Tom Segura Answers the Internet's Weirdest Questions

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 28 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,4 тис.

  • @AFishBicycle
    @AFishBicycle 5 років тому +2309

    “One quarter?! That’s your wildest wish?”
    “Ok 6 quarters.”

  • @ElGrilledCheezus
    @ElGrilledCheezus 3 роки тому +1617

    "hey buddy"
    "Who are you talking to"
    Super underrated joke

    • @seanmatthewking
      @seanmatthewking 3 роки тому +2

      🙄

    • @anthonyzullo
      @anthonyzullo 3 роки тому +51

      I laughed so hard because its straight up off the cuff. "Who ya talking to?"
      Knowing how his dad says "hey buddy" makes it even more hilarious

    • @stevecabapolous1172
      @stevecabapolous1172 3 роки тому +10

      I’m on my patio and my cackle echoed through my apartments so bad that three of my neighbors came outside☠️

    • @thefacelessquestion3333
      @thefacelessquestion3333 3 роки тому

      Damn!!!!
      Really underrated

    • @t474k
      @t474k 3 роки тому +3

      I dont get it someone explain please 😅

  • @bryanpiedra4490
    @bryanpiedra4490 5 років тому +6520

    Homeless people are always the funniest 😂

    • @mariblesurfaces9635
      @mariblesurfaces9635 5 років тому +38

      Bryan Piedra that’s how mommy Tina likes it.

    • @cjoy36
      @cjoy36 5 років тому +26

      #4strokegang

    • @vergance_softwares
      @vergance_softwares 5 років тому +9

      He’s not homeless though, how bold of you to ASSUME.

    • @makrossta4740
      @makrossta4740 5 років тому +13

      True kind of...hes always going around from motel to motel every gig...so he rarely goes back home

    • @TazTalksYouListen
      @TazTalksYouListen 5 років тому +8

      We know he has a home because he told us that in his new home the sofa is closer to the bathroom than it was in his previous home, and the cataclysmic events that occured on the toilet led to his wife offering to drive him to the hospital. What a great bit.

  • @zacharyp7511
    @zacharyp7511 5 років тому +834

    “Like, how many salads have I had?”
    “How many?”
    “Single digits man” 😂😂😂

  • @TheTylamo
    @TheTylamo 5 років тому +1027

    You guys have pulled some great guests to start this series! Kudos

    • @masonforrest3426
      @masonforrest3426 5 років тому +5

      Must’ve been a hell of a budget, but it WORKS.

    • @mattmorrison1408
      @mattmorrison1408 5 років тому +4

      except for the 2 ugly and unfunny idiots on the last video.. but i guess erika forcing them to bring on women for diversity and they didnt have a choice

    • @fredmanie2926
      @fredmanie2926 5 років тому +1

      Honestly it's like they read my search history when they chose their guests, makes me realize how basic I am lol

    • @tylito4764
      @tylito4764 5 років тому +1

      Fact. They need new questions tho

  • @otsoto8088
    @otsoto8088 5 років тому +639

    Tommy dressed like he breaks into houses and steals underwear as a pasttime

  • @GoWithTh3Flow
    @GoWithTh3Flow 5 років тому +1737

    Cage Match: Tom Segura v Bert Kreischer with Joe Rogan as the referee

    • @Dontbustthecrust
      @Dontbustthecrust 5 років тому +57

      My money is on Bert.

    • @bertfinland6720
      @bertfinland6720 5 років тому +108

      And Callen as the ring card girl

    • @xreallegendx4712
      @xreallegendx4712 5 років тому +20

      Wonder what bert would have learned from being in the mafia lmao

    • @SicFromTheKush
      @SicFromTheKush 5 років тому +40

      Dude, bert doesnt have an ounce of aggression in his soul, but lots of mma fighters seem that way too, and i think berts a couple inches taller, but still tom, hatred will take you far

    • @KoDrHo
      @KoDrHo 5 років тому +19

      Fuck it. Bert's the Machine!!!!

  • @gildardoclemenst5101
    @gildardoclemenst5101 5 років тому +32

    "Hey buddy!"
    "Who are you talking to?"
    😂😂😂

  • @boogiewoogiebearboy
    @boogiewoogiebearboy 5 років тому +292

    Sick Dave Attell cosplay Tom!

  • @Patrick.Weightman
    @Patrick.Weightman 5 років тому +294

    Wow, Jermaine from Subway, here in the flesh!

  • @mohnjayer
    @mohnjayer 5 років тому +322

    Now, this is hardcore fun.

  • @ohky_
    @ohky_ 5 років тому +145

    3.5 gallons of water? the undisputed water champ

  • @liambird2053
    @liambird2053 5 років тому +354

    “How much money would it take for you to not know how to read”
    However much Floyd Mayweather Jr. makes...

    • @jessaw8160
      @jessaw8160 3 роки тому

      More than 100 mil. lol

    • @farischugthai5598
      @farischugthai5598 3 роки тому +3

      Literally my exact thought

    • @tuckerveal7621
      @tuckerveal7621 10 місяців тому

      This was EXACTLY my first thought. “Mayweather seems to be doing just fine” 🤷🏽‍♂️

  • @jordanhollman304
    @jordanhollman304 5 років тому +11

    a half hour version of this is needed

  • @CartyCreative
    @CartyCreative 5 років тому +365

    Nice of Tommy Buns to step away from the halfway house he was at to do this video. I give this 4 strokes out of 4.

  • @charleywaynehinkle6358
    @charleywaynehinkle6358 5 років тому +68

    heck torture device is a customer service robot that always hears the wrong thing and then says lets start over.

    • @MrCole58
      @MrCole58 5 років тому +2

      Calm down Satan lolol

    • @ashchaya7676
      @ashchaya7676 4 роки тому +1

      Lately I think it's customer service robots that force you to hear 4 minutes of recorded crap before even telling you what your options are. Usually it involves around 2 minutes of "here's how much we care about you during COVID19 blablabla..."

  • @bjburk
    @bjburk 5 років тому +1104

    So here I am glassin the interwebs and what do I find? Mama Jean doin a non-pomcast, Well piss on me and beat me, I just came in 4 strokes. Try it out! I didnt even have neuropathy.

    • @curtcage5078
      @curtcage5078 5 років тому +45

      You should've taken 10-12 benadryl

    • @jewfedmuzik
      @jewfedmuzik 5 років тому +9

      My thoughts exactly my dude.. haha. Hell yeah. Theo Von was the best.

    • @jewfedmuzik
      @jewfedmuzik 5 років тому +8

      Did you watch their spin off of Hot Ones with @SeanEvans, WetOnes? Hah.

    • @mohnjayer
      @mohnjayer 5 років тому +16

      I had hardcore fun while watching this. Somebody pass the meth.

    • @strikkmoez
      @strikkmoez 5 років тому +13

      You guys are doin' good. Come over later for moose soup.

  • @davidoconnor1773
    @davidoconnor1773 5 років тому +84

    Tom looks like he's reading for the role of Artie Lange!

    • @jeremyc9593
      @jeremyc9593 5 років тому

      If he would chop off the front half of his nose, the job is his.

    • @anthonyzullo
      @anthonyzullo 3 роки тому +1

      Hes auditioning for the part of Artie Lange impersonating Dave Atell

  • @anilpunj580
    @anilpunj580 5 років тому +68

    Damn yall got The Water Champ.

  • @kacpyw
    @kacpyw 5 років тому +109

    The 51 dislikes are all Garth Brook's UA-cam accounts.

    • @mandreadfg
      @mandreadfg 3 роки тому

      Where are the bodies!?!

  • @bgold9
    @bgold9 5 років тому +82

    THE LIBRARY BLOCKED MY PASSWORD!!!

  • @screenPhiles
    @screenPhiles 3 роки тому +74

    Tom Segura's response to most everything is comedy gold!

  • @cmrnk3554
    @cmrnk3554 5 років тому +232

    The “how much money would it take for you not to know how to read” question was hilarious. Hoe me on out.

    • @funnymanroccoisdead
      @funnymanroccoisdead 5 років тому +20

      Smiles Per Gallon ....”how much money does mayweather have??!” Was the answer

    • @derrickperez5148
      @derrickperez5148 5 років тому

      Matthieu Asselin my first thought ha

    • @JustinL186
      @JustinL186 5 років тому +2

      Home here now!

    • @Big_AlMC
      @Big_AlMC 5 років тому

      100 million. Little shade to Mayweather lol

  • @coreypiatt5446
    @coreypiatt5446 5 років тому +60

    The "who are you talking to?" Line is soooo subtley amazing.
    Cuz a lot of dogs are named buddy.

    • @Immor7alBG
      @Immor7alBG 5 років тому

      The pinnacle of high brow comedy right there

    • @seanmatthewking
      @seanmatthewking 3 роки тому

      ...you can also call anybody and anything “buddy”....

  • @nickpurdy69
    @nickpurdy69 3 роки тому +53

    I love how he answers and then asks them if he got it right lmao

  • @2but800
    @2but800 5 років тому +24

    I see Terry Buns has decided to wear something from the Dave Attell catalog

  • @philkessel86
    @philkessel86 5 років тому +13

    I found this series earlier today and binge watched every episode

  • @Greshah
    @Greshah 5 років тому +18

    Heck: have them wait in line for the actual torture, it's absolutly brilliant.

    • @NoticeForBlue
      @NoticeForBlue 5 років тому

      Then torture turns to munder.

    • @StanleyKubick1
      @StanleyKubick1 3 роки тому

      Yeah that's not a super juvenile and basic thought at all. I literally painted a queue of people at 16 and called the painting Hell

  • @punjab1ify
    @punjab1ify 5 років тому +4

    Lol “hey buddy” “who are you talking to”

  • @TheBlackMambaa248
    @TheBlackMambaa248 4 роки тому +10

    It took a minute and ten seconds for Tom to rip on Bert😂

  • @yoavrachman2347
    @yoavrachman2347 5 років тому +4

    Great to see you guys helping out the homeless!

  • @ryanburchfield7097
    @ryanburchfield7097 5 років тому +67

    Cage match: Garth Brooks vs Chris Gaines

    • @SEEYAIAYE
      @SEEYAIAYE 5 років тому +6

      Whoever wins we all lose.

    • @Hevvvyyy
      @Hevvvyyy 5 років тому +1

      @@SEEYAIAYE god save us all

  • @tophergrace132
    @tophergrace132 5 років тому +42

    BIKES!!!!

  • @jamesvalek7988
    @jamesvalek7988 5 років тому +64

    Nice to see Tom was inspired by Theo Von to do this, someone he really admires as a person.

    • @twrzenski
      @twrzenski 5 років тому +6

      Taking wives on the daily bruh

    • @jegnur
      @jegnur 5 років тому +4

      Theo Von is annoying

  • @jamessowder193
    @jamessowder193 5 років тому +13

    Could've gave Tom better questions. He's one of the funniest dudes on the planet. Same with Bill Burr, could've be set up for some big laughs.

  • @YuhhJack
    @YuhhJack 5 років тому +10

    How many salads have I had?
    Single digits, man...😂

  • @theerascal8050
    @theerascal8050 4 роки тому +5

    I absolutely love his realistic approach

  • @jacej397
    @jacej397 5 років тому +14

    Tom Segura is my favorite stand up comedian ever

  • @mohnjayer
    @mohnjayer 5 років тому +281

    Piss on me. Beat me.
    Try it out.

  • @Eisaku2
    @Eisaku2 4 роки тому +2

    4:34 Crowley: *WRITE THAT DOWN, WRITE THAT DOWN*

  • @hiphopforheads772
    @hiphopforheads772 3 роки тому +3

    This is by far the only decent content I’ve ever seen from barstool. By a fucking mile

  • @conorfraser7581
    @conorfraser7581 5 років тому +45

    I actually started choking when he said "any interns at the end" after describing his load size

  • @heinousrat9019
    @heinousrat9019 5 років тому +8

    I'd design a machine that would make you almost sneeze, just forever on the edge of about to sneeze.

  • @MrMack-gj7nb
    @MrMack-gj7nb 5 років тому

    This channel deserves more subs

  • @calska140
    @calska140 5 років тому +44

    I met this dude in the jungles of Cambodia inside a cave that looked exactly like this dude. he had a beard.

  • @hawtmess66
    @hawtmess66 6 місяців тому

    Even though these are old, theyre hilarious. I came across these episodes today, while i was going down the you tube rabbit hole. You should bring back the weird questions

  • @peakf1300
    @peakf1300 5 років тому +9

    Segura is naturally SOOO funny

  • @DrewishAF
    @DrewishAF 9 місяців тому

    4:45
    My wife and i just talked about this question. We came up with:
    -Waiting in lines everywhere you go
    -Constant traffic jams
    -Every time you get a hankering for something specific, it is gone from your fridge/cupboard
    -Each time you're going somewhere specific/familiar, you have to take a 20% longer detour
    So basically it's just a first-world, white-collar kind if torture- inconvenience and slight disappointment

  • @bernie1107
    @bernie1107 5 років тому +5

    Hardcore fun!!

  • @Tombalino
    @Tombalino 5 років тому +3

    30 comedians could beat up an mma fighter
    but
    30 mma fighters aren’t funnier than a comedian

  • @excuzza
    @excuzza 4 роки тому +2

    He isn’t even hating on Burt, he sounds genuinely concerned. Like a dad who caught his kid killing a neighbor cat lol

  • @lr6732
    @lr6732 5 років тому +19

    Hey jeans i just finished in 4 strokes watching this video

  • @Tar-Numendil
    @Tar-Numendil 5 років тому +2

    I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. And i'm constantly looking for stuff that's funny.

  • @austinp123
    @austinp123 5 років тому +321

    How much did Tom cost? Looks like you just paid him 7500 bucks and he stood in front of camera and was like , so wtf do you guys want from me?

    • @CANControlGRAFFITI
      @CANControlGRAFFITI 5 років тому +5

      A cool ten G for this prime time you tubage

    • @Fartucus
      @Fartucus 5 років тому +47

      Yea its a bit weird how this channel that has so little subs and just started a few months ago is somehow getting celebrities to come on and read questions they stole from ask reddit.

    • @NaruBrilu
      @NaruBrilu 5 років тому +4

      Well if u got the money why not. Theres probably like a payment list somewhere that says x amount of $ for x amount of time

    • @LtDansLegs69
      @LtDansLegs69 5 років тому +12

      @@Fartucus barstool is loaded dude

    • @zanethekeymasterr
      @zanethekeymasterr 5 років тому +5

      Roger Hernandez this channel is a subdivision of barstool sports, a big media company

  • @crazestyle83
    @crazestyle83 Місяць тому

    "Might as well get in there and see what you can do" 😂💀🤣

    • @crazestyle83
      @crazestyle83 Місяць тому

      Cause he drinks all that water. I don't really drink much water and had small loads until i super hydrated and had massive loads. It correlates.

  • @lowkeykeylow5526
    @lowkeykeylow5526 5 років тому +7

    Herpe lip from the 711 slurpee sip

  • @tommasofava2569
    @tommasofava2569 3 роки тому

    worth the watch

  • @InfantGoose6565
    @InfantGoose6565 5 років тому +3

    We need one with Joey Diaz

  • @sarcasmo57
    @sarcasmo57 Рік тому

    Yep, good answers.

  • @ryanhalien8468
    @ryanhalien8468 5 років тому +3

    I rate this interview 12 out of 12 Benadryl

  • @jmo8611
    @jmo8611 3 роки тому

    At the end. "Any interns wanna.." 🤣🤣

  • @sebastianrutkowski7316
    @sebastianrutkowski7316 3 роки тому +6

    dude's criminally underrated.
    "the people's mayor" is funny AF!!

  • @gudea5207
    @gudea5207 3 роки тому +2

    Segura has just become that Garth Brooks guy.

  • @bentenigan573
    @bentenigan573 5 років тому +3

    I find it funny that they just have to stand there

  • @robretzlaff7992
    @robretzlaff7992 5 років тому +2

    Lmao Tom’s stylist really stepped it up for this video.

  • @GrungeRockGod
    @GrungeRockGod 5 років тому +5

    question one should have been Hard Rock Nick vs Garth Brooks

    • @wccrispy
      @wccrispy 5 років тому

      Tom would absolutely agree with this. He might also murder you for being right. Be careful out there. Gang gang.

  • @cornlips7247
    @cornlips7247 5 років тому

    Tom is my hero.

  • @pesty.wizard
    @pesty.wizard 5 років тому +7

    did they green screen in a gray background??

  • @jamesb2714
    @jamesb2714 5 років тому

    Best one yet

  • @alykazaam
    @alykazaam 5 років тому +106

    Presented with the opportunity to end hunger, bring world peace, or do literally anything else at the press of a button.
    *chooses a quarter-dispensing belly button instead*

    • @mrastronomer2268
      @mrastronomer2268 5 років тому +6

      Well with ending world hunger or peace then he would only need to press it once and be done.. you want something that you can use everyday

    • @RnDxJha
      @RnDxJha 5 років тому +22

      I think you can sponsor a small African child for 25 cents a month.

    • @vincebanuelos1297
      @vincebanuelos1297 5 років тому +5

      @@RnDxJha you sir... Have made my day 🤣 that was a great reply haha. Was expecting long ass replies, people ranting, but that reply was great 😂

    • @RnDxJha
      @RnDxJha 5 років тому +2

      @@vincebanuelos1297 😄🍞

    • @alykazaam
      @alykazaam 5 років тому

      MrAstronomer 22 that’s true if you want to be practical. But I think lots of people would benefit everyday from peace and full bellies.

  • @sedalemccall
    @sedalemccall 5 років тому

    These questions are really good lol

  • @TheButtniks
    @TheButtniks 5 років тому +17

    Tim is the true water champ.
    Sorry Christine. You know its true.

    • @slimlokz559
      @slimlokz559 5 років тому

      I love your profile pic lol

  • @ericgregory7366
    @ericgregory7366 5 років тому

    Toms deff the best

  • @Abster07
    @Abster07 5 років тому +13

    the amount of inside jokes that I understand makes me feel like a good mommy

  • @trevorallen5988
    @trevorallen5988 5 років тому

    By far the best one yet!

  • @alykazaam
    @alykazaam 5 років тому +15

    Bert Kreischer next?

  • @bradleylister832
    @bradleylister832 5 років тому

    Absolutely amaze

  • @ultranitro437
    @ultranitro437 5 років тому +8

    If my belly button could do one thing it would be to make a fresh stack of 1000 100's every time I push it.

  • @justino.maduka77
    @justino.maduka77 5 років тому

    One of my favorite episodes

  • @EDMTMLFilms
    @EDMTMLFilms 5 років тому +3

    Good morning Julia!!! I just took 10 Benadryl and ate some moose soup. Piss on me. Beat me.

  • @flippity_floop8632
    @flippity_floop8632 5 років тому +1

    You guys are doing good!

  • @Morbidyouth1
    @Morbidyouth1 5 років тому +64

    Lol Burnt Chrysler in a Fedora is quite possibly worse than the holocaust

    • @mattbonk5813
      @mattbonk5813 5 років тому +1

      Which Burnt vehemently denies

    • @SEEYAIAYE
      @SEEYAIAYE 5 років тому +2

      Burp Christkiller will not survive the Alcoholocaust.

    • @carlsaischa
      @carlsaischa 4 роки тому

      It is more racist at least.

  • @dash-x
    @dash-x 5 років тому

    Tommy buns is looking like a Brooklyn dad running Saturday morning bodega errands lol.

  • @ddavisgaming
    @ddavisgaming 5 років тому +3

    Joe Rogan answers the internet's best questions please.

  • @Bhrok3n
    @Bhrok3n 5 років тому

    Tom is the absolute best

  • @jphizack9729
    @jphizack9729 5 років тому +3

    Stats: I wanna know.. How many times Ive blinked each eyelid. How many times Ive tripped and fallen to the floor. How many times Ive tripped, but saved myself from falling to the floor..

  • @BrianKindly
    @BrianKindly Рік тому

    The "any interns" call back at the end, lmao

  • @GIBBSKIDS1
    @GIBBSKIDS1 5 років тому +8

    Casey Neistat really influenced people with his vlog music. I hear the same kind of stuff everywhere

    • @JamesBongo
      @JamesBongo 5 років тому

      Ya doesn't fit these videos in my opinion

    • @JamesBongo
      @JamesBongo 5 років тому

      @Zero Cool who is Casey neistat?

    • @JamesBongo
      @JamesBongo 5 років тому

      @Zero Cool he's a super famous UA-camr/ vlogger. Google him.

  • @opportunityrover6029
    @opportunityrover6029 3 роки тому +1

    0:30 big show vs wee man

  • @NathanFleming5722
    @NathanFleming5722 5 років тому +20

    Would you rather be pissed on, beat on, or hoed on out?

    • @CurtMudgeon
      @CurtMudgeon 5 років тому

      I would rather try it out man.

    • @CurtMudgeon
      @CurtMudgeon 5 років тому

      @Zero Cool Do they have access to a bunch of water and melee weapons?

    • @CurtMudgeon
      @CurtMudgeon 5 років тому

      @Zero Cool Okay sounds great! How big are their bbc's exactly though? Are we talking painful shits for a week or a visit to the Colorectal Surgeon? I need to be satisfied.

  • @sllimjimsinkhole
    @sllimjimsinkhole 5 років тому +1

    I want 100 hours of this.

  • @chaddlybobaddly
    @chaddlybobaddly 5 років тому +8

    YOU WERE REALLY DOING GOOD! SONUVA!! COME DOWN LATER FOR MOOSE SOUP!!!

  • @brysontaylor1223
    @brysontaylor1223 5 років тому

    I needed this lol I just wish I could like it more than once!

  • @susie7336
    @susie7336 5 років тому +68

    Hold my pocket.
    Gang gang!
    ✌🏽

  • @daddyresale3328
    @daddyresale3328 3 роки тому

    "6 quarters" lmao this man is great

  • @coastersandculture2125
    @coastersandculture2125 5 років тому +7

    Burnt is fat, but if Tommy Bunz shaves that beard a second chin of shame would be exposed. They both need another weight loss challenge.

  • @JoeVirella
    @JoeVirella 5 років тому

    Here’s the deal man! I see Tommy jeans and I hit that Like button right now right now right now right now

  • @purevocals510
    @purevocals510 5 років тому +4

    1st question should of definitely been answered with, "Joe Rogan and the fattest racist comedian blunt crisper"

  • @phillipclements282
    @phillipclements282 5 років тому +2

    I lost it on the dog question

  • @natalie654789
    @natalie654789 5 років тому +4

    3.5 GALLONS of water A DAY?!?! That’s crazy right?

    • @Kdpsnake
      @Kdpsnake 5 років тому +3

      Water champ