Should you ask your friend out? | Will it be awkward?
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- Опубліковано 1 гру 2023
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Should you ask your friends out? Or is it a good rule of thumb to keep your dating life separate from your friend group? Sadie and I talk about a bunch of different topics in part one of our interviewing each other series!
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Thank you both for your insight!
I'm a guy, so I'm writing mostly from a man’s perspective, but I think some of our spiritual sisters may have similar questions/ concerns.
I think a risk of asking out a friend at church is that if they turn you down, it could seem like your romantic interests weren’t genuine if you ask out someone else from your church/ christ focused group (at least, depending on the time frame). Even in church, gossip sometimes happens. I think guys, in particular, fear having a reputation of asking out (and getting turned down by) multiple women in church. It may be a bit of an exaggeration, but our minds can sometime make it feel like you have one shot to ask out one person from church for the entire time you both attend the same church.
Church often has several single people with whom you can envision yourself possibly having a strong, Christ-centered future marital relationship.
With all of that in mind, a few questions if you have any suggestions:
1) If you get turned down by someone, how long would you suggest before asking out someone different from the same church?
2) Does it come off as desperate and/ or insincere if a new person who you ask out also heard you asked out and was turned down by someone else?
3) As you mentioned, it’s important to be assertive. But some people might be taken aback when they hear you say, “I’m interested in courting you with the prospect of marriage.” Of course, others would be thrilled to hear that. Do you have any suggestions for things you can say to ask someone out while being assertive but possibly not coming off as too over-the-top/ severe? Or should you just go for it?
4) If you’re interested in someone and find out your friend is also interested in the same person, any suggestions to increase the chances that your friendship will be saved if one or both of you plan to ask the person out?
5) So, someone at church (Person A) tells you that they are interested in dating you, but you aren't romantically interested in that person. However, you are romantically interested in that person's very close friend (Person B), who attends the same church. As close friends often do, you're pretty sure they talk together about their relationship efforts a lot. How can you handle this in a way that won't hurt Person A's feelings or your chances with Person B?
6) You've been talking at church for several minutes with someone you're romantically interested in. You're enjoying the conversation, and it's obvious the other person is too. But, after a while, you run out of things to say (or your mind goes blank from being nervous), and an awkward silence slowly begins to develop. After several seconds of silence has already set in, it can feel kind of weird to say, "Well, I enjoyed talking with you, and I'm looking forward to seeing you at church next week." Maybe saying that isn't weird, but I feel there is a better we can end the conversation. Do you have any suggestions for ways to wrap up such a conversation?
7) It’s, of course, important to know a person’s character and level of love for Christ before you ask them out. Some people may have different opinions on how long that process takes. If you’re new to a church (or interested in someone new to your church), and you feel you know the answers to the above and other important points, how early do you think it would be okay to ask out a person you’re interested in dating?
Also, if anyone reading this has any insight to share or would like to add to my question for Sam and Sadie, please feel free to do so!
Hey, these questions were great. I just wanted to say that you shouldn’t be closed off to meeting women outside of church in a Christian setting aside from church. Like a young adults, Christian concert, Christian small group, family members may know women within your age group. My point is don’t limit your circle to just church. God can bring you someone at His time anywhere.
You always have a fresh perspective. It's so interesting to hear honest opinions from both of you! Thank you for sharing your lives with us 😁
For Sadie: I know it’s commonly asked if it’s wrong for a girl to ask a guy out, but even if it’s okay, should a girl ask a guy out?
I don’t think there’s a problem for whoever initiated the relationship and starts it out by asking the other person out, but over time the man has to lead and the woman follow since that’s just the order of things.
@@Justyouraverageguy172nice answer
Read Ruth 3, you'll get the answer. It's a very short read.
I love you two!! ❤ Keep it up 🎉🎉
I’ve avoided asking people out, i find that i value the friendship fair more than the repercussions of rejection.
Thank you for sharing! I love watching your videos! I have a video idea, maybe it will be one you both are interested in. It would be wonderful if Sadie could do a video about how she prepared herself for marriage. Whether single or in a relationship moving towards marriage, I think it's important to spend time developing skills to be a good wife. Men can do this as well to prepare to be a Godly husband and leader. Maybe Sam could do his own version from a man's perspective. God bless you both and your marriage! ❤
Great video fam. 🙏🏻 Question for Sadie: Do you ever struggle with submitting to Sam? How does that process work for you? Are there any helpful resources, ground rules, or techniques you use that you think other wives might find helpful? -James
I love you guys!! Thank you so much for sharing your story! It’s absolutely helping me in my journey of finding a Godly man!
Question for Sadie: How did you pursue God in your time of singleness?
My question to you guys: What role does oversight and accountability play in your dating season and how has that changed/evolved into your marriage reason?
I had no idea you were so tall! Im also 6 foot 7, and i feel its a detriment to me. I always feel awkward around women who are invariably much smaller than me. I feel like they see me as a threat more than a potential spouse.
My question for you Sadie is, before you followed Sam on instagram did you trust God completely on Him crossing your paths with a godly man? Like, before you came across Sam and followed him, were you at a place of surrender?
I know you’ve given advise on dating but I have a question! In your perspective how can you glorify god in a log distance relationship??
For Sadie: Hi Sadie! Ive been texting this guy that my aunt set me up with. I really like him. He a Pastor and a wonderful man of God. He loves music. One day out of the blue he asking me for money to fund one of his music project he waa doing. I told him i didn't have it and he said that was ok but he never text me again. Should i continue text him. I really like him but i didnt like him asking me for money.
This comment will have nothing like the theme of the video but I needed to understand something if you can tell me why.
A friend of mine has often had erotic dreams in which he sometimes says he feels like he is feeling like he is in real life.(sex)
He says it's so real but so real that it feels like he's making love while sleeping awake and he sees all the details but can't see the person's face. But he quit porn and stuff a year ago so why does this happen? Could this be something demonic, the devil? or some wish he has to make? even because he never had sex. TBH I am really curious on this situation because I never saw something like this.
Yes their incubus and succubus spirits.They needs to fast and pray against those dreams and reject them.
Maybe it’s a dream of his future wife. I don’t think it’s always the devil. Sex can be fun and it’s necessary otherwise there would be a other way to create another life. If sex we’re totally sinn then god had a different way to make babies. Especially if you share those special bond with you one and only
I totally disagree about the height thing. Cuz I know plenty of people that are much shorter than me (I’m 6’5) and theses shorter guys have some of the worst personalities ever who treat women like crap. And women flock towards these men pretty much all the time. I think women are highly attracted to violence and bad boys. They may not admit but their actions speak otherwise.
👏👏👏🫶
Do you have a Christian playlist or a list of Christian artists you recommend?
Also I’m not sure if you have a video on this but do you have advice on handling a breakup as well as how to gain trust back and heal in order to pursue dating again? 🤍