What Depersonalization ACTUALLY Feels Like (Part 1)
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- Опубліковано 6 гру 2023
- 5 descriptions of depersonalization symptoms from people who wrote about their experience.
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Welcome to the official UA-cam Channel of Jordan Hardgrave - Certified trauma and resiliency life coach with a mission to transform the way we approach mental health.
Having grappled with a variety of mental health challenges including trauma, depersonalization/derealization, panic attacks, depression, and various forms of anxiety, I've personally experienced the struggle and desperation these symptoms can cause. Thankfully, I discovered a body-based healing method that not only brought me permanent healing, but also a new sense of purpose - to help others journeying through similar struggles. On this channel, you will find videos centered around mental health issues, strategies to overcome them, and tools to help you build resilience.
By subscribing and hitting that notification bell, you'll be the first to know whenever I release new videos. Every video is designed to empower, educate, and offer practical steps towards healing from trauma and it's associated symptoms.
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📚 DISCLAIMER:
Nothing I say should by email or in any form of communication replace a consultation with a licensed mental health professional and doctor for diagnosis and treatment. I am unable to diagnose or treat any sort of medical or mental health condition. I am also unable to prescribe medication or give any advice about medication other than my general opinion.
Anything I say in any form of communication is my personal opinion and should be treated as such and not taken as medical advice or seen as an attempt to diagnose or treat any sort of medical or mental health condition. Thank you.
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Let me know what depersonalization feels like for you. To take my free DPDR masterclass that gives the 5 shifts to become symptom free click this link:riseunlimited.net/recover
Holy cow, I cannot believe I found such a specific niche. My algorithm knew I needed to hear your message. My partner has a horrific past and suffers with depersonalization and derealization and the resources available to recover are zero to none. You were the first person to describe the reason mindfulness can help with these symptoms. I hope at some point we could get some coaching in the future, but money is tight right now. Thanks for the free content.
Jordan you've been with me through some tough times.Someone who hasn't experienced it has no clue what a living hell the symptoms are.Thank you for helping me getting out of the dark mazes of my mind,God bless you.
After having a brief period a year ago where i finally felt normal and present in my body the symptoms came back. Started to realize i’ve been in this state for majority of my life now just won’t go away
Ive just started my journey to heal from depersonalization and i am so happy i found this video because i had no idea how to explain whats been going on with me for over 15 years.
I come from a history of trauma, from my parents divorcing when i was 9. My dad, who i saw everyday completely disappeared. Mom was extremely emotionally abusive, pretty much using me as an emotional punching bag, with the last straw watching someone close to me die from cancer. I literally remember the feeling of my mental self detaching from my body that day because i had no support system to help me cope then or at any point of my life.
This has morphed into me getting married but not having the emotional skill to connect with wife and its taking a toll on everything.
Im just on a path now to reconnect with myself, learn ways to be better to myself and my family and be the best version of myself.
Thank you for this video.
I have terrible anxiety but couldn’t imagine feeling this way. Sending you love n hope for better days.
Completely relatable statement here, slowly but consistently been developing these symptoms. Though robot or an autopilot aren't the right metaphor for me, it's something else. Coming here, watching a couple of your videos, I think I'm just in a privileged state; I experience, all 13 or 14 symptoms out of 15 you've mentioned on another video, when I don't feel anxious. In other words, I'm feeling anxious for not being anxious. Sensory overload is when I get to temporarily forget about this.
I’m looking forward to the rest of the videos on this topic! 3 years into my longest chronic episode… I’ve described it as living in 20-30 fps vs 60-90fps, which I equate to non-DPDR perception. At its worst, it feels like I’m in a VR game with a headset and I’m living life through it; there’s the acknowledgment that when I move my arm, it moves, but there’s a spiritual disconnection.
It feels as if im viewing a video game character. You don't know what's going to happen next, but it goes on anyway. When people try to talk to me, I automatically respond, and I know what they are saying, and I know what I'm saying, but I don't know at the same time. I don't know how this conversation started, I don't know what's going on, but I do, if that makes sense. It's very frightening.
Even to the point where I am not even real in this unreal world. I can even watch myself from beyond ‘myself’. Spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically out of alignment. 🙏💝🙏
I’m now trying CBT / DBT breathing and staying away from stress. I love your videos.
Looking forward to the ones on derealization. Thats so hard to explain to people for me. It's like looking at the world through a foggy window that is separating my consciousness from the physical world.
Dang… That last one. Yes! That’s how it feels to me. All of them were close, but that last one… ick! I have literally felt like I was trapped in a glass cube watching from the inside, and no one can hear and see me in there.
Jordan, just two words. Thank you!
Happy to help
It's like I have never lived. That I haven't experienced anything it is and it is not at the same time. I come and go. Places and people are so foreign yet I know where I am and who they are, but I cannot feel it. I cry but without emotions. Everyday I wake up as new yet I am the same. My vision is 2d light hurts my eyes, car light blind me. My brain is dulled down by the immense foggyness that has taken over my intelligence. I can't think or process yet I can speak normally, but it happens without my knowledge. The words leave my mouth but I am watching and listening as it happens as if I am not the one doing it. My view of the world is in the back of my head. I am not here, I am a dead man walking. This is my life with dp/dr for so many years.
For me when I was at my worst, it was like the world around me was a simulation. I really felt like I was living in some kind of Truman Show world. I’d look at my hands or at the mirror and it just felt like it wasn’t me. That’s where the existential problems would usually come in
Hey have you seen any progress?? Mine is just getting so bad that I sometimes forget who I am too. It’s just so scary and I feel like it will never go away it’s been so long
Thanks for the video dude but how the hell do I go outside and with theses symptoms constantly going on feeling so unreal and so small in this big world
It feels like what I see in front if me is there, but at the same time it isnt there. Like im half conscious. And at its worst for me what happened seconds ago feels like it never happened. And I would come up with a coping mechanism and seconds later I would forget it and the realization that that kept happening made me feel like I was about to go insane. It hurt knowing that I would forget what I needed to help me and progress felt impossible. Memory lapses where also common. Im still going through it right now but its sanifigantly better. The first time the dissociation happened to me in a way that was noticable I felt like I was now living a hilucination because everything that was in front of me looked like it wasnt there anymore. And everything continues to look flat like im looking in 2.5D. It became noticable on a normal saturday night. I was playing a video game and I began to feel dizzy. Then things started to look distant and the room got darker. Then I felt my heart and it felt faint. Then a terrible dread engulfed me and I felt like I wasn't real anymore. The dread was never ending and it lasted for months. But I consider this dissociative attack to be an extremely important moment in my life. The dread carried on to help me realize that my actions whould never help me in the long run. I began to fear aspects of my self and changed many. I decided to start walking every night wich I would have never did before. I began to be around family more and basically lived in the living room because my room invoked dread in me. The dread would calm down and mostly disappeared at night. But during the dissociations worst I feared I had brain damage and would feel like this forever. We changed my room up some and now ive been able to be in there. The attack happend in april 2023 and got better in august.
Hi Jordan do you still offer your 5 steps program/book I’m interested but can’t seem to find any information on it thanks man!
For me it's the feeling that i am not existing anymore it's like I'm in another world I am blocked in the unknown i consistently asking who am I? Where am I? What is happening to me? And not finding any response not having responses push me to the dreadful depression I felt like dying every single second consistently dying I felt like wanting to scream and lose my mind I thought I am about to be insane.
Thanks for sharing. I am so sorry that you are experiencing this!
I would encourage you to check out the 5 Shifts to Heal from Trauma, Anxiety, Depersonalization & Emotional Numbness Masterclass. It is a free Masterclass that will show you the 5 shifts to become symptom free using a body-based approach. You can find the link in my main UA-cam profile as well as in the description and first pinned comment in any Video. Hang in there and thanks for commenting!
Wow, just wow. I have suffered severe levels of DP and DR for over 20 years. I have stories to tell about my journey: Where I started and where I am now. Survival. Coping. Existing. I am very close to this and have now subscribed. This is my daily life. Thank you for bringing this out. I am listening...
Thanks for sharing.
Its happen to me after i was stay at mental hospital for 12 days. I was volunteer for stay because of my anxiety, depression and panic disorder. I was scared to take medicine and i wasn’t go any better even i was going more bad shape. After my 5th day i sign 48 hours paper to release. They didn’t let me go. I also have mitral valve regurgitation and Premature ventricular contraction and i told them i need to see my cardiologist. They did not let me go for 7 more days and i was really stressed and feel stuck over there. After i come back home i wasnt me anymore. I am looking my family or my home and thinking about if all this things are real. Am i real? all this people real. Its just terrifying i feel like this every day and every minute. I feel like iam gonna go crazy am gonna lose my mind. I dont know how to describe this feeling. I am looking but i cant say its real or not. Its scared me a lot.
is there a way we can schedule an appointment to speak to you? do you do online counseling? Just wondering 🙏
When someone asked me how I was, I didn’t know what to reply because I didn’t know if I even was 😅
After 40+ years going thru this. Not feeling real like I'm in a fog with no real emotions to deal with.
Hell naw it couldn’t be that long 😮😮
I feel like im being controlled like the six paths of pain
i don't exactly remember when it happened or how it happened. but i think i was 10 years old, its i still deal with it, it has gotten worse, i been trying everything, i can't find a solution, i would be standing in a crowd of people and they would just look all dream like or fake, i would be trying to get through it, it's just so hard, i tried explaining to my friends and they all just laugh at me and try to make jokes about it all, i know this sounds crazy and insane, but is this moment right now real?
Is your master class 1 on 1 sessions or is it a course for purchase ?
Watched your video on Dpdr and this is exactly what happened to me for years,but I didn’t know to explain,thinking everyone feels like that
What help are you offering for DPDR sufferers?
Check out the 5 Shifts to Heal from Trauma, Anxiety, Depersonalization & Emotional Numbness Masterclass. It is a free Masterclass that will show you the 5 shifts to become symptom free using a body-based approach. You can find the link in my main UA-cam profile as well as in the description and first pinned comment in any Video. There is an opportunity to fill out an application for my Mentorship program.
Jordan, do you ever hear of people having urination problems from anxiety? The past 2 weeks I have a strong urge to pee even after just going. It’s almost a constant feeling of holding in a gallon. I’ve had almost everything ruled out by my doctors
I have this big time. My therapist says it’s a feature of an overactive nervous system and it’s not uncommon for people with extreme anxiety
I experience this at home a lot. If i leave the house suddenly I can hold my bladder 💀
Hey please i have one question i feel like i don’t live in present moment i don’t know how to explain but i don’t feel like i exist and im not connecting with present moment ?
It's hard to explain i know, just pray, maybe he'll respond to your comment someday.
Db make you feel yourself dead in side can it make you go mad im at my worst now no way out. Its hard to aee your getting better when you don't exist a toll. It took me a long time time to get a bit better now i got start all over again. 😢😢
Thanks for sharing! Wishing you the best on your journey towards recovery! Let me know if I can help!
Hi Jordon
How can I get in touch with you please?
What can I help you with?
I feel like I don’t have a soul.
Thanks for sharing, that is a common description for sure!
Hi Jordan
Thank you for your reply
I have tried to reply
But it couldn’t sent because address wasn’t found
Please let me know what is your email or anything else
Thank you
what kind of information are you lookin for? :)