I have a family member that has always acted in a way that always made me think, "How can someone act this way and think it is ok?" Well, my son texted me one night and said, "I know what so and so's problem is! She's a narcissist!" So I started listening to videos about it and sure enough, she's a full blown narcissist and it answers so many of my questions about her. Thanks so much for the information!
Education is only the beginning of understanding and knowing . Credentials only in societal views makes one a professional. College is set up for those just out of high school with no experience in life or situations. Elon Musk only has two Bachelor's degrees. Back in the day, health professionals did not need more than a bachelor's degree. Old nurses needed no degree. I would rather go and trust a reputable nurse practitioner, physicians assistant over many doctors....... Should I not believe you over a psychiatrist or a psychologist? The only way professional people can keep up with knowledge is to do continuous research. I do that in all areas. I know a cat from a dog and when their behaviors are off..... I need not be a veterinarian to know that. If fact older veterinarians were taught dogs have no real emotions!!!! I have had almost 49 years of experience with narcissistic people, before narcissistic behaviors were really talked about. I can say bingo, bingo , and bingo and know I study from psychologists and psychiatrists on line....I do not just Google. I know that I am not ordinary. I have a background in nursing and functional medicine. I would stake my life on my diagnosis on some U know Yes , I understand about the traits ...and the dark triad ........ I realized long ago about diagnosing.... Mental Health illnesses and spectrums have increased greatly since 1980, and especially more quickly the last twenty years. I am not arguing anything about what you have said. But this was a general informative video. , not speaking of all of the various possible diagnosis, spectrum possibilities. Again , people can be sure when a person is not " right". For sure , a proper diagnosis is needed. But no one can tell me when I have a checkmate re this person that I am incorrectly diagnosing this person whom I know personally and have worked with. He is a Malignant Narcissist with the dark triad ........spot on . I return to my research, studies.
I've been studying this information for more than 10 years, after a bad relationship with a narcissistic female, then I went home to family and realized they were like this, then I ended up working with people like this, it seems as though the number of people who are just out for and only think about self has dramatically increased and I'm surrounded by them, they may not all be diagnosable narcissists, but they're operating in that paradigm.
I think they just are behaving 'normal'. 'Normal' means...as human apex predators. Humans are not so nice animals, primates. I study for decades... One day i woke up and i had a lightbulb going on! I figured...what if this TERM narcissism, seen as a personality disorder IS JUST NORMAL HUMAN BEHAVIOR during CENTURIES, from the time humans existed? We are primates, like chimps. We are very dangerous as a species, like chimps too. I think it is NORMAL PRIMATE HUMAN BEHAVIOR, and like any other primate, like chimps...but in different grades.
I never met a psychiatrist who even recognized autism, asperger, cptsd, ptsd, narcissist, sociopath... They do have no knowledge, not even about sexual abuse, emotional abuse and do not even know how it looks like if you mourn, suffering losses. Nothing of importance. What they do is minimal and from the 1st visit you get meds prescribed. That seems their primal goal. Not much else. Meds, meds, meds. Not even knowing what meds do to your psyche and health. I spend money, time, decades in running in circles. I have discovered you are on your own.
@@heide-raquelfuss5580 So true. Is it really realistic to get a degree by literature rather than knowing and learning first handedly. And then they tell u, the person who actually live with a narc/sociopath etc. that ur actually not qualified to mention these titles or to know if u are suffering from mentally ill ppl. Trust urself and find the right help and ppl who know about it first hand❤❤
I have a bachelors in social psychology and in the early 90s they didn't study this like it's being studied now. That is part of the reason why I'm watching these videos. Also because I've been caught off guard by people with these characteristics. ❤
I had some one on my life that was quite narcissistic but there were other traits that concerned me. I did my research and discovered this person fit into the pyschopath criteria. It helped me to realise there was no way of dealing with this person so it was better to have minimal contact. A child custody issue was involved.
It is such a shame you are no longer an active personal theripest (not that i could probably afford you anyway). I have been literally non stop watching so many of your videos and I'd have to say, you are the most insightful person on many of these subjects. I love how you do not push an agenda and try to offer help but in such a broad way and with the understanding of really knowing your audience. I am just blown away by how well you seem to really understand so many different concepts. I wish you could offer me more personal and specific advice in my life, but the fact that you make these videos is so helpful and has really opened my eyes to so many different things. I know this has done wonders for me, and I know you are helping so many people in that same way. You are reaching people who would have never known you or your abilities without UA-cam and these videos are helping way more people than you ever could have doing one-on-ones. I am greatful to have came across you. I think you are absolutely doing a wonderful job, and please keep the information coming.
Please check also> Sam Vaknin. Dr. Ramani Durvasula R.C. Blakes jr. He is a pastor and gives so much advice to women. 1 of his books is called THE FATHER- DAUGHTER TALK. Tony Gaskins Another man with lots of good insights about men/women. Another book is> THE GIFT OF FEAR Written by Gavin de Becker I HOPE THOSE HELP YOU ALSO. kind regards from Belgium🇧🇪
I instinctively usually feel that I'm in the wrong, this subject helps me to understand that I may have merely been unlucky with some of my social relationships. It's also very interesting how differently motivated some people are.
I had a person in my life who was a pathological liar. I was bamboozled for years, and realized I was being manipulated and isolated through subtle manipulation after I disconnected. I’m learning how to trust people again in new friendships. I guess I want to “figure” it out so I don’t experience it again.
Same here. Im so happy u managed to get out of that relationship. Sorry that happened to u❤❤❤ Its not easy, but thats an opportunity to start over and heal. I personally realized I was a codependant and an adult child. Now I use the help of Coda and Aca to learn how to heal and to form heathy relationships. First with myself❤❤❤
I'm here because I have a few very difficult people in my life and I need to figure out as much info as possible. Plus I need to figure out (and I am figuring it out) why I attract so many people like this and how can I improve myself so I don't do it anymore. Trying to level up 💚
I'm a 40 year old narc abuse survivor who was struggling for a few years based on being told I was an awful person since I was a child. I spent years believing I was ill, and leaning more to aspd because I couldn't reconcile that I'm not the issue. I sought therapy on my own, 6-7 years ago due to my anxiety disorder starting to spiral out of control again. Turns out I have ADHD, along with gad, PTSD, and ocd and they all were caused (not the ADHD everything else tho-) by prolonged exposure to my likely maternal mNPD. I found your channel after starting to educate myself to understand how, if and why my relationship with my mother can be better managed by myself. Started with my therapists, and eventually started reading but videos are easier for me. I'm here to learn more about my own potential disorders in future. I'm scared I'm traumatized and gonna miss signs.
Do you think it"'s likely that lack of maternal reassurance, support, and care resulted in you having to mentally cope with life alone as a child, and the daunting anxiety provoking reality of that has been internalized and stuck with you causing your ongoing anxiety and ocd? Your ocd might be your mind's way of maladaptively trying to resolve it to keep you safe but instead perpetuates it. I think there is an irony that some of the activity of anxiety & ocd distract from things that would put a person in a better position.
Love the way you explain things Barbara. I care to understand all of that because I have dealt with several of them and at this point I am very scary of all those people and I just want to stay away from them. ASAP And I think there are too many of those out there too. Thank you!
Hello! I just interested in this topic because I need to keep bounderies with my narc co-workers (boss and her monkey). Thank you for your videos! They help!
I was under the impression that lacking remorse is the same as lacking empathy… but there are nuances of difference to consider. The family member I am thinking about often lacks remorse for the results of his actions but seems to display some empathy for others including pets. I could not fathom how one person could be this way and this discussion helps put a finer point on it. This person is currently in prison and cannot hold a normal job and doesn’t want to …. you see, the Boss is always a know-nothing jerk…this doesn’t bode well for successful reentry into society and the rules the rest of us abide by . I’d like to see more discussion about empathy and remorse! Thank you 🙏
I deal with people who seem to have zero self-awareness, empathy, and remorse. They blunder through life being absolutely awful to everyone around them, yet they are blissfully clueless. Not even in denial, because that would mean they were capable of self-awareness at all. I want to watch this to understand what's wrong with them and maybe how to deal with them better.
Hats off to you for your history of psychotherapy, and thank you for keeping us (non professionals) reined in. At this point in my life i am just happy to (mostly) recognize that something's wrong here with this or that person and -- SHIELDS UP 😊 👍🏼
I'm 49. I've been in therapy for 12 years working hard on detangling my childhood traumas. My mother has a pd (sociopathic-ish). I still struggle to identify toxic people and I want to keep learning so that I can continue to protect myself. I feel like knowing the subtle differences can help.
2 family members, I think their behaviors overlap in some instances, but charm and build a support networks that then pressured/es me into compliance, I lost my voice. They are different but seem to be both sides of the same coin, lack empathy, remorse, loyalty, charactor, can't " fess up" and resolve issues, they scapegoat and smear.
I have had several acts of SA against me throughout my life and most recently with my husband (soon to be ex) and I feel gullible. I don’t feel like it was my fault, but I just want to know who to avoid because I’m tired of healing from these acts against me. So, what I gather is I need to avoid charmers and people who don’t have real friends and who tend to have no respect for rules and authority. Thank you.
If you want to avoid abusive people, get to know new people carefully in a safe space so that you are acquaintances before becoming friends, and then close friends before you consider dating them...
Our subconscious mind is drawn to the familiar. Subconsciously the men you are drawn to have traits of your abuser. Your subconscious mind records everything from the day you are born. It's your inner child, and she wants to heal. X
I also feel that I need this knowledge because it's validating of my experiences. I was expertly gaslighted and as a result I really need to hold on to my truth and validate myself. Knowledge gives me some sense of something solid.
I was in the financial sector for over two decades and worked with a number of people with compromised values and extreme selfishness. It was this experience that led me to explore anti-social behaviour.
I came across this video and watched to gain more clarity on the difference between narcissist and antisocial personality disorders. I grew up with a step-dad who is a narcissist and suspect my MIL is as well. My ex-step-dad was extremely abusive/violent, cruel,etc and I was curious to know if he was just a narcissist or if there is overlap between that and antisocial or something completely different.
I am watching this to understand the people who are my parents. Neither has been diagnosed but they certainly would take up residence at the cluster B camp, given my experience and observations.
I'm interested in learning how to cope and deal with a spouse who fits a lot of the criteria for narcissism. 50 years, so I do have some examples to let me know it's not 'all in my head' as he would have me believe.
Really balanced video - thank you! I'm a lay-person who wants to know the best way of dealing with someone who's hurt me but doesn't care. And how to protect and support others.
In my experience, people with antisocial personality disorder tend to live in the present moment and act on their present impulses. They aren’t necessarily deliberately harmful, but can often be harmful through collateral damage - as they have real difficulty relating how they feel in the present, to how they will feel in the future as a result of consequences of how they are in the present. There appears to be a total disconnect between how they are in the present, with no emotional identification with their past behavior. In my opinion it is not an emotional deficit with ASPD, but an emotional deregulation. I also think people with ASPD are able to form genuine attachments and bonds with others. They are also far less likely to manipulate people’s emotions for sadistic, personal power or validation reasons. They tend to act immediately and in my opinion are far more direct, courageous and straightforward in their actions. Narcissists have much weaker inner cores. They are much more scheming, cowardly, self-glorifying and energy draining to engage with. If a person with ASPD decides to do something they will do it’s and damn the consequences. But they won’t go around trying to control people or emotionally degrade them, as it’s utterly meaningless and pointless to do so. It is all a spectrum of course, but as an example if a person with NPD tried to emotionally manipulate or verbally abuse a sociopath. That would result be an example of the type of behavior, that would probably result in an almost obsessive urge for the sociopath to take swift revenge and damn the consequences. Just my observations of course and I am by no means a licensed professional! 😅
You are the best in describing the Sociopath. My deceased husband was a sociopath. My former Pastor was a Narcissist. I was journaling what I was going through with him. I am now writing a book about what I went through. I was devasted in my marriage. I thank God I was in therapy. Great content!
Hi Barbara, thank you for explaining the differences between these narcissistic and antisocial personalities. There weren't enough differences between the sociopathic and psychopathic personalities, though. I'll take a look through your other great videos to see if you've done one. With thanks and best wishes!
I have been dealing with several people in my life whose behavior fit narcissistic personality disorder and of whom I am wondering whether they are also socio or psychopathic
Great video. Very well laid out and very informative--especially for students who are still in the process of learning and who are looking to gain invaluable insight. A great channel too!
I have a family member who has never made me feel safe…they remind me of a serial killer( when I watch docs on them) I’ve always wondered why I think such macabe thoughts.🥴 This video helped me so much. Just subscribed.❤
I was dating someone toxic and abusive who I thought was a narcissist but I now realize he’s more antisocial… that’s why I searched this. Thank you for your thorough explanation ❤
Recently while doing therapy I discovered my father was a narcissist and potentially and sociopath. The details around my mothers death have always felt wrong to me and I think it’s possible he killed my Mother and blamed the cancer. My father ticked all the boxes.
Great video! Would like a video about narcissists who love to brand drop and name drop. A person I’m aware of is wealthy with a family they are I believe are also narcissists and have an over inflated sense of themselves, they can afford to buy expensive things and contact people in the middle of the night who are professionals but it is all about making sure they are looked upon as superior to others and they get friendship from people.
Reasons I’m curious are many…there is someone who seems to b a very manipulative narcissist in the family, others with some tendencies, curious about myself and how to establish and hold boundaries and the learn that when people say or act badly-that is about them-not me (and with that-also for me to learn how to respond-not react). Being an only child, I mostly felt things were my fault or responsibility, re-training my mind to focus how to respond better. Thank u for the info-I enjoy learning.
This was very helpful. I had a malignant covert narcissist in my life. Did something so bad, I thought the person was sociopathic. This clarified it's the former, because the really bad was not consistent enough with the patterns. Even though I could check 5 off the narc, and 3 off the sociopath, I believe it's the former. The person is removed from my life, so the labelling is more an academic exercise; it will of course aid in more quickly identifying the nature of toxic people in the future.
Hello Doc. Thanks so this kind of knowledge. I am an ordinary person navigating through Chanel like this to learn about how people think, feel and behave. I just want to connect the dots . I have been in situations where I think wasn't rational according to my wiring. So am seeking more knowledge and guidance. The gaslighting had wanted to kill me, but I have now learned to cope with the help of sites like yours. Thanks a million ❤
Pausing in the intro: I'm watching this to perhaps better understand myself/self-diagnose, or to see if I actually have any of the characteristics of any of these categories.
My Daughter has given me the silent treatment for months. Acts entitled. Refusing to even ask before she has come over. Refuses me contacting my grandchildren or allowing me contact with them on my terms. Refuses to allow me to be alone with my youngest grandson. She insists on being present always. Refuses to discuss or even mention any issues she has with me.
I am in a troubled marriage. I have been told she is a grandiose narcissist. However, I have also had a marriage coach tell me she is a psychopath and recommended I divorce her. I know I have done some narcissistic things both during and before this marriage. ( 2nd for me 3rd for her).
Hi! I am studying for a Phd in Forensic Psychology. Someone mentioned Elizabeth Bathory in a discussion post. I was just looking for comparative information to form an adequate response.
Well you’re not going to get a pathological narcissist in for therapy so we got figure it out. A weird lack of ownership of what they say unguarded.. 30 years, patterns, exactly, labels are pointless
Curiosity brings me here. I've learned a fair bit about NPD after having some very unpleasant experiences with these people in the recent past, and am now curious about the differences between this and ASPD.
I used to be a professional, but am retired and never worked with personality disorders anyway. I was taught that NPD was so rare, I'd never meet someone who had it, so appx. 5 mins. was spent on it in Univ. I married into a family where it seems like there are 2 people who may be on the NPD spectrum, so I've been watching and reading about it more. Like you said, it doesn't really matter that much, since it was so toxic that we've already gone no contact.
So interesting! The DSM -4 had a very low prevalence rate listed and then it jumped for the DSM -V to about 6% (working from memory here but I think that is about right). I also think it is underreported because they don’t show up in therapy…
@@BarbaraHeffernan - Ah, yes, the open secret that the people who most need therapy are not the ones who are going. The ones you see in therapy are the ones who have had to live with the ones who need it most!
I have a masters in psychology and work in behavioral health. I’ve noticed over the last 6+ years the trend in using narcissism as the ultimate insult, so people all over social media-and psychologists, unfortunately-are capitalizing on this. Suddenly, the world is full of “narcissists”, and that’s the lens by which others view people if they feel offended. It’s a destructive thing to be doing, especially when money is made from promoting it. Sickening, honestly.
Yes, a number of my videos say this exact thing! I do agree. In fact, I decided to do some videos on this because I really disagreed with what many YT videos were saying…. This video is just addressing a question that is googled a lot and has a different focus.
I am trying to deal with the fallout from a divorce. It seems like Narcissist is thrown around a lot. I like the point that you don't need a diagnosis to know you need boundaries. Just because a person is toxic to me does not mean they have a personality disorder. At the very least it only matters in the way that they fit into my own story. Thank you for these videos I am really benefiting from them.
Reason for being here: a family member who lacks empathy and I am trying to understand what I'm dealing with. I'm also an undergrad getting a BA in Psych.
I know I'm a covert narcissist (strangely self-aware) but nobody has ever diagnosed me with NPD. Even my Psych Nurse Practioner doesn’t think I have it which is funny because I fit the diagnostic criteria to the extreme. Obviously I hide it from most people because otherwise it would make my life even more difficult but anyone around me long enough finds out. How do I get diagnosed?
Hi @katrinadancer: how would a diagnosis help you? Often there is a crossover with complex trauma... so if you'd like to work on some of this, a trauma specialist might help... there are also coaches and programs which help people develop their empathy - if that was of interest. Thinking through which elements you would like to change or what emotions come up when you think of changing them might help as well. I wish you health and happiness!
I have some difficult relatives with various mental illnesses. But the main reason I’m here is because I live in a world where I have to hear about Donald Trump and Elon Musk everyday.
Your comment made me laugh..bc i feel the same.i have come across people who love trump and i just wonder what on earth is wrong w them.he is so clearly a narcissist...it s so obvious it is ridiculous.he doesnt even try to hide behind a facade.
I've been perplexed by how I can feel other's pain so deeply, often times strangers, yet I seem pretty numb to actually causing others pain (incl family). In spite of being quite ethical in ways that seem hard or foreign to others, I regularly break some precious social norms with no guilt at all (such as adultery.) I just watched an interview with a diagnosed sociopath. and had unexpected things in common.
I am here to get a better understanding of a narcissist, I had, HAD a friend and co-worker for about 20 yrs and now retired and in another state, he was a good friend but you had to watch him, he would be-little you, stab you in the back, steal and always had to buy bigger cars, homes etc, always had to have the best but he's broke.
I am a trauma survivor I am finding myself healing and able to spot unhealthy friendships and relationships I have always had this However, I am becoming more aware and severing those relationships because I are the abuse that comes From them
A few thoughtful comments made by a very intelligent, interesting and very wise man. Here are three: "What a terrible era in which idiots govern the blind." "Hell is empty and all the devils are here." And finally: "All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players.” __ William Shakespeare
Perhaps William 🤔was referring to some particular individuals which he knew rather well. William appears to have been blessed with a phenomenal memory. Nevertheless, there are many evidences that he suffered from dyslexia. (Shout out to him for surviving and thriving! I was diagnosed with dyslexia in 4th grade. Someone discovered that I was memorizing all the words, even though I was reading them, from right to left. 🤯Aaarrgh.) Shakespeare spelled his own name, three different ways. - - Hey, If it wasn't for spell check I couldn't spell it at all. Worthy of Notice: Modern day professional "experts" claim Will had🥳 an " intelligence quotient" of at least 210- 220 or higher. Yikes. As a reference...Albert Einstein's IQ was around 160 (give or take a point or two)...but he kept his home address pinned inside his coat lapel...(onveniently located - where the conductors knew it was...for those numerous & pesky daily emergencies)... when Albert, forgot to get off the train and then...just couldn't remember where he lived...or recite his address from memory. No Judgment...his mind was probably cluttered with things like the Theory of relativity...et al. Perhaps Albert didn't want to go home...to face criticism or gaslighting. Just saying!
Married a long time and then divorced. I had no choice in the end because his hostile behavior got worse.To me it was very important to have categories for his alien personality to confirm he isn’t one of a kind, which is what he thinks . He meets all 9 criteria for narcissism, and all traits for a psychopath. It was confusing and he played a lot of head games, and I didn’t want to believe he could be so broken. After 10 years of debating I diagnosed him as a covert, Machiavellian, misogynist and malignant narcissist. And if not a psychopath he’s a schizoid ( he had great ways of getting rid of my friends) Labels help with knowing what to expect. For me the labels changed my life. I was convinced that there was something wrong with me because these people and these conditions are so bizarre.
I’ve heard a lot of things about each of these terms. My understanding of each of these terms is that they’re all very different. I have a lot of the symptoms I believe of sociopathy and I’m struggling to determine what is happening
So I have a question. Is it possible that someone starts out as a narcissist and later develops into a sociopath or anti-social personality? Or are they always the sociopath and just gets worse as they age?
I have a sibling I believe to be a narcissist. I haven't spoken to them in years, but back when I was trying to figure out, "why do they act like this? How can live their life with this kind of viewpoint?" I did run a bunch of searches (in the early web, before youtube) trying to figure out what diagnosis might explain his behavior. Once it clicked with NPD, it felt relieving to know that there was a diagnosis, that I wasn't just a crazy person who was being "mean" to my sibling for not believing his gaslighting. In those days, "is this person a psychopath?" did cross my mind, and I looked up symptoms and they never really fit. I feel like maybe back then NPD wasn't know in layman circles, so NPD didn't come up right away (mostly because I didn't know to search for it). I watched this video just out of curiosity to know how the two are different, since it's been so long since I read those "signs of a psychopath" web pages.
@@sine8811 well, let me think back, it's been some years since I interacted with them. One thing was that they always seemed to think that any off the cuff remark anyone made was actually pointedly directed at them. Like for a fictional example, if teenage me were to say something like, "ugh, I hate people who talk too much." they might reply with, "I don't talk that much!" There were also instances where they believed that literally all of their teachers were against them - this when I had heard privately from teachers who liked them and liked *me* more as a result of my older sibling. Their symptoms were a lot more subtle when they were younger, but they had a strong lack of empathy for others; other people only exist to give them what they want, and if they can't do that then those people might as well not exist.
@@sine8811 One additional thing is that this sibling remained "unmasked" in front of me, so for years I wondered how anyone willingly invited them into their lives. They have a spouse and a child. It wasn't until the last few years, when another of my siblings told me that Narc had said they "know I need help" that I realized, Narc was only unmasked for me and probably his spouse and child after they married; Narc produces the image they want others to see when I am not around. And I know this based on that single statement, because I have been privy to much of Narc's life up until they were about 30 or so, and they never, ever took responsibility for anything being wrong in their life - their problems were always caused by someone else. I should have known that Narc put on an act for others, after having read so much about narcissists, but I never realized it until that moment. It explained so many things I about other people's reactions to Narc that I didn't understand for years.
Curious about the difference due to exposure to someone diagnosed ASPD, and another related person is likely narcissistic and there’s a dynamic between them. Behavior has similarities but is clearly different and knowing the definitions is helpful in understanding it
have a brother who lies, steals, manipulates constantly. Real arrogant and can be violent. Never admits anything. I actually feel sorry for him, that's obviously not healthy way to live. No one in the family bothers to interact with him. Appart from my mum who protects him with all he might. Haven't talked to him in years. I wish him well, narcissist or not. He obviously has deep issues.
My mom's brother is like that, fortunately he is not a blood realities. He is a confidence man who has only been convicted of tax evasion but the worse I know of is domestic violence and having a busyness partner who was suing him put into the trunk of his trunk in airport parking...
I've listened to hundreds of hours on this topic trying to get a real understanding of what these terms mean. I would say that most videos have a bias to the effect of... there's a clear victim and a clear demon. I don't think that's actually the case. A lot of content out there (I would say, not yours) gets murky in terms of actually defining it in an unbiased way. That makes it really hard for someone like myself to dig through for get a clear answer. If there are a certain percentage of the population walking around that are narcissists, where are they? How can I see one? How do I know whether or not I am talking to one? What does that mean if they are? Can they even help it? If you think of these personality types as having two sides, good and bad, that's an interesting thought experiment. Narcissists are very charming people and fun to hang out with sometimes. If they explain to you what they are doing, it sounds pretty good, even though it is basically an explanation of how they are pursuing their own interests. It's the "good side" that we ignore. Later on when it's like - hey wait a minute they don't care about ANYONE else... hahaha it's too late. I wasn't able to detect it in time. I truly appreciate your videos. Thank you for making them. I can't seem to get enough clarification on these terms! So I appreciate how you articulate the different aspects of it. Even after all the time I've spent listening to this topic, I am getting new valuable information listening to you. So thank you
75 yrs old here. Ignorance is bliss, but then when you are psychologically slapped in the face by behavior of someone you thought you knew, then you need to learn new things. What I’m wondering, are people with these disorders just unhappy, people who don’t know how to be thankful. …that’s probably simplifying too much.
No. They’re emotional infants who never fully developed the emotional capacity and empathy needed to be around normal healthy people appropriately. Likely due to their own neglect, abuse, or even possibly a combination of that and head trauma.
My whole family is narcisstic/psychopathic on both sides. Crazy I wasn't able to see it until a horrible relationship with a narcissist girl who wanted to ruin my life and false accuse me. Wild
I'm going through a divorce, and reflecting and I'm very concerned that I lack empathy or have npd. I'm worried that I'm unaware of harm I'm causing and very confused. Seeking therapy now, but also trying to sus out my feelings.
My son has been in a relationship with a woman. They were actually engaged to be married. She has broken off the relationship in a very public place. I am concerned about the impact that her behavior has had on my son who is now very fragile and has suicidal ideation. In doing reserach on narcisstic personality disorder and borderline personality disorder and she appears to have many of the symptoms described. I'm reading the book "Walking on Eggshells." I'm trying to help him see that he is not the problem. He is in treatment and I believe that he will survive this relationship.
I am a child of a pathological narcissist, I am also a psychologist,and work with offenders and substance abuse issues. Working you can see a differentiated perspective than within your personal relationships.
My mum has cptsd. I got diagnosed with anti social personality disorder. I don't think I'm that any more. I was just unlucky enough to have a mum with mental illness. And I have Truama
I came here because I've grown up around people like this and after talking with a young lady at work and a narcissist man at work it made me realize I probably should revisit these descriptions and try to learn what is commonly meant by the different descriptions. I think my father may have been a sociopath. I definitely work 3 years for a church deacon who is a psychopath. No I'm not qualified to diagnose, but other people who have known these people came to the same conclusions. It just helps to watch videos and learn to discern the different criteria looked at, and presented in these people. Narcissists have more emotions feelings. Psychopaths have less. I'm still not clear on why there are names for symptoms and then there are DSM diagnoses terms. It appears there are different structures under which these conditions are named or called.
It can be confusing trying to work out what and who you are dealing with. I realized the problematic person in my life was a narcissist when I searched the internet several years ago. Then I settled on him being a covert malignant narcissist which is supposed to be just under a psychopath. To confuse matters more I can see now that the covert has a lot of the behaviours of all 3 types mentioned here, not sure if that means he is a dark triad. Maybe the easiest way to think about things is to look for low to no empathy in a person and stay away from them as this is what makes a person dangerous to be around.
The dark tetrad... psychopathy, narcissism, machevelieism, and sadism. I knew someone with the dark tetrad, and he saw people as objects. He wasn't kind to animals at all. He was angry and got addicted to drugs. He came across as extremely confident and fearless but told me he did suffer from anxiety although he hid it well. He had an awful childhood, beaten and mind games from his dad. His stepmother SA him. He hated women and men, In fact, he hated the world and blamed the world for him being the way he was. He was a serial cheater and said he had a sex addiction. He was cruel to women and used them a lot. He's had therapy and has quit the drugs, so he comes across as a nice person now, and he has helped people. I believe he helps them as he gets praised for doing it and gets narcissistic supply from it. He seems to have calmed down with age.
I recently met with a former friend who I have always thought was emotionally unbalanced. We met at a party a few months ago and he told me he had broken up with his long time boyfriend-life partner. I told him I was sorry to hear it and he sort of waved me off and said it was fine. We then met again sometime later and I asked why he and his boyfriend had broken up and he then told me that they were still together. I reminded him that he had told me they had broken up a few months prior and he looked me in the eye and asked me, 'did I?' and dismissed the idea and changed the subject. I remember I always felt he was gaslighting me during our friendship and that is why I let it dissolve. My question is what makes someone behave that way?
I have a family member that has always acted in a way that always made me think, "How can someone act this way and think it is ok?" Well, my son texted me one night and said, "I know what so and so's problem is! She's a narcissist!" So I started listening to videos about it and sure enough, she's a full blown narcissist and it answers so many of my questions about her. Thanks so much for the information!
Very same had happened to me in my family & friends….unfortunately several times 😮😮ugh
Same here. My bro is one and he is manipulating everyone in the family except me
Education is only the beginning of understanding and knowing .
Credentials only in societal views makes one a professional.
College is set up for those just out of high school with no experience in life or situations.
Elon Musk only has two Bachelor's degrees.
Back in the day, health professionals did not need more than a bachelor's degree.
Old nurses needed no degree.
I would rather go and trust a reputable nurse practitioner, physicians assistant over many doctors.......
Should I not believe you over a psychiatrist or a psychologist?
The only way professional people can keep up with knowledge is to do continuous research.
I do that in all areas. I know a cat from a dog and when their behaviors are off.....
I need not be a veterinarian to know that.
If fact older veterinarians were taught dogs have no real emotions!!!!
I have had almost 49 years of experience with narcissistic people, before narcissistic behaviors were really talked about.
I can say bingo, bingo , and bingo and know
I study from psychologists and psychiatrists on line....I do not just Google.
I know that I am not ordinary. I have a background in nursing and functional medicine.
I would stake my life on my diagnosis on some U know
Yes , I understand about the traits ...and the dark triad ........
I realized long ago about diagnosing....
Mental Health illnesses and spectrums have increased greatly since 1980, and especially more quickly the last twenty years.
I am not arguing anything about what you have said.
But this was a general informative video. , not speaking of all of the various possible diagnosis, spectrum possibilities.
Again , people can be sure when a person is not " right".
For sure , a proper diagnosis is needed.
But no one can tell me when I have a checkmate re this person that I am incorrectly diagnosing this person whom I know personally and have worked with.
He is a Malignant Narcissist with the dark triad ........spot on .
I return to my research, studies.
My husband has all the things under narcissistic and anti social behaviour. He had all the psychopath ones. He’s far more the narcissist though.
I've been studying this information for more than 10 years, after a bad relationship with a narcissistic female, then I went home to family and realized they were like this, then I ended up working with people like this, it seems as though the number of people who are just out for and only think about self has dramatically increased and I'm surrounded by them, they may not all be diagnosable narcissists, but they're operating in that paradigm.
Wow, that is a lot to deal with. Wishing you healing and happiness
Similar situation for me….we have to heal our own wounds so we will not be susceptible to this abuse anymore
I think they just are behaving 'normal'.
'Normal' means...as human apex predators.
Humans are not so nice animals, primates.
I study for decades...
One day i woke up and i had a lightbulb going on!
I figured...what if this TERM narcissism, seen as a personality disorder IS JUST NORMAL HUMAN BEHAVIOR during CENTURIES, from the time humans existed?
We are primates, like chimps.
We are very dangerous as a species, like chimps too.
I think it is NORMAL PRIMATE HUMAN BEHAVIOR, and like any other primate, like chimps...but in different grades.
I never met a psychiatrist who even recognized autism, asperger, cptsd, ptsd, narcissist, sociopath...
They do have no knowledge, not even about sexual abuse, emotional abuse and do not even know how it looks like if you mourn, suffering losses. Nothing of importance.
What they do is minimal and from the 1st visit you get meds prescribed.
That seems their primal goal. Not much else.
Meds, meds, meds.
Not even knowing what meds do to your psyche and health.
I spend money, time, decades in running in circles.
I have discovered you are on your own.
@@heide-raquelfuss5580 So true. Is it really realistic to get a degree by literature rather than knowing and learning first handedly.
And then they tell u, the person who actually live with a narc/sociopath etc. that ur actually not qualified to mention these titles or to know if u are suffering from mentally ill ppl.
Trust urself and find the right help and ppl who know about it first hand❤❤
I have a bachelors in social psychology and in the early 90s they didn't study this like it's being studied now. That is part of the reason why I'm watching these videos. Also because I've been caught off guard by people with these characteristics. ❤
I had some one on my life that was quite narcissistic but there were other traits that concerned me. I did my research and discovered this person fit into the pyschopath criteria. It helped me to realise there was no way of dealing with this person so it was better to have minimal contact. A child custody issue was involved.
So sorry to hear that. Wishing you health and ❤️🩹 healing
It is such a shame you are no longer an active personal theripest (not that i could probably afford you anyway). I have been literally non stop watching so many of your videos and I'd have to say, you are the most insightful person on many of these subjects. I love how you do not push an agenda and try to offer help but in such a broad way and with the understanding of really knowing your audience. I am just blown away by how well you seem to really understand so many different concepts. I wish you could offer me more personal and specific advice in my life, but the fact that you make these videos is so helpful and has really opened my eyes to so many different things. I know this has done wonders for me, and I know you are helping so many people in that same way. You are reaching people who would have never known you or your abilities without UA-cam and these videos are helping way more people than you ever could have doing one-on-ones. I am greatful to have came across you. I think you are absolutely doing a wonderful job, and please keep the information coming.
Please check also>
Sam Vaknin.
Dr. Ramani Durvasula
R.C. Blakes jr.
He is a pastor and gives so much advice to women.
1 of his books is called THE FATHER- DAUGHTER TALK.
Tony Gaskins
Another man with lots of good insights about men/women.
Another book is>
THE GIFT OF FEAR
Written by Gavin de Becker
I HOPE THOSE HELP YOU ALSO.
kind regards from Belgium🇧🇪
I instinctively usually feel that I'm in the wrong, this subject helps me to understand that I may have merely been unlucky with some of my social relationships. It's also very interesting how differently motivated some people are.
Keep in mind that some people are just looking for someone to use or abuse.
If they think that you are vulnerable, they just may seek you out...
I had a person in my life who was a pathological liar. I was bamboozled for years, and realized I was being manipulated and isolated through subtle manipulation after I disconnected. I’m learning how to trust people again in new friendships. I guess I want to “figure” it out so I don’t experience it again.
Same here. Im so happy u managed to get out of that relationship.
Sorry that happened to u❤❤❤
Its not easy, but thats an opportunity to start over and heal.
I personally realized I was a codependant and an adult child.
Now I use the help of Coda and Aca to learn how to heal and to form heathy relationships.
First with myself❤❤❤
I'm here because I have a few very difficult people in my life and I need to figure out as much info as possible. Plus I need to figure out (and I am figuring it out) why I attract so many people like this and how can I improve myself so I don't do it anymore. Trying to level up 💚
You need to set boundaries and know your worth.
Look into the Alice Miller material and also Walker's CPTSD book. There's a whole bunch of books like this on audible.
I am diagnosed with both NPD and ASPD
I'm a 40 year old narc abuse survivor who was struggling for a few years based on being told I was an awful person since I was a child.
I spent years believing I was ill, and leaning more to aspd because I couldn't reconcile that I'm not the issue.
I sought therapy on my own, 6-7 years ago due to my anxiety disorder starting to spiral out of control again.
Turns out I have ADHD, along with gad, PTSD, and ocd and they all were caused (not the ADHD everything else tho-) by prolonged exposure to my likely maternal mNPD.
I found your channel after starting to educate myself to understand how, if and why my relationship with my mother can be better managed by myself.
Started with my therapists, and eventually started reading but videos are easier for me.
I'm here to learn more about my own potential disorders in future.
I'm scared I'm traumatized and gonna miss signs.
Stay connected to a support system like family and a therapist. You can also find a Bible verse or two that speaks peace to you.
Do you think it"'s likely that lack of maternal reassurance, support, and care resulted in you having to mentally cope with life alone as a child, and the daunting anxiety provoking reality of that has been internalized and stuck with you causing your ongoing anxiety and ocd? Your ocd might be your mind's way of maladaptively trying to resolve it to keep you safe but instead perpetuates it. I think there is an irony that some of the activity of anxiety & ocd distract from things that would put a person in a better position.
Love the way you explain things Barbara. I care to understand all of that because I have dealt with several of them and at this point I am very scary of all those people and I just want to stay away from them. ASAP And I think there are too many of those out there too. Thank you!
You are very welcome and thanks for letting me know why you watched this! I hope it is helpful.
🧡💛💚💙@@BarbaraHeffernan
Hello! I just interested in this topic because I need to keep bounderies with my narc co-workers (boss and her monkey). Thank you for your videos! They help!
I was under the impression that lacking remorse is the same as lacking empathy… but there are nuances of difference to consider. The family member I am thinking about often lacks remorse for the results of his actions but seems to display some empathy for others including pets. I could not fathom how one person could be this way and this discussion helps put a finer point on it. This person is currently in prison and cannot hold a normal job and doesn’t want to …. you see, the Boss is always a know-nothing jerk…this doesn’t bode well for successful reentry into society and the rules the rest of us abide by . I’d like to see more discussion about empathy and remorse! Thank you 🙏
I deal with people who seem to have zero self-awareness, empathy, and remorse. They blunder through life being absolutely awful to everyone around them, yet they are blissfully clueless. Not even in denial, because that would mean they were capable of self-awareness at all. I want to watch this to understand what's wrong with them and maybe how to deal with them better.
Thank you for the information ❤🙏
Hats off to you for your history of psychotherapy, and thank you for keeping us (non professionals) reined in. At this point in my life i am just happy to (mostly) recognize that something's wrong here with this or that person and -- SHIELDS UP 😊 👍🏼
I'm 49. I've been in therapy for 12 years working hard on detangling my childhood traumas. My mother has a pd (sociopathic-ish). I still struggle to identify toxic people and I want to keep learning so that I can continue to protect myself. I feel like knowing the subtle differences can help.
I wish you all the best
Same situation
2 family members, I think their behaviors overlap in some instances, but charm and build a support networks that then pressured/es me into compliance, I lost my voice. They are different but seem to be both sides of the same coin, lack empathy, remorse, loyalty, charactor, can't " fess up" and resolve issues, they scapegoat and smear.
I have had several acts of SA against me throughout my life and most recently with my husband (soon to be ex) and I feel gullible. I don’t feel like it was my fault, but I just want to know who to avoid because I’m tired of healing from these acts against me. So, what I gather is I need to avoid charmers and people who don’t have real friends and who tend to have no respect for rules and authority. Thank you.
If you want to avoid abusive people, get to know new people carefully in a safe space so that you are acquaintances before becoming friends, and then close friends before you consider dating them...
So so sorry you have dealt with this.... Your description is legit and very helpful for my own awareness for loved ones, thank you ❤️🙏🏻
Our subconscious mind is drawn to the familiar. Subconsciously the men you are drawn to have traits of your abuser.
Your subconscious mind records everything from the day you are born. It's your inner child, and she wants to heal. X
Both parents were narcissists. Most siblings are weird combos. Histrionic, bipolar and narcissists. Hits all of Hare's list.
Simply curious
I also feel that I need this knowledge because it's validating of my experiences. I was expertly gaslighted and as a result I really need to hold on to my truth and validate myself. Knowledge gives me some sense of something solid.
I was in the financial sector for over two decades and worked with a number of people with compromised values and extreme selfishness. It was this experience that led me to explore anti-social behaviour.
I came across this video and watched to gain more clarity on the difference between narcissist and antisocial personality disorders. I grew up with a step-dad who is a narcissist and suspect my MIL is as well. My ex-step-dad was extremely abusive/violent, cruel,etc and I was curious to know if he was just a narcissist or if there is overlap between that and antisocial or something completely different.
I am watching this to understand the people who are my parents. Neither has been diagnosed but they certainly would take up residence at the cluster B camp, given my experience and observations.
I'm interested in learning how to cope and deal with a spouse who fits a lot of the criteria for narcissism. 50 years, so I do have some examples to let me know it's not 'all in my head' as he would have me believe.
Really balanced video - thank you! I'm a lay-person who wants to know the best way of dealing with someone who's hurt me but doesn't care. And how to protect and support others.
Thanks for letting me know :) so pleased you found it balanced and helpful!
Many survivors of abuse do need to have some idea of what type of personality they are dealing with. It does matter.
I watch this in an effort to find my way.
In my experience, people with antisocial personality disorder tend to live in the present moment and act on their present impulses.
They aren’t necessarily deliberately harmful, but can often be harmful through collateral damage - as they have real difficulty relating how they feel in the present, to how they will feel in the future as a result of consequences of how they are in the present.
There appears to be a total disconnect between how they are in the present, with no emotional identification with their past behavior.
In my opinion it is not an emotional deficit with ASPD, but an emotional deregulation. I also think people with ASPD are able to form genuine attachments and bonds with others. They are also far less likely to manipulate people’s emotions for sadistic, personal power or validation reasons.
They tend to act immediately and in my opinion are far more direct, courageous and straightforward in their actions.
Narcissists have much weaker inner cores. They are much more scheming, cowardly, self-glorifying and energy draining to engage with.
If a person with ASPD decides to do something they will do it’s and damn the consequences.
But they won’t go around trying to control people or emotionally degrade them, as it’s utterly meaningless and pointless to do so.
It is all a spectrum of course, but as an example if a person with NPD tried to emotionally manipulate or verbally abuse a sociopath. That would result be an example of the type of behavior, that would probably result in an almost obsessive urge for the sociopath to take swift revenge and damn the consequences.
Just my observations of course and I am by no means a licensed professional! 😅
People with aspd can have primary psychopathy - in which case they cannot build any bond .
Try both 🤫
You are the best in describing the Sociopath. My deceased husband was a sociopath. My former Pastor was a Narcissist. I was journaling what I was going through with him. I am now writing a book about what I went through. I was devasted in my marriage. I thank God I was in therapy. Great content!
Hi Barbara, thank you for explaining the differences between these narcissistic and antisocial personalities. There weren't enough differences between the sociopathic and psychopathic personalities, though. I'll take a look through your other great videos to see if you've done one.
With thanks and best wishes!
Mature student in the field of counseling. And I have toxic family member.
I'm a social worker.
I have been dealing with several people in my life whose behavior fit narcissistic personality disorder and of whom I am wondering whether they are also socio or psychopathic
👍 and I’m wondering will that change what you need to do within the relationship?
Great video. Very well laid out and very informative--especially for students who are still in the process of learning and who are looking to gain invaluable insight. A great channel too!
I have a family member who has never made me feel safe…they remind me of a serial killer( when I watch docs on them)
I’ve always wondered why I think such macabe thoughts.🥴
This video helped me so much. Just subscribed.❤
I was dating someone toxic and abusive who I thought was a narcissist but I now realize he’s more antisocial… that’s why I searched this. Thank you for your thorough explanation ❤
Recently while doing therapy I discovered my father was a narcissist and potentially and sociopath. The details around my mothers death have always felt wrong to me and I think it’s possible he killed my Mother and blamed the cancer. My father ticked all the boxes.
Great video! Would like a video about narcissists who love to brand drop and name drop. A person I’m aware of is wealthy with a family they are I believe are also narcissists and have an over inflated sense of themselves, they can afford to buy expensive things and contact people in the middle of the night who are professionals but it is all about making sure they are looked upon as superior to others and they get friendship from people.
Trying to understand my brother and to deal with him better. To have the best relationship possible.
Very Good Video.
Thank you very much! I hope it is helpful!
Hello Barbara. I am a retired counselor wanting to learn new information to enhance my training and experiences and to stay updated.
I have family members who are very difficult.
Reasons I’m curious are many…there is someone who seems to b a very manipulative narcissist in the family, others with some tendencies, curious about myself and how to establish and hold boundaries and the learn that when people say or act badly-that is about them-not me (and with that-also for me to learn how to respond-not react). Being an only child, I mostly felt things were my fault or responsibility, re-training my mind to focus how to respond better. Thank u for the info-I enjoy learning.
Family members maybe and just curious
This was very helpful. I had a malignant covert narcissist in my life. Did something so bad, I thought the person was sociopathic. This clarified it's the former, because the really bad was not consistent enough with the patterns. Even though I could check 5 off the narc, and 3 off the sociopath, I believe it's the former. The person is removed from my life, so the labelling is more an academic exercise; it will of course aid in more quickly identifying the nature of toxic people in the future.
Hello Doc. Thanks so this kind of knowledge. I am an ordinary person navigating through Chanel like this to learn about how people think, feel and behave. I just want to connect the dots . I have been in situations where I think wasn't rational according to my wiring. So am seeking more knowledge and guidance. The gaslighting had wanted to kill me, but I have now learned to cope with the help of sites like yours. Thanks a million ❤
This is very informative, great content. Thank you! I come from a family of cluster Bs and recently finished divorcing a psychopath.
Wow, that’s a lot. Sounds like you are very resilient! Wishing you healing and happiness
Mental Health Clinician
Trying to understand my 83 year old mother
This is so helpful for me in my relationship. Thank you.
I am here after watching Saltburn and I am also Taking clinical psychology masters programme, I want to understand the difference
Pausing in the intro: I'm watching this to perhaps better understand myself/self-diagnose, or to see if I actually have any of the characteristics of any of these categories.
My Daughter has given me the silent treatment for months. Acts entitled. Refusing to even ask before she has come over. Refuses me contacting my grandchildren or allowing me contact with them on my terms. Refuses to allow me to be alone with my youngest grandson. She insists on being present always. Refuses to discuss or even mention any issues she has with me.
I am in a troubled marriage. I have been told she is a grandiose narcissist. However, I have also had a marriage coach tell me she is a psychopath and recommended I divorce her.
I know I have done some narcissistic things both during and before this marriage. ( 2nd for me 3rd for her).
Hi! I am studying for a Phd in Forensic Psychology. Someone mentioned Elizabeth Bathory in a discussion post. I was just looking for comparative information to form an adequate response.
Wonderful! Good luck with your PhD! That is terrific. An important field.
I have adopted 2 little boys, number 3 and 4 of a growing family of 6, going on 7, I need to hear your stuff
Well you’re not going to get a pathological narcissist in for therapy so we got figure it out. A weird lack of ownership of what they say unguarded.. 30 years, patterns, exactly, labels are pointless
I'm doing a study on Npd bi Polar Bpd and general personnel disorders and for applying it to therspy
Curiosity brings me here. I've learned a fair bit about NPD after having some very unpleasant experiences with these people in the recent past, and am now curious about the differences between this and ASPD.
I used to be a professional, but am retired and never worked with personality disorders anyway. I was taught that NPD was so rare, I'd never meet someone who had it, so appx. 5 mins. was spent on it in Univ. I married into a family where it seems like there are 2 people who may be on the NPD spectrum, so I've been watching and reading about it more. Like you said, it doesn't really matter that much, since it was so toxic that we've already gone no contact.
So interesting! The DSM -4 had a very low prevalence rate listed and then it jumped for the DSM -V to about 6% (working from memory here but I think that is about right). I also think it is underreported because they don’t show up in therapy…
@@BarbaraHeffernan - Ah, yes, the open secret that the people who most need therapy are not the ones who are going. The ones you see in therapy are the ones who have had to live with the ones who need it most!
Just a curious browser.
I have a masters in psychology and work in behavioral health. I’ve noticed over the last 6+ years the trend in using narcissism as the ultimate insult, so people all over social media-and psychologists, unfortunately-are capitalizing on this. Suddenly, the world is full of “narcissists”, and that’s the lens by which others view people if they feel offended. It’s a destructive thing to be doing, especially when money is made from promoting it. Sickening, honestly.
Yes, a number of my videos say this exact thing! I do agree. In fact, I decided to do some videos on this because I really disagreed with what many YT videos were saying…. This video is just addressing a question that is googled a lot and has a different focus.
Hey barbara , How did you initially start your journey on psychology, was was your inspiration?
I am trying to deal with the fallout from a divorce. It seems like Narcissist is thrown around a lot. I like the point that you don't need a diagnosis to know you need boundaries. Just because a person is toxic to me does not mean they have a personality disorder. At the very least it only matters in the way that they fit into my own story. Thank you for these videos I am really benefiting from them.
Reason for being here: a family member who lacks empathy and I am trying to understand what I'm dealing with. I'm also an undergrad getting a BA in Psych.
I know I'm a covert narcissist (strangely self-aware) but nobody has ever diagnosed me with NPD. Even my Psych Nurse Practioner doesn’t think I have it which is funny because I fit the diagnostic criteria to the extreme. Obviously I hide it from most people because otherwise it would make my life even more difficult but anyone around me long enough finds out. How do I get diagnosed?
Hi @katrinadancer: how would a diagnosis help you? Often there is a crossover with complex trauma... so if you'd like to work on some of this, a trauma specialist might help... there are also coaches and programs which help people develop their empathy - if that was of interest. Thinking through which elements you would like to change or what emotions come up when you think of changing them might help as well. I wish you health and happiness!
Curious. Interested
I have some difficult relatives with various mental illnesses. But the main reason I’m here is because I live in a world where I have to hear about Donald Trump and Elon Musk everyday.
I do understand… some of these traits can be rewarded externally. But it is not a world I’d want to live in internally.
Your comment made me laugh..bc i feel the same.i have come across people who love trump and i just wonder what on earth is wrong w them.he is so clearly a narcissist...it s so obvious it is ridiculous.he doesnt even try to hide behind a facade.
@@pwood6532 A lot of them think the fact that he is a narcissist is a positive. They like that he is hurting people they dislike.
NARC'S utilize each other in their common quest to advance Evil in this world.
Learn to fly above and look down.
With that perspective, things are better than you think.
I've been perplexed by how I can feel other's pain so deeply, often times strangers, yet I seem pretty numb to actually causing others pain (incl family). In spite of being quite ethical in ways that seem hard or foreign to others, I regularly break some precious social norms with no guilt at all (such as adultery.) I just watched an interview with a diagnosed sociopath. and had unexpected things in common.
I am here to get a better understanding of a narcissist, I had, HAD a friend and co-worker for about 20 yrs and now retired and in another state, he was a good friend but you had to watch him, he would be-little you, stab you in the back, steal and always had to buy bigger cars, homes etc, always had to have the best but he's broke.
I am a trauma survivor I am finding myself healing and able to spot unhealthy friendships and relationships I have always had this However, I am becoming more aware and severing those relationships because I are the abuse that comes
From them
A few thoughtful comments made by a very intelligent, interesting and very wise man.
Here are three:
"What a terrible era in which idiots govern the blind."
"Hell is empty and all the devils are here."
And finally:
"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players.”
__ William Shakespeare
Perhaps William 🤔was referring to some particular individuals which he knew rather well.
William appears to have been blessed with a phenomenal memory. Nevertheless, there are many evidences that he suffered from dyslexia. (Shout out to him for surviving and thriving!
I was diagnosed with dyslexia in 4th grade. Someone discovered that I was memorizing all the words, even though I was reading them, from right to left. 🤯Aaarrgh.)
Shakespeare spelled his own name, three different ways. - - Hey, If it wasn't for spell check I couldn't spell it at all.
Worthy of Notice:
Modern day professional "experts" claim Will had🥳 an " intelligence quotient" of at least 210- 220 or higher. Yikes.
As a reference...Albert Einstein's IQ was around 160 (give or take a point or two)...but he kept his home address pinned inside his coat lapel...(onveniently located - where the conductors knew it was...for those numerous & pesky daily emergencies)...
when Albert, forgot to get off the train and then...just couldn't remember where he lived...or recite his address from memory.
No Judgment...his mind was probably cluttered with things like the Theory of relativity...et al.
Perhaps Albert didn't want to go home...to face criticism or gaslighting.
Just saying!
Married a long time and then divorced. I had no choice in the end because his hostile behavior got worse.To me it was very important to have categories for his alien personality to confirm he isn’t one of a kind, which is what he thinks . He meets all 9 criteria for narcissism, and all traits for a psychopath. It was confusing and he played a lot of head games, and I didn’t want to believe he could be so broken. After 10 years of debating I diagnosed him as a covert, Machiavellian, misogynist and malignant narcissist. And if not a psychopath he’s a schizoid ( he had great ways of getting rid of my friends) Labels help with knowing what to expect. For me the labels changed my life. I was convinced that there was something wrong with me because these people and these conditions are so bizarre.
I’ve heard a lot of things about each of these terms. My understanding of each of these terms is that they’re all very different. I have a lot of the symptoms I believe of sociopathy and I’m struggling to determine what is happening
Thank you!!
So I have a question. Is it possible that someone starts out as a narcissist and later develops into a sociopath or anti-social personality? Or are they always the sociopath and just gets worse as they age?
Yes it’s possible, also all sociopaths and psychopaths are narcissist but not all narcissist are either psychopaths or sociopaths. Hope that helps .
I have a sibling I believe to be a narcissist. I haven't spoken to them in years, but back when I was trying to figure out, "why do they act like this? How can live their life with this kind of viewpoint?" I did run a bunch of searches (in the early web, before youtube) trying to figure out what diagnosis might explain his behavior. Once it clicked with NPD, it felt relieving to know that there was a diagnosis, that I wasn't just a crazy person who was being "mean" to my sibling for not believing his gaslighting. In those days, "is this person a psychopath?" did cross my mind, and I looked up symptoms and they never really fit. I feel like maybe back then NPD wasn't know in layman circles, so NPD didn't come up right away (mostly because I didn't know to search for it). I watched this video just out of curiosity to know how the two are different, since it's been so long since I read those "signs of a psychopath" web pages.
@@sine8811 well, let me think back, it's been some years since I interacted with them. One thing was that they always seemed to think that any off the cuff remark anyone made was actually pointedly directed at them. Like for a fictional example, if teenage me were to say something like, "ugh, I hate people who talk too much." they might reply with, "I don't talk that much!" There were also instances where they believed that literally all of their teachers were against them - this when I had heard privately from teachers who liked them and liked *me* more as a result of my older sibling. Their symptoms were a lot more subtle when they were younger, but they had a strong lack of empathy for others; other people only exist to give them what they want, and if they can't do that then those people might as well not exist.
@@sine8811 One additional thing is that this sibling remained "unmasked" in front of me, so for years I wondered how anyone willingly invited them into their lives. They have a spouse and a child. It wasn't until the last few years, when another of my siblings told me that Narc had said they "know I need help" that I realized, Narc was only unmasked for me and probably his spouse and child after they married; Narc produces the image they want others to see when I am not around. And I know this based on that single statement, because I have been privy to much of Narc's life up until they were about 30 or so, and they never, ever took responsibility for anything being wrong in their life - their problems were always caused by someone else. I should have known that Narc put on an act for others, after having read so much about narcissists, but I never realized it until that moment. It explained so many things I about other people's reactions to Narc that I didn't understand for years.
Have someone in my life who’s very nonchalant about their problematic behavior
My S.I.L’s husband is sociopathic(their daughter is schizophrenic diagnosed) quite scary>they’re dangerous, unstable, quiet as they plot their evils!
Trying to understand a toxic ex who idealised and discarded quickly and had no respect for boundaries.
Curious about the difference due to exposure to someone diagnosed ASPD, and another related person is likely narcissistic and there’s a dynamic between them. Behavior has similarities but is clearly different and knowing the definitions is helpful in understanding it
im pretty sure i have sociopathy and narcissism
Edit: I thought this WAY before watching this, i just came here to double check
have a brother who lies, steals, manipulates constantly. Real arrogant and can be violent. Never admits anything. I actually feel sorry for him, that's obviously not healthy way to live. No one in the family bothers to interact with him. Appart from my mum who protects him with all he might. Haven't talked to him in years. I wish him well, narcissist or not. He obviously has deep issues.
My mom's brother is like that, fortunately he is not a blood realities.
He is a confidence man who has only been convicted of tax evasion but the worse I know of is domestic violence and having a busyness partner who was suing him put into the trunk of his trunk in airport parking...
I've listened to hundreds of hours on this topic trying to get a real understanding of what these terms mean. I would say that most videos have a bias to the effect of... there's a clear victim and a clear demon. I don't think that's actually the case. A lot of content out there (I would say, not yours) gets murky in terms of actually defining it in an unbiased way. That makes it really hard for someone like myself to dig through for get a clear answer. If there are a certain percentage of the population walking around that are narcissists, where are they? How can I see one? How do I know whether or not I am talking to one? What does that mean if they are? Can they even help it? If you think of these personality types as having two sides, good and bad, that's an interesting thought experiment. Narcissists are very charming people and fun to hang out with sometimes. If they explain to you what they are doing, it sounds pretty good, even though it is basically an explanation of how they are pursuing their own interests. It's the "good side" that we ignore. Later on when it's like - hey wait a minute they don't care about ANYONE else... hahaha it's too late. I wasn't able to detect it in time.
I truly appreciate your videos. Thank you for making them. I can't seem to get enough clarification on these terms! So I appreciate how you articulate the different aspects of it. Even after all the time I've spent listening to this topic, I am getting new valuable information listening to you. So thank you
75 yrs old here. Ignorance is bliss, but then when you
are psychologically slapped in the face by behavior of someone you thought you knew, then you need to learn new things.
What I’m wondering, are people with these disorders just unhappy, people who don’t know how to be thankful. …that’s probably simplifying too much.
No. They’re emotional infants who never fully developed the emotional capacity and empathy needed to be around normal healthy people appropriately. Likely due to their own neglect, abuse, or even possibly a combination of that and head trauma.
My whole family is narcisstic/psychopathic on both sides. Crazy I wasn't able to see it until a horrible relationship with a narcissist girl who wanted to ruin my life and false accuse me. Wild
I'm going through a divorce, and reflecting and I'm very concerned that I lack empathy or have npd. I'm worried that I'm unaware of harm I'm causing and very confused. Seeking therapy now, but also trying to sus out my feelings.
My son has been in a relationship with a woman. They were actually engaged to be married. She has broken off the relationship in a very public place. I am concerned about the impact that her behavior has had on my son who is now very fragile and has suicidal ideation. In doing reserach on narcisstic personality disorder and borderline personality disorder and she appears to have many of the symptoms described. I'm reading the book "Walking on Eggshells." I'm trying to help him see that he is not the problem. He is in treatment and I believe that he will survive this relationship.
I am a child of a pathological narcissist, I am also a psychologist,and work with offenders and substance abuse issues. Working you can see a differentiated perspective than within your personal relationships.
My mum has cptsd. I got diagnosed with anti social personality disorder. I don't think I'm that any more. I was just unlucky enough to have a mum with mental illness. And I have Truama
I came here because I've grown up around people like this and after talking with a young lady at work and a narcissist man at work it made me realize I probably should revisit these descriptions and try to learn what is commonly meant by the different descriptions.
I think my father may have been a sociopath. I definitely work 3 years for a church deacon who is a psychopath.
No I'm not qualified to diagnose, but other people who have known these people came to the same conclusions.
It just helps to watch videos and learn to discern the different criteria looked at, and presented in these people. Narcissists have more emotions feelings. Psychopaths have less.
I'm still not clear on why there are names for symptoms and then there are DSM diagnoses terms. It appears there are different structures under which these conditions are named or called.
I'm a guy with eupd and autism, doing as much as I can to learn about npd and aspd.
It can be confusing trying to work out what and who you are dealing with. I realized the problematic person in my life was a narcissist when I searched the internet several years ago. Then I settled on him being a covert malignant narcissist which is supposed to be just under a psychopath. To confuse matters more I can see now that the covert has a lot of the behaviours of all 3 types mentioned here, not sure if that means he is a dark triad. Maybe the easiest way to think about things is to look for low to no empathy in a person and stay away from them as this is what makes a person dangerous to be around.
I married a covert narcissist . I know I’m dealing with him, he’s my husband. I need a lot of help, learning to deal until I can get away from him
I hope you’re doing well and that you got away safely.
I am greatly appreciative
8.6. 4m
The dark tetrad... psychopathy, narcissism, machevelieism, and sadism.
I knew someone with the dark tetrad, and he saw people as objects. He wasn't kind to animals at all. He was angry and got addicted to drugs. He came across as extremely confident and fearless but told me he did suffer from anxiety although he hid it well.
He had an awful childhood, beaten and mind games from his dad. His stepmother SA him.
He hated women and men, In fact, he hated the world and blamed the world for him being the way he was.
He was a serial cheater and said he had a sex addiction.
He was cruel to women and used them a lot. He's had therapy and has quit the drugs, so he comes across as a nice person now, and he has helped people. I believe he helps them as he gets praised for doing it and gets narcissistic supply from it. He seems to have calmed down with age.
I recently met with a former friend who I have always thought was emotionally unbalanced. We met at a party a few months ago and he told me he had broken up with his long time boyfriend-life partner. I told him I was sorry to hear it and he sort of waved me off and said it was fine. We then met again sometime later and I asked why he and his boyfriend had broken up and he then told me that they were still together. I reminded him that he had told me they had broken up a few months prior and he looked me in the eye and asked me, 'did I?' and dismissed the idea and changed the subject. I remember I always felt he was gaslighting me during our friendship and that is why I let it dissolve. My question is what makes someone behave that way?
My husband of 30 yrs is surely a narcissist but I am interested if he could be a sociopath or psychopath.