This is so good. I’d love more conversations /podcast about relationships. Navigating season of singleness, dating, and pursuing a godly relationship with the right person.
I go from one trauma bond to another i feel like. I don't know how to feel about it, i am completely aware of my tendencies... I have an overwhelming urge to take care of others. Met this guy, he was soooo into me and suddenly pulled back after a month. At 25 I don't want to feel this anymore. I feel like there is someone fundamentally wrong with me but I am trying.
Often this kind of problem- awareness of the issue but not doing anything to change it- boils down to not knowing what to do differently. Literally. It sounds silly sometimes, because it sounds like the answer would be obvious just "don't get into the toxic relationship" but if you've always gotten into them before, sometimes we literally don't understand how NOT to get into it. It feels like an automatic response bc our amygdala is taking over and our prefrontal cortex is less engaged in that moment, especially for a thing like a trauma bond which gives you all those positive reinforcement endorphins initially. A big part of the trick is to slow down and go back through all the previous times you've done it, and figure out where- realistically, for you individually- you could have done something different if you knew what to do. Then go to a skills-based type of therapy and learn the skills to try different behavior. And it'll be uncomftable and hard initially, like going to the gym, but like any other skill they get easier the more you practice them. Especially if you practice them in lower-intensity emotional situations first. Build them up. Don't expect a miraculous change overnight and be patient with yourself. You know? I know you didn't ask for advice so ignore me if this was annoying lol, I just spent most of my life struggling with that kind of paralyzed awareness and I know how much it can lead to self deprication and worse. I genuinely hope you find peace and positive relationships ❤ Nothing is fundamentally wrong with you, just no one taught you how to behave differently.
"You can't hate yourself to change, you gotta love yourself to change." What a line!
❤
I have listened to
This 10 times!
This is so good. I’d love more conversations /podcast about relationships. Navigating season of singleness, dating, and pursuing a godly relationship with the right person.
Two of my favourites together.♥️♥️
I want more of this conversation!
Why was it so short?🥲 Great conversation🙏🏽
As a people pleaser and someone who is diving into EMDR therapy, this was helpful
I go from one trauma bond to another i feel like. I don't know how to feel about it, i am completely aware of my tendencies... I have an overwhelming urge to take care of others. Met this guy, he was soooo into me and suddenly pulled back after a month. At 25 I don't want to feel this anymore. I feel like there is someone fundamentally wrong with me but I am trying.
Often this kind of problem- awareness of the issue but not doing anything to change it- boils down to not knowing what to do differently. Literally. It sounds silly sometimes, because it sounds like the answer would be obvious just "don't get into the toxic relationship" but if you've always gotten into them before, sometimes we literally don't understand how NOT to get into it. It feels like an automatic response bc our amygdala is taking over and our prefrontal cortex is less engaged in that moment, especially for a thing like a trauma bond which gives you all those positive reinforcement endorphins initially.
A big part of the trick is to slow down and go back through all the previous times you've done it, and figure out where- realistically, for you individually- you could have done something different if you knew what to do. Then go to a skills-based type of therapy and learn the skills to try different behavior. And it'll be uncomftable and hard initially, like going to the gym, but like any other skill they get easier the more you practice them. Especially if you practice them in lower-intensity emotional situations first. Build them up. Don't expect a miraculous change overnight and be patient with yourself. You know?
I know you didn't ask for advice so ignore me if this was annoying lol, I just spent most of my life struggling with that kind of paralyzed awareness and I know how much it can lead to self deprication and worse.
I genuinely hope you find peace and positive relationships ❤ Nothing is fundamentally wrong with you, just no one taught you how to behave differently.
IFS!!! Yessss that’s what I do with my counselor
dropping bombs 💣💣💣💥
😭😭 the ads from Temu
Omg. This was sooo good.❤
Why so short though?
C bum thank you for the content
I can't find her
UA-cam channel
Cant hear