Digging Deep Into the Healing the Inner Trauma Child (HITCH) Method. The Codependency Cure!

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024
  • In this video Ross talks about his latest clinical / psychological discoveries. Specifically, he introduces the primary subjects in his 6 hour seminar Healing The Inner Trauma Child. Ross passionately explains how he discovered the HITCH method, while illustrating some of his most important concepts. To learn more about the HITCH video:
    www.selflovere...
    Recorded and produced from July 2019 live presentation

КОМЕНТАРІ • 137

  • @dish8796
    @dish8796 5 років тому +85

    I peeled back the layers to find my childhood trauma, only took me to age 57. I went to many therapist, many meetings all my adult life. I took what I needed and left the rest. No one ever mentioned narcissist abuse nor narcissist abuse syndrome. Ive found so much relief in figuring it out & I havent had any severe aniexty attacks since. Yes you have helped me, confirmation is everything & Im growing❤

    • @beachbunny7256
      @beachbunny7256 5 років тому +8

      Congrats!! Best wishes on your recovery! I'm 56 and never heard about covert narcissists or attachment trauma either until these videos!! Ross is awesome!!

    • @yehudismalkamunnell5177
      @yehudismalkamunnell5177 4 роки тому +2

      I am starting the healing process. His advice is the only advice that when I have put into action, actually works!! I'm so blessed to discover him by accident.

    • @florencefallon5990
      @florencefallon5990 3 роки тому

      I am thrilled to come across this! I'm 56 and my life has never 'worked'. Any advice on where to start with this healing is appreciated.

    • @makaylahollywood3677
      @makaylahollywood3677 3 роки тому +1

      @@florencefallon5990 Melody Beattie, Pia Melody and Ross Rosenberg. Begin with learning about you- self-care, love yourself. Keep a journal. Spend time with good people.

    • @florencefallon5990
      @florencefallon5990 3 роки тому

      @@makaylahollywood3677 Thank you!

  • @Daimo83
    @Daimo83 4 роки тому +29

    When I was 16 I cried on the floor and told my mother I was so repressed. I just listed 23 traumatic incidents that I've always consciously carried. It's taken me 20 years to realise my many failed relationships/dates were because I don't love myself like everyone else seems to. I've ordered your book and for the first time I'm hopeful. As you said in another video, "once you see it you can't unsee it".

    • @yehudismalkamunnell5177
      @yehudismalkamunnell5177 4 роки тому

      I'm am slowly healing too. His words are like liqued gold to me. I'm so grateful that he has discovered all thease techniques

    • @janis2348
      @janis2348 Рік тому +1

      When I was teenager my mom said to me: “you don’t even love your self” and now I realize that I never learned how to love myself

  • @rockyroadranch72
    @rockyroadranch72 5 років тому +46

    I accidently stumbled upon what happened to my trauma child at the age of 55. I'm now 60 and living alone. I really need to heal now.

    • @jenrich111
      @jenrich111 5 років тому +16

      At least you are living with your best friend. I live with myself and we can treat ourselves with kindness now.

    • @rockyroadranch72
      @rockyroadranch72 5 років тому +8

      @@jenrich111 you're right about that! Thank you for reminding me. I suck at giving myself hugs though. Heheh

  • @titaniumwallace3361
    @titaniumwallace3361 5 років тому +40

    My kundalini awakening ripped the bandage off and made me face the horrific childhood abuse I experienced...many Fractured bones and emotional abuse then at 15 my father tried to strangle me to death and I went to foster care. So at 57 I went no contact. I couldn’t function for about 6 months as I felt completely shattered to what the abuse had done to me. I didn’t know who I was and became very ill with severe depression and fibromyalgia. You and Lisa Ramano have opened my eyes to what I experienced that trauma therapist could not seem to articulate and all though I always remembered all of it I couldn’t feel it till I woke up.15 months has passed and I’m beginning to heal with understanding and so much compassion for that poor little girl who was me. And now determined to thrive and heal completely ❤️

    • @Makeupandmuscles827
      @Makeupandmuscles827 3 роки тому +3

      yes Lisa put me on the path to understanding. Some resources and concepts I found: CPTSD, ACE quiz, the body keeps the score.

  • @kazeeevaughan3380
    @kazeeevaughan3380 5 років тому +19

    Thank you Ross. There's so much misinformation out there on codependency & narcissism. Your years of experience & detailed information gives me hope I can heal if I'm ready to put in the effort. So many dark days I have experienced over my 54 years & now I find myself longing to be in the light & heal. My narc mother did the ultimate abandonment & discard when she discovered she had cancer. She & other family members kept her diagnosis from me & my children (her grandchildren). I was told her & my father were going on a trip around Australia. Once they left, I couldn't reach them & had no idea where they were. It took 5 years to find out that she (my narc mother) had died & that my father had her cremated & has her ashes with him. I found all this out because I heard a rumour at another family members funeral, so I went to births deaths & marriages office & requested her death certificate. I was devastated, no goodbyes, no nothing. The ultimate act of abandonment.. I honestly find this so hard to process. Thank you.

    • @mosebjadi4036
      @mosebjadi4036 3 роки тому +3

      This is so painful to read. Im really sorry, this is one of the saddest things I've ever heard.💔💔💔

  • @deb9784
    @deb9784 4 роки тому +6

    As I read the comments discussed below, my heart goes out to each precious one! As we walk into recovery, may we learn to love ourselves so we can finally be free from the pain and self hatred that we were taught to carry! Thank you so much, Ross! My heart has been warmed by your compassion, vulnerability, and amazing insights! I feel as if a light bulb has finally been turned on! Now after 61 years, I am begining finally to choose to be gentle with myself! 💞 Ordered the book last week! 😁

  • @susanhuff5015
    @susanhuff5015 5 років тому +9

    I still want to cry and sob so much that I constantly reread this stuff over and over hoping I’m gonna realize I’m wrong and my mom isn’t the person that I’m sure she really is. I’m so sick of feeling like everything Is my fault! I’m just ready to accept and move on with my life I’ve been stolen from for far too long

  • @n0426
    @n0426 Рік тому

    As a healthy self love abundant i have recently encountered a very weird situation with someone who I know is probably not in the best time in their life. It felt like they actually wanted me to be toxic. And i noticed the nervousness and surprise to how calm and collected i was in my own skin. It’s really very true. As a healed person I don’t want to be dragged down by people who refuse to get better. But i will fully accept them in my life and encourage them.

  • @Mark-xh6qc
    @Mark-xh6qc 5 років тому +5

    I can't remember the last time I was this excited about such an amazing discovery. Truly a name changing moment in trauma resolution. Congratulations Dr Rosenberg.

  • @josephinesipple6956
    @josephinesipple6956 5 років тому +12

    I’ve been following you for over 2 years.
    This is so exciting. Within my reach! I’ll look for the HITCH method video.
    Go Ross! Have fun playing pool!

  • @baljinderbhopal9035
    @baljinderbhopal9035 5 років тому +12

    Rather than the human condition(which people love to call codependency if they do not want hear me) its human conditioning. Your work is courageous as the human condition is to let parents off the hook. I find this is the core shame that still remains for me...that no one is listening to me as I share who I am so Ross thank you so much for your work.

    • @liinaennusaar6685
      @liinaennusaar6685 3 роки тому

      A question. Have you ever thought that blaming the parents all the time is giving your power away?

    • @intuition11
      @intuition11 3 роки тому +3

      @@liinaennusaar6685 who else is to blame? The CHILD?? The parents are to blame. It’s up to us to learn how to make boundaries from narcs & learn self care.

    • @liinaennusaar6685
      @liinaennusaar6685 3 роки тому

      @@intuition11 blame does not really help

    • @liinaennusaar6685
      @liinaennusaar6685 3 роки тому

      @@intuition11 maybe to an extent with the blame to understand the human nature and not be naive to it. But focusing only on the blame just keeps you stuck in low vibration and keeps you from opening up, and seeing things from a new perspective.

  • @007Tinkins
    @007Tinkins 4 роки тому +2

    Thanks for doing what you do. I’ve been listening to Alain de Botton videos called School of Life and he addresses the need to go back to the original trauma and heal it in “real time” by expressing the emotions you had at the time. I’ve always heard the saying, “You can’t heal what you can’t feel.” Now I know what that means. Thanks Ross.

  • @susanhuff5015
    @susanhuff5015 5 років тому +6

    This is really awesome and I am a trauma survivor and I had all my hurt feelings, anger and anxiety about what happened shoved down so deep I felt like what happened to me and my mom blames my dad saying he was narcissistic. I’m like no I don’t believe it I remembered love and affection from him and I was cloudy and blocked about my mom. I moved in with her at 45 and I started to feel a very familiar feeling of terror and confusion! I thought this feels like I have felt it before and I didn’t know what was going on and I started having bipolar disorder episodes to the point if I was on a ventilator fighting for my life from drug overdose! I’m here to tell you my mom was the voice of my childhood and I couldn’t believe it I wanna die and take everything she said I was rather than believe she’s the problem! I became the biggest people pleaser and codependent person not knowing how I got that way! I’m still healing and have not remembered yet actually what exactly happened except for bits and pieces!! I need to know and be the person I know I was supposed to be

  • @simev500
    @simev500 3 роки тому +1

    As a self protective adaptation, that I eventually learned was actually MAL-adaptive, I used to rationalize those hurtful maternal remarks and put-downs as typical of childhood. The first time I was bullied in grade school I was more scared of explaining it to mother than being around the bully the next day. I developed OCD afterwards. In HS I was a high-functioning depressive and grudgingly put on my student face to NOT disappoint mother. But going through college, the internal conflicts became overwhelming. Uncountable many trials and tribulations 50 yrs later, fortunately none fatal, I finally peeled the last layer of the onion core that held so speciously that ANCIENT hurt . Never before felt soooo liberating. No more anxieties, no more OCD rituals to squander my time. The vulnerable young ones out there need all the help they can get.

  • @MsGroovalicious
    @MsGroovalicious 4 роки тому +10

    I'm going to purchase it as soon as I can. May I ask if there are those who feel like it is impossible to love themselves? I feel like quasimoto and that I'm hideous beyond belief which is why I'm still single. Now I know that I'm an SLD. I pray that this groundbreaking work is available to me. I want to experience love for myself and other humans. I have only been able to love and connect with animals. Bless you, Ross.

    • @michelebell5355
      @michelebell5355 3 роки тому +1

      MsGroovalicious you are beautiful. I struggle with self love. I am just now putting the pieces together myself. Animals are so much easier to connect with. They don't mind if your sad or hurt they still love you and don't tell you to cheer up. Hugs!

  • @odette8905
    @odette8905 5 років тому +7

    Ross, thank you for this insightful work. Please train all those therapists out there who keep sending us innocent lambs back to the narcissistic slaughter (in marriage or couples counselling - this will never work with a narcissist). This offers groundbreaking specific models for narcissistic abuse scenarios. Great work! And congratulations on your own amazing journey. 🙏

  • @soheilay6778
    @soheilay6778 5 років тому +15

    I remember telling my therapist that i cry alot and feel so lonely. She said :exercise. I was like “oh ok thank you.”

    • @daniellelmftcatp3890
      @daniellelmftcatp3890 5 років тому +8

      soheila y , im sorry that you had this experience with your therapist. As someone in that profession this makes me very sad to know the insensitivity and lack of knowledge some therapists have. I really hope that you have the ability to look for another therapist. What people don’t tell you is that psychotherapy is 95% connection and 5% education (hopefully). Meaning, without a good connection with your therapist, all the sessions in the world will not help you. Also, please don’t mistake good connection with not challenging you. Someone that agrees With 100% of what you say is not ideal either. However, again without the connection, no work can be done. Virtual hugs 🤗

  • @justthefactsmedia3168
    @justthefactsmedia3168 4 роки тому +2

    Thank you for talking about this. I had an untrained therapist who found my trauma spot and sent me into PSTD... I was in it for about 3 weeks. It was very scary.

  • @SoulSeeker2025
    @SoulSeeker2025 2 місяці тому

    Three therapists, a BA in Psychology and I finally understand thanks to Ross. Therapists don't know how to assess.

  • @browneyedgirl5030
    @browneyedgirl5030 5 років тому +1

    you are helping me to understand , I am so grateful for your work and empathy

  • @judithprins7132
    @judithprins7132 3 роки тому +1

    becoming invisible and taking care of someone...Oh boy!...that hits hard...we become so resourceful at survival in this toxic relationship..

  • @cynthiasarah4286
    @cynthiasarah4286 5 років тому +15

    Exactly, that is right, i only married evil narcissist, just last year, my therapist, said it was my parents that created it.. he said exactly what you said. Non Narcs are so unfamilar, they scare me..

  • @Deity_DeVine
    @Deity_DeVine 4 роки тому

    Wow! You are a brilliant expert, you are a big part of my healing process, I'm happy I came ACROSS your VIDEOS a month ago, Thank you ENDLESSLY.😊🤗

  • @LGAdkins
    @LGAdkins 4 роки тому +2

    Wow! This is so incredibly hopeful! Thank-you RR!🙏🏼

  • @lynnmarieanderson1744
    @lynnmarieanderson1744 5 років тому +15

    Please forgive me, I only could watch this halfway through. I don't feel like I can heal from anything. At present I'm embarrassed to say I'm 49 years old and I'm living in my parents basement and I can not seem to handle or stick with any job!!! I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder and lately I just want to sleep all the time to avoid reality. I don't know how to help myself anymore, I always feel like I want to escape and there is no escape. My dad is a narcissist and I can't seem to get away from needing his help. I don't even have a car anymore. I'm also bitter because I was in a relationship with someone else who has mental health issues for 20 years, I found out the hard way that it's just not going to work. I just feel so stuck and lost. I know I need to move forward somehow, but I don't know how.

    • @florencefallon5990
      @florencefallon5990 3 роки тому

      Find a good EMDR Therapist.

    • @romanastrasheim5226
      @romanastrasheim5226 3 роки тому

      I am sending love and hugs ...

    • @olenjka55
      @olenjka55 3 роки тому +2

      Hi Lynn... Can you read the Bible? New testament... Start with John.
      Jesus loves you.
      Pray to him.

    • @SoulSeeker2025
      @SoulSeeker2025 2 місяці тому

      Read Margaret Paul

  • @cns7404
    @cns7404 4 роки тому +4

    Hi Ross. I’ve been looking at your videos throughout the past four years and I’m a licensed professional counselor in the state of Georgia. I find your video and the human magnet syndrome to be helpful!!! My supervisor things I should do emdr training because she believes it’s the only method to heal trauma. However when I work with clients that deal with trauma....however I prefer your methods and plan to do your seminar videos. I’m teaching a 12 week co dependency group and I have not taught that group in three years. However, I’m looking forward to using the human magnet syndrome and o still use co dependency no more as another self help book. 🙂

    • @RossRosenberg
      @RossRosenberg  4 роки тому +1

      Thank you for your message and support. Please consider reviewing other resources www.selfloverecovery.com/

    • @cns7404
      @cns7404 4 роки тому

      Ross Rosenberg Thank you Ross!!! I definitely will. 😁 I see that you have some extra resources that will be helpful for me and the clients I see individually. I always recommend your book. I need to get the updated version though 😆

  • @briankelley7918
    @briankelley7918 4 роки тому +7

    I'm 52 years old I came across a paper from a hospital when I was 13 and I told them that I was a failure. I was only 13 years old what can I know about life
    Thank you Mom 🤬

  • @Claire-pt6zn
    @Claire-pt6zn 5 років тому +2

    Thank you so much Ross, for what you do👍⭐

  • @izawaniek2568
    @izawaniek2568 Рік тому

    Thank you for your insights, experiences and great advice.😊 God bless you❤

  • @liinaennusaar6685
    @liinaennusaar6685 3 роки тому +1

    Another one. My last relationship with an abusive narcissist was quite bad I would say. I was totally concious of how wrong it was and I was observing the whole relationship. Yet, even though I knew things were off, it was quite hard to leave and finish the relationship. So what was missing I guess was the power.
    Have you ever thought that blaming the parents all the time or the upbringing is giving the power away?
    The whole talk is soothing. And it is really good to know that somebody understands us and is there to listen even. And that we are not going mad and we have not been gaslighted into thinking that we are bad and doing something wrong. But...
    The power?
    I once saw an interview with Ted Bundy where he said that he does not blame his parents, and for God sake, all decisions he made, he made by himself and holds himself fully accountable for this. For him it was even disgusting to see himself as a victim who had made other people to be. It was shameful. For him it was a disgrace to be seen as a victim by others, even though the interviewer tried to push this emotion out from him and put him the position to be seen or felt as a victim. But he clearly tried to make that clear that he is not a victim of his parents or anyone else.

  • @maryanncoan4134
    @maryanncoan4134 5 років тому +7

    boston here and yes every man for themself.

  • @syburd
    @syburd 4 роки тому +1

    Brilliant, Ross. . .

  • @nikkibaxter5550
    @nikkibaxter5550 3 роки тому +3

    Have you found a link between "supernatural" experiences and trauma?
    Have any of the people you have helped who has gone through a lifetime of childhood trauma who have also had years of unexplained experiences beginning in the childhood?
    You in my opinion are spot on in your thinking, I have done years of inner work to heal my child self who was tormented and used as a bin for all my mother's unresolved pain, I couldn't talk at first, any time I tried to express his I felt, I would get two or three words out then start blarting, I couldn't form a sentence, I had people.around me telling me to stop crying, "just get over it" " the past is the past"
    I couldn't I did not want to live the way I was I hated myself, and I knew inside I needed to do something, I did not know how, but because I chose to change, something happened within me.
    I began to ask myself questions, why do I hate myself?, why don't I like my hands, my legs, my skin color, my hair etc.
    Why am I scared, what am I scared of? "I am scared of myself?" Why am I scared of myself?
    I would write down what I could remember, and as I wrote I revealed more things about myself I didn't know.
    Heard went by and I had changed, without knowing I had changed, once I got to the root of an emotion , feeling, like my hands, once I realized what had happened to make me dislike my hands, I found I don't dislike my hands anymore.
    Each time I dug I would find something else, I would express it in written words, or tears, or express the feelings through art, and I found I had talents, I began to write down my thoughts and they would come out like.poems, and my creativity was now.flowing, I had more light within me, more peace.
    I'm 54, and still.stuck in certain areas, if I did not have those creative gifts, I don't know where I would be now, it has been a life line for me.
    And dreams, I have had dreams all my life, not so much now however?
    Whether that's because my mind is more peaceful having dealt with a lot of the traumatic events that happened that I could remember.
    But my childhood was inundated with nightmares,.spiritual.attacks, from something in the house I grew up in.
    Vampire dreams, we're dominating my dreams, my mother had been turned into a vampire, my little child.self new the mother I had was not human, but a energy sucking empty hole, sucking all my light.
    I had dreams like.films, dreams that came true, dreams that told me I was spiritually growing, dreams in which I travelled back in time, and was with the small girl in one of those vampire nightmares, I held her hand whilst she ran down the long hallway, into a what was the bathroom, which a man had opened the door and when we went I to the room there was a door on the floor which he opened and we went into the room under the floor.
    I wondered about it hat dream, was that where she was hiding? Why did I not take her out of the hoise, why did I go down with her?
    Was she showing me where she was?
    My mother or the "host" within her tried to kill me when I was ten, by covering my mouth and nose so I couldn't breathe after she had assaulted me, and I was trying to hold in my tears, my sister a year older than me saved my life that day, she was.11.
    Why can I remember that, which I would say would have been the most traumatic?
    Yet there is so much of my childhood I cannot remember?
    My dad was classed as paraniod schizophrenic, who I truly believe was possessed, I am not from a religious background, far from it, yet I would have an occurring dream that I was reciting the Lords Prayer, went a black mass invaded he round room with books all around me, I was so scared I couldn't say the prayer, which he words would not come out of my mouth, and the mass would get closer and closer till I woke up.
    My dad molested me as a small child, he would smash the door.down and act really strange, he would talk about himself, like say his own name then say "....wouldn't do that"?
    There was no Light in his eyes when he was ill, and he would growl like a beast, and had lots of strengh.
    He was traumatised d by his.father who was a narcissistic, then he met my mom, who was also a narcissist.
    He told me once that he went to Jersey a place by England, when he was 19 and was "visited" in the night by some spirit that he could.see, that the Spirit knew things about him and his family, and at first the Spirit man was nice, but then he kept coming night after night, and would not let him sleep.
    I do know.there is something spiritual behind what is happening to mankind, and that we desperately need to deal with the unresolved pain within, because that's where the Light is, our strengh, the truth.
    You say we cannot do this on our own, I do agree to a certain extent, but I have found that we are not alone, we have help in dealing with the pain we have held in, the Light of the Spirit within us, so he Creators Living Spirit the inner knowing, the silent voice of wisdom.
    We are a.work in.progress, sometimes our progress is slow, and we think nothing is changing, we get inpatient, and then we learn we need to be more patient with ourselves and others. 😊
    So we every stop.growing within?
    I see the soul as a.mirror made.of water, all the stones that was constantly thrown into the water distorted and created waves and storms.
    A physical material mirror of it had the same treatment, being hit over and over again would smash I to ring fragments, some of those shares are sharp and some segments get lost, you can stick the peices.back together but the image you would see in the reflection would still be distorted.
    Yet with our soul mirrow made of water, it is able to restore, the stormy waves and distortion, it is possible for that water to be clam and still so we can see clearly, and not through a distorts d murky lense.
    I like your videos, thank you for taking time to share what you have learnt and experienced whilst helping people.
    I also.like playing pool, I could play all.day and he happy as larry. Lol 😊

  • @1love754
    @1love754 5 років тому +2

    Dear Ross, you speak for all of us, I really appreciate you! ¿Can I ask a question, could the self love deficit be like, from other beautiful people like you I’ve heard the term counter dependency. Me 49 50 in a few months! Thank you everyone! I finally see it can get better and none of it was ever a lack in me to begin with. Best wishes to us all!!!

  • @zenasfk8148
    @zenasfk8148 4 роки тому

    Awe, this is beautiful. I found something that pulls it all out, and processes it on its own. My mom, myself and one other have done it now - its worked for all three of the "trials"
    I know it sounds too good to be true. My repressed memories came flooding out - my entire life changed and is almost healed in just a few months. Im just a marketing girl with some childhood stories - Im no psychotherapist but I assure you...
    Id love to talk to you...

    • @INONKITCHEN
      @INONKITCHEN 4 роки тому

      Is this something that would be available to anyone? Xx

  • @raciedudeify
    @raciedudeify 5 років тому +1

    60 and still suffering, but I keep trying!
    Thanks Ross! Woop!

  • @SheCanSmile
    @SheCanSmile 5 років тому +14

    It is really not fair that people treat each other like this.

    • @florencefallon5990
      @florencefallon5990 3 роки тому

      One thing I've definitely learned: Life is Not Fair. Another thing to consider is, Hurt people, hurt people. They know no other way to be.

  • @kimberlymccracken747
    @kimberlymccracken747 3 роки тому +1

    Ross, will you be by Mom and Dad? Lol 🤷‍♀️
    I love Bostonians - they may be brash,
    but you know they have your back 👍
    The story about the regression gave me chills.
    I regressed as well and intuitively spoke aloud to myself in adult voices - saying whatever I needed to hear from reassuring, stable parental figures.
    It just happened spontaneously
    over a period of time 🙏

  • @caleuxx9108
    @caleuxx9108 2 роки тому +1

    Idea - when someone has been severly abused, survives till adulthood and then sometime during adulthood begins to have symptoms or even remember the abuse. Going back in time to remember the abuse will probably bring to the surface the emotions that were there back then. Being severly abused means being constantly in stress yet being a child means there is no real escape. So wanting to die might just possibly be the signal of how bad things were or are, isnt that just another really strong emotional flashback...???

  • @marialeina5866
    @marialeina5866 5 років тому +2

    Thank you Ross, this is very helpful!

  • @rositsazlatanova1146
    @rositsazlatanova1146 3 роки тому +1

    Thank you for your support!

  • @browneyedgirl5030
    @browneyedgirl5030 5 років тому +1

    I am going to find a way to purchase your videos, they are worth every bit of money, you are amazing, thank you for being you

    • @RossRosenberg
      @RossRosenberg  4 роки тому

      Please write to us to help@selfloverecovery.com and refer to this comment/reply

  • @teriknauer-schafer
    @teriknauer-schafer 5 років тому +1

    I was going to celebrate recovery Friday night at lifesong Methodist church in Reed's Spring Missouri USA but I was fortunate enough to move in a beautiful new place. So I'm missing the fun loving people open group dinners and religious gatherings

  • @allwellandgood8547
    @allwellandgood8547 4 роки тому +1

    Ross I have just finished HMS after watching many of your videos over the last year. It has helped me so so much, I am truely thankful. But I am left with a question I can't figure out. Is it possible to have SLD without experiencing a narcissist parent in childhood? Could it soley be derived from an attachment trauma (my mum left us (for a pathalogical narcissist) when I was 8. I then became the 'Quicker Picker Upper' hiding my own feelings of missing a mum figure and confusion to help my dads depression whilst being mum to my two younger sisters x

  • @elizekruger8639
    @elizekruger8639 5 років тому +2

    This is wonderful information.

  • @freespirit5234
    @freespirit5234 3 роки тому

    Wow you possessed exceptional abilities so early in your career, you need to come to Australia!!!

    • @freespirit5234
      @freespirit5234 3 роки тому

      For the Aboriginal population, very intense pain

  • @elizekruger8639
    @elizekruger8639 5 років тому +2

    Ross you rock !!!!

  • @carrynunya8745
    @carrynunya8745 5 років тому +6

    What if you don't have just one trauma, but many, many, many traumas, and not only from childhood?
    And all the therapists I have met, suck, Didn't do any good, except for getting me broke. And now I am too broke to go to therapy.
    Btw, I don't like the idea of forgiving. It is a relief to know the guilt is on the shoulders of those responsible. Because according to narcs, you are always responsible for what they do to you. Forgiving is a no-no for me. Not that they will ever understand what they did. Because they are perfect.

    • @yehudismalkamunnell5177
      @yehudismalkamunnell5177 4 роки тому

      I'm so happy you feel how I feel. I don't want to forgive mentally broken toxic people

  • @dish8796
    @dish8796 5 років тому +2

    Thank you Ross❤🙏✌

  • @cynthiasarah4286
    @cynthiasarah4286 5 років тому +6

    Excatly.. I can't unlock mine., but I know they are horrid.. they come out in tiny pieces in dreams.. I only remember my nightnarmares from my childhood, the actual dreams from 3 on...

  • @shirleymoore5201
    @shirleymoore5201 3 роки тому +3

    This is so helpfull ..I've been talking out loud my childhood ..to a loving father..I'm still angry ..the father is God as it says in bible God is love ..I'm basically squealing on them ..like a child hey God apparently you or love 💘

  • @Dsanchez1979
    @Dsanchez1979 3 роки тому

    Good stuff. Thanks ross, got a lot out of your book and videos.
    Btw , I notice you say here that you are still healing your own codependancy/attachment trauma?
    I understand it depends on each person and in some cases it may take a while to heal , probably depending on the severity of the issues or how you reacted to it as a child and the impact it had, and also on the work you are doing and choices you are making to improve(like being more authentic and setting boundries when you should, and being more loving to yourself etc.
    But my question was also , how long do you think it takes people in your experience to fully heal from it? is it something you do fully heal from?

    • @RossRosenberg
      @RossRosenberg  3 роки тому

      Thanks for the support! According to Ross, people can heal from SLDD. The time varies and it can be up to two years with therapy. For more information, please visit his website: www.selfloverecovery.com/.

  • @liinaennusaar6685
    @liinaennusaar6685 3 роки тому +1

    Bonding over familiar trauma, high five anyone

  • @tamartabatadze9305
    @tamartabatadze9305 5 років тому +4

    I have not heard about such things before, i was always taken advantage by narcissiats be and blamed my trusting nature, i know now that the man i loved is classical type of vulnerable narcissist, and still cannot be real tough with him

    • @tamartabatadze9305
      @tamartabatadze9305 5 років тому +2

      In america i met a man who just waa threatening, still is, immigrants are in much more danger if chased by them. One woman survived after her american hisband insured her and tried to kill her. She told me about it in subway as if knew my history and i remembered how my husband was laughing like crazy once, saying, how good, i will marrry you then insure you and kill you. He didnt kill but did all impossible things

  • @sage9836
    @sage9836 5 років тому +1

    I missed the live discussion. Durn!

  • @makaylahollywood3677
    @makaylahollywood3677 3 роки тому +1

    I have been doing my healing trauma work; and, my councelor says I know more than she does, lol. I just tell her about these videos.

  • @carolehatfield8561
    @carolehatfield8561 3 роки тому

    I cannot understand why councillors working in mental health do not have any idea how to work through childhood trauma with their clients.There is hope😊🙏

  • @godisgood5302
    @godisgood5302 4 роки тому +2

    Yes

  • @jennawait2834
    @jennawait2834 5 років тому +1

    Hi Ross, I’ve been working through healing my inner child wounds based on a book by John Bradshaw called “Homecoming”. What is your take on this approach ?

  • @caleuxx9108
    @caleuxx9108 2 роки тому

    How to help people who were traumatized/abused as little children, yet have dissociative symptoms? schizofrenia? My mother has schizofrenia since about the age of 33. Now she is 68. It seems that I am the only person that she has ever trusted in her entire life to tell her most painful moments to. Yesterday she told me how abusive her paternal grandparents were toward her - even at a few years old she was not allowed to cry, some days she was so scared she spent much of the day silent hiding under the bed, on one occasion she fled the house to the ajoining woods to get away. She tells the stories with alot of fictional factors (eg. the wolfes and bears took care of her in the forest) - its obviously dissociate fantasy. When I ask, she says she has never told anyone. It seems I am the only one she trusts, and she is in so much pain, it causes me pain. How Can I help her?

  • @jemgem9593
    @jemgem9593 4 роки тому +1

    Brilliant thanks xxxx

  • @mosebjadi4036
    @mosebjadi4036 3 роки тому

    Thank you so much for your videos. They're really insightful. Just a question: are you attracting better romantic partners now? Also, can two SLDs have a healthy relationship?

  • @liinaennusaar6685
    @liinaennusaar6685 3 роки тому

    Coming out from couple of narcissistic relationships and thinking back to them now... I can see or say that in the past, the things that did probably hurt did not seem wrong, but maybe that something could improved or worked out. Now as I see it, sometimes it is still confusing, where is the line between compromise, but things that hurt or complete abuse, is absolutely unacceptable to me.

  • @lindamckeown3198
    @lindamckeown3198 Рік тому

    It's like realising all the men you have dated have been tied to their mother's aprons and then it clicks that maybe your dad was that too..the cycle repeating itself. I have stayed single for decades bc I recognised it. The loneliness kills. "We're not broken just bent"..my antenna was desperately bent

  • @toniraeatchley525
    @toniraeatchley525 4 роки тому

    I would be interested when and where I live in the Northwest.

  • @raymondearnestlong8822
    @raymondearnestlong8822 3 роки тому +1

    Thankyou ❤

  • @momione11
    @momione11 5 років тому +1

    I hear you.👍

  • @beachbunny7256
    @beachbunny7256 5 років тому

    Ross, I definitely need your help!! I'm 56 and have seen many different therapists but still stuck in the original trama!! Would you do sessions by video?

    • @RossRosenberg
      @RossRosenberg  5 років тому +1

      Contact us help@selfloverecovery.com. We have a few openings.

    • @beachbunny7256
      @beachbunny7256 5 років тому

      Ok thank you so much!!👍

  • @lastevns
    @lastevns 5 років тому

    Going over to look at the video after this. But, do you take insurance? Do you offer online therapy?

  • @hanoune5153
    @hanoune5153 2 роки тому

    Isn’t what Freud suggested back in the 60’s with the trauma theory? How is the HITCH Method different?

  • @Robynndee503
    @Robynndee503 4 роки тому

    Totally random and off topic but what is that flying by in the very beginning @ 00:00:45 seconds? I've replayed it many times and I cant help but feel as if maybe it was a spirit?

  • @marrylee6746
    @marrylee6746 5 років тому +1

    I was doing good so far, for the post two days. I don't know why , I really want to call him. I don't know what to do.

  • @jowyschwarz313
    @jowyschwarz313 3 роки тому +1

    I want to buy your book

    • @RossRosenberg
      @RossRosenberg  3 роки тому

      Thanks for your interest! You can find Ross's book in different versions here: www.selfloverecovery.com/collections/human-magnet-syndrome-books

  • @erinbyrd5377
    @erinbyrd5377 2 роки тому

    Can I talk to you?

  • @basiljarrett1464
    @basiljarrett1464 Рік тому

    I need to find a different way of buying your books.

  • @sumbae7668
    @sumbae7668 5 років тому

    Do you know EMDR? My therapist suggested it and said with this method she can resolve trauma-memories without the patient being triggered. Does this really work?

    • @RossRosenberg
      @RossRosenberg  5 років тому

      I don't do EMDR, and it does help resolve trauma

    • @sumbae7668
      @sumbae7668 5 років тому

      @@RossRosenberg Thank you so much for answering

  • @markellcrawford6969
    @markellcrawford6969 2 роки тому

    Do you do online therapy

    • @RossRosenberg
      @RossRosenberg  2 роки тому

      Yes I do. Send us an email at help@selfloverecovery.com

  • @trebor66n2
    @trebor66n2 5 років тому

    I can hear ya

  • @NarcissisticAbuseRehab
    @NarcissisticAbuseRehab 5 років тому +1

    I'm very intrigued by your HITCH method. I'm sure this is true for many SLDs: re-connecting with my inner child was one of the most extraordinary experiences of my adult life. It was also one of the most frightening because there was so much untapped power hidden within: joy, love, compassion. It makes me wonder about the possibilities with your program.

    • @RossRosenberg
      @RossRosenberg  5 років тому

      Think about buying the video www.selfloverecovery.com/products/healing-the-inner-trauma-child

  • @liinaennusaar6685
    @liinaennusaar6685 3 роки тому

    So anyone else out here got an opinion on why empaths do not want face their own sh*t but dig in other stuff most of the times? Cause I'm actually starting to see my own narcissistic side and not so nice sides.

  • @sumayakenan6955
    @sumayakenan6955 5 років тому +1

    Spouse is narc , what can I do so my kids are not traumatized by him.

    • @susangrande8142
      @susangrande8142 5 років тому

      Sumaya Kenan get your children away from him if you can, and either way, talk to them about your husband’s mental state in language and at the level they can understand. Educate them in how to keep themselves safe around him, and what NOT to say to him. And, get yourself away from him if you can. They need you to be safe and unaffected by him as much as possible, too.

    • @reikitree7498
      @reikitree7498 5 років тому

      You can only protect them if you remove them from the influence of the Narcisisst. The grooming starts young tho and it will be hard to do it now unless you can prove Emotional and physical violence. Narcisissts are Master manipulators and can cin every Dr and project their actions onto you and have the Drs believe you are the abuser and they will beleive them. Family courts 99% align and side with the Narcisisst. Be prepared for Soul Murder and utter devastation of your life. Your abuser will have already layed the groundwork with your family that you've been abusing them. He/She will have used abuse examples of which hes inflicted on you as their abuse story. They isolate, exclude and posture you as the abuser to everyone and anyone who will listen behind your back. It's all part of the smear campaign that they've collected and created evidence and testimony from the moment they attach to you.

  • @urbansetter1
    @urbansetter1 4 роки тому

    What is an SLD

    • @RossRosenberg
      @RossRosenberg  4 роки тому

      Self-Love Deficit or Self-Love Deficient (Codependency or Codependent).

  • @raymondearnestlong8822
    @raymondearnestlong8822 3 роки тому

    That fluff in the background at the beginning 🧐🤯

  • @CyberCheese392
    @CyberCheese392 5 років тому +1

    I didnt watch the video yet but it looks like Ross is taking fashion advice from Sam Valkin! :)

    • @RossRosenberg
      @RossRosenberg  5 років тому +1

      Really? That's funny. Never thought someone would compare me to SV?

  • @candaceyoung1759
    @candaceyoung1759 3 роки тому

    I don't remember most of my childhood.

    • @RossRosenberg
      @RossRosenberg  3 роки тому

      In case you haven't watched it yet, this other video may be helpful: ua-cam.com/video/3DHi3v3a8sw/v-deo.html

  • @delphinium5555
    @delphinium5555 3 роки тому

    I know how to heal you all but you just need to buy my book, buy my video..

  • @raymondearnestlong8822
    @raymondearnestlong8822 3 роки тому

    🎱🎱📯📯🎉

  • @kathymccurley3610
    @kathymccurley3610 Рік тому

    Yes