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I'm sorry but its good you know your father and have some kind of relationship with him even if it's not much. A lot of people don't have that. Try to forgive him and try to let him reach out to you when he wakes up and decides to do so. He doesn't realize it now but he needs you as much or more than you need him. One day he might realize that. He is human and imperfect and probably his dad was the same way to him. You are right he never learned how to be one.
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Tony Mejia well at least you have someone even if he doesn't know how to act like in I had a a father but he……... died and everyday I feel horrible I never got to say goodbye or anything special like that
+minty mint I have the same kind of father. I didnt see him for 7 years and sometimes I am so envious of people who have normal parents. Sometimes I feel so sad and angry at the same time at my father. I think having father like this is the same as not having a father.
My heart goes out to all the single mothers raising kids on there own but I want to know are the effects of being heavily neglected by your father or father figure similar to that of not having a father around and which is worse not having one or having one who refuses to acknowledge your existence?
The Mutual Friend I grew up without ever knowing my father and it didn't really start to hurt until I was a teenager and realized how much I actually needed him.
The Mutual Friend thank you so much for this because my son's father been in and out of his life and our baby is going on 4 years old and I'm the one stuck raising our son while he's at their living the best life he comes in and out of my son's life and it truly hurts my heart because this man I truly love why he's out there playing games and doing whatever he wants and I'm stuck Raising a Son by myself have to be the one that discipline him and teach him how to be a man which he need his dad but I'm going to keep my head up and stay strong it's hard sometimes but I know it God everything is possible I can manage taking care of my baby
In my opinion, it all depends on how you raise the child, and who you have influencing their lives. Kids don't grow up to be thugs just because they don't have a father.
However, the impact that a decent father has on a son is far much extensive than that of a male child just having a random guy acting part time like father.
Mariam Baraka what about ones with fathers and grow up and kill their whole family or shoot up their whole school. Maybe their should be studies on what makes kids from these “pure bread families” go crazy.
vigorlilover Of course you’ll always have the outliers in any group But overall children without stable Fathers in their lives do end up becoming a negative in society.
Here we go again with the outlier argument... lol they are not outliers, it is just that in most cases single mothers or fathers, cant raise a child because they are not responsible to begin with, how do you let your mate who is partially responsible for raising your offspring go away? Raising a child doesnt works right if your parents are not educated or responsible...
As a Black Australian heterosexual male of East African Somali descent from Lakemba, New South Wales, Australia had the privilege of growing up with both my father and my mother. My parents are still married till this day plus they raised my three sisters, my one brother and me wonderfully. They honestly taught us to always do the chores, to obviously never commit crimes, to drink healthy, to drive responsibly, to eat healthy, to be educated, to do exercise, to make good friends, to make good decisions in life, to support other helpless people, to get a job, to finish school, to go to university and to live our lives morally. From the bottom of my heart I thank my father and my mother a lot because they are both immigrants who successfully immigrated to Australia to seek a more better life so they could provide my siblings plus me a decent life. It really frustrates me to believe that there are some heartless people who would literally attack fathers by saying they are not needed because that is sexist and fathers are absolutely important just like mothers. If you grew up in a loving Two-Parent family household then you are extremely lucky and very privileged. Fathers and mothers are absolutely important because both of them need to provide love plus security. As human beings we should all follow the three principles of life compassion, empathy and love to have a more perfect union.
@@Melly16yr10 Thank you so much I really appreciate it because compassionate responsible fathers matter and compassionate responsible mothers matter because they are both very important in order to create a more healthy positive society to make a better world for children both boys & girls period. When boys and girls grow up with a loving father and a loving mother they could understand both men & women which they will learn to get along with both genders when they grow up to be adults.
I lost my dad at 2 years old & I'm now 38 it's vary hard life growing up with out a dad I'm not a bad person I just been done wrong from a lot I wish I know we're to go like a really good lawyer that can help me on some things it's cold in life well thanks you all have a great day
Correction most gang members come from single family home that do not have a father present. Society needs to understand how important fathers are. This is especially true for our sons. Women need to understand that men learn from men to be men. Men need to understand that without mothers children do not learn how to deal with his or her emotions.
Society understand and the government too. That is why both hate fathers. Government can not manipulate strong families as easily as single mothers. Government wants to be a big daddy indoctrinating children and dumbing them down to be obedient cattle.
+Herr915 I'm a mother and I didn't have a father even though he was around. He was very destructive. My partners fathers was destructive too. I realised after having my son and looking at successful middle class families that children do better with fathers around. However, knowing this yet the fathers not doing better is another thing. Mothers don't really want to do it all and especially don't want to do it on their OWN. It is fathers (men) that are problems cos yes, little men learn from big men and little women learn about men from big men. Yet we see all too often fathers prefer to be in the garage, down the pub - just getting away from family life as if mothers wouldn't like to do that sometimes too. My boys daddy is a zombie father, he's at home but does very little by way of interaction with his son. He prefers his phone. Fathers simply have to do better than what they are doing now. They have to always mentor boys and girls better even men mentoring men - telling men if their behaviour is immorale or wrong but lets face it men are wimps and don't do this cos usually they are scared or shy. Men express too much aggression in the household when perhaps they might be tired (like a child), men can be another burden behaving like a child causing destruction to routine and rules whilst the mother keeps quiet but is finding it hard working around this big so called adult that is supposed to be daddy. Why can't men cut it cos we women have to even though it's painfully hard. I know if I had a lot of money and raised my son ON MY OWN it would be so much easier. Ideally I wouldn't want to as ideally a family means daddy, mummy and children. But daddy just causes confusion, destruction, nothing good and this is all down to men. Men must evolve better than this constant generation cycle of same old low expectation of behaviour as a father and destruction. On the news is pure destruction caused by man - well men bring this destruction into the household they aren't behaving differently just cos it's a family set up, destruction everywhere in the home, outside and is reflected on the news. Some men are shining examples but they are not enough and they don't also even use their mouths appropriately to mentor society. Society must see men actively mentoring not being a zombie well behaved person as that to is a cop-out. Men must also start telling men that they need to do better than they are doing now and not blaming women. Cos I know as a mother aint no way daddy is going to sideline me as my positive role towards my son, just aint going to happen yet men complain of this AND THAT'S BECAUSE THE WOMEN ISN'T SEEING ANY POSITIVETY SO SHE SIDELINES DADDY. Daddy doesn't install any confidence in her. Like at work you can't blame your work colleagues if they don't trust you . You must prove to them that you can be trusted and this is what fathers must do and stop their fucking maoning all the time. JUST PROVE IT AND START DOING BETTER - DAMN!!!
Matthew Anderson thank you - very positive that you think so. Considering, I did get a little carried away at the end and grammar needed to be checked!
i have no father and so i may cry about him cause i think it is my fault he left, but i am no gang member or jail inmate. and william saxon, women may be able to do it on their own but what about me, the child?
He is a full grown man, he makes his own choices. Why blame yourself? There is no hole in my heart over the man that beat us half to death. Child becomes parent in a heart beat, we have rent to pay and better things to take care of. We grow up. Take care sister.
M.A my mother was the law, she made us go to school and she beat us too. However the father was the child abuser, including sexual abuse if you want to call that a tool of law. Kids come when they want to, it is only g-d that grants such gifts. Humans often think them selves as g-ds and that is when earth became hell. Humans have no control over life despite the effort, my Mum married my "father" only to be beaten half to death by him. She was no whore, she was 15 when he raped her and got her pregnant. Have a good day. Take care of your children.
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C.F. If your mother beat you then she was a child abuser too, and most probably an emotional terrorist. This story is common as hell in the safe houses. Direct research has shown that when the father is intimately involved in the care of his children from birth, abuse and especially sexual abuse is non-existent in fathers. But it is the mother who is the gatekeeper decides whether father involvement happens, and when she interferes with it, she is the provocation of male rage.
My loser father left me and my 5 siblings when I 7 years old. He took my bed and I had to sleep on the floor for years. We were destitute and if it wasn’t for my grandparents digging into their social security and pension, my mother would’ve had put some of us in foster care. It was so hard on all of us while he lived it up without a care in the world. He came back into our lives when we were adults and all the hard work was over and tried to pretend we can simply pick up where we left off. That’s when we all left him. We have no use for him. What goes around comes around pops.
Im 13 and my mom died when i was born and my dad abandoned me before i was born. they werent even married. my grandma died too so now i live with my grandpa.
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Kirstin Erasmus I'm sorry to hear that, stay strong and do good in school. As you get older and start seriously dating always remember *never ever* depend on a man in your life, always depend on yourself. I know it's hard but it'll be the best thing you ever do for yourself.
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Im only 13 have no father and i dont have any brothers and i was just seeing how i actually feel. i dont know how i feel actually i was abused too but i dont know whats happening
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I lost my kid to me ex.. she told judges I was mistreating her and saying all kinds of bs. Now I haven't seen my son for four years and I remember how he used to light up when he would see me. I was happy coming home to him and seeing what he wanted to do wether it was play or just go walk to the park and let him see the world outside his crib. I miss him everyday.
I love my child. Her mother and I had a one night stand after a night in the bar. Found out she was pregnant and that same day found out she just graduated from high school. I was so upset. She was 18 and I was 24. I didn’t tell her to go away. I welcomed her in my home. I asked her one day for a cup of coffee and she said no. That should’ve been the first red flag. Still stayed for four years. We got a place together. She didn’t help with any bills. She just bought food. Then one day she said she got a second job and I felt relieved. I asked her what bill she was going o take off my shoulders and she said none. It was for her credit card. So I broke it off after that conversation. It’s been four years since then and I’ve been in child support a week after we split. I’ve always taken great care of my child. Today my child said she has a new dad. Broke my heart instantly. But I can’t get mad at her. She has been molded into the little person she is. She used the courts to extort me. The judge looked at me like I was a predator. But she lied and manipulated. I even stayed four years after. What else could I have done. I tried to be a stand up man and it didn’t work. I feel like a fool and feel even more foolish as I watch my child’s mind get played with. No one listens to me. Everyone thinks I’m some kind of deadbeat. Today was the hardest but I won’t get into it. I’ll just say I hate being a man. I mean nothing.
Bro pick ya fucking head up , and DO NOT LET THAT WOMAN. Tear you from your child bro , if u truly love that child and the kid will remember the love you showed them ... don’t give up .. that’s what she wants bro ...u have to be smarter then her bro
Similar thing happened to my husband. One night stand right before him and I met and then she told him she had gotten pregnant. Red flag #1 should have been when she pretty much sounded like she was trying to convince us she was a responsible stable person. Red flag #2 should have been when she got mad that we were now married. Red flag #3 should have been when she started saying that her “boyfriend”’was going to be a better father when she literally hadn’t given my husband a chance to be one and was angry that my husband wanted to step up and coparent. I could go on and on and on. Turns out she was in fact, unstable in every which way possible. My husbands final straw was when she started threatening me and our unborn twins. She literally went from “you mean nothing you’re never going to see your kid to you’re such a deadbeat because you won’t put up with and put your family through my insanity for 18 years”. We just successfully got a restraining order after he asked her to stop contacting him and blocked her on everything and then she started calling his workplace demanding that they make him call her to talk. He made sure that child support is always paid and that his kid always has health insurance but other than that the whole family (collective parents also) decided it was best that he steered clear literally for the safety of everyone else.
yeah this weighs so heavy on my heart because mom is pushing me out i know my importance but its unbearable mom doesn't see noe care to take any blame if i leave they lose their house and i'll get blamed. if i leave i'll get blamed for giving up im not allowed to be a father my kids are brainwashed and im sure i'll get the blame for that
I have always wanted a dad, but from my real dad I’m scared of men and being loved. So I have a feeling I won’t ever get married or fall in love and I have never liked any boy or anyone bc I feel like the same thing will happen to me. He is arrested now, and will never touch me again
no fathers are the guys who stay and take care of the kid the douchebag is the dude who sticks it in and leaves not having a father figure can impact your life mine was my grandfather i was better off with him than my dad of course everybody deserves a role model of some sort it should all start when your a child.
Saxxon is wrong, some women prefer being alone at parenting than to have to explain a black eye to her children or anything of that sort... as for my self i do prefer being alone this way i can do what i want and when i wanted. For me it is called FREEDOM....!!! It is how i rear my two sons to teach them to choose the right thing
My dad means everything to me. I adore my father. You? You are a disgrace to your children. If you were my mother, I'd disown you with the quickness. This is NOT about the effects of absent fathers on single mothers, this is about the effects such an unfortunate situation has on CHILDREN. If this was just about mothers, nobody would care, trust me. You can screw up your life but don't screw the lives of others in the process.
+YellowRoseOvTx I so agree with you that this is about the children and not mothers being a mother myself. That women wasn't a good example ranting about herself. But what about those fathers in the home that are zombies not actively contributing emotionally to the childs wellbeing, actively taking an interest in their child(ren) lives, no bonding, don't offer any words of support. My father was crap, he just sat their smoking and was very intimidating. We just wondered are we going to get to bed without being hit. - as I got older I wished he meat a fatal accident. Don't see him at all now as was a useless human being - that's a lot of fathers sad to say. LUCKY YOU THAT YOU'VE HAD A GREAT DAD. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN MOST FATHERS ARE LIKE YOURS - IT'S NOT EVERYONE EXPERIENCE AS MUCH AS WE'D LIKE IT TO BE. MOST EXPERIENCES WITH FATHERS ARE DESTRUCTIVE ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. You are the minority lucky ones cos lets face it, most dads are either beating up on their kids and mothers, being very negative and aggressive - like walking on egg shells, or don't give a damn about their kids amd would rather be down the pub or in the garage. Just leave everything up to mum to raise the kids even though they are in the household. It's like men do the pleasure bit have sex then can't be bothered to raise their children adequately or appropriately. I have to shut my son's father down when he gets aggressive. I talk to him to talk to his son, show some emotion, show interest in your sons life and what he's interested in, sometimes take your child to activities. What does he do just be on his phone. Most men have some sort of personality disorder but they just don't know it and this is what contributes negatively to the home. Mothers are just trying to make everything amicable but we will become a tiger if necessary as I. If he had a vagina he'd get more pleasure out of the phone inside him than he does with his kids. Lets not kid ourselves fathers clearly need to do better. They need to mentor better and not be a child themselves. Women don't really want to raise kids on their own cos I know I had this great vision of myself and daddy raising our child and a lovely future - dashed. But he went and ruined it with his naturally destructive testosterone urge in him to do. I'm sorry it would be great to say that fathers are great but generally speaking they simply aren't. They don't hold their own as a positive well intentioned parent and they moan how they are sideline by mothers when all they have to do is lead by action. Anyone can lead by words but yet their actions speak differently. My father was crap my partners fathers was crap and I'm fighting so hard to ensure my baby boy isn't following the same which is why I'm working so damn hard. If only you knew how I have to do everything even the birds and the bees. It's not about women versus man. It's simply fathers just aren't cutting it like they should. Most mothers do (not all) but most of us fight to do our best. And don't you tell me that your mother was rubbish cos I bet she wasn't now was she - there you are. Just consider yourself very lucky but a minority.
11kwright, by all means, if a man is abusive the mother should do all she can to remove herself and her children from danger. That choice is different than a woman simply preferring that any man, abusice or not, not be involved in her children's life so she can make all parenting decisions all by herself. Also, abusive men are not the majority. This is just a statistical fact. It's also a statistical fact that children are MORE AT RISK of being physically and sexually abused when the biological father is absent and their mother is a "single parent". Education has been made more easily accessible and most ppl are not at all poor or living in crime infested, impoverish conditions that expose them to likely being victims of terrible experiences. The majority of fathers are involved with their children are a positive force. You are not the majority but you may be the majority for a certain segment of society. That is not to stereotype all poor or uneducated ppl, but there is a correlation.
Except that Lupe was talking about having to "explain a black eye" to her children due to her children's father - beating a spouse is not a good sign of being able to function or interact in a healthy way with children or other vulnerable people.
I can understand that. One does the best one can with the available resources. My daughter at 17 was deathly afraid to turn out like her mother, and I had to tell her frankly, that in spite of my best efforts to make up the difference, she still needed the mother's role model and parenting. I simply was not equipped to emulate usual mothering. I encouraged her to find a mentoress. But at that age the die is pretty well cast. It helped, but not enough. Parenting by fathers has a very different effect on children than mothers. Children often are unable to recognize its long term effects for years: “Frank Pedersen, psychologist at the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, has found that the more actively involved a six-month-old baby has been with his or her father, the higher that baby's scores on certain tests of mental and motor developments Similarly, Ross Parke, examining children over the first eight weeks of life, has found that the more fathers were involved in the everyday repetitive (even boring) aspects of care, such as bathing, feeding, dressing, and diapering, the more socially responsive the babies were. In addition, Parke also found such babies were able to withstand stressful situations better. In the traditional family, father has always been acknowledged to play two vital roles in the lives of his children. First, he helps his offspring develop a sense of their own competence and independence outside the powerful intimacy of the mother/child couple. Second, he contributes powerfully to the sexual identity formation of his children. These concepts are so important that they merit closer scrutiny, beginning with the idea of father as promoter of independence. P35 The Nurturing Father, Dr Kyle Pruett
Especially ‘those’ kids.... Not: Especially ‘the’ kids.... Is that non verbal communication at it’s best to tell our kids are different. The conversation has to change. Too many times we the people have allow ‘those’ with non verbal communication to speak in our lives and the lives of our children; to the point that many honestly believe what they have said. And, because ‘those’ with non verbal communication were people holding quote “powerful positions” unquote, many thought they had to believe what they were telling them. Just imagine how many of them with non verbal communication was fed into our schools from the system to continually repeat ‘failure’ into our children minds, hearts and souls to believe what they only could have found out from reading a book or newspaper. Those stats come not from actual going into a community or home/ house. #Jailhouse #System #Created But, what’s amazing is how they can yearly show up doing times of election, only to fed what they have feed year in and year out, because after repeating statistics for so many years they really are convinced by now they have trained enough minds to believe in the statistics, rather than their own true abilities. Now, imagine ‘those’ with non verbal communication ever dare to lay aside their fears, and start having ‘real’ conversations, they wouldn’t have to keep using statistics quotes against our people/children. Especially when the ‘real’ truth lies within each and every individual. Looking too long at what’s been missing in anything can put a hole in anyone’s heart. So, real conversation: What do you have that is not missing or have gone missing. Appreciate #that! #BE thankful and grateful and #Go #Beyond because who knows you just might #BE that 1 in a million to change statistics quotes to an actual ‘real’ live human being. *MD
Poverty? Jail? Gangs? I really don't think so... My dad left me a week before my first birthday and when I did eventually get to meet my dad,he treated me like Shit.. I have been sexually assaulted by my "dad's" step son, I was verbally abused by my then step mum at the time.. and guess what, I have good grades, some exceeding average.. I do extra curricular activities to improve my skills and for my future cv.. I am growing up without a dad and I don't have any criminal record, I do not live in poverty, and I'm not in a gang... that women needs to get her facts straight.. I'm 13 and I know not to be influenced by stupidity and idiotic behaviour. I don't see my dad or anyone from his side of the family.
I don’t agree with her. Cause kids with both parents in there life. And they still off the hook. To me I feel like it’s more about what people’s kids are Interested in. Because now days music and social media and the people that’s around them influence them .
This doesn't include the mothers that run and hide from the fathers cheating both him and the children. Telling lies to the kids in order to cover up their crime.
How about the Dad who is there but a narcissist mother denies him access to his children. Or else children are being manipulated by their narcissist mother to harm the poor father, consider that for a second.
There you have it. Mothers are the gatekeepers for fatherly involvement. She's either the facilitator or the bouncer. And that's why the most heavily invested fathers in their children end up being the least engaged with them after she gives him the boot. ICMI'18, Nick Langford
How about you teach your children not to attach their well being and thought process on the absence of one person. I know some mother and father's who are better off being out of the children's life...so in conclusion it depends on the parenting not the gender of the person, if the mother is doing her best at parenting but the father is toxic then the father needs to be removed. If the father is doing his best to parent and the mother is toxic then she also need to be removed.
For those of us who are in special education today there put us in there because we don’t have any father’s at any of our home I’m talking about real fathers not step father They love to make money off of disabled people seriously I have been going up without my real dad for 15 years my dad have left me since 2003 and they put me there because I didn’t want anything from my real father safely I blame him for everything in my life I want to say thank you to my family for helping me with my problems I have in Society. Special ed teachers they failed me on purpose because they made sure that I will never get a real job at never go to any real
you need to do a research on this shit? Well, kids without dads have been called bastard kids for ages, and for a good reason! I am sorry that they are unfortunate kids, but something has to be done to prevent single parenthood, yet we praise the ole single mama... a society without shame tis what it tis
+why-me?? it doesn't matter. Society doesn't give a fuck about milllions of people with destroyed lives due to single mom parenting, society only cares about being politically correct and the more criminals are raised, the worse it gets, the more PC you have to be. The more obvious it becomes the more they will silence you for thinking critically. Most powerful nation in the world torn to pieces from inside by ignorrance.
+why-me?? a bastard is simply a child born out of wedlock... it does not define a fatherless child. In this day and age there is more and more 'bastard' children born due to a vast amount of people not giving a fuck about religion anymore. Research that!
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The absence of a father 1965 25% of black children were born out of wedlock now it’s almost 70% A child without a father in the home is 5 times more likely to be poor 9 times more likely to drop out of school 20 times more likely to end up in jail 81% of teen pregnancies come from fatherless homes 80% of homeless teens come from fatherless homes 71% of the male population in the penal system fatherless homes Four things a father provides protection provision presence praise “But I know for a fact that had I had a father, I'd have some discipline. I'd have more confidence. Your mother cannot calm you down the way a man can. Your mother can't reassure you the way a man can. My mother couldn't show me where my manhood was. You need a man to teach you how to be a man.” Tupac
the plain truth an statistics don't lie mother's are terrible parents and shouldn't be allowed to raise kids by their selves most women are unstable and confused because of feminist movement and etc..
Steven Swaggard Sr I seriously hope your incredibly jaded, harmful, and inaccurate perception on this might mature and change in the future. Good luck, dude. Sad.
divorce tells fathers we are not needed til the courts get involved then you pay..I need receipts please for school or food or shoes...noooo mommas need make up and shoes too
Before social safety nets having a child out of wedlock was a death sentence to the mother and the child. Starvation disease and homelessness. Sadly I do believe we need to go back to that system. Women will choose better or suffer.
Not just Dads but Mom's too. BOTH Parents are necessary for a Child's wellbeing.
Leah Talley to
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no shit.
Leah Talley I agree ☝️
Always have to make it about women. Damn can men ever have their importance expressed.
I have a father but he doesn't know how to be one
I hear ya there. : (
I'm sorry but its good you know your father and have some kind of relationship with him even if it's not much. A lot of people don't have that. Try to forgive him and try to let him reach out to you when he wakes up and decides to do so. He doesn't realize it now but he needs you as much or more than you need him. One day he might realize that. He is human and imperfect and probably his dad was the same way to him. You are right he never learned how to be one.
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Tony Mejia well at least you have someone even if he doesn't know how to act like in I had a a father but he……... died and everyday I feel horrible I never got to say goodbye or anything special like that
+minty mint I have the same kind of father. I didnt see him for 7 years and sometimes I am so envious of people who have normal parents. Sometimes I feel so sad and angry at the same time at my father. I think having father like this is the same as not having a father.
My heart goes out to all the single mothers raising kids on there own but I want to know are the effects of being heavily neglected by your father or father figure similar to that of not having a father around and which is worse not having one or having one who refuses to acknowledge your existence?
The Mutual Friend I grew up without ever knowing my father and it didn't really start to hurt until I was a teenager and realized how much I actually needed him.
The Mutual Friend thank you so much for this because my son's father been in and out of his life and our baby is going on 4 years old and I'm the one stuck raising our son while he's at their living the best life he comes in and out of my son's life and it truly hurts my heart because this man I truly love why he's out there playing games and doing whatever he wants and I'm stuck Raising a Son by myself have to be the one that discipline him and teach him how to be a man which he need his dad but I'm going to keep my head up and stay strong it's hard sometimes but I know it God everything is possible I can manage taking care of my baby
Agree
Thanks, I needed this
My 7 month old brother is going to grow without a dad and us knowing that he is resting.☹
In my opinion, it all depends on how you raise the child, and who you have influencing their lives. Kids don't grow up to be thugs just because they don't have a father.
However, the impact that a decent father has on a son is far much extensive than that of a male child just having a random guy acting part time like father.
Mariam Baraka what about ones with fathers and grow up and kill their whole family or shoot up their whole school.
Maybe their should be studies on what makes kids from these “pure bread families” go crazy.
vigorlilover Of course you’ll always have the outliers in any group But overall children without stable Fathers in their lives do end up becoming a negative in society.
Here we go again with the outlier argument... lol they are not outliers, it is just that in most cases single mothers or fathers, cant raise a child because they are not responsible to begin with, how do you let your mate who is partially responsible for raising your offspring go away? Raising a child doesnt works right if your parents are not educated or responsible...
@@vigorlilover Blaming the father's? Are you stupid? School shootings happen because of bullying.
As a Black Australian heterosexual male of East African Somali descent from Lakemba, New South Wales, Australia had the privilege of growing up with both my father and my mother. My parents are still married till this day plus they raised my three sisters, my one brother and me wonderfully. They honestly taught us to always do the chores, to obviously never commit crimes, to drink healthy, to drive responsibly, to eat healthy, to be educated, to do exercise, to make good friends, to make good decisions in life, to support other helpless people, to get a job, to finish school, to go to university and to live our lives morally. From the bottom of my heart I thank my father and my mother a lot because they are both immigrants who successfully immigrated to Australia to seek a more better life so they could provide my siblings plus me a decent life. It really frustrates me to believe that there are some heartless people who would literally attack fathers by saying they are not needed because that is sexist and fathers are absolutely important just like mothers. If you grew up in a loving Two-Parent family household then you are extremely lucky and very privileged. Fathers and mothers are absolutely important because both of them need to provide love plus security. As human beings we should all follow the three principles of life compassion, empathy and love to have a more perfect union.
They sound great
@@Melly16yr10 Thank you so much I really appreciate it because compassionate responsible fathers matter and compassionate responsible mothers matter because they are both very important in order to create a more healthy positive society to make a better world for children both boys & girls period. When boys and girls grow up with a loving father and a loving mother they could understand both men & women which they will learn to get along with both genders when they grow up to be adults.
I lost my dad at 2 years old & I'm now 38 it's vary hard life growing up with out a dad I'm not a bad person I just been done wrong from a lot I wish I know we're to go like a really good lawyer that can help me on some things it's cold in life well thanks you all have a great day
No wonder I am so messed up. 😭😭
You’re one of millions ... nothing new
Mother figures & father figures are important. Don't necessarily has to be biological
What defines a Hispanic? | Marcus Ward Show ua-cam.com/video/-WRsLuBZiM8/v-deo.html
@@marcuswardshow ????????????? Weird assss nigga
Correction most gang members come from single family home that do not have a father present. Society needs to understand how important fathers are. This is especially true for our sons. Women need to understand that men learn from men to be men. Men need to understand that without mothers children do not learn how to deal with his or her emotions.
Society understand and the government too. That is why both hate fathers. Government can not manipulate strong families as easily as single mothers. Government wants to be a big daddy indoctrinating children and dumbing them down to be obedient cattle.
+Herr915 I'm a mother and I didn't have a father even though he was around. He was very destructive. My partners fathers was destructive too. I realised after having my son and looking at successful middle class families that children do better with fathers around. However, knowing this yet the fathers not doing better is another thing. Mothers don't really want to do it all and especially don't want to do it on their OWN. It is fathers (men) that are problems cos yes, little men learn from big men and little women learn about men from big men. Yet we see all too often fathers prefer to be in the garage, down the pub - just getting away from family life as if mothers wouldn't like to do that sometimes too. My boys daddy is a zombie father, he's at home but does very little by way of interaction with his son. He prefers his phone. Fathers simply have to do better than what they are doing now. They have to always mentor boys and girls better even men mentoring men - telling men if their behaviour is immorale or wrong but lets face it men are wimps and don't do this cos usually they are scared or shy. Men express too much aggression in the household when perhaps they might be tired (like a child), men can be another burden behaving like a child causing destruction to routine and rules whilst the mother keeps quiet but is finding it hard working around this big so called adult that is supposed to be daddy. Why can't men cut it cos we women have to even though it's painfully hard. I know if I had a lot of money and raised my son ON MY OWN it would be so much easier. Ideally I wouldn't want to as ideally a family means daddy, mummy and children. But daddy just causes confusion, destruction, nothing good and this is all down to men. Men must evolve better than this constant generation cycle of same old low expectation of behaviour as a father and destruction. On the news is pure destruction caused by man - well men bring this destruction into the household they aren't behaving differently just cos it's a family set up, destruction everywhere in the home, outside and is reflected on the news. Some men are shining examples but they are not enough and they don't also even use their mouths appropriately to mentor society. Society must see men actively mentoring not being a zombie well behaved person as that to is a cop-out. Men must also start telling men that they need to do better than they are doing now and not blaming women. Cos I know as a mother aint no way daddy is going to sideline me as my positive role towards my son, just aint going to happen yet men complain of this AND THAT'S BECAUSE THE WOMEN ISN'T SEEING ANY POSITIVETY SO SHE SIDELINES DADDY. Daddy doesn't install any confidence in her. Like at work you can't blame your work colleagues if they don't trust you . You must prove to them that you can be trusted and this is what fathers must do and stop their fucking maoning all the time. JUST PROVE IT AND START DOING BETTER - DAMN!!!
***** I did get a little carried away at the end - so apologies there.
Matthew Anderson thank you - very positive that you think so. Considering, I did get a little carried away at the end and grammar needed to be checked!
Beautiful
My parents separated 20 years ago when I was ten and to be honest I couldn’t have been happier!
i have no father and so i may cry about him cause i think it is my fault he left, but i am no gang member or jail inmate. and william saxon, women may be able to do it on their own but what about me, the child?
He is a full grown man, he makes his own choices. Why blame yourself? There is no hole in my heart over the man that beat us half to death. Child becomes parent in a heart beat, we have rent to pay and better things to take care of. We grow up. Take care sister.
M.A my mother was the law, she made us go to school and she beat us too. However the father was the child abuser, including sexual abuse if you want to call that a tool of law. Kids come when they want to, it is only g-d that grants such gifts. Humans often think them selves as g-ds and that is when earth became hell. Humans have no control over life despite the effort, my Mum married my "father" only to be beaten half to death by him. She was no whore, she was 15 when he raped her and got her pregnant. Have a good day. Take care of your children.
Hi Shayla, please support me by purchasing the book A Boy's Cry and The Missing Fathers on Amazon so that I can raise enough funds to have events on the topics of Child abuse and the absent fathers. Thanking you in advance.
C.F. If your mother beat you then she was a child abuser too, and most probably an emotional terrorist. This story is common as hell in the safe houses.
Direct research has shown that when the father is intimately involved in the care of his children from birth, abuse and especially sexual abuse is non-existent in fathers. But it is the mother who is the gatekeeper decides whether father involvement happens, and when she interferes with it, she is the provocation of male rage.
*dabs* I have no father
*cries inside*
dabs too*
My loser father left me and my 5 siblings when I 7 years old. He took my bed and I had to sleep on the floor for years. We were destitute and if it wasn’t for my grandparents digging into their social security and pension, my mother would’ve had put some of us in foster care. It was so hard on all of us while he lived it up without a care in the world. He came back into our lives when we were adults and all the hard work was over and tried to pretend we can simply pick up where we left off. That’s when we all left him. We have no use for him. What goes around comes around pops.
Im 13 and my mom died when i was born and my dad abandoned me before i was born. they werent even married. my grandma died too so now i live with my grandpa.
That's a very hard experience for a child you're age and hope the best for you. Stay in school.
Thank you😋
Hi Kirstin, please support me by purchasing the book A Boy's Cry and The Missing Fathers on Amazon so that I can raise enough funds to have events on the topics of Child abuse and the absent fathers. Thanking you in advance.
Kirstin Erasmus You kinda resemble prophet Muhammad.
Kirstin Erasmus I'm sorry to hear that, stay strong and do good in school. As you get older and start seriously dating always remember *never ever* depend on a man in your life, always depend on yourself. I know it's hard but it'll be the best thing you ever do for yourself.
Life without father is very miserable. I have felt the same as I lost my father during my school days.
Look at how fathers a depicted on sit coms and dramas and commercials it has an effect.
Fatherhood has not been taken seriously it has been relegated to the woman is doing you a favor for staying married to you
Hi Stevemtc1, please support me by purchasing the book A Boy's Cry and The Missing Fathers on Amazon so that I can raise enough funds to have events on the topics of Child abuse and the absent fathers. Thanking you in advance.
but im getting annoyed when people still say "where is your dad" or "is your dad dead* AND I SAY I DONT HAVE A DAD
they ask me this question again and again 😡
Reach out to him I bet he wants to talk to u
Ngl I have a single mum but I'm doing fine
Im only 13 have no father and i dont have any brothers and i was just seeing how i actually feel. i dont know how i feel actually i was abused too but i dont know whats happening
And to make it very clear wrong chose
in life they will pay the consequence of there actions.
Hi Lupe Ka, please support me by purchasing the book A Boy's Cry and The Missing Fathers on Amazon so that I can raise enough funds to have events on the topics of Child abuse and the absent fathers. Thanking you in advance.
Hi Matthew, please support me by purchasing the book A Boy's Cry and The Missing Fathers on Amazon so that I can raise enough funds to have events on the topics of Child abuse and the absent fathers. Thanking you in advance.
What are the consequences?
Well reported. Straight facts.
I lost my hubby 7 years a go.
I am now 36 years.
My two kids,need a father figure,someone they can talk to.
Please,can anyone here help me,?
I lost my kid to me ex.. she told judges I was mistreating her and saying all kinds of bs. Now I haven't seen my son for four years and I remember how he used to light up when he would see me. I was happy coming home to him and seeing what he wanted to do wether it was play or just go walk to the park and let him see the world outside his crib. I miss him everyday.
I love my child. Her mother and I had a one night stand after a night in the bar. Found out she was pregnant and that same day found out she just graduated from high school. I was so upset. She was 18 and I was 24. I didn’t tell her to go away. I welcomed her in my home. I asked her one day for a cup of coffee and she said no. That should’ve been the first red flag. Still stayed for four years. We got a place together. She didn’t help with any bills. She just bought food. Then one day she said she got a second job and I felt relieved. I asked her what bill she was going o take off my shoulders and she said none. It was for her credit card. So I broke it off after that conversation. It’s been four years since then and I’ve been in child support a week after we split. I’ve always taken great care of my child. Today my child said she has a new dad. Broke my heart instantly. But I can’t get mad at her. She has been molded into the little person she is. She used the courts to extort me. The judge looked at me like I was a predator. But she lied and manipulated. I even stayed four years after. What else could I have done. I tried to be a stand up man and it didn’t work. I feel like a fool and feel even more foolish as I watch my child’s mind get played with. No one listens to me. Everyone thinks I’m some kind of deadbeat. Today was the hardest but I won’t get into it. I’ll just say I hate being a man. I mean nothing.
Bro pick ya fucking head up , and DO NOT LET THAT WOMAN. Tear you from your child bro , if u truly love that child and the kid will remember the love you showed them ... don’t give up .. that’s what she wants bro ...u have to be smarter then her bro
Similar thing happened to my husband. One night stand right before him and I met and then she told him she had gotten pregnant. Red flag #1 should have been when she pretty much sounded like she was trying to convince us she was a responsible stable person. Red flag #2 should have been when she got mad that we were now married. Red flag #3 should have been when she started saying that her “boyfriend”’was going to be a better father when she literally hadn’t given my husband a chance to be one and was angry that my husband wanted to step up and coparent. I could go on and on and on. Turns out she was in fact, unstable in every which way possible. My husbands final straw was when she started threatening me and our unborn twins. She literally went from “you mean nothing you’re never going to see your kid to you’re such a deadbeat because you won’t put up with and put your family through my insanity for 18 years”. We just successfully got a restraining order after he asked her to stop contacting him and blocked her on everything and then she started calling his workplace demanding that they make him call her to talk. He made sure that child support is always paid and that his kid always has health insurance but other than that the whole family (collective parents also) decided it was best that he steered clear literally for the safety of everyone else.
yeah this weighs so heavy on my heart because mom is pushing me out i know my importance but its unbearable mom doesn't see noe care to take any blame if i leave they lose their house and i'll get blamed. if i leave i'll get blamed for giving up im not allowed to be a father my kids are brainwashed and im sure i'll get the blame for that
I have always wanted a dad, but from my real dad I’m scared of men and being loved. So I have a feeling I won’t ever get married or fall in love and I have never liked any boy or anyone bc I feel like the same thing will happen to me. He is arrested now, and will never touch me again
no fathers are the guys who stay and take care of the kid the douchebag is the dude who sticks it in and leaves not having a father figure can impact your life mine was my grandfather i was better off with him than my dad of course everybody deserves a role model of some sort it should all start when your a child.
Saxxon is wrong, some women prefer being alone at parenting than to have to explain a black eye to her children or anything of that sort... as for my self i do prefer being alone this way i can do what i want and when i wanted. For me it is called FREEDOM....!!! It is how i rear my two sons to teach them to choose the right thing
My dad means everything to me. I adore my father. You? You are a disgrace to your children. If you were my mother, I'd disown you with the quickness. This is NOT about the effects of absent fathers on single mothers, this is about the effects such an unfortunate situation has on CHILDREN. If this was just about mothers, nobody would care, trust me. You can screw up your life but don't screw the lives of others in the process.
+YellowRoseOvTx I so agree with you that this is about the children and not mothers being a mother myself. That women wasn't a good example ranting about herself. But what about those fathers in the home that are zombies not actively contributing emotionally to the childs wellbeing, actively taking an interest in their child(ren) lives, no bonding, don't offer any words of support. My father was crap, he just sat their smoking and was very intimidating. We just wondered are we going to get to bed without being hit. - as I got older I wished he meat a fatal accident. Don't see him at all now as was a useless human being - that's a lot of fathers sad to say. LUCKY YOU THAT YOU'VE HAD A GREAT DAD. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN MOST FATHERS ARE LIKE YOURS - IT'S NOT EVERYONE EXPERIENCE AS MUCH AS WE'D LIKE IT TO BE. MOST EXPERIENCES WITH FATHERS ARE DESTRUCTIVE ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. You are the minority lucky ones cos lets face it, most dads are either beating up on their kids and mothers, being very negative and aggressive - like walking on egg shells, or don't give a damn about their kids amd would rather be down the pub or in the garage. Just leave everything up to mum to raise the kids even though they are in the household. It's like men do the pleasure bit have sex then can't be bothered to raise their children adequately or appropriately. I have to shut my son's father down when he gets aggressive. I talk to him to talk to his son, show some emotion, show interest in your sons life and what he's interested in, sometimes take your child to activities. What does he do just be on his phone. Most men have some sort of personality disorder but they just don't know it and this is what contributes negatively to the home. Mothers are just trying to make everything amicable but we will become a tiger if necessary as I. If he had a vagina he'd get more pleasure out of the phone inside him than he does with his kids. Lets not kid ourselves fathers clearly need to do better. They need to mentor better and not be a child themselves. Women don't really want to raise kids on their own cos I know I had this great vision of myself and daddy raising our child and a lovely future - dashed. But he went and ruined it with his naturally destructive testosterone urge in him to do. I'm sorry it would be great to say that fathers are great but generally speaking they simply aren't. They don't hold their own as a positive well intentioned parent and they moan how they are sideline by mothers when all they have to do is lead by action. Anyone can lead by words but yet their actions speak differently. My father was crap my partners fathers was crap and I'm fighting so hard to ensure my baby boy isn't following the same which is why I'm working so damn hard. If only you knew how I have to do everything even the birds and the bees. It's not about women versus man. It's simply fathers just aren't cutting it like they should. Most mothers do (not all) but most of us fight to do our best. And don't you tell me that your mother was rubbish cos I bet she wasn't now was she - there you are. Just consider yourself very lucky but a minority.
11kwright, by all means, if a man is abusive the mother should do all she can to remove herself and her children from danger. That choice is different than a woman simply preferring that any man, abusice or not, not be involved in her children's life so she can make all parenting decisions all by herself. Also, abusive men are not the majority. This is just a statistical fact. It's also a statistical fact that children are MORE AT RISK of being physically and sexually abused when the biological father is absent and their mother is a "single parent". Education has been made more easily accessible and most ppl are not at all poor or living in crime infested, impoverish conditions that expose them to likely being victims of terrible experiences. The majority of fathers are involved with their children are a positive force. You are not the majority but you may be the majority for a certain segment of society. That is not to stereotype all poor or uneducated ppl, but there is a correlation.
Except that Lupe was talking about having to "explain a black eye" to her children due to her children's father - beating a spouse is not a good sign of being able to function or interact in a healthy way with children or other vulnerable people.
YellowRoseOfTX Pfft. I'm sure your opinion matters so much to her 😂
My brother, sister and I have to tell my mom happy Father's day cuz she had to be our mom and dad at the same time
Not possible. The maintenance responsibility toward children is the same for either parent. Women can't father and men can't gestate.
Not literally just she was the closest thing we had to a dad
I can understand that. One does the best one can with the available resources. My daughter at 17 was deathly afraid to turn out like her mother, and I had to tell her frankly, that in spite of my best efforts to make up the difference, she still needed the mother's role model and parenting. I simply was not equipped to emulate usual mothering. I encouraged her to find a mentoress. But at that age the die is pretty well cast. It helped, but not enough.
Parenting by fathers has a very different effect on children than mothers. Children often are unable to recognize its long term effects for years:
“Frank Pedersen, psychologist at the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, has found that the more actively involved a six-month-old baby has been with his or her father, the higher that baby's scores on certain tests of mental and motor developments Similarly, Ross Parke, examining children over the first eight weeks of life, has found that the more fathers were involved in the everyday repetitive (even boring) aspects of care, such as bathing, feeding, dressing, and diapering, the more socially responsive the babies were. In addition, Parke also found such babies were able to withstand stressful situations better.
In the traditional family, father has always been acknowledged to play two vital roles in the lives of his children. First, he helps his offspring develop a sense of their own competence and independence outside the powerful intimacy of the mother/child couple. Second, he contributes powerfully to the sexual identity formation of his children. These concepts are so important that they merit closer scrutiny, beginning with the idea of father as promoter of independence. P35
The Nurturing Father, Dr Kyle Pruett
idk im kinda fine without a father
Especially ‘those’ kids....
Not:
Especially ‘the’ kids....
Is that non verbal communication at it’s best to tell our kids are different.
The conversation has to change.
Too many times we the people have allow ‘those’ with non verbal communication to speak in our lives and the lives of our children; to the point that many honestly believe what they have said.
And, because ‘those’ with non verbal communication were people holding quote “powerful positions” unquote, many thought they had to believe what they were telling them.
Just imagine how many of them with non verbal communication was fed into our schools from the system to continually repeat ‘failure’ into our children minds, hearts and souls to believe what they only could have found out from reading a book or newspaper.
Those stats come not from actual going into a community or home/ house. #Jailhouse #System #Created
But, what’s amazing is how they can yearly show up doing times of election, only to fed what they have feed year in and year out, because after repeating statistics for so many years they really are convinced by now they have trained enough minds to believe in the statistics, rather than their own true abilities.
Now, imagine ‘those’ with non verbal communication ever dare to lay aside their fears, and start having ‘real’ conversations, they wouldn’t have to keep using statistics quotes against our people/children.
Especially when the ‘real’ truth lies within each and every individual.
Looking too long at what’s been missing in anything can put a hole in anyone’s heart.
So, real conversation:
What do you have that is not missing or have gone missing.
Appreciate #that!
#BE thankful and grateful and #Go #Beyond because who knows you just might #BE that 1 in a million to change statistics quotes to an actual ‘real’ live human being.
*MD
This shit real big facts
It's much more than a mother just needing help...
My father would rather be with his other sons then me
I ain’t got a dad and I’ve never been in jail.... strange
Poverty? Jail? Gangs? I really don't think so... My dad left me a week before my first birthday and when I did eventually get to meet my dad,he treated me like Shit.. I have been sexually assaulted by my "dad's" step son, I was verbally abused by my then step mum at the time.. and guess what, I have good grades, some exceeding average.. I do extra curricular activities to improve my skills and for my future cv.. I am growing up without a dad and I don't have any criminal record, I do not live in poverty, and I'm not in a gang... that women needs to get her facts straight.. I'm 13 and I know not to be influenced by stupidity and idiotic behaviour. I don't see my dad or anyone from his side of the family.
+zjironman Lmao you don't know if they've hit puberty or not dude
7 yr old video... how times have changed...
I don’t agree with her. Cause kids with both parents in there life. And they still off the hook. To me I feel like it’s more about what people’s kids are Interested in. Because now days music and social media and the people that’s around them influence them .
😢
This doesn't include the mothers that run and hide from the fathers cheating both him and the children. Telling lies to the kids in order to cover up their crime.
I have neither figure nor biological father in My life I feel so broken
"The program has [began]"
They should have it for the teenage and adult people.
How about the Dad who is there but a narcissist mother denies him access to his children. Or else children are being manipulated by their narcissist mother to harm the poor father, consider that for a second.
There you have it. Mothers are the gatekeepers for fatherly involvement. She's either the facilitator or the bouncer. And that's why the most heavily invested fathers in their children end up being the least engaged with them after she gives him the boot. ICMI'18, Nick Langford
How about you teach your children not to attach their well being and thought process on the absence of one person. I know some mother and father's who are better off being out of the children's life...so in conclusion it depends on the parenting not the gender of the person, if the mother is doing her best at parenting but the father is toxic then the father needs to be removed. If the father is doing his best to parent and the mother is toxic then she also need to be removed.
For those of us who are in special education today there put us in there because we don’t have any father’s at any of our home I’m talking about real fathers not step father They love to make money off of disabled people seriously I have been going up without my real dad for 15 years my dad have left me since 2003 and they put me there because I didn’t want anything from my real father safely I blame him for everything in my life I want to say thank you to my family for helping me with my problems I have in Society. Special ed teachers they failed me on purpose because they made sure that I will never get a real job at never go to any real
Most men don’t want to leave their kids. But it’s either do that or stay in hell with an unruly woman.
Julius Caesar Excuses.
but im still fine
I want a father figure so bad
you need to do a research on this shit? Well, kids without dads have been called bastard kids for ages, and for a good reason! I am sorry that they are unfortunate kids, but something has to be done to prevent single parenthood, yet we praise the ole single mama... a society without shame tis what it tis
why-me?? SIngle fathers raise better kids than single mothers.
+why-me?? it doesn't matter. Society doesn't give a fuck about milllions of people with destroyed lives due to single mom parenting, society only cares about being politically correct and the more criminals are raised, the worse it gets, the more PC you have to be. The more obvious it becomes the more they will silence you for thinking critically. Most powerful nation in the world torn to pieces from inside by ignorrance.
Yeah because calling them a bastard brings back their father 😒
+why-me?? a bastard is simply a child born out of wedlock... it does not define a fatherless child. In this day and age there is more and more 'bastard' children born due to a vast amount of people not giving a fuck about religion anymore. Research that!
Hi Paul, please support me by purchasing the book A Boy's Cry and The Missing Fathers on Amazon so that I can raise enough funds to have events on the topics of Child abuse and the absent fathers. Thanking you in advance.
seeing all these fatherless kids :O
Well look at me? This is a short answer
The absence of a father
1965 25% of black children were born out of wedlock now it’s almost 70%
A child without a father in the home is 5 times more likely to be poor
9 times more likely to drop out of school
20 times more likely to end up in jail
81% of teen pregnancies come from fatherless homes
80% of homeless teens come from fatherless homes
71% of the male population in the penal system fatherless homes
Four things a father provides protection provision presence praise
“But I know for a fact that had I had a father, I'd have some discipline. I'd have more confidence. Your mother cannot calm you down the way a man can. Your mother can't reassure you the way a man can. My mother couldn't show me where my manhood was. You need a man to teach you how to be a man.” Tupac
the plain truth an statistics don't lie mother's are terrible parents and shouldn't be allowed to raise kids by their selves most women are unstable and confused because of feminist movement and etc..
Steven Swaggard Sr I seriously hope your incredibly jaded, harmful, and inaccurate perception on this might mature and change in the future. Good luck, dude. Sad.
Steven Swaggard Sr what rubbish... men leave their children. how is that the fault of the mother???
Listen guys if you need a father I’m here for y’all lol ya can call me DADDY P lol
divorce tells fathers we are not needed til the courts get involved then you pay..I need receipts please for school or food or shoes...noooo mommas need make up and shoes too
*college
My dad never wanted me...
sorry to hear that
😐😐😞😞😞
Before social safety nets having a child out of wedlock was a death sentence to the mother and the child. Starvation disease and homelessness.
Sadly I do believe we need to go back to that system. Women will choose better or suffer.
They don’t care
thank LBJ and the great society for most of this.... feminism is not helping either.