You're Madly In Love But Pretend to Be "Just a Friend" (4-Video Compilation)
Вставка
- Опубліковано 6 кві 2024
- 🔴 LIVE Webinar Jun 12. CPTSD & The Feeling of Belonging: bit.ly/3ZBWFdf
🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: bit.ly/4dRI8Sj
Come See Me In Person! Workshops in US, UK: bit.ly/49rzM0Z
Do You Have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: bit.ly/3GhE65z
FREE COURSE: *The Daily Practice*: bit.ly/3X1BrE0
Website: bit.ly/3CxgkRY
***
Limerence is the name for an obsessive infatuation that becomes more like an addiction to someone who cannot or will not be with you. It's especially common in people who were emotionally neglected as children, who will often go to any lengths to avoid losing HOPE that their love may someday be returned. They will pretend to be a friend, and lie about their true feelings, knowing on some level that disclosing the truth would instantly end the other person's willingness to spend time together. In this 4-video compilation, I share some of my most popular videos about the cost of pretending you DON'T love someone, and what to do to restore hope in your life of finding an available person with whom you can build a fulfilling, reciprocal love.
The Signs of Limerence: FREE PDF Download: bit.ly/3PbqblT
***
🟢 Letters: Want to submit a question for me to answer in a video?
Keep it short, not too explicit, relevant for this audience.
bit.ly/3VVxqjm
🟢 Become a Member!
Access ALL my courses, webinars, group coaching & online community
bit.ly/3Zfx9dN
🟢 Take My Online course: Healing Childhood PTSD
bit.ly/3k6gQQH
🟢 How I Recently Lost 27 Pounds: ble.life/V9fe9O
🟢 Change Trauma-Driven Dating Patterns
Online course: Dating & Relationships for People with CPTSD
bit.ly/3IBbrv7
🟢 Learn to Heal Dysregulation
Online course: Dysregulation Bootcamp
bit.ly/3ZpjGAh
🟢 Heal Isolation and Build Better Relationships
Online course: Connection Bootcamp
bit.ly/3iuUEPz
🟢 Coaching Programs & LIVE Calls with Anna
🔹 NEW Coaching Program for DATING: Apply Now: bit.ly/3Qjdozs
🔹 8-Week Coaching Intensive for Healing CPTSD Symptoms: bit.ly/3wjVVjg
🔹 Join LIVE Webinars with My Team and Me: bit.ly/3ifhJ8U
🟢 PARTNERS/RECOMMENDED PRODUCTS
(I receive commissions on referrals & recommend services I know and trust)
🔹 Is Carb Sensitivity Sabotaging Your Energy and Weight? Take the Quiz:
ble.life/V9fe9O
🔹 NEED ONLINE THERAPY? BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist:
betterhelp.com/CCF
🔹 Try MUSE Headband to Calm Your Mind: choosemuse.com/ccf
You encouraged me to get treatment and acknowledge my limitations and rise above them. I appreciate you so so much for sharing all you do!
Wonderful! We appreciate you too!
Nika@TeamFairy
no more Mr. nice guy is a highly recommended book to all men in this channel
Great book, first one I read when I started my healing journey in 2019. I recommend recovering nice guys read it twice a year! Might be some value in there for women too, not sure though.
That is an AWFUL book. Do you know that the person who wrote it was divorced twice, had a string of failed relationships, and had a Venezuelan ‘partner’ who is ridiculously submissive because her dad beat her when growing up, and NOT because she’s in love with the guy? In other words, the only woman he could get (despite the fact that in videos he professes to be an ‘alpha male’), was damaged, NOT secure and with a good self concept?….You really want to take HIS advice?…
4 minutes in and your words cut like knifes. This compilation came at the exact right moment for me
Thank you for watching. Glad you are here!
Nika@TeamFairy
Anna, I’ve watched so many of your videos and learned so much from you - just wanted to say thanks and you’re awesome 🙏
When he said he started volunteering where she was to be near her that really creeped me out… that’s stalkerish behavior in my opinion. 👀
Agreed. He needs treatment and to focus on his kids…
Wow I'm a 42 year old guy that has been married three times in a cult, a high control group known as; the Jehovah's witnesses AKA watchtower bible and tract society, with no kids but had the same relationship with my mother always trying to regulate her and not disappoint her and all my ex-wives.
Real powerful stuff thanks so much Anna, you are definitely a blessing scent 💚😏🌿
Glad you are here!
Nika@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy awww thank you so so much 😏😇🌿
I did that once 😢it was awful - the second time I just started saying we are just friends and telling them that 😊 words r needed
But....what if you ARE friends with them? What if you fell for them because as you discovered more about them, the more you became interested. What if there are traumas they are working through and they're slowly doing the work? When is it limerence, and when is it just patience and understanding?
I think it's when you have obsessive (uncontrollable thoughts) about them. Or also if you become devastated if they don't end up reciprocating. I've learned it's good to set healthy expectations of them and what could be. Don't put the cart before the horse. But also, it might be best to not attach to someone who needs to "do the work" at all if you're in your position. Speaking from experience. It's so much more calming to your senses of you focus on your healing and shift your romantic ideals towards those who are healthy, which can only be done by getting to know them slowly over time without the intention of eventual dating.
Shout out to Anna's family for making this channel happen!
As usual, very interesting letters and stories a lot of us can relate to. And also, spot-on good advice for how to move forward in these types of situations. Thank you, Anna!
Thank you Anna for this video and the care you give to the work you do. You are making a difference with your content. Often it’s hard to hear, but it’s key to facing the truth and your practical insight is valuable.
I dont pretend that I'm my narcissistic spouse's "friend." I'm to busy pretending I have a spouse (when in reality, I don't) even though we had a wedding, and we live together. It's a sad, devastating existence.
It would be nice if your channel had a playlist with just letters from men. I'm gay so I definately relate to a lot of the letters from women, but there's a different feeling hearing these things from another man.
Love the new hair, CCF!
As I've begun to heal my limerant tendencies I've taken note of that "chemistry" feeling. I met someone last Summer, she asked for my number but I've been taking things super slowly because:
1) I'm still in recovery
2) I don't actually really know her well enough to determine if she's a good fit, the chemistry is there but I want to build a foundation of trust and respect before even going there. As well, to make sure our values and goals are aligned.
3) We don't live near each-other, she lives in a pretty remote area but an event will bring us together at least once a year.
Since I was a kid I noticed it jt takes me many months of regular contact to feel close with people (which is why I enjoy having roommates, it kinda speeds up that process).
It's sooo relaxing to not have expectations with her and just be kind, thoughtful, and respectful. If it turns out we're meant to just be friends it won't (I think..) be difficult if it doesnt go anywhere. If it doesn't become romantic, then I have this awesome friendship which means so much more to me these days than a fiery relationship.
Oh Limerence!,
Sigh….
I’m surprised there aren’t more songs about Limerence. I shall write many, cuz this ishT is difficult!
This is so accurate it hurts.
We're all here to support you :) -Calista@TeamFairy
40 and under 20 is crazy
Please cover the Rey Riveria case!! So crazy, I was JUST telling a friend about the oddities in that case. I thought I had heard of this case, but I was wrong, very strange circumstances indeed!!
I used to work with this guy we liked each other but he much younger. I never mix business with pleasure. 21 years later I saw him again, we no longer working with the same employer. we started flirting and it was fun until he wanted to hook up with me. I said, no not interested in that. I am looking for a long-term relationship and that was that... I stayed friends with him to this day. We text each other once in a blue moon. no flirting or anything sexual. I made pretty clear where I stand I am sure he was hoping to change my mind. He never did because I was not into him like he was into me.
Imho, The one with the, umm, "person" on the couch should contact his young girl and tell her, that if she really wants that, umm, "person", she should let him move in, and maybe tell her the whole story so that poor thing knows what she's in for.
If you are willing to tell someone your feelings but haven't done so yet, does that mean the feelings are not limerance?
Limerance is less about your feelings and more about the other person's unavailability or inappropriateness.
Being single is gold👍
no it’s not.
That is also dishonest and breaks the trust in that 'friendship'.
Someone needs to send this to the music artist, Fletcher 😂 or I just need to stop listening to her music!
She may have felt sorry for Jim too...
I have given up on love due to limerence... I don't feel like any woman could deal with my Traumatic Brain Injury-(TBI) "quirks"-( repeating myself, poor temper,poor short term momory,etc)...anyway...
👍😀👍
oh hey it’s a compilation of my 32-year life.
Awwwwwww dammit!!! 😮💨 _I don't want a real relationship tho lol_
Maybe she can join an all woman's soccer team??
Or find another hobby not involving this ALCOHOLIC MESS!!