How to heal when you've been hurt by a church // Worship Leader Wednesday
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- Опубліковано 12 чер 2018
- In this video, Brian and Fuller talk about how to heal if you've ever been hurt by a church, and Brian shares a personal story of a time when he was hurt by a church (and how he healed).
Other videos in this series:
How do you know when it's time to leave? • How do you know when i...
How to leave well: • How to leave well // W...
If you'd like to look up the passages of scripture we referenced, they are:
Psalm 107:28-30
Proverbs 15:22
John 13:35
Hebrews 10:24-25
Psalm 147:3
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I got severely wounded by music leaders who hindered me from singing and broke my spirit. They wounded me deeply and it’s a shame that some people in authority can do so much damage when authority is used to harm others.
This is SO USEFUL. I’ve been hurt deeply. I need healing.
One thing i ve learnt over the years in minstry or rather getting hurt while in minstry is "People who shout Hosanna in the highest for you will be the same people who will shout Crucify him" . So folks in full time or part time minstry need to be prepared to face such odds. Thats why even in words of Jesus we need to be ready to carry our cross. Hope this helps someone . God Bless
Well said
Yes, so true! Thank you for sharing!
This rings so true. As wrong as these situations can be, we still have to forgive and put it into God’s hands.
Four years later, your words helped put my current storm into a kingdom perspective. Thank you!
Testimony here
I actually resigned from our church this Sunday because of leadership. I'm praying for open doors. I have no offers or we don't know where we will go but we couldn't serve under that particular vision anymore. Great video and great timing.
I'm currently suffering from a hurt by some church leaders and I'm deeply hurt and seriously wounded, It gave me sleepless night, I even concluded to gave up my faith ........ Thanks for this video, you Guys really show the character of Christ, I'm relived and happy now, I've forgiven everyone, I'm Encouraged thank you Guys for putting smiles on my face again
Those of us who have performed music in front of others realize how vulnerable you make yourself by being up there on the stage...perhaps much more so than virtually any other duty in the church, in my humble opinion. Having gone through something similar, the hardest thing to deal with was the blow to my confidence. But God opened the door to healing when I was welcomed warmly and appreciated for my abilities by a nearby church. Interestingly, I never stopped serving my original church and eventually found forgiveness from the deep hurt.
Thank you for sharing this. I'm in the wilderness right now of having to resign from my "home" church just this month, and it is hard! I'm clinging to the Great Physician and have been as he's been doing major things the last 6 months in my home and inside me. I have no church I'm feeling called to, and it's been tricky for me to remain focused on God's will vs my own insecurities in this season. I love that God allowed restoration for you and your original church! I'm somewhat curious if he's doing the same for me right now while being open to whatever he says is best. I'm simply holding Sunday afternoon house-worship sessions each week now while visiting other local churches.
I have been hurt in church and, regrettably, ashamedly, I have hurt others. Your words of wisdom are right on. Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty. It is so important to surround yourself, even before anything like this ever happens, with solid examples of "Jesus with skin on",
I soooo needed to hear "Sometimes, I think it's important the story be told, but not while you're in the middle of pain."
Thanks guys for this series. It is a great reminder that people are not perfect and that we live in a broken world even in the church. I had a similar situation happen where I was let go from a church and was never really given a reason though I have a few theories. I struggled to find a reason in all of it and I believe God spoke through my wife when she told me one day that if I ever become a senior pastor to protect my staff from the things that happened to me. Just last year I became a senior pastor at at church and now I get to be a protector and champion of my staff. I seek ways to encourage and build and guide. Like you said Brian we dont know what God has in store for us in the future but I thank God that his vision is much greater than mine
ive gone through this. hardest but most awakening time of my life.
I'm on here to learn from others like you as I'm in a wilderness period myself at the moment.
Sometimes the road to resurrection life is through the Via Dolorosa. I was once betrayed by my church. Lost my family. Lost it all. But this was the valley where I learned to worship the LILY of the Valley. God always redeems our trials and losses. Always.
Yikes Brian! So glad you continued. For all of our sake. You've sincerely guided and equipped many of us and you're ministry has made a significant difference for the kingdom. Thanks for the guidance along the way.
Best video I have come across on UA-cam about healing from church hurt .
God bless .
Yeaaah, god opens new doors!
I wanted to take a break or maby even quit the team because of some reasons. But the worship leader didn't say ok, go. He asked me if I would like to start a new team and lead it (awesome reaction of him!)
Now I lead the second team and it's so amazing.
Just finding this video as I'm going through this right now. I'm an AV tech at my church and have been the head AV person for 8 years. This fall we took on a new associate pastor and part of his job is to oversee the sound booth. But with him coming in I have felt completely over stepped. I feel pushed out and very hurt. I'm just absolutely crushed. The new pastor has came in and has practically bashed the way we have done things... not taking any notice to the fact he is talking about my work.
These men speak wisdom.
You had one more Sunday to have a worship set list of one song of each of those styles they had in the past! That's how I would have ended my worship leading at that church. Everyone of those people that were wanting a different style would have been trying to get the staff to keep you. That would have been my favorite worship service watching the faces of those saying they didn't want you there because you didn't sing it their way all the while you were singing it their way, Lol! I would have had a blast doing that. Loving your enemies! Robert.
Please be praying for me! I'm going through a situation as well!
When I joined my first church in 1985, the way of worship service and music was like 100 years before, the joy was so deep inside, that it was not visible. I disliked it, I thought, it would be related to the fact, that nobody was willing to do other music in the church.
I tried to invest my talent and experienced, how "good Christians" can treat one "You want to join our band? You have to kill one of us!" said the drummer, and the pastor who was leading this band, ignored this.
I believed some lies, one of them was "I have to stay there", another one, "There is no church, like I wish" and one more "I have to fix the lack".
And I didn't get it, that this church locked a door many years before, by liquidating the youth choir and to integrate the singers in the classical choir.
So it couldn't work, to found a band or youth choir. I tried, other ones tried, possibly the choir survived 6 months. One boy and 4 girls coudn't be a choir. I noticed a connection to the decision from the 1950's.
I tried to join other bands, but it was a fight. One band wasn't willing to " Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." as Galatians 6, 2 says. I was keyboard player with no driver license and no car and I understood, they can't transport my stuff every rehearsal, so we agreed, that I try to do everything with the small synthesizer in the room and when we have a gig, they bring my stuff to the rehearsal room, we practice, we do the gig and they return my stuff.
But this didn't work, my dad's car was in repair service, I had to ask my uncle. A cab was too expensive to me, the band got money for gigs, but I never saw something from this. I also noticed, that my sound was turned down and not audible. I created wonderful sounds and it was, as wouldn't I be there. I tried to stay in the band, I don't know, wasn't I able to see the signs oder not willing or didn't I have the courage - they tried to keep me for one gig and after this they told me, I would be fired. Than they said, what I did wrong. And they did this, after I helped them, to bring equpiment to a dry place, because it was water in the cellar.
The next one was nice, but it was a mess. We had all cables in a box and wants it the same time, some cables were too short, our sound man didn't check it. We also had a weekend gig, we met at the rehearsal room, had to wait for two of us, left our mixing console home and found at the venue a mixing console, that had a strange concept and didn't work well. It was so stressy, I was tired and I decided to leave.
I tell this, to underline, how it did harm me - I forgave them all, but this doesn't mean to play down, what they did.
By trying to get a band, I became 51 years old and didn't get this some longer time. It's always temporarly. The last band I lost, because I had to move.
When I see, how they support young people and I may count as too old to need any support...
I continue to have the desire, to join a band, but my motivation isn't anymore, that without me my church would have old hymns, in outdated language and sad, slow, boring... I'm in a church, where contemporary worship is usual.
Over the years I learned, to deal with it, when they doesn't need my musical skills. I remember, how I did, what they need, but deep inside a voice asked "I'm musician, I'm keyboard player, that's my profession, God gave me this talent and it's a compromise, when I sing or do sound or try to find something, that my church would like". This voice stopped, I use opportunities, but I doesn't ask anyone "Do you want to play with me"
I also stopped believing the lie "You're old, you have to hurry, there are few years left"
This has been a rare and helpful video for me since I have been serving in Christian ministries involving production and worship and been around the block on many of these issues. Unfortunately, much of God's people has been known to hurt people in these ministries and I know what it feels like to be cut-off unjustly after years of faithful service or very un-Christianly marginalization and cliques against anyone that isn't part of their "exclusive" groups. I do remember the story of Joseph that reminds me that God is always with us as He was with Joseph, whom did not deserve any of the wrongs against him but yet God never left him and saved Joseph for something much greater than anything he had before. I find that God does close doors for the reason of opening greater doors and bigger scenarios that we had before and all things do work out under God's will and guidance.
John W this was very helpful thank you.
Thank you for sharing!! I’ve recently been hurt by a pastor and his wife, who made some wild and hurtful accusations against me. My husband and I immediately took a step back from everything we were involved in, and we’ve trusted our story to only 3 other families in our rather large church. We’re using the summer to pray and discern God’s will through this trying time. It’s just a weird place to be in! We never thought this would happen! We trusted this man and his wife, but as a good friend told me, the problem with churches, is they’re filled with people! None of us are perfect, and I just need time to heal and remember that mistakes happen, and I need to forgive, even if they never apologize. So much easier said than done, but I’m trying!!
Wow! Exactly what happened to me. Our old pastor brought accusations against me, not my family, just me. I went from being active to doing nothing and being shunned by the whole church. I ended up getting out of church totally and now 4/5 years later...here I am, hating people and having God deal with me. It's a huge step. Dont take your eyes off Christ because you dont want to be here where I am now. Thinking of you!
Thanks for bringing this message guys! I'm going through some of this now. The remarkable thing is, had your thing not happened, you would likely still be banging away on that platform, we would not have WT! So, God has a plan for everything we're going through! Thanks for sharing your experience in a way that didn't tear anyone down.
Yeah. Been there, done that. And I'm sorry for your experience, Brian. It happened to me many years ago, when I was in my early 20s, at an ultra-conservative Baptist church and university in the southern US. I had moved 500 miles from home, newlywed with a baby on the way, convinced that this was God's plan for my life. I dedicated my life to this path with all my heart, and it felt like God himself abandoned me. It was a devastating experience and I lost my faith, my home, and my family. Your advice is great for someone who is able to see their circumstances from a higher perspective, but the experience can be so overwhelming that it feels like the whole universe is against you and there is nowhere to turn. Years later, God restored my life from the ashes, but I still have a huge well of grief in my heart from all that happened.
I totally understand....it's been 3 years for me but I feel I haven't dealt with it properly.
2:50 I had the tendency to stay, always to stay and this can be also wrong. It depends to the individual situation, was it simply a person, that hurt me, was it the leadership. The way you speak about "We have the tendency to leave churches" turned in me to the lie "Never think about changing the church, stay, wait, suffer, smile and hide your feelings" - the result was, at one point, I did my job as sound engineer in the same way, as a projectionist in cinema, that also doesn't care for the movie he projects.
When I was the first time in a charismatic church, I experienced, what I was longing for, understood, why I had the desire in me. My faith was refired again.
Beautiful ministry you offer here ~ Very timely topic (although i'm not part of a Worship Team, but appreciate them)... Congregation members (apparently) can also be hurt & need to know when to leave... currently waiting for Holy Spirit guidance for possible churches to visit, this time without looking for a church 'home', for now. Blessings ~ & Thank you!
Really very encouraging and helpful. I truly needed this video and LORD answered me.
I took the same decision to take a break before even watching the video. So, it's clear and confirmed here that GOD has a plan. Amen!
Thanks 😊
Thank you for all ur 3 videos about this man
Hi guys! Thanks so much for sharing your story with us Brian. Quite honestly, I have never seen your videos before as far as I know, but this just came through my feed. I'm sorry that you went through the hurt you did Brian, but Im glad you can see how God used it to bring you in a new path for your life and that you were able to completely forgive.
I'm an older single adult female and sometimes that's a really hard place to be. I'm old enough to where people want to put you in a certain category. I don't like that because I dont like being put into a box. I still look fairly young and have a youthful style, not too young, but sometimes people are threatened by that too. I'm old enough not to be considered "young", but not so old that I want to be considered as a potential partner or date to every eligible male over 40. I like having healthy friendships of all ages with singles and married couples, but sometimes it's really hard to fit in and just enjoy fellowshipping with fellow believers.
My pastor's wife who is a good deal younger than me has not liked me since I came to the church about 9 year's ago. The strange thing is that we kind of look quite a bit alike and new people have frequently mixed us up. I can tell she really dislikes this. I have reached out to her time and time again, but am always rejected. It was hurtful, but I tried to walk in love and move on.
However, Im now walking through something extremely difficult and I don't know what to do about it. I wish I had a wise pastor to seek counsel with, but I don't know who to go to.
In short she began talking about me from the pulpit about 3 years ago, without saying my name. I at first thought she was speaking of me, but then thought she wouldn't do that. However, later a situation arose in which I did something good for a person that I felt led of God to do. No inappropriate or boundaries were ever ctossed. The person also received it in right way and thanked me in person on several occasions. Somehow, this good got twisted to a lie and all kind of evil things said. What's hard, is this person is now a leader in church too. They know the truth, but apparently didn't set the record straight.
It was just one simple act of obedience...nothing more! Even this person's mother, who is now with the Lord, even thanked me at the time.
So, bottom line, this incident was discussed from the pulpit with lies and twisted truths, but never my name. This happened at least three times by the pastor's wife. It cut deeply each time and Id stay away for a brief season, but go back. Nothing was ever said to me, and I even tried to meet with the pastors, but they wouldn't make the time to meet with me.
Then a short time ago, a new bigger, church was started in a different location. In our first meeting, in our new place, our lead head pastor mentioned the same scenario from the pulpit. This went out on You Tube, and I was called names (again, not by name)
I was called a gossip, divisive, and other deeply hurtful names. This is not true, and I have only told one person who knows nothing about my church. I have told no one else...friend or family. I haven't been able to go back...It's hard because Im not a quitter, and have no idea where I would go. I still have love in my heart ❤️ for them and my church family of nearly 10 years, but as you both said, the hurt is very real. I came to this church because the Lord definitely led me. I have served in many different areas, and have not heard the Lord tell me to leave...yet, I can't bring myself to go back either.
Thanks for allowing me to share my heart...God 🙌 bless!
Watching this helped me through so much. Thank you.
Thanks for tackling another difficult subject! Very good advice!
You guys have made this a while ago but thanks a lot for uploading this. I've been hurt by one of the pastors at our church recently and this definitely helped me process it better. Thank you! Keep up the incredible work. Praying for you both!
This series of videos have help me sooooo much, I haven’t left the church I was looking to but I’ve decided to follow your first advice stay and give it a little bit more. You guys are the best I know this video is a year old but it’s speaking to me today.
Thank you so much for sharing this!!!!!
I'm going through a stickler. But I feel God is using this situation to find more healing in my life.
Thank you all so much I'm going through this right now it's by the holy Spirit that this video was made worship tuttioals you are the best!!!
It was somewhat depressing, hearing what you had to go through. I'm glad it has worked out since. i appreciate your sharing what was obviously a difficult time.
In my last church of 11 years where my family went I'd put a lady pastor on a pedestal. One week we were asked to come out for prayer so she came to pray for me. I was abused emotionally and spiritually. I was shocked!! I walked out never has this happened and I have been a Christian 28 years. This was 3 years ago, we went back to visit 4 times now and then but the landscape had changed. I did forgive her but there are controlling spirits in leadership and the worship leaders. One lady who I know was gifted in singing and jealousy ensued. It was like the X. Factor who can sing the best? She was hurt and has not sang since but still goes to the church. (Ezekiel chapter 34). Many wolves and EGOS.
Excellent! Thank you so much!!!
I've struggled with depression, anxiety, alcoholism most of my life. Essentially socially isolated most of my life. I sobered up, joined a church ,accepted Christ, served regularly, and several leaders, at different times accused me of sin, the volunteer coordinator was critical and abusive. I haven't been to church in two years. However, the good news is I definitely feel my wounds being healed and God leading me to a local church I've seen online
Almost forgot about this today. VBS takes a toll on you brain. I had a conflict a long time back, but i was fighting what God wanted for a while. Eventually ended up in a church that i was happy about for a while, but then the newness wore off. I wanted so desperately to be in worship, but as a leader, not a follower.
to make a story brief I started learning guitar and trying to be a minister to the youth. during the youth trip i had a moment of clarity where everything i am broke down. I didn't feel like who i was i felt lost. Coming to God in that moment i remember sayingsomething like "i've got nothing i can offer." it was from there when i realized I had nothing i found i could stand back up.
After the youth trip i duobled down on my guitar and began learning songs (using Worship tutorial). Over the past 6 years i have grown more than I ever thought possble. It is all to the glory of God. sometimes being moved by God is that there is another lesson or set of skills you have to develop. But anything done by God and executed accordng to His will will end perfectly
Thanks for sharing your story, b-dub. Forgiveness is hard and is a process rather than an event. I’m still working on my process.
thank you I need this
Very good! Thanks for sharing that story as well :)
I always appreciate the humility with which you share your counsel and experiences. This is an excellent word to all in ministry; each of us has been or will go through a hurt by a church person/leader. Some will know what they're doing and choose to do it anyway and others will not even realize the damage being done. None of it is an excuse to act in a manner that is not Christlike, though that may be tempting. So, I appreciate your transparency and the practical, day-to-day advice you offer to guard our hearts from allowing the enemy to have any victory in those situations. I have been deeply hurt by a church leader on two occasions and have found God to be not only faithful but GENEROUS in His touch on my heart and the opening of new doors. He is good. Always.
Fuller and Brian, thank you for sharing on such a sensitive topic... and Brian, for sharing your transparent testimony... I once read a quote, "Without the burden of afflictions it is impossible to reach the height of grace. The gifts of grace increase as the struggles increase." I also remember that God allows trials to purge, prepare, or position us... or something to that effect. I am so glad I found Part 3!
It’s crazy how spit on your story is with mine. It was to my youth leader though. One day out of the blue he was fired. Given no good reason and it hurt so many people. Our whole youth group was severely hurt, and we are still trying to recover. I grew up in that church and with those people and it was so important to me. My parents have found a new church but it just isn’t fulfilling to me. I need a youth group but it’s hard to get involved. I am still struggle a lot with the whole experience BUT since it has happened I have realized how important the ministry and especially youth ministry is. And in this situation have realized that I am called to be a youth leader. I have grown a lot spiritually since then, and I am so thankful. It’s just still really hard.
I can easily understand where you're coming from. That must have been so painful for you, your youth leader, but for all the students too. I can easily identify and put myself in your place. I found the Lord as a teen, and when our youth leader left for college it was devastating to me. I was so new to the Lord, and no one to step in and mentor me. The whole thing kind of fell apart. Not exactly the same thing, but similar. What I didn't realize that although I took some steps backwards, I had the Lord Himself to mentor and teach me! He is the friend that sticks closer than a brother, and who will never leave us as orphans.
It is so neat that you're realizing your natural impartation from God as a youth leader. That's a fantastic calling and Im so glad you're willing to take on the challenges of such a high calling. I worked with youth for many years and through the many challenges, I feel it's a very high calling that God entrusts you with that. God bless you!
Your testimony really helped me. I just got fired from a church abruptly. I was a technical director at a church and got called in and got fired for nothing. It hurt so bad. I'm really trying to forgive and move on. It's so hard because I feel so used and I feel I don't have a voice.
Thanks boys!
God bless you brian!. You just talked to my soul! I would like to share you my completely story, but I'ts too long for share into a comment. But, In a few words, I'm not actually attending to church because of situations wich left wounds In me, poeple who used me and closer friends or leaders who abandom me when I more needed It and much things that I suffered for almost 4 years in the row. I started to lose faith about people at the churches,but you showed me the light. Thank to God for used you! I could see I'm not alone like you said!. God bless you a lot!. I really want to meet you someday and bring you a big hug for all your help throught the distance! I really want to! I hope God allows to me to do that!.
Again once more, God bless you a lot!!!.
I just found this "Worship Leader Wed." playlist. This is so awesome. Great topics! And for this topic, just my 2 cents, I've always tried to remember that The Worship Leader position was, is, & will always be a transient position. The best way to depart is on your terms (better gig) but often it's not your decision, & that's the part that stings. So just to protect myself, I will not accept a full time worship leader position. I will work part time as a worship leader, like 3 days a week (home prep for the service, rehearsal, & of course Sunday), but I have a home based business that pays my bills, and never again will I be tied to a church where a despotic Pastor or a committee of deacons can interrupt my life, because it's going to happen. The church where you are right now, one day you will no longer have that gig. It could be next week because the Pastor's wife didn't like your reggae version of Victory in Jesus, or it could be that the Million member Mega-multiplex church across town wants to hire you for more money, & nothing enhances the Spirit leading you away like a pay raise. But leaving your present church is going to happen, it's a matter of when. And for me, knowing that a departure is inevitable it makes me more relaxed to do my job. My advice, don't quit your day job. Literally.
It’s the worship leaders that are hurting the people not the other way around !
Thank you for this video! It speaks to my situation.My husband and I left our small church after 15 years, the last 5 we led worship. Our pastor (who was my husbands spiritual mentor who led him to Christ) died and new leadership came in which changed everything. Long story short we ended up stepping down and after a negative altercation with the elders and pastor, we left. I haven't played my guitar since then (about a year). I feel like I should pick it up again, but its like there is something blocking me. My hubby has given up on finding a new church and has no interest in singing worship again. I feel very sad when I think about what happened and wonder why Yahuah allowed it.
They make forgiveness sound easy. I can say the words "I forgive you" but I don't mean them. I wish I could.
I think they were pretty clear, forgiveness isn’t easy. In fact, I believe they said it’s the hardest part!! Just know you’re not alone, it’s not easy to forgive, but it’s what God calls us to do, so we must never stop trying!! Think of what God has forgiven in your life, and try to see those who have hurt you through His eyes.
@@tiffanyyoung2595 thanks❤
Great job! I have a story too! I think if you've been in ministry very long you have at least one. And I thought this was a great video! Thanks for following God's call. You've ministered to a lot of people and that wouldn't have happened (probably) if God would not have intervened.
Two years and wow 😯
First before Bradford
Woow...that's what has just happened to me yesterday.
Holy hairlines Batman!!! Such great wisdom here from start to finish.
I think the hardest thing for me, in being hurt by people in a church, is that God still allowed it to happen at the cost of myself. The thing I took away from it was this, If God is willing to put His son on a cross what is my life safe from for His kingdom's cause. And ultimately God isn't in control because of the free-will of the ones he loves. Weirdly it gave me peace to know that He loved me so much to allow me to hurt people even though my intentions are good. And even though the people chose someone else's feelings, safety, calling, and friendship over mine, God still loved me deeply and wanted me.
So what do you when you cant find someone to advise us? And that pain is there . And its overwhelming. 😢
And you confront that situation. And there is no change. 😢
yup just happened to me.
Were asked to step down from a volunteer based serving position because we shared that a student had a concern about a message to the pastor. we were brought under a microscope and statements about social media were deemed unholy or against God's message. When asked to see proof or context, they would not. We were so hurt that the next time we saw one of our students we began to cry and immediately had to leave because we could not focus. I hate that people get in the way of God's vision of the church, but like you said, your upset at the person and not the church or God.
Let go in January, largely due to gender (SBC-ish affiliation, no women in pastoral positions). I helped a church on an interim basis for a little over a year and a half after their LP and WL left within 2 weeks of each other, and their YP left a couple of months later. It was a 2.5 hour round trip, at least twice/week, but I felt I could help them. I was the only consistent person for them in that season. Things grew, it was challenging, people joined the church and worship department, and overall things were going well. It was a healing season for the church. New LP came and moved another direction. Short notice (10 days) given, and here I am, 10 months later, watching this video and trying not to cry. It's still so painful. I wish this was the first time something like this has happened, but unfortunately it's not. It has called into question everything I thought I knew. I know it's not the Church but recovering this time seems nearly impossible. It has affected everything about my life: from friendships to finances. I just keep begging God to let this get better.
i understand where you are and how you feel. after giving all that you have inside and out of pure love only to be treated like the shoes no longer needed is a a lot to handle. devastated mentally, spiritually, financially, emotionally. all eyes are on you seeing how you will respond. i get my comfort in knowing that through it all i still trust the Lord. i didn't say anything bad in the community and i held my peace. He blessed me in other ways. i still deal with the hurt, anger and stuff but i go before God with that so i can function. be encouraged and i'm so sorry for you hurt heart. I pray healing and strength. be blessed.
also, it's their loss because i would've been giving you an increase. you are truly anointed. music ministry isn't easy and when you have those of us who can do it all, people should be more grateful. you can play and you have a awesome voice. Sing to the Lord and not the people and watch how He takes you higher. and as i say this to you, i say this to myself.
Just listened to your song "I'm gonna make it". Thank you ...that in itself brought some comfort. I resigned my position as a worship leader at a church my husband and I helped start. Like Brian, it is a church that prides itself on having a bi-vocational staff. Only the lead pastor is full time. It's a long messy story of poor leadership and a realization that what I thought I had...a loving community...a worship family...well I didn't. They didn't "lead with love' like they claimed. I'm still in the middle of the emotional upheaval. We just started attending the town's largest church....just so I can go in and hide for a while. What they call "church-hurt" is real. I know this to be true and I'm sure it grieves my Father's heart. I can't see past the hurt right now, but I trust I will someday.
I made the mistake to think, I have to stay in my church and to change the things, I dislike, from inside. Later I moved 300 km away and was forced to get another church, a church, where I learned new things, that it was wrong to stay in a church and wait for the change or to force it, when the leaders were not interested. It's wrong, to do it by myself, it is wrong to act against conscience but also to rebell against leadership.
At least I found a good church, where I can grow spiritually, where we welcome the spirit and allow her to do, whatever she wants and where we learn more and more to live it, to be a child of God.
👍
We need Rick Squier to do a revival. There is healing in the top gu..i mean his signature play style.
Now that this has happened how do you know where to go and worship and where to now go settle
Bryan, I have an important question. What is your view on serving in two church together i. e. serving one church (where membership is) and in the evening serving another church?
what is ur take, if one has to compromise satisfying both the sides?
jesus is in control of his church,where true gospel is preached,so if someone hurt you jesus will take care of you,,so that you can forgive him and continue your race,by that
I noticed I have been under attack now I have to expose
Nothing you can do when hurt by a church.
3:00 - I tried this, but the pastor was part of the problem.
The person who walks with you and supports you doesn't need to be a pastor, just someone that you trust and you know they will give you sound advice.
I agree re forgiveness but when the pastor is manipulate and narcissistic and is still doing this to others is this not toxic and why is God allowing it to carry on?
You were hurt because you got fired from church, but what if you were never allowed to serve at all? You were able to go and serve as a worship leader like there is no qualifications, immediately after the fact. But, from my case I was not allowed to even serve on a prayer team. So, I don't feel bad for you because its not a legitimate story. I also didn't have any "doors open" for me either.