Cuz the reality is, men are not that important in creation of kids. It's the women who hast to carry the kid for 9 months and birth it. All men do is be a sperm donor.
More than likely for men their reasons are similar, but the main factor that they're not conscious of is their lack of effort & disconnectedness to a child bc of course they don't possess maternal instincts like women.
Good question I think they should be hassled like that too because if their sperm count lowers with age that's another reason why some women struggle to get pregnant there not putting in enough effort but they act like sex is some kind of necessity for them. If it is then they need to watch there diet, stop drinking so much, seek therapy, learn how to actually have sex or stop creating problems and just leave women alone if you hate them that much you can still exsist in a world with your enemies without constantly pestering and harassing them. That's the part there not understanding a lot of them betrayed women then they wonder why we don't want a family and kids with them?
My 3 reason: 1. I was raised by a single parent and I refuse the possibility of repeating that life. 2. Women die from child birth or pregnancy complications and there is no plan of action to change those odds. 3. As one person said the expectations of parenting between men and women are not the same. Women are called lazy for wanting a break for themselves and men are praised for taking the kids to the park.
@@alexa42490 imagine attacking men who actually do take care of their kids. Meanwhile you have men who deny their kids or walk out on them. Deadbeat fathers who don't take care of their kids at all. I guess to you they deserve a medal huh? That's some backwards ass thinking right there. smh
Look at the growing number of autistic children and how the mothers say how hard it is to live with an Autistic child. And noone knows what makes a child an Autist.
@@CordeliaWagner the growing number just means the process of diagnosis for the condition is getting better and more accessible to people with such conditions. Don't be ableist.
😮😮I retired at 64 with financial security. I like my sister’s kids, but not on a daily basis. My sister and her husband will work until their 70’s. . . . . 2. I was the oldest of 5, I hated babysitting as a kid and saw babies as a major pain. . . . . 3. Too many peopling the world.
I was a 19-year old mother who gave my daughter up for adoption. The sheer amount of hatred I faced...not just for my ORIGINAL plan to abort...but for my ultimate plan to give birth and give her away...was astounding. But here's an interesting tidbit: Clinically, I am considered to be a woman with psychopathic traits. I've been diagnosed with a personality disorder. Part of that disorder includes me being hostile, dissociated, antisocial, narcissistic, rageful, petty, and manipulative. People knew that about me long before I ever conceived and they were sure to never let me slip by without criticism. It was always about how horrible MY disorder made them feel when they were exposed to my treatment of them. I was always the enemy, always called crazy and told that my life would be restricted. Yet..... When I conceived and gave my daughter away, I was poached for "abandoning my duties as a mother." And for being weak and selfish. So, wait...you just got done spending the last 5 years telling me I'm mentally insane and now you EXPECT me to keep AND raise a child? You expect a mentally disordered mother who is unable to form emotional attachments to be the single parent of another human being? I knew from day 1 that I felt nothing for my child and I wanted her out of me. So if you think I failed my duties as a mother for being the adult and realizing that? You're probably the crazy one. News flash: not every woman who conceives and gives birth is a MOTHER.
Same. I have never been pregnant, so I've never had to make this difficult decision. I'd probably abort, adoption is not always a guarantee and I'd never want my child to think I never loved them. It would be out of love that I gave them up. I KNOW I don't want to be a parent the thought of having and raising a kid is my living nightmare. I can not be emotionally available for my neices for 2 hrs muchless 24/7 for your child. Seriously when a woman knows she knows. Not all women SHOULD have kids. I have no maternal instinct to have kids. I like silence and peace. Having kids is anything but quiet or peaceful. Plus the world is a hot mess, the educational situation, the economical situation, greedglation is a real issue, housing to too expensive. There are so many reasons
If you have ALL these psychological and emotional issues, WHY get pregnant to begin with? Since, as you've said, you and others in your life knew these issues about you long before you conceived. Why get pregnant? You're not as right as you clearly think you are! Let me be the first to thank you for giving up that child for adoption instead of aborting them or raising her yourself! It wasn't her fault that you and your boyfriend brought her into existence! So she shouldn't have to be punished because of the selfish decisions her parents made...by conceiving her, knowing full well they didn't want her in the first place! Why didn't you just abstain from $ex? Oh! Wait! That would be insane and unreasonable. But abortion would be perfectly reasonable, right? Why didn't you wait until you got your tubes tied before starting to have s€x with anybody? Prevention is ALWAYS better than cure! But I know what I'm saying is going to go over MANY people's heads!
I agree woman’s decision no matter what get criticized. Time to have compassion and understanding for woman who don’t want children, who decide to get abortion, who decide to give their child up for adoption,,,,we need to support all woman in their decisions.
You made the right choice. The choice I wish my own mother made. She kept me and I wish she hadn’t. I would have preferred to be aborted than have to live with her.
@@swiitdollskinny people are going around telling fat people how disgusting it is to be fat. If being skinny is so much fun why are skinny people so hateful toward fat people. Because the real projection comes from belief that your way of life makes you better than someone else’s.
Especially to those who work in education, I myself here 🙋🏿♀️, get treated like second class individuals for being childfree bc "we don't know what life is like until you have kids." Ain't nobody got time for that 😑
@@alexa42490 you don’t have kids but you choose to be a education professional for children. That in a way is still a form of parenting even though the kids are not yours. That’s aleast the least selfish thing I’ve heard a childfree woman say, your not a mom but in a lot of ways you see the importance of children, because if everyone decided to be childfree you wouldn’t have a job.
I’m uninterested in permanently attaching myself to a man through kids. I love my freedom If I ever change my mind there are thousands of children to adopt from. 🥂
And you don’t actually have to be tied to them. Just pump and dip. Lol, jk. But seriously. If you ever want to have your own children, find the strongest and smartest buck to get free sperm from, then disappear and have your baby overseas.
I love my unborn children SO much that I've decided to make the decision of keeping them 'unborn' as opposed to bringing them to this place where the suffering and trauma is almost too much to bear. Like the first woman said: I don't want to be here my damned self. Why would I bring a child into this?!
❤a real one!!! Exactly 🙌🏽 And to be honest with all of the dangers out here, women are reckless and selfish for creating children and making them eventually suffer through it. Look at all of the successful, black, female celebrities whose kids have offed themselves/self terminated. So many people don’t wanna be here. Yet women keep bringing them here. That’s why we’re all suffering.
@@azureavocado5195 Exactly!! Those children didn't ask to be here. Same with pets for the people who don't do their research on how much responsibility it is and then treat them badly. It's not fair.
1. The thought of being a single mother is LITERALLY my worst nightmare. 2. I'm not using my portal to bring a SINGLE soul onto this prison plant. I'm not participating in trapping another life here to be a slave to capitalism, fight for work, housing, a livable wage, recessions and living through MULTIPLE historic life events etc. I refuse!! 3. My temper. I don't have the patience to deal with crappy teachers, school bullies or all the drama of a growing child.
@@antinatalistwitch111 Yes! And it's so nice to see people waking up and realizing this! I work with some younger women at my job and there is about four of them that refuse to have kids, one even wants to find a doctor to give her a full hysterectomy, so there is no chance she can get pregnant...
I think the girl who was washing her face said something that a lot of women aren’t ready to hear. That a lot of women just want the experience of having all eyes on them at that moment and all the fun preparations that come with it. I think what it really comes down to is, it’s not that you really want to have a child, but you just want something to HAPPEN to you. You want to be planning something, looking forward to something, have somebody congratulate you, have someone dote on you, etc. Especially as a woman. You want to be entered into the sorority of motherhood because society doesn’t like women with no children. After high school, there aren’t a lot of chances and opportunities to celebrate if you’re not climbing the corporate ladder or trying to start a family. If you’re childfree or single and childfree then, unless it’s your birthday, no one has a definitive reason to celebrate you. So a lot of people feel sad and hurt when they see other people getting married, having children, buying houses, and doing well. They want the joy that comes with a brand new life experience, even if that means not doing the work to actually get it or not being prepared for the work to maintain it.
True, I've seen a lot of unattractive Women just love the attention, just love the praise that they never received in life, and no, I'm not talking trash about them. I'm just merely pointing out the facts that they told me. Like Oh, I've never got so much attention. I've never got so many compliments. Even one of my ugly guy friends, his words, not mine. Now, hear's oh, your baby's cute. She looks like you, and hes told me that it feels weird. But of course, he loves the compliments and attention because they don't get it. Also scientifically, there's some type of chemical reaction in a woman's body similar to a drug that some of them get addicted to. That's why you'll see a lot of bad Mother's repeatedly having kids.
OMG! There is an amazing book about this very topic. When I heard women (especially working class women) talk about this idea of wanting to be celebrated for being pregnant, I thought it was a lie or an exaggeration. The book is Promises I Can Keep: Why Poor Women Put Motherhood Before Marriage Book by Kathryn Edin and Maria Kefalas
Childfree here bcus my god I cannot overstate enough how much i love peace/quiet/serenity! How much i love reading by the fireplace with a glass of wine, the random nights out with friends i happened to make the day before, the random cinema dates/coffee dates.. I’m obsessed with the fact that Im not tied down (to a baby). I love the childfree life Ive created for myself. My god i love it!
Most were just irresponsible.😅 I've had tons of female friends throughout my life and I can tell you myself. No protection, no birth control, no common sense.. They got off birth control to trap a dude. The dude illegally took off the condom to trap them.😅 ect
Mother of a 13 year old her, I am a mother because I chose to be. I always wanted to be a mother. What I wasn't prepared for was "parenthood" which is completely different. Being an authoritarian is not really my thing so I struggled with those changes but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Watching my child learn and grown through her own experiences is rewarding. I'm grateful to be apart of her journey and guiding. I will say if you don't want kids don't have them but every parent isn't miserable nor do we regret having children. I regret the decisions I have made that have impacted my child negatively but never her.
1. It is hella expensive 2. I don’t want the responsibility of parenthood (it is a time-consuming and miserable job, and you may lose your identity as an individual) 3. I love my freedom and money (being financially independent is amazing and beautiful) Bonus: we are 8 BILLION people. There will be kids around anyway.
EXACTLY people act like it’s such a disservice to humanity because you decide not to have kids, it’s not that big of a deal there’s 8 billion people on this planet chill.
Reasons I am a mother to one, regretted my decision and never had any more: 1. I never fully understood the responsibility 2. Thought I'd have some support, didn't 3. Never thought past the 0-2 year mark 4. Didn't realise how hard it is 5. Thought it was something I was supposed to do. 6. I assumed his father would wake up one day and be responsible, never happed. 7. Never realised i wouldn't see my six pack again 8. I'm actually pretty selfish and being a parent highlighted this 9. I messed up my potential 10. Kid is pretty cool. I've done a relatively good job so far but never again!
The reason I am child free because of The support (emotional, financial, mental) isn’t guaranteed, fraudulent hospital/government control, and loving my sleep.
The other three reasons why lol 😂. My body sharing and losing my body, I have not came across a man I wanted to risk it all for, and yes the risk is scary from health reason and the climate of society is wayyyy too much!
I've never been interested in motherhood and can think of a million things I'd rather do that are way less stressful tbh. I didn't even like baby dolls as a kid. As an unambiguous BW I can't even explain the way people's microaggressions jump out when I say I'm childfree and happy living a life on my terms...it's undeniable how little people think of women who present the way I do (locs, long nails, bright colors, etc). they automatically assume (even if it's is not blatant) that I'm unwed, uneducated, with kids all over the place. It's super weird how so many people (black and non black) become visibly uncomfortable when they see the life I actually have vs the one they assumed.
Facts 😅& it's all just jealousy too plus You look beautiful and I get told i'm gorgeous all the time, and it's even worse,Disrespectful and disgusting when men are like. So nobody's tried to trap you. Smdh They're just mad because we can't be conquered.
Its different. You know the image of what you are is 77% of out of wedlock rate qith multiple baby dads. Unfortunate, bur qe cant say we dont understand why they are surprised.
They expect blk women to be cattle and allow the world to keep feeding off of our milk and our children. Blk women should stop giving birth…We are feeding the wolves.
I am 71 yrs old, I have 2 grown sons who are doing well and both have long term partners. Neither are married and have no plans to have children. I'm often asked if I will regret not being a grandmother, my answer is simple, it's not my call. My sons have the right to make these choices for their lives and I support their choices. I have so much respect for the women who are making choices for their lives with so much thought and care. Their is nothing selfish about it.
That first woman saying “I don’t even want to be here” hit a little too close to home lol My narcissistic mother can’t be trusted to not abuse grandkids so I don’t even feel pressure from her to ave kids with my fiancé/soon-to-be husband - even though she tries to pressure me lmao
I can relate...even though I have kids my mother only care once in a long break how they are doing my father never cared how I was doing much less grand children...I just do my best for my children at this point knowing I will be free again soon...but I do respect the choice of those who decide not to because some days I share all the opinions
My mother still needs her mother to take care of her and i dont trust the sperm donor or his tramp. I definitely was not supposed to be here and im not subjecting my kids to grandparents like this. My husband has shitty parents too.
My top 3 reasons for not wanting kids 1.) I’m selfish asf ! I like to live my life on my terms & not others. 2.) They’re too expensive & I can barely afford my lifestyle now. 3.) I don’t like the idea of the kid is mine no matter what & the man I have it by can just walk out & pop in when they want. I’d leave the kid on your doorstep & be called a deadbeat mother before you think you’re about to leave me with a kid to raise. Bonus reason : I love my freedom, I love to come & go as I please. I have a really sporadic lifestyle, I don’t do routines at all & I wanna keep it that way !
Why is it even seen as selfish (specifically for women) to not want to have kids??? Its so weird and then people will attempt to fear monger and pressure you as if a womans only purpose and road to happiness is kids....
That's just something dumb people say to shame you for making a smart decision that they failed to make.😅😅 Because anytime people called me that. I quickly pointed that they were selfish to Have kids when they're not married, selfish to have kids. When they don't have a house when they don't have insurance. Selfish to have kids when they already have kids that they don't take care 4 selfish to have kids when they have no inheritance to pass down to them like pretty much. Whatever s***** situation you're in. I'm gonna throw it in your face. And then maybe you'll learn to mind your business.😊
Cause men want kids- and if women don’t want them how they going to get them? remember men want legacies they just don’t want the responsibility that is where the woman would come in aka single mothers. The more women don’t use their talent, the more upset these men get. 🤷🏽♀️
I am childfree by choice as well as romantic relationship free 1. I already can't sleep, I get very short and frustrated easily when I don't sleep now, imagine having a kid and being aggesively sleep deprived 2. I am under no illusion that anyone would actually help me, the village to raise children no longer exists. and I do not believe that I would get a spouse who would be involved 3. They are expensive and time consuming
“Romantic Relationship Free”… you’re not going to see a lot of people talk about that. I’ve been single for years and hope for at least a few more, for multiple reasons. Not everyone should feel this way, or deny the desire to romantically connect as that can be a very beautiful thing… but I truly understand where you’re coming from with that regard. 💯
@@slimetank394 I didn't give any medical advice. I asked about an emotional state. And i let this person know that being in romantic relationships can help sleep too. I haven't given any instructions whatsoever. NOr talked about any medicinal treatments. So back off.
I suffer from depression and anxiety. So did my mother before she had me. After she did, the postpartum depression exacerbated her existing mental health issues and became post-partum psychosis. She NEVER RECOVERED HER MENTAL HEALTH. She was disabled for LIFE. My father, like most men, could NOT COPE with a woman who required long-term care and their marriage fell apart. The religion they were in (JW) is notoriously TERRIBLE about mental health issues. The country we lived in, in the Caribbean has TERRIBLE services for those needing help with mental health. Her mental illness made her unable to parent. Growing up with a mother who was sometimes too depressed to get out of bed for DAYS ON END to do basic tasks like making meals and cleaning up and I was parentifed at a very early age. By 9 I was cooking meals for myself and my stepbrother (yes, she went on to have MORE children *sigh*) and me and him walked miles by ourselves to the children's library to spend the entire day in a safe, clean place with some adult supervision, while she lay strung out. This was enough for me to NEVER want to subject an innocent child to the very high risk I have of having the same problem. Pregnancy and childbirth can irreparably change a woman's physical and mental health. They do not speak about this enough. Mental illness runs in my family. Why would I risk it? In THIS, backward, developing part of the world, without proper mental health services, especially.
Sorry I need clarification on one part you said is your step brother. Is that your step brother from your step Father’s child or your step mom’s child? Or did you mean half brother via your mom and step father.
@@MsMookalate My mom got into another relationship after my parents divorced and had a son. That relationship fell apart as well. Then she got into another relationship with another man and had a daughter. This was between several other boyfriends, especially when she was in her manic stages. When she was in her sober mind, she did one of the best things possible and tied her tubes.
I’m so sorry you had to experience that. I had a very similar upbringing myself. I was the oldest child of a deadbeat dad and depressed mother. I was parentified at a very young age too. I remember my mother crying on my shoulder when I was only 7 years old. That changes someone. I had to help raise my two younger sisters. I helped make meals, help with homework, and played Santa and Easter Bunny. I enjoyed babysitting but I enjoyed the part of the night I could hand the kids back the most. I never had the desire to be a mother because I fear turning out just like my own mother, because I also suffer with depression. I will maybe be a good daycare provider or auntie someday, but nothing more.
People are never happy with other people decisions, misery needs company. I have one child and people still asked me, when is the second one coming even do they know I almost die from bleeding ulcers two years ago and still suffering with health issues from that terrifying episode. I have a lot respect for this women, that decided to love their children so much that they don’t want them here in this trash society from one group taking rights away and holding the country hostage for their selfish beliefs.
Same here , I have only a daughter and I always get asked when am I going to give her a sister or brother and I just roll my eyes . These people don’t know that pregnancy is different for every woman
@@unionunicorn6776 I've seen this SO much in the comments I was telling a pro-natalist "we" instead of "I". Earth is Hell. Sunsets are nice, but is gang violence, etc worth it? I would NEVER want to have my kid in the neighborhood I grew up in. When I got older I moved out of Mexican gang territory (PLM & VC w/Crips right across the train tracks) into a Meth gang territory. I only moved to a smaller, safer town (lots of stray dogs, but no gun shots) early last year (I'm 42 and finally in a safe neighborhood).. And I don't want to have my kid in a small town, bcuz there simply is no real opportunity and moving out into a city is hard sometimes impossible and then what if they choose a city like New York, LA, or Chicago... You'd NEVER stop worrying about them. I worry about my cousin's kids living in Dallas all the time and they're not even mine! (I babysat them a lot at one point when they were smaller so ofc I don't want anything bad to happen to them and one is having problems paying bills in a big city, but there just is no real opportunity in these small towns.) -I'm on disability (seizures and other medical issues so opportunity doesn't know me)
I hope all these women who choose to be child free succeed in lowering the population, helping to save our earth and lowering the number of people so bosses have to pay us a living wage. This has so much potential
This demonstrates the power and importance of language. In my youth, you only ever heard “childless” or even worse, “barren.” Child free suggests choice and positivity, I’m so glad this is what we call a woman these days, when she doesn’t have children.
I too am a childfree woman. 44 years old. Never wanted them. Notice how all these women are extremely smart and articulate. It's sad that a lot of the ones having children are not a lot of the time.
I have 7! 1. I just don't like kids. Period! 2. Compared to human kids, dogs and cats are practically better in every way! 3. I don't have the money and resources for myself plus an extra person. 4. I was raised by narcissistic parents and a bullying older sister, so I want to spend the rest of my life focused on me and my recovery. 5. I have autism and I don't think I can handle a kid with autism should it pass through me. 6. I don't want to pass on my generational trauma. And 7. My abusive parents don't deserve grandkids. Amen!
Mine don’t deserve any from me either and if I did have some, they would barely see them for various reasons. My cat IS much better as well in every way. I have had her since she was 5weeks and I feel the joy with her that people claim you have with kids. I enjoy watching her grow and making sure she has the best quality in anyway I can. I wanted her so bad for years and never regretted her. I love everything about her and i miss her every second im not around her. I never need a “break” from her. She’s the best and I already feel weird knowing she won’t live as long as i do so I spend as much time with her as i can while she is here. I wish i could take her everywhere with me. Especially travels. I can’t imagine saying this or feeling this way about another human child.
This is scary! This is me and my reasons to the T. Like every single one!!! I read and agreed with most reason in the video and in the comments, but your list gave me goosbumps. Not one was off. God bless you!!!!! It feels so amazing and validating to know I'm not alone in not wanting kids ever!!! ❤😊
@@keishaclark2774 WOW! Small world! I'm glad I'm not the only one either! Hope you have a great rest of your life focused on yourself! Best of luck from one online stranger to another!
Being a mother holds a whole lot more responsibility than being a father. You are expected to constantly give and sacrifice for the sake of everything else. I love my peace, freedom, sleep too much to commit to parenthood.
The women at the 8min mark about the all the "baby" things....I believe that's what 75% of women who want/have children envision is all those cute "baby" things and then the reality of having an actual human hits .....and they find out it was not for them. ....that's why they hit the repeat button so many times.
Since being child free, I'm free to quit jobs i hate and not be forced to work for SHXT because i have kids, free to do what i want, when i want, I'm free to sleep in!! Hubby and I get to take care of ourselves! We get to baby each other. All of my money is MY MONEY! i can go shopping and all the money i make is play,play money (fashion, travel, fun times), body isn't ruined, love my autonomy, i can divorce and leave anyone and not be attached to them or their dumb family through kids!! Once am done with you am done with you and your family!! I get sleep in on weekends, weekdays, i can watch cartoons as much as i want to, hell I CAN BE A BIG KID MYSELF!! SO MUCH FREEDOM IN NOT HAVING KIDS!!
I am soooo happy that more women are starting to speak on this matter. LOL about to be 33 and thought I was the only one who felt this way about having kids!
It’s really scary and a huge responsibility to be a parent. I respect parents, but I think woman who decide not to have kids should also be respected and not questioned.
I’m very much *ON THE FENCE.* I love how the majority of my concerns have been voiced throughout the stitches, and my greatest concern is bringing a child into this world to live a life of *pain, danger, and struggle,* no matter what you do… and I won’t be able to save them every time. 😔
If you are ON THE FENCE, then you really don't want children. You are just afraid not to have them because of the societal pressure. Having children should be something you want with all your heart and from the depths of your soul. People who really want kids are never "on the fence."
@@Childfree334 I mean, people can be on the fence about a lot of things. Parenthood is a calling. Just because you say you’re on the fence doesn’t mean it’s an absolute NO. You’re just on the fence at this particular moment in time. Just don’t have kids when you’re at the “on the fence” stage. Because if we can say that people who are ambivalent don’t want kids, what about people that swore up and down they would never have kids, had them, and love the choice they made? See, you’re one of the folks people can’t listen to on the Internet. Just let folks live and let live.
The question should not be "why don't you want to have children?". It should be "do you want to be a mother?". Everyone should think long and hard on that - what makes a mother? What makes a good mother? Am I willing/able to do what it takes?
My primary reasons for being childfree is personal freedom & autonomy, getting a copious amount of sleep, peace & quiet, getting myself ready in the morning for work, going out on a whim whether planned or unplanned, grocery shopping & cooking for myself, clean home, numerous amount of time to study/work on my crafts & hobbies, going to the gym/doing yoga/bike riding, shopping for nice clothes, getting my hair & nails done, among other mental health & self-care fulfilments to relieve stress of a long work week. The list goes on, but I must say that being CF is worth it & not worth being jealous, sad, or regretful about. #YouDoYou
Here's my reasons 1. I don't want to continue the dysfunctional cycle for another generation like my parents did with me and my brother 2. I don't feel the need to become a parent 3. Having a child is expensive I grew up poor I don't want to end up like my mother who struggled taking care of me and my brother by herself because my father was in and out of jail
Parenting is a hard job and not everybody wants to do it. We need to get rid of the stigma that not wanting children as bad. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be child free. I applaud these women for knowing that they don’t wanna be parents.
Every single comment in this series IS VALID.....trust me! BUT at 61 years old I'm glad I have a 28 year old daughter as my bestie. Girls, the sacrifice is real and I'm happy that ALL of you are thinking about the liabilities of having children. WELL DONE! 😊😊
The lady scrolling to number 3 was HILARIOUS! She had so many reasons. 😂😂😂😂😂 I too chose to be childless and agree with everyone who gave their reasons. Best decision of my life. ❤
I'm a very irresponsible person, I live very carelessly and carefree. I have two cats, but I very rarely have to do much with them. They mostly go out and play in the woods and come back whenever for food and sleep. I'm not rich or anything but I'm very comfortable and my job is easy. I absolutely love my life very much.
Bcuz of the cats next door ALWAYS fighting each other and coming into my yard and bothering my cats my poor babies don't want to go outside anymore which is even more sad when you put in the good weather :(
I'm child free and plan to stay that way. My top two reasons are the dance at most people 1. Financial and 2. It's time consuming. But for me, 3. I'm not close to my family, and I grew up an only child. I really believe in "it takes a village", so raising kids ALL on my own would drain me SO bad mentally and physically.
My top 3 reasons: 1) this world is a bad place and no kid deserves to be raised in it. Danger is EVERYWHERE and I REFUSE to risk a child's safety or wellbeing. Plus the future looks GRIM with the planet heating up and AI etc. 2) As a psychologist I know kids put a HUGE amount of strain into a relationship. No 1 reason of marital conflict is kids. Not money, not infidelity, not incompatibility. KIDS. And I'm not risking losing the love of my life because a kid came between us. And, last but not least, 3) Motherhood is a DEMANDING job which will inevitably put a whole lot more stress and unhappiness in my life. And my ONLY goal in life is to make it through as stress-free and happy as humanly possible. Having kids goes 100% against that goal.
I agree with women who said that the level field between women and men is no where near equal when it comes to raising kids. And I will probably end up resenting my partner in the end!
My son has battled cancer since 5 months old and now he is 22 months old. We are living in hospice care because there is no cure for him. So I will be living a child free life soon. Idk how I could chance not having a healthy baby again so I'm looking into maybe living the child free life after he passes. He's been sooo much extra work. I love him, but I have gave up everything for him including my sanity. What a tragedy. I brought him into this world and all he knows is suffering from cancer.
I'm so sorry. I lost my baby to trisomy 13 half way through my pregnancy. Everybody else in this situation seems to go on to have another baby but I am pretty sure I am not going to take my chances again. I can't control what happens to my children and I can't go through that pain again. And most importantly I can't bring another child of mine into this world to suffer
My 3 main reasons for being childfree: 1. My Physical Health - I have 2 different areas of my body that give me chronic pain and will for the rest of my life and I have barely enough energy to look after myself let alone another human. 2. I'm an Introvert - I LOVE my alone time, people just in general stress me out. 3. The World we live in - The suffering, Global Warming, War, Poverty and everything else. I am of the opinion that it would be selfish to bring a child into this world the way it is at this current time because the world is bat sh*t crazy. I'm actually glad to see that there are other people who are seeing what I'm seeing when it comes to the societal pressure of having kids and how much we are being lied to about parenthood. I also agree with the girl from the first stitch I didn't ask to be here and I want off this hell ride already and I'm only 26.
1. never had the desire 2. too hard to find a financially responsible, emotionally available man 3. as the one woman said, my life has become so peaceful after 22 years of abuse (23 year old now, almost 24) and i cannot imagine intentionally adding more chaos to my life when the slightest inconvenience can still piss me off
I just made 44 and still. Childless. I was made to believe like a lot of us that you are not a woman if you do not have children. They dont tell you all of the pros and cons that comes with this. I was born with diabetes. In my younger life I was pregnant 3 times. All miscarriages. Never married. After the 3rd time and I wasn't trying, I looked at me harder and told myself that I needed to do better. Financially I'm not good. I been seen I would be doing this by myself. Looking for my momma to help all the time was selfish because my daddy wasn't going to help. And don't get me started on the the daddy that would been. Smh. I left it alone and glad I was blessed to be able to. The majority of us dont get this. I dont look down on anyone that is choosing to do this. Stop judging. The majority would chose different if they could do it all over again truth be told. 👀
Everyone who says I’m not a woman because I don’t have any children. I tell them: “in that case I’m a man”. 😂 They then always look at me very strange. OMG, I hate that statement that I am not a real woman because I’m not a mother. 😡
@@SN-bl6xmWould it help to explain that narcissistic men often see female partners as a maternal figure ... And there's a whole complex process they go through with women trying to separate from their original parent who never let them be their own person... They get with someone and discard them to fulfill this "getting away from mommy" thing. I think other non narc men project what they wish their mothers were or something. A lot of people are very mentally unwell. Check out Prof Sam Vaknin for more info on the narc mother thing.
I'm cheering for all of you. I became a mom at 17. It was very stressful. Don't get me wrong, I love my son very much However I knew after I had him, I wasn't going to do it again UNLESS I met a good stable high earning spouse. That never happened. I struggled with trauma in my childhood it made things extremely difficult on top of all the regular stressors. My son is 32. I'm happy I decided not to have more. It was a serious struggle for both of us. I think it's wonderful that these people know what they want or are capable of. Don't let anyone put you down for not reproducing! You're making he right decision!!
1. mental health issues that affect and limit my life day to day. 2. I was raised by an abusive father and have trauma surrounding men and relationships with men. 3. Fear of childbirth
So I decided to make a list of why I'm childfree. Up to 103 so far. Decided to be childfree since I was 12. Don't even ask me why I was thinking about that 😂 but I'm glad that I did. It's been 17 years and ain't changed my mind since. 17 years down, forever to go 🤌🏿
I didn’t set out to be child free, but it was the result of my life circumstances and choices. I’ve never wanted to have a child with the wrong person (ie someone who won’t be heavily involved in the child’s life) and since I’ve never met the right person, I find myself where I am today. That said, I’m not sad about not having kids the way some women would at my age (late 40s). So I am not child free by choice, but I’m not upset about it. My anxiety would be thru the roof imagining the future my child would have, the financial responsibilities, etc. All in all, I think it was the right path for me.
My parents had three kids, and we were dirt poor no matter how hard they tried. In today's economic atmosphere that would be 900,000. dollars over 18 years. We never had active shooter drills or concerns for climate change. My father died from stress between his stress over his adult children (Siblings with issues) and taking care of his mom who needed healthcare living was so expensive, he never had a break, and the final burden of having to take care of his mom was too much he died at 53.
I'm 39 and I'm childfree by choice and I'm happy being childfree the best decision I had made when I was a teenager and I don't regret that decision at all
My Top 3 reasons why I choose to be childfree as a man: 1. Children are too expensive AF 2. Too much responsibility in childcare 3. This is a disgusting and cruel world Nope, I DON'T WANT children!!!!!!🤨🤨🤨🤨💯
If I weren't craving my space and autonomy so much _(also challenged with neurodivergence),_ I would consider adoption/ fostering since the child is already here. I believe more healthy people should consider this _(esp. if their concerns are environmental or pregnancy/childbirth)_ vs. entertaining the desire to have biological children. Adoption costs should also be more reasonable.
When my son was 7 he pulled me aside and said, "mom, you and dad are doing a good job with me and my brother, BUT, I never want to have kids". I asked him why? and he said, "I want to be a scientist and I want to place all my focus and efforts into that". He's 18 now, started University this fall and is majoring in Physics.
Yeah, why doesn't anyone ever ask men why they're child free? All the pressure is dumped on women to defend their reasons for not wanting children.
Cuz the reality is, men are not that important in creation of kids. It's the women who hast to carry the kid for 9 months and birth it. All men do is be a sperm donor.
I unfortunately most men are "childfree" whether they have kids are not.
More than likely for men their reasons are similar, but the main factor that they're not conscious of is their lack of effort & disconnectedness to a child bc of course they don't possess maternal instincts like women.
Good question I think they should be hassled like that too because if their sperm count lowers with age that's another reason why some women struggle to get pregnant there not putting in enough effort but they act like sex is some kind of necessity for them.
If it is then they need to watch there diet, stop drinking so much, seek therapy, learn how to actually have sex or stop creating problems and just leave women alone if you hate them that much you can still exsist in a world with your enemies without constantly pestering and harassing them. That's the part there not understanding a lot of them betrayed women then they wonder why we don't want a family and kids with them?
@@lacylamere9717 That part. SMH.
“I don’t even want to be here”…. That’s is the most wonderful explanation. I’m not thinking of self harm but if given the option I would just go.
Facts
For real
This might be the best and realest reason that I've heard.
I live with the idea playing in my head that existence itself is pain.
Same.
My 3 reason: 1. I was raised by a single parent and I refuse the possibility of repeating that life. 2. Women die from child birth or pregnancy complications and there is no plan of action to change those odds. 3. As one person said the expectations of parenting between men and women are not the same. Women are called lazy for wanting a break for themselves and men are praised for taking the kids to the park.
The chances of dying from childbirth is rare stupid! 😡
It’s number 1 for me. It was traumatizing to grow up like that.
Basically men are praised for doing the bare minimum of what moms do the majority of
I agree with all of that along with I. Love my hot body and I'm not sacrificing s*** for nobody and I don't have to.
@@alexa42490 imagine attacking men who actually do take care of their kids. Meanwhile you have men who deny their kids or walk out on them. Deadbeat fathers who don't take care of their kids at all. I guess to you they deserve a medal huh? That's some backwards ass thinking right there. smh
1. Cant predict the man
2. Cant predict the child
3. Cant predict the world
🎉😅
Look at the growing number of autistic children and how the mothers say how hard it is to live with an Autistic child.
And noone knows what makes a child an Autist.
Love this
@@CordeliaWagner the growing number just means the process of diagnosis for the condition is getting better and more accessible to people with such conditions. Don't be ableist.
🎯🎯🎯
😮😮I retired at 64 with financial security. I like my sister’s kids, but not on a daily basis. My sister and her husband will work until their 70’s. . . . . 2. I was the oldest of 5, I hated babysitting as a kid and saw babies as a major pain. . . . . 3. Too many peopling the world.
I was a 19-year old mother who gave my daughter up for adoption. The sheer amount of hatred I faced...not just for my ORIGINAL plan to abort...but for my ultimate plan to give birth and give her away...was astounding.
But here's an interesting tidbit: Clinically, I am considered to be a woman with psychopathic traits. I've been diagnosed with a personality disorder. Part of that disorder includes me being hostile, dissociated, antisocial, narcissistic, rageful, petty, and manipulative. People knew that about me long before I ever conceived and they were sure to never let me slip by without criticism.
It was always about how horrible MY disorder made them feel when they were exposed to my treatment of them. I was always the enemy, always called crazy and told that my life would be restricted. Yet.....
When I conceived and gave my daughter away, I was poached for "abandoning my duties as a mother." And for being weak and selfish. So, wait...you just got done spending the last 5 years telling me I'm mentally insane and now you EXPECT me to keep AND raise a child? You expect a mentally disordered mother who is unable to form emotional attachments to be the single parent of another human being?
I knew from day 1 that I felt nothing for my child and I wanted her out of me. So if you think I failed my duties as a mother for being the adult and realizing that? You're probably the crazy one. News flash: not every woman who conceives and gives birth is a MOTHER.
Well said
Same. I have never been pregnant, so I've never had to make this difficult decision. I'd probably abort, adoption is not always a guarantee and I'd never want my child to think I never loved them. It would be out of love that I gave them up. I KNOW I don't want to be a parent the thought of having and raising a kid is my living nightmare. I can not be emotionally available for my neices for 2 hrs muchless 24/7 for your child. Seriously when a woman knows she knows. Not all women SHOULD have kids. I have no maternal instinct to have kids. I like silence and peace. Having kids is anything but quiet or peaceful. Plus the world is a hot mess, the educational situation, the economical situation, greedglation is a real issue, housing to too expensive. There are so many reasons
If you have ALL these psychological and emotional issues, WHY get pregnant to begin with? Since, as you've said, you and others in your life knew these issues about you long before you conceived. Why get pregnant? You're not as right as you clearly think you are!
Let me be the first to thank you for giving up that child for adoption instead of aborting them or raising her yourself! It wasn't her fault that you and your boyfriend brought her into existence! So she shouldn't have to be punished because of the selfish decisions her parents made...by conceiving her, knowing full well they didn't want her in the first place!
Why didn't you just abstain from $ex? Oh! Wait! That would be insane and unreasonable. But abortion would be perfectly reasonable, right? Why didn't you wait until you got your tubes tied before starting to have s€x with anybody? Prevention is ALWAYS better than cure! But I know what I'm saying is going to go over MANY people's heads!
I agree woman’s decision no matter what get criticized. Time to have compassion and understanding for woman who don’t want children, who decide to get abortion, who decide to give their child up for adoption,,,,we need to support all woman in their decisions.
You made the right choice. The choice I wish my own mother made. She kept me and I wish she hadn’t. I would have preferred to be aborted than have to live with her.
I hate it when some people shame other's for not wanting to have kids.
It’s projection. Happy people don’t shame others
@@swiitdollaren’t they the ones shaming us, show me one videos where women with children are shaming women who don’t have them. Where it’s at.
@@swiitdollskinny people are going around telling fat people how disgusting it is to be fat. If being skinny is so much fun why are skinny people so hateful toward fat people. Because the real projection comes from belief that your way of life makes you better than someone else’s.
Especially to those who work in education, I myself here 🙋🏿♀️, get treated like second class individuals for being childfree bc "we don't know what life is like until you have kids." Ain't nobody got time for that 😑
@@alexa42490 you don’t have kids but you choose to be a education professional for children. That in a way is still a form of parenting even though the kids are not yours. That’s aleast the least selfish thing I’ve heard a childfree woman say, your not a mom but in a lot of ways you see the importance of children, because if everyone decided to be childfree you wouldn’t have a job.
I don’t want to ruin my body or my bank account.
Preach 😊
Exactly same reason 😊
I agree
Preach! 💯
preach it sis! I take pride in my high metabolism and my current body shape and the fact that I can eat whatever I want without gaining weight.
1. Kids… in this economy???
2. Freedom
3. I already have plenty on nieces and nephews I love and care deeply about
THIS!!
Have a drink for me luv, keep doing you!!!
These were my reasons at 25...still the same reasons at 41.
thank you for your honesty.
I’m uninterested in permanently attaching myself to a man through kids.
I love my freedom
If I ever change my mind there are thousands of children to adopt from. 🥂
I feel the same damn way
Exactly
I would love to adopt a black girl and get them therapy! Black girls NEED to be loved and I just want to pour into them!
And you don’t actually have to be tied to them. Just pump and dip. Lol, jk.
But seriously. If you ever want to have your own children, find the strongest and smartest buck to get free sperm from, then disappear and have your baby overseas.
All good points.
1: Freewill and Evil exist
2: I'm not creating a new slave for the system
3: I'm convinced Earth is HELL
It is
Halfway house to hell. The day of judgement when the graves are opened and we stand before God is the real Hell
Facts, this place is a Hellish Zoo
yep :/
I respect these women for being true to themselves and for being so responsible.
I love my unborn children SO much that I've decided to make the decision of keeping them 'unborn' as opposed to bringing them to this place where the suffering and trauma is almost too much to bear.
Like the first woman said: I don't want to be here my damned self. Why would I bring a child into this?!
❤a real one!!! Exactly 🙌🏽
And to be honest with all of the dangers out here, women are reckless and selfish for creating children and making them eventually suffer through it.
Look at all of the successful, black, female celebrities whose kids have offed themselves/self terminated.
So many people don’t wanna be here.
Yet women keep bringing them here.
That’s why we’re all suffering.
@@azureavocado5195 Exactly!! Those children didn't ask to be here. Same with pets for the people who don't do their research on how much responsibility it is and then treat them badly. It's not fair.
😂😂😂
I never been pregnant. But I rather my children to not have my DNA. Mostly because my family has bad blood.
Great decision!!! You are better than most moms who know the harsh realities of life and still selfishly decide to have kids.
The overall underlying reasons is that people just want the freedom
AUTONOMY!
Nothing wrong with that 😆
@@mbrownsugar1there are parents in their 40s right now who are living their best lives with adult children.
@@lane89and ???
@@kirn3afek and we get our freedom after giving to ours.
I never knew there were a lot of childfree women. Thank God I have people to relate to. 😩
1. The thought of being a single mother is LITERALLY my worst nightmare. 2. I'm not using my portal to bring a SINGLE soul onto this prison plant. I'm not participating in trapping another life here to be a slave to capitalism, fight for work, housing, a livable wage, recessions and living through MULTIPLE historic life events etc. I refuse!! 3. My temper. I don't have the patience to deal with crappy teachers, school bullies or all the drama of a growing child.
This 🎯
Heavy on #2
We must be twins...
Ase #2 periodt. This earth is one big prison.
@@antinatalistwitch111 Yes! And it's so nice to see people waking up and realizing this! I work with some younger women at my job and there is about four of them that refuse to have kids, one even wants to find a doctor to give her a full hysterectomy, so there is no chance she can get pregnant...
I think the girl who was washing her face said something that a lot of women aren’t ready to hear.
That a lot of women just want the experience of having all eyes on them at that moment and all the fun preparations that come with it. I think what it really comes down to is, it’s not that you really want to have a child, but you just want something to HAPPEN to you. You want to be planning something, looking forward to something, have somebody congratulate you, have someone dote on you, etc. Especially as a woman. You want to be entered into the sorority of motherhood because society doesn’t like women with no children.
After high school, there aren’t a lot of chances and opportunities to celebrate if you’re not climbing the corporate ladder or trying to start a family. If you’re childfree or single and childfree then, unless it’s your birthday, no one has a definitive reason to celebrate you. So a lot of people feel sad and hurt when they see other people getting married, having children, buying houses, and doing well. They want the joy that comes with a brand new life experience, even if that means not doing the work to actually get it or not being prepared for the work to maintain it.
True, I've seen a lot of unattractive Women just love the attention, just love the praise that they never received in life, and no, I'm not talking trash about them. I'm just merely pointing out the facts that they told me. Like Oh, I've never got so much attention. I've never got so many compliments. Even one of my ugly guy friends, his words, not mine. Now, hear's oh, your baby's cute. She looks like you, and hes told me that it feels weird. But of course, he loves the compliments and attention because they don't get it. Also scientifically, there's some type of chemical reaction in a woman's body similar to a drug that some of them get addicted to. That's why you'll see a lot of bad Mother's repeatedly having kids.
Yes I've always felt that most women who get pregnant (repeatedly) just love the attention.
OMG! There is an amazing book about this very topic. When I heard women (especially working class women) talk about this idea of wanting to be celebrated for being pregnant, I thought it was a lie or an exaggeration. The book is Promises I Can Keep: Why Poor Women Put Motherhood Before Marriage
Book by Kathryn Edin and Maria Kefalas
@@omowhanre Thanks for the book recommendation!
@@saramatthews7159absolutely. 😳
Don't need 3 reasons....only 1 reason... I DON'T WANT THEM!!!
That’s it ! That’s all!
Childfree here bcus my god I cannot overstate enough how much i love peace/quiet/serenity! How much i love reading by the fireplace with a glass of wine, the random nights out with friends i happened to make the day before, the random cinema dates/coffee dates.. I’m obsessed with the fact that Im not tied down (to a baby). I love the childfree life Ive created for myself. My god i love it!
You've convinced me. My next place is getting a fireplace. Electric or real, I miss doing what you described.
returning home from work to a QUIET apartment is one of the small (big) pleasures in life
And being able to sleep in
@olgag9901 yess I started working again after 5 months and coming home and just laying on the couch in peace felt so good!
People need to understand that someone's decision to not have children is not a criticism of your decision to have children.
I'd like to see women who have children explain why they had or will have children.
Most were trapped into one and they don’t want them either. There is a whole Facebook page of women that regret having children
Most were just irresponsible.😅 I've had tons of female friends throughout my life and I can tell you myself. No protection, no birth control, no common sense.. They got off birth control to trap a dude. The dude illegally took off the condom to trap them.😅 ect
All my friends who have children told me they wouldn’t have any children if they could go back! There you got it! 😉
I'd like to see men justify their needs to make women have children.
Mother of a 13 year old her, I am a mother because I chose to be. I always wanted to be a mother.
What I wasn't prepared for was "parenthood" which is completely different. Being an authoritarian is not really my thing so I struggled with those changes but I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Watching my child learn and grown through her own experiences is rewarding. I'm grateful to be apart of her journey and guiding.
I will say if you don't want kids don't have them but every parent isn't miserable nor do we regret having children. I regret the decisions I have made that have impacted my child negatively but never her.
1. It is hella expensive
2. I don’t want the responsibility of parenthood (it is a time-consuming and miserable job, and you may lose your identity as an individual)
3. I love my freedom and money (being financially independent is amazing and beautiful)
Bonus: we are 8 BILLION people. There will be kids around anyway.
EXACTLY people act like it’s such a disservice to humanity because you decide not to have kids, it’s not that big of a deal there’s 8 billion people on this planet chill.
I love that it’s the younger generation that’s actually RESPONSIBLE!
Reasons I am a mother to one, regretted my decision and never had any more:
1. I never fully understood the responsibility
2. Thought I'd have some support, didn't
3. Never thought past the 0-2 year mark
4. Didn't realise how hard it is
5. Thought it was something I was supposed to do.
6. I assumed his father would wake up one day and be responsible, never happed.
7. Never realised i wouldn't see my six pack again
8. I'm actually pretty selfish and being a parent highlighted this
9. I messed up my potential
10. Kid is pretty cool. I've done a relatively good job so far but never again!
thank you for your honesty. Wishing you all the best
Thank you for sharing!
🫶🏼
Your child will see you to the end. Your love is an investment
Give the kid to dad and bail, pay child support but live your life.
I'm 40 I love my money, time and freedom.
The reason I am child free because of The support (emotional, financial, mental) isn’t guaranteed, fraudulent hospital/government control, and loving my sleep.
The other three reasons why lol 😂. My body sharing and losing my body, I have not came across a man I wanted to risk it all for, and yes the risk is scary from health reason and the climate of society is wayyyy too much!
Sharing my body with a baby is so wild to me!!! 🤣
I have lots more reasons but yes that’s a few. If this society, the men and climate change then I would do it maybe 🤔 😂
USA is a third world country. No public healthcare (= evil communism) , no maternity leave (= evil communism).
I've never been interested in motherhood and can think of a million things I'd rather do that are way less stressful tbh. I didn't even like baby dolls as a kid. As an unambiguous BW I can't even explain the way people's microaggressions jump out when I say I'm childfree and happy living a life on my terms...it's undeniable how little people think of women who present the way I do (locs, long nails, bright colors, etc). they automatically assume (even if it's is not blatant) that I'm unwed, uneducated, with kids all over the place. It's super weird how so many people (black and non black) become visibly uncomfortable when they see the life I actually have vs the one they assumed.
Facts 😅& it's all just jealousy too plus You look beautiful and I get told i'm gorgeous all the time, and it's even worse,Disrespectful and disgusting when men are like. So nobody's tried to trap you. Smdh They're just mad because we can't be conquered.
Same 😢💯
Its different. You know the image of what you are is 77% of out of wedlock rate qith multiple baby dads. Unfortunate, bur qe cant say we dont understand why they are surprised.
Wtf did you type? Can you type it again in actual English? Damn!
They expect blk women to be cattle and allow the world to keep feeding off of our milk and our children. Blk women should stop giving birth…We are feeding the wolves.
🙋🏽♀️ Child free 32 year old here. (1) Im not married; (2) Too expensive; (3) I ❤ my freedom & prioritizing me.
Omg same and I’ll be 32 in 2days♌️
I am 71 yrs old, I have 2 grown sons who are doing well and both have long term partners. Neither are married and have no plans to have children. I'm often asked if I will regret not being a grandmother, my answer is simple, it's not my call. My sons have the right to make these choices for their lives and I support their choices. I have so much respect for the women who are making choices for their lives with so much thought and care. Their is nothing selfish about it.
That first woman saying “I don’t even want to be here” hit a little too close to home lol
My narcissistic mother can’t be trusted to not abuse grandkids so I don’t even feel pressure from her to ave kids with my fiancé/soon-to-be husband - even though she tries to pressure me lmao
Same 😅 I actually say that statement also to people...& my mother too. Is a psychotic b**** that I would not even let watch my kids on TV.😅
I can relate...even though I have kids my mother only care once in a long break how they are doing my father never cared how I was doing much less grand children...I just do my best for my children at this point knowing I will be free again soon...but I do respect the choice of those who decide not to because some days I share all the opinions
My mother still needs her mother to take care of her and i dont trust the sperm donor or his tramp. I definitely was not supposed to be here and im not subjecting my kids to grandparents like this. My husband has shitty parents too.
1. I enjoy my money/freedom/space/clean house
2. I’m not willing to be a single parent…married or not
3. I’ve never had a desire to be a mom 🤷🏽♀️
My top 3 reasons for not wanting kids
1.) I’m selfish asf ! I like to live my life on my terms & not others.
2.) They’re too expensive & I can barely afford my lifestyle now.
3.) I don’t like the idea of the kid is mine no matter what & the man I have it by can just walk out & pop in when they want. I’d leave the kid on your doorstep & be called a deadbeat mother before you think you’re about to leave me with a kid to raise.
Bonus reason : I love my freedom, I love to come & go as I please. I have a really sporadic lifestyle, I don’t do routines at all & I wanna keep it that way !
I don't like routines either. I can't imagine myself having to do the school run day after day.. yikes.
The only reason that matters: I just don’t want them 🤷🏽♀️
Why is it even seen as selfish (specifically for women) to not want to have kids???
Its so weird and then people will attempt to fear monger and pressure you as if a womans only purpose and road to happiness is kids....
That's just something dumb people say to shame you for making a smart decision that they failed to make.😅😅 Because anytime people called me that. I quickly pointed that they were selfish to Have kids when they're not married, selfish to have kids. When they don't have a house when they don't have insurance. Selfish to have kids when they already have kids that they don't take care 4 selfish to have kids when they have no inheritance to pass down to them like pretty much. Whatever s***** situation you're in. I'm gonna throw it in your face. And then maybe you'll learn to mind your business.😊
Looking at mothers and how tired they always look in real life: happy that I had my Sterilisation.
I think it’s selfish to have children in todays time. The world is not a nice place.
Cause men want kids- and if women don’t want them how they going to get them? remember men want legacies they just don’t want the responsibility that is where the woman would come in aka single mothers. The more women don’t use their talent, the more upset these men get. 🤷🏽♀️
it's easier to control women If they are tied to children, it has a negative impact on their health, finances, everything
I am childfree by choice as well as romantic relationship free
1. I already can't sleep, I get very short and frustrated easily when I don't sleep now, imagine having a kid and being aggesively sleep deprived
2. I am under no illusion that anyone would actually help me, the village to raise children no longer exists. and I do not believe that I would get a spouse who would be involved
3. They are expensive and time consuming
“Romantic Relationship Free”… you’re not going to see a lot of people talk about that. I’ve been single for years and hope for at least a few more, for multiple reasons. Not everyone should feel this way, or deny the desire to romantically connect as that can be a very beautiful thing… but I truly understand where you’re coming from with that regard. 💯
Are u anxious? Romance might help u sleep actually
@@TEWMUCHnope, then she would end up with the nans POVERTY SEEDS 🦍🤰🏿💨💨💨💨💨🪳🦟🪳🪰🦟🦟
@@TEWMUCH leave medical advice for the professionals
@@slimetank394 I didn't give any medical advice. I asked about an emotional state. And i let this person know that being in romantic relationships can help sleep too. I haven't given any instructions whatsoever. NOr talked about any medicinal treatments. So back off.
I suffer from depression and anxiety. So did my mother before she had me. After she did, the postpartum depression exacerbated her existing mental health issues and became post-partum psychosis. She NEVER RECOVERED HER MENTAL HEALTH. She was disabled for LIFE. My father, like most men, could NOT COPE with a woman who required long-term care and their marriage fell apart. The religion they were in (JW) is notoriously TERRIBLE about mental health issues. The country we lived in, in the Caribbean has TERRIBLE services for those needing help with mental health. Her mental illness made her unable to parent. Growing up with a mother who was sometimes too depressed to get out of bed for DAYS ON END to do basic tasks like making meals and cleaning up and I was parentifed at a very early age. By 9 I was cooking meals for myself and my stepbrother (yes, she went on to have MORE children *sigh*) and me and him walked miles by ourselves to the children's library to spend the entire day in a safe, clean place with some adult supervision, while she lay strung out. This was enough for me to NEVER want to subject an innocent child to the very high risk I have of having the same problem. Pregnancy and childbirth can irreparably change a woman's physical and mental health. They do not speak about this enough. Mental illness runs in my family. Why would I risk it? In THIS, backward, developing part of the world, without proper mental health services, especially.
Sorry I need clarification on one part you said is your step brother. Is that your step brother from your step Father’s child or your step mom’s child? Or did you mean half brother via your mom and step father.
@@MsMookalate My mom got into another relationship after my parents divorced and had a son. That relationship fell apart as well. Then she got into another relationship with another man and had a daughter. This was between several other boyfriends, especially when she was in her manic stages. When she was in her sober mind, she did one of the best things possible and tied her tubes.
I’m so sorry you had to experience that. I had a very similar upbringing myself. I was the oldest child of a deadbeat dad and depressed mother. I was parentified at a very young age too. I remember my mother crying on my shoulder when I was only 7 years old. That changes someone. I had to help raise my two younger sisters. I helped make meals, help with homework, and played Santa and Easter Bunny. I enjoyed babysitting but I enjoyed the part of the night I could hand the kids back the most. I never had the desire to be a mother because I fear turning out just like my own mother, because I also suffer with depression. I will maybe be a good daycare provider or auntie someday, but nothing more.
@@alieninthecaribbean Those are half siblings not step siblings. I have half brothers all w/different moms.. we're not close. at all.
People are never happy with other people decisions, misery needs company.
I have one child and people still asked me, when is the second one coming even do they know I almost die from bleeding ulcers two years ago and still suffering with health issues from that terrifying episode.
I have a lot respect for this women, that decided to love their children so much that they don’t want them here in this trash society from one group taking rights away and holding the country hostage for their selfish beliefs.
Did you get sterilized?
@@kstayblessedyes
Same here , I have only a daughter and I always get asked when am I going to give her a sister or brother and I just roll my eyes . These people don’t know that pregnancy is different for every woman
Yes. I love my unborn children so much I want better for them than this hell of a place we call earth.
@@unionunicorn6776 I've seen this SO much in the comments I was telling a pro-natalist "we" instead of "I". Earth is Hell. Sunsets are nice, but is gang violence, etc worth it? I would NEVER want to have my kid in the neighborhood I grew up in. When I got older I moved out of Mexican gang territory (PLM & VC w/Crips right across the train tracks) into a Meth gang territory. I only moved to a smaller, safer town (lots of stray dogs, but no gun shots) early last year (I'm 42 and finally in a safe neighborhood).. And I don't want to have my kid in a small town, bcuz there simply is no real opportunity and moving out into a city is hard sometimes impossible and then what if they choose a city like New York, LA, or Chicago... You'd NEVER stop worrying about them. I worry about my cousin's kids living in Dallas all the time and they're not even mine! (I babysat them a lot at one point when they were smaller so ofc I don't want anything bad to happen to them and one is having problems paying bills in a big city, but there just is no real opportunity in these small towns.)
-I'm on disability (seizures and other medical issues so opportunity doesn't know me)
I hope all these women who choose to be child free succeed in lowering the population, helping to save our earth and lowering the number of people so bosses have to pay us a living wage. This has so much potential
This demonstrates the power and importance of language. In my youth, you only ever heard “childless” or even worse, “barren.” Child free suggests choice and positivity, I’m so glad this is what we call a woman these days, when she doesn’t have children.
I too am a childfree woman. 44 years old. Never wanted them. Notice how all these women are extremely smart and articulate. It's sad that a lot of the ones having children are not a lot of the time.
I have 7!
1. I just don't like kids. Period!
2. Compared to human kids, dogs and cats are practically better in every way!
3. I don't have the money and resources for myself plus an extra person.
4. I was raised by narcissistic parents and a bullying older sister, so I want to spend the rest of my life focused on me and my recovery.
5. I have autism and I don't think I can handle a kid with autism should it pass through me.
6. I don't want to pass on my generational trauma.
And 7. My abusive parents don't deserve grandkids. Amen!
Mine don’t deserve any from me either and if I did have some, they would barely see them for various reasons. My cat IS much better as well in every way. I have had her since she was 5weeks and I feel the joy with her that people claim you have with kids. I enjoy watching her grow and making sure she has the best quality in anyway I can. I wanted her so bad for years and never regretted her. I love everything about her and i miss her every second im not around her. I never need a “break” from her. She’s the best and I already feel weird knowing she won’t live as long as i do so I spend as much time with her as i can while she is here. I wish i could take her everywhere with me. Especially travels. I can’t imagine saying this or feeling this way about another human child.
This is scary! This is me and my reasons to the T. Like every single one!!! I read and agreed with most reason in the video and in the comments, but your list gave me goosbumps. Not one was off. God bless you!!!!! It feels so amazing and validating to know I'm not alone in not wanting kids ever!!! ❤😊
@@keishaclark2774 WOW! Small world! I'm glad I'm not the only one either! Hope you have a great rest of your life focused on yourself! Best of luck from one online stranger to another!
If I was wealthy I would have children right now. I could afford assistance and my children would grow up without struggle.
It's her body her choice...good for her🙏🏾
If people actually respected that statement, we wouldn't have the explain to them about what goes in and out of our vaginas.😅
Her body her choice for not too long anymore in the USA. They want to take the women all of their rights away.
Being a mother holds a whole lot more responsibility than being a father. You are expected to constantly give and sacrifice for the sake of everything else. I love my peace, freedom, sleep too much to commit to parenthood.
I just don't trust anyone. I trust myself but it's unfortunate that I can't trust others it sucks.
I'm the oldest daughter of six siblings, practically had kids all my life 😂 I love my freedom too much
1. I used to be a babysitter
Right 😂
I don’t want to have to keep anyone else alive other than myself.
The women at the 8min mark about the all the "baby" things....I believe that's what 75% of women who want/have children envision is all those cute "baby" things and then the reality of having an actual human hits .....and they find out it was not for them. ....that's why they hit the repeat button so many times.
Since being child free, I'm free to quit jobs i hate and not be forced to work for SHXT because i have kids, free to do what i want, when i want, I'm free to sleep in!! Hubby and I get to take care of ourselves! We get to baby each other. All of my money is MY MONEY! i can go shopping and all the money i make is play,play money (fashion, travel, fun times), body isn't ruined, love my autonomy, i can divorce and leave anyone and not be attached to them or their dumb family through kids!! Once am done with you am done with you and your family!! I get sleep in on weekends, weekdays, i can watch cartoons as much as i want to, hell I CAN BE A BIG KID MYSELF!! SO MUCH FREEDOM IN NOT HAVING KIDS!!
I am soooo happy that more women are starting to speak on this matter. LOL about to be 33 and thought I was the only one who felt this way about having kids!
You are not alone Sis
I'll be 30 in November. Childfree and loving every moment of it. 😊
35 No kids....PEACE🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🧘🏾♀️🧘🏾♀️🧘🏾♀️🧘🏾♀️
31 no kids and no plans to have them :)
@@Not_Like_Us87The same! SoOo peaceful ❤
The United States does not provide proper support to mothers or parents, in general.
Exactly. There’s no support! There’s not even paid maternity leave… they want women to have children but don’t support women who are having children.
yeah or people 😂
It’s really scary and a huge responsibility to be a parent. I respect parents, but I think woman who decide not to have kids should also be respected and not questioned.
I’m very much *ON THE FENCE.* I love how the majority of my concerns have been voiced throughout the stitches, and my greatest concern is bringing a child into this world to live a life of *pain, danger, and struggle,* no matter what you do… and I won’t be able to save them every time. 😔
Yes, my sentiments exactly!
This is exactly me!
I feel you. What got me off the fence was my partner being honest and having the same concerns I had. All of which came up in this video.
If you are ON THE FENCE, then you really don't want children. You are just afraid not to have them because of the societal pressure. Having children should be something you want with all your heart and from the depths of your soul. People who really want kids are never "on the fence."
@@Childfree334 I mean, people can be on the fence about a lot of things. Parenthood is a calling. Just because you say you’re on the fence doesn’t mean it’s an absolute NO. You’re just on the fence at this particular moment in time. Just don’t have kids when you’re at the “on the fence” stage.
Because if we can say that people who are ambivalent don’t want kids, what about people that swore up and down they would never have kids, had them, and love the choice they made? See, you’re one of the folks people can’t listen to on the Internet. Just let folks live and let live.
“I don’t EVEN wanna be here”…😂😂😂
Yea, yea, yea… I’m with you there!
The question should not be "why don't you want to have children?". It should be "do you want to be a mother?". Everyone should think long and hard on that - what makes a mother? What makes a good mother? Am I willing/able to do what it takes?
My primary reasons for being childfree is personal freedom & autonomy, getting a copious amount of sleep, peace & quiet, getting myself ready in the morning for work, going out on a whim whether planned or unplanned, grocery shopping & cooking for myself, clean home, numerous amount of time to study/work on my crafts & hobbies, going to the gym/doing yoga/bike riding, shopping for nice clothes, getting my hair & nails done, among other mental health & self-care fulfilments to relieve stress of a long work week. The list goes on, but I must say that being CF is worth it & not worth being jealous, sad, or regretful about. #YouDoYou
💯
Here's my reasons
1. I don't want to continue the dysfunctional cycle for another generation like my parents did with me and my brother
2. I don't feel the need to become a parent
3. Having a child is expensive I grew up poor I don't want to end up like my mother who struggled taking care of me and my brother by herself because my father was in and out of jail
Parenting is a hard job and not everybody wants to do it. We need to get rid of the stigma that not wanting children as bad. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be child free. I applaud these women for knowing that they don’t wanna be parents.
Every single comment in this series IS VALID.....trust me! BUT at 61 years old I'm glad I have a 28 year old daughter as my bestie. Girls, the sacrifice is real and I'm happy that ALL of you are thinking about the liabilities of having children. WELL DONE! 😊😊
Sometimes I wish I could bottle up some of my joy from having and raising kids and let someone experience it for a few minutes.
@@omowhanrethis! I’m a single mom and don’t feel like it’s a “sacrifice”. Wtf else would I want to be doing in my 30’s? Personally, nothing.
@@katrinaoliver4167that’s sad, there’s so many things to do in the world.
@@lizzie2301there's so many things and she chose kids out of all of them. That's her right
The lady scrolling to number 3 was HILARIOUS! She had so many reasons. 😂😂😂😂😂 I too chose to be childless and agree with everyone who gave their reasons. Best decision of my life. ❤
I'm a very irresponsible person, I live very carelessly and carefree. I have two cats, but I very rarely have to do much with them. They mostly go out and play in the woods and come back whenever for food and sleep. I'm not rich or anything but I'm very comfortable and my job is easy. I absolutely love my life very much.
Bcuz of the cats next door ALWAYS fighting each other and coming into my yard and bothering my cats my poor babies don't want to go outside anymore which is even more sad when you put in the good weather :(
All three of my reasons is, I don't have that desire for being a mother.
Kids are expensive.
Kids are for life and not just for Xmas.
I get bored easily.😉
3:28 you took the words out of my mouth I’m also a introvert I need to be away from people to recharge my battery 😁 My mental health
I don’t have the capacity I worry about myself enough. Know yourself.
The question should be “why do you want to have kids” not “why don’t you want to have kids”
its so good to see all these women with the same desicion ✨
I'm child free and plan to stay that way. My top two reasons are the dance at most people 1. Financial and 2. It's time consuming. But for me, 3. I'm not close to my family, and I grew up an only child. I really believe in "it takes a village", so raising kids ALL on my own would drain me SO bad mentally and physically.
My top 3 reasons:
1) this world is a bad place and no kid deserves to be raised in it. Danger is EVERYWHERE and I REFUSE to risk a child's safety or wellbeing. Plus the future looks GRIM with the planet heating up and AI etc.
2) As a psychologist I know kids put a HUGE amount of strain into a relationship. No 1 reason of marital conflict is kids. Not money, not infidelity, not incompatibility. KIDS. And I'm not risking losing the love of my life because a kid came between us. And, last but not least,
3) Motherhood is a DEMANDING job which will inevitably put a whole lot more stress and unhappiness in my life. And my ONLY goal in life is to make it through as stress-free and happy as humanly possible. Having kids goes 100% against that goal.
#1... facts, but most people can't Handle the Truth.
I agree with women who said that the level field between women and men is no where near equal when it comes to raising kids. And I will probably end up resenting my partner in the end!
i love the first one. “i don’t even wanna be here” a-fuckin-men
I respect women who are childfree because they know they will not be a good mother
I'd be a good mother. I just don't want one of my own.
My son has battled cancer since 5 months old and now he is 22 months old. We are living in hospice care because there is no cure for him. So I will be living a child free life soon. Idk how I could chance not having a healthy baby again so I'm looking into maybe living the child free life after he passes. He's been sooo much extra work. I love him, but I have gave up everything for him including my sanity. What a tragedy. I brought him into this world and all he knows is suffering from cancer.
😢So sorry. It's not fair that a little baby has to go through that.
I'm so sorry. I lost my baby to trisomy 13 half way through my pregnancy. Everybody else in this situation seems to go on to have another baby but I am pretty sure I am not going to take my chances again. I can't control what happens to my children and I can't go through that pain again. And most importantly I can't bring another child of mine into this world to suffer
Exactly bringing a kid into the world is suffering and death
So sorry. Hugs to you.@@wanjahe8749
@@beaulieuc8910yep, Birth=Death...smh
My 3 main reasons for being childfree:
1. My Physical Health - I have 2 different areas of my body that give me chronic pain and will for the rest of my life and I have barely enough energy to look after myself let alone another human.
2. I'm an Introvert - I LOVE my alone time, people just in general stress me out.
3. The World we live in - The suffering, Global Warming, War, Poverty and everything else.
I am of the opinion that it would be selfish to bring a child into this world the way it is at this current time because the world is bat sh*t crazy. I'm actually glad to see that there are other people who are seeing what I'm seeing when it comes to the societal pressure of having kids and how much we are being lied to about parenthood. I also agree with the girl from the first stitch I didn't ask to be here and I want off this hell ride already and I'm only 26.
Yes im child free and I love it.
1. never had the desire
2. too hard to find a financially responsible, emotionally available man
3. as the one woman said, my life has become so peaceful after 22 years of abuse (23 year old now, almost 24) and i cannot imagine intentionally adding more chaos to my life when the slightest inconvenience can still piss me off
Better to be childfree then killing abandoning or neglecting a child
Some women can’t handle it and people need to keep moving. I don’t want a child should be enough of an answer. Nothing else matters!
I just made 44 and still. Childless. I was made to believe like a lot of us that you are not a woman if you do not have children. They dont tell you all of the pros and cons that comes with this. I was born with diabetes. In my younger life I was pregnant 3 times. All miscarriages. Never married. After the 3rd time and I wasn't trying, I looked at me harder and told myself that I needed to do better. Financially I'm not good. I been seen I would be doing this by myself. Looking for my momma to help all the time was selfish because my daddy wasn't going to help. And don't get me started on the the daddy that would been. Smh. I left it alone and glad I was blessed to be able to. The majority of us dont get this. I dont look down on anyone that is choosing to do this. Stop judging. The majority would chose different if they could do it all over again truth be told. 👀
Everyone who says I’m not a woman because I don’t have any children. I tell them: “in that case I’m a man”. 😂 They then always look at me very strange. OMG, I hate that statement that I am not a real woman because I’m not a mother. 😡
@@SN-bl6xmWould it help to explain that narcissistic men often see female partners as a maternal figure ... And there's a whole complex process they go through with women trying to separate from their original parent who never let them be their own person... They get with someone and discard them to fulfill this "getting away from mommy" thing. I think other non narc men project what they wish their mothers were or something. A lot of people are very mentally unwell. Check out Prof Sam Vaknin for more info on the narc mother thing.
I LOVE the women with the red hair and black hat in her car and the lady in the bathroom with the furbaby. They are AWESOME!!
1. I like my stream of consciousness to be uninterrupted.
2. I like my sleep uninterrupted.
3. Pregnancy/childbirth don’t look like fun.
I'm cheering for all of you. I became a mom at 17. It was very stressful. Don't get me wrong, I love my son very much
However I knew after I had him, I wasn't going to do it again UNLESS I met a good stable high earning spouse. That never happened. I struggled with trauma in my childhood it made things extremely difficult on top of all the regular stressors. My son is 32. I'm happy I decided not to have more. It was a serious struggle for both of us. I think it's wonderful that these people know what they want or are capable of. Don't let anyone put you down for not reproducing! You're making he right decision!!
Thank you 🙏🏽 for sharing your story 🤎🤎🤎
When will people create an app for only childfree people know each other? 😂 I'm signing up
We need a Child-Free (is the way to be) holiday to celebrate!
There is! August 1st is National Childfree Day 😊
@@heyyyyyy2546 Oh My God!
My top 3 reasons:
I don't want kids
I never wanted kids
I don't want kids 🤷🏽♀️
the fact that this isnt an exceptable answer for some people blows my mind lol
1. mental health issues that affect and limit my life day to day.
2. I was raised by an abusive father and have trauma surrounding men and relationships with men.
3. Fear of childbirth
We live in a world that preys on children.
They cost tooo damn much.
I work with them I just know I don’t want one of my own.
So I decided to make a list of why I'm childfree. Up to 103 so far. Decided to be childfree since I was 12. Don't even ask me why I was thinking about that 😂 but I'm glad that I did. It's been 17 years and ain't changed my mind since. 17 years down, forever to go 🤌🏿
I didn’t set out to be child free, but it was the result of my life circumstances and choices. I’ve never wanted to have a child with the wrong person (ie someone who won’t be heavily involved in the child’s life) and since I’ve never met the right person, I find myself where I am today. That said, I’m not sad about not having kids the way some women would at my age (late 40s). So I am not child free by choice, but I’m not upset about it. My anxiety would be thru the roof imagining the future my child would have, the financial responsibilities, etc. All in all, I think it was the right path for me.
My parents had three kids, and we were dirt poor no matter how hard they tried. In today's economic atmosphere that would be 900,000. dollars over 18 years. We never had active shooter drills or concerns for climate change. My father died from stress between his stress over his adult children (Siblings with issues) and taking care of his mom who needed healthcare living was so expensive, he never had a break, and the final burden of having to take care of his mom was too much he died at 53.
Sorry to hear about your dad. He sounds like he was kindhearted.
I'm 39 and I'm childfree by choice and I'm happy being childfree the best decision I had made when I was a teenager and I don't regret that decision at all
Im not risking my life for a thankless job
i'm so proud of all these women for being so responsible and thinking this HUGE decision through.
My Top 3 reasons why I choose to be childfree as a man:
1. Children are too expensive AF
2. Too much responsibility in childcare
3. This is a disgusting and cruel world
Nope, I DON'T WANT children!!!!!!🤨🤨🤨🤨💯
Not me sitting here as mom of 3 year old twins LOVING these videos 😂🙃 You go Ladies! I co-sign everything they said✍🏾
I don't like kids. I was bullied for 15 years so I know how evil and ruthless they can be and how society still says they are so sweet and innocent.
Thats why I say pro-lifers don’t actually care about life.
Correct, because they're actually pro Death... bcuz Birth=Death.
If I weren't craving my space and autonomy so much _(also challenged with neurodivergence),_ I would consider adoption/ fostering since the child is already here. I believe more healthy people should consider this _(esp. if their concerns are environmental or pregnancy/childbirth)_ vs. entertaining the desire to have biological children. Adoption costs should also be more reasonable.
I agree 💯
Yes! This! There are so many children in desperate need of a stable loving home, it’s so sad.
Agree. Never wanted children, but I did foster care for awhile.
Yes, I have been toiling with the idea of adopting. Especially older children who may have a reduced likelihood of being adopted by others.
Yeah
When my son was 7 he pulled me aside and said, "mom, you and dad are doing a good job with me and my brother, BUT, I never want to have kids". I asked him why? and he said, "I want to be a scientist and I want to place all my focus and efforts into that". He's 18 now, started University this fall and is majoring in Physics.
"This world is not good enough for my children" Tituba, black witch of Salam and OG childfree queen.