Dr. Shefali Discusses New Parenting Methods | Oprah's Super Soul | OWN Podcasts
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- Опубліковано 12 гру 2023
- Oprah talks to New York Times best-selling author, world-renowned clinical psychologist and frequent Super Soul guest, Dr. Shefali, about her new book, The Parenting Map: Step-by-Step Solutions to Consciously Create the Ultimate Parent-Child Relationship. Dr. Shefali shares a revolutionary new parenting method that she believes will empower children while transforming parents. She explains how parents can disrupt dysfunctional inherited patterns and replace them with authentic connection to honor the essence of their child. She shares how parents unknowingly write scripts and create films for their children that block the capacity for true interaction. Oprah and Dr. Shefali take questions from parents across the country who have read the book and want to become more conscious parents.
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Dr. Shefali Discusses New Parenting Methods | Oprah's Super Soul | OWN Podcasts
• Dr. Shefali Discusses ...
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"You thought that you were here to raise your child, but your child is coming to help raise you."
Say it louder for the people in the BACK 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
If Eckhart Tolle wrote a parenting book this would be it. She embodies the "be present" motto in parenting. I love it. Yes!
I just cried listening coz I realised what I was doing wrong. And Now I can correct it. Thabk you for investing in my daughter by educating me with your knowledge.
This entire conversation reminded me of one of my favorite poems by Kahlil Gibran:
".....Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."
Parents harm their children when they have them without first working on themselves and doing the inner work it takes to heal their childhood traumas, and when they persist with God-like controlling behaviours throughout the entire parent-child dynamic of their relationship- even when their children have become adults.
I agree that most people, if they are honest with themselves, have children because of the ego and not having enough self-awareness to dissect and unpack those "I" statements that feed into the ego without ever even contemplating if they are ready for the task of raising children or how best to. I also agree (even without having children) that thinking of parents as guides-and not "mini-gods"- would be a more beneficial foundation and premise for positive techniques in parenting. This approach should be common (sense) and not ground-breaking.
Perhaps if parents saw children as their own unique beings/souls to nurture (expand) instead of extensions of themselves to rein in (diminish) and be controlled or even punished, it would be.
Yes
You better quote this man! Yes!
❤
Yes!! I was thinking about this too!!
I love this. I was doing this without knowing. My kid is only 9 months but I make a conscious decision EVERYDAY to remind myself that I am here to guide him and not control him or impose on him. I also watches both my own mother and husbands mother do the exact opposite till this day which serves as a direct motivation to not be like that!!
This should have millions of views and shares. Such a revolutionary message for all parents and would-be parents out there! ✨
I raised my daughter very consciously. I have a whole different philosophy on parenting as well and this sounds similar to it my daughter 17 and I have had lots of proof that I did the right thing mutual respect, mutual love and not authoritarian.
Conscious parenting is not just about raising children..It is about raising humanity .When we understand it´s profound and powerful principles , we heal not only our own past wounds ,but those of others around us. Such is the tremendous restorative potential of this work: it has the capacity to transform trauma into health .
My husband has always been the parent in your book more times than me & we finally have the words to express our desired parenting that still aligns with our Godly lifestyle. Less of us more of Him❤
Emm Oprah was the mother we never had. I was aware at 14yrs of age, emotionally divorcing my parents even in the African context. I became a warrior in my life, & have spent my life using conscious parenting to myself, in serving the world. Bringing light to what happened to us as a human being, & forgiving the past, to still my spirit, rest, relax & disappoint my family, community, society & humanity, to become free. Thank you Dr.Shefali & Oprah for confirming my spirit💜. Merry Christmas & Happy epic New Year 2024🙏🏾 We got this Spiritual Warrior Goddesses 🎉
Excellent podcast show. I’m a 71 year old with 2 adults in their mid 30’s. I found the topic enlightening as well as helpful for me even now as I provide the support my children feel they need. My goal has always been for them to become independent. And I believe they are. I am intrigued on how I may practice reflecting the bothersome behavior of my children and others for healing my inner child. A grand journey indeed
😘
When I encounter behavior from another, that triggers me, I ask myself --when I can get quiet when I can step away, “where have I done that or where, in my life do I act like that ?”
even a little
and then I come to the profound, ancient truth, that
what I see in the other i have buried within me
And that’s why I’m so triggered angry and irritated….because it’s stuff I don’t wanna see in myself.
the more I work with this truth, the more years I’ve worked with it the healthier, the happier I am and my relationships are significantly better. I.e. were meaningful more authentic richer, healthier. Thank you, Dr. Shefali you have helped me so much in my 60+ years.
Thank you dear Oprah for continuing to reach out to people and make these life transforming interviews and your daily insights available. You are such a bright light and a blessing in this world. As eternal Souls, when we all see each other back in Heaven, we will thank you again.
Very interesting. To this day I remember a time when I was small, playing outside of the apartment building where we lived. At some point my mom decided we’re going back inside, and I didn’t want to leave. Clearly I was stubborn and she might have had good reasons to decide we should go. I can recall that the situation escalated because I didn’t want to go, which made my mother angry, and at some point she was demanding that I listen to her and look at her when she speaks to me, I remember that at some point she reached for my chin to turn my head and make me look at her, for some reason this one time I really didn’t want to, and the last thing I could do, and I did was turn my eyes to the side, then she got really angry, somehow we got straight back home and the first thing she did is give me a beating with this thick black leather belt. ( belt that no one even wore, because it didn’t have a buckle, so to add to the absurdity of this memory, it must have been bought at some thrift store, solely for the purpose of disciplining me and my sisters.)
To this day I can’t decide whether it is justifiable that my mother had to exercise authority, or like it is described in the interview, it was her own ego that lead her to get angry with me and punish me for simply not being ‘obiedent’
I remember what Sadhguru said that stayed with me forever. "We don't raise our children. We raise cows and pigs,etc. We cultivate children."
I love that this book goes in depth about this.
I agree that we should pay attention to so many things about ourselves, but especially our own world views.❤
This is how parenting should be. It's the most natural way yet not easy to do. I love Dr. Shefali and her work. Thank you Oprah.
I am getting this book, this interview is profound, thank you!!!
Authentic parenting is selfless, parents are stewards of children's spirit not owners ❤
I always negotiate with my daughters. Very important 👏
Wow - the questions Dr. Shefali poses are awesome!
We are a reflection of only ourselves, not our family or culture.
Her description of social media and its effects on all of us should be highlighted everywhere: 23:36
Oprah thanks for having Dr. Shefali. This was so enlightening and I plan to parent consciously. Appreciate it.
Finally someone who thinks like I do. It’s been hard to raise my children with someone who thinks so differently. My ego aside bless us all.
After listening to her i bought all her books. Now reading it ang hopefully apply it.
So powerful! Waiting for the arrival of my first baby girl any day now. I just purchased both book for Kindle and will start reading right away. Thank you!
I am speechless ( literally). So deep so profound . Though my children r quite old now n probably ots a bit late awakening but it definitely is going to help me immensely henceforth ❤ so grateful fr this life changing knowledge. Salute to d great mind of Dr Shefali. Love n light to every parent n child💕
This has truly blessed my life! I pray all the parents are able to self evaluate and become better for a cause bigger than themselves God bless her!
This has truly blessed my life! I pray all the parents are able to self evaluate and become better for a cause bigger than themselves 💯🙏🏽🙌🏽 God bless her!
Wooow you are AMAZING Dr.Shefali Thank you soooo much 🙏💖💖
This is such an important message. My heart breaks for all of the children out there who aren't valued and are parented by people who have no self awareness at all. And the children have no power, they just have to go along with what their parents say. Even parents who value their children overdo it, like the mother who sent in the question on this show about parenting the 17 year old. Oprah has always been a great advocate for children, our learning should never stop.
This is what I think! Children are just born, and often into bad homes. My heart breaks.
It makes me sick to hear her talk about children and knowing the truth about her.
@@PlantJunkyCREATIONS Breediots have children only for them to feel like God and for THEIR own benefit and entertainment, not for the child, they only have a child so that they have their own personal plaything, obedient slave who must glorify and finance them when they get old, as well as object for abuse and curing their complexes and mental illnesses. It would be better that all life never existed then to be born in this world of darkness and evil. By far the worst evil is to produce life and have a partner, what is partner, a human being which you use to cover your own deficiencies, weaknesses and gaps and who you use to fulfill your desires, no more, but certainly less.
Of all the evils committed by man, the worst one of all is to impose this reality upon another. A reality in which all manner of harm, abuse and horrors can be suffered by said individual.
@@PlantJunkyCREATIONS Who is the "her" that you are speaking about?
@@Sacred.WisdomObviously Oprah... do a little research on Hawaii fires. How do you not know she's part of all that?
as I have gotten older and have elderly parents now I can see lots of my parents childhood hurts, insecurities and such come out in their behaviors as they reflect & approach remaining years.
Me too. I wish I knew then as a child ( I’m 56 nowadays) what I knew now about my wounded parents. I would have had a much easier time. But I guess my soul chose to enter this planet to learn forgiveness and 💕
This book is just was important for educators, mentors, everyone.
I'm so happy to find this tonight! That is super helpful, will read this book soon.
yes, most people confuse love with attachment and control, that's the big human tragedy.
Very good guide on bringing more awareness to parenting! I applaud Oprah and Shefali for spreading this work
Thank you so much for this message, 🙏blessings to all watching this, we are healing, Oprah you this ish..
Happy new year Oprah Winfrey madam 🎉🎉🎉 ..thanks giving seasons . 41:19 41:19
She got me on “tough love”. 😭There is a fine line between empowering a child versus showing tough love.
What do you mean she got you on tough love? I believe in gentle but consistent parenting. I don’t approve of “ tough love”.
@@beholden1663 I think a lot of parents think that showing tough love is a good thing to help kids feel empowered, yet it is also a controversial one, especially growing up around it. Before conscious parenting, I thought that tough love is needed in parenting, but Dr. Shelfali revealed that it is unnecessary, and I agree! I feel a sense of relief that I don’t ever NEED to show tough love to my kids in order to be a good parent. Tough love struck a cord in my heart and made me tear up with guilt and relief that I ever showed that kind of love to my kids. Don’t worry, I’m a changed mama, but sometimes that behavior sneaks up on me. 😩
"The parent needs to raise themselves as much or if not more than they raise their children."
Millions of thanks to both of you, you are my brilliant mentors🙏✨❤️✨❤️
Whoooo I was snapping my fingers the whole time! This spoke to me! I need a map!! I definitely need this book.
24:36 _”We’re trying to do away with pain in our thirst for happiness and what we’re doing is creating greater fragility. Because we don’t have the resilience to tolerate pain. Because we’re wiping away pain. Yeah, nobody wants anybody to have a moment of uncomfortability. _*_And that is why our children are crumbling. Our children feel the pressure of this artificial world like no one else.”_*
😱💯
Yes and it’s probably more difficult to be a child or teenager in 2024 than in the 1980’s or any prior decade. It’s uncomfortable for parents or any person to look at their shadow orb” dark side.” That’s where the healing lies.
We are all so Blessed to have the Legendary Ms O guide us thru our Life has a roadmap.
Thank you Ms O for all that you Do and more.
Just Gratitude ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤...
Love Operah!
This is so revealing. It answers my anxiety of one day raising my child. Thank you for this gift
👏👏beautiful soul,
the two Ladies are on fire with wisdom❤❤..
Dear Super Souls, sending you a lot of love!💖
❤ ur wisdom is big Dr Shefali ty 🎉
Thank you so much for this information
Omg, so true. She helped me so much understanding things I needed to learn long ago.:)
I need this book!!!
Thank u, Oprah. It's so amayzing. I'll buy the book
Well done for the book from a beautiful soul who came out from hours of self-reflection
OMG!!! I love it so much!!! Big thank you!!!
YOU ARE SO PRETTY OPRAH❤
Yes she is
Ty icon Oprah and the guess ty much 🙏
Very deep!❤
Def reminds me of my Moma and alot l went thru and fight daily!!!
I want these books so badly❤
Very true!!❤❤❤
Great video
Wow! U blew my mind!
Za moj zivot Oprah je ucinila ono sto moja mama nije znala❤❤❤
💖
Same 💕
Wow✨, this changes a lot of things...🤔
How do partners deal with their own differences when it comes to parenting? One might be different to the other and that also potentially confuses the kids growing up. As partners we need to be in sync as well?
...Wonderful to see you, BOTH! ... ❤☕🍩🙏🌎 Sarrah, Jerusalem
Beatiful work
❤Oprah/Dr.Shefali light-bearer 🙏 gratitude for your spot on conversation on behalf of our world’s precious child race 👶🏻👶👶🏿At the heart is RESPECT for❤️childrenChildren foremost are in the protective palm 🙌of Almighty God’s grace🙏who is shepherds children’s instinctive inner knowing,as our life breath, itself.🙏Thank you for dialogue for parental enlightenment to unveil the brilliance/resilience of each child’s inner power! I know the angst as a mother of a child born with a trace of brain who illuminates all by his own being🙏
Yesssssss! Yesssssss! Yessssssssss! 👏🏾 💯💜💜💜💜💜💜😊 well done!
I remember telling my son that in order to be an effective parent he needs to reflect on his bad habits and not to project on his son. I think the message should be for psrents to be conscious before you can inspire. Parents need to do the work to earn their child's respect and trust. But to say to completely let go and relinquish over the power is putting it quite too simple and a bit dangerous. Although the parents is just part of the village that's raising the child. It's true it all starts with the primary caregiver then the rest of the village at some point starts coming into the mix. In order to understand the complexities of parenting the entire part of the equation needs to be taken into account. Especially with the advent of social media the world has changed. We cannot deny that there is a herd mentality phenomenon that is plaguing our society. Even when you are not controlling them somebody else will. Even in the animal kingdom parents has to protect their child from dangerous situarions. I think the premise is right but the provisions are still a bit flawed. Just my two cents.
Agreed I think healthy parenting includes boundaries. But gentle boundaries.
There are so many of my friends who are parents and who I would LOVE to share this video with, but they all speak Portuguese but there aren't any subtitles available 🥲
This was so good!
2 Corinthians 3:5
Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God
I don’t understand why isn’t it a month long video ‘s so we can have all the information and be able to metabolize it
Just take the child to church the bible says train the child up in the way they should go and they will not depart . Children need values that only comes from being a child of God .
Interests are the main reason since we knew the earth
It's a great great book! I love ' the Parenting Map " , where can I find it in Spanish!!!
Please share the OWN celebrates the new color purple full interview with us
Because ourselves, (at least me) we don’t know what love is ❤
Bom dia Opraha Winfrey eu só Victoria meu sonho é ti conhecer pessoalmente porque eu gosto muito da Opraha Winfrey eu só Deus ti a bênção e toda a sua família e sua vida 🎉🎉❤❤❤
You want to be a good parent? Take them to church, pray the rosary with them, stay together with your spouse and create a strong family.
This is comunism system-sorry, you can not take them if they do not want to come- it is not healthy to stay in a toxic relationship even for kids
Am Aidah Nansubuga from Uganda, how can I get a copy of that book because I really need.
Thank you
Great interview, appreciate both Oprah and Dr. Shefali deeply, however, with one thing I cannot agree. As a parent, you cannot simply 'let go'. If a one-year-old does not want to have his poopy diaper changed, you dont say; "Well, you can sit in your feces as you please!", if a two-year-old does not want their seat-belt fastened in a car, you dont say; "Well, just hop around the moving vehicle as you wish!", if a three-year-old does not want to leave the playground, you dont say; "Well, just get a taxi home when you are finished playing.", if a four-year-old only wants to eat only sweets and not brush their teeth, you dont say; "Would you like some more chocolate? And how about we throw away your toothbrush, it just takes space in the bathroom and collects dust anyways...". In these situations, you do not let go. You take control and enforce a situation in which the child is safe and healthy. Everything else is neglect.
I have no kids, and not planning to. But this is very insightful.
Shefali is beautiful.
She got nice eyes
Where can I order these books please? 🥺
I wish to have a copy! I am a new mom❤
heartdomdome
Summed up well in :
The Child is the Father of Man ( Gandhi )
I think that if Dr. Shefari would join Miss Universe. She will definitely win. She got the complete package 👸
Women like her know that pageants degrade her value. She is not the type to be objectified by her outer beauty. She knows it radiates from within
Hmmm 🤔 I think it’s a balance. There is a place to show authority. There is a place to tell your child to Sit Down without a dialogue. Parents have to know their call TRUE.. but it’s a dance
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I love watching Super Soul and all the good things that come from it! Can we go back to the more genuine and open style of 7 years ago without the huge microphones in the way?? It doesn't add enough to the audio, and takes away a lot from the more personal, shared spaces - the way Oprah has been interviewing long before these huge, silly things got in the way!
Hit it in 444. 🙏😍
but should we allow them to watch TV how much ever they want without 'controlling' their TV time?
I need to read the book because i am not sure i agree with this.
Send me one
Very interesting, however, most of the questions were not answered.
Feeling fearful about abductions
My babies are spoiled
I haven’t finished listening, not sure if I will, does, this doctor have children of her own?
Yes, she does and even admits she is not perfect but what she strives to be
🙋🏾🙏🏾💯 When a child born in a Old Testament Constitution, is Religion in Astrology in every Calendar created? How can 52 States compete with One Country in 55 Countries related to One Continent in PANGAEA? Can The Tribe of GAD and The Tribe of JUDAH build in Augusta, Georgia Holistically and Heal realistically without Jealousy?