The way a stranger on the internet sent me multiple paragraphs on why I shouldn't hurt myself and that they care about me while my parents don't notice anything about me really hit me the wrong way and I cannot stop crying.
I'm currently writing this on August 31, 2024, tomorrow on September 1, I will be 12 years old. I've read some of the comments here and it breaks my heart knowing all of this is real. Even at such a young age I know very well that the things that happen in this world are insanely wrong, I wish I could hug everyone in the comments. I just don't understand why this world has to be so cruel, I just want world peace. I have gone through bad things too, but I won't talk about right now. I don't understand why people have to be so mean.
I genuinely teared up at "beautiful boy". being a trans FtM and CONSTANTLY being misgendered bc I don't have my binder, my clothes are too feminine and my hair is too long. It was a relief being called a boy again. I missed it. i cant wait for my binder
I know how it feels, i was on the verge of tears on that one too:( I'm a trans boy too, sadly though, i've had to deal with this mostly alone, cuz my parents are really unsupportive and transphobic. Though, lately my friends have been really supportive since i came out of the closet and got a binder for my bday from one of them, i'm so happy even if i had to tell my parents a lie 'bout the binder. I feel lucky that i have short hair and neutral clothes, so people sometimes call me a boy on the street and it feels just so damn great. Even if my parents don't support me. Guess trans boys share that feeling when it comes to that song. (Srry, i kinda vented rn with this comment, lol-)
i also started to tear up at that song, im a trans boy as well, but my family doesn't support so im not out to them, or anyone except for some random people on the internet, but listening to songs like that really helps me feel ok
I know how you’re feeling, a few years ago I used to feel the same way. Now I’ve been on T for almost 2 years and I had top surgery last November. No one misgenders me anymore (except my grandparents who have a hard time getting used to the different pronouns). It does get better, trust me in time it’ll get easier and you’ll feel more comfortable
Is cute that even your grandparents are trying to get used to your pronouns! And, thanks, i also want to believe that it'll get better someday. Even if i'll keep having to deal with a lot of problems, it feels nice when someone tells you that there's still a lot of oportunities and that it can get better:) Sometimes you just gotta face the problems to find the exit
ikr, most of my friends are into the weeknd and artists of the similar style and i have no one to share my music taste with :( (they also call me grandma because i like slow and calming music like this playlist and i crochet)
@shepbii1005 aw, I get called a slow poke or a dead fish because I dont run, I don't talk alot, and I listen to music that is "sad" my playlist has lots of Hyperpop songs but I listen to calm sings to write in my vent textbook
this playlist genuinely made me start flat out crying when i was high cause i was thinking about my girlfriend when i was listening to this and it made me feel so grateful and lucky to have her. I love her so much.
Hello, friends! Please allow me to put timestamps! Let me begin! Rises the Moon - Liana Flores 0:01 Fourth of July - Sufian Stevens 2:41 No Surprises - Julianna Chahayed 7:19 Mother Tongue - Liana Flores 9:20 Remember You - Dominurmom 12:00 I'll Keep you Safe - Vluestar 14:49 Not a Lot, Just Forever - Adrianne Lenker 17:09 Everyone Adores you (Atleast I Do) - Matt Maltese 21:21 Flowers - Christian Basso, Haien Liu 24:44 Half Return - Adrienne Lenker 28:18 Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy) - John Lennen 30:26 I Bet on Losing Dogs - Mitski 34:28 Stranded Lullaby - Miracle Musical 37:16 Just Take my Wallet - Jack Stauber 40:58 Drift Away (Omnichord) cover by Trillian (OG by Sarah Stiles) 42:18 Numbers - TEMPOREX 45:22 Infinite Cloud - azzz 47:31 Cupid - Jack Stauber 49:21 Inarticulation - Rio Romeo 52:59 Recently - Liana Flores 55:45 7 Weeks and 3 Days - Yungatita 58:40 Things to Do - Alex G 1:01:55 Escapism - Steven Universe 1:04:34 I Want You - Mitski 1:06:33 Lucy~ - Corbon Amodio 1:09:37 Try Again Tomorrow - Liana Flores 1:11:35 Harpy Hare - Yaelokre 1:14:38 It is done! I'll see you around, darling.
You’ve got this. If you think nobody is here for you, that you have no friends, you’re wrong- I’m here for you, I’m cheering for you. Everyone is like a star, insignificant and meaningless from afar, but when you look close, you see how every star literally lights up the worlds around it, how it spreads warmth. And when a star goes out.. it’s not positive. No matter what you’re going through, the darkness will part. You’ve got this, I’m cheering for you!! 🫂🌻
This playlist is so good. It’s like, here’s all the sad ACTUALLY COMFORTING songs that are really popular rn. I’ve been falling asleep to it even though it’s a vent playlist-
Liana was the name of my ex. They don't like to addressed by that, but sometimes when I hear "Rises the Moon" I can't stop thinking of them and how great they could've been without a family that treated them like garbage. I've come to terms that all that's happened between us is bitter and toxic and I still don't forgive them, but I do hope they get better.
awh im so sorry that you have to deal with someone like that:/ it always suck to have to deal with someone toxic. although i do feel bad for them having to live with a family who doesnt treat them right, its not excuse to take it out on others who had nothing to do with it. i hope you two can work things out!!
I wasng crying before but then i started reading all of the comments and omg. People dont deserve this. They dont deserve to be made to feel like shit and like they dont belong on this planet bc of someone elses opinion or vendetta. It makes me so upset when i read about children being so depressed that they dont feel like they should be alive. And when people just dont like the body they were given and others dont understand when they want to change it. Theyre all children. They shouldnt feel this way. They should be out living their lives. Making happy memories to keep forever. Not worrying about what their family and friends are going to think of them bc they want to be individually themselves. It kills me every time i read about another child teen or adult feeling as if they should be dead because someone else tried to force their opinion onto them and it makes them think theres something wrong with them.
I just found out my little sister despises me and my twin brother wants me dead. I also just found out my dad's side of the family don't like me including my siblings from there and my older sister is gone right now and is struggling. My mom also wants to disown me. I feel like everyone doesn't care about me and that they're just waiting until I'm gone so they can care and get free attention from others. I don't wanna die. But my life seems like it's begging for me to die. It's giving me many reasons to die. The only thing keeping me are these playlists and stories I like to make up and share. Sorry for venting this much. But I might die. I don't know what's next. :( but yea. thank you
im so so sorry that's going on and i always hope the best for you. no child (im assuming you're a child, sorry if wrong!) deserves to be treated that way. im glad this playlist was helpful and could help you calm down. and seriously, i really dont mind you venting at all. i love helping/comforting people and it means alot to me that you're comfortable enough to vent in my comments. again, i wish the best for you and i hope everything turns out well and with you alive🫂
I’m so sorry that the people in your life have been so cruel to you. I know you can make it out though. I may seem naïve… but i just know that you can get away from them and find people who’ll treat you right. I believe in you.
55:46 I was already surprised to see another Liana Flores song in here instead of just having Rises The Moon, but Recently is literally my favorite song. I love you for making this playlist, you have an astounding taste in music. :)
Vent: TW(Pet/D3ath/possible others) I'm trying to stay awake as long as possible to avoid the inevitable. It's 3am now, as long as I don't sleep it'll be slower until we have to put down my cat tomorrow. I've had him for 12 years, we got him when I was 4. We watched each other grow, and he continued to watch me grow. He's been diagnosed with lymphoma almost 2 months ago, he had severe weight loss and we had to bring him to the vet immediately, for them to break the news. Today, he was nonstop meowing and crying at us, and had accidents just laying in it. Tomorrow is his last day until his eternal rest. I feel so selfish, what if we could keep him alive longer? What if he got better and stayed? I know it's irrational but it feels so wrong. I already miss him before he's even gone, it hurts seeing him so defeated, just seeing how he has a soulless look in his eyes. I love him so much.. I don't want to have to let him go. Along with this, I recently lost my aunt and a family friend. Now my poor baby. Grief multiplying, on top of the struggles of bipolar are making it hard to wake up. I don't want to anymore. I want it over. Life is taking everything away from me. It's not fucking fair. Things were supposed to get better, but they never will. They never have.
I hope you're doing okay. Back to back losses like that are always the worst thing to go through. I hope you get through this. You deserve to get better. It's okay to for someone to die, it's natural, especially pets. You are going to make it through this. Just.... think of it as a new chapter they got to see before you. You don't know what lies there, but at least you spent time with them in this one and made it worth it. You. Deserve. To. Stay. In. This. Chapter. Death is a place we don't know, and you don't need to know it yet. I know it's hard. I know. I understand. I know. I know. But they will get better. They will. it doesn't feel like it because our brains only focus on the negatives. Just, for me, for you, and for everyone you care about and love, make a list. Make a list of all the good things you've ever seen, want to see, have felt, want to feel, have heard, want to hear. Or, hell, what made the day good. And it'll be hard at first, but just look at it. There's so much good in this world, and I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but one day, you'll be sitting, old and dying, and look back and wish you had more time, not that you ended it at 16. Trust me.
im so sorry all of that happened all so soon. i know how it feels to loose pets and family members and im very sorry for your loss. :( i want you to know that you can get through this and everything will clear up with time. if you ever get sad and start thinking about it again, just take some deep breaths and try not to let it get to you. i promise it'll all be fine and you still have people here for you when you need them. 🫂🫂
This actually helped me calm down because I was stressing over my body. I'm trans and absolutely hate my body, I hate my hips, thighs, and chest. I can't do much about it but I'm thankful for this playlist
another tboy here , you definitely arent alone . i hate my stomach , i hate that i have to get more expensive clothes because i cant fit into smaller sizes , my chest is only a B but even wearing my makeshift binder they still stick out so much .. i dont want T but i feel like pressured to get it if i ever want to not be misgendered :( even a he/they pin doesnt do anything :( im so happy i have people in my life that do call me how i identify and it just makes my whole week every time it happens
@@dreamingallthetimefr i feel the same about testosterone, i don't really want it, I'm afraid it'll make my hair fall out while giving me body hair that i don't like, I'm afraid it'll change something in my body permanently in a way i don't want and I'll forever regret it and hate myself, but i do want to look just slightly more boyish and have a deeper voice so i won't be misgendered and feel happy with the way people see me, I've even come to be fine with most of my body and really i just wish i could have a flat chest and a slightly deeper voice, that's all i want but sadly i can't get it because even IF i was out of the closet and my family accepted me I'm sure doctors would never give me either testosterone or top surgery because i don't want a stereotypical masculine appearance and i have low dysphoria so for them I'm not trans enough, it's sad that you have to prove to some cis doctor you're trans enough to get the treatment you NEED to feel fine, as if you're not a feminine MtF or a masculine FtM you're invalid and don't deserve treatment I've realized most of my dysphoria comes from the way people perceive me, not from my body, luckily online people can't see me so here i can be the little femboy gremlin i always wanted to be, that i was ment to be Sorry for ranting it's just the first time I've encountered another transmasc person that didn't want testosterone like me and i wanted to talk to you, hope you're having a good day man :')
Playlist’s como este tipo realmente me salvan de autolesionarme, últimamente he estado teniendo asco de mi mismo con pensamientos suicidas, problemas alimenticios, “estás gordo”, “no mereces lo que tienes”, sentir náuseas al verme, no querer ir a estudiar o simplemente compararme con mis amigos sintiéndome insuficiente y horrendo. Simplemente solo quiero agradecerte por proporcionarme un método para quitarme esas ideas sin tener que autolesionarme, te quiero, espero que estes bien y muchas gracias.
This really made me disassociate (in a good way). It's like my entire body suddenly went limp, and my tears, the same tears that I've been holding in for years, suddenly just spilled out. I wasn't crying or sobbing, or anything like that, it was just flowing outta me... It felt nice though... Thanks, anyways...
I’ll probably delete this soon but I just wanted some advice from anyone. I’ve known it’s happening for a while but I’ve been going along with it because there’s not much I can do. My brother turned 18 last December, and the months leading up to it and now, he just stopped listening to my parents like he was a grown man and didn’t need to any more. He still lives with us and basically get everything for free. He gets fed, clothed and pays no rent. All he does is pay for his car which he can’t even do cause he can’t save his money. Because my parents found it hard to tell him of now as he seems to think rules don’t apply anymore, they’ve given up disciplining him. I find this hard as he does stuff that really annoys or hurts me and he just gets away with it. Idk what to do cause every time I mention this to my parents they Just say that he won’t listen and I’m like, so you just won’t bother? You’re just giving up? They still discipline me but they won’t do the same to him so it’s so stressful when he gets away with stuff. And when they do try he just gets upset and says he hates being yelled at whenever he gets home from work when they aren’t even yelling at him it’s just stern talking to tell him what he did, like leaving the shower dirty or smt. He can’t clean after himself and he’s always awkward and annoying or hurts me and gets away with it. My parents are aware they can’t control him anymore and always get built up about it till they get angry and take it out on me, saying they should kick him out or make him follow rules etc, but never actually act on it. I’ve tried telling them calmly but they won’t listen. If I get angry about it it makes it worse. at this point I’m just waiting till he’ll move out which will take awhile since he likes paying nothing living here and getting away with everything. It’s harder cause he has bad aDhD so he never sees anything as his fault. Any advice on what to do? ☹
Dang u just described my exact situation with my older sister except she’s 19 abt to turn 20, college drop out. Yk what I think u shld do? Live ur life and ik it’s hard asf, I really do but I’ve learned you can’t help anyone who doesn’t want to help themselves. You can talk to people all day long but you can’t force them to listen. And I get it and it’s so unfair and just hard to deal with but yeah. Focus on you and help yourself out yk?
relax & try to make light of it or forget about it. i can’t even do this myself, but it might help. or just keep bothering your parents about it to the point where they finally do something.
imo, i think u shld make a list of everything he does that hurts you. get everybody together, and talk about all those things. and how its rlly hurting u and what u truly feel, like how u dont think anybody cares anough about your feelings just because ur more tolerant and kind. just because theyre family doesnt mean they can treat u like trash and get away with it
As someone with adhd id say that an explanation is not an excuse there are tools and resources beyond medicine that can help and a good bit is just being proactive and working around your pwn mind, hes just a lazy jerk. The best thing to do is come up with a plan to get out. Save as much as you can, keep your grades up as best you can and apply for higher education that feels far enough away that you can have a fresh start and work through that hurt and find a better support system among friends. That's the most I can think of and make sure you get a hold of your legal stuff, like as many of your documents as possible.
Love seeing fellow trans people in the comments, im mtf and ive got more than enough problems, just lost some family yesterday and i relapsed in my sh. So yeah i got a lot going on. But this playlist and the people here are helping
I was up all night trying to beat something to finally prove im good enough, and couldn't, I'm so exuausyer, abused my proair, my boufriend seems mad. all I wanted to do since I'm so stressed out was just be in call and talk with him before falling asleep
I always thought I wouldn't make it past 11, but now I'm turning 13 in a month and honestly I'm doing so much better then I was a year ago. I still have bad days, days where i feel like I'd be better off dead or where i just cant get out of bed. But I have people I can talk to about these things now, I have a therapist and friends and a boyfriend. People I can reach out to when I feel like dying. I've been going outside more, trying to eat 3 meals a day, just little things like that, and it helps a lot more than you'd think. Just doing small things like taking a walk or drinking some water makes all the difference. I'm actually starting to enjoy life, I have plans for my future and I know what I'm going to do, and what I'm going to be, for the first time in my life I'm thinking past tomorrow (pls get the reference i will marry you) So what I'm trying to say here is it gets better, I promise it does. Everything may seem hopeless right now, like you're gonna be stuck in the dark forever, but theres always light at the end of the tunnel no matter how dark it is. You just need to look for it. Stay strong, keep looking forward and everything will be alright. I didn't give up so you're not allowed to either. I love you
First written: Friday, October 4th, 2024. 8:52 PM Chapter 1 - Parents. About 2 years ago, I was only in 4th grade when my dad started putting work infront of his own family, my mother was upset about this because he randomly started taking more time at work than with us. Later, in 5th grade, my mom told me that they were going to have a divorce, I was on my way to taekwondo practice and I had a breakdown in the car. Turns out my step sister was a hypocrite and didn’t really care about me, I can’t believe I looked up to her. Anytime my mom mentions my step sister or my dad, I get pissed. My dad has the audacity to think everything is fine and acts as if he did nothing wrong. I hate him so much. Chapter 2 - School/friends. And when I was in 3rd grade, I didn’t realize that I was being talked about behind my back with a group of kids I hung out with. The kid I had a crush on was actually just using me to my advantage, I never realized it until 4th grade. I was considering “annoying” and “weird” just because of my personality and interests. No one even bothered to genuinely ask me “Are you okay?”, because they never even cared. In 4th grade, I got a friend group with 5 other kids, and I was genuinely happy when I was with them, we’ve had our funny moments together and we were a great group. That was until one of them changed schools, and two of them separated from the group, but they still go to the school. I was left with only 2 people as my actual friends. I tried again in 5th grade, the group had 10 people. I was actually happy with them like I was the previous year, however, two of them left the school, three of them separated from the group, not sure what happened to the rest but I was left with 3 of them this time (the same two from the previous year) and a kid I’ve talked to a few times but never really was his friend until the current school year. During the summer, I isolated myself from everyone. Well, except from my mom and unfortunately I had to see my father because according to the law like my mother says, I can’t really be away from him. I am currently in 6th grade, and it’s no surprise I feel like I have depression, you guys could say all you want “kids can’t have depression”, or “it’s just a phase, you don’t really have depression”. I don’t really care. It’s no surprise that I know about stuff like ADHD, depression, anxiety, social anxiety, etc. It’s like everyone left me behind, but I have a friend group now. I really hope nothing happens this year because I’ll break down infront of everyone if that happens, all the pain and stress I’ve been holding together will be released and I will make a fool of myself. Everyone will probably laugh at me if that happens, hell I’m even tearing up while typing this. Chapter 3 - How I’m feeling/ how life is going. I feel horrible about myself. I’ve been isolating myself and not eating properly, I’ve harmed myself in every way possible and my mom doesn’t take the signs when it’s right infront of her, I can’t bring myself to ask for help because I’m scared of judgement and being laughed at. I can’t even have much eye contact with anyone anymore, and I have trouble socializing. I stopped talking much, I’ve even thought about K1//!n myself, Despite myself being at a young age. I’m finally turning twelve on November 25th, hooray for me I guess. Though I’m not excited about it anymore, my childhood has officially been wasted, except from before I turned 8. It has been a painful 4 years, I stay in my room most of the time listening to playlists, I’ve stopped having interest in staying on calls with my friends like I used to, and I’ve been inactive on online games and on discord. I can’t seem to cry anymore, no matter how hard I try. I want to off myself already but I’m too scared of the pain and the consequences. I just want to take my rage out on something already. If you’ve read these three chapters on my vent, thank you. I’ve been wanting to get this off my chest somehow, I may be young but I seem to be on the wrong mentality level. And for anyone that took the time to read the whole things, thank you for your time and have a good day/afternoon/evening.
It is September 15, 2024 and I am still suicidal. I started out suicidal at age 8 (which is a very young age) due to peer pressure, depression, anxiety, claustrophobia, fake friends, and strict parents. Here I am, age 17, still calling the National Suicide Prevention Health Line, but it still doesn’t help me. I cry myself to sleep almost every night thinking “am I a bad friend? Do I deserve to live? What is wrong with me? I have good grades.. why don’t I get loved still?” to myself, and this playlist really helps me out a little, and I cry to the song “Fourth Of July” because it reminds me of myself and someone talking to me that loves me dearly. I have been through a relationship but it didn’t go what as what I thought it would, due to a “friend” that still gets me breaking glass till’ this day. (We broke up because that “friend” spread rumors about me and told the truth about me that I was suicidal). We broke up because of that stupid reason, and here I am as a transgender male in a very healthy relationship but it doesn’t feel like enough.. I am dating someone that loves me a lot, and doesn’t care if I’m suicidal or not, I cry in his arms bcz of the childhood care I didn’t have like what he did. I have this stupid thing called jealousy like others. I am still trying to recover by acting happy near others so they can show me what real happiness is like towards them.
You absolutely deserve to live. There are still good people in this world who could care for you more than you’ve ever thought. Just because you haven’t met them doesn’t mean you will never meet them. When I was feeling similar, at my lowest low, I just picked up a random book that was lying around (I was so sad that nothing could’ve made me feel better), it was a physics book lmao, and now… I am studying for a physics degree. Looking back I met a lot of nice people, new friends, got new experiences, and eventually learned how to overcome fears and become a better person. Being alive pays off. Think of all the new possibilites. New starts. New friends you will meet. Love you will feel. Birds chirping, cats purring and meowing, doggos happily wagging their tail. Fresh air.
i’m 15, and i think i might be trans? or even genderfluid.. i can’t stand being a girl all the time. i wish to be a boy too, i want to be a boy so bad.. but i like being a girl? why does life do me like this. (but hey, atleast im 6 months clean from sh)
i definitely understand that feeling. when i was 6th grade i was having a SERIOUS identity crisis 😭but hey im proud of you for being clean for that long!!🫂
I'M SO PROUD OF YOUU, I don't even know who are you but I'm so proud, I wish you can stay clean at least 1 year, Don't worry, try new things, for example, cut your hair and wear masc clothes, so you can try what feels, or try to don't dress too femenine or too masculine. ( Sorry if I have a bad english. ) 🫂🫂
currently stressing about finances and doing everything in my ability to put shit into place. I'm 19, graduated, moved out, but unemployed and 1k in credit card debt. All I would need is a job to make me feel better, but I don't have one yet. I'm frustrated, to say the least. I know I'll get through it, just like I've gotten through everything else. But sweet hell it's difficult staying above the water. I feel like I'm at Point Nemo in life. Nothing but water and sky for as long as they eye can see, and more. I'm scared of drowning, of the cold, of the deep blue. And I'm stuck in the middle of it. Fuck.
Hey. I don't know how good this will sound from a 13 year old, but I'm sorry for what you're going through. You are loved and cared for by so many people and I want you to keep going and not let yourself to get pulled in by this fucked up world we live in. You, as well as millions to billions of people, deserve the best. When looking through these comments, I want to help, but I feel powerless. Unfortunately there's nothing I can do in actions that can fix the pain and suffering in a person, but I hope that my words can help even in the slightest. Just know I love you with all my heart and care deeply about you, even if we have never met before. I'm going through lots of things right now, including school, and dealing with my dysfunctional family, and it's really hard. I'm doing my best to hold on but it's really hard. Yet it's still not even 2 times as bad as others including you and your situation. I need to realize to be grateful for what I have, rather then cry and let the pain swallow me whole. Our journey will be hard, and there will be ups and downs. But keep holding on. Hold on so tight. Remember, there will always be someone later in your life who will love you unconditionally. Or maybe even multiple people. You will find your light, as long as you keep pushing and holding on tight. You are an amazing, talented, and wonderful person in my eyes, and I know you can do it. -your friend, Ray ♡
that thumbnail comforts me so much i got a 66 on my science test and i feel like shit soooooo yea. i’m also highly convinced i have adhd and my mom doesn’t believe me at all. and that’s just amazing because _i can’t focus anyways
IDK if anyone will read or see this, but every time I hear the song Fourth of July, my heart aches so badly, I can't help but cry to it. I try my best to avoid the song cause I think of my foster family(it wasn't really a foster home; I've known these people since I was a baby; my parents had known them before even my older sister was born, but due to family problems a year ago we were sent off to live with them for a year.) But recently, I left their care and moved to another state that is very, very far, I made friends there, and so much more, I met people who helped me through my lowest. I'm really happy to be back with my parents cause they are so much healthier than before. every year before 2024 has been just pure hell, and it's hard for me to even say that cause most wouldn't believe me due to being so young and going through all I went through. (which I won't share cause I don't feel really comfortable with that on the Internet.) but I had the choice to stay with that family or go back home, and both felt so wrong it was a losing battle, I would hurt my other family's heart and then my parents. And I would be losing so much by going back home, but I had been longing for my parents for so long, it sucked to see other families and then look at myself and know I didn't have any parents at the time. The day before I left was the fourth of July, that was my last day to say goodbye to the friends I had made back there. I never had any friends before moving into the other family's home, it was so weird to see people who loved me and cared for me like that. Then, the day after I was really leaving, it felt so unreal, I felt so many mixed emotions: what if I had made the wrong choice? Seeing my space in my room all empty was so eerie it looked empty and sad, the only thing left there was an empty bed. I can remember looking at the sister I shared a room with; we took one last picture together in there, and that was when I broke down with her. I hated seeing her cry, and I was the reason why she was crying. (for context, the family has three daughters, and I have 3 bio sisters. My two younger ones left with me while my older sister stayed back with them to finish school.) but I walked through the house one more time and remembered all the laughs, all the time spent crying the silliness, and the love. Yes, there were so many hard moments that I've tried to forget, but there were also so many good moments. The line in the song, "And I'm sorry I left, but it was for the best," is how I feel. I always felt like I was a problem to the other family, that I was in the way of them, so it felt like my leaving was good for them. Even for me cause, I got to start over with my parents again. My bio older sister called me the other day saying it seems like I don't miss them or care, that hurt cause idk if she knows how much I miss them, but it's okay cause I know at some point she will figure it out. But I miss everyone there dearly, I can't even believe that chapter of my life is all over, it felt like it was just yesterday I arrived there, It hurts to see photos of them I cry every time I do, but I'm hoping ill get through the grief and focus on this new chapter of life, I am happy rn cause I'm a year clean! which is already a good new start to me. if anyone reads this, thank you so much for taking the time to read this long ass comment haha, I hope everyone here has a wonderful morning, afternoon, and night.
My friends often tell me to pack more food for myself but I can’t bring myself to pack more food because when I pack my lunch I dont feel hungry so I just pack myself a sandwich but recently I’ve just been packing three cookies and thats what I eat until I have lunch in aftercare many hours later
Sorry for the late reply. My friend does give me some of her lunch but since the cookies ran out I just started eating an apple only but sometimes I pack yogurt with it. I think my body got so used to not eating for long periods of time I don’t often feel hungry
I hate my parents. there so toxic ad controlling, and then my brother ran away. I was the first person he reached out to. he texted me and then later that night around 11:30 he asked if he could come to the house for a bit to grab stuff he forgot, like his adhd meds. I unlocked the door. let him in, and its just been my secret ever since. we still talk and no one in the family knows. im the only one in the entire family he texts. I always get sooooo happy when I see a notifacation from him.
i think this song gives energy because i just fell asleep and now since i woke up i feel like i can do anything everywhere any time all at once around the world
12 year old here, turned 12 less than a month ago. Just turned out, my main friend group, which has my best friend in it, planned to get rid of me. They managed to turn my other close friends against me. This all happens, directly after my Dad put a kn1f3 t0 h1s thr04t in front of me. I love life. So. Much. (/S) This playlist is helping me get through life, so, thank you.
eating is really important lovely :( im sorry you feel you shouldnt eat but i cant encourage enough that eating is one of the most important things along with drinking water. make sure you eat a good meal and drink some water and take some time for self love ♥🫂
One day, I met a girl, she became my friend and we shared a lot in common. It was the first time i actually had a friend with who i could go out but at the end of this year, she rejected me for another person. At first I didn’t care, I carried on with my own life but here we are, It’s the 24 of August, it’s 10:09 p.m and i’m crying over this playlist because i realise i don’t have any real friends with who i can go out and just chill with them. I live in the countryside and i have nobody where i live. Today was the first time i cried while riding my motorcycle…i was i sad that i broke into tears and and just kept driving around. I didn’t want to come back to my house because it would remind me of how alone and lonely i am… I’m 17 and i don’t see myself living to my 20´s…
hey now, i promise you're never alone and any friends you may have made in your past that you drifted away from are still there with you in your heart!! and im sorry about what that girl did, that was really rude of her and you didnt deserve that:( but know this: one day very soon you will find the right someone and you'll be able to tell when you do🫂🫂
@@KoopaScribbles that’s so nice of you. i hope you will have the best life because you are truly amazing, your comment and your playlist too. thank you so much for making this kind of playlist on yt
it's ironic that I have a good family and good friends but that doesnt change the fact that I refuse to open up with them bcus I always felt like they would forget abt it easily or gradually start to compare their horrible experiences with mine and that made me feel awful of myself, feel selfish, selfish enough for opening up on someone that had it more worse( I hate it a lot, the convo was never a competition). or perhaps, they dont seem to say anything bcus ik they werent built like a therapist so whats the point of opening up? It was rlly ridiculous when one of my family legit told me that I should go to the mental hospital when my aunt saw my scars on my arm. she was once nurse, I understand her perspective on y she told me that. I literally felt open and safe enough to her just to get SNITCH. I nver thought shed do that, now I distant my own feelings from everyone becus from what happened. I hate it so much, I even knew if I had never do anything to impress my family and friends, im nothing but js a display and a display doesnt have any good connections from everyone but would be stared at for a second then looked away as if im nothing to them. i knew I was never born to entertain but what exactly is the point of living then? anyway. I really appreciate this playlist because ive finally open up truthfully of myself, I wish everyone will have the prime moments in their life, stay strong!
I feel like such a hypocrite and a liar when I comfort people and tell them I, proud of them for eating. When I can’t barely bring my self to follow my advice.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel normal. I don’t know what normal is. I feel like I’m going to cry, my eyes well up with tears, but I can’t fucking make them fall. I’m so desensitized I spend every waking moment trying to decide if a moment when I’m smiling is happiness or just me pretending. I smile without smiling. I don’t fucking feel anything, I don’t know when this started or what’s happening to me. I do my daily tasks without thinking about them. I have disgusting thoughts sexualizing myself and others and I don’t know how to stop. I’m known as the “therapist friend.” I have two friends who cvt. Every day they come to me: “I failed again, I’ll try harder this week.” And every time I comfort them and try to help them. They think I’m perfectly fine, that I’m a normal, mentally stable person trying to help them. They rely on me so much and I don’t know what I’m doing and I don’t know how to help them. I sit there, staring at my screen, for a solid 5 minutes before responding to any text because I’m approaching the person’s message at all angles, trying to think of a way to respond that makes me seem likeable. I just want to fit in. I’m too loud, I have weird interests and hobbies, I do things that get me bullied. I have so many different personalities for different people that I don’t even know if any of them are real anymore. I’ll just sit in bed, watching UA-cam, making paper stars or yarn tails, without eating or getting up for days. I can’t do anything right. I feel so fucking numb. Anyways, if you read all of this (you probably didn’t, and that’s okay; no one really wants to read my rambling incoherent thoughts anyway), thanks for caring.
@@gimmemore1301 yep. My school friends will walk to lunch without me, go to each other’s houses without me, etc. but I can’t just start ignoring them. They’re all I have, and our parents are super close.
Gracias for including "Beautiful Boy" in the playlist. I find the song to be soothing especially since I'm going through a depressive episode that's violent like a wild storm. Gender dysphoria fells so painful sometimes. 😣
I have lived a heavy life from a young age. It tore at me to be a result of an unwanted pregnancy, one made after a divorce. My mother was happy to have me but it was because she wanted a second chance at life. She didn't actually want me, she wanted the experience of living though me. I was never a person to her. I was an extension of her, a means to freedom from a life she had so little choice in choosing. So i grew up never being a person, never living for myself. My father at the time was of little help. he was present but absent, he was an alcoholic. My older sister did blame me for being so clingy and not allowing her freedom. But she later saw that we both were unwanted and became the mother I needed. So little of us have a chance to escape that life though 'better means.' I got out at 16 when I was kicked out of my mothers home. I stayed with my dad and for the most part I am content as a person could be. My body is failing me too it seems but I think it is more of a horrible genetics the the "universe is out to get me sort of deal." Life will not get easier, it just becomes more manageable. That is okay, because life isn't worth living because of how easy it is to live in. It is the experiences between the bad and the people during the bad that make it worth trying again for. Maybe one day I can live for myself, until I will try because there is nothing I would rather do at the moment. We will get there because I refuses to quit when I have the chance to try again.
I’m scared to die But I want to? Well, it’s more like I want to just become a flower in a valley. I want to feel the warm sun. I want to run through vast gorgeous fields. I want to live in a dream and never wake up from it.
I use this video to help me sleep. I have a hard time sleeping because my thoughts keep me up. I want to ask for help but I'm scared to. I wish I could open up easier. I hope you guys are doing better than me
safe place:( I just need to vent, I'm exhausted. Hi, p So long since we’ve spoken Since I’ve heard the sound of your voice without a hurtful past and doubtful mind... And I admit. I hate to say this I would love to speak to you again The way we used too... But I don’t have that choice Neither do you? But I miss u? Many times I’ve thought about you, Our friendship, damn, how I wished it was true. I could only gaze at you now, Wondering how you are What you’re thinking, what you’re doing Have you healed from all the scars Cause if you ask me, I never did. If we never ever speak again, I'll tell you my regrets choosing them over you. Yet, How am I supposed to repair the irreparable? The screaming sound of my pleading, begging God to forgive me for breaking your heart after my promise to never let you cry. That ended- broken our trust I love you, I never had the chance to say it. But I do. Writing what I may never be able to say So you know‚ i never hated you, you‘re always be the reason why I am still here, now barely surviving. Almost a year since the last time I saw you smile for me. And it is driving me insane. So I wrote this to clear up my mind and soul. To protect my inner peace and to let go of all of the negativity inside. To forget and forgive. And to thank you for the short period of time that I felt safe beside you. I know you might come in this playlist, that's why I'm reaching out using this. If somehow, miraculously, you saw this. I'm still waiting. -gdv edit: who would've thought that our theme song is here, [, please, forgive me for whatever I do, my Marceline.]
[ PUBLIC JOURNAL ENTRY ] can you feel it? can you feel the burning hatred of the people around you? the scorching heat of rage pulsing out of their body. radiating and infecting. slowly but surely. can you feel it? do you feel the absolute despair that lies within? the strong waves that sweep you from your feet, whirling you around until you eventually end up on the sandy shore, either mentally scarred for life, or not with your fellow kin anymore? do you really, truly feel it? do you feel the joy that courses from the people close to you? do you feel their true bliss? do you honest to god feel their happiness? can you feel all these emotions? can you feel the overwhelming feelings. everyone experiences them. every SINGLE speck on this tiny rock has felt even meager emotions. (sorry if the flow wasnt good this doesnt even have a meaning im just writing until i dont feel sad anymore)
Things to do if you’re sad -cut paper (Throw it out afterwards) -scream/cry -make tea -go on a walk alone/with someone -Give someone/something a hug! Including stuffed animals -Watch a comfort UA-camr Something to distract yourself from negative things -Smell something you like the scent of -Get a fidget toy -pet your pet if you have an animal in your home/house -Take a nap (sometimes when you take a nap after all emotions you’ll remember bad memories when you wake up so try distracting yourself when you wake up) -Go on a FaceTime with someone -talk everything through with someone or maybe even yourself. Saying your feelings and emotions out loud might make you feel better -Go somewhere you enjoy being at Hope this helps! Please eat. You need it to survive.
as someone who has gone through the equvalent of half of the people in these comments the best decision i have made was to come here and listen to music instead of cutting myself, even if i get so bad to the point of crying in my friends arms when we walk home..whoever is out there just know dont turn to SH as a type of comfort..its a toxic relasionship and not a heatlhy one instead please try to seek out help even if you dont want to...trust me i know. i love you all and im PROUD of the person you are, stay safe and strong for me atleast💓💗❤🩹
this whole playlist makes me think of my ex, the way i loved her, the way she made me feel, the promises i made and broke and the promise that ill forever wait for her no matter how long, days weeks and months have went by and im still waiting. i will forever wait for my girl no matter how long i have to wait no matter how we change or act no matter what i will always be hers even if she isnt mine, even if she dates other people, likes other people, even if she doesnt love me, i will always love her and i wish i had the balls to actually talk to her again but for now i sit and wait for the right time
i 'm glad I have the friends and people that care about me i realized how much they like that i'm here and I don't know what to do but I am happy and that's all that matters
Im currently 12 and things have been very hard like very hard I have been struggling with severe depression and sucide thoughts but I’m here if anyone needs to talk I’m very good at understanding even tho I maybe 12
It’ll be okay even if it doesn’t seem like it now take the time u need away from everyone or everything for urself u have urself no matter what happens and u can do this u will find someone at some point who is beyond happy to be with u and all u are
my mom and dad hit me for no reason....i got 99 on my test and my brother got 15 and i still got hit and said i'm worthless,no one will support me...i just want to be me...
2:41 this song reminds me of my grandma. She passed away somewhere in 2017, I was 6 maybe it was 2016 but I don’t remember. She was the best grandma ever, her laugh made others laugh and I loved her so much. Somewhere in oct(or April I can’t remember) she was taking care of me and my siblings while my parents were away, that day she was exhausted and tired, the whole day she was resting. Then we went to sleep, the next day me and my sibling were playing all day and we got very hungry so we went to ask her but she wouldn’t wake up, I vividly remember screaming into her ear trying to wake her up but she just wouldn’t. Whenever I look at the moon I think of her. The ambulance sirens were so loud and i remember just crying so hard, I wish she could have stayed longer.
No. There is never a need to hurt a child. I'm sorry if someone did so anyway. Cruelty is unnecessary, you deserve sunlight and fresh air and good things. I hope you feel better soon. Sorry if this comment was insensitive.
(Sorry if I vent too much!) I've been struggling with life and it hurts me, I lost happiness when I was 11 and I want to feel it again. I've forgotten what being truly happy feels like. I lost my true self long ago and I'm not the same, I'm losing my friends as I had to move twice. I had to say goodbye to them and it hurts me. I've always been known as a freak for being so smart and I've been bullied for it, I just want to die now... I stopped caring cause I know it was inevitable... I want to feel happiness again... truly this time... I might be dead if you see this, I'm a 13 yo male who is depressed into depression cause life is too hard... these bruises, burns, scars, and wounds won't heal... I'm broke and I can no longer cry...
I don't know what you're going through specifically, but I gotta tell you man, don't do it. im young too, and my life is shit. it was shit in the past, it was shit in the present, and hey, it'll probably be shit in the future too. that's just how life is. I cant promise you "it'll get better super soon, just keep pushing!" cause, I don't know if it will, soon at least. life is full of ups and downs. theyre precious and dreadful. its just how it is. it wouldn't be life if it wasn't. I know its easy to be in a slump or bad place and just accept it. you feel weak and hopeless, and its okay. we all get like that sometimes. in times like that, what matters is not how we got there, it matters how we push on and keep going, despite all the terrible things we've been through. life is hard man, I know it is. it really is. sometimes its unfair and unforgiving, but sometimes its not. sometimes its beautiful. sometimes its small moments where you appreciate it, even if it sucked in the past (and in the future, probably). life is special, and you cant throw it away just because you're in a rough patch, even if the offer is very very tempting. I learned something and I thought I should share it with you; the phrase "you only live once" isn't true, or it doesnt give the experience of life justice. you don't live once, you live everyday. every time you open your eyes, every time you fail, every time you win, you're living, even if it fucking sucks. you only die once, so you might as well live everyday until that point, right? I was about to go to sleep, and I was just using this playlist as background music, but I saw this comment and, I gotta admit, I got worried, and kinda sad? I don't know you, and you don't know me. we'll probably never meet and we'll forget about this video in a year, probably. but right now, someone out there is thinking about you, and hoping your safe. they're hoping you're okay, and you'll get through whatever happening. they're hoping that you can live more life so you can fuck up and be sad. as much as it sucks, they want you to be ALIVE to fail and succeed. that person could be many people. it could be a mother or father, an old friend, family member, anyone. if its none of those people, its me. some stranger in the comment section, hoping you're okay, hoping that you'll be okay eventually. I'm sorry you feel this way, but I hope you live enough to feel this way again. I hope you pull yourself out of this slump you're in, and hopefully the ones you encounter in the future. you're too young to give up now, man. we both are. I hope I could've helped with this little message, even if only a small amount. I hope you won't do you what you say you will, and maybe me, or anything, will give you some clarity and sense. goodnight.
@@guitarsolo. I can't think you enough man, seriously. Thank you for encouraging and understanding me, I hope you have a good life as well. And yes, there is always someone caring for each other and I can't thank you enough man. Thank for understand and yes life is hard and it wouldn't be life if it wasn't, Thank you so much, I can't express how I feel about your comment man. You are the kindest person I've met in my life so thank you very very much. You have a goodnight to man, you deserve it. Your local stranger, Crystal Prodcutions.
Writing this in the middle of the night on october 2 2024 rn. Thank you for making this, and I mean it. I’ve been horrible at personal care to the point that some parts of my skin is so dry it started bleeding, and that I just feel like total **it. This helped me feel a bit better, even if it’s not much. Hope everyone reading this is okay, remember that someone is probably going through the same thing.
People do the w+s spam behind me and I tell them to stop, tell them my age (ten) and they dont stop. Its so dehumanizing and just gives me trauma. People say its just pixels but those pixels are still me, and its rude to say womp womp or defend people who are probably gonna grow up to be groomers, because I'm on the verge of relating to chocolate box girl by weevildoing (epic song)
thank you, your playlist is really calming, so well, uh at the university, everyone knows me as a quiet and nice student so they just don't believe me when I say that I can get angry and shout at someone. I keep getting told that I speak too quietly and - well that's too bad because as soon as I get home I lash out at everyone, so there I keep getting told to stop yelling. I yell, I yell a lot and then just cry. I understand that I probably just hold back too much because I can't be myself around anyone except my family. I don't have any real friends, only my family - but I keep throwing out all my bad emotions on them, and I can't even explain to them what's happening to me. I guess I'm just afraid that they won't understand, and I don't want to be a burden, but damn it. I'm already a burden. i'm 19 but I still keep acting like a child.
Every relationship needs communication or it’ll, like- *poof* so… if you tell them what you need, i mean i don’t know them, but if you do, they should want to give that to you. And if you don’t know what you need, then just being honest can help. Try?
half return made me sob so hard bc for some reason it made me think about how much has changed for the worst since my grandpa died and how much my family now still doesnt think i have remorse because i was only 8 and didnt understand what death really was so i didnt cry while everyone else was, now im 13, 14 in october, wondering if anyone else will die thats very dear to me, i think my grandma mary is next...
my friends always say like “you have 200 hair particles” or “you’re bald” when my hair is just short (little past my shoulders) and thin. it’s getting rlly annoying n i’m getting kinda insecure abt it. my hair has always been short like this n my hair stopped growing when i was 2 nd started growing again when i was 10
23:04 it's the first time i heard this song since my best friend's dad passed away last year. The lyrics feel very accurate, everyone else left and for o while it was only the two of us, i want her to see how loved and precious and strong she is. Hey G yk how i tell you that everyone that gets to meet you will love you, well at least i will always do
Beutiful boy has to be the most beautiful song ive ever heard in my life. Playing this for my 7 year old chicken that has a incurable disease shes crying in my arms.. Everything will be alright..
(This is a vent sorry) Tw: sibling d*ath, sewerslide So basically my sister died, she hated me anyway but HUH!? Also yeah I’m probably not making it to my 15th birthday
oh my god im so sorry to hear that.. :( but hey, ik you may not think you deserve to live but i promise you do. making it to your 15th birthday will be the best achievement of your life when you get there, so stay strong, and i'll be proud of you when you do! 🫂🫂
Hey. From a fellow person your age, I assure you it's worth it to live longer. No matter what happens, I can't imagine it, honestly, I've never lost anyone that close to me. I've never cried like that. But I still wish I could take your pain on for you. You're worth all of the time it takes to heal. Please don't leave. I've always convinced myself to stay alive because of one thing, and I want to share this with you; I want to make it to my deathbed, when I'm old and lived a life, and laugh at all the good memories as I pass on. Please make it there with me.
10/8/24 I’m starting to reconsider ending it all it’s not getting better I’m tired of being here I’ve been trying to stay but no not helping the only thing keeping me here is my cat she’s been there all this time yes my mom may have but she wasn’t there when I was crying every night she wasn’t there when I was considering to end it she wasn’t there to worry about if I was going to do it my cat was she’s been there that whole time she knew I wasn’t okay she knew that I love her sm:) (she was laying on my lap when I was out in my living room)
I wish it wasn’t like this. I hate how it wasn’t always this bad. I hate how easily I can define the point where everything went to shit. I hate how I know what it’s like to be loved, for your family to care, and understand, and support you. I hate that I don’t feel that way. I feel like a broken doll. Just sitting up there on a shelf, the gifted golden child, and then I get knocked down and shattered on the ground, and glued back together, and put back up like it never happened. But I know it happened. And I feel those cracks. And they hurt. But nobody else does. I keep having to hold myself back from cutting because my friends made me promise I wouldn’t. I don’t want to die, I just don’t want to be here. I go to therapy. My parents know what I did to my arms. I’m more confident than I’ve been in months. I should be fine by now but I’m not. I keep lying awake at night wondering what being dead is like. My mother says she loves me but I can’t make myself believe her. I’m just glad I have good friends. They’re all that’s keeping my blood inside me sometimes. I don’t even know what I’m getting at. I’m just confused. How do people figure out their entire life so easily? How people know what they are? Who they are? Who they want to be? They make it seem so easy.
I miss being not being treated bad,wait,I never was once treated right...I miss him,I miss you,I miss them...I'm sorry I'm annoying...What have I become? An aggressive traumatized monster thats insecure,I just want comfort,I get told to let my guard down...I cant ever let it down again,I've hurt people because I'm scared,All I want is a hug..But I cant get one...I'm actually a very vulnerable person,wait,no.. I'm not a person...I'm a filthy relentless monster...I'm vulnerable to things though,I want to feel at home....It's hard to forget people who inflicted something that you will remember....I just want to be hugged,I want to be missed..I don't want to be called childish...I just never had a childhood.... (Me:12))
I feel like I want someone to love me just to make sure I’m a good person even though I don’t love myself. It’s like I’m selling a product I hate but I want people to buy it. I heard that from my therapist and it hit hard for me. I honestly move schools because it’s not enough for me. I feel so stupid for being here. I always think of how I look and what expressions I make to certain things and if I should change it to people’s standards. I want to kill myself but I don’t want to tell my mom or dad anymore. I’m giving them grief after all.
I'm currently trying to breathe past stress that feels like a long heart attack. I swear I can feel my heart stuttering. Breathing hurts. Distractions don't really work, because the pain remains in my chest. I feel like I'm going to go nuts. I'm trying to just focus on the fact that it'll eventually go away, because people told me to try and think about positive things, but I feel miserable and I need to express that somehow. I've had a shit life so far. I haven't really let myself think so because it didn't get as bad as it could have, but the truth is that I barely have 3 years worth of memories compared to the double-digit number I should have and too many of them are bad. I suppose things are 'getting better' now, but I wish they didn't have to get better, I wish they always were. I wish I had always been happy, I wish that I in the present could feel what happiness is like without pain. I wish the people around me had been less selfish so often.
Hello people. Currently writing this Oct 23. As a 11 year old girl whos birthday is in 2 months (dec 3 ^^) ive had my experiences and want to give a message to the world to Love yourself even if you start to give insecure about your body. Everybodys beautiful even you beauty can be found in every body some people or yourself cant see! You got rejected? Oh you poor thing.... I know love hurts but soon youll find a person one day that would care for you not like the person that rejected you. You were too pretty for them they wouldn't understand your beauty. Your parents are abusive? You poor child... Mine are too but it will get better soon trust me you will turn 18 and you will hopefully be able to cut contact with them and stop interacting with them children. You dont feel worthy? Child, everybody is worthy ill give an example! Water is 2 dollars at a gas station then its 4 dollars at a store and 6 at an airport. See how the water gets more expensive when the loaction changes? You are worthy children it just depends on the place your in loves. You dont feel proud? Kid im always there for you. Trust me children im proud of the grades you get even if their bad because you tried. Im proud of you guys for eating. Im proud of you for sleeping. Im proud of you for waking up. Im proud of you for doing your laundry. Im PROUD OF EVERYTHING YOU CHILDREN DO! signing off- Exho🎃
today is sept 13th 2024. on sept 13th 2020, my best friend Kai slit his wrists on the phone with me and passed away. this day marks four years, i am devastated. i talk to him still and i till him about my day everyday. i miss him more than i could ever express. he meant the world to me, he was my only friend for so long. i knew he was struggling and i was always trying to help him. i tried to help him even till the end. i begged him to stop but he’s gone and he’s been gone for four years today. i don’t know how i feel about that.. he’s been free of suffering for four year now. today makes me very upset every year but i guess the only way i can express it is in a youtube comment on a vent playlist. oh well i’ll see him soon
hey. I know this is late. I just wanted to say, don't give up on life. I know that it hurts you, but it's not worth it. I'm sure your best friend would be happy to see you being happy and living your life. things will get better for you, just keep on living.
omg everyone here has gone/is going through so much. to whoever’s reading this I hope ur doing okay in life, its so sad to see how horrible people can be to great people :( no matter who/what you are you’re accepted. just remember that (also remember to stay hydrated & eat sum food ^_^) my vent is pretty mid but i have a crush on this girl and i guess she just doesnt like me back, it eats at my confidence cuz my friend literally JUST effortlessly got a gf 😭😭 i’m not mad at them for any reason, im so happy for him but i just feel alone. i dont have much friends at school and nobody really likes me, so i guess i just feel jealous but ill be fine :) thanks for reading whoever u are, and just remember that your loved deeply and unconditionally ^-^ i hope you have a great day/night & remember to take care of urself ❤
Today, 15th of September. It’s 1:14am. I’ll be 12 in December. I’m so messed up. I’ve been messed up for years. I don’t get why people are so terrible. I didn’t ask for you to touch me. It wasn’t my fault. I’m a child, did you really have to hurt me? :(
The way a stranger on the internet sent me multiple paragraphs on why I shouldn't hurt myself and that they care about me while my parents don't notice anything about me really hit me the wrong way and I cannot stop crying.
That's even more messed up. Have you ever told them anything?
I'm currently writing this on August 31, 2024, tomorrow on September 1, I will be 12 years old. I've read some of the comments here and it breaks my heart knowing all of this is real. Even at such a young age I know very well that the things that happen in this world are insanely wrong, I wish I could hug everyone in the comments. I just don't understand why this world has to be so cruel, I just want world peace. I have gone through bad things too, but I won't talk about right now. I don't understand why people have to be so mean.
Happy birthday! :D
Happy birthday! Also, I’m not sure what you have gone through, but it will get better. Trust me.
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday!! Hope you have the best day ever!!
Thanks y'all :-D
I genuinely teared up at "beautiful boy". being a trans FtM and CONSTANTLY being misgendered bc I don't have my binder, my clothes are too feminine and my hair is too long. It was a relief being called a boy again. I missed it. i cant wait for my binder
genuine question, sorry if this sounds mean, but why are you trans?
I know how it feels, i was on the verge of tears on that one too:( I'm a trans boy too, sadly though, i've had to deal with this mostly alone, cuz my parents are really unsupportive and transphobic. Though, lately my friends have been really supportive since i came out of the closet and got a binder for my bday from one of them, i'm so happy even if i had to tell my parents a lie 'bout the binder. I feel lucky that i have short hair and neutral clothes, so people sometimes call me a boy on the street and it feels just so damn great. Even if my parents don't support me. Guess trans boys share that feeling when it comes to that song. (Srry, i kinda vented rn with this comment, lol-)
i also started to tear up at that song, im a trans boy as well, but my family doesn't support so im not out to them, or anyone except for some random people on the internet, but listening to songs like that really helps me feel ok
I know how you’re feeling, a few years ago I used to feel the same way. Now I’ve been on T for almost 2 years and I had top surgery last November. No one misgenders me anymore (except my grandparents who have a hard time getting used to the different pronouns). It does get better, trust me in time it’ll get easier and you’ll feel more comfortable
Is cute that even your grandparents are trying to get used to your pronouns! And, thanks, i also want to believe that it'll get better someday. Even if i'll keep having to deal with a lot of problems, it feels nice when someone tells you that there's still a lot of oportunities and that it can get better:) Sometimes you just gotta face the problems to find the exit
It's still so surprising to find someone who has the same music taste as mine.
awh im glad you like it^^
true
ikr, most of my friends are into the weeknd and artists of the similar style and i have no one to share my music taste with :( (they also call me grandma because i like slow and calming music like this playlist and i crochet)
@shepbii1005 aw, I get called a slow poke or a dead fish because I dont run, I don't talk alot, and I listen to music that is "sad" my playlist has lots of Hyperpop songs but I listen to calm sings to write in my vent textbook
this playlist genuinely made me start flat out crying when i was high cause i was thinking about my girlfriend when i was listening to this and it made me feel so grateful and lucky to have her. I love her so much.
That’s actually really ducking adorable how dare you two be so cute without a warning!!!! 😭
Aww,hope you two have a prospering relationship!
This is the longest video I've ever posted you guys!! I'm a little proud of myself^^
stop i just realized 😭look in the desc why tf is the rock there???????? 💀💀
yay :D
Ate queen
U should be proud! You did a long video and you havent done that
1 hour video?? I tried to make a video that was actually long and it only turned out to be like 28 minutes... you did a good job!
Hello, friends! Please allow me to put timestamps!
Let me begin!
Rises the Moon - Liana Flores 0:01
Fourth of July - Sufian Stevens 2:41
No Surprises - Julianna Chahayed 7:19
Mother Tongue - Liana Flores 9:20
Remember You - Dominurmom 12:00
I'll Keep you Safe - Vluestar 14:49
Not a Lot, Just Forever - Adrianne Lenker 17:09
Everyone Adores you (Atleast I Do) - Matt Maltese 21:21
Flowers - Christian Basso, Haien Liu 24:44
Half Return - Adrienne Lenker 28:18
Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy) - John Lennen 30:26
I Bet on Losing Dogs - Mitski 34:28
Stranded Lullaby - Miracle Musical 37:16
Just Take my Wallet - Jack Stauber 40:58
Drift Away (Omnichord) cover by Trillian (OG by Sarah Stiles) 42:18
Numbers - TEMPOREX 45:22
Infinite Cloud - azzz 47:31
Cupid - Jack Stauber 49:21
Inarticulation - Rio Romeo 52:59
Recently - Liana Flores 55:45
7 Weeks and 3 Days - Yungatita 58:40
Things to Do - Alex G 1:01:55
Escapism - Steven Universe 1:04:34
I Want You - Mitski 1:06:33
Lucy~ - Corbon Amodio 1:09:37
Try Again Tomorrow - Liana Flores 1:11:35
Harpy Hare - Yaelokre 1:14:38
It is done! I'll see you around, darling.
awh thank you for this☺☺
@KoopaScribbles Youre welcome, darling!
@@nonexistentghostfromthe1800sThank you friend
@Backyard_Kitty Likewise!! =)
@@nonexistentghostfromthe1800s :]
You’ve got this.
If you think nobody is here for you, that you have no friends, you’re wrong- I’m here for you, I’m cheering for you.
Everyone is like a star, insignificant and meaningless from afar, but when you look close, you see how every star literally lights up the worlds around it, how it spreads warmth. And when a star goes out.. it’s not positive.
No matter what you’re going through, the darkness will part.
You’ve got this, I’m cheering for you!! 🫂🌻
The same goes for you from me frien
@@AMonstHer oh thank you!! i haven’t been having the greatest time lately, so that means a lot! have a wonderful rest of your day/night !!
@@sillymothz you too stay safe out there 🫂
This playlist is so good. It’s like, here’s all the sad ACTUALLY COMFORTING songs that are really popular rn. I’ve been falling asleep to it even though it’s a vent playlist-
Liana was the name of my ex. They don't like to addressed by that, but sometimes when I hear "Rises the Moon" I can't stop thinking of them and how great they could've been without a family that treated them like garbage.
I've come to terms that all that's happened between us is bitter and toxic and I still don't forgive them, but I do hope they get better.
awh im so sorry that you have to deal with someone like that:/ it always suck to have to deal with someone toxic. although i do feel bad for them having to live with a family who doesnt treat them right, its not excuse to take it out on others who had nothing to do with it. i hope you two can work things out!!
I wasng crying before but then i started reading all of the comments and omg. People dont deserve this. They dont deserve to be made to feel like shit and like they dont belong on this planet bc of someone elses opinion or vendetta. It makes me so upset when i read about children being so depressed that they dont feel like they should be alive. And when people just dont like the body they were given and others dont understand when they want to change it. Theyre all children. They shouldnt feel this way. They should be out living their lives. Making happy memories to keep forever. Not worrying about what their family and friends are going to think of them bc they want to be individually themselves. It kills me every time i read about another child teen or adult feeling as if they should be dead because someone else tried to force their opinion onto them and it makes them think theres something wrong with them.
I'm 11 and I already think I'm a disappointment and my life sucks.
wow, I was really overwhelmed, but this playlist helped a lot.
apparently this is my type of music now lol
thanks❣
im glad it helped!!🫂🫂🫂
30:27 I swear I’m never prepared to hear this song it makes me cry almost instantly. I miss him so much…
I just found out my little sister despises me and my twin brother wants me dead. I also just found out my dad's side of the family don't like me including my siblings from there and my older sister is gone right now and is struggling. My mom also wants to disown me. I feel like everyone doesn't care about me and that they're just waiting until I'm gone so they can care and get free attention from others. I don't wanna die. But my life seems like it's begging for me to die. It's giving me many reasons to die. The only thing keeping me are these playlists and stories I like to make up and share. Sorry for venting this much. But I might die. I don't know what's next. :( but yea. thank you
Hope the best for you
im so so sorry that's going on and i always hope the best for you. no child (im assuming you're a child, sorry if wrong!) deserves to be treated that way. im glad this playlist was helpful and could help you calm down. and seriously, i really dont mind you venting at all. i love helping/comforting people and it means alot to me that you're comfortable enough to vent in my comments. again, i wish the best for you and i hope everything turns out well and with you alive🫂
I care about you, whether I know you or not
I would love you if you were my sibling
I’m so sorry that the people in your life have been so cruel to you. I know you can make it out though. I may seem naïve… but i just know that you can get away from them and find people who’ll treat you right. I believe in you.
55:46 I was already surprised to see another Liana Flores song in here instead of just having Rises The Moon, but Recently is literally my favorite song. I love you for making this playlist, you have an astounding taste in music. :)
Vent: TW(Pet/D3ath/possible others)
I'm trying to stay awake as long as possible to avoid the inevitable. It's 3am now, as long as I don't sleep it'll be slower until we have to put down my cat tomorrow. I've had him for 12 years, we got him when I was 4. We watched each other grow, and he continued to watch me grow. He's been diagnosed with lymphoma almost 2 months ago, he had severe weight loss and we had to bring him to the vet immediately, for them to break the news. Today, he was nonstop meowing and crying at us, and had accidents just laying in it. Tomorrow is his last day until his eternal rest. I feel so selfish, what if we could keep him alive longer? What if he got better and stayed? I know it's irrational but it feels so wrong. I already miss him before he's even gone, it hurts seeing him so defeated, just seeing how he has a soulless look in his eyes. I love him so much.. I don't want to have to let him go. Along with this, I recently lost my aunt and a family friend. Now my poor baby. Grief multiplying, on top of the struggles of bipolar are making it hard to wake up. I don't want to anymore. I want it over. Life is taking everything away from me. It's not fucking fair. Things were supposed to get better, but they never will. They never have.
I hope you're doing okay. Back to back losses like that are always the worst thing to go through. I hope you get through this. You deserve to get better. It's okay to for someone to die, it's natural, especially pets. You are going to make it through this. Just.... think of it as a new chapter they got to see before you. You don't know what lies there, but at least you spent time with them in this one and made it worth it. You. Deserve. To. Stay. In. This. Chapter. Death is a place we don't know, and you don't need to know it yet. I know it's hard. I know. I understand. I know. I know. But they will get better. They will. it doesn't feel like it because our brains only focus on the negatives. Just, for me, for you, and for everyone you care about and love, make a list. Make a list of all the good things you've ever seen, want to see, have felt, want to feel, have heard, want to hear. Or, hell, what made the day good. And it'll be hard at first, but just look at it. There's so much good in this world, and I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but one day, you'll be sitting, old and dying, and look back and wish you had more time, not that you ended it at 16. Trust me.
im so sorry all of that happened all so soon. i know how it feels to loose pets and family members and im very sorry for your loss. :( i want you to know that you can get through this and everything will clear up with time. if you ever get sad and start thinking about it again, just take some deep breaths and try not to let it get to you. i promise it'll all be fine and you still have people here for you when you need them. 🫂🫂
This actually helped me calm down because I was stressing over my body. I'm trans and absolutely hate my body, I hate my hips, thighs, and chest. I can't do much about it but I'm thankful for this playlist
another tboy here , you definitely arent alone . i hate my stomach , i hate that i have to get more expensive clothes because i cant fit into smaller sizes , my chest is only a B but even wearing my makeshift binder they still stick out so much .. i dont want T but i feel like pressured to get it if i ever want to not be misgendered :( even a he/they pin doesnt do anything :( im so happy i have people in my life that do call me how i identify and it just makes my whole week every time it happens
@@dreamingallthetimefrgood luck. ❤
both of you.
@@dreamingallthetimefr i feel the same about testosterone, i don't really want it, I'm afraid it'll make my hair fall out while giving me body hair that i don't like, I'm afraid it'll change something in my body permanently in a way i don't want and I'll forever regret it and hate myself, but i do want to look just slightly more boyish and have a deeper voice so i won't be misgendered and feel happy with the way people see me, I've even come to be fine with most of my body and really i just wish i could have a flat chest and a slightly deeper voice, that's all i want but sadly i can't get it because even IF i was out of the closet and my family accepted me I'm sure doctors would never give me either testosterone or top surgery because i don't want a stereotypical masculine appearance and i have low dysphoria so for them I'm not trans enough, it's sad that you have to prove to some cis doctor you're trans enough to get the treatment you NEED to feel fine, as if you're not a feminine MtF or a masculine FtM you're invalid and don't deserve treatment
I've realized most of my dysphoria comes from the way people perceive me, not from my body, luckily online people can't see me so here i can be the little femboy gremlin i always wanted to be, that i was ment to be
Sorry for ranting it's just the first time I've encountered another transmasc person that didn't want testosterone like me and i wanted to talk to you, hope you're having a good day man :')
Playlist’s como este tipo realmente me salvan de autolesionarme, últimamente he estado teniendo asco de mi mismo con pensamientos suicidas, problemas alimenticios, “estás gordo”, “no mereces lo que tienes”, sentir náuseas al verme, no querer ir a estudiar o simplemente compararme con mis amigos sintiéndome insuficiente y horrendo.
Simplemente solo quiero agradecerte por proporcionarme un método para quitarme esas ideas sin tener que autolesionarme, te quiero, espero que estes bien y muchas gracias.
This really made me disassociate (in a good way). It's like my entire body suddenly went limp, and my tears, the same tears that I've been holding in for years, suddenly just spilled out. I wasn't crying or sobbing, or anything like that, it was just flowing outta me... It felt nice though... Thanks, anyways...
It's crazy how underrated this is man
playing minecraft after so long while listening to this at night hits different
I’ll probably delete this soon but I just wanted some advice from anyone. I’ve known it’s happening for a while but I’ve been going along with it because there’s not much I can do. My brother turned 18 last December, and the months leading up to it and now, he just stopped listening to my parents like he was a grown man and didn’t need to any more. He still lives with us and basically get everything for free. He gets fed, clothed and pays no rent. All he does is pay for his car which he can’t even do cause he can’t save his money. Because my parents found it hard to tell him of now as he seems to think rules don’t apply anymore, they’ve given up disciplining him. I find this hard as he does stuff that really annoys or hurts me and he just gets away with it. Idk what to do cause every time I mention this to my parents they Just say that he won’t listen and I’m like, so you just won’t bother? You’re just giving up? They still discipline me but they won’t do the same to him so it’s so stressful when he gets away with stuff. And when they do try he just gets upset and says he hates being yelled at whenever he gets home from work when they aren’t even yelling at him it’s just stern talking to tell him what he did, like leaving the shower dirty or smt. He can’t clean after himself and he’s always awkward and annoying or hurts me and gets away with it. My parents are aware they can’t control him anymore and always get built up about it till they get angry and take it out on me, saying they should kick him out or make him follow rules etc, but never actually act on it. I’ve tried telling them calmly but they won’t listen. If I get angry about it it makes it worse. at this point I’m just waiting till he’ll move out which will take awhile since he likes paying nothing living here and getting away with everything. It’s harder cause he has bad aDhD so he never sees anything as his fault. Any advice on what to do? ☹
Dang u just described my exact situation with my older sister except she’s 19 abt to turn 20, college drop out. Yk what I think u shld do? Live ur life and ik it’s hard asf, I really do but I’ve learned you can’t help anyone who doesn’t want to help themselves. You can talk to people all day long but you can’t force them to listen. And I get it and it’s so unfair and just hard to deal with but yeah. Focus on you and help yourself out yk?
I seriously hope things work out for you and ur family. Take care of yourself yk? I’m here for u
relax & try to make light of it or forget about it. i can’t even do this myself, but it might help.
or just keep bothering your parents about it to the point where they finally do something.
imo, i think u shld make a list of everything he does that hurts you. get everybody together, and talk about all those things. and how its rlly hurting u and what u truly feel, like how u dont think anybody cares anough about your feelings just because ur more tolerant and kind. just because theyre family doesnt mean they can treat u like trash and get away with it
As someone with adhd id say that an explanation is not an excuse there are tools and resources beyond medicine that can help and a good bit is just being proactive and working around your pwn mind, hes just a lazy jerk. The best thing to do is come up with a plan to get out. Save as much as you can, keep your grades up as best you can and apply for higher education that feels far enough away that you can have a fresh start and work through that hurt and find a better support system among friends. That's the most I can think of and make sure you get a hold of your legal stuff, like as many of your documents as possible.
Love seeing fellow trans people in the comments, im mtf and ive got more than enough problems, just lost some family yesterday and i relapsed in my sh. So yeah i got a lot going on. But this playlist and the people here are helping
The playlist and the star in the thumbnail made me happy, Thank you:)❤️
i feel like my friends hate me
ANYWAY great playlist :33 i love u /p
me too omg
good luck ❤
I hope you both know, there’s still people who care your not Alone
I was up all night trying to beat something to finally prove im good enough, and couldn't, I'm so exuausyer, abused my proair, my boufriend seems mad. all I wanted to do since I'm so stressed out was just be in call and talk with him before falling asleep
I willbe alright
@@mikucasinoland i wish i could call and comfort you before you sleep
You are good enough, don’t let other people say otherwise
I always thought I wouldn't make it past 11, but now I'm turning 13 in a month and honestly I'm doing so much better then I was a year ago. I still have bad days, days where i feel like I'd be better off dead or where i just cant get out of bed. But I have people I can talk to about these things now, I have a therapist and friends and a boyfriend. People I can reach out to when I feel like dying. I've been going outside more, trying to eat 3 meals a day, just little things like that, and it helps a lot more than you'd think. Just doing small things like taking a walk or drinking some water makes all the difference. I'm actually starting to enjoy life, I have plans for my future and I know what I'm going to do, and what I'm going to be, for the first time in my life I'm thinking past tomorrow (pls get the reference i will marry you)
So what I'm trying to say here is it gets better, I promise it does. Everything may seem hopeless right now, like you're gonna be stuck in the dark forever, but theres always light at the end of the tunnel no matter how dark it is. You just need to look for it. Stay strong, keep looking forward and everything will be alright. I didn't give up so you're not allowed to either. I love you
first person to get the reference gets an entire box of garlic bread
First written: Friday, October 4th, 2024. 8:52 PM
Chapter 1 - Parents.
About 2 years ago, I was only in 4th grade when my dad started putting work infront of his own family, my mother was upset about this because he randomly started taking more time at work than with us. Later, in 5th grade, my mom told me that they were going to have a divorce, I was on my way to taekwondo practice and I had a breakdown in the car. Turns out my step sister was a hypocrite and didn’t really care about me, I can’t believe I looked up to her. Anytime my mom mentions my step sister or my dad, I get pissed. My dad has the audacity to think everything is fine and acts as if he did nothing wrong.
I hate him so much.
Chapter 2 - School/friends.
And when I was in 3rd grade, I didn’t realize that I was being talked about behind my back with a group of kids I hung out with. The kid I had a crush on was actually just using me to my advantage, I never realized it until 4th grade. I was considering “annoying” and “weird” just because of my personality and interests. No one even bothered to genuinely ask me “Are you okay?”, because they never even cared. In 4th grade, I got a friend group with 5 other kids, and I was genuinely happy when I was with them, we’ve had our funny moments together and we were a great group. That was until one of them changed schools, and two of them separated from the group, but they still go to the school. I was left with only 2 people as my actual friends. I tried again in 5th grade, the group had 10 people. I was actually happy with them like I was the previous year, however, two of them left the school, three of them separated from the group, not sure what happened to the rest but I was left with 3 of them this time (the same two from the previous year) and a kid I’ve talked to a few times but never really was his friend until the current school year. During the summer, I isolated myself from everyone. Well, except from my mom and unfortunately I had to see my father because according to the law like my mother says, I can’t really be away from him. I am currently in 6th grade, and it’s no surprise I feel like I have depression, you guys could say all you want “kids can’t have depression”, or “it’s just a phase, you don’t really have depression”. I don’t really care. It’s no surprise that I know about stuff like ADHD, depression, anxiety, social anxiety, etc. It’s like everyone left me behind, but I have a friend group now. I really hope nothing happens this year because I’ll break down infront of everyone if that happens, all the pain and stress I’ve been holding together will be released and I will make a fool of myself. Everyone will probably laugh at me if that happens, hell I’m even tearing up while typing this.
Chapter 3 - How I’m feeling/ how life is going.
I feel horrible about myself. I’ve been isolating myself and not eating properly, I’ve harmed myself in every way possible and my mom doesn’t take the signs when it’s right infront of her, I can’t bring myself to ask for help because I’m scared of judgement and being laughed at. I can’t even have much eye contact with anyone anymore, and I have trouble socializing. I stopped talking much, I’ve even thought about K1//!n myself, Despite myself being at a young age. I’m finally turning twelve on November 25th, hooray for me I guess. Though I’m not excited about it anymore, my childhood has officially been wasted, except from before I turned 8. It has been a painful 4 years, I stay in my room most of the time listening to playlists, I’ve stopped having interest in staying on calls with my friends like I used to, and I’ve been inactive on online games and on discord. I can’t seem to cry anymore, no matter how hard I try. I want to off myself already but I’m too scared of the pain and the consequences. I just want to take my rage out on something already.
If you’ve read these three chapters on my vent, thank you. I’ve been wanting to get this off my chest somehow, I may be young but I seem to be on the wrong mentality level. And for anyone that took the time to read the whole things, thank you for your time and have a good day/afternoon/evening.
It is September 15, 2024 and I am still suicidal.
I started out suicidal at age 8 (which is a very young age) due to peer pressure, depression, anxiety, claustrophobia, fake friends, and strict parents. Here I am, age 17, still calling the National Suicide Prevention Health Line, but it still doesn’t help me. I cry myself to sleep almost every night thinking “am I a bad friend? Do I deserve to live? What is wrong with me? I have good grades.. why don’t I get loved still?” to myself, and this playlist really helps me out a little, and I cry to the song “Fourth Of July” because it reminds me of myself and someone talking to me that loves me dearly. I have been through a relationship but it didn’t go what as what I thought it would, due to a “friend” that still gets me breaking glass till’ this day. (We broke up because that “friend” spread rumors about me and told the truth about me that I was suicidal). We broke up because of that stupid reason, and here I am as a transgender male in a very healthy relationship but it doesn’t feel like enough.. I am dating someone that loves me a lot, and doesn’t care if I’m suicidal or not, I cry in his arms bcz of the childhood care I didn’t have like what he did. I have this stupid thing called jealousy like others.
I am still trying to recover by acting happy near others so they can show me what real happiness is like towards them.
You absolutely deserve to live. There are still good people in this world who could care for you more than you’ve ever thought. Just because you haven’t met them doesn’t mean you will never meet them. When I was feeling similar, at my lowest low, I just picked up a random book that was lying around (I was so sad that nothing could’ve made me feel better), it was a physics book lmao, and now… I am studying for a physics degree. Looking back I met a lot of nice people, new friends, got new experiences, and eventually learned how to overcome fears and become a better person. Being alive pays off. Think of all the new possibilites. New starts. New friends you will meet. Love you will feel. Birds chirping, cats purring and meowing, doggos happily wagging their tail. Fresh air.
i’m 15, and i think i might be trans? or even genderfluid.. i can’t stand being a girl all the time. i wish to be a boy too, i want to be a boy so bad.. but i like being a girl? why does life do me like this. (but hey, atleast im 6 months clean from sh)
i definitely understand that feeling. when i was 6th grade i was having a SERIOUS identity crisis 😭but hey im proud of you for being clean for that long!!🫂
@@KoopaScribbles thank you! i just have no idea who i am anymore
I'M SO PROUD OF YOUU, I don't even know who are you but I'm so proud, I wish you can stay clean at least 1 year, Don't worry, try new things, for example, cut your hair and wear masc clothes, so you can try what feels, or try to don't dress too femenine or too masculine. ( Sorry if I have a bad english. ) 🫂🫂
@@soapmactavishsproud of you! And also I hope you find out who you are :D
@@Backyard_Kitty i found out who i am! i’m gender-fluid, and i go by he/him most of the time! i love it, i’m free from my old body
currently stressing about finances and doing everything in my ability to put shit into place. I'm 19, graduated, moved out, but unemployed and 1k in credit card debt. All I would need is a job to make me feel better, but I don't have one yet. I'm frustrated, to say the least. I know I'll get through it, just like I've gotten through everything else. But sweet hell it's difficult staying above the water. I feel like I'm at Point Nemo in life. Nothing but water and sky for as long as they eye can see, and more. I'm scared of drowning, of the cold, of the deep blue. And I'm stuck in the middle of it. Fuck.
Hey. I don't know how good this will sound from a 13 year old, but I'm sorry for what you're going through. You are loved and cared for by so many people and I want you to keep going and not let yourself to get pulled in by this fucked up world we live in. You, as well as millions to billions of people, deserve the best. When looking through these comments, I want to help, but I feel powerless. Unfortunately there's nothing I can do in actions that can fix the pain and suffering in a person, but I hope that my words can help even in the slightest. Just know I love you with all my heart and care deeply about you, even if we have never met before. I'm going through lots of things right now, including school, and dealing with my dysfunctional family, and it's really hard. I'm doing my best to hold on but it's really hard. Yet it's still not even 2 times as bad as others including you and your situation. I need to realize to be grateful for what I have, rather then cry and let the pain swallow me whole. Our journey will be hard, and there will be ups and downs. But keep holding on. Hold on so tight. Remember, there will always be someone later in your life who will love you unconditionally. Or maybe even multiple people. You will find your light, as long as you keep pushing and holding on tight. You are an amazing, talented, and wonderful person in my eyes, and I know you can do it.
-your friend, Ray ♡
that thumbnail comforts me so much
i got a 66 on my science test and i feel like shit soooooo yea.
i’m also highly convinced i have adhd and my mom doesn’t believe me at all. and that’s just amazing because _i can’t focus anyways
I hope you do! You’re doing great! No matter what conditions:) your beautiful, your great, your worthy!
IDK if anyone will read or see this, but every time I hear the song Fourth of July, my heart aches so badly, I can't help but cry to it. I try my best to avoid the song cause I think of my foster family(it wasn't really a foster home; I've known these people since I was a baby; my parents had known them before even my older sister was born, but due to family problems a year ago we were sent off to live with them for a year.) But recently, I left their care and moved to another state that is very, very far, I made friends there, and so much more, I met people who helped me through my lowest. I'm really happy to be back with my parents cause they are so much healthier than before. every year before 2024 has been just pure hell, and it's hard for me to even say that cause most wouldn't believe me due to being so young and going through all I went through. (which I won't share cause I don't feel really comfortable with that on the Internet.) but I had the choice to stay with that family or go back home, and both felt so wrong it was a losing battle, I would hurt my other family's heart and then my parents. And I would be losing so much by going back home, but I had been longing for my parents for so long, it sucked to see other families and then look at myself and know I didn't have any parents at the time. The day before I left was the fourth of July, that was my last day to say goodbye to the friends I had made back there. I never had any friends before moving into the other family's home, it was so weird to see people who loved me and cared for me like that. Then, the day after I was really leaving, it felt so unreal, I felt so many mixed emotions: what if I had made the wrong choice? Seeing my space in my room all empty was so eerie it looked empty and sad, the only thing left there was an empty bed. I can remember looking at the sister I shared a room with; we took one last picture together in there, and that was when I broke down with her. I hated seeing her cry, and I was the reason why she was crying. (for context, the family has three daughters, and I have 3 bio sisters. My two younger ones left with me while my older sister stayed back with them to finish school.) but I walked through the house one more time and remembered all the laughs, all the time spent crying the silliness, and the love. Yes, there were so many hard moments that I've tried to forget, but there were also so many good moments. The line in the song, "And I'm sorry I left, but it was for the best," is how I feel. I always felt like I was a problem to the other family, that I was in the way of them, so it felt like my leaving was good for them. Even for me cause, I got to start over with my parents again. My bio older sister called me the other day saying it seems like I don't miss them or care, that hurt cause idk if she knows how much I miss them, but it's okay cause I know at some point she will figure it out. But I miss everyone there dearly, I can't even believe that chapter of my life is all over, it felt like it was just yesterday I arrived there, It hurts to see photos of them I cry every time I do, but I'm hoping ill get through the grief and focus on this new chapter of life, I am happy rn cause I'm a year clean! which is already a good new start to me. if anyone reads this, thank you so much for taking the time to read this long ass comment haha, I hope everyone here has a wonderful morning, afternoon, and night.
I played this while drawing and a beautiful picture came out love this playlist thank you ❤
i rarely like, mostly comment. today i was there *before* the video blows up.
favourite playlist rn, i listen to it every night and everytime i see it i think “its my favourite playlist!” tsym for the awesome playlist :)
My friends often tell me to pack more food for myself but I can’t bring myself to pack more food because when I pack my lunch I dont feel hungry so I just pack myself a sandwich but recently I’ve just been packing three cookies and thats what I eat until I have lunch in aftercare many hours later
awh:( im sorry u feel that way but if you dont feel like its ever enough at lunch then i encourage you to eat a little more!!
Sorry for the late reply. My friend does give me some of her lunch but since the cookies ran out I just started eating an apple only but sometimes I pack yogurt with it. I think my body got so used to not eating for long periods of time I don’t often feel hungry
I hate my parents. there so toxic ad controlling, and then my brother ran away. I was the first person he reached out to. he texted me and then later that night around 11:30 he asked if he could come to the house for a bit to grab stuff he forgot, like his adhd meds. I unlocked the door. let him in, and its just been my secret ever since. we still talk and no one in the family knows. im the only one in the entire family he texts. I always get sooooo happy when I see a notifacation from him.
i think this song gives energy because i just fell asleep and now since i woke up i feel like i can do anything everywhere any time all at once around the world
28:19 Half Return - Adrianne Lenker :3
this playlist is so underrated
i love it
awh ty^^
This has almost all of my favorite songs in it! I love this so much
12 year old here, turned 12 less than a month ago. Just turned out, my main friend group, which has my best friend in it, planned to get rid of me. They managed to turn my other close friends against me. This all happens, directly after my Dad put a kn1f3 t0 h1s thr04t in front of me. I love life. So. Much. (/S) This playlist is helping me get through life, so, thank you.
One day this playlist won't be relatable anymore, but until then, I'll find comfort in such lovely music
As soon as i heard fourth of july start playing i teared up, i love that song so much❤
I didn't eat yesterday and it's night now.. Yet I'm eating.
I hope it's good...
eating is really important lovely :( im sorry you feel you shouldnt eat but i cant encourage enough that eating is one of the most important things along with drinking water. make sure you eat a good meal and drink some water and take some time for self love ♥🫂
One day, I met a girl, she became my friend and we shared a lot in common. It was the first time i actually had a friend with who i could go out but at the end of this year, she rejected me for another person. At first I didn’t care, I carried on with my own life but here we are, It’s the 24 of August, it’s 10:09 p.m and i’m crying over this playlist because i realise i don’t have any real friends with who i can go out and just chill with them. I live in the countryside and i have nobody where i live. Today was the first time i cried while riding my motorcycle…i was i sad that i broke into tears and and just kept driving around. I didn’t want to come back to my house because it would remind me of how alone and lonely i am…
I’m 17 and i don’t see myself living to my 20´s…
hey now, i promise you're never alone and any friends you may have made in your past that you drifted away from are still there with you in your heart!! and im sorry about what that girl did, that was really rude of her and you didnt deserve that:( but know this: one day very soon you will find the right someone and you'll be able to tell when you do🫂🫂
@@KoopaScribbles that’s so nice of you. i hope you will have the best life because you are truly amazing, your comment and your playlist too. thank you so much for making this kind of playlist on yt
it's ironic that I have a good family and good friends but that doesnt change the fact that I refuse to open up with them bcus I always felt like they would forget abt it easily or gradually start to compare their horrible experiences with mine and that made me feel awful of myself, feel selfish, selfish enough for opening up on someone that had it more worse( I hate it a lot, the convo was never a competition). or perhaps, they dont seem to say anything bcus ik they werent built like a therapist so whats the point of opening up? It was rlly ridiculous when one of my family legit told me that I should go to the mental hospital when my aunt saw my scars on my arm. she was once nurse, I understand her perspective on y she told me that. I literally felt open and safe enough to her just to get SNITCH. I nver thought shed do that, now I distant my own feelings from everyone becus from what happened. I hate it so much, I even knew if I had never do anything to impress my family and friends, im nothing but js a display and a display doesnt have any good connections from everyone but would be stared at for a second then looked away as if im nothing to them. i knew I was never born to entertain but what exactly is the point of living then?
anyway. I really appreciate this playlist because ive finally open up truthfully of myself, I wish everyone will have the prime moments in their life, stay strong!
I feel like such a hypocrite and a liar when I comfort people and tell them I, proud of them for eating. When I can’t barely bring my self to follow my advice.
I feel the same way
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel normal. I don’t know what normal is. I feel like I’m going to cry, my eyes well up with tears, but I can’t fucking make them fall. I’m so desensitized I spend every waking moment trying to decide if a moment when I’m smiling is happiness or just me pretending. I smile without smiling. I don’t fucking feel anything, I don’t know when this started or what’s happening to me. I do my daily tasks without thinking about them. I have disgusting thoughts sexualizing myself and others and I don’t know how to stop. I’m known as the “therapist friend.” I have two friends who cvt. Every day they come to me: “I failed again, I’ll try harder this week.” And every time I comfort them and try to help them. They think I’m perfectly fine, that I’m a normal, mentally stable person trying to help them. They rely on me so much and I don’t know what I’m doing and I don’t know how to help them. I sit there, staring at my screen, for a solid 5 minutes before responding to any text because I’m approaching the person’s message at all angles, trying to think of a way to respond that makes me seem likeable. I just want to fit in. I’m too loud, I have weird interests and hobbies, I do things that get me bullied. I have so many different personalities for different people that I don’t even know if any of them are real anymore. I’ll just sit in bed, watching UA-cam, making paper stars or yarn tails, without eating or getting up for days. I can’t do anything right. I feel so fucking numb.
Anyways, if you read all of this (you probably didn’t, and that’s okay; no one really wants to read my rambling incoherent thoughts anyway), thanks for caring.
same thing with friends here
but I feel like I am their friend but none is mine.
(if u can understand that)
I wish I can give you a hug..
@@gimmemore1301 yep. My school friends will walk to lunch without me, go to each other’s houses without me, etc. but I can’t just start ignoring them. They’re all I have, and our parents are super close.
@@H3LLO_K1TTY48 I really need one right now.
Gracias for including "Beautiful Boy" in the playlist. I find the song to be soothing especially since I'm going through a depressive episode that's violent like a wild storm. Gender dysphoria fells so painful sometimes. 😣
I have lived a heavy life from a young age. It tore at me to be a result of an unwanted pregnancy, one made after a divorce. My mother was happy to have me but it was because she wanted a second chance at life. She didn't actually want me, she wanted the experience of living though me. I was never a person to her. I was an extension of her, a means to freedom from a life she had so little choice in choosing.
So i grew up never being a person, never living for myself. My father at the time was of little help. he was present but absent, he was an alcoholic. My older sister did blame me for being so clingy and not allowing her freedom. But she later saw that we both were unwanted and became the mother I needed.
So little of us have a chance to escape that life though 'better means.' I got out at 16 when I was kicked out of my mothers home. I stayed with my dad and for the most part I am content as a person could be. My body is failing me too it seems but I think it is more of a horrible genetics the the "universe is out to get me sort of deal."
Life will not get easier, it just becomes more manageable. That is okay, because life isn't worth living because of how easy it is to live in. It is the experiences between the bad and the people during the bad that make it worth trying again for. Maybe one day I can live for myself, until I will try because there is nothing I would rather do at the moment. We will get there because I refuses to quit when I have the chance to try again.
I’m scared to die
But I want to?
Well, it’s more like I want to just become a flower in a valley. I want to feel the warm sun.
I want to run through vast gorgeous fields.
I want to live in a dream and never wake up from it.
The wish to cease to exist. Kinda weird but tends to happen...
I'm not saying that you should do it, maybe resting enough should help.
Idk why but the thumbnail:"Look at u eatin' food." makes me happy because I just had 4 pizzas
congrats :D
@@Thelocaltransmascidiot42 :3 ty
lmaooo 😭😭
@@KoopaScribbles >:3
And I haven't even ate yet lmao
I use this video to help me sleep. I have a hard time sleeping because my thoughts keep me up. I want to ask for help but I'm scared to. I wish I could open up easier. I hope you guys are doing better than me
I love rises the moon. It's such a comforting vibe that I want more of
safe place:(
I just need to vent, I'm exhausted.
Hi, p
So long since we’ve spoken
Since I’ve heard the sound of your voice
without a hurtful past and doubtful mind... And I admit. I hate to say this
I would love to speak to you again
The way we used too...
But I don’t have that choice
Neither do you? But I miss u?
Many times I’ve thought about you,
Our friendship, damn, how I wished it was true. I could only gaze at you now,
Wondering how you are
What you’re thinking, what you’re doing
Have you healed from all the scars
Cause if you ask me, I never did.
If we never ever speak again, I'll tell you my regrets choosing them over you.
Yet, How am I supposed to repair the irreparable?
The screaming sound of my pleading, begging God to forgive me for breaking your heart after my promise to never let you cry.
That ended- broken our trust
I love you, I never had the chance to say it. But I do.
Writing what I may never be able to say
So you know‚ i never hated you, you‘re always be the reason why I am still here, now barely surviving.
Almost a year since the last time I saw you smile for me. And it is driving me insane.
So I wrote this to clear up my mind and soul.
To protect my inner peace and to let go of all of the negativity inside. To forget and forgive.
And to thank you for the short period of time that I felt safe beside you.
I know you might come in this playlist, that's why I'm reaching out using this.
If somehow, miraculously, you saw this.
I'm still waiting.
-gdv
edit: who would've thought that our theme song is here,
[, please, forgive me for whatever I do, my Marceline.]
[ PUBLIC JOURNAL ENTRY ]
can you feel it? can you feel the burning hatred of the people around you? the scorching heat of rage pulsing out of their body. radiating and infecting. slowly but surely. can you feel it? do you feel the absolute despair that lies within? the strong waves that sweep you from your feet, whirling you around until you eventually end up on the sandy shore, either mentally scarred for life, or not with your fellow kin anymore? do you really, truly feel it? do you feel the joy that courses from the people close to you? do you feel their true bliss? do you honest to god feel their happiness? can you feel all these emotions? can you feel the overwhelming feelings. everyone experiences them. every SINGLE speck on this tiny rock has felt even meager emotions.
(sorry if the flow wasnt good this doesnt even have a meaning im just writing until i dont feel sad anymore)
I turned 13 today, November 1st, I thought I’d be gone by now
I wish that i could talk about this but i cant where i am rn but i thought the same
Things to do if you’re sad
-cut paper (Throw it out afterwards)
-scream/cry
-make tea
-go on a walk alone/with someone
-Give someone/something a hug! Including stuffed animals
-Watch a comfort UA-camr
Something to distract yourself from negative things
-Smell something you like the scent of
-Get a fidget toy
-pet your pet if you have an animal in your home/house
-Take a nap (sometimes when you take a nap after all emotions you’ll remember bad memories when you wake up so try distracting yourself when you wake up)
-Go on a FaceTime with someone
-talk everything through with someone or maybe even yourself. Saying your feelings and emotions out loud might make you feel better
-Go somewhere you enjoy being at
Hope this helps! Please eat. You need it to survive.
as someone who has gone through the equvalent of half of the people in these comments the best decision i have made was to come here and listen to music instead of cutting myself, even if i get so bad to the point of crying in my friends arms when we walk home..whoever is out there just know dont turn to SH as a type of comfort..its a toxic relasionship and not a heatlhy one instead please try to seek out help even if you dont want to...trust me i know. i love you all and im PROUD of the person you are, stay safe and strong for me atleast💓💗❤🩹
this whole playlist makes me think of my ex, the way i loved her, the way she made me feel, the promises i made and broke and the promise that ill forever wait for her no matter how long, days weeks and months have went by and im still waiting. i will forever wait for my girl no matter how long i have to wait no matter how we change or act no matter what i will always be hers even if she isnt mine, even if she dates other people, likes other people, even if she doesnt love me, i will always love her and i wish i had the balls to actually talk to her again but for now i sit and wait for the right time
It’s been sooo long since I found a really good playlist, the UA-cam algorithm gods have blessed us today 🙏 ❤
i 'm glad I have the friends and people that care about me i realized how much they like that i'm here and I don't know what to do but I am happy and that's all that matters
Whenever i hear 'Beautiful Boy' i start sobbing for some reason
Im currently 12 and things have been very hard like very hard I have been struggling with severe depression and sucide thoughts but I’m here if anyone needs to talk I’m very good at understanding even tho I maybe 12
i got rejected and she doesnt want to even be friends anymore so im just gonna leave
It's probably for the best, even if it hurts. You know, it's not healthy to stay near her until you get over it.
It’ll be okay even if it doesn’t seem like it now take the time u need away from everyone or everything for urself u have urself no matter what happens and u can do this u will find someone at some point who is beyond happy to be with u and all u are
my mom and dad hit me for no reason....i got 99 on my test and my brother got 15 and i still got hit and said i'm worthless,no one will support me...i just want to be me...
You aren't worthless, you did absolutely amazing on that test :)
Honey u did great I’d get a 70😅
you did great too
@@DirtaMuca-gz6oo thx....you are so kind
I really liked this playlist! Keep up the good work :3
2:41 this song reminds me of my grandma. She passed away somewhere in 2017, I was 6 maybe it was 2016 but I don’t remember. She was the best grandma ever, her laugh made others laugh and I loved her so much. Somewhere in oct(or April I can’t remember) she was taking care of me and my siblings while my parents were away, that day she was exhausted and tired, the whole day she was resting. Then we went to sleep, the next day me and my sibling were playing all day and we got very hungry so we went to ask her but she wouldn’t wake up, I vividly remember screaming into her ear trying to wake her up but she just wouldn’t. Whenever I look at the moon I think of her. The ambulance sirens were so loud and i remember just crying so hard, I wish she could have stayed longer.
i was so young, so small. did you really need to hurt me?
No. There is never a need to hurt a child. I'm sorry if someone did so anyway. Cruelty is unnecessary, you deserve sunlight and fresh air and good things. I hope you feel better soon.
Sorry if this comment was insensitive.
(Sorry if I vent too much!)
I've been struggling with life and it hurts me, I lost happiness when I was 11 and I want to feel it again. I've forgotten what being truly happy feels like. I lost my true self long ago and I'm not the same, I'm losing my friends as I had to move twice. I had to say goodbye to them and it hurts me. I've always been known as a freak for being so smart and I've been bullied for it, I just want to die now... I stopped caring cause I know it was inevitable... I want to feel happiness again... truly this time... I might be dead if you see this, I'm a 13 yo male who is depressed into depression cause life is too hard... these bruises, burns, scars, and wounds won't heal... I'm broke and I can no longer cry...
I don't know what you're going through specifically, but I gotta tell you man, don't do it. im young too, and my life is shit. it was shit in the past, it was shit in the present, and hey, it'll probably be shit in the future too. that's just how life is. I cant promise you "it'll get better super soon, just keep pushing!" cause, I don't know if it will, soon at least. life is full of ups and downs. theyre precious and dreadful. its just how it is. it wouldn't be life if it wasn't. I know its easy to be in a slump or bad place and just accept it. you feel weak and hopeless, and its okay. we all get like that sometimes. in times like that, what matters is not how we got there, it matters how we push on and keep going, despite all the terrible things we've been through.
life is hard man, I know it is. it really is. sometimes its unfair and unforgiving, but sometimes its not. sometimes its beautiful. sometimes its small moments where you appreciate it, even if it sucked in the past (and in the future, probably). life is special, and you cant throw it away just because you're in a rough patch, even if the offer is very very tempting. I learned something and I thought I should share it with you; the phrase "you only live once" isn't true, or it doesnt give the experience of life justice. you don't live once, you live everyday. every time you open your eyes, every time you fail, every time you win, you're living, even if it fucking sucks. you only die once, so you might as well live everyday until that point, right?
I was about to go to sleep, and I was just using this playlist as background music, but I saw this comment and, I gotta admit, I got worried, and kinda sad? I don't know you, and you don't know me. we'll probably never meet and we'll forget about this video in a year, probably. but right now, someone out there is thinking about you, and hoping your safe. they're hoping you're okay, and you'll get through whatever happening. they're hoping that you can live more life so you can fuck up and be sad. as much as it sucks, they want you to be ALIVE to fail and succeed. that person could be many people. it could be a mother or father, an old friend, family member, anyone. if its none of those people, its me. some stranger in the comment section, hoping you're okay, hoping that you'll be okay eventually.
I'm sorry you feel this way, but I hope you live enough to feel this way again. I hope you pull yourself out of this slump you're in, and hopefully the ones you encounter in the future. you're too young to give up now, man. we both are. I hope I could've helped with this little message, even if only a small amount. I hope you won't do you what you say you will, and maybe me, or anything, will give you some clarity and sense.
goodnight.
@@guitarsolo. I can't think you enough man, seriously. Thank you for encouraging and understanding me, I hope you have a good life as well. And yes, there is always someone caring for each other and I can't thank you enough man. Thank for understand and yes life is hard and it wouldn't be life if it wasn't, Thank you so much, I can't express how I feel about your comment man. You are the kindest person I've met in my life so thank you very very much. You have a goodnight to man, you deserve it.
Your local stranger,
Crystal Prodcutions.
Writing this in the middle of the night on october 2 2024 rn. Thank you for making this, and I mean it. I’ve been horrible at personal care to the point that some parts of my skin is so dry it started bleeding, and that I just feel like total **it. This helped me feel a bit better, even if it’s not much. Hope everyone reading this is okay, remember that someone is probably going through the same thing.
17:38 BASTA ESTA CANCIÓN ME HACE SUFRIR SIEMPRE T__T
my comfort playlist >>
People do the w+s spam behind me and I tell them to stop, tell them my age (ten) and they dont stop. Its so dehumanizing and just gives me trauma. People say its just pixels but those pixels are still me, and its rude to say womp womp or defend people who are probably gonna grow up to be groomers, because I'm on the verge of relating to chocolate box girl by weevildoing (epic song)
Can't edit on mobile, but for context its on roblox
At the same age, I relate so much and I'm genuinely sorry...
thank you, your playlist is really calming,
so
well, uh
at the university, everyone knows me as a quiet and nice student so they just don't believe me when I say that I can get angry and shout at someone. I keep getting told that I speak too quietly and - well that's too bad because as soon as I get home I lash out at everyone, so there I keep getting told to stop yelling. I yell, I yell a lot and then just cry. I understand that I probably just hold back too much because I can't be myself around anyone except my family. I don't have any real friends, only my family - but I keep throwing out all my bad emotions on them, and I can't even explain to them what's happening to me. I guess I'm just afraid that they won't understand, and I don't want to be a burden, but damn it. I'm already a burden. i'm 19 but I still keep acting like a child.
Every relationship needs communication or it’ll, like- *poof* so… if you tell them what you need, i mean i don’t know them, but if you do, they should want to give that to you. And if you don’t know what you need, then just being honest can help. Try?
@@rainbowphrog guess I have to try... thanks for advice
@@Tteri yess please do, but at your own pace. Nothing is forever, even the bad things
Please make more playlists! I loved this!
Dude, I love liana flores, and just because the first song is MY FAVORITE from liana Flores (besides Recently) I just got motivation to listen
awh im so glad u likesd it!!!
half return made me sob so hard bc for some reason it made me think about how much has changed for the worst since my grandpa died and how much my family now still doesnt think i have remorse because i was only 8 and didnt understand what death really was so i didnt cry while everyone else was, now im 13, 14 in october, wondering if anyone else will die thats very dear to me, i think my grandma mary is next...
my friends always say like “you have 200 hair particles” or “you’re bald” when my hair is just short (little past my shoulders) and thin. it’s getting rlly annoying n i’m getting kinda insecure abt it. my hair has always been short like this n my hair stopped growing when i was 2 nd started growing again when i was 10
23:04 it's the first time i heard this song since my best friend's dad passed away last year. The lyrics feel very accurate, everyone else left and for o while it was only the two of us, i want her to see how loved and precious and strong she is.
Hey G yk how i tell you that everyone that gets to meet you will love you, well at least i will always do
Beutiful boy has to be the most beautiful song ive ever heard in my life. Playing this for my 7 year old chicken that has a incurable disease shes crying in my arms.. Everything will be alright..
(This is a vent sorry)
Tw: sibling d*ath, sewerslide
So basically my sister died, she hated me anyway but HUH!? Also yeah I’m probably not making it to my 15th birthday
I love you. I care about you.
oh my god im so sorry to hear that.. :( but hey, ik you may not think you deserve to live but i promise you do. making it to your 15th birthday will be the best achievement of your life when you get there, so stay strong, and i'll be proud of you when you do! 🫂🫂
@@KoopaScribbles Tysm 🫂
Hey. From a fellow person your age, I assure you it's worth it to live longer. No matter what happens, I can't imagine it, honestly, I've never lost anyone that close to me. I've never cried like that. But I still wish I could take your pain on for you. You're worth all of the time it takes to heal. Please don't leave. I've always convinced myself to stay alive because of one thing, and I want to share this with you; I want to make it to my deathbed, when I'm old and lived a life, and laugh at all the good memories as I pass on. Please make it there with me.
@@NoName-sr4co I’ll try, and thanks so much for your support, I’m so sorry you lost somebody close to you, but yeah, we can make it together ❤
10/8/24
I’m starting to reconsider ending it all it’s not getting better I’m tired of being here I’ve been trying to stay but no not helping the only thing keeping me here is my cat she’s been there all this time yes my mom may have but she wasn’t there when I was crying every night she wasn’t there when I was considering to end it she wasn’t there to worry about if I was going to do it my cat was she’s been there that whole time she knew I wasn’t okay she knew that I love her sm:) (she was laying on my lap when I was out in my living room)
please stay.
I wish it wasn’t like this.
I hate how it wasn’t always this bad. I hate how easily I can define the point where everything went to shit. I hate how I know what it’s like to be loved, for your family to care, and understand, and support you. I hate that I don’t feel that way.
I feel like a broken doll. Just sitting up there on a shelf, the gifted golden child, and then I get knocked down and shattered on the ground, and glued back together, and put back up like it never happened. But I know it happened. And I feel those cracks. And they hurt. But nobody else does. I keep having to hold myself back from cutting because my friends made me promise I wouldn’t. I don’t want to die, I just don’t want to be here. I go to therapy. My parents know what I did to my arms. I’m more confident than I’ve been in months. I should be fine by now but I’m not. I keep lying awake at night wondering what being dead is like. My mother says she loves me but I can’t make myself believe her.
I’m just glad I have good friends. They’re all that’s keeping my blood inside me sometimes.
I don’t even know what I’m getting at. I’m just confused. How do people figure out their entire life so easily? How people know what they are? Who they are? Who they want to be? They make it seem so easy.
I miss being not being treated bad,wait,I never was once treated right...I miss him,I miss you,I miss them...I'm sorry I'm annoying...What have I become? An aggressive traumatized monster thats insecure,I just want comfort,I get told to let my guard down...I cant ever let it down again,I've hurt people because I'm scared,All I want is a hug..But I cant get one...I'm actually a very vulnerable person,wait,no.. I'm not a person...I'm a filthy relentless monster...I'm vulnerable to things though,I want to feel at home....It's hard to forget people who inflicted something that you will remember....I just want to be hugged,I want to be missed..I don't want to be called childish...I just never had a childhood.... (Me:12))
Why cant they just act like adults? Like parents? Why do i have to do the job..?
I feel like I want someone to love me just to make sure I’m a good person even though I don’t love myself. It’s like I’m selling a product I hate but I want people to buy it. I heard that from my therapist and it hit hard for me. I honestly move schools because it’s not enough for me. I feel so stupid for being here. I always think of how I look and what expressions I make to certain things and if I should change it to people’s standards. I want to kill myself but I don’t want to tell my mom or dad anymore. I’m giving them grief after all.
I'm currently trying to breathe past stress that feels like a long heart attack. I swear I can feel my heart stuttering. Breathing hurts. Distractions don't really work, because the pain remains in my chest. I feel like I'm going to go nuts. I'm trying to just focus on the fact that it'll eventually go away, because people told me to try and think about positive things, but I feel miserable and I need to express that somehow.
I've had a shit life so far. I haven't really let myself think so because it didn't get as bad as it could have, but the truth is that I barely have 3 years worth of memories compared to the double-digit number I should have and too many of them are bad. I suppose things are 'getting better' now, but I wish they didn't have to get better, I wish they always were. I wish I had always been happy, I wish that I in the present could feel what happiness is like without pain. I wish the people around me had been less selfish so often.
Hello people. Currently writing this Oct 23. As a 11 year old girl whos birthday is in 2 months (dec 3 ^^) ive had my experiences and want to give a message to the world to Love yourself even if you start to give insecure about your body. Everybodys beautiful even you beauty can be found in every body some people or yourself cant see!
You got rejected? Oh you poor thing.... I know love hurts but soon youll find a person one day that would care for you not like the person that rejected you. You were too pretty for them they wouldn't understand your beauty.
Your parents are abusive? You poor child... Mine are too but it will get better soon trust me you will turn 18 and you will hopefully be able to cut contact with them and stop interacting with them children.
You dont feel worthy? Child, everybody is worthy ill give an example! Water is 2 dollars at a gas station then its 4 dollars at a store and 6 at an airport. See how the water gets more expensive when the loaction changes? You are worthy children it just depends on the place your in loves.
You dont feel proud? Kid im always there for you. Trust me children im proud of the grades you get even if their bad because you tried. Im proud of you guys for eating. Im proud of you for sleeping. Im proud of you for waking up. Im proud of you for doing your laundry. Im PROUD OF EVERYTHING YOU CHILDREN DO!
signing off- Exho🎃
Can you not scare the crap outta me while I'm trying to cry dawg 40:58
today is sept 13th 2024. on sept 13th 2020, my best friend Kai slit his wrists on the phone with me and passed away. this day marks four years, i am devastated. i talk to him still and i till him about my day everyday. i miss him more than i could ever express. he meant the world to me, he was my only friend for so long. i knew he was struggling and i was always trying to help him. i tried to help him even till the end. i begged him to stop but he’s gone and he’s been gone for four years today. i don’t know how i feel about that.. he’s been free of suffering for four year now. today makes me very upset every year but i guess the only way i can express it is in a youtube comment on a vent playlist. oh well i’ll see him soon
hey. I know this is late. I just wanted to say, don't give up on life. I know that it hurts you, but it's not worth it. I'm sure your best friend would be happy to see you being happy and living your life. things will get better for you, just keep on living.
Thank you.
omg everyone here has gone/is going through so much. to whoever’s reading this I hope ur doing okay in life, its so sad to see how horrible people can be to great people :( no matter who/what you are you’re accepted. just remember that (also remember to stay hydrated & eat sum food ^_^)
my vent is pretty mid but i have a crush on this girl and i guess she just doesnt like me back, it eats at my confidence cuz my friend literally JUST effortlessly got a gf 😭😭 i’m not mad at them for any reason, im so happy for him but i just feel alone. i dont have much friends at school and nobody really likes me, so i guess i just feel jealous but ill be fine :)
thanks for reading whoever u are, and just remember that your loved deeply and unconditionally ^-^ i hope you have a great day/night & remember to take care of urself ❤
awh im sorry that happened:// just know that some day very soon you'll find the right one!! 🫂🫂
@@KoopaScribbles tysm :) i loved the playlist btw, it has like basically all my favorite songs on it LOL
10/1/2024, Monday-
I want to kms so bad. Even if it's something little.
i want to go home but it's just not the same anymore
I have not eaten yet since its still sunrise... Might go for some chocolate milk first...
Today, 15th of September. It’s 1:14am. I’ll be 12 in December. I’m so messed up. I’ve been messed up for years. I don’t get why people are so terrible. I didn’t ask for you to touch me. It wasn’t my fault. I’m a child, did you really have to hurt me? :(
🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
i ike the way the last one suddenly started playing harpy hare