I did an all-nighter before my dissertation + opening results

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  • Опубліковано 22 лис 2024

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  • @itsshayene
    @itsshayene 4 місяці тому +747

    I wanted to add that I feel like when you get to that point of panic and anxiety, where you feel like everything you’ve written is utter nonsense and the examiner won’t like it, it’s time to put everything away and go to sleep. It’s so easy to give into our inner critics but it’s very much a sign from our bodies that we need to slow down and trust ourselves. I’m glad you made this video!

    • @katie_cant_compute
      @katie_cant_compute 4 місяці тому +5

      Second this :,33 🫶

    • @mf1203
      @mf1203 4 місяці тому +10

      I’m busy with the last bit of my PhD, always scared to send a draft to my supervisors. And now again need to make changes again. And I agree with you to step back from the anxiety and get sleep, but my problem is that I get so stressed and anxious, that I can’t fall asleep! 😂 and then i’m extra useless the next day

    • @faithlesshound5621
      @faithlesshound5621 4 місяці тому +10

      This applies to writing reports for work too. If you have to submit them on paper, don't print out what you do in the early hours of the morning. Save it at night, then check in the morning to pick up the silly mistakes you couldn't see, then print or send. Ideally don't do hard brain work in the early hours at all: get a good night's sleep and wake up early if you have to do more work. Unfortunately I can pick up mistakes more easily on paper than on screen.
      The other thing to remember is that it just has to be good enough, not perfect. The law of diminishing returns applies when it comes to repeated tinkering. You may even end up making it worse.

    • @FreshSalad645
      @FreshSalad645 4 місяці тому +4

      When I wrote my master's thesis (not in the UK), I had two deadlines. The first one was one week before submission so I could send it to proof readers. I also spent a few days proof reading some of my friends' theses. Then I could spend a couple days tuning mine before printing and binding it and officially sending it off !

    • @xu33e
      @xu33e 4 місяці тому +5

      honestly this is so true, i thought my undergraduate disseration was awful and i couldnt stand to read it, submitted it, got my grade and didn't read it again until i found the document 6 months later where i realised i was clearly an academic legend all along. time heals all

  • @Unknown0ne
    @Unknown0ne 4 місяці тому +341

    Dear Ruby,
    6 Months ago I tried to take my own life and very nearly succeeded. When I became conscious in the hospital and during my 3 weeks in a psychiatric hospital, I realised the importance of making small, smart decisions every day and putting my mental health first. I cannot overstate your UA-cam posts' importance in helping me with this process. I have, of course, used many other tools to reach this good state of mental health that I am in today but your posts HAVE been a part of that. Watching you in pain as you struggled with your own issues throughout this video I began to cry. I really want you to know how much you have helped me keep a calm, clear and simple approach to the challenges in my life. Thank you Ruby for being you

    • @mayflyrose8195
      @mayflyrose8195 4 місяці тому +48

      I'm so glad you're here and finding ways to be at peace. Keep sticking up for yourself ! 🦋

    • @riyamishra280
      @riyamishra280 4 місяці тому +7

      I am really glad that you are here with us today. Keep going. Sending you hugs

    • @LukeShaffer-vj5cl
      @LukeShaffer-vj5cl 4 місяці тому +6

      Always remember that YOU MATTER, you are here for a reason.

    • @m.e.3614
      @m.e.3614 2 місяці тому +1

      That is so beautiful what you said and I am so glad that you are ok and taking care of yourself. Sending you a big hug.

    • @BirdiePine
      @BirdiePine Місяць тому

      I'm so glad you're still here!
      I wish you all the peace you need to make it through your struggles🌻I also wanted to wish you strength in the first place, but then I realized that you already have so much of it because you came this far!

  • @sundaygirl006
    @sundaygirl006 4 місяці тому +276

    When I was doing my dissertation I would get feedback from my tutor and I wouldn’t look at it for days because I was convinced it would be “you’re a fraud, your work is bad, don’t even bother just quit” until my sister would force me to read it and the comments would be “awfully good writing, keep up the good work” and I would burst into tears. I know exactly how you feel

    • @lauraw.2723
      @lauraw.2723 4 місяці тому +10

      This was me on my thesis! Thank god for sisters, right?!

    • @malu8710
      @malu8710 3 місяці тому +1

      Me right now. Except I don’t know what I’m doing

    • @theodorapantelich2535
      @theodorapantelich2535 2 місяці тому

      Ahhh this happened to me too! Am now on leave from my PhD and seriously considering changing degrees. The stress is sometimes too much to handle

    • @noemiolesiak9311
      @noemiolesiak9311 Місяць тому

      @@lauraw.2723 exactly! i think it helps a lot when you have someone to help you with things like that

  • @lambsgreenpasture
    @lambsgreenpasture 4 місяці тому +353

    I don't think I breathed at all until the end, and then tears. Congratulations, Ruby.

    • @ds_1211
      @ds_1211 4 місяці тому +7

      why so dramatic😭😭

  • @michellejohnson7559
    @michellejohnson7559 4 місяці тому +101

    As a uni lecturer who has gone through my own undergrad, Masters and PhD process I understand the anxiety, imposter syndrome and just general self-doubt that comes with higher academic study. You’ve given some great advice here. Congrats on your distinction and good luck with the PhD plans. 🎉 BUT please take your own advice here. It’s yet another levelling up game with the PhD and the epidemic of academic mental ill-health is very real. Look after your wellness throughout the process and it’ll be a far more positive experience to look back on after. I have no doubt you have what it takes to thrive as an academic but you deserve self-care through the process. This self-same advice goes to anyone reading this.

    • @docamyleyerzapf4054
      @docamyleyerzapf4054 4 місяці тому

      Ditto this @michellejohnson7559! I too am a uni lecturer who made the same journey, sometimes it feels as if the process is designed to cause us to feel less than capable. But being accepted into your program is enough proof that you are capable, you wouldn't have a spot if people didn't believe in you. This is the opportunity for you to be welcomed into the world of academia, for your professors to help you practice the skills and thinking that make up academic life. Your success is their success. Find a strong mentor whose style is both challenging and supportive. You will soar!

  • @EruditeMeTonight
    @EruditeMeTonight 4 місяці тому +86

    That last minute, your silence, the murmuring, the camera to your family, the background score? I burst into tears. Thank you so much for your words and for sharing. You deserve nothing but success and happiness thank you thank you thank you

  • @UmaimahX
    @UmaimahX 4 місяці тому +195

    the only relatable comfy corner of the internet !

  • @jakecavendish3470
    @jakecavendish3470 4 місяці тому +48

    It's definitley important to keep things in perspective. My friend was absolutely stressed about her master's thesis, passed it with the highest grade ever given and two weeks later died in a freak accident in a swimming pool without ever getting her results

  • @alysiasmith2447
    @alysiasmith2447 4 місяці тому +62

    My husband is in his last year of neuroscience studies. He and I both love your channel and wanted to say congratulations! We are so happy for you!

  • @jeremiahbok9028
    @jeremiahbok9028 4 місяці тому +106

    What a harrowing night, it was stressful just watching this. I'm so glad that, whatever the end result is, that miserable night is over with. Thank you for sharing this, this is very vulnerable. I truly hope you get a grade that reflects your dedication, but in the meantime, I also hope you're moving on and doing your best not to worry. The time to worry about your dissertation was when you were writing it. Now you're free, so please try to feel that freedom. I am so grateful for this reminder that we all doubt ourselves and how necessary it is to, as you say, trust ourselves. Sending all my fondness and respect.

  • @writtenbypoets632
    @writtenbypoets632 4 місяці тому +9

    As a person with chronic anxiety I felt so seen in these clips. The nervousness, the repetition of sentences and the need to perfect everything last minute. I am very grateful that you shared this with us. Thank you

  • @kevinsattarzade6534
    @kevinsattarzade6534 3 місяці тому +11

    I doubted myself so much while writing my dissertation and put in endless hours of work. After I submitted it, my personal tutor emailed me a week later, urgently asking for a Zoom meeting. I was convinced I had done terribly-why else would she want to meet so soon? But when we got on the call, she told me it was such an amazing piece of work that even the second and third markers said it needs to be published. This experience taught me to always believe in myself. 💪

  • @jamesonjabiru
    @jamesonjabiru 4 місяці тому +2

    Im 52. Ive been doing that all my life. I absolutely kmow awhat youre going through. You made this old man teary. Bless.

  • @tatyplummer
    @tatyplummer 4 місяці тому +18

    Dear God! I cried so hard right now...in the end... with you! I am speechless! Not only because I felt like I was there with you, but also because this video spoke with my soul.
    I am pushing myself hard, praying, studying, and doing my best, but I can't shake this feeling that I am not enough... and you wrote those things in the end.
    Thank you so much! For being who you are, sharing your journey with us, and fighting for what you want with such a lovely heart.
    I wish I could give you a big hug. Congratulations, my dear!

  • @shellsandwood
    @shellsandwood 4 місяці тому +60

    Congratulations Ruby!! I've loved being on this journey with you. Thank you for allowing us a glimpse into your wonderful way of seeing the world.

  • @EleLand-ln4xh
    @EleLand-ln4xh 4 місяці тому +26

    My beautiful girl, remember that your value as a person, as a human being... is not in a grade, nor in academic achievements. Have compassion for yourself and be gentle with your mind and heart. A huge hug, remember that you are incredible❤❤❤

  • @maikagiyama3057
    @maikagiyama3057 4 місяці тому +10

    I'm usually a silent viewer, but I've been watching you since I started university (like 7-8 years ago, just changed my account over time) and I cried of emotion and happiness at your result. You have put so much work, love and enthusiasm in this assignment. Congratulations, you really deserve this.
    I also wanted to say that I relate to this video a lot, not only in academics (I was kinda like this in my GCSE and uni exams), but also in non-academic situations. Thank you for being honest, open and transparent. Most people here use your videos to motivate ourselves, and you're a role model for people older than you as well, so we appreciate that you decided to share with us this valuable lesson. Hope you enjoy this summer holidays. You already look much happier and relaxed than in the last vlog, and that makes all of us happy.

  • @kritishdadu9828
    @kritishdadu9828 4 місяці тому +49

    I have been with this channel when you started Exeter, I now am in the third-year of my law school and we've always got our FIRSTS together on our results! I and Ruby have legit grown together!

  • @andreav83
    @andreav83 4 місяці тому +66

    It is remarkable that someone as young as you are can be so self-aware and insightful. I feel that it's rare these days, even for 40-year-olds like myself.
    On another note, always remember that you only ever need to do your best, Ruby, and yes - enjoy what you're doing. The rest will follow.
    Congratulations on the incredibly hard work you put into this academic year. You should be super proud!

    • @katie_cant_compute
      @katie_cant_compute 4 місяці тому +2

      This is so nice

    • @mollymo6229
      @mollymo6229 4 місяці тому +1

      Young and insightful ? We all are in a way nothing to do with age. And it’s not rare at all

    • @andreav83
      @andreav83 3 місяці тому

      @@mollymo6229 I understand what you're saying and, yes, you're right. I guess I was just comparing myself and my peers to how we were when we were around Ruby's age. Ruby just seems like she is miles ahead of where we were. It's not a slight on anyone, just a purely subjective observation 🙂

  • @teainortakoy
    @teainortakoy 4 місяці тому +3

    Congratulations Ruby - I can't think of a more hard working, kind, caring and wonderful person that deserves it more. Wishing you every ounce of success, joy and happiness! ♥

  • @duohensheng
    @duohensheng 4 місяці тому +4

    this is so powerful. I fully teared up at the end. it takes so much courage to be this vulnerable and this self-aware. congratulations Ruby, on the results but mostly on the person you are!!

  • @sanjanavijayan357
    @sanjanavijayan357 4 місяці тому +3

    Omgg, congratulations Ruby!! Everything you said about putting a lot of pressure on oneself when it comes to something we're passionate about or care a lot about has really resonated with me, thank you for being a constant motivation :) Once again, congratulations!!

    • @RubyGranger8
      @RubyGranger8  4 місяці тому +2

      I’m so pleased it did and was somewhat helpful - I was nervous to share this so that mean a lot x

  • @S.K-z8z
    @S.K-z8z 4 місяці тому +2

    Liebe Ruby,
    ich gehöre zu den stillen Zuschauern deines Kanals. Seit einem Jahr schaue ich mir mit großer Begeisterung deine Videos an.
    Diesmal habe ich bis zum Ende fast schon die Luft angehalten 😊
    Ich gratuliere dir herzlich für deine Auszeichnung 🎉 Gut gemacht!

  • @gloriamolina4299
    @gloriamolina4299 4 місяці тому +39

    SO SO INCREDIBLY PROUD OF YOU RUBY!! I can't even describe how happy I am for you. Huge congratulations 🎉❤

  • @deanpfeiffer3488
    @deanpfeiffer3488 4 місяці тому +1

    I’m a 4th year medical student in America awaiting the results from an exam that will basically determine how residency applications go for me (Step 2 for anyone that’s familiar). I’ve had a rough two weeks convincing myself that I totally bombed it because I’ve been focused on the handful of questions I know I got wrong. This was like a breath of fresh air to me. Thank you so much for your honesty on your journey! It’s very healing ❤

  • @hanjissidegirl8672
    @hanjissidegirl8672 4 місяці тому +2

    I dont think a video of yours has ever brought me to tears before, but this one did! This video serves as such a reminder to not second guess ourselves, and to trust our own instincts when we are in the right headspace. I cant even put into words how happy I am for you, and I cant think of a person who deserves such a good mark more than you! Through this academic year, your videos seriosuly helped me to push through GCSEs, and now that results are just over a month away, you have given me new confidence in all the work I put in to studying for them, and that results will be okay! Have a great summer, Ruby, and I hope the future treats you well! ❤❤

  • @samster4955
    @samster4955 4 місяці тому +2

    Congratulations, Ruby! this American girl is so proud of you!!!
    don't forget to take some time to breathe and reflect it helped me a lot when I finished university.

  • @lovesophiexox
    @lovesophiexox 4 місяці тому +2

    I really admire your vulnerability in sharing this. It’s so important to talk about. It can be so hard not to doubt yourself. Congrats on your mark, it’s so clear how hard you worked and how passionate you are about you work. Oxford would be very lucky to have you as a phd candidate

  • @edenscorner3
    @edenscorner3 4 місяці тому +7

    that anxious spiral of checking and rechecking is honestly such a draining experience but I'm so relieved it worked out in the end, congrats on the distinction!

  • @emilielinstewart
    @emilielinstewart 4 місяці тому +1

    I have been watching your videos for four years Ruby and I have to say that you never cease to amaze me with your perspectives and wisdom. So so happy for you that you got distinctions (I’m sure your work was brilliant). And a huge thank you for this video which is a healthy reminder to be kind to yourself and to recognize days where youre in a bad headspace. 💛

    • @RubyGranger8
      @RubyGranger8  4 місяці тому

      Thank you so much for such kind words Emilie x

  • @NaturalBeautyGlow
    @NaturalBeautyGlow 4 місяці тому +17

    Are you going for your phd? What are your plans moving forward? I can’t wait to hear an update video! Been watching for 5 years!!

  • @Werns_
    @Werns_ 4 місяці тому +3

    I cried so hard when you got your distinction. I've never felt so seen and validated. Thank you for sharing the trauma and stress we can put ourselves through during these times.

    • @RubyGranger8
      @RubyGranger8  4 місяці тому +2

      Oh my gosh that’s beyond lovely… I don’t know what to say x

  • @nadiaolsen7196
    @nadiaolsen7196 2 місяці тому

    Ruby, you made me cry. I felt the same as you in my career, so seeing you that nervous, and then bursting into happiness with your results, after all that effort, is really so inspiring and exciting. I'm so proud of you! Thank you for showing us your genuine self.❤

  • @rozminhall
    @rozminhall 4 місяці тому +7

    Your channel is literally my comfort nook! So soothing! 🌱Thank you for the honesty in this video🙌🏼🫶🏼

  • @tomg271
    @tomg271 4 місяці тому +7

    It definitely gets to the point with any type of assignment that it is worth just calling it a day for your own sanity otherwise you could forever be making tweaks that in the long run will never be perfect in everyone's eyes.

  • @mhairiallen2304
    @mhairiallen2304 4 місяці тому +27

    Please look after yourself. You’re gonna make yourself very unwell from the stress and potentially mentally make yourself unwell as well. I really would never want that for you. Been there done that.

  • @Meg_intheclouds
    @Meg_intheclouds 4 місяці тому

    I think me a year ago needed this video and if I could show it to her I would, you’re videos have always brought so much comfort for me and when I was younger I also was exactly like Hermione granger because I didn’t know how else to be and modelling myself off of characters was the only way I knew. Now I’ve finished one year at university and realised that I was holding myself to the standards when this entire time I had undiagnosed ADHD. Always had high anxiety over performance, but it really is not worth the cost of mental health. School and studying should be about learning and enjoying that which j always have, I just lost that love but I’m finally starting to get it back. And this video made me reflect on all this and It’s also been so cool to see you grow over the years.
    It makes me happy that at the age of 10 8 years ago, I chose the right person to be my role model 🥰

  • @min_sqt
    @min_sqt 4 місяці тому +11

    THIS! The joy of the maker is always visible in the finished product. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had to redo a painting due to a sour mood (aka just needing lunch lol). Well said and congrats on finishing up!

  • @anerley123
    @anerley123 4 місяці тому +14

    Wow - massive congratulations! So well deserved, so much heart and soul you put into your work. So happy for you!

  • @heraddledbrain
    @heraddledbrain 3 місяці тому +1

    I'm crying for you, Ruby!! So happy you got the mark you wanted! You work hard for it.

  • @222mohito
    @222mohito Місяць тому

    This is my last week, being overwhelmed with anxiety. I am so glad I found your channel, and I feel like I am not alone now. ( I always say, 'It's not the end of the world...', too).

  • @happycommuter3523
    @happycommuter3523 4 місяці тому +18

    This brings back so memories of staying up all night to finish my undergraduate thesis 35 years ago. I was reviewing my data and realized I had done the calculations all wrong. I had to redo them, reprint the tables and charts on a computer with ancient plotting software, then rewrite my conclusions section. What a nightmare! But I handed it in on time and graduated with high honors. I remember the sound of early morning birdsong when I was in the computer lab and later walking across campus as the sun was rising. I was so tired, everything around me felt surreal.

    • @astro_penguin_
      @astro_penguin_ 4 місяці тому +4

      Omg, that tired dreamy early-morning feeling that comes after hours of stress and frazzle is really something else! Who needs drugs 😅

  • @holly_nb_moonlight
    @holly_nb_moonlight 4 місяці тому +2

    I have watched your videos for years but never commented. Tears of joy for you today... Congratulations! You are amazing!

  • @ianbrooke6342
    @ianbrooke6342 4 місяці тому +19

    Congratulations! Despite all your self-doubts! Well done and well deserved. Now take all your self-advice and use it doing your DPhil, you can do it Ruby.
    Edit: I really enjoyed your on-screen question "Can you tell I'm nervous?", rofl, never in the history of the English language has anyone looked so nervous! Then the enormous relief! Brilliant.

  • @Mondaytuesdaywed
    @Mondaytuesdaywed 3 місяці тому

    I started watching your videos and “Studying with you” for hours while I was in my first degree a few years ago. I searched long and hard to find you again! Just want to say, I appreciate you.

  • @AnniesMovementPlatform
    @AnniesMovementPlatform 3 місяці тому +2

    Sobbing! So happy for you xxx

  • @JustMe-rn5xm
    @JustMe-rn5xm 4 місяці тому

    Thank you so much for sharing this, I sometimes almost feel embarrassed about how worked up I get when a deadline is approaching, and it is kinda comforting to know that even someone like you gets like this sometimes…. I‘m so impressed by how far you‘ve come and you can be really really proud of yourself☺️

  • @carollbdv
    @carollbdv 4 місяці тому

    Ruby, thank you so much for sharing your insecurities and advice! I cried at the end of the video because this was precisely what I needed to watch. I lack a lot of thrust in myself, and sometimes all I need is someone to believe in me, just as you've shown. Thank you so much!

  • @ismusso
    @ismusso 4 місяці тому

    The end of this video made me cry. I’m so grateful to be able to watch your videos because they just motivate me to study in the best and healthiest way possible. Truly thank you❤️

  • @ruthfuller2105
    @ruthfuller2105 4 місяці тому

    I'm so happy for you Ruby. You've worked so hard and its paid off. I felt your anxiety changing, proof reading over and over again. I've been there and done the same. Sometimes we have to just trust ourselves, and know we've done the best we can and that's all we can ask of our selves. Well done.

  • @sarahhobbs7600
    @sarahhobbs7600 4 місяці тому +1

    Congratulations - so delighted for you. You actually made me cry, I really felt for you. You'd worked so hard and were so dedicated. You are an inspiration to us older students! x

  • @katelyng266
    @katelyng266 3 місяці тому

    This video was so healing. I know the feeling of spiraling and the fear of what if I don’t get into post graduate courses. You are someone who has motivated me to stay consistent. Thank you for showing us this side as well.

  • @dianelipson5420
    @dianelipson5420 4 місяці тому

    You put so much time and effort in this. Your mind needed to be sure and that’s okay. And now you know it doesn’t help, and you have a rational argument to shut your brain up with for next time. We all knew you had this all along. We’ve been watching you for some time. Your setbacks hurt, even though we knew you’d get there in the end. You have a remarkable mind. It is so much fun watching to see where it will take you. And I think you help a lot of people when you talk about the stress and disappointments. Because it’s not failure that stops one. It’s letting failure defeat you instead of teaching you that is the trap to beware. You are so brave and determined, we never doubted for a moment that you would soar.

  • @mimnutsy
    @mimnutsy 4 місяці тому

    Thank you for the ending of that video. I resonate with your content on so many levels, and in this week, where I have a 30-hour lecture week for university, I really needed to hear it. Heartfelt congratulations on not only your results, but all the hard work you have put in to get there too.

  • @samschiang
    @samschiang 4 місяці тому

    i’ve been following your channel for over half a decade now and honestly this video could not have come at a better time. i will be sitting for the state bar to become licensed as an attorney in only two weeks, and i was really questioning my abilities, feeling similarly exhausted and confused. thank you for this 💚

  • @Jenny-mo8bu
    @Jenny-mo8bu 4 місяці тому

    I got tears in my eyes at the end of this video, I was SO happy and excited for you! It doesn't surprise me in the least that you got a distinction, but I understand the inclination that many of us have to doubt ourselves. Well done, Ruby!! So well done.

  • @MarsMinorem
    @MarsMinorem 4 місяці тому

    trusting yourself is such an important part of academia, and life in general.
    there will always be times when we doubt what we are doing, and the only way forward is trusting your past self, that person who was in the right headspace when they made those decisions, that was prepared, and full of energy and excitement. it's normal to have doubts when the deadline is approaching, but it's how we react when those doubts surface that can make a difference.
    thank you, ruby, for showing us this part of your journey. i love how sincere and true you are. lots of love!

  • @maluboerwinkel
    @maluboerwinkel 4 місяці тому

    Oh Ruby, as a teacher (and former student) it is so wonderful how you are able to open up about your struggles with self-doubt and pressure. The last part made me tear-up. I’ve watched your content for a while now and can only say how proud I am of what you have accomplished!

  • @jesekreanne
    @jesekreanne 4 місяці тому

    I really appreciate you pointing out that looking productive does not always indicate actually being productive. 🙌🙌

  • @wendylejeune2176
    @wendylejeune2176 4 місяці тому

    Been following you forever and am still watching your videos now even though I completed my master's two years ago. I got emotional watching this video as it brought me back to the anxious days of paper writing. So so proud of you Ruby ❤️

  • @foolianajarley
    @foolianajarley 4 місяці тому

    instant tears, ruby! thank you for taking us along on this journey. a powerful lesson shared, immediately mirrored by your mum's sweet words.

  • @justinemsj
    @justinemsj 3 місяці тому

    Congratulations Ruby, what an incredible achievement and a total reflection of the commitment and passion you’ve shown to your subject. It’s so inspiring to see you candid honesty and reflections.
    I’m applying to study graduate medicine and I’ve been so in my head about entrance exams and this video has impacted me in such a positive way, thank you so much xx

  • @RenateGrobler-kg7kl
    @RenateGrobler-kg7kl 4 місяці тому +7

    I also recently realised that I don’t always trust my train of thought and then end up giving “bad” answers, only to realise that what I initially thought about was actually correct but I doubted my abilities. We need to have more faith in our own abilities. ❤️

  • @Lavender_19lcr
    @Lavender_19lcr 4 місяці тому +1

    To lift up my spirits, I decided to watch one of your videos. I find great comfort in them. Your Oxford vlogs allow me to experience, in a way, my dream of attending Oxford university and your vlogs at home give me the same feeling as reading Anne of Green Gables. Your house is so lovely, so charming, so enchanting! I love it!
    I was a bit reluctant to click on this video, thinking I probably could use a lighter one... Now, I am so glad I watched it! Did I burst into tears at the end??? Yes, I did and it was very liberating.
    I´m in that transition phase after high school and before college. It has been very stressful and scary and uncertain. Today I saw my exam marks and I am feeling disappointed. There´s more I can do to try and get into my first option. Still, it´s pretty fresh and so I´m feeling a bit bummed. This helped me immensely!!! I needed to hear this and the fact that I heard it from you, who I admire so much, was very special to me. I´m sure putting out such a vulnerable video must have provoked some second thoughts... I´m very glad you did it anyway because there is no doubt it has and will inspire many people.
    Thank you so so so much, Ruby. You are a very special, radiant soul and I´m very grateful to and for you.
    Congratulations and best wishes

  • @amyremington381
    @amyremington381 4 місяці тому +1

    Crying as I type. Thank you for sharing this. You are a precious soul, and I so relate to every single minute of this. Thank you for your words at the end. They pierced my heart. I so needed this right now. Congratulations, and bless you for your kind heart!!! ❤

  • @reags28
    @reags28 4 місяці тому

    i wish i could go back and show this video to your past self to relieve yourself of some of the stress you were under. you really are an extraordinary woman and you deserve the grade you got as well as to just be happy in general after all the hard work you put into this dissertation. congratulations :)

  • @Meyhlinn
    @Meyhlinn 4 місяці тому

    Hello Ruby,
    First thing I wanted to say is, last year when I found out you were accepted into a master's degree I was proud, and also I was happy because I was going to do my master's at the same time as you. It's only with these last videos that I understood that your master's degree only lasts one year, while mine lasts 2 years in France. I am very impressed by what you were able to accomplish, even though you say you don't always have good work practices. What matters is that you succeeded and I am proud of you!
    The second thing I wanted to say is thank you. Thank you for accompanying me on a daily basis, thank you for romanticizing my life a little, and thank you for giving me courage to accomplish what I may believe to be insurmountable.
    I have to write a dissertation for this last year of my master's degree and I will think of you!

  • @bituingmarikit
    @bituingmarikit 4 місяці тому

    I just watched this video and I’m literally crying as I can totally relate to this 🥹 I’m currently writing my PhD thesis and this is exactly what I need to realise at this very moment ❤ Thank you, Ruby - you have no idea how much good you put out in the world and help people through your content 💕

  • @rockinrileys5678
    @rockinrileys5678 4 місяці тому

    Congratulations. It is not easy to trust that you have done well and don’t need revision, some of us will take years to accept this. Be kind to yourself and celebrate the hard work that you put in. Looking forward to seeing where your future takes you xx

  • @Rea-dv6rm
    @Rea-dv6rm 4 місяці тому

    Ohh this made me so emotional! First off, it’s actually so refreshing to hear you talk about how self-aware you are of the unnecessary panic and anxiety that your body took ahold of, bc for me anxiety is such a fascinating phenomenon in terms of how our bodies go into complete survival mode until the thing making us anxious is gone, or in this case pulling an all nighter when you logically know it’s probably not a good idea and yet our body takes full control as opposed to our mind. And yet it’s so important that even if we come to regret these things, we constantly learn to remind ourselves that we can’t continue to punish our bodies for making these mistakes.
    I love how you said trust is so key, bc that’s really how I’m able to overcome some of my worst anxiety triggers. And also the part about having a good headspace when you work, I find that rest is really the only thing that brings me back to a place of content.
    Thank you for these reminders and your honesty on your journey. I know you’ve spoken about struggling to not let academia define you in the past and learning to deal with that and I feel that really resonates now, especially in a time in which we may feel like things haven taken a turn for the worst and we become filled with regret for our actions. But it’s also immensely human to be anxious and in a state of survival, and it can become incredibly demoralizing but also is so important to consider for our own health.
    I can’t thank you enough for this honest portrayal Ruby. You opening your result at the end legitimately made me tear up!! I could so relate to your anxiety in that moment and the immediate relief you felt afterwards. Your videos have been a huge inspiration for me to continue my higher education, and while you must hear that a lot from people, I hope that doesn’t cause any pressure for you to perform a certain way on social media, but rather continue to document your authentic self in ways you feel comfortable sharing. I can’t imagine how overwhelming this whole journey must’ve felt, but I know you deserve a nice, patient, fulfilling break as you’ve earned it! And the same goes for anyone reading this too, no matter where you are in your life and what you’re doing at this moment, please remember you are enough as you are.
    Oh and another great reminder: Rest is productive! So take advantage of it, and your body will thank you ❤

  • @CharlotteElizabeth92
    @CharlotteElizabeth92 4 місяці тому

    A fantastic result and very meaningful video. And now... relax! I'm a TA in an SEN school and I think I speak for everyone in eductation this year, including students, when I say that we need this break. You have earned it and should feel so proud.

  • @astara3770
    @astara3770 4 місяці тому

    No one deserves this more than Ruby ❤ she's worked so hard to get to this point at Oxford Well done!!

  • @malandune1430
    @malandune1430 4 місяці тому +1

    Oh sweetheart the way I cried at your nervousness😢 insanely proud of you and eternally grateful for the space you have created here! Wishing you all the best and most of all lots and lots of REST! ❤

  • @hollyturner4186
    @hollyturner4186 4 місяці тому

    Bless you, Ruby. I really feel for you. The last week before I submitted my PhD was super hard with really long days. So glad that you got the result you deserve.

  • @studiouslycozyniche
    @studiouslycozyniche 4 місяці тому

    As a student finishing my undergrad in Ecology and Evolutionary Biology and currently in a grad school program.....I felt this so MUCH, completely to heart, literally made me tear up and I felt the anxiousness, the relief, and the excitement with you. Especially since I just pulled an all-nighter myself for a similar reason. Congratulations Ruby, I am so happy for you, and thank you so much for sharing your Journey, I have been with you since 2019. ^_^

  • @TheDentistryDiary
    @TheDentistryDiary 4 місяці тому +1

    The ending made me cry tears of joy but also relief of relating to every thing you said ✌🏼💯💜

  • @eveklinger4134
    @eveklinger4134 3 місяці тому

    Thank you for sharing this, for being vulnerable. Your words really made me cry. ❤️

  • @miriamcasas35
    @miriamcasas35 4 місяці тому +24

    Congratulations for finishing the dissertation!

  • @youlaynagorayah7057
    @youlaynagorayah7057 4 місяці тому

    My heartiest congratulations you truly deserve it all!!! I could not relate more to this video. As important as grit is, trusting yourself and your judgement play such a big role in academic success. I am so glad to see you bringing attention to this because so little people do and so many of us face the same issues!!

  • @YillingLaozu
    @YillingLaozu 4 місяці тому +1

    I cried at the end, I'm so so immensely proud of you, Ruby! I've just finished my 3rd semester (out of 8) of my bachelor's in biology, and having watched your journey since I was 13 is what's been motivating me to keep going even when I feel like I'm too stupid or my place isn't in academia.
    I have a literature review to do for my project in one of the labs I'm volunteering in (fingers crossed that I'll get a scholarship!) and even though most of the initial part of the research is done, the possibility of disappointing my supervisor has been paralysing me, even though I know that I'm more than capable of doing a good job.
    Thank you so much for this video, for being honest and for being an inspiration.

  • @MargaretM.
    @MargaretM. 4 місяці тому

    Congratulations Ruby! And what a beautiful video. I want to thank you for sharing this with all of us. Opening this part of your life with us really placed us in a new position, watching our dear influencer struggle and then triumph! It was incredibly moving. God Bless you, you are an amazing person!

  • @sabethdalbo6991
    @sabethdalbo6991 4 місяці тому

    To see you grow so so much when it comes to your thought process around productivity is magnificent. I have been watching you since you were in Secondaries and always felt so inspired by you but a feeling of worry. And seeing you here I’ve realized, that worry was you weren’t allowing yourself to be gracious with you.
    Congratulations 🎉

  • @volpina003
    @volpina003 4 місяці тому +2

    Amazing Ruby, the hard work paid off. Well done to you, thank you for bringing us on your Oxford journey.

  • @emilycameron3512
    @emilycameron3512 4 місяці тому

    What an achievement! I’m usually a silent viewer, but I have been around for 7-8 years, and when I was in high school you were honestly the reason why I started to enjoy learning. I am now a chemistry PhD student, and I still find myself making my way back to your channel, and it reminds me what I loved about academia in the first place. Thank you for sharing your journey, and congratulations on such a momentous achievement and on remaining so open and honest as always. Thank you Ruby!

  • @illumi5259
    @illumi5259 4 місяці тому

    Congratulations, Ruby! It has been a pleasure to follow your Oxford journey, I have enjoyed every second of it! I find you incredibly inspiring. Due to several reasons, my mental health hasn't been at its best lately and it has affected my academic year. But everything is fine. I will come back stronger in september. The words you said in the end... I teared up. Thank you, they were exactly what I needed to hear right now. Congrats once more! And take care of your health, that's the most important thing!

  • @JulsDarkAngel
    @JulsDarkAngel 4 місяці тому +5

    Congrats, Ruby! It’s been 8 years since I finished my University life. And now I’m working and teaching in the same Uni.But I love watching your videos. They bring to me so much memories ❤

  • @stephanie_elle
    @stephanie_elle 29 днів тому

    I was on anti-depressants throughout my masters degree and wrote most of my dissertation from the box room at my parents’ house, convinced that if I could just scrape a pass it would be fine. When I opened the portal to see I’d got a distinction I was lost for words. Us high academic achievers really put ourselves through the ringer (because we are set up to do so by well-meaning adults around us from a young age) and it is truly so hard to trust ourselves. Watching this I am so glad you took a break before your PhD (I’m doing mine now after an 8yr break!) 🫶🏻

  • @vanessaprestoncreative
    @vanessaprestoncreative 4 місяці тому

    Congratulations on your result, Ruby!! I felt for you, as I was also like this from about ages 10 to 30. I'm 49 now and I've finally been able to overcome a lot of that perfectionism thanks to chronic illness, though I still see it evident in my writing, art, socialsituazzzz .... ok, I'm still a perfectionist! A grade 5 teacher told my mum that an assignment I completely redid (by hand, in a project book, handwritten and illustrated) probably earned me an extra half a mark, if anything (19.5 out of 20 instead of 19). You'd think I'd have learned from that experience, but no. You're more self-aware now than I was at 30, so hopefully you will be able to learn from this experience. Sending you lots of compassion. xoxo

  • @softcreations
    @softcreations 4 місяці тому

    I can relate so much to what you went through with my job. I always aim for perfection, and most of the time it is my downfall. Striking the right balance is the biggest challenge in both life and work. Congratulations on your result. It’s likely that the changes you made earned you the distinction. Be proud of yourself and what you have achieved. I actually teared up at the end. ❤🎉

  • @jamiedianne6778
    @jamiedianne6778 4 місяці тому +18

    I was feeling your anxiety in the last moments of this video! 😅 I’m genuinely so proud of you and all you’ve accomplished. ❤

    • @hanie2350
      @hanie2350 4 місяці тому +1

      Me too. I could taste the anxiety as well. I'm super happy all worked out for her. Congrats, Ruby!

  • @mschram
    @mschram 4 місяці тому

    As someone working on my own dissertation this summer, listening to you talk about trust and headspace were very valuable reminders. Congratulations on the distinction x

  • @studyvl0gs
    @studyvl0gs 4 місяці тому +2

    Today i'm starting my dissertation for the second time because i was in so much fear of failing it last semester that it couldn't even trust my self to start. i'm now sat in the library second guessing again if i'm capable enough to make it and this video came in the most accurate timing. Thank you, Ruby! I'm so glad six seven years ago i was able to find this channel

  • @debbie8304
    @debbie8304 4 місяці тому

    Congratulations 🎉 So well deserved. I’m a mid lifer and your videos inspired me to do a masters degree after putting it off all those years ago. I’m enjoying being back in academia so much. Thank you.

  • @durstloscherin2658
    @durstloscherin2658 4 місяці тому

    Hey Ruby, as a regular visitor on your channel I find it so so brave of you to share this video and I want to really thank you for it. I can relate to this lack of confidence in oneself very much and I'm admiring your courage to not only talk about a situation where you felt anxious but to also show honest clips you took of yourself whilst being in this headspace - and then your reflections and the kind words you had for yourself and all of us!
    Also, congratulations for your great results!! I'm thrilled to hopefully maybe also follow your PhD journey in Oxford :)

  • @mayaavanthi
    @mayaavanthi 4 місяці тому

    Congratulations Ruby!! - I’ve been on this academic journey with you for so long!! And You should be very proud of all your academic achievements!! You’re my motivation and inspiration and I’m so proud of you!! ❤

  • @michaellamothe40
    @michaellamothe40 4 місяці тому

    So happy for you with the Distinction. I sympathize with your stress and anxiety. Believing in yourself tells you when the work is done to your satisfaction. Godspeed.

  • @Bruceneuman
    @Bruceneuman 4 місяці тому

    I think most people probably work this way. It is why it is better to work in a team and not alone. That is usually a more effective way of working. That said, it is no surprise that you achieved your mark of distinction. Now comes the challenging part of how you will make the most of the platform you have worked so hard for. You have much to offer.

  • @IsabellaPabst
    @IsabellaPabst 4 місяці тому +1

    I actually cried when you got your distinction! I’m so happy for you and you deserve all the success you work so hard for. (Side note: I ALWAYS knew you would get it… I never doubted you. I know this doesn’t exclude the fact that we sometimes sabotage ourselves and I understand how you felt, I’ve been there… but that’s just how I -and maybe most people - see you, like… if there’s one person who could get it, it’s you!) congratulations! I hope you read this and that this helps you be more confident in yourself. ❤ I admire you so much!

  • @Nell_eliz
    @Nell_eliz 4 місяці тому

    This hits home SO hard, university was where my OCD and intense anxiety first reared its head and the self doubt is so real. Thank you for sharing this Ruby, I've followed your journey for so many years and it's been wonderful to see you flourish and to overcome obstacles 🪄💖

  • @annamoorhouse7086
    @annamoorhouse7086 4 місяці тому

    Well done Ruby, what an achievement! You must be thrilled! I was where you are now, last year, however not in this field. I am now an academic working at a university teaching my discipline to others who hold the same passion. This was a dream for me for so long. I totally agree that self belief is hard, imposter syndrome is real and to get through this, knowing yourself is important, knowing you always have doubts about your work, but that you have worked hard. Well done Ruby!!