OMG - as an Aussie, that was a blinder of a joke - and thanks for highlighting the plight of the Koalas in a brilliant way (although habitat destruction is much worse). That joke just built and built, really darkly funny, but still managed to have a message for our furry friends. I hope you had fun down under, and I'm looking forward to your next tour here. HOTA (Home of the Arts) on the Gold Coast is not a massive venue, but it is on the Gold Coast which is an amazing place to visit from beach to hinterland.
Everybody keeps saying oh that didn’t happen I didn’t even know so many people were there during that conversation while he was walking past his house.😂
Completely do not believe your Ted Cruz story whatsoever he is one smart dude and he lives in Texas so I don’t know what you’re talking about, bro even though you are somewhat funny that’s right somewhat funny. I said it there you go.
That's what he wanted you to believe. He's a liberal. I sould bet my 401k that this convo, about the mothers and daughters, never happened. Come on, dude.
@@michaelkreisel3573 yeah in Texas. Us in Florida (who has had the most mass shootings) think he's pathetic and insulting... He cares about 1 thing and 1 thing only.. making sure those NRA checks keep coming
@@michaelkreisel3573An estimated 54% of adults cannot read above a 6th grade level. So I can totally believe that Cruz would secure almost 6 million votes in that dogsht state. Plus it's well known that no one likes Cruz. Even fellow republicans find him to be insufferable.
Yeah… it’s hard to believe Tom segura makes so much money that he lives in the same neighborhood as a former US president lol. George HW Bush lives on a ranch where you can’t even get within a mile of it without getting stopped by the police lol
I call BS. if this were true, it would have been everywhere in the media. The only way to keep something like this quiet would be if Cruz were a Democrat.
So i guess i only kinda have a problem with making up stories about real people that we can just ask like ted cruze but you cant say something like i didn't make this up when you made it all up
This is the funniest I have ever seen a Japanese guy be.
I’m in Tears 😭 Tom is hilarious
The funniest comedian, love this guy!
I have not burst my drink through my nose for decades, thanks dude!?
😏
OMG - as an Aussie, that was a blinder of a joke - and thanks for highlighting the plight of the Koalas in a brilliant way (although habitat destruction is much worse). That joke just built and built, really darkly funny, but still managed to have a message for our furry friends. I hope you had fun down under, and I'm looking forward to your next tour here. HOTA (Home of the Arts) on the Gold Coast is not a massive venue, but it is on the Gold Coast which is an amazing place to visit from beach to hinterland.
Everybody keeps saying oh that didn’t happen I didn’t even know so many people were there during that conversation while he was walking past his house.😂
Perfect! Thank you.
That dude with the delayed laugh is having a great time! XD
Dude, right?!?! 🤣😂🤣😂
@@zstarzzz7
2:53
Omg he's fuckin hilarious
Tom’s good at subtle wealth brags.
Best 😅😅😅
Honestly, one more reason to vote for Ted.
All these jokes are on the Netflix special don't waste your time
Thank you
These are solid. Always worth your time :)
It’s never a waste of time when Tom is telling jokes, even if you have heard them before.
Actually I just started watching and this first part was cut but is played everywhere
Why are you so bent up?
" i like yellow '😂
im on my dads computer, influencing his algorithm...
Nice bait title. It’s lame when people lie in the titles of the videos.
Completely do not believe your Ted Cruz story whatsoever he is one smart dude and he lives in Texas so I don’t know what you’re talking about, bro even though you are somewhat funny that’s right somewhat funny. I said it there you go.
I missed the joke but I’ve always been the type of gentleman to listen to others.
Sloppy joe or cherry bomb 😂
Ted cruz.
Where are the bodies Tim?
10:52
Deep down, somehow, l knew it was Ted Cruz. 😑
That's what he wanted you to believe. He's a liberal. I sould bet my 401k that this convo, about the mothers and daughters, never happened. Come on, dude.
@@jondy73bros out here hard pressed that someone made a joke about Ted Cruz 😂
Ted Cruz doesn’t live in Austin
Funny compilation but WHY LIE ON THE TITLE??? These are all IN his Netflix special....
tom is the type of guy to tell you hes just an everyman and hes humble.
in reality he hates anyone that isnt as rich as him. yes that includes you.
He has never been the same since they got that McDonalds money. He lost his mind.
What do comedians have against Ted Cruz? Bill burr tells a similar stupid story, so it must be true 🥴
Ted Cruz sucks, that's what comedians have against him. Same feeling a bunch of non comedian people have about him...
@@papercut.. 5,973,431 votes 🤣
@@michaelkreisel3573 yeah in Texas. Us in Florida (who has had the most mass shootings) think he's pathetic and insulting... He cares about 1 thing and 1 thing only.. making sure those NRA checks keep coming
@@papercut.. guns don't kill people people kill people. How many baby murders did the United States have last year?
@@michaelkreisel3573An estimated 54% of adults cannot read above a 6th grade level. So I can totally believe that Cruz would secure almost 6 million votes in that dogsht state. Plus it's well known that no one likes Cruz. Even fellow republicans find him to be insufferable.
I've seen/heard these jokes before, they must've censored the original show 🤔
Hold up. Stores offer drinks???
Not Walmart or Hime Depot amigo.
I think yall are missing the fucking point but lets not ruin it.
That first story definitely didnt happen
Yeah… it’s hard to believe Tom segura makes so much money that he lives in the same neighborhood as a former US president lol. George HW Bush lives on a ranch where you can’t even get within a mile of it without getting stopped by the police lol
Ya I don't think Ted can think that fast
Ted Cruz oughta rly stop smh
I call BS. if this were true, it would have been everywhere in the media. The only way to keep something like this quiet would be if Cruz were a Democrat.
It's comedy dude relax
Dang you mean to tell me that you're so republican that you do not know how Jokes work?
Womp Womp
@attillathehunny2073 yeah, that story is total bullshit, Ted lives rent free in Tom's head
Hush now, your daddy's here
Probably the worse dressed person on his street.
You lost it
May Lyin Ted receive the stupidity he puts out back upon him tenfold.
⁶ÿ6⁶6
Things that never happened.
It's comedy bro 🤣
How do you know? Has Tom told you that personally? You clearly just don't like him, so don't watch his comedy.
Segura's a dirt bag
Literally what comedy is
So i guess i only kinda have a problem with making up stories about real people that we can just ask like ted cruze but you cant say something like i didn't make this up when you made it all up
You seem to be attempting to write in english but...not quite. Stay in school.
People like you are why aliens won't talk to us
They should have cut the whole special. He's not funny.
Lmao
Clearly in the minority
You are a psychopath if you don't think Tom's funny......js
He sounds like Nate Bargatze
He does?
no he doesnt
Nate sounds like him?
Don't rip on Nate like that
They have a different delivery but both equally as good. Both been doing this forever too.