lamenting at how you were doomed from the start because nobody was ever going to have that discussion with a 12yo. Honestly, I'm so shooketh right now that my body has gone cold. I was just casually watching some YT with dinner after a long day and clicked the video without much thought. I was totally not ready to be confronted with this rn. 😭
I had really intense intrusive thoughts during a really tough part of my life. Surprisingly they seem to have disappeared over time, but I can’t help but feel like it’s left some sort of impact on my mind
It’s like being in a complicated crime detection story where you have the feeling that you are responsible for the wrong in your life and you have the added responsibility to try to bring yourself out of it. You feel you are the criminal and the crime solving detective at the same time. As you say talking about it goes along way to resolving why you self destruct like this. I’m an ongoing case the same as you and I’m in my 60s now. It seems it’s a lifetime of commitment to work on yourself with bits of self emerging every so often and old bits getting forgotten about. Good luck to you on your journey.
Thank you so much for sharing, it’s so hard to share and talk about OCD. Broke down crying hearing you talk about the feeling of being evil, and carrying that weight, and not being able to tell anyone. It started when I was ten. I thought my life was over
Once upon a time, when societies were high functioning, a man would have to sacrifice his life for someone else before society deemed him brave. But then along came soccer mom Sally and she decided that everyone should get a medal. So now a man can admit he thinks about b**bs once in a while and Karen here will call him stunning and brave. He's basically there next to Schindler.
My therapist told me that she believes I’m in a sort of “remission” from OCD now. YAY! I went from almost having to drop out of college to living a (somewhat) normal life. I have had sexual OCD, harm OCD, religious OCD, suicidal OCD, contamination OCD, psychosomatic OCD, and there are probably some I’m forgetting. I’ve learned that if I don’t assign meaning to my intrusive thoughts, they don’t intrude very much. Another thing I think people with this kind of OCD need to know is that non-OCD people sometimes have disturbing thoughts, too. The only difference is that they don’t take them seriously, so they don’t think about them again. The medication I took helped control the thoughts until I could really understand what they did and didn’t mean. I still take medication because I also have been diagnosed with depression. Also, I had a tic disorder as a child, and the medications keep that from coming back as well. Anyway, the point is that you CAN recover. Don’t give up. And keep in mind that you may have to try many medications before finding one that works for you. If for some reason you can’t take medication, there are great therapists out there, and some really helpful books as well. Also, I would like to thank all of the people out there who are telling their stories. When I first started with my obsessions (around 2006), NO ONE was talking about this side of OCD. We were suffering in silence, too afraid to tell anyone about our thoughts. We’ve come a long way since then. I hope that we continue to spread awareness until one day, no one has to worry they will become a serial killer/pedophile/rapist because of a stupid thought they have no control over.
I dont know if i should be happy that i saw this video right now or upset that i didnt see it when it came out like one year ago, but ive never even remotely felt like ive been called out so brazenly before.
I used to think too much. My brain doesn't like effort, so it spins and runs data at a disturbing rate ( for me at least ), by subconscious command it seems, to find a gateway or a system that allows me to escape the turmoils and hardships of existence and achieve peace, happiness, or both. I came to the realization that all of it is triggered by fear of death, imbedded inside my genetic code, by instinctive and primal mindset. I work on dissociating from these concerns, which I consider thoughts pollution, by quickly evaluating my present situation and state, and applying on getting rid of any personal limitations awareness, to finally identify as an instant in time, no tasks, no purpose, breathing air, being, and that frees me from overthinking. I think it's a very bad and unproductive habit, 'cause when eventually, a great thought, or image, nests on your head, you're usually too tired to surf on it. The best moments in my life, my brain was shut down. We don't have to know all the answers is my point. Just be. Be you. You're all you need. Hope this helps somebody.
Thanks, I saved your comment as I think it helps me better understand my situation as my brain is also doing the same and it stems from the fear of death too.
It helps me. I have the same mind although death doesn't scare me. It used to and I found once I was able to no longer worry that helped a lot. Your points on be in the moment, in the instant, etc. certainly helps too. There is some debate about how much we should use distraction to keep unwanted thoughts at bay, but I find it very helpful. Tiring for sure. Apparently, most OCD sufferers have a high IQ and our brains do tend to overthink and never shut down. The looping effect in the front cortex is what keeps us fully charged all the time. Your post is very kind and sincere. A lovely commentary to bring some comfort and hope for so many. Sincere appreciation indeed.
You were very fortunate to have loving supportive people around you. Some of us have attracted broken people into our lives who somehow perceive and use these negative energies, we are for the most part unaware of, to control and manipulate us.
I had this in my teens and early twenties as a WOMAN. It’s already quite rare but my age and gender definitely made me more of an outlier. It was debilitating and I truly thought I was a pedophile or would become one. I would research female sex offenders but just couldn’t relate to the utter evil that they would all show in one way or another, along with shared symptoms or illness between these offenders that I, again, couldn’t relate to. Absolutely no sources I found spoke of anyone as young as I and without any previous experience of trauma especially sexual abuse. It wasn’t until I felt my head was going to explode with these disgusting thoughts (in hindsight, that feeling is now a common occurrence that is directly related to the OCD) that I felt I had to share this horrid experience to ensure I didn’t become a true pedophile. I trusted my psychiatrist completely and had told her many shameful and embarrassing things but I was aware of the seriousness of the situation if I was truly a sick person. So after being admitted into hospital, having too much time to think and more access to therapy style sessions with my psychiatrist. I wrote it all down, the exact thoughts and my thoughts ABOUT those thoughts because I couldn’t verbalise such horrific stuff out loud. I remember her reading my notes. I remember looking into her eyes as they were glancing along the words of my weird sentences trying to grasp any hint of what she was thinking and feeling. Nothing showed. At the end, as my throat began to feel like it was swelling shut she began to sort of chuckle a little bit and look at me in sort of relief, sort of like she felt pity on me. She simply stated - These are called intrusive thoughts and you are absolutely not a pedophile. I was taken back, what are intrusive thoughts?! They are my thoughts, after all, right? Surely I mean what I think. I am me, after all. Turns out, you can absolutely have thoughts that go against your own beliefs and morals. This is normal and everyone has them. More many they are just fleeting thoughts, though, where they go and come like all other useless thoughts. When you have OCD however you can get so obsessive about these thoughts that they become more and more prevalent, emotionally attached and confronting. So you start to do things to prevent or redirect after these thoughts, and that behaviour becomes a compulsion following the previous thoughts and round and round and round and round and round and round we go, for life presumably. I haven’t had these thoughts for a couple of decades now and am so thankful my doctor knew of this disorder. Thanks for being so open. ❤
l also had this (only for a short period) as a woman! Especially when I started to work with children I got paranoid. But I quickly found out it's like OCD behaviour and I kept on going to work and it passed in a week or two. So for some reason I had understanding about the nature of mind and that I was just afraid. Of everything. And my innate goodness.
@@you-vi2tm PLEASE HELP ME. It happened with me too and it’s been a month. It all started with my aunt telling me about her child (which I sometimes get to babysit) that she was having rashes in the skin (turns out its just a normal illness sometimes kids get) but I got so uncomfortable when she mentioned that she got that in the groin also. So uncomfortable i started trembling and after that my mind started racing wondering if I ever did something to her when I could never imagine me being able to do that.
I think my comment might help some bit. You are 100% correct you can have thoughts that go against your own bekliefs and morals. In fact intrusive thoughts OCD is egodysmorphic meaning what you are scared of doing or being is the very last thing you are likely to ever be. That is why it fills you with such fear and dread. But you are not an monster of any kind, rather most likely a very kind and caring person who thinks about others with genuine care. If you want to read my waffle. I've had this for 30 years now and I know of a man in his 70's who only recently revealled his fears and indeed he was diangosed with OCD - all those decades wasted. Now people are beginning to understand this horrid illness and just how draining and soul destroying it can be. Yet there is hope... Cut and pasted section.. These are the scientifically proven strongest emotions Anger, Fear, Sadness, Disgust & Enjoyment. Fear is massively influential on people especially those with a disposition of kindness and a tendency to feel guilt over the smallest things. The word that needs to be mentioned is EGODSYMOPRHIC - that for OCD people means fearing about things you might be that are the actual anthesis (opposite) of who you are. i.e. What scares you the most, or who you care for the most, are the things you worry about doing wrong and causing harm. It is the opposite of who you are. People who suffer intrusive thoughts OCD actually are the very least likely to actually ever act out those thoughts. Many mothers who are frightened of harming their newborn is because they love that baby more than any other individual. That may not be OCD but it a similar kind of mental trickery our minds can play on us. Recalling or knowing of vile behaviours others have engaged in is incredibly distressing to the person with OCD. The first reaction is disgust and fear and instantly becomes what if I did that or what if I am that type of person. It is the ultimate disease of unwarranted DOUBT. People without OCD may have the fearful thought for a few seconds but are then able to realise it is nonsensical and simply move on. But those with OCD it is so scary it becomes an obsession, and it builds into a nightmare that seems to never go away. Hence the compulsions and so forth to try and push these fears to the back of your mind. Sadly, long term that doesn’t help but just makes the sufferer feel worse. It truly is one of the hardest mental conditions to deal with and is listed in the top 5 chronic mental health conditions for severity. OCD sufferers in truth are most likely to be the least self-centred, caring and kind people in society. Society in return needs to have faith with OCD sufferers. Don’t jump into judgement and let fear make you mistrust the individual with OCD. Studies have shown that virtually in no instances has an OCD patient ever committed a crime or misdemeanour of what they fear. They basically find it extremely rare. In fact, most cases of such offended are far more likely to happen pro-rata by those without this mental illness. Some religious indoctrination (not attacking general people of any particular faith), harsh parental judgement and strict forms of obedience and expectations in childhood can often lead to the development of OCD as many of these things involve an emphasis teaching consequence and fear. Of course, other factors come into play. The brain has a section where a loop function occurs in the mind of an OCD person, which doesn’t in those non-OCD individuals. This loop causes the build up in fear that takes over the mind and to put in bluntly scares the sufferer to a point of near torture. Everyone has unwanted intrusive thoughts but only about 3% have OCD. Society needs to open up and share in dialogue about this illness just as we have improved with depression and other forms of mental illness. OCD people need support and understanding. The last thing they need is for ignorant people to be aggressive and distrusting. Remember OCD people who suffer from intrusive thoughts are THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT THEY FEAR. If they are to have the courage to seek medical help and support than society itself needs to become more educated about this beyond the stereotyped examples (of which nevertheless can be common and true) but intrusive thoughts can latch on to the deepest parts of our being, our fears and worries and concern for those with love. People who suffer from Intrusive thoughts OCD can lead a life of hell. They need support. What we don’t need is society, especially in this social-internet age feeding fears with distrust, ignorance or worse denial. What I found hardest is to love myself, which I still struggle with, but it is the best place to start, for you may or may not think you are a good person, but those who truly know you, are assured in what a great person you are.
I have sexual OCD, but thankfully, I'm doing better now, and it doesn't bother me as much anymore. 4 years 👍. However, I am still on medication. What helped me were a combination of medication, eating healthier, working out, and taking walks outdoors. As mentioned at 3:10, "I don’t take my thoughts as seriously as I did.” Help is available. Don’t hesitate to reach out.
Thought I might add this. Guilt can be conscious or unconscious, retrospective or prospective, directed inward or projected outward. Guilt can be a catalyst to self-reflection and change, but it is often counterproductive. It can “twist, distort and corrupt” our emotions, resulting in self-loathing and doubt. Therapists warn of the dangers of an overabundance of guilt: guilt that’s unexpiated or unresolved or obsessive. OCD sufferers so often have such huge guilt, expanded or even evolving from fear. Try not to beat yourself up. You are not your fears. Intrusive thoughts OCD is EGODYSMORPHIC - meaning you are the opposite of what you might fear you are or fear you might do. In essence your brain is tricking you, taking your values and making you think the worst of yourself, which in fact is the opposite of who you really are; which is a kind, caring person who is way too harsh on themself. To have no guilt by definition, is to be sociopathic a mental health condition in which a person consistently shows no regard for right and wrong and ignores the rights and feelings of others. For me this rings 100% NOT the case with those who suffer Intrusive Thoughts OCD. In fact in my 35 years with OCD I have found others with the same condition full of abundance of empathy for others. Loving, kind people will always worry about others because they care and are often near selfless.
I had this obsession years back and it was debilitating as hell. I was able to overcome it with therapy and medication (which I'm still on today). You're not alone and it does get better!!
@@essenceEdit Zoloft, 200 mg - usually they don't go past 150 mg but studies have shown even higher dosages benefit OCD so my doctor let me increase to 200 and I haven't had issues for years (knock on wood - still have flare ups but they go away within a day).
I’ve suffered with this for a while now. It had me believe I was a sick and evil person once: thinking about my best friends partners, lacking attention during conversations because you’re just thinking about them naked, and even thinking you’re a danger to people. None of it is true, but thinking the same thoughts over and over again is torturous. Bringing it up to people and telling them straight up has helped me the most, no matter how uncomfortable it makes anybody. I can’t help it, so why hide it?
A big part of recovery is trusting myself enough to love again. And it's a constant daily battle. But I am working on it. I go through this every single day 😭💔
My ex had to wash his hands for 20 minutes at a time multiple times a day. It affected our intimacy, and so many other factors of a relationship that was on and off for 7 years. I truly felt helpless and heartbroken for him. Sadly I went on my own way and left the relationship. It broke my heart but I had to tend to my life and mental health before I put anyone else before me. I truly wish he finds peace and happiness in his life. Thank you for sharing, it takes a lot of courage.
i highly recommend the audiobook "Complex PTSD from surviving to thriving " and also 1week deep dive course called Hoffman process (i wish i knew about it before)
Agreed. Contamination OCD usually stems from childhood sexual abuse. 1 in 3 women were sexually abused as a child. 1 in 6 men were sexually abused as children.
I also suffer from sexual OCD, which can be taboo in nature, among other themes and compulsions, both mental and physical, and let me state to anyone who is looking into this to help a friend or family member, it is utterly debilitating, it can the person question themselves, their morals, their character, it's like a constant judge, jury and executioner in your head, like a constant horrible radio static in your mind that you can't turn off, and none of these thoughts are wanted, so please treat people with this or any other OCD with compassion, patience and understanding, we didn't choose to have this condition, and to anyone else here that has OCD, you are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for, keep on going, seek treatment if you think it will help, you are not the monster your mind makes you out to be, you are someone afflicted with a horrible mental health condition, but, like most conditions, it can be managed and treated well with the right care. Thanks Martin for sharing and spreading awareness.
I know I'm a bit late on watching this video, but thanks for talking about this. So, a bit of a story: So, while at the time of writing this, I'm not diagnosed with anxiety, Depression and OCD I define know that I have all 3 in various waves. So my anxiety stems from different things. Like not being around my parents, who weren't even married in the 1st place, yet lived together for a short time. I have insecurities about being judged for my past with not being around my parents that much and living with my grandparents instead. And being judged for loving art. I'm currently a freshman at community college studying in digital arts. I enjoy creativity and love to write more now than I previously did yet from growing up and currently still live in a small town I felt like kids were judgmental about stupid stuff even if I wasn't bullied. Another thing that I can relate to is how, while currently 20 male, I've never been in a relationship with a partner before yet worry that I'll screw something up since when seeing how my parents were a bit reaklass, when they were my age, makes me a bit worried about dating at times. Btw my actual parents are doing better, in some way. My mom married my step dad some years ago, and my dad has been with his gf for quite some time now. My dad lives nearby in a town close to mine so driving over to see him is easily than my mom,step dad, and my 3 siblings since they live in another state that while bordering mine is a long drive. Also I'll admit to doing masterbaition often. Good news while starting college I've been seeing a therapist whose helping me. I've so far gone for 2-3ish months, so I'm still new. Anyways if you read this far thnx for your video and I shall continue my passion in the realm of digital arts and hopefully someday write my own story for an animated series on either YT, a streaming services or maybe tv.
I have contamination Ocd and sexual ocd. The contamination part is the compulsion to completely avoid the ground and anything associated with bacteria, viruses, bodily fluids, organisms etc. So you can just imagine how many things are dirty, doorknobs, switches, almost everything. The only way I can remove the dirt is by washing or taking a bath with antibacterial soap. And my only clean space is my room, except for the ground in my room. As for the sexual ocd part, I have been celibate for 10 years. The last time I made out with someone, I had to brush my whole mouth, tongue and the deepest crevicess with antibacterial soap until my mouth bled. And I rushed to the lab to have all kinds of blood tests for stds. As with masturbation, I had to scrub my whole body with antibacterial soap and loofa twice so once in a while I can tolerate that ritual, but the sexual contact with other people part is too difficult for me to handle..
You are an educator! You’re brave and helping others recognize what’s actually happening with our loved ones and ourselves. I’m not surprised the UA-cam algorithm matched me with you but I’m glad it stumbled into this! Thank you!
It's completely normal to have aberrant thoughts. We all have a shadow side and it manifests differently in different people. The thing is to see the totality of ourselves, of who we are. One thought, or type of thought, doesn't define us. I'm glad this young man sought professional help. Such thoughts, in certain individuals, can lead to disastrous results.
I dare say that there is no person acting out their intrusive thoughts. That is because intrusive thoughts are derailed control mechanisms. People who commit horrible things do NOT experience them as intrusive thoughts, but as interests they are absolutely in harmony with. As such, intrusive thoughts do not represent a secret evil half of our psyche. Instead they represent a part concerned about safety, that got very anxious about not messing things up.
As a female with ocd and agoraphobia, my paranoid thoughts revolve around the fear that every man I interact with sees me in a sexual way... good to know it goes full circle..
Yes. Thank you! I feel understood. When I had my first breakdown and was diagnosed i was having so many unwanted, intense and intrusive thoughts on many things that are not like me, yet they were (and sometimes still are) so distressing because they go against everything I am not and they are things that I would never do in a million years. For example i do regular daily prayers and I had a lot of religious themed thoughts that were so distressing, i thought something must be wrong with me or that I was some sort of evil or bad person, but the way my doctors explained it was that the OCD makes you think the opposite of who you are and that’s why these thoughts are so distressing to each individual that has them and that was a huge relief for me when they told me this.
I’m ”approved” to start OCD treatment this fall, after having lived with some version of it for around 20 years. It has mostly increased over time, but some periods it has actually decreased, but only a small and maybe not very noticeable amount (some people who know me though have noticed). My obsessions are mostly about ”nicer” things; creativity suck as writing and playing music (I’m a musician), but it seems compulsionary creativity isn’t always that creative…😬) I don’t really know if I have an OCD diagnosis; I just know I have an Asperger diagnosis, but maybe there is one without my knowledge, since I will get treatment. Been on meds for a couple of years. Greetings from Sweden
I was the person in this video, for the most part. I would like to take the liberty of giving some advice of my own, from my own experience. If you're going to seek professional help, consult a respected and well known university for a referral. Don't trust your mental health to just anyone who hangs out a shingle.
Recognizing the medium intrusive thoughts and the rumination and guilt has made it much easier to ignore and dismiss the thoughts for me luckily. I used to have some intense habits around blinking as a kid, that came with intense fears. It seems silly now, but it's easy to get stuck. I'm grateful for the classmate in my psych class that pointed out a line of thought I was having was just my OCD, not anything true about me. I hadn't realized how pervasive it still was. Sometimes it has to be pointed out no matter how self aware you are.
It‘s absolutely true and necessary to understand that we are not our thoughts or our feelings. We always have the choice to get to know the truth. Without the help of others it‘s mostly like imprisoning and throwing away the key.
As a woman, I’d just be happy to be able to get diagnosed with anything I’ve tried to talk to psychologists about. It took me YEARS of begging to my family doctor to even get basic escitalopram pills. I’ve had a psychologist deny me medication due to what he thought was “reactive anxiety” (basically: he told me I have a habit of over reacting/being over emotional only in certain situations). That same psychologist was also checking his phone constantly, checking his watch constantly, asking me to repeat myself multiple times and asking the same questions over and over again. He even accused me of lying about my home life because I described how I have 2 families (my moms house - I lived with my mom/step-dad/half-brother for the majority of my life and only was with my biological dads family on weekends. Bio dad’s family included him/my step-mom/2 step-sisters/a second half-brother). Women just aren’t taken seriously when we come to people for help with mental health issues because the majority of people basically just say variations of “it’s normal for a woman to be over emotional. Deal with it”
I started medication for my OCD at the start of this year which has helped reduce the intrusive thoughts. I’m also currently doing EMDR with clinical psych. It’s helping. I can function again 💙
The thing is, you don't get 'obsessed' with something. Compulsatory behaviour and habitus lead you to state of obsession, but compulsions themselves are the driver. Simply said, compulsion is a fearful 'must' from your deep emotional being. End the cure is to sense and jump over every "must" from your inner being, and to regain personal freedom.
I can relate to this in every single way. I’m literally 31 going to be 32 this year I’m currently in film school and struggling with being creative because I’m sexually repressed. It’s amazing how others have similar experiences
Yes. Thank you! I feel understood. When I had my breakdown and was diagnosed i was having so many unwanted, intense and intrusive thoughts on many things that are not like me, yet they were (and sometimes still are) so distressing because they go against everything I am not and they are things that I would never do in a million years. For example I had a lot of religious themed thoughts that were so distressing, i thought something must be wrong with me or that I was some sort of bad person but the way my doctors explained it was that the OCD makes you think the opposite of who you are and that’s why these thoughts are so distressing to each individual that has them.
Thank you so much Martin! I think you just saved my life, after ten years of this hell, I thought I was all alone, I was just about done with all of it today, thank you so much man!!!!
The best thing about this video is he acknowledged his struggle and work to solve it some indulge and get to a place they feel irredeemable If u feel a thought is unlike you don't try to act it out thing it will resolve itself Like a nightmare our mind not the perfect reflection we act it is
I was reading that gay men are overrepresented in OCD cases. I'm gay and I have huge issues with constantly "checking" various aspects of my body and male identity. Nothing ever feels natural to me, my body has never felt like home and I dont have a sense of self at all. Or any sense of agency. When I talk about these things with anybody they think my problem is self pity, but it's not the same.
I sufferred with obsessive compulsion in thought and action until I discovered a massive Vitamin D deficiency paired with iron deficiency. Other issues included low copper and B vitamins. Addressing them completely wiped these issues out.
Hi. I have officially diagnosed with ADHD, which I discovery by myself earlier and one psychiatrist told me I am a OCD type person...??? I have some little... very little just a few compulsions which looks like contamination OCD compulsions, but my intrusive thoughts are generally and mainly about two big topics... Bullying periodically during life and sexual intrusive thoughts... First is definitely Trauma... mainly childhood, but in fact periodically during whole life (now I'm 48). But I have had just few sex during life and have no full-blown, real romantic/sexual relationships (just one fling, one so called 'one night stand' and prostitutes whom I've paid - body count 12 where 10 were prostitutes). And I lost my virginity at 23... And after 27 till 47 (during 20 years) I have no any sex at all... during 1 and a half year I was with 7 prostitutes go to them periodically... Now I always think about sex and nervous about lack of normal sex and lack of many sexual partners during my life... Always nervous about 'body count' and have no 'normal' romantic/sexual relationship, nervous about that I had have not girlfriend at all... So I have question and no one (I mean first of all mental health providers) still explain me what condition I have... and what level of severity... OCD, Trauma-related OCD, CPTSD and/or AvPD....????????? I hope your life a lot... MUCH better now and you were found and maybe even more find about what happen with you and be even better and better... It's very important to find not exactly the truth about self and world around you but maximum be near to truth... Good Luck and Good Health to You and Thank You for this video...
to people who don't know anybody with ocd or think this video's depictions were so unreasonable and easy to deal with, i want to say, it's much worse than what's been lead out. Like depression you can't depict the hurt it causes to yourself without looking like you just 'seek attention' or 'need to be hospitalized' and the fear of the latter happening or getting the wrong kind of attention from the condition is what fuels it.
It is only just now that I have entertained the thought of having OCD because I didn't have the right idea of what it is and how it's misrepresented by media. The whole time I have bad cases of being impaired mentally and rehearsing thoughts over and over again, and just taking breaks when I do some normal day routine just realizing the thought is still there. Has been the case with my personal life and relationships. I'm just lying in my bed for the past three hours ruminating, and it will be like that for the latter part of the day as well. I've avoided relationships to not experience this, and have avoided people too. Still undiagnosed but I'll get myself checked soon
I have contamination concern too. But mine manifests as a fear of chemicals. Perfumes, cleaning products, sprays, anything. I go into flight mode when I’ve breathed something in. Needless to say my home has zero air fresheners or cleaning chemicals.
Yes i understand what your going through to the point i thought I was a monster, i still struggle but i have a family and wife to look after. You genuinely believe you are sick and should be locked away but then you feel better then the next day or next week you feel the same way and its a vicious cycle. 😢 Hope people can find peace without harming. The scariest thing is your mind is powerful enough to make you believe you are that sick person your scared to be. My OCD gives me visions that i live with and it's like being in a Halloween movie but it's all in your head .
I suffer from the same thing its been on and off for me since i was in middle school I'm 38yrs now and it feels worse than ever i hope i can find help this this man has. I dont want to live anymore
I really do believe that we all have some of these symptoms at some stage in our lives. I first noticed that I had developed a ritual over the way I settled myself onto the toilet. Then it was an aversion to sitting on any seat other than the porcelain and another was to rip off three sheets of paper but use the third one first and the first one last!!! (which I still do 60 years later. ) Using an ancient set of cutlery for my main meal rather than my good and expensive modern. Rotation of my very up-market watches in their occasional use but NEVER wearing a watch unless it is for a verifiable occasion. Another is my delight in wearing other peoples expensive cast-offs instead of buying new clothes. So many little things. It amused me, the traits of my ex who refused to accept that the compulsions he had/has exist/d. The total lack of compulsions in my first and greatest love. Self obsession is a compulsion but I believe that the best way out is to fall in love and concentrate on the hundreds of things you then do, to demonstrate, even if only to yourself, how deep your love for them is!! We are all complex and it's not to be dwelt on: a lack of self confidence and worth perhaps, no matter how accomplished we are.! Just go away and enjoy being quite a D.O.T.D. (dish of the day)!!!
I used to have thoughts and ruminantions and one day, out of desperation, i called out to God and my life has never been the same😢 I wake up feeling peace in my mind which is something i never thought I could experience after years of struggle.
0:43 Fell in love for the first time 1:10 “Negative questions as to who I am” “What if I’m dangerous” “What if I’m evil because I maybe a pervert” 2:05 being a afraid of sex? 2:40 but washing your hands till you bleed because your a “pervert”… Where did you learn this BEHAVIOR? 3:00 therapy is the real help boosting drugs make it seem like self diagnosis makes sense… when it doesn’t. 4:23 Wow diagnosis at 23 with no family support until almost 9 years later…? Wanna address the possible causes?
I used to be more ashamed. My brain wanted me scared. Not just that I might do something, but that somehow being assaulted was Inevitable for me and that I needed desensitize myself in order to “prepare”. Its debilitating being forced to think of the most disgusting things every waking moment just so I can feel in control. As it turns out, BDSM helps with the shame instantly, and literally having absolute control over the scene is so healing. Anyone shaming the more taboo kinks is incredibly misguided. Its the only solace some people can get.
How are you now? I'm going thought the same thing. Like a feeling I need those thoughts cause they need to happen and I need myself to prepare for it and just get rid off my morality. Scarry to think about and causes so much distress especially since I started feeling stuff I was scared I will make myself feel and it's terrible. Can this be undone? Can this be fixed? Since I used to react to similar stuff quite normally and not feeling such feelings.
I am neurotic about sex. Performance anxiety, usually have to get comfortable with someone before I can climax & can only make myself climax which I think is very weird, have obsessive fear that if someone looks me in the face I will DEFINITELY not be able to climax...I don't know if that's OCD related, I think it's just anxiety which I have a general problem with anyway...Never heard of this described as OCD. Good video.
I'd say obsesive compulsion about sex is fairly normal for teenagers. Up to a point regarding age, intensity and function. Limerince could also be considered an obsessive compulsion. Again, up to a point. What you describe is well beyond any point of comfort and function. Thanks for sharing.
I was diagnosed with OCD in my late teens after a suicide attempt driven by thoughts like these. I was later diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and personality disorder after a few more acts of self harm. Ironically, it's likely I also have CPTSD from the trauma of all the things I did to myself. It's not possible to live with these conditions. It's not possible to feel like a part of society or even part of a family. It's a life of loneliness. The best we can do is survive.
I'm so glad i found this video. I literally had never heard about this until now and i think i have it. Actually I have the impression that many people have it! This certainly makes me feel like i'm not that monster!
“although it most commonly starts in childhood or early adulthood, with symptoms often appearing gradually, but sometimes with a sudden onset due to stressful life events or potential triggers like infections; if you suspect you might be developing OCD, it's important to seek professional help…” What trauma or life event jumpstarted this? Dating seems like the obvious answer right at 23?
Hola! Tengo 37, desde los 14 sufro de depresión y un leve ocd pero tengo ya varios años que el ocd se me está empeorando pero ahí voy, en pocas palabras mi vida es muy parecida a la de esta historia.
Goodness. Of all the things I've suspected about myself, this one takes the cake. Even my therapist hinted at it once, I think. And this year I've noticed how often I see patterns that aren't there because I keep looking too much into things.
Thoughts are not threats, feelings are not facts. I'm going to remember this.
Same! I recorded it in my notebook.
the leftists around would probably disagree
@@camilledabertchronically online. touch grass.
_feelings are not facts_
- Ben Saph...[you know who, stop reading this]: someone called me?
I had terrible dark ocd when i was 11-13 i can relate w this guy, its terrible
Trying to “solve a thought” is only something people with OCD can understand
God damn you are right.
Soo truee
what dies it mean?
@@sylvianimates i think its like trying to find a way to get it out or be okay with it. Usually it doest work and may even make it worse
Did that constantly for 3+ years as a teen before getting on drugs. OCD is one of the worst mental disorders imaginable.
I suffer from this exact thing (I have been diagnosed with OCD but have rarely talked about my darkest obsessions)! Fear that I'll become a sex offender, sadistic serial killer, or similar kind of evil. Fear of getting into relationships for multiple reasons, including not wanting to let people know about my thoughts. I also ruminate over past decisions and agonize whether I'll make the right one.
Sounds like a lack of trust in your inherent nature. I'd be willing to bet that fundamentally, you are a good person.
Hopefully you seek counseling or already are. No one can hate you for seeking help but they can if you knowingly act on your bad impulses
@@kjwkrwklwjawThis is what annoys me so much about the „let the intrusive thoughts win“ meme. The thing with intrusive thoughts/obsessions like this is that you fundamentally _don‘t_ want to do them, you just endlessly ruminate about whether there is a part of you that might. This guy has no more actual dangerous impulses than anybody else and isn’t fighting an urge to do something terrible. He is being attacked by _irrational, unfounded_ fear that he might.
@@p.s.224 yeah and having a problem like that sounds like a good thing to talk about a therapist with.
Yeah, it's scary to admit even in the comment section. The thoughts are just thoughts and if we hate the thoughts then it stays with us for a long time.
i swear to god , that part of me thinking if am evil or am loosing it because of having intrusive thoughts , italmost still haunting me but i managed to get over it . Thank God that as soon as the thoughts started i went on phycologist and he explained me that this is something that happening to other people as well and am not crazy so that made things hella better for me . Before therapy(i did only 1 time thus far) i literally thought that am just crazy and the end of my saint days just came . I was wrong obv , but the thing with this thoughts is that even if i manage not to take them as serious and not feel guilt for things i havent even done , its still make me anxious here and there and i wish i never had OCD
All Scripture is inspired of God+ and beneficial for teaching,+ for reproving, for setting things straight,+ for disciplining in righteousness,+ 17 God kingdom has taken place .
@@VestalNumbreman what is you talkin about? what type of riddle is this
Shut up, you are praying on people who are vulenrable go away @@VestalNumbre
A year later you still doing ok? :) you got this homie!
@@josaphinetyep everything is good , thoughts come and go here and there but nothing that can't be managed . Its all in our minds
What an angel for being out there for many suffers
Your ocd mind will remember intrusive thoughts or strange thoughts you had from 20 or 30 years ago and given the right circumstances it will come to the surface again and overwhelm you to the point of despair even if in that 20 year period you’ve managed to dismiss the thought. If you suddenly become vulnerable through a depression etc then it can come back and floor you and give you a breakdown. Ocd can be like a virus that never goes away fully
When you have thoughts from 20 years ago its called remember, OCD is FAKE, stop being brainwashed by the pharmaceutical companies and the government
Yeah it's true. That's why I practice meditation and yoga so as to keep those intrusive thoughts at bay.
@justmadeit2, are you the chap featured in the film? If so, thanks very much for the information and bravery! I have OCD, but not the same kind. I would be keen on having you as a friend if you’d care to contact me.
Yes, this!!! Any theme can remerge to the surface again. The neurons are there in your brain, locked and loaded.
Kinda true. Had a year of peace from HarmOCD after a therapy and I was feeling really good, took my life into my own hands and started improving it drastically. But I went to work abroad thought summer season and I felt lonely, like really cause it was my first time leaving family home for this long. And around the end of the work period it triggered again as strong as it used to with same fears, urges, doubts etc...
There are two conditions I believe society has a tendency to trivialize: OCD and Bipolar Disorder. How often have you heard someone say "You're so Bipolar" or "Stop being so OCD"? Living with OCD or Bipolar Disorder can be hell. They're nothing to joke about.
have heard that 0 times. Guess people differ
ptsd???? how many triggered jokes do you hear. we all end up discounted and cast aside with hidden disabilities in general, we should try and support each other
@@bellamango6708 True.. thanks for broadening my view.
There's a lot of conditions like that. ADHD is also like that, and I'm too lazy to list any others.
Idk man, i got ocd but lil jokes are harmless. It depends on the person i think
Feel for this guy man. I have OCD too and get all kinds of intrusive thoughts, including sexual ones. Im doing well but damn it can be hard with OCD as it never goes away, you just have to learn to cope with it use tools you have learned.
Wishing you the best bro. I’m not diagnosed OCD but I’ve had sexual intrusive thoughts for a long time. It’s getting better though and I’m able to control it more now
Try the supplement GABA. It helps control looped thinking. I did a course with Dr Daniel Amen, and that was his prescription for OCD and in particular thinking, where you just can't shift gears.
Worth looking into. And hypnosis could also be useful.
@@Prutamwdym by sexual intrusive thoughts. Like are you thinking this when you're seeing anyone of the gender u prefer or it's happening like all of the time suddenly or with anyone regardless of their relationship . How consuming and dangerous it is ? I mean as you said I wanna know what's the thing going on in your case
@@PrutamI dont know what sexual intrusive thoughts are.
@@2004cyrus and that's why google was invented
Greetings from Finland! Thank you for talking about this publically and giving exposure to what OCD can look like. :) You are certainly not alone
Hei.
"thoughts are not threats, feelings are not facts"
This applies to the current state of society more than ever.
I notice my intrusive thought OCD flares up when I’m going through massive life changes. Sometimes your brain will try and protect you from harm by rerouting negative emotions into something that at first may seem impossible or ridiculous, but as you ruminate more and more, it feels like you’re giving the intrusive thoughts credibility and almost admission of your own guilt. If you are reading this, you are not alone, it happens and you can live with these thoughts. Move forward with your life and do not waste your years living in fear. The thoughts will come, give you fear and anxiety, you will acquire avoidance behaviours, and sometimes it may interfere with your personal relationships. Keep living, and you will find that when the intrusive thoughts lose their power and eventually go away, that you’re stronger and will be more empathetic to yourself for surviving the struggle of battling your own mind.
If you need someone to talk to, call:
Lifeline on 13 11 14 (bit.ly/4bHoPcN)
Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800 (bit.ly/3V4Gtjr)
MensLine Australia on 1300 789 978 (bit.ly/459HACY)
Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 (bit.ly/4bOjNve)
I literally have the exact thought process. Also in my personal experience I definitely feel as if I have a sort of self sabotage. When I’m doing somewhat good I fear that something is gonna go bad. Or perhaps it’s pointless because I’m a bad person.
Same here . My OCD flared when I graduated college and came back home after internship after college graduation . I started feeling hopeless again , like the same routine over and over again . Going to work and coming back home ?… and this lead me to have a flare up . Been praying to Jesus for comfort 🙏🏼❤️
Wow this is beautiful, thank you
Thank you for having the bravery to talk about this. My OCD was sever from the time I even have memories. I had these same sort of intrusive thoughts as well as many others and even though I was diagnosed with OCD at 5 no one explained to me it wasn't just compulsive behaviors it was intrusive thoughts. I didn't fully understand my condition till I was 20 and started to study psychology, and until that time I thought i was just a bad person. I hope others can discover the truth sooner.
Anything around sex ocd is the worst ever, you feel paranoid about talking to therapists etc. it’s hell on earth
It absolutely is. Truly terrifying
It is always the actual topic what causes the biggest strugle. The most important thing is to recognize the pattern and leave the "what if" question unanswered. Label it, abandon it. As Jon Hershfield said. Because ocd tries to affect the most important parts of your life.
You are correct. Also thinking you will hurt someone
Im 14 and went through a severe type suddenly from 11 to 13. Always be aware :)
Yes it’s awful but it’s nice to know people also live through this and that I’m not alone
Thankyou darling young man. So well said. Proud of you. ❤
As someone who has struggled with OCD from a young age, seeing others share their stories is inspiring because you know you’re not alone. Also, it’s shocking how broad OCD is and how many different types of obsessions and compulsions there are. The brain is so interesting!
PLEASE, tell me what
Is OCD?? Letter By letter, I mean, O It Is about Obsesion??
What Is C and D??
PLEASE!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Im 14 and went through a severe type suddenly from 11 to 13. Always is bad
@@JordiSal-p9qObessive Compulsive Disorder
@@JordiSal-p9q
Obsessive
Compulsive
Disorder
@@JordiSal-p9qGoogle it..
While this is not my personal experience with OCD, I'm so grateful for his willingness to shine a light on this subject. I hope he has continued to thrive.
OCD patient here , have been fighting with it for more than a week now ...everyday is a nightmare for me . The kind of thoughts that i get is utterly disturbing ( r4$e , Incest , ped0) , and it almost creates this false affirmation that you will do these things to the people you love, you will do it to your father , mother , brother . That just eats me alive . I have stopped making eye contact with my mother , and my brother . Everyday is a new day for suffering . I took a counselling session today . I feel like i purposely try to think these thoughts just because i like it even though i don't and it just eats me alive . I would never in my heart of hearts do something to heinous to my parents or my brother , its extremely disgusting and disturbing ... I will win.
Praying for you xxx
You’re not alone in this experience 😔 my OCD is related to those same topics & it’s absolutely stressful to have to deal with me. Specially when interacting with the ppl those same thoughts are about. I hope you get better soon, you WILL win. OCD cannot take control of your life. Keep going. Ignore those thoughts as much as you can & do things that are good for you. 🩷
Man, you're not alone. I have the same fears from intrusive thoughts, as if they're going to.happen one day and I'll lose everything. Hearing yall has made even today better. You will win. WE, will win
Started having intrusive thoughts in 2020. If it was not for a wiki article stating that those are indeed just thoughts and I'm not evil and unsavable, I wouldn't be here. It is difficult living with this though. Very difficult. And I don't even have those thoughts that often. I'm happy that changed, because I would overthink and spiral.
I’ve come to see intrusive thoughts as a GOOD thing. That’s your mind’s break check. When people should be worried is of people who DONT/CANT have them. Because those thoughts are the checks and balance systems that keep reminding you that there are consequences and life after your decisions. The people who DONT have them just simply ACT.
@@WaldoBagelToppersure, there may be truth to that, but to an extent. For someone with OCD the thoughts and the anxiety/depression that comes with them can be too much, unmanageable, no matter how irrational
Those are two excellent words to help explain this OCD - overthinking and spiral. It is such a hard illness and I am sincerely pleased you have got better. One thing I did read is that people who suffer from intrusive thoughts OCD are on average more intelligent. It's grasping at a small positive - but then why not after all we have to cope with so much. All the very best to you. Your positive change gives me hope so I thank you.
"thoughts are not threats
fears are not facts"
a clear evidence (playing with rhyme) of someone with OCD
same here
i do believe some part of "cause" must be in your creative career
as a director or writer or both, you must be "obsessed" with your thoughts, characters, and even their thoughts
all of them happen to be not real
by the way, really appreciate your courage to speak out
let us stay strong, stay calm, and stay obsessed (in a good way as you said)
As a human and as a person who went through self struggle and getting the help that is required in the right moment in life, I truly moved by his speech and the courage when he shared his story.
It is true that the more you speak about it the less power it has❤.
Those last words of his should be made into big billboard quotes and should be put out.
"We ALL Have our Daily life struggle and it's upto us to work on it...still working on it on Every single Day".
wonderful one to watch😊
I have hocd and im straight but i keep doubting im gay. I would get unwanted erections and anxiety looking at anything to other men. I lost all sexual urges and desires that i used to use as my motivation towards my self improvement. Now i feel no motivation and im trying my best to get my motivation and natural sexual desires back. Any of u boys and girls suffering from something similar, i am with u .
I'm sorry were you saying you keep thinking you are gay? You said doubting you're gay, but said you are straight? It was confusing to read
Sorry about your struggles and wish you the best. For me I've lost all sexual drive whatsoever and totally feel that lack of motivation for self improvement. I've stopped trying to date. Have only had sex twice in the last year. I never get horny or have the desire to masturbate. It's just gone. Also my period is gone too so idk whats going on with that. No I'm not pregnant BTW.
@@DoorsToHideBehind156yep im suffering the same thing. No motivation or sex drive or the masculine urge to go into self improvement. I totally feel you. U feel much desensitised sexually.
I have been straight even since birth and always had sexual attraction to girls.
@@Unstoppable7x I spent years wondering why I was attracted to both, and feeling especially ashamed that I was aroused by men.
Until I met others who had similar patterns, anxiety and confusion, and I realised that my desires/ feelings were valid and nothing to be ashamed of.
For me, I've realised that it's not just about if I'm attracted to male or female. It's about who a person is, and acknowledging I like a mix of both masculinity & femininity and spend time with people who don't judge me for that.
@@JWMcLay yes now i dont care about my intrusive thoughts. If i see a man whos good looking or has a nice personality i like them as in their image and it doesn’t mean i like them sexually
I was diagnosed with OCD a couple years ago and I take medication for it now, but sometimes my brain will just tell me I don’t actually have OCD and it’s just an excuse for my thoughts, and I am actually just a bad person. Or I constantly worry I am a narcissist, however I rationalize I am not because I tend to feel a lot of empathy for my friends and even strangers. Exposure therapy and opening up to people has been a great help and overall relief when bad thoughts tend to flare up!
A brilliant therapist once told me- if you’re afraid you might be a narcissist or sociopath, you’re not. A sociopath wouldn’t care either way or feel guilt and a narcissist wouldn’t take the time stressing something that isn’t benefiting themselves or blaming someone else.
Good on you mate and said with humility and courage.
I was diagnosed with it and have CBT each week. Mines around contamination. Add that I'm Autistic (diagnosed) it was a nightmare during the pandemic and I'm still not over it's impact. Haven't dated in 5 years or even touched a man in that time and have been single for 16 years. I'm glad you made this video as online a lot of people use OCD as some trendy label when in reality it destroys lives and has nothing to do with somethingnot being lined up etc. I'm glad you are doing better with it.
When you've been a diagnosed OCD for 20 years but nobody ever mentioned or questioned you about all the sex stuff because you were 12 at the time so you've spent the better part of your life being terrified that you were some pervy sicko, and are now lamenting at how you were doomed from the start because nobody was ever going to have that discussion with a 12yo. Honestly, I'm so shooketh right now that my body has gone cold. I was just casually watching some YT with dinner after a long day and clicked the video without much thought. I was totally not ready to be confronted with this rn. 😭
Saame bro😢
Martin is a very brave man and definitely has significant empathy.
I had really intense intrusive thoughts during a really tough part of my life. Surprisingly they seem to have disappeared over time, but I can’t help but feel like it’s left some sort of impact on my mind
It’s like being in a complicated crime detection story where you have the feeling that you are responsible for the wrong in your life and you have the added responsibility to try to bring yourself out of it. You feel you are the criminal and the crime solving detective at the same time. As you say talking about it goes along way to resolving why you self destruct like this. I’m an ongoing case the same as you and I’m in my 60s now. It seems it’s a lifetime of commitment to work on yourself with bits of self emerging every so often and old bits getting forgotten about. Good luck to you on your journey.
Great description can totally relate to this !
Thank you so much for sharing, it’s so hard to share and talk about OCD. Broke down crying hearing you talk about the feeling of being evil, and carrying that weight, and not being able to tell anyone.
It started when I was ten. I thought my life was over
He's so brave to share this. Rooting for him.
Once upon a time, when societies were high functioning, a man would have to sacrifice his life for someone else before society deemed him brave. But then along came soccer mom Sally and she decided that everyone should get a medal. So now a man can admit he thinks about b**bs once in a while and Karen here will call him stunning and brave. He's basically there next to Schindler.
So brave of you to share your story with the world Martin. Thanks and cheers.
My therapist told me that she believes I’m in a sort of “remission” from OCD now. YAY! I went from almost having to drop out of college to living a (somewhat) normal life. I have had sexual OCD, harm OCD, religious OCD, suicidal OCD, contamination OCD, psychosomatic OCD, and there are probably some I’m forgetting. I’ve learned that if I don’t assign meaning to my intrusive thoughts, they don’t intrude very much. Another thing I think people with this kind of OCD need to know is that non-OCD people sometimes have disturbing thoughts, too. The only difference is that they don’t take them seriously, so they don’t think about them again.
The medication I took helped control the thoughts until I could really understand what they did and didn’t mean. I still take medication because I also have been diagnosed with depression. Also, I had a tic disorder as a child, and the medications keep that from coming back as well.
Anyway, the point is that you CAN recover. Don’t give up. And keep in mind that you may have to try many medications before finding one that works for you. If for some reason you can’t take medication, there are great therapists out there, and some really helpful books as well.
Also, I would like to thank all of the people out there who are telling their stories. When I first started with my obsessions (around 2006), NO ONE was talking about this side of OCD. We were suffering in silence, too afraid to tell anyone about our thoughts. We’ve come a long way since then. I hope that we continue to spread awareness until one day, no one has to worry they will become a serial killer/pedophile/rapist because of a stupid thought they have no control over.
Thank you so much for this
I dont know if i should be happy that i saw this video right now or upset that i didnt see it when it came out like one year ago, but ive never even remotely felt like ive been called out so brazenly before.
You are a very brave, smart, nice young man; I wish you the best in your recovery. I'm sure you will do well, and help others.
I used to think too much. My brain doesn't like effort, so it spins and runs data at a disturbing rate ( for me at least ), by subconscious command it seems, to find a gateway or a system that allows me to escape the turmoils and hardships of existence and achieve peace, happiness, or both. I came to the realization that all of it is triggered by fear of death, imbedded inside my genetic code, by instinctive and primal mindset. I work on dissociating from these concerns, which I consider thoughts pollution, by quickly evaluating my present situation and state, and applying on getting rid of any personal limitations awareness, to finally identify as an instant in time, no tasks, no purpose, breathing air, being, and that frees me from overthinking. I think it's a very bad and unproductive habit, 'cause when eventually, a great thought, or image, nests on your head, you're usually too tired to surf on it. The best moments in my life, my brain was shut down. We don't have to know all the answers is my point. Just be. Be you. You're all you need. Hope this helps somebody.
Well said
Thanks, I saved your comment as I think it helps me better understand my situation as my brain is also doing the same and it stems from the fear of death too.
🙏
It helps me. I have the same mind although death doesn't scare me. It used to and I found once I was able to no longer worry that helped a lot. Your points on be in the moment, in the instant, etc. certainly helps too. There is some debate about how much we should use distraction to keep unwanted thoughts at bay, but I find it very helpful. Tiring for sure. Apparently, most OCD sufferers have a high IQ and our brains do tend to overthink and never shut down. The looping effect in the front cortex is what keeps us fully charged all the time. Your post is very kind and sincere. A lovely commentary to bring some comfort and hope for so many. Sincere appreciation indeed.
You were very fortunate to have loving supportive people around you. Some of us have attracted broken people into our lives who somehow perceive and use these negative energies, we are for the most part unaware of, to control and manipulate us.
I had this in my teens and early twenties as a WOMAN. It’s already quite rare but my age and gender definitely made me more of an outlier.
It was debilitating and I truly thought I was a pedophile or would become one. I would research female sex offenders but just couldn’t relate to the utter evil that they would all show in one way or another, along with shared symptoms or illness between these offenders that I, again, couldn’t relate to.
Absolutely no sources I found spoke of anyone as young as I and without any previous experience of trauma especially sexual abuse.
It wasn’t until I felt my head was going to explode with these disgusting thoughts (in hindsight, that feeling is now a common occurrence that is directly related to the OCD) that I felt I had to share this horrid experience to ensure I didn’t become a true pedophile.
I trusted my psychiatrist completely and had told her many shameful and embarrassing things but I was aware of the seriousness of the situation if I was truly a sick person. So after being admitted into hospital, having too much time to think and more access to therapy style sessions with my psychiatrist.
I wrote it all down, the exact thoughts and my thoughts ABOUT those thoughts because I couldn’t verbalise such horrific stuff out loud.
I remember her reading my notes. I remember looking into her eyes as they were glancing along the words of my weird sentences trying to grasp any hint of what she was thinking and feeling. Nothing showed.
At the end, as my throat began to feel like it was swelling shut she began to sort of chuckle a little bit and look at me in sort of relief, sort of like she felt pity on me. She simply stated - These are called intrusive thoughts and you are absolutely not a pedophile.
I was taken back, what are intrusive thoughts?! They are my thoughts, after all, right? Surely I mean what I think. I am me, after all.
Turns out, you can absolutely have thoughts that go against your own beliefs and morals. This is normal and everyone has them. More many they are just fleeting thoughts, though, where they go and come like all other useless thoughts. When you have OCD however you can get so obsessive about these thoughts that they become more and more prevalent, emotionally attached and confronting. So you start to do things to prevent or redirect after these thoughts, and that behaviour becomes a compulsion following the previous thoughts and round and round and round and round and round and round we go, for life presumably.
I haven’t had these thoughts for a couple of decades now and am so thankful my doctor knew of this disorder.
Thanks for being so open. ❤
l also had this (only for a short period) as a woman! Especially when I started to work with children I got paranoid.
But I quickly found out it's like OCD behaviour and I kept on going to work and it passed in a week or two.
So for some reason I had understanding about the nature of mind and that I was just afraid. Of everything. And my innate goodness.
@@you-vi2tm PLEASE HELP ME. It happened with me too and it’s been a month. It all started with my aunt telling me about her child (which I sometimes get to babysit) that she was having rashes in the skin (turns out its just a normal illness sometimes kids get) but I got so uncomfortable when she mentioned that she got that in the groin also. So uncomfortable i started trembling and after that my mind started racing wondering if I ever did something to her when I could never imagine me being able to do that.
I have now...please let me know whether it comes just like a thought or it make our brain to think the thought?
I think my comment might help some bit. You are 100% correct you can have thoughts that go against your own bekliefs and morals. In fact intrusive thoughts OCD is egodysmorphic meaning what you are scared of doing or being is the very last thing you are likely to ever be. That is why it fills you with such fear and dread. But you are not an monster of any kind, rather most likely a very kind and caring person who thinks about others with genuine care.
If you want to read my waffle. I've had this for 30 years now and I know of a man in his 70's who only recently revealled his fears and indeed he was diangosed with OCD - all those decades wasted. Now people are beginning to understand this horrid illness and just how draining and soul destroying it can be. Yet there is hope...
Cut and pasted section..
These are the scientifically proven strongest emotions Anger, Fear, Sadness, Disgust & Enjoyment. Fear is massively influential on people especially those with a disposition of kindness and a tendency to feel guilt over the smallest things. The word that needs to be mentioned is EGODSYMOPRHIC - that for OCD people means fearing about things you might be that are the actual anthesis (opposite) of who you are. i.e. What scares you the most, or who you care for the most, are the things you worry about doing wrong and causing harm. It is the opposite of who you are.
People who suffer intrusive thoughts OCD actually are the very least likely to actually ever act out those thoughts. Many mothers who are frightened of harming their newborn is because they love that baby more than any other individual. That may not be OCD but it a similar kind of mental trickery our minds can play on us. Recalling or knowing of vile behaviours others have engaged in is incredibly distressing to the person with OCD. The first reaction is disgust and fear and instantly becomes what if I did that or what if I am that type of person. It is the ultimate disease of unwarranted DOUBT.
People without OCD may have the fearful thought for a few seconds but are then able to realise it is nonsensical and simply move on. But those with OCD it is so scary it becomes an obsession, and it builds into a nightmare that seems to never go away. Hence the compulsions and so forth to try and push these fears to the back of your mind. Sadly, long term that doesn’t help but just makes the sufferer feel worse. It truly is one of the hardest mental conditions to deal with and is listed in the top 5 chronic mental health conditions for severity. OCD sufferers in truth are most likely to be the least self-centred, caring and kind people in society.
Society in return needs to have faith with OCD sufferers. Don’t jump into judgement and let fear make you mistrust the individual with OCD. Studies have shown that virtually in no instances has an OCD patient ever committed a crime or misdemeanour of what they fear. They basically find it extremely rare. In fact, most cases of such offended are far more likely to happen pro-rata by those without this mental illness.
Some religious indoctrination (not attacking general people of any particular faith), harsh parental judgement and strict forms of obedience and expectations in childhood can often lead to the development of OCD as many of these things involve an emphasis teaching consequence and fear. Of course, other factors come into play. The brain has a section where a loop function occurs in the mind of an OCD person, which doesn’t in those non-OCD individuals. This loop causes the build up in fear that takes over the mind and to put in bluntly scares the sufferer to a point of near torture.
Everyone has unwanted intrusive thoughts but only about 3% have OCD. Society needs to open up and share in dialogue about this illness just as we have improved with depression and other forms of mental illness. OCD people need support and understanding. The last thing they need is for ignorant people to be aggressive and distrusting. Remember OCD people who suffer from intrusive thoughts are THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT THEY FEAR. If they are to have the courage to seek medical help and support than society itself needs to become more educated about this beyond the stereotyped examples (of which nevertheless can be common and true) but intrusive thoughts can latch on to the deepest parts of our being, our fears and worries and concern for those with love. People who suffer from Intrusive thoughts OCD can lead a life of hell. They need support. What we don’t need is society, especially in this social-internet age feeding fears with distrust, ignorance or worse denial.
What I found hardest is to love myself, which I still struggle with, but it is the best place to start, for you may or may not think you are a good person, but those who truly know you, are assured in what a great person you are.
@@femalehuman1540seek help from a psychologist - search for psychologists who specialise in ocd
I have sexual OCD, but thankfully, I'm doing better now, and it doesn't bother me as much anymore. 4 years 👍. However, I am still on medication. What helped me were a combination of medication, eating healthier, working out, and taking walks outdoors.
As mentioned at 3:10, "I don’t take my thoughts as seriously as I did.”
Help is available. Don’t hesitate to reach out.
Thought I might add this.
Guilt can be conscious or unconscious, retrospective or prospective, directed inward or projected outward. Guilt can be a catalyst to self-reflection and change, but it is often counterproductive. It can “twist, distort and corrupt” our emotions, resulting in self-loathing and doubt. Therapists warn of the dangers of an overabundance of guilt: guilt that’s unexpiated or unresolved or obsessive. OCD sufferers so often have such huge guilt, expanded or even evolving from fear. Try not to beat yourself up. You are not your fears. Intrusive thoughts OCD is EGODYSMORPHIC - meaning you are the opposite of what you might fear you are or fear you might do. In essence your brain is tricking you, taking your values and making you think the worst of yourself, which in fact is the opposite of who you really are; which is a kind, caring person who is way too harsh on themself. To have no guilt by definition, is to be sociopathic a mental health condition in which a person consistently shows no regard for right and wrong and ignores the rights and feelings of others.
For me this rings 100% NOT the case with those who suffer Intrusive Thoughts OCD. In fact in my 35 years with OCD I have found others with the same condition full of abundance of empathy for others. Loving, kind people will always worry about others because they care and are often near selfless.
I had this obsession years back and it was debilitating as hell. I was able to overcome it with therapy and medication (which I'm still on today). You're not alone and it does get better!!
Please mate!! Tell me that medication? Please 🙏🏿🥺
@@essenceEdit Zoloft, 200 mg - usually they don't go past 150 mg but studies have shown even higher dosages benefit OCD so my doctor let me increase to 200 and I haven't had issues for years (knock on wood - still have flare ups but they go away within a day).
I do supplements and boy they work like a charm.
@@tromboneman4517 please detail what supplements you take. Thanks.
I’ve suffered with this for a while now. It had me believe I was a sick and evil person once: thinking about my best friends partners, lacking attention during conversations because you’re just thinking about them naked, and even thinking you’re a danger to people. None of it is true, but thinking the same thoughts over and over again is torturous. Bringing it up to people and telling them straight up has helped me the most, no matter how uncomfortable it makes anybody. I can’t help it, so why hide it?
A big part of recovery is trusting myself enough to love again. And it's a constant daily battle. But I am working on it.
I go through this every single day 😭💔
My ex had to wash his hands for 20 minutes at a time multiple times a day. It affected our intimacy, and so many other factors of a relationship that was on and off for 7 years. I truly felt helpless and heartbroken for him. Sadly I went on my own way and left the relationship. It broke my heart but I had to tend to my life and mental health before I put anyone else before me. I truly wish he finds peace and happiness in his life. Thank you for sharing, it takes a lot of courage.
i highly recommend the audiobook "Complex PTSD from surviving to thriving "
and also 1week deep dive course called Hoffman process (i wish i knew about it before)
Agreed. Contamination OCD usually stems from childhood sexual abuse. 1 in 3 women were sexually abused as a child. 1 in 6 men were sexually abused as children.
I also suffer from sexual OCD, which can be taboo in nature, among other themes and compulsions, both mental and physical, and let me state to anyone who is looking into this to help a friend or family member, it is utterly debilitating, it can the person question themselves, their morals, their character, it's like a constant judge, jury and executioner in your head, like a constant horrible radio static in your mind that you can't turn off, and none of these thoughts are wanted, so please treat people with this or any other OCD with compassion, patience and understanding, we didn't choose to have this condition, and to anyone else here that has OCD, you are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for, keep on going, seek treatment if you think it will help, you are not the monster your mind makes you out to be, you are someone afflicted with a horrible mental health condition, but, like most conditions, it can be managed and treated well with the right care. Thanks Martin for sharing and spreading awareness.
Powerful. Thank you for opening up and being vulnerable to get this message out. The good news is you have healed! Bravo!
I know I'm a bit late on watching this video, but thanks for talking about this. So, a bit of a story:
So, while at the time of writing this, I'm not diagnosed with anxiety, Depression and OCD I define know that I have all 3 in various waves. So my anxiety stems from different things. Like not being around my parents, who weren't even married in the 1st place, yet lived together for a short time. I have insecurities about being judged for my past with not being around my parents that much and living with my grandparents instead. And being judged for loving art.
I'm currently a freshman at community college studying in digital arts. I enjoy creativity and love to write more now than I previously did yet from growing up and currently still live in a small town I felt like kids were judgmental about stupid stuff even if I wasn't bullied.
Another thing that I can relate to is how, while currently 20 male, I've never been in a relationship with a partner before yet worry that I'll screw something up since when seeing how my parents were a bit reaklass, when they were my age, makes me a bit worried about dating at times. Btw my actual parents are doing better, in some way. My mom married my step dad some years ago, and my dad has been with his gf for quite some time now. My dad lives nearby in a town close to mine so driving over to see him is easily than my mom,step dad, and my 3 siblings since they live in another state that while bordering mine is a long drive.
Also I'll admit to doing masterbaition often.
Good news while starting college I've been seeing a therapist whose helping me. I've so far gone for 2-3ish months, so I'm still new. Anyways if you read this far thnx for your video and I shall continue my passion in the realm of digital arts and hopefully someday write my own story for an animated series on either YT, a streaming services or maybe tv.
I have contamination Ocd and sexual ocd. The contamination part is the compulsion to completely avoid the ground and anything associated with bacteria, viruses, bodily fluids, organisms etc. So you can just imagine how many things are dirty, doorknobs, switches, almost everything. The only way I can remove the dirt is by washing or taking a bath with antibacterial soap. And my only clean space is my room, except for the ground in my room. As for the sexual ocd part, I have been celibate for 10 years. The last time I made out with someone, I had to brush my whole mouth, tongue and the deepest crevicess with antibacterial soap until my mouth bled. And I rushed to the lab to have all kinds of blood tests for stds. As with masturbation, I had to scrub my whole body with antibacterial soap and loofa twice so once in a while I can tolerate that ritual, but the sexual contact with other people part is too difficult for me to handle..
Talking with someone and getting things out of my mind, helps me more than anything!
You are an educator! You’re brave and helping others recognize what’s actually happening with our loved ones and ourselves. I’m not surprised the UA-cam algorithm matched me with you but I’m glad it stumbled into this! Thank you!
It's completely normal to have aberrant thoughts. We all have a shadow side and it manifests differently in different people. The thing is to see the totality of ourselves, of who we are. One thought, or type of thought, doesn't define us. I'm glad this young man sought professional help. Such thoughts, in certain individuals, can lead to disastrous results.
I dare say that there is no person acting out their intrusive thoughts. That is because intrusive thoughts are derailed control mechanisms. People who commit horrible things do NOT experience them as intrusive thoughts, but as interests they are absolutely in harmony with.
As such, intrusive thoughts do not represent a secret evil half of our psyche. Instead they represent a part concerned about safety, that got very anxious about not messing things up.
As a female with ocd and agoraphobia, my paranoid thoughts revolve around the fear that every man I interact with sees me in a sexual way... good to know it goes full circle..
Just give it time, dearie
You are happy you are not alone. You are not happy people suffer because of this.
They do, it's called biology
THEY DO, GUESS WHAT, THAT'S NATURE
I have a fear I’m being watched
Comments: they do. The government is watching us all the time.
😂
Yes. Thank you! I feel understood. When I had my first breakdown and was diagnosed i was having so many unwanted, intense and intrusive thoughts on many things that are not like me, yet they were (and sometimes still are) so distressing because they go against everything I am not and they are things that I would never do in a million years. For example i do regular daily prayers and I had a lot of religious themed thoughts that were so distressing, i thought something must be wrong with me or that I was some sort of evil or bad person, but the way my doctors explained it was that the OCD makes you think the opposite of who you are and that’s why these thoughts are so distressing to each individual that has them and that was a huge relief for me when they told me this.
I’m ”approved” to start OCD treatment this fall, after having lived with some version of it for around 20 years. It has mostly increased over time, but some periods it has actually decreased, but only a small and maybe not very noticeable amount (some people who know me though have noticed). My obsessions are mostly about ”nicer” things; creativity suck as writing and playing music (I’m a musician), but it seems compulsionary creativity isn’t always that creative…😬) I don’t really know if I have an OCD diagnosis; I just know I have an Asperger diagnosis, but maybe there is one without my knowledge, since I will get treatment. Been on meds for a couple of years. Greetings from Sweden
on youtube the video "Body keeps the score"
I was the person in this video, for the most part.
I would like to take the liberty of giving some advice of my own, from my own experience.
If you're going to seek professional help, consult a respected and well known university for a referral.
Don't trust your mental health to just anyone who hangs out a shingle.
Recognizing the medium intrusive thoughts and the rumination and guilt has made it much easier to ignore and dismiss the thoughts for me luckily.
I used to have some intense habits around blinking as a kid, that came with intense fears. It seems silly now, but it's easy to get stuck.
I'm grateful for the classmate in my psych class that pointed out a line of thought I was having was just my OCD, not anything true about me. I hadn't realized how pervasive it still was. Sometimes it has to be pointed out no matter how self aware you are.
It‘s absolutely true and necessary to understand that we are not our thoughts or our feelings. We always have the choice to get to know the truth. Without the help of others it‘s mostly like imprisoning and throwing away the key.
As a woman, I’d just be happy to be able to get diagnosed with anything I’ve tried to talk to psychologists about. It took me YEARS of begging to my family doctor to even get basic escitalopram pills. I’ve had a psychologist deny me medication due to what he thought was “reactive anxiety” (basically: he told me I have a habit of over reacting/being over emotional only in certain situations). That same psychologist was also checking his phone constantly, checking his watch constantly, asking me to repeat myself multiple times and asking the same questions over and over again. He even accused me of lying about my home life because I described how I have 2 families (my moms house - I lived with my mom/step-dad/half-brother for the majority of my life and only was with my biological dads family on weekends. Bio dad’s family included him/my step-mom/2 step-sisters/a second half-brother).
Women just aren’t taken seriously when we come to people for help with mental health issues because the majority of people basically just say variations of “it’s normal for a woman to be over emotional. Deal with it”
Great description, thank you, I can certainly relate. It's really incredible how OCD can derail our thought-processes.
I started medication for my OCD at the start of this year which has helped reduce the intrusive thoughts. I’m also currently doing EMDR with clinical psych. It’s helping. I can function again 💙
What a brave person, thank you!. I realized i AM ocd, it is so intertwined in my being. It presents itself in things i didn’t even realize was ocd
The thing is, you don't get 'obsessed' with something. Compulsatory behaviour and habitus lead you to state of obsession, but compulsions themselves are the driver. Simply said, compulsion is a fearful 'must' from your deep emotional being. End the cure is to sense and jump over every "must" from your inner being, and to regain personal freedom.
I can relate to this in every single way. I’m literally 31 going to be 32 this year I’m currently in film school and struggling with being creative because I’m sexually repressed. It’s amazing how others have similar experiences
Yes. Thank you! I feel understood. When I had my breakdown and was diagnosed i was having so many unwanted, intense and intrusive thoughts on many things that are not like me, yet they were (and sometimes still are) so distressing because they go against everything I am not and they are things that I would never do in a million years. For example I had a lot of religious themed thoughts that were so distressing, i thought something must be wrong with me or that I was some sort of bad person but the way my doctors explained it was that the OCD makes you think the opposite of who you are and that’s why these thoughts are so distressing to each individual that has them.
It helps me when loved ones reiterate to me the kind of person I am. It’s the best reinforcement against it.
Thank you so much Martin! I think you just saved my life, after ten years of this hell, I thought I was all alone, I was just about done with all of it today, thank you so much man!!!!
The best thing about this video is he acknowledged his struggle and work to solve it some indulge and get to a place they feel irredeemable
If u feel a thought is unlike you don't try to act it out thing it will resolve itself
Like a nightmare our mind not the perfect reflection we act it is
This man is a Boss. Really impressive, the courage.
I have OCD, and i really appreciate it when other people share their stories and experiences, it makes my own experience feel less isolating.
I was reading that gay men are overrepresented in OCD cases. I'm gay and I have huge issues with constantly "checking" various aspects of my body and male identity. Nothing ever feels natural to me, my body has never felt like home and I dont have a sense of self at all. Or any sense of agency. When I talk about these things with anybody they think my problem is self pity, but it's not the same.
❤❤❤ thank you for your vulnerability Martin. You are helping a lot of people by being open.
I sufferred with obsessive compulsion in thought and action until I discovered a massive Vitamin D deficiency paired with iron deficiency. Other issues included low copper and B vitamins. Addressing them completely wiped these issues out.
B3 especially works wonders!
@@aalliaandreadis5109 B1 as well, those that eat lots of sugar and carbs deplete them big time.
Can I ask what other signs you had with the low vitamin D and iron? I feel like this might be an issue I have!
@@zoeyx7747 ADHD symptoms, anxiety, sleep issues, ataxia, skin issues.
Hi. I have officially diagnosed with ADHD, which I discovery by myself earlier and one psychiatrist told me I am a OCD type person...??? I have some little... very little just a few compulsions which looks like contamination OCD compulsions, but my intrusive thoughts are generally and mainly about two big topics... Bullying periodically during life and sexual intrusive thoughts... First is definitely Trauma... mainly childhood, but in fact periodically during whole life (now I'm 48). But I have had just few sex during life and have no full-blown, real romantic/sexual relationships (just one fling, one so called 'one night stand' and prostitutes whom I've paid - body count 12 where 10 were prostitutes). And I lost my virginity at 23... And after 27 till 47 (during 20 years) I have no any sex at all... during 1 and a half year I was with 7 prostitutes go to them periodically... Now I always think about sex and nervous about lack of normal sex and lack of many sexual partners during my life... Always nervous about 'body count' and have no 'normal' romantic/sexual relationship, nervous about that I had have not girlfriend at all... So I have question and no one (I mean first of all mental health providers) still explain me what condition I have... and what level of severity... OCD, Trauma-related OCD, CPTSD and/or AvPD....?????????
I hope your life a lot... MUCH better now and you were found and maybe even more find about what happen with you and be even better and better... It's very important to find not exactly the truth about self and world around you but maximum be near to truth...
Good Luck and Good Health to You and Thank You for this video...
to people who don't know anybody with ocd or think this video's depictions were so unreasonable and easy to deal with, i want to say, it's much worse than what's been lead out. Like depression you can't depict the hurt it causes to yourself without looking like you just 'seek attention' or 'need to be hospitalized' and the fear of the latter happening or getting the wrong kind of attention from the condition is what fuels it.
It is only just now that I have entertained the thought of having OCD because I didn't have the right idea of what it is and how it's misrepresented by media. The whole time I have bad cases of being impaired mentally and rehearsing thoughts over and over again, and just taking breaks when I do some normal day routine just realizing the thought is still there. Has been the case with my personal life and relationships. I'm just lying in my bed for the past three hours ruminating, and it will be like that for the latter part of the day as well. I've avoided relationships to not experience this, and have avoided people too. Still undiagnosed but I'll get myself checked soon
Thank you so much for sharing this. Hearing other peoples stories is very helpful and makes us feel less isolated.
I have contamination concern too. But mine manifests as a fear of chemicals. Perfumes, cleaning products, sprays, anything. I go into flight mode when I’ve breathed something in. Needless to say my home has zero air fresheners or cleaning chemicals.
Yes i understand what your going through to the point i thought I was a monster, i still struggle but i have a family and wife to look after. You genuinely believe you are sick and should be locked away but then you feel better then the next day or next week you feel the same way and its a vicious cycle. 😢 Hope people can find peace without harming. The scariest thing is your mind is powerful enough to make you believe you are that sick person your scared to be. My OCD gives me visions that i live with and it's like being in a Halloween movie but it's all in your head .
I suffer from the same thing its been on and off for me since i was in middle school I'm 38yrs now and it feels worse than ever i hope i can find help this this man has. I dont want to live anymore
This guy is a courageous and strong bloke.
I really do believe that we all have some of these symptoms at some stage in our lives. I first noticed that I had developed a ritual over the way I settled myself onto the toilet. Then it was an aversion to sitting on any seat other than the porcelain and another was to rip off three sheets of paper but use the third one first and the first one last!!! (which I still do 60 years later. ) Using an ancient set of cutlery for my main meal rather than my good and expensive modern. Rotation of my very up-market watches in their occasional use but NEVER wearing a watch unless it is for a verifiable occasion. Another is my delight in wearing other peoples expensive cast-offs instead of buying new clothes. So many little things. It amused me, the traits of my ex who refused to accept that the compulsions he had/has exist/d. The total lack of compulsions in my first and greatest love. Self obsession is a compulsion but I believe that the best way out is to fall in love and concentrate on the hundreds of things you then do, to demonstrate, even if only to yourself, how deep your love for them is!! We are all complex and it's not to be dwelt on: a lack of self confidence and worth perhaps, no matter how accomplished we are.! Just go away and enjoy being quite a D.O.T.D. (dish of the day)!!!
I used to have thoughts and ruminantions and one day, out of desperation, i called out to God and my life has never been the same😢 I wake up feeling peace in my mind which is something i never thought I could experience after years of struggle.
0:43
Fell in love for the first time
1:10
“Negative questions as to who I am”
“What if I’m dangerous”
“What if I’m evil because I maybe a pervert”
2:05 being a afraid of sex?
2:40 but washing your hands till you bleed because your a “pervert”…
Where did you learn this BEHAVIOR?
3:00 therapy is the real help boosting drugs make it seem like self diagnosis makes sense… when it doesn’t.
4:23
Wow diagnosis at 23 with no family support until almost 9 years later…? Wanna address the possible causes?
I used to be more ashamed. My brain wanted me scared. Not just that I might do something, but that somehow being assaulted was Inevitable for me and that I needed desensitize myself in order to “prepare”. Its debilitating being forced to think of the most disgusting things every waking moment just so I can feel in control. As it turns out, BDSM helps with the shame instantly, and literally having absolute control over the scene is so healing. Anyone shaming the more taboo kinks is incredibly misguided. Its the only solace some people can get.
How are you now? I'm going thought the same thing. Like a feeling I need those thoughts cause they need to happen and I need myself to prepare for it and just get rid off my morality. Scarry to think about and causes so much distress especially since I started feeling stuff I was scared I will make myself feel and it's terrible. Can this be undone? Can this be fixed? Since I used to react to similar stuff quite normally and not feeling such feelings.
I am neurotic about sex. Performance anxiety, usually have to get comfortable with someone before I can climax & can only make myself climax which I think is very weird, have obsessive fear that if someone looks me in the face I will DEFINITELY not be able to climax...I don't know if that's OCD related, I think it's just anxiety which I have a general problem with anyway...Never heard of this described as OCD. Good video.
2:40 Literally every compulsions no matter what is the same as the rumination compulsion: trying to get rid of a thought
This poor kid, good lord. I had no idea that OCD could have a sexual component. He’s doing a great thing, helping others get through what he did. ❤🙏🏻
I'd say obsesive compulsion about sex is fairly normal for teenagers. Up to a point regarding age, intensity and function. Limerince could also be considered an obsessive compulsion. Again, up to a point. What you describe is well beyond any point of comfort and function. Thanks for sharing.
I was diagnosed with OCD in my late teens after a suicide attempt driven by thoughts like these. I was later diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and personality disorder after a few more acts of self harm. Ironically, it's likely I also have CPTSD from the trauma of all the things I did to myself. It's not possible to live with these conditions. It's not possible to feel like a part of society or even part of a family. It's a life of loneliness. The best we can do is survive.
I wish these videos were longer. Like a proper show.
I know. Just as I was relaxing into this one-handed, it ended 😢
I'm so glad i found this video. I literally had never heard about this until now and i think i have it. Actually I have the impression that many people have it! This certainly makes me feel like i'm not that monster!
I also have it someway and I also actually think quite many people have it!
@@you-vi2tm it sucks, but i hope we get better
What I do is I prove to myself that I am not my thoughts through the choices I make. I always have power over what I choose to do. I choose my path
Thank you for sharing this ❤❤❤
Can relate, cluster B OCD obsession is so incredibly disabilitating
“although it most commonly starts in childhood or early adulthood, with symptoms often appearing gradually, but sometimes with a sudden onset due to stressful life events or potential triggers like infections; if you suspect you might be developing OCD, it's important to seek professional help…”
What trauma or life event jumpstarted this?
Dating seems like the obvious answer right at 23?
Awesome recover story. Thank you for your courage and creativity! I hope your live is full of love and self-love too.
Hola!
Tengo 37, desde los 14 sufro de depresión y un leve ocd pero tengo ya varios años que el ocd se me está empeorando pero ahí voy, en pocas palabras mi vida es muy parecida a la de esta historia.
Goodness. Of all the things I've suspected about myself, this one takes the cake. Even my therapist hinted at it once, I think. And this year I've noticed how often I see patterns that aren't there because I keep looking too much into things.
I have pure O ocd and whomever you are out there and think it's hopeless, there is help and God is there for you!!!
Oh my god - thank you. I needed to see this. Sometimes I get so scared - so worried - this is exactly what I've been feeling.